...
Feelings have failed me, left me cold on this road to nowhere
Dreams are my saviour
save me now, cause I know I'm falling
..

Claire Speaks

Previous day

Staring at the clock, I willed the time to slow down. Already it was time for people to rise and get ready to go to their boring nine to five job, I hadn't been in a bed yet. My neck was aching and body felt a bit disjointed.

I couldn't help but think that if Adam hadn't have got the three of us together, would we have been as involved in this? I tried to think that I would have, sooner or later and it was better to be with a group such as this, a team. As Adam sat back, a smirk growing on his face as Ben spoke into the phone, I felt out of place. This was Bens uncle, family to him and Jesse and Adam had obviously been through a lot together which makes them more brothers than anything. Then there was me, the only link I had to them was the fact that Bens father helped lead mine to his death.

'Dad?' Bens voice almost broke around that word an I dropped my eyes, knowing that at any minute I would give anything to speak to mine. Quietly getting to my feet I gave Adam a small smile, gesturing to Ben who was still quiet on the phone, his back to us as he focused all his attention onto the small black device. Adam nodded, getting to his own feet and following me out.

'Have you had his number the whole time?'
Adam shrugged, pointing to the coffee pot. I shook my head as Adam filled his mug with the black liquid.
'Why didn't you give it to him the first moment you saw him?'
'If I gave you your mothers number the second you walked through my door, what would you have done?'
I sighed heavily, he did have a point. Rubbing the back of my neck, I was torn between staying up and chatting with Adam more about my mother or resting my heavy head on my hard pillow.
'Would you like to speak with her?'

I felt my eyes become wide, but at what I wasn't entirely sure myself; the fact that Adam had a way to contact her or that he would even ask if I wanted to speak to her.
'You have to speak with her, Claire, especially with the world heading the way it is.'
That was a good point but I bit my lower lip, trying to force back down all the lovely memories of conversations that I had with my mother.
'Who are you?' I asked, partly frustrated from lack of sleep and the fact my mother was brought up in the conversation. 'You have no right to even mention my family.'

Stung, Adam sat back into a chair, sipping at his coffee before he realised it was missing something and added a dash of something from his flask. I rolled my eyes, taking the flask from his hand and taking a gulp, the liquid burning deliciously down my throat and warming my stomach.
'I'm sorry.'
'No you're right-'
I groaned, taking another gulp before handing it back with a smile.
'No I'm not. Don't say things like that, they'll go to my head.'
Adam chuckled and gave me a salute with his flask.

Glancing back into the lounge room, Ben no longer visible I watched Jesse on the lounge for a few minutes.
'I'll check on him when I get up.'
'No rush. Get some sleep.'
Nodding I unsteadily made it up the stairs to the room, collapsing onto the mattress heavily and I think I was asleep before I could even get comfortable.

It was dark when I woke.
Rubbing my head, I tried to rub away the pain that seemed to be splitting it in half. An awful taste was in my mouth and I struggled to roll onto my back.
Did I even get any sleep?

Groaning I managed to reach into my pocket, pulling out my phone and string at the screen for a minute or two, waiting for my eyes to correct themselves. Six am? I was asleep for an hour! Contemplating about getting up, I knew I had survived on less and decided to head down and check on Jesse.

Sneaking towards stairs, I shivered as it got cooler. I tried to keep quiet as I past Bens room but I could hear him shuffling about. Not wanting to disturb him I managed to get down the stairs without a sound, well perhaps my stomach growling. Kitchen was the first port of call and finding my way to the coffee pot in the dark, I found a note stuck to it and pulled out my phone.

Coffee in the pantry and sandwiches are in the fridge. Didn't want to wake you today so see you tomorrow.
Adam

Today? Did that mean that I had slept nearly twenty four hours? My stomach growled in confirmation and I happily opened the fridge and chomped down a few of the finely cut ham sandwiches, washing it down with a glass of water, too lazy to put on any coffee. I stretched out and poured another glass, carrying it quietly to the lounge room where Jesse was still lying on the lounge, but he didn't look comfortable.

Resting the glass on the table I walked over to Jesse and pulled the blanket off him, his chest was sweating and for a moment I worried that his fever had returned but I checked his forehead. Not abnormal but whatever he was dreaming of must have been. He was mumbling in his sleep, his head tossing to and fro and I fought the urge to wake him up. Sitting down myself, I kept my eyes on him as he slowly settled and just allowed my mind to wonder.

All I could think of was my mother and how I may not actually see her again. Some part of me was sad at that point but I tried to shut it away; I couldn't have those feelings. If I remember correctly, she was the one that drove me away, lead me to become the person I am today as she remained trapped in a place and time that had no escape, no freedom. Of course there had been many times I thought about jumping on my bike and going to the home to see her, but what would I say? What would she say? I only had one option and that was to kill the creature that ruined our lives, then go to her and tell her that, not that I have been living in a house with three men hunting things that lurked in the dark; the home might keep me in there.

I rubbed my eyes, trying not to fall asleep again. At least last night I didn't have my nightmare the whole time, falling endlessly before collapsing into an ocean of fire; the other half was stupid memories that I had tried to forget. Not any bad things, they are the ones I try to cling to, keep me hungry for the job that I do but the good things, like precious moments spent with my family. If only there was some way I could eradicate them completely.

Sighing I watched as Jesse calmed once again, wondering what he was dreaming about. Lord only knew what sort of memories he had to compete with, a life of being something more than human but less than a monster. I didn't care to be honest, he was a good man and I have not yet had a feeling that he would do anything to jeopardise what we were hoping to achieve, as impossible as it was.

He was handsome when he was calm, I can say that, at least I hope that he couldn't mind read me in his sleep. I couldn't remember Jesse mentioning his parents, but then again how would he know them? A mother or father for a demon and a parent that would be eternally mentally scared by it, he had it worse than all of us, almost.

He sat up suddenly, eyes staring right through me and I almost jumped out of my seat, startled.
'Jesse?'
He turned and held his head in his hands, and I got to my feet, was he in pain? I slowly moved over to him, not wanting to startle him and gently put my hand on his shoulder, ready to offer him a glass of water.

Angry eyes flared as they looked up at me and I have to admit, I was terrified and dropped the glass.

Current

Half a bottle of whatever alcohol it was that was in the glass I was holding, I closed my eyes, rubbing at my neck gently; I wouldn't be surprised if it bruised. Jesse was explaining things more thoroughly with Adam, and practising sleeping with his guard up; the last thing we needed was a possessed Jesse strangling everyone.

All this information, it was weighing heavily over the house and I could swear I could hear the walls creaking from it, the air haunted with the knowledge and duty of what the four of us were needing to do, what we were dealing with. Adam had tried to contact other hunters, but most of them weren't answering their phones, or returning calls so we had to fear the worst. Others were doing just that, refusing to even lend a bullet in the whole matter; cowards. Others thought that they were better off in smaller groups, tackling from the outside, but we knew that whatever attack was going to happen needs to be in the heart of it all. Problem was, what would the attack be?

I knew I wasn't too far away from slipping into some sort of alcoholic induced sleep when I heard the front door click.

'Ben?'
I twisted around in my chair to see around the wall, Ben pausing in his exit; dressed ready to go and his bag slung over his shoulder.
'Hey Claire, didn't see you there.'
I got to my feet, moving around to stand behind him, looking over his shoulder to the bright day outside.
'Case?'
There was a bit of a silence from him and I folded my arms, not trying to be aggressive or anything, I was feeling a bit light headed.
'Something like that, I'm heading off for a while.'
'I'll come with you…?' I changed my tone half way to a question as I saw his eyes drop and he moved to stand on the porch. I made sure my eye brow was raised as I narrowed my eyes in confusion, trying to figure out what he was doing. Did it have something to do with his father? Was he heading off to see him? It would be safer here, for one with Jesse around we were practically hidden from a lot of the things that were wanting to rip or throats out.

'Where? Why?' I asked, hoping to get an answer out of him but I think I already knew what he would say and do before I even worded my questions.
'I'm sorry.'
Ben just took another step back, shaking his head as I tried to reach for him. Was it nerves? Was he afraid? I didn't want to jump to conclusions but there was really no other reason for him to be running off without telling anyone and I was hurt. Ben shifted on his feet before he turned and practically jogged to his car, throwing his bag in and starting the engine. With one last long stare at each other, I dropped my head and turned away, not moving again until I heard that engine disappear down the road and out of sight.

I felt more upset and angry than I thought I would; we were a team, I had just got used to that idea and comfortable and hopeful even with everything going on. I felt shattered now, doubts creeping in and I shut the door quietly behind me. Adam and Jesse were in front of me, eyes questioning and I just pointed to the door.
'Ben left.' It sounding strange on my lips and the realisation of that hit me hard and I moved past the guys, heading up to my room, leaning back on the door. After everything we had been through, he was just going to up and leave without a simple explanation?

I was a fool, I knew how to pick them didn't I? I slammed my fist into the door, glad that the pain in my fist distracted me long enough to properly think through the idea of tracking him down and dragging him back. If he didn't want to be here, if there was no reason for him to stay, then he could remain gone. Sinking to the floor, I cursed that I had emotions, sometimes it would be easier to just detach ones self from them in a job like this, nothing was simple enough to cope with and I could feel the mix of my emotions and alcohol forcing tears from my eyes. I was tougher than this, I didn't need a man to feel strong, to carry on with everything; I had done just find for years without Ben. Nothing was serious, just a small crush physically.
My eyes slipped closed, only to be consumed by a burning fire and a soft voice lulling me deeper, closer to the edge.

A shrill ring tone saved me and I crawled across the short distance to my bed, hoping that it was Ben but frowned when I did see the caller ID.
'Yes Lance, sorry I haven't called for-'
''Claire…''
I knew that tone and I immediately got to my feet. It was silent on the other end and I could feel my heart pound in my chest.
'Lance, what is it?' Still there was nothing and I pressed a hand to my forehead, not knowing what to do. 'Lance, honey come on speak to me.'
A shaky breath was on the other end and I could feel the tension and fear seep through the phone as Lance whispered quietly.
''I think I am going to die.''

Why would Lance think that? Is Ben gone for good?

Let me hear your thoughts!

Silver-Kirin
xXx