Athrana (Wandering Shadow)
Chapter 13- Running
TA3018, October
Athrana ran as fast as she could. She had to get away. She had been spending far too much time in Rivendell recently. Her control was slipping and she couldn't let that happen. She had fought too hard to give up now; she had given up too much. Now she ran through the trees trying to out run her thoughts. "You've been coming back here for years Athriel. Why" No "Athriel is dead!" I can't go back. I can't. "If she is as dead as you claim, then why do you still watch them?" Because I have to. Because it's my job. Because it's the only thing I can do. She stopped suddenly when she reached the water's edge. Because... Because... they make me feel almost normal.
Athrana looked down into the water. She hated the face that looked back at her. She wasn't normal, she would never be normal again. She had to stay away for a while, away from normality and the memories that plagued her. She wasn't that elf anymore. Athriel was dead and she needed to stay that way. There was another reason to stay away. There were those in Rivendell who knew she was alive and she didn't know how long they would keep their secret. Estel in particular seemed determined to make her reveal herself, and Glorfindel. She sighed. She should not have let him see her.
TA 3018, November
Glorfindel stood in the doorway with the key in his hand. What was he doing? This was madness. If Erestor came home and found him in here he would know for sure there was something wrong. He never came in here, never. The only time he ever ventured into Athriel's old room was when he had to retrieve his grieving mate. Everything sat just as it had always done. Everything in its place, exactly the way she had left it as she rushed off to join the twins on their errand. He didn't know what he had expected. Maybe a little thing out of place, some evidence that she had come here. That she had needed some small thing from her old life. No, everything was the same.
Slowly the Lord of the Golden Flower stepped over the threshold and shut the door quietly behind him. It had been two weeks since he had seen Athriel on the training grounds. Two weeks and he had heard nothing. She wasn't in Rivendell, he knew that. Soon Elladan and Elrohir would be leaving. They would be among the scouts sent out to clear the way for the Fellowship. Glorfindel was glad. He had been avoiding them these last few days.
Erestor made his way slowly through the corridors. Every now and then he would stop and will himself forward. Something was wrong. Something had been wrong for weeks now. Ever since he had woken to find Glorfindel sitting in front of the fire, with a drink in his hand. He had to find out what was going on, but he was afraid to ask. It was strange to see his mate like this, so distracted and distant, so depressed. All these years he had been the strong one, Erestor's rock to keep him steady. Suddenly it was as if everything had switched. Maybe that's all it was. Maybe it was the Advisors turn to be the strong one. For 85years Glorfindel had kept him going, now it was his turn. The only problem was, Erestor didn't think he was ready to be the strong one.
Elrohir just stood looking at his sword lying next to his brothers on the bed. They were packing for their journey. It had been a strange couple of weeks. Everyone seemed to be behaving oddly. First there was Estel. They had done what he had asked, but somehow the mortal's happiness had seemed fake. The whole idea of their ruse had been to spark Legolas into action, but Estel had seemed as if his plans had failed. Then there was Glorfindel. They hadn't really seen him since they're return from the wild and Elrohir couldn't think of anything they could have done to offend him.
"You are being paranoid brother" Elladan walked in from the sitting room and picked up his sword. "You are thinking the same as I am Dan, do not deny it." Elrohir replied mentally as he picked up his own sword. "I am not denying it Roh. You just over analyse everything" Elladan walked back out of the room his point made. "And you pretend your problems don't exist, and then go into a huff when you are proven wrong. Something is amiss and ignoring it will not make it go away. We have to talk to him."
Glorfindel spun around as he heard the door open. "What is going on Findel?" Erestor stood in the doorway trying to look supportive but failing miserably, he looked terrified. "Nothing Res, honestly" The advisor took a deep breath. "No, it's not anything. Something's wrong. I know it is, don't lie to me." Glorfindel opened and closed his mouth a couple of times. "I... eh... It's just" he couldn't do it. He couldn't bring Erestor down into the pit with him. "It's just I've never really been in here on my own." It wasn't a lie, not really. But it wasn't exactly the truth either. Erestor smiled slightly. "I didn't give you a chance to grieve did I Fin?" The warrior relaxed and opened his arms to give Erestor a hug.
"See Roh, you were over thinking it" The twins stood just out of view watching the two embrace. "It is still a problem Dan. Not only will Erestor continue avoiding us, now Glorfindel will start doing so." Leaning heavily on one another they made their way back to their quarters. "I wish she was here" "Me too"