The next following days were in Merlin's own words the most depressing days of his entire life. Merlin knew that he had been through worse, a lot worse. However the previous day with Arthur's rant had got to him deeper than words could express. Every time Gwen or some of his other friends had asked if everything was ok, he forced himself to lie. He couldn't face telling anyone about last night, not even Morgana who hadn't been in the best of moods herself lately.

Morgana had walked around school as if someone had dragged all the life out of her. Whenever anyone asked about Arthur she would either snap at them with pure anger, mumble something so the other person couldn't make out what she had said or had just ignored them completely.

However the most unusual part of all was that Arthur hadn't been at school at all since his rant. Merlin himself had bravely asked where he was which got him the response of, "he overslept".

But as they days kept coming and going Arthur had been 'oversleeping' for a while which only lead to Merlin having deeper thoughts of what Morgana was hiding but more importantly what was going on in the Pendragon family.

Morgause was also another victim of the deep feeling of despair. Since the day Arthur had come back to school Morgause had kept her distance, especially from Morgana and Merlin who refused to acknowledge the fact she even existed. Morgause had also made an effort to avoid any contact with anyone publicly or online, in fear of being verbally and mentally abused. Just as she had done to Arthur.

Morgause clenched her fist as if she was crushing herself to pieces in pure frustration. Tears leaking out of her eyes like an overflowing river in sorrow, the same sorrow that she had to live with since that dreadful day which Catrina was technically responsible for.

But I didn't stop her Morgause thought to herself, tears still rolling down her tear stained cheeks. She forcefully wiped them away with the back of her hand.

I just let it happen and now the whole school is against me and there's nothing I can do. Was another of the whirlwind of thoughts that were spinning around her head, making her feel queasy just by the mention of them.

A deep spark of realisation hit her. This feeling of sorrow, isolation, fear all matches up with Arthur. This is how he must have felt on a daily basis even if he refused to show it to anyone, including himself.

Fresh tears made their way from Morgause's eyes, this time she didn't bother to stop them. I need to get this in the out and open, was Morgause's final thought before closing her eyes and taking a long deep breath.

Like Morgause Catrina had also distanced herself from the public, however nobody knew if it was for the right reasons. This was one of many things people were genuinely afraid of, not knowing when she could strike next. Like a snake with venom. The difference is her weapon consisted of her own poison which she liked to refer to as her voice.

However that wasn't even the worst part of it all.

It was her eyes. Her dark, mischievous brown eyes. Those eyes that could detect weakness in less than a millisecond, the eyes which correctly spelt the word trouble. Her eyes were too many people known as the lasers that zapped every ounce of confidence and happiness out of someone within minutes of contact. It was those eyes that sussed out each opportunity to voice her mission and desires loud and clear, no matter the outcome or the consequences.

And if anyone got hurt in the process, that was just tough.

On the other hand Arthur who was flopped on his bed was holding a photo of himself, Morgana, his father and mother sitting happily by a tree which used to be the spot they went for picnics. Although he could never see the tree for himself he could trace his finger along the photo to at least get a sense of what true happiness felt like. Clutching the photo towards his chest, body shaking and his grip on the photo increasing with every shake.

Slamming the photo on to the little table next to his bed he began pinching at his arm causing it to go a bright red. His blue eyes full of cold tears stinging his eyes that he refused to shed. I'm not going to cry, I won't cry!

Forcing himself to keep the tears at bay Arthur squeezed his eyes shut so hard that when the tears had vanished his eyes screaming out in pain whenever he blinked.

"Why should am I the one who feels like crying instead of those who I've been the permanent burden of for so many years!" Arthur whispered to himself spitefully, spitting out his words as if they were too horrific to say out loud.

Arthur snapped his head around the room, listening out for any signs of sounds or footsteps within the house. Realising that nobody was within hearing distance, Arthur began to whisper under his breath with hatred.

"Oh come on how could I think anyone was even remotely interested in my silly rambles, it's not like my father would absorb my words and be able to make sense of them!" Arthur began to pinch at his arm again, angry red marks appearing on his repeatedly pinched skin.

"He's only in this mess because of me!" Arthur stopped pinching himself for a single second before carrying on, only this time his pinches becoming longer along with the increasing amount of pain.

He's not the only one to bear the burden of my life threatening problems". Arthur's memory instantly took him back to the rant he had practically yelled to Merlin, his eyes burning with fresh hot tears that failed to escape.

Arthur sighed in remorse, "Merlin was different from all the others… he was actually kind, caring and dare it say it lovable. But what do I go and do … I once again be the selfish, angry loathsome human being I am and push him away".

Arthur curled up into the smallest ball he could manage before letting out the tears that had been forced into his eyes for a huge amount of time. His tears trickling down his cheeks, as if all the life was being drained out of him.

"I pushed Merlin away" were Arthur's only words that were repeatedly whimpered out. His entire body now shaking with the fear, regret and the deep guilt that all rushed through him like a tsunami , destroying anything in its path. For Arthur that tsunami was ripping him apart, his happiness along with his confidence mentally and physically disintegrating into dust.

At this point the shaking had ceased a tiny fraction along with his whimpering disappearing into the deafening sound of silence. He had managed to get his breathing under control even if in the inside he was anything but controlled.

"Lets face it, I'm not worth the hassle or the effort of other people's gratitude as I never show anybody my appreciation for it. I have even driven Morgana to a mental breakdown, more than once. She should be out there doing what girls her age do such as sleepovers, trips to the cinema, having a good time with friends. Not hanging around a sour , repulsive pathetic excuse for a human being like me!"

Arthur looked up at the ceiling as if it held the solutions to all his problems, tears continuing to rapidly dribble down his cheeks. He sighed deeply before lying back on his bed.

"I don't know if you can hear me but I am now at the point of my life where I just want to jack it all in. I am physically and mentally drained to the point where I can not go on! But I know that isn't the answer and I don't want to resort to that, but I am at a loss of what to do, please help … please mum" The last word silently whispered out.

Arthur turned to his right hand side, grabbing the photo once more before clutching it to his chest. To never let go. As if to unleash the positive ,lively, cheerful child he had once been.

Letting out a heavily depressed sigh Arthur's eyes began to close, drifting off to the only place he seemed to get along with these days. His grip slightly loosening on the photo before sleep claimed him. The photo swiftly gliding to the floor, the actual photo part facing Arthur as if to tell him something. Something important that would change his life for eternity.