…
A part of you that'll never show
You're the only one that'll ever know
Take it back when it all began
..

Ben Speaks

It was undeniably not the first time I had been led into someone else's home but as I followed Adam in, Claire not too far behind me, it was the first time I had felt so comfortable.

The house was dark and when I stood in the archway while Adam searched for the light switch, I knew there was no trap, there were no police waiting in the dark to arrest us but it didn't stop Claire from tensing with anticipation behind me when the lights did come on. The home was almost vacant, only the essential items. The only thing that gave the room any character was the large collection of books and old oak desk that sat proudly in the joining study.

'Please, have a seat.'
Adam sat himself down in his chair, his bottle of whiskey and books all neatly beside him and Claire and I looked over to the old two-seater.
'I prefer to stand.' Claire replied, keeping her arms folded and leant against it as I took the seat.
'You can relax, I am a friend. No need to reach for you gun tucked in the back of your pants.' He chuckled when Claire dropped her arms, not able to make eye contact with me as I smiled myself.
'I may look old but I'm certainly not stupid.'
'We never said you were.' I said and leant forward, hands clasped to hide my anxious fiddle.

Adam nodded, reaching for his bottle and taking a swig before offering it to me. I really could have done with a drink, but I was just wanting to get the answers.
'Now, seeing as we are all hunters, anybody want to do the tests?'
I raised an eyebrow, but Claire seemed eager to step forward, pulling out a silver knife. Dragging it across her arm, she drew enough blood to prove she was human and Adam leant back, probably as surprised by her abruptness as I was. Adam took the knife and did the same before he pulled out a clear bottle of water, the rosary dangling inside it.

'Necessary?'
'For you.' Claire said and I wanted to tap her arms or leg or something in warning, but some part of me, my hunter side was telling me to let him. With a shrug Adam took a gulp, shaking his head as droplets fell on his chin.
'We all satisfied?'
Claire stepped back again, standing beside the arm of the chair and tucking blondes strands behind her ear.
'I don't trust easily.'
Adam nodded, like he already knew that to. He pulled out the bottle of whiskey again, swallowing almost all of it to replace the bland flavor of water in his mouth.
'Yet you will trust this man after a single day?'

He was pointing at me and I sat back, sharing a glance with Claire who didn't have a response to it, a slight pink coming to her cheeks but whether it was her rage or embarrassment I could not be sure.
'How do you know all of this? Who are you?'
'Questions, question. One at a time please.' Adam laughed but I reframed from showing any emotion on my face. After a moment Adam went to stand, offering us a beer or something to eat but I held up my hand, seating him back down again.
'Just answers.'

There was a heavy sigh in the room and Adam relaxed back in the tatty chair, hands rubbing in his lap before he began.
'I was only nineteen, roughly your age when I met my brothers for the first time. I had never known my father, and for a little while hated my mother for that.'
I couldn't help but share a look with Adam, he knew exactly how I felt sometimes.
'I grew up normally and went to University as a med student. Did alright to. Now stuff happened, too long for me to want to explain and I met them.' He sighed, it must have been a horrible memory.

'But even though they were my half-brothers, the same blood, I didn't want to know them. I rejected them both and made a decision that ruined my life. I regret that every single day of my life.'
I rubbed my eyes; this was honestly not what I wanted to here, this all was linked right?
Claire shuffled beside me and draped a leg along the side of the lounge, leaning more comfortably as she listened.
'Who were they?'

'Your father, the bravest man I have ever met. His name was Dean Winchester.'
My blood ran faster, my heart pumping blood throughout me to make up for the second that it stopped.
Dean Winchester…

Just because you love someone doesn't mean you can hang around and ruin their lives.

I didn't know what to say; so many questions were floating around in my mind, crashing into one another to form one that was even bigger but where did I start?
'Who was he?'
Adam smiled, scratching at his hair line.
'Someone I wish that I had known better, someone I trusted. He was a hunter, like you are now. You even look like him.'
An enormous part of me felt lighter, and I smiled before I could feel the cold darkness of disappointment creep on me.

'Why did he leave us? My mother and I? '
Adam shrugged, shaking his head gently and I sighed.
'That I cannot tell you, but there is a way for you to remember. Feels like you have a wall in your mind, yeah? Does it ever get itchy?'
Again I nodded, trying to figure out where this was going. Claire next to me stood, mumbling something about a beer but Adam and I weren't paying that much attention, his dark eyes burrowing into me.

'What if I told you there was a way to get rid of it? To be able to remember everything that has been hidden from you?'
'You say that like it had been put there on purpose.' I chuckled but my grin dropped as Adams face became stern.
'It was.'
I closed my eyes, trying to see the wall, feel where it was holding back all the things I needed to know and sure enough it was there. It blocked everything and I tried to force it down with the name of my father, but nothing moved.
With a sigh I opened my eyes again, Adam grinning sadly at me. I took a moment to study his face but there was nothing in him that reminded me of myself but did he look like what my father did? Would I ever know him, meet him?
'So this makes you… what? My half uncle?'

Adam laughed, a rich genuine sound and he shook his hand.
'Don't go calling me that. Just Adam will do.'

Claire Speaks

I quietly moved myself from the lounge, mumbling for Ben to hear that I was going to hunt for a beer. That was a moment that he had been waiting for all his life, he didn't need me there hovering over his shoulder like a pet monkey.

Feeling along the wall for a light, I found the kitchen and was not surprised that it was practically empty. Tins of food were lined neatly long the wall and a table laid out nicely with placemats to protect it from the knives and bullet shells that were laid out on top of it. I did take a moment to look over the collection, quiet impressed with it.
I liked my knives.

Satisfied with my sticky-beak, I found the small fridge humming in the corner, the kitchen a different level down from the dining room. I opened it, finding a range of drinks from soda to cider and beer to whiskey. Grabbing out a few bottles, I stood up and closed the fridge quietly as something made my ears twitch.

The noise was coming from outside and I placed the bottles silently on the bench, reaching for my gun behind me. There was hardly any light outside, making it impossible to see anything, but whatever it was out there, it was moving closer.
I reached for the door, checking if it was locked but nothing was latched and I moved forward carefully, pushing the door open.

I was barely a step out the door when I was knocked to the ground.

I struggled with the creature on top of me, trying to push it off me as it tried to snap at my neck. The fur was soft in my hand and it only took me a moment to realise that it wasn't trying to rip out my throat.
The dog was growling though, low in its chest as I stood over me and I tried to be as still as I could.

'Pearl!' A voice yelled and the dog obediently stepped aside, allowing me to sit upright, wiping the slobber from my face. The figure stood in front of me and I rubbed my head as a hand was held out for me. Looking up, I saw the young man smiling gently, and I hesitated before taking the hand. He heaved me to his feet and I looked down for my gun, tucking it back into my jeans.
'Sorry about that. She can get a little excited and protective when it comes to strangers.'

Glancing down, the dog sat still, beautifully large ears upright and listening and tail sweeping the floor behind it repeatedly.
'Clever dog.'
Turning my attention back to the man, I smiled at him as he continued to stare at me, a smile of his own on his lips. He was handsome; tall and for a moment I wasn't sure if his eyes were teal or just reflecting from my shirt.
'You must be Claire.'
I shook his hand, rolling my eyes.
'Why am I the only one that knows nothing?'
He chuckled, a warm sound that made me want to chuckle with him.
'I'm Jesse,' he smiled again, and I was lost for a moment as my eyes traced his strong cheek bones and dark sandy hair that was a mess.
'Jesse Turner.'

Ben Speaks

'There's my good girl!' Adam called from his chair, leaning forward and for a fleeting moment I thought he was talking about Claire until a dog ran through the room, leading in Claire and someone else.

The dog wagged its tail, happy to receive a pat from its owner until it noticed me. Long ears locked onto my very breath and she snarled until Adam rubbed her hard on the head.
'Oh, you're back at last.'
I stood up, as tall as I could when the other man walked into the room with Claire.
'Ben I would like you to meet Jesse Turner. Jesse, Ben Braeden.'

I noticed Claire watching Jesse as he moved forward, hand out wide after straightening his jacket.
'Finally nice to meet you.'
Shaking his hand firmly, I tried not to seem like a jerk but the way Claire was watching him was making me jealous.
Wait, did I really just think that?

'Right, now that we all know everyone's name, are you ready Ben?'
I looked at him timidly, not sure what he meant in asking me if I was ready.
'Don't look like you've seen a wendigo for the first time, lay out on the couch.'

Uncomfortable all of a sudden I did what I was told and made myself comfortable on the lounge, linking my fingers but frowning as Jesse knelt beside me, his fingers spread and reaching for my head.
'Whoa, no Vulcan mind meld things!'
'Do you wish to remember?' Jesse asked and I glared up at him. Half of me was yelling to just sit up, there had to be a different way for me to knock down the wall but the way Adam and Jesse were watching me, it seemed like there was no time to be wasted.
'What are you doing?' Claire asked and I was grateful there was at least one person concerned on my behalf.

'Jesse here has some…gifts, and he can use them to help your friend regain his memories. He will need them when the time comes.'
Claire fell silent again but from the corner of my eye I could see her reaching for her gun; fingers poised and ready if something happened she didn't like. Hopefully it was only when it was something I didn't like.

Jesses cold finger tips positioned around my face and I raised an eyebrow as he leant over me, eyes closed.
'Concentrate, Braeden. Find the wall, search out the weakness in it.'
As awkward as I felt, I again did as I was told. I needed to know who I was, who this Dean Winchester was and why he abandoned me and my mother.
Searching through my mind, I could feel the world outside shrink down to nothing. Jesse was there with me, I don't know how to explain it but together we found a crack in that wall.

I pushed at it, Jesse's fingers pressing on my skin keeping the link between my mind and the real world.
'I can't-'
'Focus.'
Forcing my entire being to the small crack I could feel, I felt it budge and then it fell away.
Jesse backed away from me and I breathed in a large breath. Pain split my head in half and I cried out.

When the sting eased, I was standing up amongst a dense fog. It twisted and flowed as I breathed heavily, trying to figure out where I was. Quickly I stirred the fog aside as I ran and soon my feet hit a cold tar road.
Panting, I looked around but there was still nothing for me to go by to figure out where I was. There was nothing, just the road illuminated before me as the darkness closed in behind. Terror gripped me and began to mingle in my blood but I tried desperately to push through the feeling that something was very wrong. Behind me the darkness caught up with me and, no wanting to find out what happened when I was in it, I ran.

Claire Speaks

It had almost been a full day since Ben lay on the lounge and he still showed no sign of waking anytime soon.
I was furious the first few hours, wanting to beat both Adam and Jesse for answers but they assured me that this was normal. How would they know? Were there others out there that did this to people?

It was late afternoon as I sat out on the back porch, spinning my phone in my hand as I waited for Lance to call. He still hadn't replied to any of my calls or messages, which was not like him at all, even when he was angry at me. So I just sat there, feeling as useless as hell. Even hell was more useful than me.

The sun was still burning in the sky, clouds still hanging around but it didn't stop it from being a warm day. Rubbing my bare arms, I pulled at my hair as I tried not to think of Ben. He had done a lot for me in such a short amount of time and now I was sitting here, not knowing even what was going to happen next week. The way he twitched, like he was fighting in his sleep made me concerned; what was he dreaming of?
Of course being a hunter I knew there were something that were possible where others thought they were only things made up in tales but I knew better. It didn't mean I fully understood them.
Adam had tried to explain things to me, but I ignored him. I heard Bens story, it was only fair that he heard mine. Not that anything would be new to me, just a painful reminder or clarification.

White filled my face suddenly and I grinned as I rubbed Pearls head.
'She likes you.'
I smiled up as Jesse sat beside me, passing me a beer and a plate with a sandwich neatly cut in half. So it was Jesse that looked after Adam and the house.

'I don't think I can say the same.' I chuckled lightly and gently pushed the white dog from my lap. I had forgotten to eat again and I accepted the food, not waiting a minute more to take a bite of the ham and lettuce.
'Shame, I took you for a dog lover.'
I smiled, opening the beer as Jesse drank his, watching with me as Pearl galloped for a ball.
'She is beautiful though, what sort of dog is she?'

The white dog rolled on the grass, proving to me she was still only a young one, playful and gorgeous.
'Pearls a Tamaskan. Only just two years old but still thinks she is a tiny pup that can sit anywhere she likes.'
I chuckled, gobbling my sandwich down before Pearl ran up to me, eyes begging for the crust. I tossed it off for her, her head bumping into my chest for a cuddle.
'Looks like a wolf.'

'They are pretty close to the wolf family. Howls all the time to prove it, ay? And your big fluffy white boof-head.' He growled playfully, Pearl grunting as Jesse shook her about. I smiled, I really did like Pearl.
'They have one of the highest Iqs for dogs, not that this one is an example of it. Loves to run, just run and run and run. Makes her a fantastic hunting partner; sneaky when she wants to be and very obedient.'
I just grinned at him, and Jesse looked at me from the corner of his eye, finishing his drink before he chuckled nervously.

'I'm sorry, I get a little carried away sometimes.'
Shaking my head, I returned the giggle and threw the toy Pearl dropped beside me.
'No don't be, it, it is nice to see someone who cares so much.'
Strange green eyes met mine and I studied them until I realised I was staring too hard and dropped my head, now seeing the sun disappear behind the wall of trees and hills. Goosebumps began to rise on my arms and I shivered slightly.

'What did you do to Ben?' I asked abruptly, Jesse looking away from me.
He took a deep breath, like it was going to be difficult to explain.
'I did nothing, I just helped him… unlock a door to his memories.'
'Why was it locked?'
I pulled my hair over my shoulder, twisting it as I returned my gaze back to Jesse.

In the sunset his hair burnt a vibrant orange, I could only imagine what mine looked like. Shadows began to form on his face, curved nose and soft cheek bones and eyes bright as he crisscrossed across my face. Butterflies formed in my stomach and I tried to distract myself by looking for Pearl, anything to keep my mind in focus.

Something dropped over my shoulders and I flinched before I realised it was only a jacket, looking up as Jesse again offered me a hand up.
'I think it is best that Adam explains it.'
I took the hand, sliding mine into his as he heaved me up, calling Pearl as I walked inside.
What was going on? Why the hell did I just have butterflies?

'So is Adam your father?'
Jesse laughed, a smile gracing his face, dimples in his cheeks and eyes smiling in themselves.
'No. I found him when we both needed each other.' He shut the door as Pearl raced in, scattering along the floor in her excitement to get into the living room. 'He offered me a home and I repay him by helping him.'

I nodded, pulling his jacket over my arms properly as I shivered as the air became cool.
'Come on, I got a fire going and I think Ben is up.'
Following him into the lounge room, I felt my pace quicken when I saw Ben sitting upright, rubbing his head. I left the warmth of Jesse's side and dropped myself in front of Ben, grabbing his wrist as he looked at me.

'I like your hair curly.' He mumbled and I rolled my eyes. Typical Ben, at least he was still him.
Beside the crackling fire, Adam stood with a new bottle of whiskey and poked another wood into place.
'How do you feel? What happened? Do you remember everything?'
Ben laughed this time, grabbing my face gently and I felt my heart stop as he looked into my eyes. There was something different in them and I leant my forehead against his, grateful that he was all still in one piece, still the same stupid man I decided to hunt with.
'I thought I was the impulsive one, brat.'
'I just care, bastard.'

I stood up straight, ruffling his head and leaning my back against the wall. Jesse gave me a grin, a quick look up and down but I just smiled, not sure what to think. Should I hope he didn't like me? Someone like him probably had a girlfriend and fifty others that wanted her place, what chance did I stand?
Why did I care?

'I remember everything.' There was sadness in his voice and I wondered what it was he remembered exactly. Adam nodded, taking a seat and patting his leg for Pearl, but instead she sat beside me, panting up at me as I looked down at her.
'Good.'
'Excuse me,' I said, unfolding my arms. Jesse pulled down his sleeved shirt, crossing his arms like he knew what I was going to say, 'but what just happened? He was out for a full day!'
Nodding his head, Adam flicked his wrist and Jesse left the room before he turned his attention to us.

'When Ben was younger, an angel put up a wall in his mind so that all memory relating to his father would be suppressed.'
Jesse returned with a glass of water, handing it to Ben who drank it down quickly.
'Why?'
'Because he wanted to protect me.'
I shared a glance with Ben before I looked away from them all, revolted by the word angel used in the sentence.
'What on earth would make an angel do that for a human?' I snapped.
'Because, Claire. The angel that did it was Castiel.'

My whole body became tense and I narrowed my eyes on Adam, hoping he could see the loathing in my eyes. The mere sound of his name made my skin crawl with chills and like Ben, all my memories of my father rushed into me.
'I'm sorry but this is all still is making no sense. A monster working with his Dad?'
'An angel Claire… ask proper questions.'
Frowning at Adam, I tried to stare him down as he drank from his bottle, obviously not needing to breath. A man like this, a drunk man that thought nothing of his life, why was I listening to him? For all I knew he could be spinning webs around my head and have me exactly where he needed me. For what I would just have to wait and see.

'Miss Novak, it was because he was aiding the Winchesters in stopping the apocalypse and things just rolled from there. They were a team, they fought for freedom; a fallen angel and a risen hunter.'
My blood began to boil now but I calmed myself, knowing it wasn't their fault I lost my father, I just had to hang onto that rage for the day I met Castiel. Tucking some of my hair behind my ear, I gave an apologetic look to both Adam and Ben, dropping my arms and softening my aggression.

'I'm sorry, just… why tell us this? Why help him get all his marbles back?'
'Hey,' Ben growled up from the lounge and I barely glanced down at him before Jesse stood beside Adam, a concerned look on his face.

'We are telling you this because your fathers' work, their responsibilities has been passed on to you.'
Both Ben and I shook our heads furiously.
'No, I don't think so. My father died, he has no part in any of this, and him,' I pointed to Ben like a school kid points the blame, 'his father wiped his memories to keep him from this!'
'And yet here you both are, together and hunting.'

I hesitated in my response, looking down and meeting Bens eyes. It was strange we found each other, and stranger still that after everything, we still chose this life; but it didn't mean we had to do anything that our fathers left unfinished.
As I stared into green eyes, I could remember the day when Dean came to our home, demanding that my father return with them, never to come back to me. I couldn't tell Ben that I hated Dean probably as much as Castiel.
'Plenty of people are getting into hunting, they've had to.'

'You both went to school right? Yeah, can you see them all, in your mind?'
I nodded slowly, picturing them all. I could no longer remember their names, my alias names needing all the memory space I had but I could still see them; those I hated, my friends and even the kids that meant nothing to me.
'Right. Fifty percent of them are dead, another forty five living blindly, oblivious and consumed with the recovery after the war. Five percent are aware of the supernatural world but are too weak.' He spat out the last word, his anger growing inside him as he slammed the bottle onto the table, Jesse bending slightly ready to catch it. 'That leaves a mere one percent that are hunters, one. So strap on your party hat kid because your already in the wagon!'

'You have no right to tell us what to do with our lives! You have no idea the hell we have lived through!' Ben hissed, rubbing his head gently as he swayed. I put my hand on his shoulder but didn't miss the dark sorrow that grew on Adams face.
'Hell, you think your life is hell.' He stood slowly, the quiet rage the seeped through his mouth was enough to make me frightened of what he would do. Instead, with a longing look and tears in his eyes, Adam left the room, snatching his bottle as he went. Jesse didn't try to stop him and I didn't say anything more on the matter.

Ben went limp, falling back onto the lounge and I followed him around, propping a cushion under his head.
'He will be alright. He'll just sleep now.'
Jesse stood behind me, watching as I stroked hair from Bens face. Such a strong face and yet behind it was a mind I was sure would break so easily. Turning around I stood straight, Pearl following Adam as he grumbled down the hall.

'I'm sure Ben didn't mean what he said as horribly as it seemed. We're all hunters here right?'
Jesse nodded gently, handing me a blanket from who knows where, which I placed around Ben carefully. He was snoring now and I smiled as Jesse gave Ben a strange look.
'Adam is just a bit touchy when it comes to the topic of hell. Tea?'
I nodded, not starving but enough that my stomach was starting to ache. Jesse led me through to the kitchen, myself looking back to make sure Ben was actually sleeping.

Zipping up the jacket, I shuffled into it more comfortably as I sat at the table, Jesse moving down to the lower level and opened the fridge.
'Can I ask what happened to him?'
Gingerly Jesse shut the fridge, a plate of cold meat and loaf of bread.
'I… I don't think it will be a problem.'

As he sat them down on the table, a bag of lettuce brought up next Jesse sat in front of me, the light flickering on above us so we could see. He played with a lettuce leaf for a moment, tugging at his grey shirt before he leant in.
'Don't tell him I told you but, he had been in hell.'

I froze around my mouthful of bread, raising an eyebrow.
I knew there was a heaven and hell, that was just common sense but to actually meet someone who had survived hell, brought back from hell, that was rare.
'What happened? Deal with a demon?'
'Deal with an angel.'
I groaned as I chewed, somehow not very surprised that an angel would screw someone over.

'Ben's dad was supposed to be the vessel for Arch angel Michael, but he refused. He didn't want the apocalypse or to lose Ben and Lisa. So they found Adam, the half-brother.' He finished making his sandwich, but seemed to have no appetite.
'Of course they would, they don't care.'
'Castiel did. He brought Dean Winchester back from the pit.'
That name, I wished they would stop using it.
'Yeah, so they could stop the apocalypse, but that's over, and what angel would bring Adam from hell?'
'Well it wasn't Hell, with torturing souls and wondering forever, he was in a cage, trapped there with Lucifer and Michael.'

I put my half eaten sandwich down, my appetite now vanishing.
'And it wasn't an angel that freed him.' Jesse said, biting his ham to prolong his answer. He didn't want to answer, I could see it in his face but I kept my eyes fixed, waiting for him to clarify.
'Come on, I thought only angels could save someone, unless a demon suddenly got some heart.'
'I did.'

Luckily I hadn't had food in my mouth or beer or else is would have been all over the room with my laugh. However I silenced when Jesse didn't.
'You're not kidding?' he shook his head and I leant back in my chair, frightened with the only explanation I could think of.

'You, you're not a-'
Now Jesse laughed and I felt a part of me relax.
'I thought you would have known an angel when you saw one Claire, and liked them a little more than you do.'
'Just because I know they exist doesn't mean I have to like them.'
Outside it was dark and something warm lay on my feet beneath the table. If Pearl could, I was sure she would be purring.

'So, how did you do it then? Make a deal, open the cage?'
Jesse shook his head, crossing his arms and then unfolding them nervously.
'I think it's time to turn in, we got a lot to do tomorrow…'
Quickly I grabbed his hand as he stood from the table, Pearl jerking at my movement underneath.
'You can tell me! You seem to know all my secrets, what is yours? Maybe I can help.'
'There is nothing you can help with,' he said with a smile and I tilted my head, my hand letting his slip out. With another smile he bowed his head and cleared the table, saying good night.

'Night.' I replied weakly. I remained still for a while, Pearl keeping me warm as I sat there and thought.
It couldn't have been that bad to not be able to tell anyone, what sort of deal did he make? Why did he save Adam if they had never met before?
All these questions were going to keep me up all night and I dropped my head into my arms as I rest them on the table.
Tomorrow Ben and I were leaving, I didn't care what they had to say tomorrow, as long as Ben and I could just get back on the road, get back to hunting together. Now he had his memories things would change a bit, but not too much right?

My head became light and my eyes drooped a bit, Pearl already dreaming under the table. As I closed my eyes, welcoming the sleep, I couldn't help but feel that things were never going to be simple ever again.

Now they have all met and all remember, will all the secrets be revealed?

Silver-Kirin
xXx