Sorry this took a while, but it's finally done! Thanks for the reviews!

These characters aren't mine

But, then, wasn't he being ridiculous? He had no claim on Lex, so why should he be jealous if the guy had a boyfriend?

"Alec, what the actual fuck?"

Alec. Magnus looked up and, yeah, Alec suited him a lot better than Lex did. Alec. It wasn't much to go off of as far as finding information on the guy, but it was nice to know the real name of the criminal he was slowly developing an embarrassing crush on.

"Okay, Jace, calm down. This isn't what it looks like. It's-"

"It looks like you brought a cop into our home!"

"Okay, it's just what it looks like. But, seriously, chill. It's not a big deal."

"The cops know where we live!" this Jace kid was beside himself. Jace strided over to Alec and cuffed him over the head. "Idiot!"

So maybe not a boyfriend?

Alec kicked Jace's shin. "Dude, he was passed out when I brought him here! He doesn't know jack shit about where we are!"

Magnus glanced around. That was an excellent point. How was he going to get home?

He probably should've thought of that sooner, actually. It maybe should've been his first concern. Ah, well.

"He's not passed out now!"

If Magnus had any doubts that Alec was doing something illegal, which he really hadn't after Alec's outburst earlier, they were gone.

"Okay, no." Jace took a deep breath. "You're not an idiot. You're the smartest one of us, besides maybe Simon, but Simon's a nerd. There's a reason for this. Let me guess. You're interrogating him?"

"Pssh, yeah, I don't know why you would even doubt me for a second, of course I'm interrogating him, he's a cop, an enemy, there's no reason why I would actually just take him here out of the goodness of my heart, nope, no way, he's terrified right now, actually terrified, because of me-"
"I'm going to beat you up. What the fuck?" Jace threw his hands in the air. "Alexander! I can't believe you brought a cop into our home!" Magnus sat down. This was probably going to take a while. "Do you realize how dangerous that is?" Jace stopped abruptly, before digging into his pocket and pulling out his cellphone. He pressed one number, the number 2, and it speed dialed someone. Jace pressed the phone to his ear. "Oh, hi Iz. Great news. Max is no longer the only one in our family with a terminal illness. Alec has been diagnosed, by me, with a fatal case of stupid. Get home and bring a gun. Or three. And don't bring Max. Or Simon, he's a dweeb."

Ah, so Izzy was heavily involved.

Wait, a gun?

"Whoa whoa whoa, hold up, Regina George," Magnus drawled. "I'm unarmed. And innocent. If you couldn't tell from the immense guilt on," he coughed and stared at Alec, "Alec's face, this was totally his entire fault. I was passed out, because some asshole was a thieving douche, and Alec brought me here against my will."
"Please," Alex scoffed, "against your will. Like you wouldn't fork up big money for me to take you home."

"Oh, God, you're sleeping together?" Jace pressed a hand to his forehead, like that was the last straw. Magnus was beginning to realize that this guy was as dramatic as they come. "Alec, of all the people to lose your virginity to, a cop? Really?"

Alec flushed bright red. A virgin?

Magnus would never have guessed that. But he supposed it made sense. Drug kings, or drug princes or whatever the hell Alec actually was to this business, probably didn't have a lot of time for love. Or one night stands, or whatever.

"We aren't sleeping together!" Alec snapped.

Izzy chose that exact moment to walk in, clasping three handguns. "Aw, bummer. You need to loosen up. Who aren't you sleeping with?" Her eyes drifted across the room until they landed on Magnus, who was relaxed and sitting on a stool by the counter. He looked bored. "Oh, hey, Bane."

"You know him too?!" Jace looked beside himself. He whirled on Alec. "Not only did you bring him home, you left me out! Oh the secrets, oh the treachery!" He paused. "Wait, did you just say Bane?" For the first time, he noticed the name stitched into Magnus' uniform. "Bane? Like the cop you said was tailing us? Of course he is, dumbass, you brought him here!"

"In my defense, that was before Magnus and I bonded."

Magnus rolled his eyes. "When?"

"I dunno, maybe when we made out a few days ago."

Magnus distinctly remembered Alec being mad about that. Or, at least, he was a little betrayed and skeptical.

Izzy and Jace whirled on Alec. "You are sleeping with him!"

"Okay, no."

"Is he still on our tail?" Jace asked. "Or, more accurately, sitting with his filthy claws sunk into our tail?"

"Yep."

"Holy crap!" Jace cried out, looking to the ceiling like he was begging God to strike down Alec where he stood. "This is something I would do!"

Alec shivered and made a disgusted face. "Oh God, you're right." He looked at Magnus, horrified. "I fucked up so bad, I acted like Jace. Shit. That's it, I hate myself."

Izzy snorted. "I feel like we don't actually need these guns." But she handed one to Jace and one to Alec, just in case. Alec put his in his boot. Izzy noticed right away and her gaze became one of a pissed off mom. "Stop doing that!" she snapped. "You're going to shoot your foot off!"

"You can't control me."

"She's right!" Jace said, plucking the gun from Alec's shoe. "Stop!"

"You keep yours in your pocket. You'll shoot it up your ass," Alec pointed out.

"That's a pretty sexual thing," Magnus muttered, "for a virgin to say."

Alec glared.

The door opened again and everyone turned their heads. Another young man, which mouse-like features, curly brown hair, and glasses perched on his nose, walked in with a box. "This here, my friends, is a sample of the newest batch of cocaine we just got imported. This is, like, only ten kilos, but there's plenty more where that comes from. Thank you, Jordan! No more dealing in alleys, doing work that high school dropouts can do for us."

Magnus stared.

Simon seemed to just notice the cop in the kitchen. He forced a choked laugh. "HA, guys, isn't it funny how I call sugar cocaine? I think it's funny! Because sugar looks like cocaine, but really it's sugar! So funny!"

Magnus blinked. "If I had my phone right now, you'd all be arrested."

"See!" Jace flailed his arm toward Magnus. "Alec, why would you bring a cop here who can't be trusted?"

"He blacked out! What was I supposed to do, steal his money and abandon him in a dark alley?"

"No, of course not! Just abandon him, why would you take his money?"

Alec groaned. "Ugh. Meet my family, Magnus."

And what an interesting introduction it was.