Pacifica's delicate fingers started playing with the hem of her dress. While she was sitting on the bathroom floor, the end of the fabric just reached her knees. It was a mindless action but it was something to do. Rubbing her fingers over the lace and stitching until her mind went numb and completely forgot why she was sitting on the tiled floor of her bathroom. She was convinced that this was the only place in the house where Gideon wouldn't dare enter.
She scolded herself for hiding, but so far this was the most privacy that she'd had in a week. Gideon was outside her door every morning and escorted her back to her room every evening. He was with her in the library, the music room, the gardens and the stables. It was bothersome. She told herself that he simply trying to get to know her, but it was overwhelming. Gideon was overwhelming.
She hugged her knees to her chest and let a tear slip down her cheek. She was acting childish, she knew that. Her father would've told her to stand tall and stop acting like this. Just thinking about that made her tears fall more.
A knock on the bathroom door startled her and she desperately wiped away her tears, taking deep breaths to rid of the redness in her cheeks. She stood up and straightened the fabric of her dress. "Come in," her voice came out shaky and echoed off the bathroom wall.
Her maid opened the door with a blank expression on her face. "Miss?"
"Yes?" Pacifica spat out, not wanting her maid to question her current state. She was lucky that the girl was less curious, her brother had no problem asking what was wrong. Even after he knew not to. Though there was something comforting about someone being concerned for her. Her father never took the time to ask about his daughter's emotional state. Her mother never had enough time and she was sure that Gideon wanted nothing to do with a crying girl, even if that girl was his fiancé.
"Gideon requests your presence, he's in the library." Her statement made Pacifica's lip quiver.
"Tell him I will be there soon." The girl nodded and shut the bathroom door.
Pacifica glanced at herself in the mirror before she left the room. Her cheeks were red from crying and her eyes were puffy. She took a deep breath, hoping to rid of the flushed look on her face then left the bathroom and headed down the hall. The trip to the library took far faster than she would've liked, she just wanted to have her mint tea and go to bed. She wanted everything to go back to the way it was before, when she didn't have a fiancé or obligations to see him on a daily basis.
"Good afternoon, Gideon. Was there something you needed?" Pacifica intoned politely as she walked into the library.
"Of course, my apple pie." A wide grin spread across his pale freckled face. "I was wondering what color dress you're going to wear for the engagement party tomorrow night."
She tried her best not to think about the engagement party unless someone brought it up. And when that happened she would her best to change the subject. Her dress had been sitting in her closet for nearly a week, the deep purple fabric constantly reminding her of her imminent and unescapable fate. "Plum."
"Perfect, I just wanted to make sure my suit matched. All eyes are going to be on us tomorrow night, my dear." He grabbed her hand and pulled her toward him. "I'm just so excited, aren't you?" he asked, curiosity obvious in his blue eyes.
She flashed a practiced smile at him, gazing at him with a rehearsed loving look. "Of course," she said in a gentle whisper. "It's impossible to not think about it. But I do feel a bit feverish, I think I'm going to go lay down. I don't want to be sick for the party tomorrow."
"Heavens no, darling." Gideon said with concern though there was a something in his eyes that told Pacifica he knew she was lying. "Rest up," He kissed her hand before she left the room.
Much to Pacifica's discomfort, the next day arrived quickly. She had spent the first four hours of her morning in bed, doing nothing but stare at the ceiling and dread the rest of the day.
"Your bath is ready ma'am." Her maid spoke, snapping Pacifica out of her comatose-like state.
Pacifica acknowledged her statement with a nod and pulled herself up. She threw her covers aside and forced her limbs to get out of bed. She stumbled into the bathroom and was greeted with her usual bath that was filled with lavender oil and rose petals. She peeled off her nightgown and let the scalding water melt away her sleepiness.
A shiver went down Pacifica's spine as her maid finished another one of her braids, carefully pinning it into place. Her hair was in a bun with rows of delicate braids tied into it. There was only one more strand of hair hanging in front of her face. Another five minutes and she would be done. Another five minutes and she would be forced to waltz down to the main hall and greet her guests and stand by her fiancé for hours.
"All done, miss." Her maid said as she pinned the final braid into place.
She let out a shaky breath. This was it. There was no turning back after this. There was no turning back to begin with, she never had an opinion when it came to who she was going to marry. Their wedding would be in two weeks and Pacifica would forever have to wear a ball and chain in her own home. A knock at the door signaling that it was time to go stopped her imminent tears from falling. She turned to her maid and let out a small "Thank you," then prepared herself for the end of her life.
The main hall of the Northwest Manor was alive with people. People from the town and friends of the Gleeful's. Everyone who saw her congratulated her on her engagement then went back to join the party. She felt like she was forced to stay by Gideon the whole night. His arm was around her waist. It felt like his fingers were digging into her side, it made her more uncomfortable by the minute. Her practiced smile was cracking; Pacifica wasn't sure if she was going to make it another four hours.
Music from the string quartet sang out across the room, slightly distracting Pacifica. She smiled at the melody, she knew it by heart and began humming and swaying to the rhythm.
"Would you like to dance, my dear?" Gideon whispered in her ear.
She obediently nodded. Gideon took her hand and led her to the middle of the dancefloor. They waltzed to the sound of the music. One two three four. One step in from the left, another step back, another step sideways and an occasional twirl. Pacifica felt like she had been repeating the same foot movements for hours and the room started to spin. Left foot right foot, twirl, left foot right foot. It was nauseating.
"Are you okay?" Gideon asked, slowing their dance to a stop.
Pacifica put a hand to her head, "I think I just need some air." She said and headed toward the Manor's back door.
"Hurry back, dumplin'!" he called after her, his words laced with impatience.
Pacifica rubbed her pounding head as she pushed through people to get to the back door. The grand door that opened up to the gardens was already ajar, some people were mingling outside. She understood why, the candles and the fireplace were enough to make the main hall warm but hundreds of people made it sweltering. She released a relieved breath when the chilly November air kissed her skin, enveloping her in a comforting blanket of cold. Her dizziness faded and her nausea subsided. She walked farther into the garden, far enough so that she couldn't hear the music or people talking. It was just her and the occasionally autumn breeze.
The Northwest garden was an elaborate courtyard decorated with trimmed hedges and an abundance of flowers. She sat down on a stone bench, realizing that she was in the center of her family's courtyard. She was surrounded by neatly cut shrubs and thickets of rose plants. Surely no one would venture too far into the gardens to find her. She closed her eyes and released a long sigh.
"Miss Northwest?" A voice startled her and she nearly fell off the bench. She feared that Gideon had found her and her pulse quickened. She quickly stood up, an excuse on the tip of her tongue if it was her fiancé.
A figure rounded the corner and Pacifica released a breath, relieved to see it was only her butler. "What are you doing out here?" she demanded sternly.
He let out a chuckle. "With all due respect, Miss Northwest, I could ask you the same thing." Pacifica tensed up. Her body wanted to lash out and scold him for speaking so casually, but her mind was simply thankful that he wasn't Gideon.
"It was hot inside and I needed some air." She answered his question bluntly. "Now it's your turn: what are you doing outside?"
"I was hot, ma'am. I do apologize for following you," he started, his dark eyes had a sinister glint to them, like he was lying. No. He was lying. "I thought you were supposed to be inside the whole night."
She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyebrows. Her butler had already captured her attention from the beginning with his strange behavior and the way he was acting now made her eager to understand the air of mystery that surrounded him. But the guilt of being gone from Gideon too long gnawed at her, she was sure he would round the corner any minute. Her heart told her to stay but her mind reminded her of her obligations. "I am, and I should be going back inside and you should too before someone realizes you're gone." She stood up and straightened the fabric of her dress. Her skin itched with anxiety as she began to walk away. She was sure she would be interrogated by Gideon for being gone so long and of course she would have to dance with him and stand by him for the remainder of the night. Just thinking about it made her nauseous
"Wait!" his sudden shout stopped her and he grabbed her hand. She could feel the tenderness in his touch through the velvet of her gloves. The tension built up between them making time stretch for eons and it felt like an eternity before he spoke again. "You don't love him, do you?"
The silence hung in the cold air between them, his dark brown eyes swam with certainty. Pacifica pressed her lips together, determined not to let him get to her. He was just a servant and had no business wanting to know how she felt. "No," she whispered, her voice barely audible above the occasional breeze.
This was wrong. It was wrong for him to look her in the eye, wrong for him to hold her hand and wrong for him to be speaking to her. But his brown eyes brimmed with understanding, his touch full of empathy, and his voice laced with concern. Everything that Gideon wasn't.
"I shouldn't be doing this," she choked out, her voice void of any authority.
In one swift move he laced his fingers between hers, pulled her into an embrace and placed his hand on her back. Pacifica felt uncomfortable around Gideon, but he was different. She leaned into his touch and squeezed his hand. His breath tickled her neck and heat rushed to her cheeks.
"Neither should I."
This is so long overdue. I've been busy with school and I just got another job so there's that. I hope you guys enjoy!