Author's Note/Disclaimer: Still don't own Ninjago.

Guess who! That's right, folks, it's Lord Garmadon! Betcha didn't see that one coming. I had to, though. I wanted to try my hand at writing the master troll, so he gets a chapter in this fic. Also, I've referenced The Choice from the Scholastic book Zane: Ninja of Ice, so if you don't know what they're talking about at the beginning, that would be why. (Go read that book. It's good.) I don't know if it's considered canon to the show, but either way, I couldn't help myself. This chapter takes place at some point during The Green Ninja. I know it's a little short, but I hope you still like it.

Chapter Five: Lord Garmadon

Zane watched as Nya dragged Kai off into the ship's bridge for possibly the third time in as many hours.

"I'm still watching you! You'll slip up eventually and when you do, that's when I'll pounce!" Kai shouted. His sister sighed and rolled her eyes, giving him another yank until he was out of sight. Lord Garmadon, the target of Kai's outrage, simply chuckled at the young man's bravado.

Zane turned to the dark lord, shaking his head. "Perhaps you could stop taunting him? I fear if this continues, someone could get hurt." He didn't say aloud that he believed it would be Kai.

"Hmm?" Lord Garmadon in turn spun to face Zane. A wicked grin split his face. "I remember you. You're the one with no past. How's that working out for you?"

"Quite well, actually. I have found my memories, no thanks to you," Zane replied, crossing his arms and frowning.

"Oh, come now. I was only trying to help." Garmadon crossed his two lower arms behind his back while spreading his upper ones in a show of good faith. "Didn't you like my story? I wrote it just for you."

"I'm not even human. Did you ever actually know anything about my past?"

"Honestly?" replied Garmadon. "Not really. You weren't of interest to me until my brother took you in."

"I see." Zane fell silent, a wary eye on the dark lord.

Garmadon smirked. "If you'd like, you can still join me anytime you wish. I may not have my shadow ninja anymore, but it would still be pretty funny to steal one of Wu's students."

"No, thank you," Zane replied curtly. "I will help you rescue Lloyd, but then our dealings will be concluded."

"You're no fun," Garmadon grumped. The dark lord turned, walking across the deck of the Bounty to the railing, grasping at it with his lower hands. His upper arms crossed against his chest as he looked out over Ninjago. Zane assumed their conversation was concluded and turned to go. He stopped as Lord Garmadon spoke once more.

"Have you ever wanted to be a parent, boy?"

Zane turned back, studying Garmadon for a moment before replying. "I have never really thought about it, no. Though I don't believe I am capable of such a thing, given that I am a robot."

"Pff. There are more ways to become a parent than just fathering a child. I mean, take you for example. Your father's son, yet, as you say yourself, you are a robot."

Zane narrowed his eyes. "What are you getting at?" He completely missed the fact that Garmadon had basically just admitted to lying about having knowledge of his past.

"Oh, nothing much. Just making conversation." Garmadon turned to face Zane, still grinning. "What do you think of my son, anyway?"

Zane couldn't help feeling that Garmadon was somehow working an angle with his questions. He had no idea what the dark lord was trying to do, though. Maybe it really was nothing, but just the same, it didn't feel right.

"He's a good kid," Zane replied. "Nothing like his father."

Lord Garmadon laughed. Zane took an involuntary step back as he approached, but all Garmadon did was slap him on the back with both right hands, nearly knocking him over.

"Clever. I like you." Garmadon chuckled. "I heard that Lloyd is quite the troublemaker. Sounds like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Makes a father proud, you know?"

"Only you could be proud of a misbehaving son."

The dark lord laughed again. "My, you are a funny one. What is misbehaving but a child doing something you don't want them to? Why would I see my son trying to emulate me as a bad thing?"

"Well, you can see for yourself the situation it's gotten him into. Releasing the Serpentine has caused nothing but trouble."

Garmadon seemed to consider this for a moment. "Yes, I suppose that is true, but still, I'm proud of my boy. It takes guts to do what he did."

Zane's expression softened. "You really do care about your son, don't you?"

Garmadon scowled. "Of course I do. What kind of father would I be otherwise?"

"An evil one?"

Lord Garmadon stared at Zane for a moment before throwing his head back and roaring with laughter. Zane was perplexed; was what he'd said really that funny?

"I can see why Wu keeps you around," Garmadon said once he'd calmed down enough to speak again. "You're the team comedian."

"I believe you are thinking of Jay, actually."

Garmadon waved a hand in the air, dismissing what Zane said. "Either way, Lloyd's been in good hands, it seems. It really is a shame that I'll have to destroy you all eventually."

Zane thought about telling Garmadon that he could always give up his evil ways and become good, but decided not to. He was well aware of the reason for his evilness in the first place, and knew it would be a pointless waste of time.

"You should try harder to be a good father. For Lloyd's sake. He misses you, you know," he said instead.

Zane expected Lord Garmadon to laugh again, or at least reply with something flippant. Instead, the dark lord fixed Zane with an unexpected expression of surprise. It quickly soured.

"Yes, well, we can't always get what we want, can we?"

With that, Lord Garmadon turned and stalked away, leaving Zane to wonder just how he had managed to make him so mad.