Chapter 42: Much Becomes Nothing
He couldn't believe it. She was here with him. They only kissed but as the night got later, they lay in bed, talking. She fell asleep first. She fell asleep in his arms. He pulled the covers over them both. She slept on peacefully but he was too scared to fall asleep. He was scared that this was really a dream. He was scared that if he woke up, she would be gone. He was scared that he would be taken from his bed by the one man, he was trying to escape from. He eventually fell asleep.
Upon waking, he found her still in his arms but very much awake. "Good morning." She smiled up at him.
"Good morning." He leaned down and kissed her. She responded with the same enthusiasm. He was still in his school uniform and she was in her pyjamas. "We best get ready for classes." He kissed her forehead before they both sat up and climbed off the bed.
"I'll meet you in the common room." She smiled at him as she left his bedroom. She thought about what she was doing. She was cheating on Sirius. With his own brother! Regulus seemed a little more reliable than Sirius. Well, except for the being a Death Eater part. She quickly showered, dressed, grabbed her bag and went into the common room. "Hi." She smiled, when she saw him standing there. "I have one thing to ask."
"You want to keep us a secret." He nodded. "It's fine. I thought you would."
She could see he was a little hurt. "It's just until I can get my head around what to do about Sirius."
"Kill him?" Regulus asked with a sly grin.
May laughed. "Don't give me ideas." She smiled at him and made her way to the door. "Breakfast?" He nodded and followed her out. The two talked about each other all the way down to breakfast and at the breakfast table. They liked getting to know each other. They found they had a lot in common. They liked the same muggle books, even though his parents did not know that he was reading them. People watched them suspiciously, especially the Slytherins. It was normal to see the Head Boy and the Head Girl to be talking but not getting along so well.
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As they approached Easter, May noticed that Regulus was behaving very oddly. He would disappear into the Restricted Section of the library and in the evenings, he would be in his room. He barely ate, he barely slept and he barely spoke to her. She knew it had to be something to do with Voldemort. He would come back from meetings and he would be shaken with fear. She would hold him in her arms as he cried himself to sleep. It frightened her to see him like this.
"Reg?" She spoke one morning, a week before the Easter holidays. "I'm going home for Easter."
They had been staying in his room a lot lately. They hadn't done anything except kiss. She made sure of that. He held her close this morning as he stared up at the ceiling. "Why are you going home?"
"Lily needs me to go dress shopping with her." She smiled a little as her fingers ran down his bare chest. "I'll be back 3 days before term begins again."
"You better." He chuckled. "Will you be seeing him?"
"Sirius? Yes." She sighed heavily. "I'm going to talk to him."
"Are you going to finish with him?" He asked tensely. His hands ran down her back, caressing her hair.
May bit her lower lip. "I don't know." She pulled away from him and sat up.
Regulus sat up and moved behind her. "What do you mean you don't know?" He turned her head to face him. "May. Please choose me. I need you."
She laughed softly. "I know. But it's hard to choose when I love you both so much."
"You love me?" He whispered in shock.
May nodded slowly. "Yes. Don't make me choose just yet." She lifted her hand and caressed his cheek. "Not yet." She bit her lower lip again as her eyes flickered between looking at his eyes to his lips. "Okay?"
"Okay." He smiled and leaned forward, pressing his lips against her own.
She smiled into the kiss. She chuckled as he pulled her down onto the bed. She shook all feelings of Sirius out of her mind as this man kissed her. He moved his lips to her neck, showering her skin with small kisses. His hand moved under her pyjama top, gently caressing her stomach. "Reg... We've got potions."
"Not for another hour." He spoke against his skin as he pushed his hand further up her shirt.
"No." She pulled his hand out from under her shirt. "Not yet." She smiled at him, when he raised his head to look down at her. She tucked a strand of his hair behind her ear. "Please."
He chuckled and nodded. "Okay."
May giggled when he started kissing her neck again. "Oi. Get off." She pushed him off but he lay on his back and pulled her on top of him. "I need to go and get dressed." She bent down and kissed him. It took them both a while before they could separate and get ready for their lessons.
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The train journey home was long and boring. She was the only one in the prefect compartment, which was nice as she could get to think in peace. But there were a few students going home for two weeks. She was nervous to leave Regulus behind. He seemed too vulnerable. He told her that he had a few meetings during the holidays but never told her what they would be about. She shifted her backpack onto her shoulder as the train pulled into Kings' Cross. She climbed off the train, expecting Sirius to be there to greet her. But it was someone she really needed to see. "Jamie." She smiled and ran up to him, weaving in and out of the parents and students. She wrapped her arms around him and held onto him tightly.
"Hello to you too." He chuckled as he held her tightly. "Come on. You're staying with Lily and I. You can see our new place."
"I'd love to." She smiled and he led her out of the platform and station. Once back at James and Lily's new home, she and Lily hugged for a long time. "Oh I am so sorry! I shouldn't have been a bitch and not write like I should have."
"It's all right. You've got a lot on your plate. How is everything?" Lily pulled away and the two sat on the sofa as James moved into the kitchen, making three cups of tea. "Your revision?"
"Quidditch?" James called from the kitchen.
May laughed. "We're winning." She shouted back to him before turning her attention to Lily. "I need to talk to you." She spoke in a quiet voice. "Revision is going great." She spoke a little louder. "I love being Head Girl. It's great fun." She smiled as she tucked a strand of her long hair behind her ear.
"James?" Lily called to her fiancé.
"Yes?" He returned to the room with a tray of three cups of tea. "Black and two sugars for my strange sister. Milky with 2 sugars for my very sweet wife-to-be." Handing them their drinks.
"Why don't you run out and get us some food from the Leaky Cauldron?" Lily suggested. She could see that her future sister-in-law was in need a girl talk.
"Sure." James smiled and nodded. He kissed Lily and then kissed May's cheek. "I'll be about half an hour." He picked up his coat and left the large flat.
"Right, talk." Lily turned to May. "What's happened?"
May took a few deep breaths, bit her lip half a dozen times before she actually spoke. "I'm stuck." She sighed heavily before continuing. "I think I may like someone else." Her teeth grazed her lower lip nervously. "Before Christmas, I kissed someone. Someone who wasn't Sirius."
"What?" Lily looked at her in shock. "Who?"
"Regulus." She whispered, staring at her hands, which twisted nervously in her lap.
Her friend continued to stare at May. No words would leave her lips. She always thought May to be the one to never cheat. Here she was, telling Lily that she had kissed Regulus Black. "Regulus?"
May nodded and looked up at Lily. There were tears in her eyes. "I don't know what to do. Help me, Lily. I love Sirius but I find myself really liking Regulus." The tears fell down her cheeks. "Please, don't judge me, Lily. We've done nothing. We've only kissed."
"I don't believe you! How could you?"
"Please Lily! I need you as a friend. I like him a lot but I have to let him go." Her tears were falling thick and fast. "I love Sirius with all my heart but he is a right ass."
Lily listened to her friend and then placed a hand over May's twisting hands. "Finish with Regulus. He will meet someone else and forget all about you. As for Sirius, he sported a black eye for a few days after the Marlene incident. Not your brother. Me." Lily chuckled. "He works with Marlene on the Auror program."
"But it's no excuse. He didn't push her off at all. I saw him, Lily." May spoke angrily. "What annoyed me the most was that none of you told her or him."
"I didn't think anything of it. She's always friendly. She's like that with everyone."
"But with Sirius most?"
"Yes." Lily nodded slowly. "I'm sorry, May."
May shrugged a shoulder and pulled her hands out of Lily's. "Don't apologise." She reached for her tea, which James had place on the small table next to her. "It's not your fault." May sighed heavily. "For all the things he has done, I feel like I need to be with someone else."
"Why do you like Regulus?" Lily asked as she sipped her own tea.
She shrugged her shoulder again. "I don't know. He makes me laugh. He's sweet and kind. We get on so well." She sipped her tea once more before carrying on. "I don't know. He's just... Reg." She laughed nervously.
"Is he a good kisser?"
"Lily Evans!" May laughed as she drank the rest of her tea. She blushed a little. "He is. Don't make me compare!"
"I wasn't going to." Lily smirked and sipped her tea. "So?"
"No!" May laughed again and sat back comfortably. "I'm telling!"
"So, you have decided who kisses better!" She laughed and placed her teacup on the table.
May blushed brightly. "Yes." She grumbled.
"Who?" Lily asked excitedly. She knew she shouldn't be encouraging it but she loved a bit of gossip.
"Yes, May. Who kisses better? Me or my brother?" The two women turned to see Sirius and James standing in the doorway.
Both Lily and May stood up. "Sirius." May whispered. "Please..."
"Fuck you!" He glared at her. "I did everything to make up my mistakes and here you are. Paying me back by sleeping with my brother!"
"I'm not sleeping with him!" She strode over to him and stood directly in front of him, glaring at him. "He wants to have sex with me but I've told him no. Because I love you!"
"Well it didn't stop you from kissing him!" He glared at her.
She slapped him hard across the cheek. "How dare you! How fucking dare you! I wasn't the one, who invited their partner to sneak out of school and have their heart broken because their boyfriend was being pursued by a slut!"
"Marlene's not a slut!" He shouted at her.
"Well, she couldn't keep her hands off you! I didn't see you complaining!" May glared at him. "At least your brother knows how to treat a woman!"
Sirius grabbed her shoulders and shook her. "He's a Death Eater!"
"I know! He told me!" She pushed his hands off her. "He is terrified! He wants to get away! I'm trying to help him!" She hit his chest with her fists. "He needs help!"
"No, he doesn't! He chose that path! Let him take it alone! Don't let him drag you down it!"
May hit him one last time. "No! I will help him! We're over, Sirius! I never want to see you again!" She turned her back on him. "I choose your brother!"
"Fine!" He shouted at her. "Don't come running to me when it all goes wrong!" He left the flat, slamming the door in his temper.
"What the hell, May?!" He brother stared at her in shock. "I brought him here to help you two sort everything out. We find you here talking about his brother and you?" He stormed into the kitchen, dumping the food on the counter. "Who the hell are you?"
"Jamie, please!" May begged him, following him. "Where are you going?"
"To see if my best friend doesn't drank himself to death!" He didn't even look at her as he stormed out of the flat.
"No..." May sobbed. How could she be so stupid? "Oh Merlin!" She sobbed as she leant against the passageway wall, then sliding to the floor.
"Oh May!" Lily rushed to her side and sat next to her, holding the young woman in comfort. "It will be all right." She held May tightly as she cried helplessly. May had just lost the man she loved and now her brother would not look at her.
"Why me? I did nothing!" She sobbed. "When Sirius slept with Katie, I forgave him. Why can't he do that for me? I have never had sex with another person. I have only ever been with Sirius!" May sobbed hard into Lily's arms.
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During the Easter holidays, James finally spoke to his sister. He understood her problems but he wished she had spoken to him first. Not letting him find out through eavesdropping. Lily and May found the perfect wedding dress for Lily and a blue bridesmaid dress for May. The two women sat in a café in muggle London. They were trying to figure what May could do. "I'll just forget about it. I won't go any further with Reg. I won't bother with Sirius again."
"Why? You love Sirius. You said so yourself." Lily stirred her hot chocolate as she listened to May.
"I do. But he can't forgive me. Why should I bother?" She shrugged her shoulders, taking a nibble of her sandwich. "I bet he has been sleeping around ever since he found out about me and Reg."
"I don't know. James won't say anything."
"Oh well." May sighed heavily. She took in her surroundings. Her eyes settled on two burly men in the corner of the café. "Lily..." she said slowly.
"I know. I've spotted them." She nodded slowly. "You have it nearby."
"Up my sleeve." May spoke quietly. "Let's go. Best get out of a public place." She stood up, as did Lily. The two women thanked the waitress and left the café. "Who are they?" She whispered to Lily, as they walked through the busy streets of London.
Lily looked over her shoulder. The two men were following them. "Crabbe and Goyle. Disguised quite well."
"But that means. Malfoy is here somewhere. They never leave his side." May said in fear. "We need to find somewhere to apparate to your place. Fast."
"I agree." The two walked quickly, weaving in and out of the many people there. "This way." Lily grabbed May's wrist and pulled her down an alleyway. "Duck!" She pushed May behind a bin and she hid too as a curse flew their way. Both women pulled out their wands and started throwing curses back at Crabbe and Goyle. "Go! May, go!"
"You too!" She shouted at Lily. "Stupefy!" She shouted, aiming towards Goyle, but missed.
Lily nodded and the two quickly disapparated back to the flat. "May?"
James was on his feet when Lily apparated into the room, as was Sirius, Remus and Peter. "What happened?"
"ARGH!" A scream came from the hallway. All five of them rushed out into the hallway to see May on the floor. Her right leg was covered in blood. "ARGH!" She screamed again.
Lily rushed forward. "Accio essence of dittany." The small vial flew into her hand. She pushed up May's trouser leg, uncorked the vial and carefully healed May's splinching.
"Sirius..." May groaned in pain as Lily continued putting drops on May's injured leg.
Sirius was immediately at May's side. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."
"Reg..." She moaned in her unconscious state.
Sirius moved away. Why him? Why his brother? Why his girlfriend? "I can't be here." He muttered as James lifted May up and carried her to the spare room.
"Sirius, stay." Lily spoke softly. "She feels really guilty for what she has done." She placed her hand on Sirius' arm. "She's scared." She walked away from Sirius, leaving him with Remus and Peter. Sirius was started to feel really guilty. He was being harsh with May but for good reason. But then he was being really hypocritical. He didn't want to admit that.
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May returned to school a week later. From the time she was injured to the time she left, she never spoke to Sirius. He never came to the flat. She even sought out his face when she boarded the Hogwarts Express. But he wasn't there. She wanted him to be there. She needed him to be there. The journey back to school was awful. She just wanted to make up with Sirius but she was stubborn as they come.
"May!" Hannah greeted her at Hogsmeade Station. The two best friends met in a tight hug. "Are you ok? You able to walk?"
"I'm fine, Hannah. I'm perfectly able to walk." She smiled as the two girls walked back to school, arm-in-arm.
"So, come on. Tell me. What happened?"
May sighed softly and slowed their pace, to allow students to go ahead of them. "Well, Lily and I were dress shopping and we went to lunch in a café. We noticed two men watching us. Crabbe and Goyle. We got out of the public but they started attacking us. We apparated back to Lily and James'. I got splinched." She chuckled nervously as they got closer to the gates, where Professor Flitwick was checking everybody in.
"And what about Sirius?"
"Well, that's still in the air. We had a massive argument the day I got to James and Lily's place. Not really spoken to him since. He found out about me and Reg." She bit her lip nervously. "I don't know what to do, Hannah."
Hannah gave her arm a comforting squeeze. "You'll think of something." She smiled as they walked into the school grounds.
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May left Hannah to take her things to her Common Room. "Reg?" She called out as she walked in. The entire place was littered with books and papers. She couldn't read many of them as they were written in runes. "Reg?" She knocked on his bedroom door. "I'm back."
He opened the door and smiled slightly. She could tell something was wrong. "I'm stuck. I can't get out."
She forgot all about telling him that they had to stop. She wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly. "It's okay. We'll figure something out." She held him tightly. She led him into his bedroom and the two of them lay on the bed. He cried and she held him. It was going to be hard to let him go. She didn't want to hurt him twice as much as he was right this moment.
A/N: I know some of you don't like Reg/May but it is for good reason. :D
Responses from chapter 41:
CharlotteBlackwood: Great minds think alike. :) I wanted that scene to be showing that Regulus was trying his best to seduce May. :D Hope Sirius reacted like the way you wanted him to.
Lizaluvsdoggies: *Hands a paper bag * Yes, Reg will die soon... Unfortunately. :( Thank you for loving my story. I love getting reviews from new people! :D