Athrana (Wandering Shadow)
Chapter 43- One Day At A Time
TA3019, March 2nd
Athriel sat against a tree as they made camp. She was not used to this. It had been a long time since she had ridden at all, let alone such a long distance. Everything ached. She sighed happily as she leant back closing her eyes. "Comfy?" She looked up to see Elladan grinning at her as he made the fire. "I'm fine thank you" she said closing her eyes again, waiting for the indignation. She laughed as something hit her from across the fire pit. "Get up you lazy elleth and help" With an exaggerated sigh Athriel stood up and helped them make camp.
"Seriously, how are you?" Elrohir asked as she helped him look after the horses. "I'm fine, really. Just a little sore. It's been a long time since I last rode anywhere." She petted her steed affectionately on the nose, just to prove there were no hard feelings before letting him wonder off in search of water. "You'll get used to it" She nodded. "I know."
Pulling the blankets out of his and his brother's packs Elladan watched them talk. It was strange to have her back after all these years. Technically she had been back home for a few days, but somehow being out here in the wild with her made it real. He just wanted to sit back and enjoy this, but her answers to Elrohir's questions gave him questions of his own. She had told them about her capture and what she remembered of the torture she endured, but she had so far avoided talking about how she had survived out here, on her own. How had she found enough to eat? What had she eaten? How had she moved around? What had she been doing all this time?
Suddenly he remembered the dream he and his brother had shared that night, the night after they had seen her again for the first time. They had known then what she had been doing out in the wild all this time. He remembered exactly what those vile creatures had done to her, what they were turning her into. Just now she was Athriel, their Athriel, but what about in battle? Who would she be?
"Dan, don't" Elrohir said in his mind as they sat down. As always their thoughts had been the same. "We can help her remember. When this is all over she will be normal again." He was right, they couldn't think like this. They should be enjoying the fact that they were here, the three of them.
Athriel sat down and looked into the fire. She wasn't stupid, she knew where their thoughts had gone, and she usually did. She saw the way they sat, the way they moved. She remembered what they had said that morning. "We know Ok, we know what's happening to you" It had taken their entire journey so far for it to sink in. They knew what was happening to her, they knew she was becoming a monster. Now they were thinking exactly what she was. How would she cope when they finally had to fight? How would they cope if she lost control? Would they still hold on to the ridiculous belief that destroying Sauron would cure her? Would they ever look at her the same way? Would this be the final straw?
Athriel jumped when Elrohir placed a bowl in her hands. She looked down and the food in front of her. "You need to eat something Athriel" She looked up again. "Thanks" They looked exactly the same as they always had, they were acting the same. They weren't treating her any different. She could do this. All she had to do was live in the moment. She had been so good at this once. She could just be happy one day at a time. This was what they used to do; this was how they used to be the three of them. She smiled over at them. She could do this.
Seeing her smile the twins relaxed. It didn't matter what happened tomorrow. Today they were alive and it was just the three of them. Today they were happy. No matter what else was going on, they were happy.