Author's Note: Never expected to see this again, did ya? I've been reading through my past stories for fun and I enjoyed reading through the Normals and I thought, "what if I made a reunion chapter?"
So, here we are. Despite being an extra chapter, consider this canon to the timeline. This is a one time thing because I don't want to be dragged back into meme hell for as much as I enjoyed it, so I hope this is good for you!
—-
The Normals
in
The Christmas Reunion
.
(The Normals was not broadcast in front of a live studio audience, but it's nice to pretend that it is.)
Somewhere, there is a set for a television show, lights flickering on to illuminate the stage. The scene resembled that of a standard talk show, except with your standard Christmas decorations such as a tree fitted up with ornaments in the corner and a (fake) fireplace with those cute holiday snowglobes on the mantle. There are four chairs, all facing a desk with its owner floating behind it.
"Hello everyone, I'd like to welcome you to our special episode." The Ancient Minister declared. The robot's robes were replaced with a bundle of tacky sweaters and a beanie, his robot eyes peering out between them. "You've all missed the Normals, right? Well, people sure do - this story still gets favorites and follows every once in a while despite it being over and the author is somewhat disappointed that a crack story gets more attention that their more serious stuff - but still though, they appreciate that this story is liked and they appreciate you!
"So, I've been allowed to set up a special chapter. A one-time instance where we all get to get together again."
He pressed a button on his desk and canned audience applause begins echoing through the studio.
"So, please welcome to the program, Lucario!"
As if it wasn't annoying the first time, the Ancient Minister activated the applause again. Lucario stepped out of the shadows awkwardly, looking around and waving at...
"...Where's the camera?" Lucario asked him, still with a bashful grin on his face.
"It doesn't matter, please sit down."
The Pokemon, deciding to ignore the camera issue, sat down in one of the four chairs. "So, uh, nice to be here."
"Yes, welcome to the program, Lucario! I'm sure that you have lots of admirers!"
"I'm not the Lucario from the Subspace Emissary's Worlds Conquest." He said bluntly, as if other people have mistaken him as such before.
"...Well still, people appreciate you! So, Lucario, people have been wondering..." The dressed up robot looked down at a paper on his desk. "What have you been up to ever since the Normals disbanded?"
"...The Normals? That isn't something I've heard in a long time." Lucario rambled, with a faint fondness. "Well, ever since those days I've been hanging out with the other Pokemon more. I... thought about becoming friends with Pikachu, but he ended up becoming friends with Meta, and you know, ex-friends seeing each other is kind of awkward. And, well, might cause chaos in case we were to be protagonists again."
"I see. That's why you guys aren't friends anymore?"
"Yeah, we figured that the longer we stayed together, the more weird stuff was going to happen. It's a protagonist thing, Minister."
"Right. I forget, I'm only a recurring character."
"Maybe you'll get a story of your own one day." The Pokemon tried to reassure. "...I hope I won't be in it, though."
"So, how are your other relationships, then?"
"Hm. Pokemon Trainer and his other Pokemon aren't around anymore, so I've tried getting along with Greninja, but that guy prefers to be a loner - he says he's more "ninja" that way. Mewtwo... is actually the same, except without the ninja part... so I'm pretty much only friends with Jigglypuff." He looked down at the floor and sighed. "She isn't a bad friend though, but I sometimes find myself wishing for mo -"
"Hey!" A voice shouted in the darkness. A rotund figure started stepping out toward the light, and the very sight of him filled Lucario with worry.
It was King Dedede.
The penguin was too busy staring down at a flier he had in his hands to notice what was actually going on, let alone that his old friend was in front of him. "So, this is where those free corn dogs are being handed out, right? I don't smell any..."
"Welcome to the show, King Dedede!" The Ancient Minister nonchalantly welcomed.
"Show?" That's when he finally noticed the situation that he's in. "There's no corn dogs here!"
"...Uh, hi Dedede." Lucario quietly greeted, as if doing so any louder would break the universe - which was exactly what he was fearing.
"Oh hey Lucario." Dedede casually answered. He paused, the circumstances dawning on him.
All four of them had vowed never to stay in the same place for an extended amount of time. Lest... things should happen. Horrible things.
"So the Minister is a liar so I think I'm just going to leave." Dedede quickly excused himself.
"Oh no you don't!" The Ancient Minister flew a bit higher and a revolver stuck out of his winter gear, shooting at King Dedede's robes and singing them. Which caused Dedede to cry out in despair because that's oh so terrible. "You must stay and participate! This is a big reunion show for the Normals!"
"Wait, what?" A panicked Lucario reacted, standing up from his seat. "You told me that you were interviewing random Smashers!"
"Well yes. I lied. I also lied about the corndogs, obviously." The Ancient Minister replied. He then pressed the annoying applause button again because he has no sense of timing.
"Y-you didn't have to shoot my robes!" cried Dedede, looking at the burn spots sadly. "Do you know how hard it is to steal robes this good - pay for robes this good?"
"Yes, which is why I'm wearing this winter gear." The Ancient Minister twirled in the air, showing off the bundles of clothing that covered him. After the short impromptu fashion show (that left Lucario and Dedede staring awkwardly), the robot finally decided to get back to the point. "You both seem uneasy, but rest assured, this studio is perfectly safe. It was out of the way for a reason."
Indeed, the studio that they were asked to go to was located in an empty lot in the middle of the plains, surrounded by absolutely nothing for miles. Lucario had gone under the assumption that it was for safety. As for Dedede...
"Hold on, were you really tempted to come all this way for corn dogs?" Lucario asked Dedede - quietly and carefully.
King Dedede ignored his robes and crossed his arms defensively. "I don't judge you!"
"Well, regardless of that, this place is perfectly safe. In fact, after the interview, I will let all four of you leave with different vehicles. Satisfied?"
"I suppose... wait, Falco and Meta Knight are coming too?" Lucario said, sharing a sense of dread with Dedede.
"Well. Yeah." Imagine the robot rolling his eyes here. Maybe making an annoyed noise that said, "are you an idiot?". "What kind of anniversary would this be?"
"Um. Pretty sure the Normals didn't start on Christmas." King Dedede pointed out.
"This is a holiday special. So anyway, King Dedede, you haven't been in anything, lately." The Ancient Minister returned to the interviewing thing. "What have you been up to ever since the Normals split up?"
"Oh, um..." Dedede decided to ignore his burnt robes for now and instead sat himself down on a chair - the one farthest away from Lucario - and decided to indulge the Minister in this bullshit. "So I guess I've been hanging out with that darn puffball some more. Let me tell ya, he's a loser desperate for attention."
Lucario turned toward him questioningly. "That's not even remotely true, everyone loves Kirby."
Dedede closed his eyes, frowning. "Let me live in my lies."
"...Okay."
"Anyway, that puffball wanted to desperately hang out with me, so I let him. It's not the other way around or anything."
"I didn't accuse you of anything." The Minister said bluntly.
"It's not the other way around or anything." King Dedede repeated through gritted teeth. "But yeah, Kirby? He's alright. Never hang out with him when Meta Knight is around though."
"Ah, I see. And neither of you have been in stories since then?"
"Nope." King Dedede answered casually.
However, Lucario was in complete outrage. "Do you not remember? What you did to me?"
"Um. Nope." The robot host answered honestly.
The Pokemon tightly gripped the sides of the chair, trying to keep himself from completely flipping out. "You used me as a guinea pig for a torture room! I actually went insane from it! I've had months of therapy and I will still have agoraphobia from the Empty Room! Do you seriously not remember?"
"It may have slipped my mind."
While Lucario was busy fuming, Dedede asked, "Didn't I cameo in that story?
"No." Lucario answered in between deep breaths to calm himself down. "You were a hallucination."
"Oh, okay."
That's when someone else finally entered the studio: a certain avian. "Hey, I found this flier for free repairs and I was wondering if you cover Landmaste-" Falco walked in and saw Lucario and King Dedede seated at the television set. "Aw crap."
"Get out while you still can!" Dedede screamed at him.
The Ancient Minister looked ready to open fire on him.
Falco made a resigned sigh. "I already made the drive here, so I might as well." He walked over and sat himself down in one of the chairs, his bird eyes taking in his surroundings. "So what is this, some crappy Christmas special?"
"See, someone gets it!" The Ancient Minister said. He victoriously pressed the applause button. "Yes, this is a Christmas special featuring the reunion of the Normals."
"Oh, so we're back to being the protagonists, right?" Falco looked around suspiciously, as if some trap would come out of nowhere to attack them at any moment. "No weird shenanigans, right?"
"Nope. I'm just going to interview everyone and you all get to separate once more."
"Alright then." Falco said, though his eyes were still narrowed in suspicion. For now, he looked over to the other ex-Normals. "So. Hey."
"Hey." Both Lucario and King Dedede responded, scared that more complex responses would lead to an apocalypse.
Falco seemed to be just as afraid, as they just spent the next minute in awkward silence, staring at each other.
The Ancient Minister coughed on the side. "We have a program to run. So, Falco, I've asked everyone else what they've been up to since the Normals disbanded - what say you?"
"Oh, well, I've just been hanging out with Fox like I used to. Eh...but I've been doing that less now, as Meta Knight's been friends with him recently. How weird is that? Meta Knight and Fox being friends? What kinda moron thinks that's a good friendship?" He answered, presenting his own question.
"I'd say that you, a Pokemon, a semi-villainous penguin king, and a puffball knight all being friends is weirder." The host countered.
"We're all united in mutual understanding and sanity." Lucario pointed out.
"Yeah, those guys only became friends because they were trapped in some mansion!" King Dedede added.
"Mansion? ...Oh yes, right." The Ancient Minister murmured, presumably remembering the Trapped Series. "Hm, I'd like to ask more questions, but we still have one more guest..."
Somewhere, they all heard a door open. Convenient, because the three Normals sitting around waiting and not talking to each other until then would make for boring television. Meta Knight emerged from the darkness, his cape flicking behind him. His eyes stared out from the mask toward his fellow ex-Normals. "Nice to see you all again."
"...Nice to see you too?" Falco answered back, wondering why he's so matter-of-factly about this situation. Meta Knight even approached and sat down in the last seat without batting an eyelash, the sound of applause echoing through the empty studio. The other Normals decided to risk sharing a look over the knight's calmness.
"...You're taking this well, old friend." Lucario said.
"What kinda lie did he tell you?" Dedede asked, looking from him to the Ancient Minister.
"...No lies. He was honest about his intentions to me." The knight answered.
The other Normals seemed aghast. Falco was the most confused, bordering on frustration. "What the hell? Then why did you come? You know what we're getting into, it could get dangerous! Hell, a stage light can fall on us at any moment, you know." With that, Falco looked up toward the ceiling in suspicion.
"...This is only one chapter and the author is not fond of writing long one-shots." Meta Knight explained in a quiet voice, utilizing information from beyond the fourth wall for his reasoning. "We're already 2000 words in, I doubt that much else will happen after this."
With that, the Normals seemed to relax.
However, they're still not willing to talk to each other.
"Meta Knight, how have you been doing since the Normals disbanded?" The Ancient Minister said, presenting the same question he asked the others.
"Well, due to... weird circumstances, I've become friends with Fox and Pikachu, which is a strange friendship. However..." The knight sighed. "I fear that in the process of becoming friends with them I've... become a protagonist again."
The Normals all gasped. Lucario looked around in worry, Falco glared around suspiciously with his hand on his blaster, and King Dedede fell out of his chair, fully intent on running out of the studio had the Ancient Minister wasn't brandishing a revolver from within his bundle of clothing.
"Settle down. We will all go our separate ways after this interview. I'm not forcing you guys to become friends again, don't worry." The Ancient Minister reassured, despite keeping his weapon out. "So... how will you guys be spending the Christmas season?"
Oh right, this is a dumb holiday special, the Normals all probably thought. "I'm going back to Dreamland for holiday." King Dedede answered from the floor, eying the weapon and wondering if he could make a run for it. "You know, the Waddle Dees need the holiday off and pay..."
"That's... actually sort of sweet, Dedede." Meta Knight commented, not expecting this sort of generosity. The holidays really do bring the best out of people.
King Dedede pointed at him, screeching. "Don't talk to me! I don't want your curse!"
"O...okay." The knight had to admit that it hurt his feelings a little.
"I'm holding a party with Marth for "high-tier" fighters. You know, that elitist crap." Falco grunted. "Meta, you're high-tier but... you know... you."
"...I understand."
"Sorry." The avian said sincerely. "But you know, I don't want to be a main character... Lucario was only a main character once and he got fucked up."
The Pokemon nodded slowly, then decided to . "...You know, for past Christmas', I liked to take walks outside in the snow. Enjoy the scenery. But now..." An intense frown took over his face, eyes getting teary. "Now I'm afraid of walking forever. I'm afraid of the open fields that I used to love. For once, I'll be staying indoors."
"...I suppose that's my fault, right?" The Ancient Minister asked.
Lucario just silently glared - and to think that he used to have respect for his "leader".
The other Normals didn't like seeing Lucario this way, as much as the Ancient Minister deserves this intense loathing. They had only read about the Empty Room incident in the Smash Gazette but they dared not approach Lucario during his recovery. Not because they didn't want to be involved - but because they didn't want to make things worse. Meta Knight decided to lessen the tension his former friend was giving off by distracting him with his answer. "I'm going to spend the holidays with Fox and Pikachu. It's a nice way to get to know each other some more."
"...Didn't you guys have a Christmas story?" Dedede asked carefully.
Shh. That didn't happen yet canonically. Well, it's not canon but it takes place during a canon period of time that hasn't happened yet.
"That makes no sense but okay."
"Well, you guys certainly have different ideas on how to spend your Christmas." The Ancient Minister took the moment to press the button on his desk to fill the studio with more obnoxious audience claps. "Now, I have a burning question to ask... do you guys all miss each other?"
This stunned the former group into silence.
They looked at each other, not sure of what to say, waiting for someone else to speak first.
Nothing but an awkward silence ran through the studio.
"...Ahem, guys?" The robot host coughed. "We're running on a deadline, here."
"Perfect, we can wait and then we can go home when the deadline's up, right?" Falco asked, a hint of nervousness in his voice.
The Ancient Minister shot into the air, and that was enough of an answer for him.
So the silence continued.
Until King Dedede unexpectedly burst into tears.
"I miss you guys!" He wailed, not even bothering to hide what he would normally consider humiliating. "S-sure, Kirby's 'okay', but he's not you guys..."
The other Normals looked at him sympathetically. Even Falco gave him a look of sympathy. In fact, it was him that spoke next. "Ah hell, who am I kidding? I miss you guys too, as much as I don't want to be involved in shit anymore."
"Yeah, me too..." Lucario admitted, sniffling.
"...Seeing you guys again was the real reason why I came here." Meta Knight admitted.
The Ancient Minister decided to ruin the moment by pressing a button that made an "awwwww" noise that you would hear on cheesy shows like Full House.
However, even that couldn't ruin the feelings that was running in the studio. Falco and Lucario was patting King Dedede on the back while giving each other a firm handshake with their other hand and then reaching out to shake Meta Knight's. But of course, that was a lame way to have a reunion, so King Dedede brought everyone together into a burly group hug. Nobody objected to this.
"...We're going to have to stop this soon, though..." Lucario had to regretfully point out. "If we stay together for any longer... bad things may happen."
"Forget about it for now." Falco said. "Just enjoy this sappy moment."
"Enjoy it indeed." The Ancient Minister said. "After all, this will be the last sappy moment you have together."
While that may be true, the robot said it in a rather ominous way. A way ominous enough that it aroused suspicion. King Dedede looked at him, his grip on the others loosening. "What do you mean?"
"Something is already happening. It happened the moment all four of you came together." The Ancient Minister announced quietly. "This is going to be the last chapter of the Normals. This will be the last chapter for all of you."
The group hug quickly dissolved, the hug contributors alarmed. This definitely sounded like a threat. "Minister, what do you mean?" The knight asked, hand reaching for his sword hilt.
"...Have you idiots not read the signs? The fact that I couldn't remember an event that so heavily affected Lucario? The fact that I don't remember this mansion incident? ...The fact that I'm speaking in normal case instead of the "ALL CAPS" your real Minister spoke in?" The Ancient Minister - or rather, his imposter - coldly stated.
"...How the hell are we supposed to see that last part?" Falco asked reasonably.
"Never you mind. You've all fallen into my trap anyway. For so long, I've wanted revenge, but I did not know how. So, I began reading "The Normals" and I found that there was a thread, a thread that you all noticed as well - the longer you four stay together, the more chaos happens around and to you. This is what I call the Protagonist Principle. Protagonists will always be dragged into adventures, even if they're not actively the cause of the adventures. So, I've plotted to bring you all together to invoke the Protagonist Principle - to create the chaos that can destroy you. I've even had this extra, special chapter made for the principle to be invoked narratively." The poser ranted and ranted, floating up ever so slowly, his robotic (?) eyes staring down at the completely alarmed Smashers. "But of course, I needed to disguise myself too... in fact, this isn't eVeN mY rEaL vOiCe."
With that, the imposter finally decided to show his true self. The robot eyes popped out, revealing themselves to be nothing more than LED lights that smashed themselves on the ground. The winter clothing began unraveling, and it became apparent that its purpose was for much more than to befit a festive occasion. The heavy clothing had done a good job at hiding the identity of the true villain, a being made out of wood, markings on his face.
'WeLcOmE tO hElL." The Puppit King greeted, raising his revolver toward them, cackling.
And more cackling came from around the Normals. Puppits started floating out of the darkness, having arrived at the false studio. There was no evidence that they were there beforehand - it truly was this, "Protagonist Principle" at work.
Falco raised his own blaster up at the Puppit King. "Hold on, I destroyed you!"
"I aM bUt A sPiRiT iN a WoOdEn ShElL. wE aLl ArE." The Puppit King announced. "As LoNg As I hAvE hAtE iN mY hEaRt... As LoNg As YoU aLl ReMaIn PrOtAgOnIsTs, I wIlL bE tHeRe. We AlL wIlL. uNtIl ThE dAy YoU aLl DiE - aNd LeT's HoPe ThAt DaY iS tOdAy."
Falco jumped out of his way to dodge the oncoming revolver shot, shooting his own blaster back. The laser shots managed to singe the side of the Puppit King's body, but that was all he succeeded in doing. Meta Knight unsheathed his sword and slashed at the oncoming Puppits, breaking them apart while Dedede smashed them with his hammer and Lucario punched through them with aura and fist. Wooden body parts and fragments hit the ground, but more of the demon puppets kept coming. Lucario looked into the darkness with his aura enhanced eyes, and a look of despair took over him. "There... there's too many!"
"AnD wE wIlL kEeP cOmInG, eVeN iF wE'rE dEfEaTeD tOdAy!" The Puppit King declared. He started floating toward Falco, clawed hand outstretched. The avian got into a stance, ready for some hand to hand combat.
But much like the whole premise, the attack was a ruse. The wooden king simply flew past Falco altogether and instead raked his claw against King Dedede. The penguin, who had been doing a good job at crowd control, dropped his hammer and hunched over in pain. This of course meant that more Puppits were coming through toward them. Before the Puppit King could go for another attack, Lucario scared him away with a fully charged aura ball.
"Dedede, we're going to be okay!" Falco reassured. He would have liked to go over to help him, but the emergence of Puppits from his side kept him from doing so.
"...We can't do it." A completely despaired Lucario said, staring blankly. "They keep coming... and coming... stretching on into... forever..." The Pokemon completely lost himself, his eyes seeing into forever and triggering him to go into a self-induced trance. "It... it can't be real, maybe I'm hallucinating again..."
"No, we're not in that room, Lucario! You're okay! We'll all be, just - fucking go away!" He shouted at the Puppits trying to claw at him, responding with swift kicks.
"We... we really are doomed though..." King Dedede moaned, regretting buying into the blatant trap of "free corn dogs".
"No... we really are going to be okay. Don't you remember what the narrator said?" Meta Knight stated.
Huh?
"There's going to be an event much later in canon that involves me - and Dedede, you somehow remember it despite it not happening yet, so you must live on to that point too. If both of us survive -" Meta Knight faced the crowd of Puppits courageously. "That must mean that we all will!"
"H...hey, you're right." Dedede admitted. Despite the cut against him, he got to his feet, grasping his hammer. "We will survive! For the timeline!"
"Yeah, we can't die to some minor villain!" Falco declared, punching a Puppit with new vigor.
"I... I can see now..." Lucario murmured, coming back to lucidity. "They are numerous... but they aren't infinite." His eyes sensed a sudden movement to the side and he hopped back as a revolver bullet pierced the ground he used to be standing on. "We can do this! We can fight!"
The Puppit King looked at his minions with annoyance. Or at least, as much annoyance as a wooden face can express. "IgNoRe ThAt TaLk AbOuT cAnOn - NaRrAtIvE lAw Is NoNsEnSe!"
"...YoU uSeD iT tO fIgUrE oUt HoW tO sEt Up ThIs PlAn." One of his minions pointed out.
The Puppit King casually shot him, to the fear of the other Puppits. "AtTaCk Or DiE!"
The Puppits all launched themselves at the Normals, to please their king. This time however, the Normals were fighting with passion and renewed strength - even the injured King Dedede swung his hammer with brutal force. One thing was driving them all and it was the future - the future that confirms that they should all still be alive. There were many Puppits, but one by one fell, either through aura, through sword, through hand to hand, and through a giant hammer to the face.
And soon, there was only one.
The Puppit ruler floated alone, surrounded by the broken limbs of his minions scattered on the floor. The group that was known as the Normals all faced him. The Puppit King knew that even with his elite status, he couldn't possibly take them on in a straight fight.
So he started flying away, firing his revolver wildly behind himself as he tried to get away, to get to safety so that he may harass the group for yet another day. The Smashers all ducked, avoiding the volley.
Despite that however, King Dedede refused to let him get away. "This is for earlier!" Dedede shouted, getting to his feet. He summoned a Gordo from hammer space and proceeding to hit it with his hammer like a golf ball toward the retreating enemy. The spiky ball bounced along the studio ground, crushing the wooden limbs that it landed on, heading fast toward the Puppit King, who couldn't dodge fast enough -
The Puppit King exploded into a mess of body parts, its head skittering across the floor, useless and losing consciousness. "I... i MaY hAvE lOsT tOdAy, BuT i ShAlL rIsE aGaIn! HaHaHaHaHaHa..."
He kept cackling and cackling until he went silent.
King Dedede beamed triumphantly. At least until the injuries took its toll and he fell over unconscious. Whoops.
—-
"We'll get there in five minutes, hang tight Dedede." Falco announced, behind the controls of his Landmaster.
After Dedede had collapsed, his former friends worked together to bring him to Falco's Landmaster so that they can get a speedy trip back to the Smash Castle. Meta Knight had his cape wrapped around Dedede's injury while Lucario tried to put him at ease as the penguin made pain-filled moans.
"...So, I suppose that after we drop Dedede off... we separate, then?" Lucario asked, voice sounding sad.
"It's the way it has to be. Assuming that this Protagonist Principle is real, I don't want to drag you guys into my mishaps." Meta Knight said.
"...This is goodbye again, eh?" Falco said, not looking back at them. "...It was nice to see you guys again, ya know?"
"Same. Even though we won't be together again, I hope that you all have great futures." Lucario stated.
Dedede made a choking noise.
It wasn't generated by pain, but rather it came with his own tears.
"...This is a sad way to end a crack story." Meta Knight murmured.
"Yeah." Everyone else agreed.
And so, the rest of the Landmaster ride was in total silence.