Using the prompt 'stood-up'

Chapter Forty-Five

Rose looked in the mirror, taking in her thin frame, her sunken eyes and her very messy hair. She had changed a lot these past months. She had never thought she was overly attractive – well not when she was standing next to Jasmine – but now she just looked even worse.

She'd never realised it until now, when it mattered. She was supposed to be getting ready for her 'date' with Scorpius, yet she couldn't even bring herself to put a nice dress on. She was hideous. Everything that had happened, she had completely forgotten to look after herself properly. Now, she was paying for it. Scorpius was going to take one look at her and run for the hills.

There was no way she could make herself look attractive – not for a Malfoy.

There were footsteps approaching the dormitory, and moments later, Georgia appeared around the corner. She gave Rose a friendly smile – one that Rose returned. If she did have any friends in Gryffindor besides from those who shared her blood, it was Georgia.

Georgia was a sweet girl, and a lot like Rose in many ways, just more shy. Sometimes, Rose envied the girl. Sometimes, she thought that being Georgia would be a lot simpler than being Rose.

She wouldn't have a large family to contend with that way.

"Oh, this is nice!" Georgia said cheerily, coming over to admire the dress Rose had laid out on her bed. "Where did you get it from?"

"Some Muggle place in London," Rose mumbled absently, peering at her blue eyes in the mirror. "I'm not going to wear it, though," she added, sighing deeply.

"Why not?" Georgia questioned. "Where were you planning on wearing it, anyway?"

Rose turned to her friend, giving her a sad smile. "I was supposed to be meeting Scorpius down by the Lake today for a picnic… you know, a date… but I don't think I'll go."

Georgia seemed genuinely surprised by this. "Why not?"

Rose sighed again. "Because I'm hideous!" She pointed to her own reflection in the mirror. "It's been hard, you know? Dealing with everything."

"I can imagine."

"I've kind of just forgotten to look after myself. I didn't even care…." She paused for a moment, debating whether or not to continue, but eventually decided that she could trust Georgia. Even though she was very close to Jasmine, Rose knew she wouldn't share their conversation with her.

She sat down on the end of her bed and indicated that Georgia do the same. The girl obliged, remaining silent.

"I went through a rough patch… like a really rough patch when I wasn't here. I was missing Mum and Dad a lot, and I just wanted them back. I don't think I fully understood at that time that they weren't going to come back."

"Well, of course," Georgia replied kindly. "You'd want them back. I mean, your parents were really famous, Rose, and it was a shock to everyone, but it would have been worse for you and your brother, and even your cousins, I guess. They were just your parents to you, and you loved them very much. Of course you'd want them back."

Rose smiled. Georgia just seemed to get it.

"Yeah, well, I ran away from my aunt and uncle's, and went home again. I stayed there for a week by myself, and it was really depressing being there, but at the same time comforting. I felt like they were there. And then the whole court case and everything… I was more of a bitch than usual to everyone."

"I'm sure that's not true."

Rose nodded. "No, it is. Just ask them, I'm sure they'll tell you. I was horrible, but all I really wanted was Mum and Dad back. It was all I cared about, and I kind of just forgot about everything else. Including myself, I guess." From where she sat, she stared at her reflection again. "Scorpius will thing I'm hideous."

"Rose, you're beautiful," Georgia said. "You are, and Scorpius knows that. He really likes you, I know he does. He won't care if you show up in your pyjamas – he'll just be happy to see you."

"He is a teenage boy," Rose reminded her.

"Yeah, I know, but still a nice one, and one that cares about you."

"I still think he wants something that I can't give him," Rose continued.

"What do you mean? Do you like him?"

"I do," Rose answered, nodding. "Very much, but I'm not sure if I'm ready for a relationship yet. I was last year, but that was before… before it all happened, and I just want to get my life back on track completely before anything else happens. I want to settle back into school, catch up on everything, and then maybe be with Scorpius.

"I thought that yesterday when I asked, it was what I wanted, but now I'm not so sure."

"Go and talk to him, then," Georgia said, always the voice of reason. "He'll understand, I'm sure of it."

"Will he?"

"If he cares about you, he will."

"But I know he wants this, and… and I'm not sure."

There was silence, and then Rose came to her decision. "I'll go," she decided. "I'll see what happens. Maybe we'll decide we're better off friends."

Georgia nodded. "That's a good idea, Rosie," she said. "And I'm sure once you get there, you'll know." She picked up Rose's dress. "Do you need help getting ready?"

Rose nodded, smiling weakly. "Yes, I do," she said. "Can you help me look at least a little bit attractive?"

"I won't need to do anything for that, Rose," Georgia said. "You're already beautiful."

OOO

Outside, the sun was hidden behind the clouds. The air was crisp, and looming in the distance were even darker clouds, threatening a storm. Rose shivered.

It's a sign, she thought. It's a sign that I'm not meant to go.

Despite Georgia's best efforts, Rose still thought her hair and the little bit of make-up made no difference to her appearance. Her hair was pulled back nicely, she would admit, but her sunken eyes and strained features were still obvious anyway.

Though, she had told Georgia she loved it. What else was she supposed to say? Georgia had spent an hour on her, and still nothing had happened. Everyone had stared at her in the common room, a few of the boys making crude remarks, but the majority just gaping. Even Hugo's jaw had dropped when he had seen her, and had followed her out of the portrait.

"You look great, Rosie!" he said.

She had had smiled at her brother and thanked him.

"Truly, you do," Hugo continued. "But a lot older than fifteen."

"I'm sixteen in a few months," Rose replied.

"Well, have fun!" And then her brother had left her to be on her way.

Now she was in the courtyard, making her way down to the Lake where Scorpius was going to meet her. She had completely forgotten about talking to the house-elves about food, so that wasn't going to happen, but she wasn't too worried over that. Anyway, if things went the way she was hoping them to, then food was going to be the last thing on their minds.

Her stomach jittered, flipping to and fro inside her, doing somersaults and flips. She was terrified. She would never be good enough for Scorpius. She was a terrible friend, and she couldn't even manage to look nice for him. He'd probably only agreed because he felt sorry for her.

Stop it, she scolded, shaking her head as she passed Hagrid's hut. The half-giant was in his pumpkin patch, tending to the overly large pumpkins. When he saw Rose, he stopped to wave, then did a double take.

Rose slowed, realising that he wanted to talk to her. She didn't mind. It meant she could delay meeting with Scorpius.

"Yer going some'ere?" he asked, wiping sweat from his brow.

Rose nodded. "To the Lake," she said with half a smile.

"An' yer all dressed up too," Hagrid continued.

Rose nodded again, but this time didn't say anything.

Realisation seemed to dawn on him. "Meetin' some'un special, are yer?" He beamed at her, and Rose blushed despite herself.

"Woul'n' happen to be any'un by the name o' Malfoy woul' i'?"

Rose shrugged, and Hagrid chuckled. "Well, on yer, then, Rosie," he said, giving her a gentle push in the direction of the Lake that almost sent her sprawling into the mud.

Rose said goodbye to him, and then continued walking.

As she drew nearer, more doubt started to flood her mind. Was she actually ready for this? Was she really ready to be in a relationship?

A small part of her reminded her that it was just a date, and there was a chance nothing would happen. Maybe she would go to kiss Scorpius, but they'd both decide their friendship was too important to ruin with such a romantic gesture.

Mum and Dad were friends first, she reminded herself. And they ended up married.

She thought of her parents and thought of how often they argued with one another. She used to think it was because they were unhappy in their relationship, but had since come to realise that it was almost the complete opposite. Harry had said they argued to make sure the other still cared.

She and Scorpius didn't argue like that. Maybe neither of them cared all that much whether or not the other cared.

No, that's not true. I care about Scorpius a lot, and if he didn't care about me, then he wouldn't have made his dad help us.

She walked on, feeling her stomach twist into tighter nots as the Lake came into view. There were a few students down there, basking in the last moments of the warm air before winter came upon them. None of them looked like Scorpius, though.

Maybe he realised I'm not worth it, she though.

She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat, her breaths becoming shorter. This shouldn't have been so hard. Being with Scorpius was what she had wanted for so long. She had dreamed of it, thought of ways the two of them might come to be. This moment had been on her mind for such a long time, but now that it was happening, she didn't know how to handle it.

She saw how people were happy in their relationships. She walked past the couples in Hogwarts as they strolled the corridors holding hands. She envied them; she imagined it was her and Scorpius.

That could be us, she thought as she reached the trees that would direct her to the Lake.

She shook her head. No. Maybe one day it would be them, but as she saw him sitting by the water, staring into the calmness, she realised it wasn't going to be this day. She needed to be ready to give Scorpius everything, and right now, she couldn't. She wasn't ready. There was still so much going on inside her head that Scorpius and her feelings had been pushed far back, and locked away.

He hadn't noticed her yet, and she hoped it would stay that way. Closing her eyes for just one moment, she made the decision to turn around and head back to the castle. Her stomach churned with guilt and regret, but she didn't stop. He'd hate her, she knew he would. He would probably never forgive her. Maybe she'd just ruined the only chance they would get, but she knew it was the right decision.

If it's meant to be, then it will happen eventually, she thought to herself.

Feeling sick to the core over what she had just done to her friend – her best friend – she went back into the castle, and made straight for the library.

It was there that she spent the rest of the day, hiding far up the back between two shelves that held books on love potions.

Ironic, she realised, that she chose that spot to hide.

Picking one of the books up by random, she opened it to a page and allowed one tear to fall onto the pages.

"I'm sorry, Scorp," she whispered into it. "I'm so sorry."

Thank you again to SunnyLighter for beta-ing!

Please review/comment. Would be much appreciated!