…
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did, you fell so hard.
..

Ben Speaks

'You got your mothers hair,' Dean chuckled, sitting down with a cup of coffee, 'my eyes. Glad you turned out half decent on the eyes kid.'
I tried not to be insulted; I just leant back on the wall, eyes constantly flickering between Dean and the stairs, waiting for Jesse to come down so we could go.
'Thanks old man.'

There was a few minutes where we were both silent, Adam leaving the room and I wished he hadn't. Anger coiled itself in my stomach and I crossed my arms when Dean looked up at me. I wanted to yell at him, there was so much I could kick his ass for but I was thrown off by the fact that he was here, I could finally speak to him, talk to him, my father.

'How long have you been hunting for?'
I chuckled at the question, looking down at my feet.
'That's the first question you want to ask me?'
Dean sighed, gulping down the hot coffee before rubbing his hands together.
'What do you want me to ask?'
I glared up at him, disappointed.
'How about you start with; how have you been all these years without me contacting you, without half of your memories?'
Dean frowned now, but like the weak man I could remember he hung his head, just allowing even more guilt to be weighed onto his shoulders. Why couldn't he be a man, he finally finds out I am his son but still he doesn't know what to do.

'Ben, I am sorry for what I did, but it was the only thing I could think of that would protect you and your mother.'
I scoffed.
'Fat lot of good it did, I still grew up to be a hunter, even without my memories at that time. Guess it really is in the blood.'
Dean stood up from the chair, anger behind his eyes now and I smirked.
'And Mum? I think she died of a broken heart. There was always something that was hollow in us after that, made worse with the fact I was sent off to a war. Then I returned to find her dead and a whole different war in my own backyard, one that not a lot of people know about. What have you been doing all this time?' I stepped towards him threateningly, raising an eyebrow in question, 'carrying on hunting, drinking yourself to death and sleeping with skanks? You didn't do what you did to protect us, you just couldn't live a life where you were tied down to one woman and a pathetic little runt.'

It felt to get it off my chest, but once it was said, out in the air and never able to be taken back, I felt a new weight on me and I watched Deans face twist with something caught between heartache and rage.
'What I did, Benjamin, has been haunting me for years. I knew it was wrong but I didn't have a choice!' he wiped at his stubbled chin and once again I felt like a small boy sitting at the kitchen table being told off for trying to sneak to a friend's place for a sleep over.
'This life is not one that you can easily turn on or off. You make enemies and friends, enemies that want nothing more than to hurt you in any possible way and friends that count on you, that you owe everything to.'
He stood in front of me now, fist clenched like he wanted to hit me but he smiled, a sad laugh escaping his chest.
'You're just like your mother.'

I could feel my face soften as I felt reality hit me. All this time, I had wanted to be like my father, to be the best hunter out there but I realised then and there I never wanted to be like him. My thoughts turned to Claire, beautiful and someone I couldn't bear to lose; did I really want to be like Dean there? To give up on her, to bring nothing but more ache in my life?

'I'm sorry Dean.'
He shook his head, grabbing my shoulders tightly and pulled me to him. I was hesitant but then embraced my father, knowing that things weren't as hard to fix as I may have thought before.
'Me to kid; me to.'
Someone coughed behind us and Dean pulled away from me, Adam bringing in the coffee pot and a bottle of Beam.
'Good to see some things cleared up.'
'I think it's gonna take some time to hear all of this one's tall tales.' Dean said, jabbing a finger at me. I pushed his shoulder as he moved to help himself to a shot glass, myself peering towards Jesses room; wondering what it was exactly he was doing and pulled out my phone, dialling Claires number with no success.

'Everything alright?'
I shook my head, Dean looking a bit concerned.
'Not really, no. I've been hunting a while now, but the last couple of months I've had a partner, and then a third in the last few weeks.'
Dean looked at Adam, who just shrugged and patted Pearls.
'I managed to locate Claire and Ben, brought them here for some sort of "base" rather than just driving.'
Raising an eyebrow, I knew that look that Dean was giving me.
'Claire as in a Frenchman or Claire as in a really hot stripper-'
'Dean!' I whined, rubbing my forehead nervously; if only he knew the half of it.

Luckily I didn't need to do any more explaining; Jesse standing in front of me with eyes intense enough that I forgot everything, embarrassment replaced with cold hard fear.
'We have a problem.'
'Where is she?'
Jesse just shook his head, grabbing some things from the front door. Dean was sharing a glance with Adam, obviously a bit shaken by Jesses sudden appearance. As Jesse came back into the room, mumbling something about standing still, he noticed Dean and gave an apologetic grin.
'Dean this is Jesse Turner.'
'How did you… Turner?' you could almost hear his mind as it worked it over, going through his memories. 'The kid that thought popping candy and soda mixed together was deadly?'
Something fell over Jesse but he grinned slightly, nodding his head.
'One and the same. Ben we have to go now.'

I left Jesse and Dean to speak, the tension tight between them and I wondered where along the lines Dean had met Jesse; was he hunting him? I scooped up my duffle bag, not sure what to be expecting so everything was coming with us. I made sure I had a knife ready and my gun loaded, throwing the bag onto my back and heading back into the room, Jesse giving me a nod.
'Ready?'
I returned the nod, standing beside him and shrugging when Dean looked at me questioningly.
'Claire may be in trouble.' I tried to smile and a Jesse touched my shoulder, I regrated again leaving without a proper chat with my father, but was a chat really needed? Besides, all I wanted right now was to make sure that Claire wasn't in any immediate danger; Dean and I had waited for more than a couple of years, it could wait a few more but I wasn't waiting around for something bad to happen to Claire, even if one day it meant that I ended up like my father.
'Catch you later?'

At that everything shifted around me, it felt like my stomach was in my throat and before I could close my eyes, we were standing outside a building. I swayed on my feet, my head slowly turning around to stare at Jesse who took a step back from me, hands out to steady me if I got too bad.
'I don't think I like doing that…' I gaged but the nausea in my stomach settled quickly and I rubbed my eyes, shaking my head as I made sure all of me was here, bag and guns also.
'Sorry, I didn't know it would be that bad for you, Claire seemed alright when-'
'You've done this with Claire?' Jealousy bubbled beneath my rib cage but I put up a hand to stop him from answering, instead just ran a hand through my hair that needed a haircut and marched towards the building.

'Right, so Claires in here somewhere?'
Jesse nodded, too busy focusing on the brown building to give me a verbal answer. There were a few shops across the road behind us, the main street busy with cars and I scratched my chin; why would she be here, in daylight?
'You said that there was a problem…?'
'There is something in there with her,' he mumbled and instantly my worry grew. I knew she was tough but bloody hell, she couldn't answer her phone?
At that thought I called again, still no answer as I walked along the building to try and find a door but there wasn't any. I ended up back beside Jesse, confused as I watched him reach out and touch the red brick.
'There's no doors, what kind of building doesn't have doors?'
'There wouldn't be, whatever is in there doesn't want to be disturbed.'

'Alright then, care to share with the class Mr Turner?'
Turning back to face me, Jesse was concentrating on something but still managed to actually look at me as he gave me an answer.
'I think Angels have Claire.'

Forgive me, I know it is brief and probably not what you were hoping for between Ben and Dean but when I have time I will go back over it. My head feels like it is splitting in two and my eyes being poked by needles.
Happy Australia day any way!

Silver-Kirin
xXx