Athrana (Wandering Shadow)

Chapter 23- Portrait

TA3019, February

Three days, she had been back for three days. She stood on her balcony looking out onto the gardens. It felt so odd to stand here, as if she didn't belong. Everything felt familiar and yet out of place at the same time. Her things had stayed the same but she had changed. She turned back to the room and her gaze landed on the dressing table. She had refused to let Erestor replace the broken mirror. It wasn't worth it. In fact she had insisted that any other mirrors in her rooms were removed. She couldn't stand to look at her face, not yet.

She supposed it had something to do with the combination of images. At the moment she stood in one of her old dresses. It was strange enough seeing her scarred arms poking out of the sleeves. She didn't think she could take the sight of her face above the collar.

"Good morning Athriel" She turned. Erestor. He had been her rock these last few days. A reminder of why she had come back and a banishment of her fears of rejection. Erestor refused to treat her any differently now that she was back. It was as if he didn't see the marks that covered her entire body, didn't notice that her once long hair was missing. To him she was still his little sister.

Erestor was carrying a pile of clothes in his arms. "I picked you up some more clothes Ree. You've lost a lot of weight since you've been away." Did he really not see what else had changed or was he in denial. Riding on his relief to see her alive. "Erestor?" He looked at her as he dropped the pile onto the bed. "Yes?" Athrana sat cross-legged on the mattress and patted the space beside her. Frowning he sat. "What is it?" She took one of his hands in hers. "Can you actually see me Res? I mean can you see how much I've changed? Can you see the marks?" Erestor sighed. "They don't matter Athriel. Yes I can see them. And I know what they did to you. But you're the same person inside. I know it. You're my sister, and I'd know you anywhere. You're back where you belong now." He traced the dark blue lines on her hand. "One day these marks will fade and the scars will go. But it will take a long time. And I'm going to be here the whole time." Athrana nodded with tears in her eyes. Cirdan was right. Erestor was a lot stronger than he seemed.

Glorfindel reached up and removed the picture from its hook. He had wanted to do this for weeks, ever since he learned that Athriel was alive. Now he could finally move her portrait from the long gallery and hang it back where it belonged, in her rooms. He smiled as he reached her door. It was unlocked. After all these years the door from Athriel's rooms to the corridor was unlocked. Struggling slightly with the door and the frame at the same time Glorfindel shuffled into the living room and headed straight for the fireplace.

Athrana walked out into the living room when she heard the front door close. She smiled seeing Glorfindel but her face slipped when she saw the picture. The picture of how she used to be. "Much better" Glorfindel said standing back to admire his handy work. He turned to gage her reaction and stopped. "Athriel?" He looked back at the picture and then back at her. "Do you want me to take it down?" he asked.

He didn't want to take it down, but he would. She had been so confused when she had seen it gone her first night back, but that was before the mirror incident. He should have known. She didn't want to see her own reflection, why would she want to see her likeness every day. A reminder of how she used to look. Personally Glorfindel was getting used to the way she looked now. The first time he had seen her like this he had been shocked, but he had known that Athriel was still there underneath. Her scars where an unpleasant reminder of what had happened to her, that was all. A diary of her torture. He had found it very difficult at first to see her like this, but now he managed to actually see her. Between them he and Erestor had tried to act as normal as possible, while still letting Athriel know that she could talk to them, whenever she needed it. They found it difficult, but that was nothing compared to what she was going through. Athriel stood up straight suddenly. "No, no it's fine. Leave it there."

Athrana stared at her likeness for a long time. Sometimes it was hard to believe she was the same person. Everything had been so simple then. A few years before her majority Erestor had finally conceded to let her begin her warrior training. Unknown to him at the time, she had actually been getting lessons in secret from Glorfindel for years. The portrait had been Erestor's way of saying that he was proud of the path she had chosen, despite his earlier protests. She remembered her first official day on the training ground.

TA 176

Athriel made her way slowly towards the group of warrior gathered on the field. She was a little nervous, this being her first day of official training, but she wasn't going to show it. Not a chance. Especially as the twins also had training that day. As she neared the group she spotted Glorfindel on the edge of the group. He turned to his warriors and addressed. "Listen up, this morning we have a new recruit joining us this morning. Lady Athriel will be joining our group." There were some raised eyebrows but no one was disapproving. It was not usual for Elleth to become warriors, but it was not unheard of either.

Elladan and Elrohir turned to face her as she approached and burst out laughing. She frowned as she stood next to them. "What's so funny?" She asked. Elrohir leant forward as if to whisper but kept his voice so that everyone could hear. "You're wearing a dress Athriel." Elladan laughed loudly at her expression before adding his opinion. "You can't fight like that!" She huffed. "I bet I can beat you dress or not" She said confidently but Elladan scoffed. "You can't fight in a dress"

Glorfindel rolled his eyes as one of the other warriors voiced his opinion. "You could always take it off Lady Athriel, we wouldn't mind" There was a chorus of approval from the group. They settled down however when the Balrog Slayer cleared his throat. "Well, although I am reluctant to encourage this behaviour I am quite tempted to see Athriel knock you on your ass Elladan"

As the two of them wrestled a figure approached from his hiding place by the trees. "What is she doing Fin?" Erestor asked as she approached. "She is fine Erestor. And I am not even going to pretend to be surprised by your presence." The advisor stood with his arms crossed. "If she is hurt Glorfindel, I will hold you personally responsible." The slayer laughed.

"No Fair" Elrohir shouted as his pinned to the ground. "Glorfindel, Athriel is wearing leggings under her dress." Sighing Glorfindel turned to the group. "Elladan never specified that she couldn't wear them. He merely said she couldn't fight in a dress." Athriel's dress was split all the way up on both sides to give her free movement revealing her dark leggings underneath. Suddenly Elrohir jumped in to help his brother but was quickly knocked to the ground.

"You've been training her in secret Findel" Erestor chastised. "And you my dear councillor I would wager where the one who insisted she wear a dress to training." Athriel stood triumphantly and helped the laughing twins to their feet.

Athrana sighed. Things really had been so easy then. She wished she could go back in time to that moment. But that wasn't going to happen. She walked slowly back onto her balcony and watched as three horses rode towards the house. It was Arwen and her brothers and judging by the speed they were moving things were about to get a lot more complicated.