Athrana (Wandering Shadow)
Chapter 62- The Light Highlights the Darkness
TA 3019 March 10th
Suddenly the dark tunnels came to an end. They were in the sunlight again and all breathed a sigh of relief, Athriel included, but it took her a moment to adjust to the light after the darkness. They were all blinking a little but she doubted that it caused any of the others physical pain. The light was like a stab of ice into her brain, but she recovered quickly. She forced herself to recover, forced herself to adjust. And while she did the brethren did not move from her side. They stayed stubbornly beside her rubbing her back and grounding her, for that she was incredibly grateful.
Legolas turned his face towards the sun and laughed with relief. It was good to be out of the dark. They still had a long way to go, but he was another step closer to Nariel and his unborn son. Aragorn as well breathed a sigh of relief, but they had to hurry forward. They had a long way to go and their time was running out. He turned back to urge them all forwards but turned back quickly. The dead where following behind them, but that was not what had scared him? He had happened to catch a glimpse of Athriel as she shied away from the sun.
She had looked different in that moment. Very different. He was used to seeing the scars, and her short cropped hair. But this time he had seen something different. He had not seen Athriel, his brother's long lost friend, who survived death and fought for his survival. For the first time he had come face to face with the Shadow. He had seen the creature that boiled her blood, the part of her that clambered for vengeance, the creature who ripped the orcs to shreds with her bare hands. What he saw scared him to his core. Her hands were twisted and claw like, her lips pulled back from her teeth revealing the almost fangs underneath. And her eyes were black and menacing. She caught his eye then as she pushed the darker side away. But he had seen it, and she knew he had seen it.
Calling for the others to follow Aragorn moved forward. And for the first tie he wondered whether she would be able to keep control. Throughout everything, from meeting Athriel out in the wild, until that very moment he had not doubted her. He had seen her as a symbol of hope, a sign of endurance and strength, overcoming all odds to stand tall beside him in his quest. But now? What he had seen shocked and confused him. He didn't know what to think anymore. But he kept walking; he kept going, as his hand strayed to the Evenstar pendant around his neck.
In her room overlooking the valley Arwen sighed sadly. She had the feeling that Aragorn was thinking about her, and she worried. She worried about the quest that he was on, she worried about him and her brothers and Athriel and she looked at the darkening sky. There was a storm coming, there was war and destruction and one of the only places she truly felt safe being was threatened by it. She didn't know what to do. She wanted to help, she wanted to stand beside those that she believed in and fight for her life with them, but she couldn't. Before her father would have been reluctant to let her fight, even with her training, both from Glorfindel and Athriel. But now, now it was impossible, now she was surprised he even let her leave her room. Choosing mortality may have opened her up to the life that she wanted, the life she needed, but she was fragile now and she wasn't sure how to deal with that.
Meanwhile Erestor and Glorfindel had returned to their rooms. Glorfindel sat on the long chair staring into the unlit fire while Erestor poured them both some tea. For the first time since Athriel's 'death' they were actually going to talk about this. Before Glorfindel had been the strong one, letting Erestor fall apart while he kept them whole. Then when she had reappeared he had fallen apart while all the time trying to hide the reason from Erestor. But now, now they were going to be honest with each other. Glorfindel had decided that he could not keep anything from his mate any longer; he couldn't protect him from the truth. So when Erestor sat beside him and handed him the tea, Glorfindel took a deep breath and let it all out. He poured out his guilt and frustration, he poured out everything he had been feeling since seeing Athriel alive on the banks of the river right up until the present where he had to push aide his fears to protect the valley from the attack they knew would come soon enough.
Athriel walked along after regaining control and wondered about the light and the dark. What once had been a comfort, the light of the day on her face, had become a torment. Every time she thought she was getting better, every time she thought she had a hold of her life, that everything was going to be alright, there it was the reminder of how much she had changed. Just like when she had been hiding amongst the trees watching Elladan and Elrohir flirting with Nariel. See; see how much you hate the sunlight now. See how different you are to when you left. You can't go home now. You have to stay in the shadows. That's who you are now, the monster that stalks the darkness. The light was the constant reminder of how the darkness had spread. Sometimes you see a ray of light through the clouds, a single strip of light in the darkness and it gives you hope. Until you remember that it is only light. An insubstantial break in the dark clouds. The same way that a rainbow is nothing more than an optical illusion. They say that every cloud has a silver lining, but all the silver does is give shape and contrast to the darkness, making it easier to see. You realise eventually that the darkness is far larger, it has more texture and suffocates as slowly one by one.
But then they stopped in their march and she could see the Corsair ships that they had been told would be approaching. She could see the path that they were destined to take and she remembered what they were fighting for and she had another thought as did many others. Aragorn looked towards the approaching ships and then back towards the dead army that had followed them out of the mountain. Elladan and Elrohir stood unwavering on either side of Athriel determined to carry on no matter how scared they were or how much was at stake. Legolas felt Nariel's presence as they got closer and closer to their destination and knew that she too was thinking the same thing. And in Rivendell, Erestor and Glorfindel sat side by side contemplating their fears, as did Arwen looking out towards the war she knew was about to change everything. And all at the same time they all shared a single thought. 'There is no courage without fear. We fear because we have something to loose. We fear because there is so much at stake. But we have much to fight for. We can't turn back now. We will fight on and we will win because we will not accept anything less.'