Note: This chapter corresponds with 'Nariel the Red' Chapter 76
Athrana (Wandering Shadow)
Chapter 56- Separate Ways
TA 3019 March 8th Early Hours
As they processed everything that she had said Athriel watched the others talk. They were deciding what to do next, with the new information that the hobbit had learned from the Dark Lord. But Athriel didn't join them, she had no such decisions to make, wherever Aragorn went they would follow. That was why they had come. Instead she sat numb while they sat silently beside her. They didn't have long before they would have to move, but she was determined to give them as much time as she could.
Elladan's first thought when Athriel had finally finished talking, was that maybe she had been right not to tell them. It reminded him of when she had described her torture to Elrohir, while he sat alone in their room trying to push the images out of his mind. He had longed for just one more minute of not knowing, one more minute of ignorance. But that hadn't happened then, and it hadn't happened this time either. He couldn't unlearn what he had just heard.
Elrohir's reaction as always was slightly different. He tried to understand what he had heard. He tried to make sense of it all, to rationalise it. But that didn't help. He couldn't understand how she felt, because he hadn't experienced what she had. He couldn't fix what had happened to her with comforting words and explanations.
Between them they replayed the part of the conversation that had disturbed them the most.
Suddenly she was in Imladris. She was sitting in one of the gardens on a stone bench. She could hear footsteps approaching. She knew who it was. It was them. She looked down at her feet. There was a carcass there, a grotesque mangled body. And it was all her fault. "It's all your fault" she said closing her eyes. But it didn't come out the way she had meant it. She had directed the comment at herself but now they were standing tensely behind her.
"We could have saved you" one said, and unlike in real life, she didn't know which one had spoken. "But we did nothing" the other added. "We made you what you are" They continued back and forth "We made you a monster". She turned towards them with tears in her eyes. What were they saying? Then they were standing over her with knifes in their hands. They struck out at her as one. ""We could have killed you""
They had both had that same dream, before in Imladris just before the realisation that Athriel had been the shadow. Their first night after they had seen her again after all of those years.
Now they were finally asleep but their worries remained. Side by side they walked towards the figure sitting with her back to them. It was Athriel, but Athriel as they knew her before, as they remembered her. She was sitting on a stone bench in the gardens. They expected her to turn as they approached but she continued to face the other way as she spoke. "It's all your fault" her head tilted slightly to one side and suddenly they weren't in the gardens anymore. They were suddenly surrounded by trees and it was dark.
Athriel was different as well. Her clothes were ripped and her hair was short. They could see the blue marks on her neck alongside the horrific scars. "You could have saved me." They stopped just behind her not wanting to go any further, not wanting to see her face now. "You could have killed me" Their vision flashed from Athriel now to the Athriel they remembered and back again. "But you did nothing."
She turned towards them then. Her mouth was smeared with blood and her eyes were black. Her hands were covered in gore and her finger nails were long. She was kneeling on the ground beside a mangled corpse. She licked her fingers and smiled grotesquely. "You made me what I am." They took a step back in horror. "You made me a monster."
Yes, there had been differences between the two dreams, but they were eerily similar. Had she been picking up on their dream or had they been picking up on her worries.
Athriel looked up as a dark shadow moved across the sky. Their time was up, they had to move on and move now. She watched Aragorn turn away from the group and move with Gandalf towards the hobbits. As he moved he caught her eye and her suspicions were confirmed. They were moving on. "We have to go" she said standing to pack their belongings. Maybe the ride would give them all time to think. But she had one last thing to do before then.
Athriel could see Nariel and her uncle Grimbeorn bidding farewell to the others. Evidently they were travelling with Gandalf and would not continue with Aragorn on his quest. Athriel was glad, she knew where the mortal's path would take him and she was glad that the young wizard would not be going that way. The paths of the dead were no place for the Istari and her unborn son. Unfortunately that meant that they would be parted from Prince Legolas for a time, which Nariel would not be taking well.
The elf approached the wizard cautiously as she moved to climb onto her uncle's back. Nariel turned towards her and smiled slightly. "Namarie Athriel" she smiled back. "Namarie Nariel." She grabbed the wizard's arm in farewell but was pulled into a hug. "I am sorry that we did not have more time to spend together before parting" the woman sighed, but Athriel shook her head. "There will be plenty of time when the war is over. We shall see you in Minas Tirith." Nariel nodded, but her eyes were on Legolas as he made ready to leave with Aragorn. "Don't worry Nariel" Athriel whispered "We won't let anything happen to him"
Then they were riding their separate ways.