I'm sorry I'm being sooooo slow about updating. T^T

Fourteenth Installment: Beginnings of Hope

The sea stretched, green-blue and vibrant, as far as the eye could see. Loki stood, barefoot, at its edge in slightly rocky sand, and the cold water lapping over his feet felt good. Somewhere behind him he could hear Stark, getting his containment device ready. At his side the Aether stood patient, waiting and watchful, holding his hand.

The energies of this world, he thought with a faint and resigned sigh, were weak. Similar in many ways, in fact, to Midgard. The quality of magic was poor and not at all conducive to the undertaking ahead of him. Not only would this require a great deal of time, but he would be appallingly weak when done.

"I'm sorry," the Aether said abruptly.

Loki looked down at her in surprise. "For what, dearest?"

She stared at her own bare feet. "I picked this world. I brought you here. I should have found a better one."

Smiling, Loki reached to cup her chin and make her meet his eyes. He made sure his profound love for her was plainly visible. "My love, you have nothing for which to apologize. Without you I would not be alive to regret we hadn't found a more suitable place. And find it, we will."

Skaði beamed a smile, and Loki thought not for the first time how cute she was. Sunlight glinted off her frost-silver hair, and that innocent child's face made her strange eyes look all the more freakish. It pleased him endlessly what an unsettling juxtaposition it was.

"All right, babe," Stark said, "I'm all set. We can get started whenever you're ready."

Loki sighed and looked out across the horizon. How many mages could do what I'm about to do? How many would even know to try? Sometimes the breadth of his knowledge of magic was more of a hindrance than a help. Then he shook himself. No. Better to suffer now and begin to heal than to be stuck like this forever. In this sad, pathetic state unable to truly use magic.

Without it, what was he? A warrior? I am not a warrior. I'm a mage. This will work. Whatever I have to do, it will work.

Skaði squeezed his hand. "I wish that poison inside you was something tangible I could destroy. I would make it suffer forever."

The smile returned as Loki glanced at her. Lifting her hand to brush a kiss over her knuckles, he turned and headed out of the gentle surf to join Stark. The man had set down some cushions so Loki would be as comfortable as possible. Once he started, he rather doubted he'd notice. He had no illusions otherwise, this would be a long and painful process.

Stripping off his tunic, he paused only long enough to give Stark a soft kiss before settling onto the cushions. "I'm relying on you both," he said, resting his hands lightly on his knees and closing his eyes.

Taking a deep breath, he opened up all his senses. Life teemed everywhere, but its magic energy was weak. The toxic energy in his seiðr channels began to pulse and burn, but it was tolerable. Slowly, so slowly, he began to draw the life energy around him into a concentrated flow. Since this didn't really require him to use his own seiðr, this would be the easy part.

The difficult part would be convincing the golden energy of Yggdrasil to stick to it and not to him.

In a way, he would be convincing it to do the same thing he'd done to the Aether. Separating from itself and become like a separate entity. He felt his lips curve in a sardonic smile. If I were a lesser mage, this would actually be easier. There wouldn't have been so much foreign energy trapped inside me.

Pushing all erroneous thoughts from his mind, he allowed himself to fall into a sort of trance. Individual points of life blurred together, blending into one hazy glow. All mages learned to do this kind of thing young, for few things could help him or her restore his or her own energy by melting down into a world or realm's ebb and flow. Some things stood out before fading into the rest.

Flashes of silver, fish in the sea. Pulses of green, the trees and grasses all around. Flows of blue from the sea itself, providing a constant source of moving power. Glowing black from the Aether, strong and foreign in this landscape. Angry red from Stark, a potent source of energy despite having no magic of his own.

This act, meditative and almost hypnotic, allowed Loki to disassociate from his own body to the point he couldn't even feel the pain. It was like a breath of fresh air after suffocating for years. It brought many things into sudden clarity.

For one thing, he knew with absolute certainty this would work. It would open the door, and the more times he did this the more his own seiðr would regenerate within him. The more that happened, the closer his body would come to finally purging the poison on its own.

For another, he could admit this all would've been impossible without two people. To an individual so used to relying only on himself, this was a strange revelation. Skaði and Stark were precious to him. He wanted them here. With him. Beside him. And he wanted it to stay that way.

And finally, he thought he would be able to return to the Nine Realms one day. For the first time, that thought brought him comfort rather than dread.

"It's working," Stark's voice said from somewhere very far away.

Blinking heavy eyelids open, Loki regarded the containment device in front of him. A fine pale blue mist surrounded it, a sure indication of this world's life energy slowly funneling into it. The device's lights were all blinking, proof it was successfully storing the influx.

Loki almost jumped when a hand landed on his shoulder and squeezed. So immersed was he in all life around him, the hand felt hot. Reaching up, he covered it with his own. Potent and blazing, Stark's essence instantly poured into him. Though he'd felt it before, this was the first time feeling it so clear and strong. The depth of his love for Loki couldn't be quantified or measured.

It was nearly unbearable.

Taking a deep breath, deciding he'd prepared enough, Loki squeezed Stark's hand and began channeling the golden energy inside him. The ragged lines in his skin flared with brilliant light, and now the pain could no longer be ignored. Steeling his spine so he wouldn't collapse forward, Loki directed it toward Stark's containment device.

~o0o~

Tony watched in absolute silence as gold light began flowing from his love into his upgraded reactor. The device's lights all indicated it was accepting and storing the energy, and he sincerely hoped this time it would stay put. I wish that shit was some sort of entity so I could beat the crap out of it.

Skaði, who had been pacing around Loki and the reactor, came to a halt at Tony's side. "I think it's working, Tony. I can feel that energy merging with this world's life essence inside your reactor. We won't know for sure until Loki stops, but I'll be able to tell immediately."

Though it might be too soon, Tony allowed a small flare of hope. Loki squeezed his hand so hard it hurt, so he knew his love was in pain. He didn't try to loosen his grip.

Time oozed by at a lethargic snail's pace, and by the time an hour had passed Tony wondered if he'd go crazy. He couldn't remember anything in his entire life making him so anxious. He wanted this to work with a desperation bordering on pathetic.

This last week had been good for Loki. His love felt more like his old self since that first day he'd brought Tony to this world. His arrogant charm had returned, his near-constant smirk was restored, and he'd teased and flirted with Tony on various occasions. It was wonderful, but there were still spells of that cold, emotionless god Tony couldn't reach. Fewer and farther between, these instances, but still there.

"Loki?" he said softly so as not to startle his lover. He could see perspiration beading on the god's naked torso and face. "How 'bout a quick break?"

Loki didn't open his eyes, and Tony saw him swallow thickly. He shook his head. "Can't."

"The flow has to be uninterrupted," Skaði explained, touching Tony's arm.

"But he's in so much pain," Tony protested, feeling worse than useless.

Loki just shook his head again, his grip on Tony's hand tightening further. Tony dropped his free hand onto Loki's other shoulder.

"Isn't there something I can do, babe?" he whispered.

For long moments, Loki didn't respond. Then, just as Tony thought his query would be ignored, "Ho-hold me."

That plea needed no second bidding. Tony instantly folded himself down onto the cushions right behind Loki, wrapping both arms around the god's slim chest. Loki slowly leaned back against him, and though he now supported none of his own weight, Tony could still feel every muscle in his body rigid with tension.

And those thin golden rivers beneath his skin glowed brighter each minute.

After another hour, Tony felt him start trembling.

After a third hour, he let out his first choked sound of distress, and Tony wondered if his heart would break. His hands, squeezing Tony's arms so tight, would certainly leave bruises.

"Why is it taking so long?" he asked Skaði.

She paused in her constant circling. "He has to go really slowly so the energy will stick to this world's life essence. Otherwise it will just flow right back into him like it did the last time. But I think he's getting closer."

Her mental voice was calm, but Tony could see the tightness around her eyes and mouth. The calm was a veneer, a façade she kept up for Loki's sake. He knew her vigilance was just her way of feeling useful. He completely understood. Reaching up, he put a hand over Loki's forehead and turned his love's face into his shoulder.

"I'm right here, babe," he breathed.

Loki's skin felt hot with fever. He drew in a shuddering breath. "S-Sta . . . ark," he panted, "I-I'm al . . . most done." He swallowed harshly. "Get your . . . reactor a-as far . . . from me . . ."

"I'll take care of that," Skaði said, soothing. "You stay with him, Tony."

Tony just nodded, not taking his attention from Loki. He was trembling harder now, breathing labored and ragged, skin burning with fever. Despite that, the determination was still clearly etched into his countenance, and Tony felt a sort of wonderment. Was there anyone anywhere capable of handling more than this god? Truly, no one in existence could possibly be more amazing than Loki Silvertongue.

Skaði suddenly stopped pacing, her focus zeroing in on Loki. She stalked toward the reactor, the pitch black of her eyes swallowing up the whites. Loki abruptly arched up in Tony's arms, mouth falling open in a silent cry. The only sound that issued forth was a choked grunt.

Then the golden haze flowing from him to the reactor vanished, and Loki collapsed. Skaði clapped her hands onto the reactor, and black light fully enveloped it in the blink of an eye. She picked it up as if weighed nothing and sprinted across the sand.

Feeling the anxiety peak and crest so powerfully he felt sick, Tony frantically pressed his fingers to Loki's neck. The feel of his pulse, fast and fluttery, offered some relief, but he looked white as death. His dark lashes stood out in stark contrast to the unhealthy pallor.

He shifted so Loki was fully in his arms. It reminded him suddenly of that night in Nidavellir, holding the god who had pushed himself to the very brink trying to save his three human companions. He clenched his jaw. He can do anything he puts his mind to. And all I can do is hold him and hope me pulls through.

"You awake, babe?" he whispered, pressing lips to a damp, hot forehead.

Loki made a faint sound, shifting a tiny bit. "You aren't useless."

Unable to help it, Tony barked a soft laugh. "How the fuck do you know that's what I was thinking?"

"You're terribly predictable," came the barely audible reply.

Tony felt a burst of relief to see a tiny smile on Loki's face. He hugged his love closer. "You look like shit."

A quiet snort. "I'll rest a few days, and you'll be back to your usual fawning."

"I still love ya," Tony assured him, feathering kisses down the bridge of Loki's nose and across his cheeks. Then he took a deep breath and gathered the nerve to ask, "Did it work?"

Finally, Loki opened his eyes. Though the exhaustion was plain, they were bright and clear. "It worked. All the energy I just channeled out was successfully severed from the rest still inside me. Skaði helped encourage the separation by smothering the reactor with her own power, discouraging it from trying to leave its new vessel."

Hope and relief, so potent Tony actually felt weak, flared. He twisted a little so he could cover Loki's eyes with his hand. "Then get some rest, babe. We can head back to Vign tomorrow, okay?"

Loki offered not a whisper of protest, and Tony realized he'd already fallen to sleep. Warmth spread through his entire body. Now they knew it was possible, all he had to do was tweak the ship's capacitors so Loki could continually power them.

They were one step closer to that wonderful day when his love would be healed.