Sort of a slow update, sorry.
Sixteenth Installment: The Endless Night
Space pretty much met up with Tony's expectations. It seemed pretty big, it was pretty cold, and it was pretty dark. If by 'pretty' one meant 'really fucking tremendously'.
The ship's chronometer informed him they'd been flying for six days, but it felt like half that. For a man easily bored, being confined in a relatively small area with literally nowhere else to go turned out not to be a death sentence. In fact, he was enjoying himself so much he wondered if he'd missed his calling to be an astronaut.
He never ran out of things to do. Tinkering with the engines to coax a little more speed out of them. Calibrating the ship's sensors to reach farther with greater sensitivity. Building a new flight recorder. Engineering new control panels to suit his "Man from Earth" style. Doing inventory and creating lists of things he would need to do when they reached a new planet. Making tools out of parts just for the fun of it.
His only complaint was Loki.
His love didn't avoid him or treat him with indifference or anything like that. He had moments of affection, moments of snark, and oft did mischief glitter in his gorgeous eyes. But he disallowed most forms of intimacy, including kissing. He wouldn't snuggle, wouldn't kiss, wouldn't even let Tony hug him. Except when it was time for sleep.
It was Skaði who shed a little light on this reluctance. "I think he's trying to make it easier for you."
"How is this easier for me?" Tony grumbled, tossing a cube up in the air and catching it. It looked vaguely similar to a Rubix Cube, but instead of colors it had various lights. Instead of matching up one entire side with the same color, the purpose of this hand game was to set the lights in the correct pattern.
Way more challenging. Tony had made the thing himself as a stress relief.
Skaði visibly hesitated. "I don't think he likes denying you," she said. "It bothers him that his body won't allow intimacy. I saw him studying his reflection yesterday, and his eyes were very bitter. I know he enjoys your attentions as much as you."
Tony blinked. Somehow, it had never occurred to him Loki might be just as frustrated as he was. He sighed and stood up. "Thanks, kitten. Go play."
Giggling, she trotted out of the cockpit. She, at least, seemed to have no issue with nicknames.
Heart of the Nine was like a ship straight out of the Star Wars movies. It had faster-than-light-travel capabilities, but instead of jumping into 'hyperspace', it phased into something the Light Elves called a 'slipstream'. It involved a process they'd written of as slipping between space and light and sort of riding it to a new destination.
He'd asked Loki if this at all could be compared to traveling through the shadow, and Loki gave him a rather surprised look before confirming that it was. Tony filed that information away.
But traveling in the slipstream wasn't as easy as that. One had to know his destination. Since Nine had no records of this unknown universe, Tony had solved that problem by doing quick jumps into and then right out of the slipstream. It allowed the ship to cover much greater distances while minimizing the risk of colliding with a star or asteroid.
Nine had seventeen crew cabins and a captain's suite. Most of the crew cabins were empty, and some had been turned into extra storage compartments. One was now an extra lab where Tony could do research and tinker with the tech on board. Best not to get complacent now that they'd officially entered the unknown.
He'd also begun experimenting with various defensive weaponry. One never knew what lurked out there, and he had the love of his life to protect.
And the captain's suite was where they slept. It was a relatively large cabin for a ship this size, containing both a comfortably-sized sleeping unit and a sitting area. The furniture here was all new, and the attached bathroom had a self cleaning commode and shower.
Loki spent a good portion of his day in the suite, meditating and generally sitting still and focusing inward. The kind of thing that would quickly drive Tony mad if he participated. As usual, Tony walked in to find him sitting cross-legged on the sofa, eyes closed. The sleeveless tunic showed the glowing lines of gold, a little brighter than usual.
Tony went to him and ran the flat of his palm up one smooth arm. "Whatcha workin' on, babe?" he asked.
Loki opened his eyes and looked up at him. "Just meditating." He unfolded his legs and leaned back. "I've been trying to extend my senses beyond the scope of the ship, but it's still difficult." His expression soured. "I'm still leery of the possibility of the energy powering this ship remembering me and trying to return to its former . . . home."
Suddenly aching to hold him, Tony stood up. "Jarvis, notify me if anything alarming comes up," he said.
"Yes, sir," the AI voice confirmed.
Tony sank down onto the sofa and reached for Loki.
Who recoiled. "Don't," he warned softly.
Tony moved no further, but he didn't retreat. "Please," he said. "I just wanna hold you. That's all."
For several long moments, he feared Loki would deny him. Finally, he gave a short nod and rather stiffly leaned back toward the human. Tony tugged him down against his chest, shifting until they were both pretty much reclined. And for another short eternity, Loki remained rigid and unresponsive. Tony dragged his hands up and down Loki's bare arms, keeping the touch too firm to be erotic.
"I love you, babe," he murmured, pressing his nose into ebony hair. It smelled like lavender.
All at once, Loki relaxed against him. He melted down into Tony's embrace, smoothing one hand over the man's chest. "I know you do," he said quietly.
A comfortable silence fell, and for a while Tony's thoughts about the future and excitement over what they might find out here amused him. Then the present simply wouldn't be ignored any further. Loki, the one he loved more than anything, was right on top of him. Inescapably close. A warm weight pressing right down on him from neck to ankle. His body took notice and made a few demands.
Loki instantly tensed. With a displeased sound, he sat up. It was a fast and jerky motion, and it put too much space between them. His whole countenance spoke of . . . not quite anger, but definitely not happiness.
"Where you going?" Tony demanded, definitely not ready to let go. "I was just getting comfy."
"I'm aware," Loki said, voice inexplicably cold.
"Are you mad?" Tony asked, sitting up. "Hey, I can't help it if just looking at you makes me horny."
Loki gave him a flat look. "Do not blame your lack of control on me." A warning. Borderline threat.
Tony stood up, holding up his hands in a disarming fashion. "Why are you getting mad? So I want you. I'll never not want you."
The god paced away with an aggravated sound. "And you think that somehow escapes me? I can't give anything to you right now, Stark."
"Loki, babe," Tony entreated, feeling a sort of panic to hear the hostility in that voice, "I know that, all right? And I'm not -"
"It brings me no pleasure to deny you," Loki cut him off, finally stopping the pacing to look him in the eye. The verdant surfaces were frozen over. "You aren't the only one who feels the loss of intimacy."
Tony barely managed not to wince. "I don't care about that," he said. Then, when Loki's eyes narrowed, "Okay, yeah. I miss it. And I'd be lying if I said I couldn't wait to resume. We haven't been able to explore a sex life yet, what with saving Earth and all of the fucking Nine Realms from some batshit crazy megalomaniac sociopath with an even bigger ego than mine." He offered a crooked grin.
To his delight, it made Loki's lips twitch in a hint of amusement. "A miracle of no small proportions," he agreed, and his voice softened.
Tony didn't dare relax, not quite yet. "So yeah. Okay. I feel the loss of intimacy. Fucking you feels fantastic, and I love doing it. But babe, there's so much more than just that . . . the reasons I want to be with you are a million and ten, and the sex is just one. Do you believe me?" It was as close to insecure as he came.
Loki visibly hesitated. Then he relented, moving back toward his lover to reach out and slide slim fingers through Tony's dark hair. It felt wonderful. "I believe you," he said in a low voice, "but this is difficult for me, too." Another hesitation. "It's not as though I can't recall our trysts. I vividly remember each one, and I want more."
He lowered his hand, and an adorably contemplative look came over his beautiful face. "I have never wanted more. This is a novel feeling, and I want to explore it." He turned away again, and tension radiated from his thin frame. "Yet I cannot. I hate this inability to heal myself."
Tony could only imagine. He put his hands on Loki's shoulders. "I wish we could find Thanos and kill him. For good, this time." Then he frowned. "But would he be able to . . . I dunno. Do this to you all over?"
Loki threw him a glance, and this time the word hostility didn't do the emotion justice. At least Tony knew it wasn't directed at him. "No," the Norse god said, once more beginning to pace. "He surprised me when he captured me. That will not happen again. Especially here, with my connection to Yggdrasil finally severed. And if we do encounter him out here . . ."
Tony felt two equally strong, completely different reactions at those words. The first, an aching pity for Thanos. The poor bastard. The second, and entirely inappropriate, a rush of arousal and desire.
Since when does a threat of violence turn me on? he wondered.
Loki was watching him with a very tiny smile. "Truly? The thought of me destroying Thanos stirs your loins?"
Tony instantly grinned, partly because of the hilarious way Loki said it, and partly because Loki looked so cute and even confused. "It's your voice, babe. When you go all dark like that, it makes me hot."
"Well at least try to control your libido," Loki instructed. He brushed past Tony and sank down onto the sofa. "Sit down, Stark."
"Awfully bossy with your captain, ain't ya?" Tony said, raising an eyebrow.
"Sit down, Captain," Loki rephrased.
Still an imperious command. Tony could find no reason to disobey. He plopped himself back down on the couch. Loki at once reclined, nudging and shifting until Tony wrapped his arms around him and moved into just the right position to serve as a living body pillow.
So damn cute. Tony couldn't stop grinning. "All comfy?" he inquired, resisting the impulse to lean down and bite that perfect nose.
"It will do," Loki said, closing his gorgeous eyes.
Chuckling, Tony decided he could go for a nap. Far as he was concerned, the more rest Loki got the better. He settled a little deeper into the comfortable cushions and closed his eyes. A painfully deep contentment stole through him, warm and sweetly aching. Loki had captured one of his hands, and he idly rubbed his thumb over the backs of Loki's fingers.
How long they lay like this, he had no idea. But at some point, the comm chimed. It was very soft.
"Sir?" Jarvis said. "I calculate point four-seven-three light years until we've reached a solar system with a star similar to Earth's sun. There could be planets capable of sustaining life."
"Good," Tony said quietly, aware Loki had fallen to sleep. "Plot course. But fly in quiet, all right? No point drawing attention to ourselves until we know what we're looking at."
"Yes, sir," Jarvis said. "And sir, Master Loki's vitals indicate good health."
Tony smiled. He hadn't commanded Jarvis to monitor that. "Good man, J," he murmured, pressing his lips to Loki's soft hair.
It was nice to have a destination, but he certainly didn't mind these quiet days drifting in the endless black of space.