Athrana (Wandering Shadow)

Chapter 14- Understanding

TA3018, December

Elrond stood silently watching until the last of the fellowship disappeared from sight. The valley had been uneasy the last couple of months and he didn't think it was entirely due to the rings presence. Something had changed, something was missing and he knew what it was. Athriel had left and not been back. Even his son's recent trip into the wilds had not brought her out of hiding. The lord of the valley was in two minds about the situation. Firstly he understood her need to keep hidden. He understood what she was trying to do, how she was attempting to protect her brother and the twins. But he also knew that she wasn't doing herself any good. He had left things be for a long time, keeping the truth from his oldest friends and from his own children. Something had to be done.

He was also sure that he wasn't the only one to know the secret. Glorfindel had been acting strangely ever since he had brought the hobbits out of the wild. It was as if he was grieving for the first time. There was only one thing that could trigger such a response in the great slayer. He had seen Athriel. There seemed to be no other explanation. Of all the elves in Imladris Glorfindel was the only one to have experienced death. He knew firsthand the peace that could be found in the Halls of Mandos. It would be more painful for him to learn that the elf he loved as a daughter was not there. Or more specifically that she had suffered so much and was still tormented by her ordeal.

Suddenly his mind was filled with memories of his dear wife, Celebrian, who had wished for death so many times while he tried to save her. She had even begged him to kill her, but he couldn't do it. Eventually he had sent her over the sea so that she could find peace there.

TA 2509

Elrond held his wife's hand tightly as pleaded weakly from the bed. "Please Elrond please. I can't go on. Please." He couldn't speak looking at the broken creature in front of him. Was it possible this was the same Celebrian he had married? Her wounds had been washed and treated, the poison leeched from her body but still she was in so much pain.

""Ada"" He spun around. Two identical faces stood in the doorway. They had hardly left their mother's side these last few weeks. He could see how exhausted they were even now, when they had been forced to rest by their friend. Athriel had dragged them away from her for their own good so many times Elrond had lost count.

He stood quickly. "Could you stay with your mother a moment boys... I ... I have to... I will be back in a moment." He practically ran from the room. He knew what he had to do. He had been putting it off for so long. Taking a deep breath he sat down behind his desk and wrote a letter to Cirdan. It was time Celebrian had peace once again.

"My lord?" Elrond opened his eyes but didn't turn around. How was he going to do this? How was he even going to broach the subject? "Elrond you asked to see me" He sighed. "Yes Glorfindel. I wanted to speak to you about something. Would you come to my office?" Together they walked silently through the corridors each thinking their own thoughts. When they finally reached the door Elrond opened it wide for his friend but still didn't say anything. Glorfindel walked in and sat down in front of the large desk. "What's wrong Elrond? You're starting to worry me"

"I am worried as well my friend" Elrond started. "And I know not where to begin" Glorfindel sat a little straighter in his seat. "What worries you" Elrond didn't sit down behind his desk; instead he sat on its edge so that he was directly in front of the golden slayer. "I have a lot of worries Glorfindel but at the moment my concern is for you" Glorfindel fidgeted in his seat. "You have no reason to be worried over me, I'm fine" Elrond raised an eyebrow. "No you're not and I am not the only one who has noticed it. Erestor seems still to believe that your odd behaviour is due to your delayed mourning, but I am not buying it. I think the only reason that Erestor still believes your story is because he does not wish to consider the possibility that you are hiding something from him." Glorfindel opened and closed his mouth a couple of times but could not think of anything to say. "Now I know you well my friend and can think of only one reason you would be keeping something from your mate. So tell me how long have you known she was alive?"

Glorfindel closed his eyes. So it was as he suspected. Elrond knew the truth and had probably had known for a long time. Suddenly so many things made sense. The strange remains so close to Rivendell, Elrond's reluctance to look into them until recently. "The question seems to be how long have you known Elrond? And why did you keep it quiet?" Elrond sighed and moved to look out of the window. "The same reason you do I presume" he said. "I don't want my sons to have to go through what I did, or Erestor. But we can't keep this quiet for much longer. She has not passed the borders recently and that worries me. I think perhaps she came too close to coming back. Her resolve is slipping and soon she'll have to decide whether she is going to stay away forever or come back home."

Glorfindel stood and walked over to the window so that they stood side by side. "What should I do Elrond? I am at a loss." He shrugged. "We can do nothing. We have to hope that at some point she comes back here and then we can try our hardest to convince her to reveal herself."