Lucas POV/chapter 4 (Lucas and Riley date.)
I knocked on the Matthews front door nervously. I mean sure, I was nervous and excited about our date, and of course I was nervous about her dad, but what really was on my mind was the kiss that I had shared with Maya. I had all these other things going on and I still couldn't stop thinking about it, and it was driving me insane!
The door opened, and there stood Riley. Due to the kiss I had shared with Maya, I had developed a serious case of guilt towards my feelings for Riley. I still liked her, as I had done for a while, and I was almost ashamed that one little kiss had thrown my feelings so out of order. I cared for Maya, and the kiss between us was special, but my feelings for Riley had been getting stronger and stronger over the past year and I wasn't about to let them go. The fact that I had forgotten about her when Maya and I kissed had me riddled with guilt, and even though we weren't dating, I still felt like I was betraying her because I knew how she felt about me.
"Hey Lucas!" She said cheerfully while twirling a little.
"What do you think?" She was asking me what I thought of her outfit, not that I knew anything about fashion, but I knew that Riley looked beautiful, she always did. She was wearing a white spring dress with a simple design, and she was holding a bright clutch that seemed to resemble her cheerful personality perfectly.
"Hey Riley, you look beautiful," I said while smiling. She giggled a little, and smiled.
"Thanks! So do you."
"Thanks. Come on lets go," I said while linking my arm with hers.
"You never told me what we're doing," Riley pointed out.
"That's the point of a surprise date," I said while grinning mischievously at her. Riley rolled her eyes a little and let out a sigh.
"Okay, fine I'll wait for the surprise," I quickly realised that we couldn't just leave without greeting her mum or dad.
"I have to go say hi to your mum and dad."
"They're not here, my dad had to go to Hartford for a teacher's conference and my mum left for work 10 minutes ago." I sighed with relief; In all honesty sometimes her dad did scare me a little.
"You're scared of my dad aren't you?" Riley asked with a slightly amused tone.
"No I'm not scared of him at all," I insisted, "well maybe a little…" I stated nervously and Riley laughed faintly.
"I knew it," she said teasingly.
"Very funny," I responded sarcastically, and then I smiled at her.
"Can we leave now?" She asked.
"Yep," I tugged her away, excited for what I had planned.
"Can I see now?" Riley complained.
"Yeah okay," I responded while smiling. I pulled my hands away from her eyes. I had set up a table with two chairs, and situated next to the table was a small radio playing all of Riley's favourite love songs, at the time an Ed Sheeran song was playing. I pulled back her chair and Riley sat down. I went to sit across from her. I noticed that Riley looked a little puzzled, like she had no idea what was going to happen.
"Step one lunch," I stated while pushing a bowl of pasta towards her. I had kept it in the warming drawer, so it was still pretty warm. Riley's eyes lit up a little, and she smiled at me.
"If it's bad, we can go somewhere else to eat if you'll like? I made it from scratch so it may not be that good…" I trailed of nervously. Riley tasted it, and I looked at her tensely.
"So how was it?" I asked with the same nervous tone.
"Mmm, it's really nice and creamy!" She said while taking another bite. I sighed with relief and took a bowl for myself. I tasted it, and realised that she was right, it was really good. I couldn't believe that it actually tasted nice. I smiled a little to myself, and realised that for the past half an hour I hadn't even thought about the kiss with Maya, I really liked Riley and that was how I wanted it to stay.
"What are you thinking about?" Riley asked.
"Nothing, I'm just thinking about how much I'm gonna miss you when you go on vacation next week with your family." Even though that wasn't exactly what I was thinking about, I thought that it was a good save, and I wasn't exactly lying, I knew that I was going to miss her.
"Aww I'm going to miss you too. It'll only be a week though, and then I'll be back. Promise me you and Maya won't kill each other when I'm gone," she said while chuckling.
"I can't guarantee anything," I teased a little. I swallowed a lump in my throat and continued to eat. I was starting to think about the kiss again, and I didn't want to think about it.
"Is everything okay with you two? She seemed kind of weird yesterday; she kept staring into space and I don't think she even heard what I was saying half of the time. Did you do or say something to upset her?" 'Should I tell her?' I thought to myself. I finally decided on not telling her because despite the fact that the kiss was for acting purposes, I knew that it'd break her heart.
"No not really, just the Ryan guy is a jerk that was all."
"Oh right," she replied back doubtfully…A little while later we finished our dinner, and I stood up and went to take Riley's hand.
"What are we doing?" She asked while looking up at me and smiling slightly.
"We're gonna dance," she looked at me questionably.
"Dance? You hate dancing…"
"I don't /hate/ it; I'm just really bad at it. I do enjoy it though. It'll be romantic," I smiled widely, I was happy because I was finally getting my mind of things.
"Okay," she smiled and took my hand. She stood up and I played her favourite song closer by Coldplay. Slowly we fell into a slow dance with my hand on the small of her back, pulling her closer while her hand was on my shoulder. We rested our foreheads together, closing more space between us. I finally built the confidence to spin her out, so I did. She twirled out ever so perfectly, and I quickly twirled her around back toward me. She looked at me with a shocked and intense expression, and I quickly pecked her on the lips. I pulled away instantly regretting kissing her, yeah I had strong feelings for her, but I was confused about everything that had been going on, it didn't feel like the right time. 'Maybe I'm just not ready to be in a relationship yet,' I thought to myself.
"Are you okay?" Riley asked with a concerned expression plastered across her face, she also looked a little upset.
"Um yeah," I let go of her, and turned the radio off. I turned back toward her, and I prepared to speak. "Okay so, well I really like you, but I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship just yet. I mean we're only 13; do we have to be ready yet? I'm just confused about some things…"
"Yeah I get how you feel, but why ask me on a date if you don't want a relationship?" She asked with a slightly hurt and irritated expression.
"I didn't know then, I just realised today. And I'm sorry, I saw all these people with girlfriends and boyfriends, and thought that I needed to be your boyfriend."
"So you don't like me?" She asked vulnerably. I felt so guilty because that wasn't the case at all.
"No I do really like you, I also really value our friendship, and maybe our friendship could lead to something more without forcing it?"
"Yeah I understand," she said, trying to be straight faced, but I could tell that she was upset from the way that her lip was trembling. Riley walked back to the table and picked up her clutch. She looked back at me with an indifferent expression. "I think I'm just going to head back home now," she stated. I knew that she was trying to be strong, but I could tell that deep down she was upset. I felt terrible for hurting her, but a part of me felt relieved; I had been so confused and I knew that if I started to date her, I'd just end up hurting people.
"Are you sure? We can get frozen yogurt or something?" I asked hopefully. She turned to face me, and looked at me firmly.
"No. I wanna go home. I'll get my mum to pick me up so you don't have to walk me." I could tell just how hurt she was; she barley ever spoke in that tone.
"Riley, I don't want anything to change between us," I stated with a sorrowful expression.
"Aha," she replied, on the verge of tears. Riley sat down on the grass while fiddling with her phone. I went from behind to comfort her, but she pushed me away and I reluctantly gave up on comforting her. I packed up the equipment from the date, and for one last time, I decided to say something to Riley. I wanted to let her know that there was nothing wrong with her, and this was my fault.
"Riley I just want to let you know that you're beautiful inside and out. I do have feelings for you, I have for a while. You're always gonna be a princess to me, and I know this saying is used all the time in situations like these, but it really isn't you, it's me." Riley didn't reply, and I couldn't blame her. I knew that if I wasn't ready for a relationship then I should never have lead her on like I did, I felt pure guilt and sympathy for her. I took my equipment and slowly started to walk in the direction of my house.