She had chosen the restaurant where she wanted to be to discuss with him, but she wasn't as relaxed as she would have wanted. Jesse stated daily events in which Rachel was invited. She had to make an appearance on the red carpet with the cast of Funny Girl for Emmys Awards and the Golden Globes, and of course for Tonys Awards. This kind of event was a good way for Rachel to meet his public and to be a place in the world of show business. Jesse knew she was waiting impatiently this time and didn't understand his lack of interest in what he was talking about him. She was also rummaging through her salad, good for twenty minutes.
" We'll ask Isabel to take care of your outfits. Rachel ? "
She looked up from his plate.
" Are you okay ? "
She had not listened to a word he was saying.
" Of… ? "
Jesse capitulated.
" Ok, I give up ! I can know what is happening ? "
" Nothing… "
What would she say ? I'm going crazy ? I see my ex in the middle of the living room while he is in another state ?
" Maybe it's the problem ! " Jesse looked into his eyes.
" What ? "
" Rachel, look at your life ! "
She blushed and felt like slapping him.
" Jesse, I have exactly the life I dreamed of. I live in the city where everything is possible, I'm headlining the hit musical of the year, and I was offered gold contracts for the future ... And you say it happens nothing in my life ! I should, perhaps, change manager ...! "
The Jesse stared at him. She was happy to have him upset. Jesse could take care of his career, but they had a deal. He was not, ever, get involved in her private life.
" Ouch ...! You're horrible ! But as bad as you are, I have to tell you that your life is like a dessert ... "
" Jesse ! "
" Fire me, do what you want, but before I will finish what I have to tell you ! Your life is modeled on an agenda which I hold overnight. Everything is planned hour by hour. You always see the same people, live with the same people ... "
" Oh but I can change that ! "
" You could live elsewhere than in this dingy loft with a gay and a lesbian who you fights you every day ..."
" I… "
" You could go to all these galas to which you're invited, and you ..."
Jesse raised his hand forbidding him to put one.
"... Could go out with sexy guy on the planet ! " He paused, before continuing more slowly. " Rachel, as talented as you are, you deserve to live otherwise than as a robot. Are you really enjoy on this life ? "
" This life, I dreamed since I was four. I fought for that, I worked hard, and I made painful sacrifices ... So today, I would not change it for the world, and if ... "
Jesse looked pinched a smile on the lips because it was interrupted by the ringing of his cell.
" Yes ? Kurt ! You many graves, I have a quick question for you. Do you think my life is boring? "
Kurt had mocked him by answering "deadly dull ! ".
" Kurt ! Ok, what do you want ? "
Santana had insisted on returning for the evening of New Year's Eve and had embarked Blaine with it. Kurt fair warned they would return sooner than expected and that he expected her to join them and party.
" Okay, let me take care of it ! You will see that I know have fun! "
She hung up on hearing Kurt laugh.
" Prepare to attend the party of the century ! "
Jesse looked at her without understanding.
" You will help me organize a celebration that will be both the last of my life "deadly dull" and the first of my new life ! "
Jesse was more than a starter.
" It included extremely sexy guys ! "
" Extremely ! "
Rachel raised her glass of red wine.
" Let's drink to change ! "
Jesse raised his glass in turn.
" A new Rachel !? "
Their glasses clinked when Rachel's smile froze. It began again.
Finn Hudson.
Just before her, she saw Finn again. This man sat at the next table talking on the phone, it was Finn. Yet she knew it was not possible.
A second later, a heartbeat, it was gone. Once again.
She swallowed, as if to feel alive.
" Rachel ? "
She untied her look, this man become a mere stranger, to ask his eyes on Jesse.
" You look all weird ...! "
She smiled, because "weird" seemed an understatement. Mad, this is what she became. Why then she decided to take her life, her past playing tricks on her?
" I'm fine ..." she lied.
Jesse went on with their discussion on the organization of the evening. Rachel listened but kept nothing. His thoughts were still focused on Finn. What was happening?