Athrana (Wandering Shadow)

Chapter 18- Persuasion

TA3019, February

Elrond sat at his desk for a long time thinking. He had just left Arwen packing. He had finally convinced her to sail but now he wondered whether it really was the best thing for her. Was he being selfish? He wanted her to be safe but he also wanted her to be happy. He knew she loved Estel, and Estel loved her. That was another problem. He loved the mortal like a son but he had easily chosen Arwen over him. It would be easy to justify the decision in terms of blood. Of course he would choose his only daughters safety over his foster child. But Estel was the last of his mortal kin. The last link he had to Elros, his dead brother. And in the end was he helping anyone? Everything was so complicated.

There was another problem. While he had been talking to his daughter he had felt someone cross the border. Athriel was back. When he had spoken to Glorfindel all those weeks ago he had promised himself that if she ever came back he would find a way to convince her to come out into the open. But now that it came to it... Suddenly he could think of all the reasons he shouldn't interfere. Erestor was only now beginning to get over his grief. Seeing her alive again would send him crashing back down. Elrond could only imagine what she had been through. Yes he could guess. She obviously believed that it was better for them all to think her dead. And when she had first crossed into the valley 80yrs ago he had felt the change in her. But she was still Athriel. He could feel that too.

Then there were his sons. How would they react to seeing her again? They still felt guilt over her death. What would it do to them to know she had been tortured after they left her? Could he hide the truth from them forever? Glorfindel knew now and everyday Elrond saw the battle going on within him. Was he being selfish again protecting his sons from an unpleasant truth?

Should he be thinking about them at all, his children and his friends? The truth was Athriel was alive. No matter how much easier it may have been she didn't die that day. Eventually everyone would find that out. What would it do to them all then? Shouldn't he be thinking about her well-being as well? She would never be able to heal out there in the wild away from her own kind. What must she be thinking out there on her own in the dark? And what must she think of him? Hadn't he encouraged her to stay hidden all these years? She was not simple, she knew the depth of knowledge he had over his own lands. She would know that he knew her secret. And in all this time he had not tried to communicate with her. He had not once called her on her actions. His silence was confirmation of her thoughts. Yes, you should stay hidden, you should stay away. It is better for you to be dead.

Wait he had tried once. Once on a whim he had tried to bring her out into the open. Not long ago he had sent the twins out on an errand to investigate the orc massacres. He had known then that things had to change. He had sent them out, hoping they would discover for themselves what was going on. But she had been too quick for them. Too determined to keep her secret. But now. Her control was slipping. How else could she have revealed her presence to Glorfindel? Maybe now he could make up for his past silence.

His decision made Elrond stood up and walked to the balcony. Time to do something. He took a deep breath and 80yrs overdue... "Athriel?" Nothing. The wind blows quietly through the trees, but there is no other movement. "Athriel. I know you are out there child. I need to speak with you." Still nothing, but he can feel her nearby. "Athriel. My daughter leaves for Valinor tomorrow. Does she not deserve to know that you do not await her there?" There, he had heard something then. Not from outside but from his own rooms, movement near the other window. Elrond turned around to see a figure wrapped up in a long dark cloak by one of the shelves.

Athrana grinned when she saw the doll sitting on the shelf. It had sat here for years in Elrond's study, ever since Arwen had out grown it. She reached up and pulled it down. It had been hers first. Celebrian had given it to her not long after she had arrived.

TA 135

Athriel opened her eyes and looked up at the ceiling. It was different to the one she remembered. She turned her head. The room looked different to. She tried to remember where she was. Then she heard a voice. "My lady, what a wonderful surprise. Come in. Athriel is still asleep." Erestor. Now she remembered. She wasn't with her father anymore. He had gone. Now she lived with her brother Erestor in the big house. Glorfindel had brought her here on his horse the day before.

Quietly she climbed down from the bed that was much too big for her. She cringed slightly as her feet touched the cold floor. She quickly found her slippers and walked over to the door. Slowly she pulled it open and stepped into her living room. There was the door through to her brother's room.

The connecting door creaked as she opened it causing the two adults to look up. "Good morning Athriel." Erestor beamed. "Do you remember Lady Celebrian?" She nodded shyly. She remembered her from the night before. When she had met the twins. "Good morning Athriel. I brought you this." She handed Athriel a large doll with long black hair and a beautiful white dress. "Thank you" she said staring at it in wonder.

Elrond smiled. The doll had been given to them when Celebrian had been pregnant with the twins. As they were boys they had had no use for it until Athriel came along. "She was so excited about giving that to you. After seeing you that first night she rushed all round our rooms looking for it." Athrana put the toy back on its shelf. "It was never really meant for me" she said.

TA241

Athriel rushed through the corridors until she reached her rooms. She bolted through the door and then proceeded to rip the room apart. Where was it, she had to find it. Finally she saw a small pink leg sticking out from a pile of old clothes. There it was. She pulled out the doll that seemed far smaller than she remembered and flattened down its hair. There.

Sprinting she set off again down the corridor back the way she had come. Finally she reached the rooms belonging to Lord Elrond and Lady Celebrian. She opened the door and stood panting against the wall for a couple of seconds. "I found it" she proclaimed triumphantly. ""Found what?""The twins asked, not even looking up from where their mother sat holding their new baby sister. "The doll of course" Athriel laughed holding it up. Celebrian smiled softly. Elrohir walked over and snatched the doll away from her. "What this old thing? Come on Ree. I'm surprised it's still alive" She nudged him and took it back. "What's wrong with it?" Elladan stood on the other side of her and stole it a new. "Oh I remember this. Hey Roh, remember when we used to steal it and hide it up trees." They laughed together.

Athriel rolled her eyes snatching it back. She looked down at the doll in her hands. The dress was still white just not as white as it had been originally and the hair was a bit tangled. "Maybe I should get her a new doll. It's just. I thought it should be hers." Celebrian smiled. "That's a wonderful idea Athriel. I think she'll love it."

The doll had been Arwen's ever since. Athrana turned around. "What did you want to talk to me about?" She asked. She had no idea why she was here. She hadn't been inside the building since she left home all those years ago. And now here she was standing in Lord Elrond's office. "You cannot hide forever Athriel" She sighed. "I know"