Note: I know it's a short chapter, but don't worry the next one will be up soon. And hopefully I will be back to my rapid posting in a couple of days. I usually have very detailed notes for each chapter, the last couple and the next few however I have been writing almost blind. Once I get back to the more detailed notes I should be able to write a lot faster. I also intend to update Nariel some more as soon both 'Athrana' and 'Nariel the Red' will be taking place on the same time scale.
Athrana (Wandering Shadow)
Chapter 15- Temptation of the dark
TA3018, December
Athrana watched as the fellowship left the valley. She had been trying to stay away for these last few weeks. It had been a hard task, especially when she had seen the twins leave on their scouting mission. Reluctantly she had let them go without following them. Instead she had done her best to keep the surrounding area free of the enemy.
She had another problem though at the moment. As the hobbit Frodo had walked past Athrana had experienced an over whelming urge to stop him. Something was calling to her and instinctively she knew what it was. There was a dark power surrounding the Halfling. A power that could mean only one thing. This tiny creature was the ring bearer. She had assumed as much while she had been watching the valley, but the dark pull confirmed it. She had a horrible urge to reach out and choke the life from the poor creature. Something deep and dark within her wanted to take the ring as her own.
Another instinct however warred within her. An instinct much older and more at home in her body. Her elven side recoiled from the ring. This was evil, pure evil and she didn't want it near her. She gripped the tree branch tightly as the group passed unsure which side would win. As they disappeared into the distance she breathed a sigh of relief.
This incident had been all the proof that she needed that there was a monster within her, though it also proved that the elf Athriel still lived. For long moments she pondered over which side was the more powerful. Did it matter? Was it enough that there was darkness inside her at all? Could she ever be whole enough to return home? And if she did would she be shunned by those she loved. Yes Glorfindel had accepted her and Estel had willed her to come home. But neither of them had seen the darkness. They had not seen what happened to her when she fought the orcs. Yes by now they would both have made the connection between her and the piles of corpses she created. But did they know what it meant. Did they realise how much it meant she had changed how much of the darkness there really was? How addicted she was to it?
Yes, that was the truth. What had started out as revenge had progressed over the years. As much as she hated it, and how it made her feel, she was addicted to the destruction she caused. She was addicted to the taste of their blood and the sound of their screams. How long would she be able to live without it if she went home? And what would happen when her family saw how much she needed it?
She needed advice, but she couldn't go to Rivendell to get it. She had to go somewhere else. Somewhere she could talk; to someone she knew and yet still maintain her distance from the valley. There was one elf she knew, one she trusted. He had helped her before such a long time ago. Helped her father when he finally felt the need to sail. She had only been a child the last time she had seen him, but she knew he could help now. And so she set off for the grey havens and for Cirdan.