AU: wow. that first chapter was intense. as for whether he's alive or not: you're about to find out.

I opened my eyes very slowly. the light in the room was bright. I immediately knew I was in a hospital. I saw my friends and family., fred, gogo, honey lemon, wasabi, and aunt cass. they hadn't noticed I was awake yet. on one hand I was glad to be alive, but on the other, I was afraid of what would happen next.i also debated on telling them I had an out-of-body experience. I wondered if they would believe me. I decided to let them know I was awake, but when I tried to talk I realized I had lost my voice. knowing I couldn't talk I reached my hand out and put it on my aunt's shoulder. she looked up at me and I gave her a smile to let her know I was physically okay. but my mind was racing.

"Hiro!" everyone cheered as they crowded around me. I didn't mind though.

"Hiro, I'm so glad you're okay!" aunt cass proclaimed. I sat up.

"How long was I out?"

"Almost a week." Gogo replied.

"Wow." I looked down at my wrist to see a huge gash stitched closed. some of my other cuts had mostly healed over by now.

"I'm so sorry." I choked out, "I didn't want this to happen. I mean- I... did. but not now. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to leave you guys, I just..."

"Hiro, it's okay." fred comforted me by giving me a hug to calm me down.

'Hiro, I read the note you told me about. I'm so sorry. I had no idea..." aunt cass trailed off.

"It was my fault for keeping it from you." I said, "I should've told you a long time ago."

hiro's note:

deer reader,

I'm not dead yet... hopefully. but I know I can't hold on much longer. my life is hell. I've been bullied my whole life. people would call me names at frist, but it then escalated into them beating me up every day. remember those black eyes and bruises I came home with all the time? that wasn't an accident. that was constant abuse. I've never told anyone about this. and no one needs to know. I could deal with it before. but something finally broke me. people were calling me gay, a slut, a whore, they nicknamed me "homo hiro". one day, they just had to be sure they were right.

they raped me. when I was 10.

three of them took their turns on me for a whole hour. they beat me afterwards.

it gets worse.

then tadashi died in the fire at sfit. that was it. I couldn't take it any longer. I cut deeper; cried harder every night. I broke when they raped me, but I shattered when tadashi died. I want to see him again. wherever he is, I want to be there with him. and I want to get away from this hell of a planet. I want to be free of my trials and burdens. I have no hope of being happy without tadashi. I need him. I CAN'T live without him.

enjoy my company as long as I'm alive. it can't be long.

I'm sorry.

-hiro

"What happened?" honey lemon asked cautiously.

I looked at her. I decided she should know. all of them should know.

"I've been bullied my whole life. it was harmless name calling at first. it wasn't even that bad. then it escalated. they started calling me gay. and a slut. I was given the nickname 'homo hiro'. when I was 10, they decided to see if it was true."

"They did NOT." Gogo warned.

"Ya, they did. they raped me. they took my virginity when I was 10. three of them took their turns on me for an hour strait. I finally broke. that's when I started cutting. I cried every night. I still do. then when tadashi died. I shattered. I cut deeper; cried harder." I decided to take my hospital shirt off and show them my scars so they didn't underestimate how bad it was. tears were now streaming down my face. this was my lowest point. they knew. they knew everything I didn't want them to know.

everyone looked at me in shock. I put my shirt back on and laid back in my hospital bed. I looked at my wrist. it scared me, honestly. I put that arm under the - who hadn't said a word the whole time- sat in a chair next to me and ran his fingers through my hair- just like tadashi used to. I winced and turned away. he then put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it.

"Listen, Hiro, I promice we won't let anything happen to you."

"Are you feeling any better?" the nurse asked as she walked in.

"I need help."