So... hi there. It's been awhile. Sorry about that. I feel awful, I do. But I'm back! So hopefully you'll all forgive me? Quick shout out to avmbookworm for being my beta this chapter! Thank you! And I guess y'all have waited long enough. I hope you enjoy. Rate. Review. Comment. Criticize. Suggest. I do not own the Titans. Thanks,
DeadlyRedAlice
xoxo
I felt calm and relaxed. The sun was bright as it shined down on the beach, the warm sand a bed beneath me. My breathing seemed to be in time with the sound of the waves going in and out , and I could hear Cecelia and Darla laughing and splashing around in the water. I kept my eyes closed to avoid blinding myself. It felt… perfect.
A shadow passed over me and my friends' laughter shifted to a couple of deep chuckles and a high-pitched giggle. The shadow moved and I heard someone plop down next to me. I opened one eye to find a shirtless Robin sitting next to me, dark sunglasses in place of a mask. His hair and skin were practically sparkling with the water droplets that clung to him. He had a small smile on his lips as he watched his friends. It wasn't until he turned to me that I realized I was staring. I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but nothing came out.
"You seemed lonely," he said, gazing down at me as I stared at him blankly.
"What?" I asked stupidly. He laughed, his smile large, and toothy, and real, making me want to laugh right along with him.
"You were just sitting here by yourself. I wanted to make sure you weren't lonely," he explained, his tone light and caring. And at that moment I really did wish that I was . . . Raven . . .
The sun vanished behind dark, foreboding clouds and the peals of laughter disappeared, as did their owners. Suddenly Robin was standing in front of me, his gaze no longer light and carefree. Instead he looked like he was staring down at a grave. The water seemed to be rising fast and I couldn't get up. He offered me a hand but I couldn't seem to lift my arm up to reach him.
The water was up to my ankles.
"Help me," I pleaded. He just continued to stare soberly down at me.
"I can't. You've closed yourself off from me. I can't reach you," he answered, his voice sounding like it was coming from all directions, making my head pound.
The water had reached my thighs.
"Please!" I struggled to move, to reach him. He didn't even blink an eye.
"I already told you, I can't help you unless you let me," he replied stonily.
"I am trying to. Please help me!" I begged.
The water was at my waist.
I continued struggling, but before I knew it the water was at my neck. I was going to drown. And Robin was just going to stand there and watch. He knelt down closer, his eyes empty and calculating.
"Think of me Raven. Let me in. Stop shutting me out. I want to help you. I do. So think of me," he said simply, his voice calm. His head tilted a little as if he was waiting for me to respond. Unfortunately, my first response was to yell at him that I was not Raven, but I managed to swallow that down and put the rising water out of my mind. I thought of the way he smiled at me excitedly after his bike exploded. I thought of the defeated look he had when I told him that I wanted to be left alone. Somewhere in the back of my mind I recognized that the water had already reached my mouth and was about to cover my nose, sentencing me to my death, but I ignored it and thought of the strongest thing I could think about. I thought about his eyes, the way the erased all my thoughts when he took off his sunglasses. That blue that is so bright and beautiful and open that it shouldn't be allowed. Those eyes that stared at me so freely and openly, filled with hope and concern and care.
The water was gone.
I was standing in a square room with windows instead of walls. Wait. No. They were mirrors. Not windows. I stared at myself, my blonde hair hugging my face messily. My eyes were wide, my mouth slightly agape. But I wasn't wearing my pajamas. I mean, the style was the same, but instead of the wacky mismatch colors, the shorts and shirt were bright orange, like the color of a prison jumpsuit. I don't really know how I got from the beach to there and how my bathing suit changed but I was just glad to be alive.
A voice behind me made me jump and I turned to the other mirror.
"This is wrong," the voice said. My eyes widened even more as I faced the other mirror. The girl inside mirrored my expression. She was pale with cropped purple hair that hung straight and her eyes were entirely white. She was wearing a white turtleneck unitard, her legs almost as pale as her outfit. She had white ankle boots on and she mirrored my every move perfectly.
"What is wrong?" I asked, watching her say the same words to me. Then she actually moved, no longer mirroring me.
"Everything. Can't you feel it?" she answered, her voice exactly the same as mine.
"Can't you feel it?" I spun around to face the mirror on my right. In that one stood Robin as dashing as ever, his lips tilted down in a small frown. He was no longer shirtless and wet, now wearing a white t-shirt and white jeans and white shoes. He had no mask on, or sunglasses, but his eyes were completely white, like the girl's were. It was like he was somehow still masking them even though I knew what his beneath the mask.
"Feel what?" I questioned him. He stared at me before sighing.
"This is wrong," he replied in unison with the girl. They were both staring at me. I backed up against the last mirror, seeing the real me doing the same. I looked at my real reflection, seeing the fear in my eyes. What was going on? What was wrong?
"Something is different," Robin said. "You did something. You are distant now." Distant. The word brought of spark of recognition, but I couldn't remember from where.
"What did you do?" the girl asked. "This is wrong."
"They are lying. Don't listen to them," a familiar voice said behind me. … Who owned that voice? Oh yeah! Dr. Payne! I turned to face him, to ask him what was going on and almost screamed. It wasn't Dr. Payne standing in the mirror. There wasn't an actual person standing in that mirror. It was black. The whole mirror was just an abyss of black that isomeone could get lost in, and they would never be able to get out. And in the center, one set of large, glowing red eyes glared back at me. A wicked smile with pointed sharp teeth spread out under the eyes, reminding me of a rated R version of the Cheshire cat.
"This is wrong. Very wrong! What did you do?" Robin and the girl were asking, gradually getting louder, the same time the wicked smile was yelling, "Don't listen to them!" I backed up against my reflection, slipping and landing on my butt, my back up against the mirror. They were all screaming at me now. Screaming and screaming and screaming. Over and over again. I closed my eyes and covered my ears, wishing them all away, but they just got louder. The room was shrinking. They were getting closer. I was trapped. Trapped forever.
A whole week passed blissfully uneventful… Though there were moments that I felt a bit bored and restless, though those moments were fleeting and always right before I took my medicine. I also seemed to always wake up either sweating, or crying, or both, but I couldn't figure out why. I mean, I was pretty sure it was my dreams that were the cause, but the second I opened my eyes, I couldn't remember a single solitary detail about them.
I sighed.
While the meds were helping with my "visions", my memories still hadn't returned. Suddenly he flashed into my mind. His caring eyes, his full frowning lips, his dark hair falling into his eyes . . . I immediately reached for my prescription, dumping another pill into my palm… except no pill did appear. I looked into the bottle to find it empty. I groaned, dragging myself out of my comfy bed, somehow making it to my closet. I would just throw on some clothes and run to the Doctor's office to replenish my meds. Unfortunately, without them, images of certain odd people kept me from relaxing. I kept seeing the green boy's sweet eyes, the robot guy's large hand enveloping mine, the tall girl's voice in time with mine . . . and Robin's blue eyes, those vulnerable eyes who have seen too much pain and heartache.
I got to Dr. Payne's office to find all the lights off inside. Were they closed? Shouldn't they put up a sign or something? They didn't even have anything saying the times they were actually opened.
Just as a last ditch effort I tried the door . . . and surprisingly enough, it opened. Before I could question it, I let myself in, quietly closing the door behind me. I could faintly hear hushed tones somewhere in the back and figured since they have always been friendly to me, they would be fine with me just walking back. The tones began to form voices, one of them clearly Dr. Payne, the other unrecognizable. I could barely make out what they were saying.
"Do you have any more yet?" I heard Dr. payne saying, "I'm sure she'll be running out soon and she needs a steady dose or it's all for –"
"Nothing! I know you dimwit! I'm working on it," the mystery man interrupted, sounding very frustrated. I felt very uncomfortable, standing there awkwardly. I also had a small inkling that they were talking about me. . . That's a good thing, right? I mean, he is trying to get the medicine that should help me. So I should stop standing around and just go in, right? I made it about two steps when another door opened near me, a hand clamped over my mouth, an arm sneaking swiftly around my waist, yanking me back through the door as I helplessly struggled. He shut the door silently behind us, letting go of my waist, though even as he moved in front of me, he kept his hand on my mouth.
"Shhh, I'm going to let go and turn on a light. You can't make nay noise, okay?" he explained softly and slowly. I barely managed to nod, but it wasn't because of the fear. Oh no. I knew that voice the moment he shushed me.
A small light slightly brightened the room, enough for me to see him only a foot or so in front of me. I kept quiet like I was told to, but I don't think I could've made a sound even if I tired. He quietly locked the door, giving me a small, boyish, shy grin that made me blush. I'm in a dark, locked room, alone, with Robin. I am in a dark, locked room with Robin. I am alone with Robin. In a locked room. Just the two of us. That was all that seemed to process until I heard another door creak open in the hall and light streamed in under the door, reminding me of what had been happening right before I was snatched into the dark, now locked, room with Robin, or rather, by Robin. Footsteps moved out into the hall and stopped.
"Did you hear something?" Payne's company asked, his voice nervous and antsy, and closer than it had been previously. Robin was already looking around the room for something, probably a way out. I just stood there, frozen, my head and heart pounding, louder and louder. Payne said something back that I couldn't quite hear over my pounding head and his companion went back into the other room.
"Okay, we need to ta. . . " Robin was saying, but I suddenly couldn't hear him anymore. In fact I couldn't see him either. All I could sense was how loud and painful my head was. I wanted to scream, to yank my head off, anything to stop the pain. But I didn't have to. Suddenly, there was silence . . . and blackness . . . lots of blackness . . .
I know it's a bit short, but I have exciting ideas for the next chapter, which will be longer and you won't have to wait almost a year for it. Once again, sorry. Now my reviews(though I'm sure you don't even remember what you said in the reviews...) :
To SladeRavenFan: See, I've been conflicted with that myself, the whole vision thing. The only defense I have is that, the life of a Titan is pretty unbelievable and even with unexplainable visions, when you know nothing of who you are, it would be hard to imagine yourself as Raven. But that is just how I feel. I don't know yet. Still working through kinks.
Yeah, Dr. Payne is... something else, even more so I think after this chapter. But we'll see.
Thank you, the flashbacks are sometimes my favorite part to write. And I agree, because I actually do like Starfire and I enjoy the relationship she and Raven shared in the show, and I find it frustrating that, when it comes to most RobRae fics, people tend to get rid of it all together.
To Waterpokemon: It came out a little under a year ago, but yes the Dark Knight Rises is a phenomenal movie and one of my favorites. I could honestly probably watch it over and over.
To Juniper Night: Thank you. I'm really trying to create an Amy so different from our Raven that it gives her even more of a reason to doubt who she really is. With how average and barbie-ish her Amy life is, Raven is like on the other end of spectrum, which is why Raven cannot bring herself around to believe it.
To Smiles-X-Giggles: Here we go...
Never even thought about the mirror before... it's an interesting idea, might use it later. :)
As I mentioned to SladeRavenFan, I love Starfire and Raven's relationship. It was beautifully developed in the show and it saddens me that in many stories, especially RobRae ones, that friendship is completely thrown away like it never happened.
Glad you liked the flashback. :D I love writing those.
Bahahaha I'm getting that vibe from most people about Payne. And when it comes to me, I like to add little... stuff. in there, so if something seems intentional, you probably aren't reading to much into it. ;)
I like your emotions theory. To be honest, I'm not directly going for that, but her emotions have always been a huge part of her for me, so yeah, I guess you could say they are definitely fighting back.
And you are welcome in advance. Just you wait for what I have in store for the next couple of chapters. RobRae fans will (hopefully) be in their glory. ;D
Shorter than usual, I'm getting better at not rambling. :)
To DyingWarrior: Truly, thank you so much. And as for the other part, just you wait. ;)
To 13DeadSilence13: Just you wait, I have wondrous plans that I am super excited for. xD
To DarkAngelRaven: So do I still get a virtual tiger even though it's super late?
To Speedster: Thank you so much, I'm glad you've enjoyed it, and I am so sorry it has taken me so long to update. And I honetly really like your ideas. I might just steal a couple of them. And you are right, we still have some time because when the finale comes, it will be huge. ;D
Also thank you to Angelic Toaster, Lady of Black Millennium, Ouran-Lyoko-Girl, Omnidolor, Jugo de Limon, SailorSea, jabberjawsk, LottyPL, TheRadicalRadish, xXxMariposaXx, Jaybird Whistle, Critique Shell, Sango8368, and jk. I love you all and thank you so much for all the support you have given me.
Rate. Review Comment. Criticize. Suggest.
-DRA
p.s. I really am sorry.