(Harry) Tom's undercover operation was a mixed success. We stopped Major Curtis, so that part was successful but at what cost? I had to give the kill order and a decorated British officer was shot dead-on my order. No one else was responsible for his death; just me and I'm finding it harder to make those choices. Even though Ruth looked stoic, I could feel her horror as she watched that man shot dead. What must she think of me now?
The team had a surprise birthday party for me on the grid after the close of the op and Tom asked me for a chat. We argued about the kill order—who gave it and why. I warned him that he got too close to the subject and that there was no room for personal feelings in this job. He argued back saying that "yes, I have personal feelings" to which I responded, "well, bury them!" Do I really believe that there is no place in this job for personal feelings? I used to think that. Now, I'm not so sure.
(Ruth) I thought that Zoe did a good job taking Tom's place running the operation. I hated the outcome though. I hate it when anyone loses their life even though it seemed like Major Curtis was going to blow the oil depositories. To actually see him being shot was horrible and I don't know how Harry sleeps at night. Then maybe Harry doesn't sleep well. How can he make those decisions for so many years and not have it make him dead inside? I don't think I could do it really, could I?
(Ruth) Trying to stop a Columbian drug cartel and find their armory proved to be a dreadful experience for all of us this week. Tom and Zoe were able to befriend the girlfriend of the cartel's leader and got some useful intelligence but at a horrible price. The young woman died because she became entangled in our world and we were unable to protect her. We should have been able to protect her but bloody Tessa Phillips told the chairman of Petcal oil that the woman was giving MI-5 information. We knew that there was a leak in our section and had a difficult time finding out who it was; turns out it was Sam, acquired as a sleeper asset during her MI-5 training by Tessa herself. Harry was livid. There is definitely some very bad blood between Harry and Tessa, that much is clear, but I don't know why they hate each other so much. I certainly don't want to ever be on the receiving end of Harry's anger. His words can cut as deep as knife when he's really pissed. Harry chewed out Tom at the end of the operation too saying he didn't like what he was seeing happening in Tom. To tell the truth, I don't either. Something is not right with him.
(Harry) I absolutely hate it when we have to use innocent people to our own ends, mostly because they are the ones who usually end up getting hurt or worse. That happened here. Tom told us that when Rafa found out his girlfriend was giving information to us, he stabbed her in such a way that she slowly bled to death. I feel horrible. And what makes it even worse is that the information about the girl was leaked from the office by one of our own—Sam. Sometimes I wonder if that girl has 2 brain cells to rub together, taken in by the witch Tessa during training. Stupid, stupid girl. Topping it all off, Tom challenged me in a team meeting after the op was over. I know the death of the girl was a less than satisfactory outcome of using her. I know that. The fact the Petcal chairman gets off without a blemish because he has friends in high places of the British government is horrendous too. This is our job and much of the time it skirts over the immoral line and I hate that but I have to move on and so does Tom. I do not like what I'm seeing in him. Something is not right with him.