Disclaimer: All Mass Effect and Elder Scroll characters belong to their respective creators.

A/N - Thank you very much for the reviews! Probably (maybe) going to change the update schedule from once a week to twice a week. Once again, thanks for reading~

And yes, because of the xenophobic beliefs of the galaxy, there are mostly Turians in C-Sec at this time.

Chapter 2 - The Madness

The Citadel, Southern Ward Year 2183- 0735

Who does this man think he is? Some sort of god? Nihlus thought to himself.

Sheogorath's grin exploded into a hearty laugh. "Jolly good guess. But only half right," he gave a small courtesy at the questioning turian. "I'm a mad god. The Mad God, actually. It's a family title. Gets passed down from me to myself every few thousand years."

Saren glanced at a wide-eyed Nihlus and back at Sheogorath. "How did you know what he was thinking?"

"It's a habit," he shrugged. "Most of the mortals who meet me either A. Question my existence and then offer me their innards, or B. I have to rip it out of them." Nihlus shook off his astonishment and aimed his gun.

"Oh stow it, bronze buttercup. As much as I would love to gut your guts, I have places to go. Cheese to meet. People to eat."

A C-Sec guard raised his pistol and growled. "Stay where you are, human."

Sheogorath raised an eyebrow and inspected the cop. "Do tell me, are all the dinosaurs in the universe as rude as you, or are you just angry because your mistress left you for some street rat."

A dark blue color surged the turian's face as he tried to keep his sub-harmonics in check. "How- W-what... She-"

"Ooh! That's a lot of money!" he grinned. "Down to y'r last coin? Feisty little lass, wasn't she?"

The surrounding C-Sec guards gaped at the sputtering turian. One approached him from behind and patted his shoulder. "Tervius... Is that true? You said she passed away during a mission."

"I- She did! Don't listen to the human! He's lying!"

"Now now, no need to be a sputtering lunatic," he laughed. "Though I supposed you earned that personality by sleeping with another whose name differs from y'r little memory."

Completely furious at his exposed secret, the Turian aimed his gun directly at the Prince's head.

"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!"

Positively beaming at the result of his poking, Sheogorath gave wide smile. "Oh? Did you not want people to find out that y'r wife's sister's a good-"

Another C-Sec guard tried to bull rush the turian, but it was too late. The shot was already fired. Calling for a medic, he cuffed the aggressive murderer. After making sure the criminal couldn't move, he looked back up at the human, expecting a corpse. However, he saw the man standing completely still with a bloody bullet hole in the middle of his forehead.

The hearty grin that covered the man's face contorted into a dark smile that he wouldn't wish upon his worst enemies.

"You really shouldn't have done that," he snapped his fingers. "Enjoy the view."

Tervius watched as a green aura quickly envelope his body. One minute he was on the floor, the next, he was kilometers off the ground and underneath him laid a beautiful, golden forest.

"Where-"

That was the last thing the C-Sec guards heard through the comms before they heard a ear shattering scream, then a sickening crunch. A chilling silence crept through the crowd, each person trying to forget the sound they just heard.

"Now, does anyone else want to go stargazing in the Forest of Mania?"

A chain of cringes bellowed throughout the large group, each holding their tongues, lest not to further anger him. The stillness in the air was broken when Saren steeled himself and said, "There must be a reason why you came here."

The malicious smile turned into a haughty smirk as Sheogorath nodded. "Why, indeed there is! There I was, sitting on my throne with a side of cheese, of course. Then suddenly, BAM! I was bored! So I decided to come here."

"Do you really expect me to believe that you came here because you were bored?"squinted Saren.

"It's all up to you to believe the unbelievable believability of the truth," he laughed. "Pray tell, is the king of your kind nearby?"

Nihlus straightened up. "King? You mean the Councillors?" Saren glared at his apprentice to keep his mouth shut.

"Yes!" he pointed at Nihlus. "Those people up in their thingamajigs! There's at least one in every universe. Mind leading me to politely say hello to them?"

Gawking at the mad god, Saren was about to scream a fluent line of profanity-covered no's, but he remembered how fast he managed to pretty much eviscerate the turian. He would be too much trouble to fight against.

"Fine. Follow me."

A guard raised his head and reached out to the Spectre. "No! What are you doing! You can't bring him to the Council!"

"Would you rather face him in combat instead?" Saren growled as he pointed a talon at at the Prince...who was smiling and waving back.

"I thought so," he took a breath and motioned at a pondering Sheogorath. "Come on. What are you-"

"I believe it's time for a celebration!" he sang as he snapped his fingers. Saren watched as another human- who seemingly appeared out of nowhere came into view. Lacking fur compared to the broader, much more eccentric man, he wore a frilly black outfit with a tinge of red. Unlike Sheogorath, the man looked duller, and more sullen, with eyes dripping monotony.

"Haskill! Cheese for everyone!" clapped Sheogorath. " Wait, scratch that. Save the cheese and bring out the strawberry tarts. Would anyone fancy a strawberry tart?"

A blank face crossed between everyone's face as a silence rolled in.

"What kind of universe is this if you haven't heard of a tart. A TART!" he yelled, raising a fist into the air. "THIS IS BLASPHEMY HASKILL, ISN'T IT!?"

The lean man merely sighed lethargically. "Yes sire. It is indeed blasphemy."

"I have just the solution for this!" squealed Sheogorath as his body radiated a green glow. Saren stared up at the blue sky, slowly turning into a stormy one.

The artificial sky isn't supposed to be able to turn gray he thought. Before he could tell the man to stop, he felt a light tap on his head. Shaking his head rapidly, he saw a tiny, red pie slide down a mandible.

"You get a tart, and you get a tart, everyone gets a strawberry tart!" laughed Sheogorath who was spinning and pointing his fingers at everybody.

"FOR THE LOVE OF SPIRITS, CAN WE JUST GO ALREADY!?" roared Saren. The spinning man abruptly stopped, the gray clouds dissipating. Oh hell. I didn't just invoke his fury, did I?

"How rude. You dare interrupt me? Only I interrupt me. Just like that! And then. And- Oh bother. Since you all have strawberry tarts, I believe it's time to leave this boring place behind!"

"You can scurry along now Haskill." nodded Sheogorath. "I'm off to see the Councillors!"

"Yes my lord," replied the apathetic man, before disappearing in a blink of an eye.

Saren gave a long sigh. This was supposed to be a normal day.