Location: Heads' Common Room
WEEK TEN of 7th YEAR
It was about five o' clock on a Saturday in mid November when James came out of his dorm room. He was dressed to impress, with a black button down and slacks. I smiled at his muggle clothing, although I knew it just for Haley (being a half-blood, she always insisted on him wearing muggle clothing as much as possible. This was about the only thing for which I gave her credit).
"Hi James. What are you up to?"
"I have a date, as you can probably guess." He nervously adjusted his bow tie, which made my heart beat creep up.
"You look nice. Where are you going?"
"Something a little ways from Hogsmeade. I got special permission, being the head boy and all." I nodded at him and turned back to my charms book. I was attempting to seem supportive, but I knew my face was easily read. It was best not to give him the chance to read my cracking heart.
"Why aren't you hanging out with Mary or Sirius tonight?" He asked. I looked back up at him.
"Well, they both asked if I wanted to, but I said I'd prefer to finish this essay." He gave me a slightly disbelieving look, but thankfully let it go. In all honesty, I knew this night was going to end up depressing no matter how or whom with I spent it. In actuality, I was going to spend the night attempting to come to terms with the fact that I would never be with James how I wanted. It was only fair. He, after all, had to do the same with me back in the day. It was a lot harder than I ever gave him credit for. It was easier to understand his persistence now that I understood persistent feelings.
"In all honesty, how do I look, Lily?" James asked. For some reason, he seemed more on edge and nervous than usual. I smiled up at him, and forced my voice to stay at it's natural level.
"Very handsome." He nodded at me, and then jumped a perceptible distance when there was a knock on the door. He rushed over to it, and opened the door to see Haley. Once again, the sight of her made my self confidence plummet. I was in an oversized T-Shirt, baggy shorts, and my hair was in a messy bun. She was in a skimpy, skin tight, black dress with six inch heels. James smiled largely at her, took her hand, and left without a backward glance. I tried to steady my breathing, but my body refused to stop the tears from falling. Eventually, I just let them fall as I finished my homework. I unconsciously took a long time finishing and perfecting all my essays. I wanted to see him when he got back, and ask him about how his night was, like a best friend should. If I was going to play the part, I might as well do it correctly. But the day kept slipping by, and the night had come in full force. Finally, I was forced to accept the fact that absolutely no one stayed up that late just snogging, and he might not be coming back until morning. I vacated the couch that I had been inhabiting for a good five hours and made my way to my room, all the while cursing my heart for choosing him to love.