AUTHORS NOTE: Hey People! So here is my explanation as to why this is being updated now and not a month ago like I originally planned to. I had about half of this chapter written, but being my stupid self I didn't back it up on my flash drive and the computer that I'm typing on now got a virus. I was able to update a couple of my other stories with my old laptop but I wanted to wait and see if they could save my new computer with this chapter on it but they had to wipe the whole thing out….and it took them about 3 weeks to do that and I'm in college so it was a pain in the ass.
But anyway here is your next chapter of The Secrets Out! It didn't turn out exactly like I wanted it to in the first place but hey, I had to re-write the whole thing. After this chapter there will either be 1 or 2 more chapters then the sequel will start!
P.S. I know you guys think I'm evil for killing Deans daughter, but there IS going to be a sequel for this story….hmmm…..maybe there will be an appearance by someone who's name starts with "L"?
Chapter 23. Brother. Sam's Pov. 3 weeks later.
"He won't listen to me Dad." I say tiredly before taking a sip of beer. Dad looks me right in the eye.
"Well you and me are leaving tomorrow Sam and I refuse to have this family be torn apart because of what you did." He points his finger above him.
"I've been trying to talk to him for the last two weeks; he won't listen to me. I mean it's a fucking miracle that he's actually letting me near his kids while he's in the room." About three weeks ago I woke up in the middle of the night because of my leg cramping up so I got up to get water. As I was walking past the nursery I heard muffled crying and Deans defeated voice trying to comfort his sons. I walked into the room and asked Dean if he needed any help and I was surprised when he actually handed me one of his sons and a bottle, telling me to feed him while he changed the other. After that night I was allowed to interact with his kids, but never without him in the room.
"I made some mistakes to Sam." Dad says, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest. "I wasn't there for him after he was attacked, and the night after he found out what he was having I abandoned him while he was sleeping." He takes a deep breath, guilt flooding his eyes. "The whole time I was with you I felt horrible for what I did, and I was sick with worry...God I tried calling him a few times to check how he was doing, but I'd cancel the call before it could go through." He shakes his head. "I know that my relationship with Dean won't ever be the same because of what I did, but at least I know that we're trying to get past this."
"I feel horrible about what I did, I mean I can't…" I drift off, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Just…I need to fix this; I can't lose my brother, and I can't lose my nephews."
"Well you better do something quick Son." Bobby's voice comes from behind me. I turn my head to look at him as he continues. "He's giving the boys a bath right now and the best way to talk to him will be while he's doing something he can't run away from." I nod my head and stand up from the table. "Bring this with you." He says as I walk towards him, handing me to of the boys little outfits. "He's gonna need someone to help him."
"Thanks Bobby." I say quietly and he gives me a hard look.
"I'm not doing this for you Sam, Dean needs his brother and it's about time that you got your head out of your ass." I nod my head in agreement, thanking god that Bobby has been there for Dean when me and my dad weren't.
I walk up the stairs slowly, mentally preparing myself; this is going to be hard and I need to be prepared for anything Dean can throw at me. As I step onto the landing I hear Deans voice coming from the bathroom and I grin, walking towards the open door quietly so I can watch him for a moment. He's sitting on the ground in the middle of the bathroom. He has a basinet filled with water sitting in the bath tub and a carrier with a half awake child sitting next to him.
"See the water's nice and warm isn't it buddy?" Dean asks, his voice filled with love and fondness as he gently rubs the baby's head with a cloth. "The bath's pretty awesome huh?" I watch him interact with his kids for a few more seconds, smiling at the sight. How could I ever question his parenting skills? I mentally ask myself. He's a natural Dad with these kids… I knock on the wall gently to get Deans attention and he turns his head to look at me.
"Uh, Bobby said that you needed some help." He looks at me for a few moments, using one of his hands to gently tickle Elliot's stomach.
"Ok." He says quietly after biting his lip nervously. "Robby's almost done so I'll need you to get him dry and ready for bed." I nod, coming into the bathroom and sitting down on the closed toilet seat.
"So, how're they liking it?" I ask after a few moments of awkward silence.
"Better than last time." He answers, his eyes never leaving Robert. "They really hated the water the last few times, but now they're really starting to like it." He lifts Robert out of the water and chuckles at the baby's scrunched up face. "Hey enough with that face; we're gonna get you all nice and dry in a moment." Dean says with a small smile. Roberts face instantly relaxes as Dean looks over towards me. "You ready?" he asks and I nod, grabbing a towel from the counter top next to me and holding it out. Dean places Robert in my ready hands gently, and I instantly wrap the towel around his small body to dry him off.
I watch Roberts face closely as I carefully dry his head; his eyes staring into mine with a small scowl as if to say 'stop staring at me and say what you gotta say to my Daddy asshole'. I swallow the lump in my throat nervously as I stand up.
"Dean, um….can I talk to you?" I ask as I set Robert down on the blanket laid out over the counter.
"Sure." He says while rubbing some baby shampoo onto Elliot's head.
"Um…I've been thinking…a lot." I start out, grabbing a diaper from one of the drawers for Robert to wear.
"And?" he asks, and I look over my shoulder to see him looking at me with slightly narrowed eyes.
"Just." I'm silent as I finish getting the diaper on Robert before I answer. "I'm sorry." I say quietly, feeling Deans presence to the left of me. I bring my head up to look in the mirror to see Dean standing about 2 feet away from me with Elliot in his arms; gently drying him off as he watches my reflection in the mirror. "I know that I hurt you, and I know that I insulted your kids." I take the little green onesie from the pile of baby clothes to dress Robert in. "Like you said you raised me, and even though I hate how we lived you raised me the best you could." I move over a little so Dean can get Elliot ready for bed. "I mean I saw how you were so excited to have these little guys while you were still pregnant, and now that they're here…" I trail off, looking over to see how careful Dean is with Elliot. "You're a natural parent Dean, and I had no right to even question how you'd raise them."
"Are you done Sam?" He asks as he starts to dress Elliot in a blue onesie.
"After everything you've been through you deserve these kids, and it wasn't fair for me to take my anger out on you…I was just…" I trail off, not knowing what to say exactly.
"You were just what?" he finishes dressing Elliot and he gently lifts him into his arms.
"Jealous." I follow him into the nursery and watch him as he sits down in his rocking chair, reaching him right arm out towards me to place Robert into. Once he's cradling both babies in his arms he rocks back and forth slowly to lull his boys to sleep.
"Jealous that my kids…well two of them lived?" he asks, his breath hitching painfully at the mention of his dead baby girl, and I nod.
"Just…I was, and I am, still getting over Jess and the baby's death and then I saw that you were pregnant and something in my mind just snapped." I run my hand over my face. "You didn't deserve it."
"No I didn't." he says; his voice quiet yet serious. He looks down to see that both of his sons are asleep. "You have no idea what I went through." He stands up carefully and walks over to the two cribs, placing each of his children in their respective cribs and bending over to kiss their heads before turning towards me. "Hallway." He says sternly.
"Dean…" I start when he closes the door behind him.
"No Sam." He grabs onto my shoulder and pushes me into my room, closing the door behind him. "Now you're going to let me fucking talk." Finally! I think to myself. He's not avoiding me anymore.
"All our lives it was always "Sam this" and "Sam that" and that was fine, I kinda saw you like a brotherly son person anyway so it didn't matter to me much. But when I needed Dad the most he fucking left me to go to you Sam, YOU!" he bites out, pointing his finger dangerously close to my face. "I was fucking raped Sam! Do you know how much that changes a person like me? I was this fearless hunter, and then I let my guard down for one fucking moment and boom!" he slams his hands together and I take a step back. "And then I find out that I'm a carrier and pregnant with triplets and I was fucking terrified…" he trails off, looking defeated.
"I'm sorry Dean I-" he cuts me off.
"I just wanted you to be there for me once in your fucking life, and when I needed you the most all you cared about was your fucking self." He shakes his head and walks over to the bed, dropping himself down onto it like a marionette strings being cut. "And then you said those things about my kids…"
"Dean." I say, sitting down next to him. "I can't even begin to imagine what you've had to go through." I turn my head to the side to look at him. "And what I did was horrible, but me and Dad are leaving to go on a hunt tomorrow and I don't wanna lose you." His gaze never leaves the floor but I can tell that he's listening to me. "I lost you when I decided to go to Stanford and cut all ties with you and Dad, and I don't wanna lose you now." His head comes up a little bit. "I know that it'll take a long time for us to be the brothers we used to be, but I love you man and I love those two little boys that are across the hall." He turns his head to look at me. "I'm not asking you to forgive me, all I'm asking is for you to give me a chance to be the little pain in the ass brother that you deserve." He's silent for a moment, letting what I said settle in his mind before he gives me a small, tired smile.
"I already started letting you back into my life; I mean I let you within ten feet of my boys didn't I?" I smile back at him.
"Yeah…I guess you're right." He nods.
"Now is that all or do we need to braid each other's hair and paint our toenails?" I laugh in relief, knowing that in Deans own way he's gonna let me prove myself.
"I think we're good." He nods his head and stands up, taking a step towards the bedroom door. "Dean?" He stops and turns around.
"Yeah?" I shoot up from the bed and pull him into my arms.
"Thank you." I say quietly. He pats my back once before pulling away. He gives me a small smile and a nod before exiting the room, closing the door quietly behind him.
I'm starting to get my brother back.
End of chapter! Do you like it? Hate it? Please let me know!
So I'm pretty sure, no I'm positive, that this story will have 2 more chapters before the sequel so get ready for some Sequel drama!