…
My eyes burn as I bury how I'm feeling
close my eyes, it's my life that I've been stealing
If it's so right why do I feel a sense of longing?
I had it all and yet I thought that something missing
something's missing
..

Jesse Speaks

It wasn't difficult to know what was going on a few doors away from my own. Not that they were loud or anything, but I didn't see or hear thing the way normal people would. It was just a feeling that crawled like fog under my door and I sighed, my thoughts racing too much for me to relax.
I was trying to convince myself that I wasn't jealous but it would just be another lie to add to the collection I already had pooling in my gut.

Knowing that laying there was only going to leave me with a headache in the morning; I tossed the blanket aside and thought about where I could go. Too depressed to head anywhere else, I got to my feet and in a blink of an eye I was standing in front of Adams liquor cabinet. Was this what was going to happen to me? Become a lonely old drunk like Adam that depended on someone else to make sure that they received a proper meal, the roof kept from leaking and that they didn't choke on their own vomit as they woke up screaming in the middle of the night, terrified that they were still in hell. It scared me to remember those nights that I tried to convince Adam that he was safe, that even though I smelt like a demon, that my eyes were black, I was someone to trust.

It had taken some time but we got there in the end and truthfully I wouldn't have changed it for anything but I just wished that Claire and I had more trust, maybe things would have been different for us.

I had the power to change it.
The dark feeling crept up on me and I let it sear in my mind for a moment, enough to the point I was so ready to do it. My head ached and I tried to rub away the feeling; the world didn't need another monster. Like any other girl, they would have to wait for their mister right, but any guy? What did they have to wait for?
Grabbing a bottle, I stared down at the label and wondered if this well and truly who I was as a person. I hit one small bump in the road and I am ready to throw everything away for my own selfish wants? No, I would get over it.

'You know you could pour me another drink rather than stand there and stare at it.'
I spun around, surprised and felt my senses lock onto the person in the chair. Instantly I felt the hair on my neck rise and the shifter giggled, turning on the lamp on the desk.
'How long have you been there?' I growled, watching her intently as she lifted her feet onto the desk, swirling the bronze liquid in the glass.
'Long enough.'

I snarled as Tatiana smiled at me; despite the fact I knew she was a shape shifter, if I didn't know that I would have considered this here now as a beautiful woman. Tilting her head, she pointed up the stairs and I felt part of myself drop as that feeling crept in again.
'Thought you would have joined in, you being all best buddies and what not.'
'What are you doing here?' I snapped, but Tatiana knew it was an empty threat. Lifting her feet off the desk, she sat up properly and pushed forward another glass, gulping down the last of hers.
'You owe me a drink.'
As much as I wanted to alone, I welcomed the offer and pulled a chair around to face the desk, pouring some more whiskey into my cup and filling up Tatiana's.
I swallowed it down in one go, pouring myself another glass quickly and sat back in the chair, favouring the familiar burn of the alcohol and not missing Tatiana give a playful smile.
'How did you get in?'
She shrugged, pulling brown hair over her shoulder and there was something different about her, small things like her features had changed, more soft and her eyes were now an intense blue, staring right at me. How many times did she shift since we last saw her?
'I'm a serial killer, monster;' she corrected herself and I flinched as she spat out the word, 'this house is like opening a child's doll house.'

There was a thick silence between us but I couldn't help but feel as though I needed to interrogate her, not kick her out of the home she broke into. Eyes watched me over the rim of the glass and I held that stare, wondering what had come over me.
'Why did you kill all those people?' I asked, Tatiana lowering her glass and pointing a long slender finger at me with a dark smirk.
'Couldn't you just go in here,' she chuckled, stabbing her nail to her temple, 'and get everything you wanted to know?'
It was my turn to smirk around the glass at her, 'Of course I could, but where is the fun in that?'
She looked at me carefully now, like I was something she suddenly wasn't sure about and I chuckled myself, enjoying the power I had over her.

'Can I ask you something?' I cleared my throat, pouring another drink for the both of us. Tatiana sat up in the chair now, leaning on the desk as she sipped.
'Let me guess,' she sighed heavily, holding up a hand and lifting a finger for each point, 'why am I helping you guys? Why would I betray my own kind for a bunch of hunters that only threaten me every time I try to help? What would I gain from killing dozens of people? Am I going to betray you?'
'Will you?' I snapped at the last one and she grinned toothily at me, pretending to look stung.
'And have no friends?' she gave me a tut-tut and tipped back her glass; if we kept drinking like this Adam would well and truly be out before we could refill. There was something painful in her eyes and I was unsure about it but then she laughed, a soft sound for something I knew could rip apart people with a playful smile.
'Did that answer your question?'
'I was just going to ask what it was like to shape shift.'
She laughed, tossing her head back and thin hair framed her face a way that cast odd shadows over her face and I couldn't help but stare.

'What does it feel like to change my form…' she coughed around a mouthful and liquor and licked her lip, staring at me with a face that slowly fell into something sad.
'Regretful. It feels like, peeling your flesh just like some of my ancestors did. Luckily I don't have to deal with gooey left over flesh, I can just have millions of blades digging into my body so that I can wear someone else face to hide my own.'
I didn't know how to reply, I never realised that a shifter could have such feelings and after a minute of awkward silence I chuckled, Tatiana getting defensive.
'You find that funny?' she grinned, laughing herself but it was dry and as soon as I was quiet, she took the chance to strike back.
'So Jess, can I call you Jess?' I never liked my name shortened to it but I didn't answer, just stared at her. The corner of my vision was going hazy; I didn't realise I would tire so quickly.
'Why are you here? Why are you a hunter?'
'What? You think I should be out there causing havoc like everything else?' I was getting angry but Tatiana reached out and grabbed my hand, her face soft as she shook her head at me.

'Of course not, what I mean is…' she licked her lips again, eyeing me as her thumb gently rubbed mine and it surprisingly didn't take that much effort to keep me from snatching it away from her.
'You could be like some sort of superhero, except you're tip toeing around here pretending to be a normal human.'
'And here you are, a monster trying to be the superhero.'
She took her hand back slowly and I felt my head become light; the alcohol must have gone straight to my head and I blinked a few times, trying to keep my composure; there was no way I was nodding off with a shifter in the house.

'Two of a kind I suppose.' She smiled and I grimaced as I smiled back at her; this was a shifter I was enjoying a drink with, not a human being.
'Something wrong…?' She actually sounded concerned but I just waved it off, refusing a new glass Tatiana poured for me
'What, don't like the idea that somewhere down the line we are the same? Or is it this?' she stood slowly, moving non aggressively as she leant across the desk. My eyes couldn't help but look down, her tight shirt not leaving much for me to imagine. There was a smirk on her face as she noticed but I flinched away. 'My offer still stands, if you want me to be a certain goldy-locks.'
I grabbed her wrist before she began to shift, her eyes wide with the uncertainty if it was a threat.
'No, I like you as you are.'

I wished I could have swallowed those words back but it felt good to be able to make at least a half woman smile. There was something about the way Tatiana moved around the desk, leaning on the back of the chair, arms draping over to my shoulders and playing with the zipper.
'I know this great bar not far from here; open late, live music. If not we could stay here and-'
'Where's the bar?'
Tatiana stood back, scooping up her jacket and slipping it on as I got to my feet, swaying slightly. Something felt off, I could feel it and I glanced around the corner and upstairs, checking that everything was still alright.
'It's only about fifteen minutes down the- Whoa!' she yelped, leaning back away from my hand as I held it out, ready to touch her shoulder. I raised an eyebrow and she just laughed, jingling car keys in front of me.
'I ain't being zapped anywhere. Besides, I don't think you're right to drink and fly.'

Sighing, I followed Tatiana out to the car, slipping my sneakers on and grabbing my jacket; it was just a bar, and this wasn't a date. The air was a lot cooler now and it slapped my cheek, waking me up from my sudden drowsiness, but I still couldn't think straight. I made it to the dark blue Mustang, smiling back at Tatiana as she gave me a wink and got into the car. Dropping myself into the passenger's seat, I sighed and stretched back.
'So what was-'

A sharp pain burnt through my neck and instantly I grabbed at it, screwing my face up as I turned to Tatiana, who was lowering a needle back into a container. I knew it, I knew something was wrong and I groaned, trying to will myself back to my room or even stumble from the car but Tatiana made sure the doors were locked. I could feel whatever it was that she injected me with spread through my body like wildfire, reaching my arms and chest in no time.
'Tia,' I forced out, furious at her and as I was slipping into nothingness, I thought I saw regret in her eyes.

It wasn't as if Tatiana wanted to do that, heck she liked him more than she should. The last thing she wanted to do was have him unconscious beside her as she drove. The street lights passed over the car like some sort of thriller movie scene; the criminal disappearing from the scene of the crime with the victim… this was just how they were.

Constantly she would look across to him, making sure he was still there, still breathing and she bit her lip hard enough that it bled. Why did it have to be Jesse? Why did she have to start desperately wanting to be something more than a shifter?
She had done so much wrong in her life, she could see that now but was it too late? Here she was, betraying the people that had trusted her, that didn't welcome her but had still reframed from killing her the moment she stepped through with the offer to help. They would kill her if they got their hands on her now; but that was far from her mind; it would be worse if she didn't do as Zeno told her.

That "man" scared her beyond belief; she had seen what he was capable of, had felt his own brutality of making a mistake or betraying him. Tatiana had no choice but to join him, for now. She just hoped that Jesse would be alright at the end of this, she really did like the awkward anti-christ but for now, she would have to continue being the only thing she has known and trusted; being a monster.

Dun dun duuun, what is going to happen to Jesse?

thanks for your patience and for reading :)

Silver-kirin
xXx