Using the prompt 'loneliness'

Chapter Nine

"I wonder what everyone's doing at Hogwarts," Lily wondered out loud as she, her two brothers, and Rose and Hugo sat in the large living room at Grimmauld Place.

Rose sat on the couch with a book in her lap, paying no attention to any of them. James and Albus were on the floor, wrestling one another for one thing or another (it was a fairly common occurrence), while Hugo and Lily sat and watched.

"I don't really care," Hugo admitted.

Lily watched him for a moment and then shook her head. "I do. It's kind of getting a bit boring here. No one wants to do anything. All we ever do is sit around and... feel sad."

Behind them, Rose made a strangled noise, but when Hugo turned around, she still had her nose buried in the book.

"It would be quite nice to go back there and see all my friends again."

Hugo didn't say anything. What was Lily saying? That she was over what had happened? That she had forgotten that two members of their family had just been killed? Was she really able to just get on with her life like that?

It was still so fresh in Hugo's mind – and probably Rose's too. He couldn't even contemplate going back to school yet. He wasn't sure if he would ever want to go back. It would feel strange not having his mum and dad there saying goodbye to him.

At Lily's words, James and Albus both stopped with their wrestling match.

James looked at his little sister, panting. "You know..." he began, trying to catch his breath. "I was thinking the same thing. I miss Quidditch and believe it or not, I miss our classes too. My OWLs will be in a few months and I do kind of want to do well in them."

Another strangled sound came from Rose, followed by a snap, making Hugo aware that her book was no longer open.

Oh no, he thought. She's going to lose it.

But, before she could say anything, Harry – thankfully – appeared in the living room. "Lunch is ready, guys, if you're hungry."

James, Albus and Lily all got to their feet instantly, their cheerful voices echoing down the hallway and through to the kitchen.

Hugo and Rose remained where they were, silence filling the living room.

It was Rose who spoke first. "How can they just forget?" she asked quietly.

Hugo shook his head. "I don't know." He hadn't realised until a few moments ago, but the company of his cousins had been a great help. Having them there when Rose had locked herself away had been comforting. They were all going through the same thing and it hadn't made him feel as lonely as he possibly could have.

But now, it seemed they were over it. They were all ready to go back to their normal lives and pretend as if nothing had happened.

"It's as if they've moved on," Rose commented. "I guess..." She paused, taking in a long, deep breath. "I guess Mum and Dad were just an aunt and uncle to them. They still have their parents and plenty of other aunts and uncles."

It didn't make Hugo feel any better, not that he thought that was why Rose had mentioned it.

"I guess it's just us," Rose continued. "Just the two of us. Everyone else has seemed to have forgotten that Mum and Dad died only three weeks ago."

It made Hugo feel lonelier than ever, even though his sister was sitting only a few feet away from him. They had no one; no one who would fully understand what it was like to lose their parents.

Not in the way they had.

Their three cousins returned moments later, each carrying a plate with a sandwich on it. It appeared that James had just said something funny, because his two siblings were roaring with laughter as they returned to where they had been sitting before.

"Oh, I really wish I could be on the team," Lily sighed. "It sounds like so much fun!"

"Girls aren't really welcome on the Gryffindor team, Lil," James replied.

Lily frowned. "Why not?" she demanded.

"Because... well, there are no girls."

"But I can play!" Lily argued.

"Your best position is Chaser and we already have three excellent Chasers. Maybe when they leave..."

"I should have been put in Hufflepuff," Lily grumbled. "They allow girls on their team."

"Well, next year, we lose two Chasers, so maybe you can join then, Lil. You and Al together... they won't know what hit them. Rose's boyfriend won't stand a chance."

"He's not my boyfriend!" Rose answered angrily. Hugo almost heard her teeth grinding in frustration. Trust James to rile her up. They could be best friends one day and at each other's throats the next.

James grinned. "I love how you always know who we're talking about, Rosie. We don't even have to say his name."

Lily giggled. "Well, your girlfriend goes down to watch you at Quidditch practice all the time," she teased.

Hugo had never seen James get embarrassed about anything, but Lily's words caused him to blush.

"I don't have a girlfriend," he mumbled.

"Oh, I think Lily meant your snog buddy," Rose said viciously.

Hugo sat there, not saying anything. Hadn't James learnt not to anger Rose? She was already sad from what had happened. She didn't need to be angered too.

"Come on, James, we're not blind, we've seen you staring at her in the common room when you think no one is looking," Albus joined in. "She's very pretty... but you do know Uncle Ron dated her mum once?"

"What?"

Albus looked up at Rose. "Who are you talking about?" he asked.

"J-Jasmine," Rose stammered.

"Yeah... didn't you know?" he questioned.

It was news to Hugo too. He knew that his parents had been friends with Jasmine and her twin brother's father at school, but neither of them had mentioned their mother. He had heard from the twins not so long ago that she had also been in Gryffindor, but didn't even know her name.

Rose stared blankly at Albus, blinking a few times.

Albus grinned. "Dad told me. Said they were permanently attached at the face or something... just like James wishes he was with Jasmine."

"We kissed once, okay!" James said. "Once!"

"And she will chew you up and spit you out like every other boy she's been with," Rose continued.

James was silent.

"Ah, she already has," Rose continued, a satisfied smile on her face. "It's why you warned Albus about her, wasn't it? Weren't you good enough for her?"

Everyone was now watching James, their sandwiches forgotten. Hugo sat in silence, wishing no one had said anything. Why did Rose always have to react in the worst way possible?

Rose and your father are like two peas in a pod, he remembered his mum saying once. They can get along with someone really well one moment and the next, they're all riled up over something small.

In that moment, Hugo realised how true that was. They were a lot alike in many ways – one thing being their temper.

Why couldn't she have ignored James? And why did James have to say anything in the first place?

"She's a good kisser, for your information," James argued, now glaring at Rose. "We just... she... moved on."

Rose snorted. "As she always does."

James opened his mouth to argue again, but was silenced by Hugo getting to his feet. He looked between them, glaring. "Stop fighting," he said. "Stop it."

No one said anything. "You," he pointed at James. "Why do you have to be so mean to Rose? Especially after what has just happened? And, Lily," he turned to his youngest cousin in the room. "Why do you want to go back to Hogwarts? My mum and dad just died!"

Lily opened her mouth and then closed it again. She looked shocked. It wasn't like Hugo to lose it at all. He was normally the cool, calm and collected one. Rose was the one to lose her temper over these things.

"And Rose." Hugo rounded on his older sister, feeling the fury in his eyes. Rose looked up at him from her seat on the couch. "Stop being so... stop it, okay!"

"Stop what?" Rose asked.

"Being a bitch?" James offered.

"Sshh," Albus warned, giving his brother a reprimanding look.

"No... stop being like Dad, okay?"

Rose pursed her lips together, her eyes narrowing.

"You're so much like him and... it's reminding me... of him."

"Hugo..." Rose began, but Hugo shook his head, silencing her.

"I thought you understood," he continued. "I thought you understood that it was too soon to forget about them... but here you are... arguing with James like nothing has happened. You're all the same! None of you care!" He waved his hands around at the four other people in the room. "They've only been gone for three weeks and here you are, thinking about going back to Hogwarts or... or arguing over girls! Do you think they would have liked us arguing like this? Do you think they would like you yelling, Rose? No! They would hate it. Why can't you just keep your stupid mouth shut for once and let something pass?

"No wonder everyone in the Gryffindor common room is scared to talk to you, or tell you you're sitting in their chair. You'd just yell at them!"

The end of Hugo's speech was greeted with a shell-shocked silence. Rose blinked up at him, her mouth moving, but no words were coming out.

Behind Hugo, Lily let out a soft squeak and disappeared from the room.

Hugo wasn't going to lie. It felt good to say that to her. He had been wanting to say it for years.

"I thought we were in this together," he then said, softer this time. "But we're not. It's just me." He took one last look at his sister's shocked face and then left the room, running straight past Harry, who had returned with Lily.

"What's going on?" he heard Harry ask as Hugo made his way up to his room two steps at a time.

Hugo slammed his bedroom door shut, the walls around him rattling dangerously. Tears were threatening to fall, but he didn't care. It was about time he cried.

Anger pulsed through him, but he knew it wasn't because of what had just happened. It had never been about that. No, it was because his parents were gone. They had left him alone without a second thought. They had let themselves get killed by some woman they didn't even bother to tell him about.

He just wanted them to come back – to walk through the door and tell him it had all been a big joke.

Parents weren't supposed to die! They were supposed to be around forever.

Footsteps echoed up the stairs and Hugo braced himself for another talk by Harry. His fists banged on the door from the other side.

"Hugo! Open up! Open your door!" That wasn't Harry; that was Rose. "Hugo, let me in!"

"Go away!" Hugo cried. "Leave me alone!"

"I'm sorry, Hugo. I'm really sorry. I-I know I shouldn't have lost it like that, but... I miss them, Hu. I miss them so much." There was silence and Hugo heard her slide against the bedroom door that he was not going to open for her. "You were always their favourite, you know. You were less trouble. Even as a baby."

Hugo scowled. She was just trying to make him forgive her. "No, you were their favourite," he argued. "You were smart. You made them proud."

"They loved both of us equally," Rose replied. "Leave it at that?"

Hugo sighed. He really didn't want to fight with her any more than was necessary. "Yeah, okay," he relented.

"I really am sorry, Hugo. I know you're angry at me right now, but we really are in this together. You're right."

"I wish they could understand, though," Hugo said.

"Me too, but I think we just have to accept that they never will. They're never going to understand what it's like to have someone tell you your parents are dead, unless it happens to them. And I don't want it to ever happen to them. Not like it's happened to us."

"Uncle Harry knows what it's like."

"No, he doesn't. He was a baby... we remember Mum and Dad. We remember almost everything we ever did with them. He doesn't understand... am I forgiven?" Rose then asked.

Hugo shook his head, thankful Rose couldn't see him. No, he wanted to yell at her. No, you're not.

"Yeah," he said. "I guess."

"Can I come in?"

"No."

"Hugo..."

"I just want to be left alone for a while, okay? Just promise me one thing..."

"Anything."

"Please don't lose it like that ever again. You would always get into trouble for it and I don't like it when you get angry like that."

"James can just be so frustrating sometimes, though!"

"Ignore him."

"I – "

"Please?" Hugo begged.

There was a moment of silence and then a heavy sigh coming from Rose's side of the door. "Fine, I promise," she said. It wasn't as convincing as Hugo would have liked, but he let it pass.

"Thanks," he said.

"Anything for my little brother," Rose answered and Hugo heard the humour in her voice. "I love you, Hu."

Hugo sighed. He loved Rose too. Despite her fiery temper that was constantly getting her into trouble and her stubborn nature that she had inherited from their dad, she was still his sister and he loved her too.

"Me too," he mumbled.

So, the good news is... I have almost complete the 37th chapter of this fic, and it's going well, so it shall be finished.

The not so good news is... I'm only posting chapter 9... you see... I only send a chapter like once a fortnight to my beta (which I greatly thank for beta-ing this chapter). I'm going to try and update faster I promise (I seem to have an OCD problem with this fic... though... I won't send the next chapter unless I get 10 reviews...)

Anyway, enough of my rambling, I hope you liked. But, question of the day: did anybody else have the email problem?