…
Got a badge for my scars just the other day
Wore it proud for the sake of my sanity
I could see the flames burn bright from the winding road
like a haunting page from my history, watched a young girl cry and her mother scream
it's the saddest thing when angels fly away.
..

Ben Speaks

As soon as we reappeared in front of a crooked staircase, I couldn't help but sway unsteadily again and roll my shoulders, marching straight over to the fridge and grabbing a beer.
'Admit now it's a faster way to travel? We're home in time for tea.' Jesse laughed, smirking at me as he accepted the beer I held out to him. I groaned as I gulped half of it down, grateful to have something help cool me down. My eyes watched as Claire remained still for a moment, too lost in thought to move and I was going to go to her but she dashed up the stairs before Jesse glanced over his shoulder to see what it was I was staring at.
'At least I don't get car sick. How the hell do you know all of you… get put back together?'

Jesse didn't answer, just walked from the kitchen to meet Adam and Dean in the lounge, who had got to their feet as they heard our noise. I thought of heading up to Claire but it was painfully obvious that she needed some time for herself.
I leant back on the bench, unable to take a step in either direction and I sighed.
Why did Dean have to be here? If I walked in there, it would be questions about everything I had done but I didn't want to speak about them, I didn't want to relive my time as a child feeling like he never belonged anywhere, I didn't want to have to tell him that his son went to a foreign country to fight a pointless war, that I had seen some things worse than any demon or monster.

'You okay?'
I blinked up and stared at Claire, nodding my head with a grin to reassure her.
'Yeah, not sure I like that whole zapping to different places.'
Claire smiled, accepting a beer I held out to her, tilting it in front of her in cheers. She stood there a while and I was nervous to say or do anything but Claire leant on the bench beside me, her pale skin looking almost porcelain in the setting sun and I felt angry, confused. What she did today, why would she take a risk to go speak with a couple of Angels, how did she even get there?
'I'm sorry Ben, for what I did today.' Claire stood straight, eyes burning into me; I was just grateful that I didn't have to ask the first question.
'Are you kidding?'
I wanted to growl at her and I made sure that my frown showed her that but I couldn't keep it up. At the end of the day she was back safe and sound, I remembered a time when I would have done anything at all to get into the same room as my father; now I just wanted to be on a different planet.
'You're a friend Claire, and although I may not completely understand or agree with what you did, I will always make sure that you come home.'

I gently touched her arm, slipping to her elbow when she tried to turn and leave. Something flared in her eyes and I felt my heart jump a beat but I couldn't breathe as she stared at me with those eyes and I stepped closer to her, carefully and slowly like I was trying to pet a wild horse. Not that I thought she looked like a horse or anything, that would be insulting-
Claire allowed me to turn her, pushing her until she was trapped between the bench and myself, her hands pinned to the cold bench as I held her wrists. She was intoxicating, and I felt my throat tighten as I opened my mouth; I had no idea what I was going to say but I knew I didn't have to say anything. She moved beneath me, still that wild creature and I wasn't sure how much longer I had until she made her escape. Lowering my head, I stared at her eyes until I dropped them to her lips, edging closer. I gave her plenty of time to leave but as she lowered her eyes to mine, I knew there wouldn't be any resistance. We shared a hesitant breath, our lips so close I could feel them barely feather light against mine and only now I realised how Claire made me feel.

A sharp knock on the front door burst the small bubble around us and I took a sharp step back, Claire snapping her head away from me and standing up straight. I wasn't glad that we were saved by a knock, but I knew that it was probably safer. Claire looked up at me and I just knew that she was thinking the same and she sighed, pulling her hair over her shoulder and stepping further away from me as she went to answer the door. Squeezing my eyes shut, I tried to steady my heart that began to beat too fast and I bit my lip, hearing movement behind me.

'How you going kid?'
Dean gave me a grin, one that I could tell was meant to be true but I saw that edge of guilt and discomfort. If he felt anything like I did, I was too nervous to speak about anything with him, it was uncomfortable, but at least I could stand beside him, know that he was here.
'Fine.'
I glanced at Claire as she opened the door, speaking with someone but I dropped my eyes when I felt Deans stare burn into me.
'You and Claire hey?'
'I wish.' I mumbled and Dean nudged my elbow playfully. I just looked back up to Claire again, trying to drown out my father speaking about some of the women he had fallen for that were blonde but it well and truly died in my ear as I watch a frown slowly disappearing from Claires face before she stepped aside, a familiar person walking in front of her.

'Hello boys.' Tatiana grinned, taking off her jacket and tossing it over a chair. Her grin was large and fake and I crossed my arms, stepping in her path to stop her from entering the lounge room.
'What the hell are you doing here?' I growled, making sure I was threatening. Dean behind me seemed to get on guard and I sighed when Tatiana flicked her thin hair over her shoulder, crossing her arms also.
'I came to check that Claire was alright. You good baby?'
Claire remained behind her, not answering as I gave her a look.
'If we are going to have this acquaintance, shifter, there are to be no secrets'
'Shifter?'

Both Dean and Adam sounded alarmed and I caught Jesse in the corner of my eye, and Tatiana had him fully in hers.
'Good to see you again Jess.' She gave him a suggestive wink and I felt Dean grab my arm, pull me back slightly.
'Whoa, it's not like I'm contagious or anything.' She said, narrowing her eyes on Dean.
'You're working with a shifter?'
'We didn't have much of an option, Dad.'
Tatiana grinned, giggling to herself as she glanced between myself and Dean.
'Winchesters, father and son. Amazing resemblance, I can see now how you got your good looks Benny.'

'Get out of my house.' Adam demanded, pulling out a silver knife from somewhere and Pearl stepped in to have her growl to. Tatiana raised her hands in defense, shaking her head at all of us.
'So much for a thank you. I give you the best lead possible and I get treated like a piece of dog shit.' She hissed and before any of us could put in a word she held up her hand, 'I am risking my life here, I'm helping you guys, you pathetic hunters and every time I show my face I get a knife pulled on me. My own kind won't exactly be the understanding type if I am caught so don't you dare doubt me.'

I knew that we would benefit from this, but it was going to be a trouble convincing Dean and Adam of that.
'What lead?'
Tatiana smirked, turning and stepping close to Claire, gently tucking hair behind her ear.
'Better ask this one.'
With that she showed herself to the door and as soon as that door shut, hell broke loose in the kitchen.
'What the hell was that?' Dean bellowed, furiously turning me to face him. I made sure I kept my face as impossible to read as he stared up at me, shorter than me by a few inches. Adam stepped around us to face Claire, demanding to know what had happened and we shared a nervous glance at each other before Dean moved to catch my attention again.

'I won't allow this. It is a shape shifter, not someone named Tortilla that wants to help you.'
'Tatiana.'
'Whatever, I'm your father and-' He growled, stabbing my chest with his finger but I pushed it aside.
'From memory Dean, I think you gave that up.' I raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to challenge it but he didn't, just stepping back as he sucked in his bottom lip.
'Every demon and belly crawling scum I have ever "acquainted" myself with has towards the end tried to kill me or had their own agenda.'
'Tatiana just wants to survive. I'm sure Adam has told you everything so far. Yes? Then you have to know that most of those belly crawling scums don't feel like lying down and dying for one man.'

Dean nodded slowly, giving up and retreating into the lounge. I ran a hand down my face, furious that this was not working between the two of us. It was just hard to have a father figure suddenly when it was always just me. Besides, I was a grown man now and I didn't have to report to or obey him, it should be the other way around. This was my hunt, my hunt with Claire and Jesse.
Jesse put a hand on my shoulder and I sighed, grabbing another beer and following everyone into the lounge as Claire took a seat with a very heavy sigh.

'Well I think we all know my history…' she didn't look any of us in the eye until Dean squinted as he looked at her.
'Novak? Youre little Claire Novak?'
She looked up and smiled, a forced grin that hinted some hatred towards him.
'That's me, the little girl you left without a father.'
Dean shrugged back into the darkness behind him, and I could feel the guilt radiate off him and I felt sorry for him. Since he got here all he had received was hate from Claire and a lack of attention and love from his son. There wasn't any time to make up for it now, if we survived this thing with Zeno then we could have as long as we need even though I felt like everything we had to say had already been said as we smiled at one another.

'Castiel was there and informed me that Zeno is trying to make the perfect soldier, one that can withstand all human attacks including all monsters, demons and angels.' She looked up at me nervously; there was something she wasn't telling us. 'He just wanted to make sure that we were doing our utmost to ensure the survival of heaven.'
'They aren't going to help us?' I asked and almost everyone scoffed or laughed.
Adam seemed to be the most stung by the thought of angels helping and reached for his bottle of whiskey under the lounge.
'I think I would rather trust the shifter.' He murmured before wrapping his lips around the bottle. I could understand why Jesse did it to; angels had tried to kill him for what he was, I could sense a lack of respect.

'Castiel would do what he could to help.' Dean said and Claire snapped her head to him. 'Are you sure he said nothing else?'
I nudged his shoulder, trying to get him to stop. I could remember when Claire sat outside, almost freezing herself to death as she tried to drown the hatred she had for Castiel. Claire stood, threatening Dean before she calmed.
'I'm sure.'
With that she left the room, grumbling something about trying to find food. Jesse marched past us to help her and I sighed as I stood with my father watching my uncle drink.
'Why do you trust and angel rather than a shifter?'
Dean looked at me with disbelief.
'I don't. Castiel and I…we go back.'
Bits and pieces were coming back to me again; I could remember Dean speaking with my mother about Castiel when I should have been in bed.
'And Sam?'

Dean hung his head, shrugging his shoulders and accepting a drink from Adam.
'I haven't spoken with Sammy for years.'
Not that it really mattered to me, I never had anything to do with Sam and he with me, but the fact that Sam and Dean fell apart after years of being such close brothers, it tore me in two as I thought of Claire and what almost happened in the kitchen.
'I'm sorry.'
Dean just smiled weakly, heading into the kitchen to grab a bowl or reheated spaghetti. I took my time, Adam watching me with knowing eyes and I rubbed my eyes; it had been a long day and all this heaven and hell and monster and the end of the world was starting to eat away at me.

Dinner was quick and quiet, most of us lost in our own small worlds, myself trying to make some effort to engage everyone is some sort of conversation but it always died down after a short time.
I had been heading into the lounge with Adam and Jesse when we paused, Dean and Claire chatting away and I heard the words sorry and forgiven. I was glad that things were alright between the two of them, I just wished it could be that easy between him and me, maybe it was and I just couldn't see it. At least there were some laughs as we drank Adams house dry of anything with alcohol, I suppose when everyone is pissed enough all worries seem to be insignificant but they hover around in the silence. I didn't feel like drinking, and Claire didn't either as she said good night; a smile on her face. I wasn't far off as Adam began to snore, Jesse zapping him to bed and Dean made himself comfortable on the lounge, asleep before I could even say good night to him.

Gradually I made it to the kitchen, gulping down some water to rid the horrid after taste of beer. At least it was cooler tonight, the heat lingering inside but pleasant. After making sure all the lights were switched off, I managed to find my way to the stairs. I wasn't tired and I wasn't too keen on lying awake with my thoughts plaguing me.

I reached the top of the stairs, conflicted with everything that was going on. Angels, return of my father, the end of the world and Claire…
I felt my heart leap to my throat as I looked towards her room, seeing her leaning on the bed, her feet slack on the floor. Did she fall? Pass out, or worse?
Concerned I rushed over to her, not caring as I slammed the door open fully and dropped beside her, trying to pull her face around to mine.
'Claire! Are you alright?'
I was met with laughter and Claire pushed hair from her eyes, enough for me to see the confusion in them.
'I never thought I would see the day when praying is dangerous.'

I grinned, not really sure what I had been thinking and leant back, resting my arm on the bed casually, laughing lightly.
'You were praying?'
'Yes, sometimes it is the only thing that keeps me going to the next day.'
Claire chuckled weakly with me, patting my cheek before she stood up. Looking up at her from the floor as she stood over me… she was beautiful.
I stood slowly, a simple breath away from her again, I could smell her, I could see her as she locked eyes with mine, the intenseness of those blue eyes making it impossible to read what she was thinking. I wanted nothing more than to lean in, pull her too me; this was torture but I resisted when Claire dropped her gaze from mine, clearing her throat and pulling at her baggy t shirt. Stepping back instantly, I averted my eyes when I realised she was only wearing a pair of underpants; pale legs standing nervously and I battled with myself to not stare at them. Christ, it wasn't the first time I saw a long pair of perfect legs, but then again, none of them ever had been on Claire.

'You're looking away?'
'Yes, sometimes it is the only thing that keeps me…' I lost my train of thought when Claire moved, I thought she was moving closer to me like a teenage boy facing his ultimate crush; frozen to the spot and just thinking of all the things that could possibly happen but with the possibility of it happening being like alive when human kind finally did reach out into space and find a race of Vulcans.
Did I really just think that? How did I ever get a girlfriend? Oh, that's right, I didn't, just strangers for one night.

Snapping back to reality, I smiled stupidly as Claire was pulling back the covers of the bed, watching me with those hawk eyes.
'Keeps you…?'
'From being stupid. I'll go now, night.' I was so ready to be down the stairs and out in my car for the night, half way over the threshold when I heard something that I never thought would pass her perfect lips.
'No, stay.'

I turned on the spot slowly, unsure if I imagined it but she was there, kneeling on the bed. With a delicate hand she patted the mattress. I raised an eyebrow, now suddenly uncomfortable, not because Claire Novak was asking me to stay with her, patting the bed beside her but because… I have to stop thinking.
Claire gave a nervous laugh, looking away from me as she spoke.
'I'm scared.' She admitted and everything lifted from my shoulders and I relaxed my stance. 'I haven't had a good night's sleep for a while, and I found out that my father is truly dead.'
'And sharing a single bed with me will help?'
Claire glared at me but it was weak and she dropped them back down to her hand.
'It's a queen single, and I just don't want to be on my own.'

I gave it some thought, not really who am I kidding, a friend was in need some company and being the gentleman that I was, I was going to provide it.
Closing the door, I rubbed a hand through my hair; looking for a chair or something but there wasn't one so I dropped myself onto the floor, stealing one of her pillows. Kicking my shoes off, I yawned and leant back against the bedside table, my head sinking into the pillow.
Claire made herself comfortable on the bed, rolling onto her side to face me. Looking up, I didn't know what to say so just grinned, hoping that my back wouldn't ache from this; I may end up sprawled out on the floor anyway.

'Do you still see it sometimes?'
I opened one of my eyes, staring up at her sad face, wanting her to turn the light out.
'See what?'
She was lost in thought, her eyes utterly focus on her hand and instantly I knew what it was she was talking about.
'I wake up sometimes, feeling it everywhere and I can never seem to get it off. I can make myself a cup of coffee or cleaning my gun and it's just there.' Her voice cracked and I turned slightly, wanting to comfort her in some way but I guess the best way was just to listen. She looked at me, and I was going to speak but she laughed, so light and carefree that I smiled as well.

'Oh my god I feel like a teenager at a slumber party.' She slapped a hand to her forehead, eyes closed as she turned away from me. I knelt beside the bed know, leaning my elbows into the tough mattress and stared at Claire, taking her hand in mine, bringing it to my lips. She stilled at this, eyes wide and sharp, watching my every movement. I noticed Lances glasses on the bedside table and I looked back at her, shaking my head with a smile.
'The blood doesn't go away Claire; but there are some things you shouldn't blame yourself for; Lance, your father. Besides, you got Jesse and me now to annoy you so you can forget.'
Kissing her fingers, I stared down at it, stroking it gently and Claire turned her eyes from her hand to me. She grabbed my hand, linking our fingers together and pulling, rolling onto her back and encouraging me up onto the bed, enough so that I was on top of her.

'There was nothing romantic about that.' I chuckled, trying to hide my nerves, my eagerness, my everything.
'Oh? So if you wanted to be romantic, should I knick you out now and we try again later?'
I smiled, pretending to wince at her smug smirk.
'No, if I wanted to be romantic, I would…' I nestled myself more comfortably against her, 'I would say that you make my heart go crazy every time I see you, that bluebirds would sing to me about you as I skipped merrily down the lane with my shot gun over my shoulder.'
Claire laughed, shoving at my shoulder and I put my hand beside her shoulders, holding myself up off of her. I wish I had more teenage slumber parties like this.
'But you wouldn't like that.'
'No? I might like the image of you skipping down a lane with Mother Nature singing to you about me.'
'Oh yeah?' I laughed, nudging her with my hand playfully but I don't know what came over me. I don't know what I was doing here in Claire's room, lying on top of her, friends didn't do this, partners didn't do this, hunters did not do this and yet, fuck the rules.

I gently lowered myself down, my hand slowly tracing her jaw line and cupping her cheek, giving her my complete attention as I brought my face closer to hers, the skin of a tooth distance away from her lips.
'No, you'd want this. Intimate… control.'
Claire moved beneath me, her breath faster but I stayed as I was, simply staring at her, waiting to see if I was right. It wasn't a game, I knew that, but I didn't know what else it could be.

Sure enough, Claire wrapped arm around my neck, her hand gripping my hair tightly and pulled my face that impossible distance to hers, our lips crashing together. I think I was expecting thunder and lightning and Gods voice to bellow that this was wrong, but nothing happened and I smiled as Claire shifted, trying to pull herself on top of me. I growled though, grabbing her wrists and pinning them to the bed, Claires gold hair around her face and she seemed to hesitate. Claire dropped her eyes and I thought for a moment that maybe I got it wrong, maybe Claire actually was a soft romantic but when she looked back at me, it was with another kiss.
This raw resistance, the primal struggle for control, I smiled at the challenge and decided I would surrender that easily to it or to Claire.

Whatever we were doing right now, it was like walking on eggshells, what would come of this? If anything did come of this, I would make sure we walked out from everything unburnt and together.

..
You can be strong tonight
Love makes you sad it's alright
No one could ever worry half as good as you

OMG GUYS I am so sorry that turned out sooo corny but I just like to type whatever it is that the characters yell at me, blame them.
And just a warning that the chapters are going to go a bit out of sync.

Silver-Kirin
xXx