Disclaimer: All Mass Effect and Elder Scroll characters belong to their respective creators.

A/N - Sorry for the slow chapter, been having a slight problem thinking about the confrontation with the head honchos. Meh.

Anywhoozles,

Thank you very much for the follows, faves, and reviews! You guys are the best~

Edit: Oh carp. I just realized the error in the title. Embarrassingly fixed few hours later ;u;. Let's pretend that never happened, shall we?

Chapter 3 - The Drunk

The Citadel, Purgatory Year 2183 - 2230

As Nihlus walked in, he was expecting a night filled with amorous, dancing bodies. He did not expect to see his teacher, face down on a table, in the corner of the room. After balancing the pros and cons of a drunken Saren, he approached him, taking note of the numerous bottles scattered by the area.

"What are you doing here?"

Rather than lift up his aching head from the table, Saren gave a low grunt that could barely have been heard through the heavy bass of the place. "Nihlus."

"How long have you been here?" he asked, sitting down next to him. "Last I saw you, you were bringing that weird human to the Councillors."

Growling at the word human Saren lifted his head to grab another bottle, only to be stopped by Nihlus. "Hey now, I think you've had enough."

Saren merely glared at him and tilted to bottle to find out that it was empty. Throwing it down next to him, he sighed faced down on the table again.

Nihlus lifted his feet up onto the table. "So, what happened?"

He waited a few minutes before hearing Saren grumble something about the Councillors and anal insertions. Huh. It was so bad he resorted to human idioms.

Saren lifted his head from the table, gave a long, hefty sigh, and stared into a blank space in front of him.

(Earlier) The Citadel, Citadel Tower - 0900

If I'm going to hear the words cheese and intestine one more time...

"Oh, chin up," sang the one next to him. "You know, rather than standing here like the buffoon you are, we could be frolicking with severed limbs while taking a gander at passing lilies."

And there's the crazy insults.

Saren turned to him. He had to say something before the madman could make him go insane. "I need to know more about you before I introduce you to the Councillors."

Raising an eyebrow, Sheogorath stopped tap dancing and stared at the turian. "I do believe you told me that we were going to see them."

"I did. And we are. I would just like to have some more information about your profession while we wait. Daedric Prince, you said?"

"Indeed I am! Lord of Cheese, Duke of Queso, and Bishop of Fromage. Nice to meet ya."

Saren glared as his translator repeated the same word thrice. "I don't think cheese has anything to do with being a Daedric Prince."

In mock horror, Sheogorath raised his hand to his chest. "Why! The gall! I should have you maimed for that! Buuuuut if you ask nicely and say please, I'll tell you all about beautiful moi."

Saren took a step back from the man fluttering his eyelashes. "Wh-NO! Forget it! We can just sort out this mess once the council gets here."

A pregnant silence trickled between them and Saren saw the man give a slight smirk. "Ooh, this one is going to be more fun than his brother..."

Saren nearly broke his neck at the speed he turned his head. "What about my brother?"

"Saren Arterius. What is the meaning of this meeting."

Saren looked straight up to an asari who glowed with indigo grace. Back straight, Councillor Tevos protruded an arrogant but accommodating aura. To her left was a pale salarian who wore ridiculously red and blue colors. Out of the three, Saren disliked Councillor Valern the most due to his passion to declare wars as finished, without thinking about other variables. Yes, this one is going to be the death of everyone, unlike the one right of Tevos. The earth colored turian who wore his white markings with pride always seemed to put Palaven in the spotlight of niceties. Despite being a bit too prideful when others confronted his claims, Councillor Sparatus always seemed to have his head on straight when it came to battles or humans. If someone is publicly against human expansion, that person was okay in Saren's book.

"Councillors, this is Sheogorath. he appeared from a hole in the sky," Saren motioned to the man to walk up to the podium.

"Saren," boomed Sparatus. "You do know, if we hadn't read the reports, we would have retracted your Spectre status and deemed you mentally unfit for duty."

"Yes! The fact that you didn't restrain him when he arrived is a warning sign of your mental instability, Saren!" cried Valern.

If that insect doesn't die from old age soon, I'm going to murder him myself. With a spoon.

Sheogorath gave a quiet snort, raising an brow-plate from Saren.

Tevos stared at Sheogorath and clapped her hands behind her back. "So, Sheogorath, how do we know that you are not a terrorist hell bent on ruining Citadel space."

He gave a wide smile and bowed. "All I would like to do is to travel around this universe, spreading the joy of madness everywhere I went."

Valern stood up straight and pointed at him. "This is ludicrous! Saren! Restrain this man and-"

"Not do anything," bellowed Tevos with glassy eyes. Everyone turned to look at her and took a step back.

"Tevos, what do you mean 'not do anything'!? This man is clearly insane and requires incarceration!" argued Sparatus.

"Look at him, both of you. What do you see?" Tevos motioned to Sheogorath. "Other than his eccentric wear, he is perfectly capable of blending in with the Citadel community."

Huh? thought Saren.

"Are you mad!?" shouted Tevos, turning towards Sheogorath. "This man is- is certainly a perfect example of salarians everywhere."

What? Saren turned to an uninterested looking Sheogorath who was whistling. Is this his doing?

"Both of you are deranged!" Sparatus exclaimed, slowly turning to Sheogorath.

Saren broke out of his military pose and hurriedly raised a hand. "Wait! Don't-"

"This man is the- the epitome of military tacticians. In fact, he should accompany Saren through all of his missions."

Saren gawked at the turian councillor. I am not hearing this properly. I must still be affected by that grenade from the mission earlier.

"Didn't we have a brand new ship that was created by your race and humans, Sparatus?" asked Tevos.

Sparatus nodded. "Actually, we were going to send it out on a test run."

Valern tapped his chin for a bit then nodded. "Perhaps our guest could accompany the ship to its destination. He did say that he wanted to travel the galaxy."

"That would be most correct, dear Councillor." smiled Sheogorath.

A moment of silence spread between the Councillors until they all whispered within one another and nodded. "Arterius. You are to escort our visitor through the trip on the ship and assist him with whatever he wishes."

Saren mandibles dropped as he stared at the trio. "THIS IS INSANE!"

All three took a startled step back."You have your orders Spectre."

"I have other missions that require my attention immediately!"

"Consider this your highest priority. All others will be spread out between the other Spectres."

"I have a student who's in the middle of their candidacy!"

"Consider them a full fledged Spectre."

"You can't! You must consider my point of view in this matter!"

"How is he in battle, Arterius?"

"He is competent-"

"How is he in tactics, Arterius?"

"He is adequate in-"

"Then it is settled, your student will be a Spectre, effective immediately. If you wish to argue about it more, we will void your status."

Saren silently glared daggers.

"It is settled then. Sheogorath, your ship will be in Dock 22 and will set out tomorrow at 0700. We bid you good day."

Sheogorath slowly turned to Saren with a wacky grin and danced his way out of the tower. Saren just stood still and stared up at the area the Councillors stood. Shaking, he gripped his hands, talons shredding his skin, and screamed.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FU-"

The Citadel, Purgatory Year - 2245

"Wait wait, back up. I'm a Spectre?" Nihlus questioned wide eyed. His mentor laid back on the table and grunted.

"HOLY SHIT! I DID IT!"

Saren kicked his ex-student off the couch, but Nihlus didn't care how his fringe bent painfully while he was upside down on the ground. This isn't how your normally supposed to gain your Spectre status but who cares? I DID IT!

"I have to go and celebrate!" he patted Saren's back. "Don't worry buddy. Your human's going to be with you all the way."

Saren growled and lazily threw whatever was in his hand at him. Nihlus evaded with ease and laughed as his omni-tool glowed with an alert. "Well well! No ceremony but I did receive my mission, so all's good!"

"Get lost." grumbled Saren. Nihlus smiled and began to walk away to read his letter.

Saren sat up and looked at his ex-protogé. "Nihlus."

"Hm?"

"Don't die."

"Will do, Saren." he smiled, leaving his teacher to his alcoholic mess.

Not paying attention to the waiter cleaning around him and putting down more glasses, Saren gave a resounding sigh and stared at the ceiling. He closed his eyes for a bit, before raising his gun at an Asari trying to seduce him. "You look a bit stressed love. How bout I loosen those pants for you?"

Saren gave a slow blink and stared down at his slacks. Oh why not.