Author's Notes: Standard disclaimers apply. I do not own Sailor Moon or her world.
Thank you all for hanging with me! We're getting somewhere! Of course, I am cruel, being so mean to our lovely gals. I love the reviews! It amazes me that generally I've already had answers ready for the questions you have for me! Thank you for all your wonderful thoughts! So, without further ado...
Setsuna played with her mug absently. "You could have stopped her."
"And said what, exactly?" The bitterness in Haruka's voice surprised her and she traced the lip of her mug with one manicured finger.
"She wouldn't have stopped for me." She wasn't upset, wasn't feeling sorry for herself. It was simply a statement of fact. While Setsuna wasn't convinced she knew the exact relationship between her two companions, she had suspicions. She did, however, know that for them, just as with her, honor and duty meant more than personal desires. She looked up as Haruka pushed the chair away from the table. Her eyes caught green ones, seeing anger and pain.
"I'm sorry, Haruka-san."
"Do you think she's right? Do you think Usagi-chan will exile us to our planets again once she fully awakens?"
"And who would guard the solar system in our absence? We have a duty only we can do." She raised her hand to prevent the blond warrior from arguing. "However, do I think we shall be kept secret? Forbidden to interact? No. I don't believe Usagi-chan is capable of that. Just as I don't think she is capable of demanding Saturn's life."
It was an active choice, risking Uranus's wrath, but better to have her on the offensive than brooding. And far better to focus on her own secrets than to have Uranus attempting to hide the love she and Neptune had for each other. Of the love, Setsuna was certain, it was of the results of that love she was unsure.
The admission provoked the desired reaction. "Yes, let's discuss Saturn. You know, the one that can destroy the entire world." Hands slammed down on the table and Setsuna looked up from the table following the arms to green slits framed in a face that offered no mercy.
"Ask and I will answer. I haven't forgotten the end either. However, in that end, Saturn was one of us. Her vow is the same as ours."
"She shouldn't exist."
Setsuna stood, unwilling to crane her neck any longer. "And yet, she's found a way to be reborn into the same family twice. Tonight, when you and Neptune went to the Princess, I had my own mission. I was finally able to go to the Time Gate."
"Twice?" That Haruka was focused on that part was no surprise. It had taken Setsuna herself by surprise.
"I didn't kill her when we were both effectively civilians. When I went to the Gate, I could see. The Tomoe Hotaru that was born to Tomoe Suuichi years ago and died in the lab with him and his wife was Saturn as well. I knew that Chieko-san had named her daughter after the girl but I only knew the extent of the truth tonight."
"So killing her will mean she gets reborn again?" Setsuna could hear the disbelief in Haruka's voice.
"Our oaths are that strong. So yes, Michiru-san was correct. The rules have changed. They have to."
"But not enough," Haruka muttered.
"No. Not enough." Setsuna wasn't entirely sure precisely what the other woman meant by her statement, but even if it was laced with multiple layers, she was sure it wouldn't matter. She'd suspected her companions had acted on their desires in their past lives, but it had never been her place and she had neither desire nor reason to probe.
"Has Saturn awakened then?"
Setsuna shook her head, not willing to look at her companion. "I'm not sure. If she has, then we must hope her purpose has expanded, just as ours has."
"And if not?"
She chuckled dryly. "Then it is too late for anything but prayers."
"Is it treason? Protecting her? Not returning to our assigned posts now that we have the ability?"
Haruka's head was bowed, the blond bangs hiding her thoughts. As much as she wanted to press, to search her companion for answers, Setsuna knew it would only drive the warrior further from her. With the other half of her private team gone, Uranus was unstable and Setsuna didn't know how much control Haruka offered.
"I don't think so. We were reborn here. Until she no longer needs us, our duty is to her."
Turning, Setsuna cleaned up the mug Michiru had left behind. "Do you think Neptune has it right?"
"Neptune will do what she feels is right."
"And you?" The bland response from her companion was irritating her. There had to be something underneath the woman's calm exterior. Pushing Uranus to react was rarely wise, but Setsuna had to know, for both their sakes.
"I will do my duty." The tone allowed for no further argument. Setsuna nodded.
"Tomorrow, I'll introduce you to Saturn."
The pair was silent for a long moment before Haruka pushed her chair in, drawing Setsuna's attention to her. "You should bring her to the track."
She offered the other woman a sad smile and nodded. "'I'll do that."
##
The light in the kitchenette were still on when Michiru entered. Sighing inwardly, she set her keys on the table and slipped her shoes off. When she wasn't greeted, her steps became more careful. She wanted to call out to her roommate, but after the events of the evening, she wasn't sure that was the best course of action. Fingers twitching for the power of her mirror, she felt the world shimmer before actively pushing it down again. There, on the couch, passed out among her books was Ami. Careful not to wake the younger woman, Michiru smiled and shook her head, stifling the chuckle that threatened to interrupt the silence. With practiced ease born of too many late night study sessions turned sleep overs, Michiru extracted the book from the other's hands and draped a blanket over her. The motherly action stirred a sadness in her she knew she wasn't ready to face.
Once in her room, she picked up her mirror, curling into it on her bed. The weight of her position came crashing down upon her as her mind wouldn't release the image of Ami on the couch with her books. Michiru was quite sure that had the Senshi within the younger girl awoken, she would not have returned to find her asleep. The three Outer Senshi were all the princess had. The rest were not awake and may never wake. Was this what she had given up her dream of performing for? A life of longing and loneliness? She would never have Haruka and when their princess and her guard finally did wake, she would be exiled to her planet again. No matter what Usagi-chan might want, there were rules, laws, taboos. If she did this, she might very well bring more pain to her princess.
A pit formed in her chest, expanding out from there with dark tendrils of horror. Closing her eyes, Michiru could almost feel the sea raging against the darkness. The tighter she closed them, the more her body shook, the darker everything felt. An urge to look in her mirror was quickly squashed by years of training. Looking into mirrors when she was beckoned was bad. It always had been. There were things there that should never be seen. Things she was supposed to know, a part of her countered. Even before finding her Talisman, Michiru had often caught glimpses of things in mirrors, ponds, swimming pools before the surface was rippled and distorted. Once she had it, the images came easier. Finding it had been an odd providence, the results of a vain but naive ten year old shopping with her grandmother in an antiques shop. It was part of a set, and while she kept the boar bristle brush and wide toothed comb that came with, it was the mirror she kept as her constant companion.
Neptune.
The call was stronger, more insistent. Not ready to face the world, the petite woman settled for simply pulling the mirror away from her chest enough to look into it, still curled up in a nearly fetal position on her bed.
In the dark, the mirror reflected shadows. Settled that she had been imagining the request, Michiru began to shift the mirror, laying it down when it flashed. In one smooth motion, she was sitting on her bed, clutching the mirror and staring at it. There, in the reflected glass was her princess, no Usagi-chan, on her knees and crying. Standing above her was Maeda Katashi. She couldn't hear what they were saying, but Michiru could see Usagi remained on the ground shaking as she offered him transformation pens.
The image faded from the mirror, but the after image was burned into her mind. She tried to replay it from different angles, imagining who would have been standing where. Surely they wouldn't have allowed her to confront him on her own. So where had they been? Where were the Outers? Why did it happen that way? Whose pens had been offered? What had caused the transfer in the first place?
Playing with the stick in her hand, an item she knew she'd never needed in her previous life, Michiru sighed. It had appeared in her pocket the moment she'd transformed back to herself, pulsing with the power of her guardian planet. She wondered if she would always need it in this life. She would have to talk to Uranus, and she'd just told the woman they needed to stay as far apart as duty would allow.
"Serenity-sama, is this your idea of punishment?"
Transforming back into Sailor Neptune, she slipped out her window for the second time that night and spent the rest of the night on patrol above Usagi's house. Had things been different between she and Haruka, she might have contacted her. A dry chuckle escaped the warrior's lips from her perch hidden in the tree as she watched the sun rise. There was no might. If things were different, she would not be patrolling alone. An echo of the chuckle threatened to pass her lips. Uranus would not be pleased when she found out. If she found out.
Two parts of one whole. They both knew that. It was why they'd agreed to commit treason before. It had not been a careless choice, nor one they could blame on some passion-blinded heat of the moment. The passion was there, of that neither would deny. But it was acting on it that had been deliberate. And once they had, their actions had become more unified, more directed. They had become a truly unstoppable team. Until the queen had discovered them. Sailor Neptune's eyes closed briefly, hiding tears that threatened to fall from dark blue orbs. No amount of pleading or arguing their case had worked. When they swore their relationship would not change their dedication, the queen had offered the only consolation she deemed appropriate. To forever remain apart. It had been the ultimate test of fealty, one they had both passed. They kept their status, their lives, their honor, at the cost of each other.
The thought brought another and the aqua-haired warrior was loathe to dismiss it as sleep deprived fantasy though she knew that to be the cause. Queen Serenity had a reputation among her civilian citizens, but among the Senshi of the Outer Solar System, she was as cold as she was caring. The warmth was always marred by a firm belief that for the many to prosper, some had to pay the price. They were usually the cost, as they had been when she'd brought them only with enough time to end the Silver Millennium. Never having been among the Guardian Senshi, Sailor Neptune had always presumed they were treated in accordance to what they were, the Princess's favored. What if she had been wrong?
##
Michiru tried to be quiet as she made coffee. Generally, she preferred tea, but having been up for over twenty four hours meant she needed something far stronger for the day.
"Michiru-san?"
Michiru forced Neptune down hard at the sleepy voice. Perhaps coffee was a bad idea if she was that jumpy. "I'm sorry. I hope I didn't disturb you."
"What time is it?"
Michiru chuckled gently as the blue-haired woman came into view, rubbing the remains of sleep out of her eyes. "Not quite half past six. You know, you shouldn't study so hard. A little rest would make it more productive."
"You have no room to talk," the chide was undermined by a yawn. "You practice for hours on end."
"Yet it is a bit difficult for me to practice until I fall asleep." She had meant the retort to come back as a tease but Ami's sleep filled eyes revealed the younger woman was too tired to distinguish the joke. She sighed, "Ami-chan, I'm sorry. I had meant to just tease."
The blue eyes softened and nodded. "You do practice too hard."
"I know. I do almost nothing else these days." Blatant lie, but she hoped it would come out smoothly enough to pass undetected.
"You need to go out more."
She nodded.
"I mean on real dates."
Michiru arched an eyebrow at her room mate but continued to make her coffee, finally taking a sip.
"I mean it. Usagi-chan told me about you and Mamoru-san's friend."
The teal-haired woman looked away, shaking her head. "It isn't that simple. I don't think I can live my life without someone there, but this is Japan and I cannot leave my home." The emotional plea came out with a more shuddering breath than Michiru had realized was there. When she'd spoken, all she had seen was Haruka's face, Uranus' silhouette.
"Michiru-san..."
Shaking her head once more, she turned to face the younger woman, plastering a gentle smile on her face. "Maeda-san is a good man and it may not be him, but there are some dreams one must admit are just that, dreams."
Ami opened her mouth to say something, but closed it just as quickly. The two of them stood there, staring at each other. Michiru hoped the other woman would give up, would relent and allow the illusion to continue. The more she argued the point, the more it hurt, the more she wanted to just take Kunzite to Neptune itself and force him to tell her everything he had planned. She tensed as Ami shook her head.
"I don't like it, but I won't betray you either. Just, don't get hurt. Too badly."
As she nodded, Michiru tasted copper in the attempt to not admit that it was too late for Ami's hope. She was already hurt beyond anyone's hope. That she knew the younger woman hadn't really given up on the subject only made her heart ache more.