Words I Couldn't Say

Chapter Five: "Lovely Lavender Lilacs"

(Helga's Point of View)

When I awoke the next morning it was to find my mother opening the windows and letting the bright sunshine pour in. "Good morning, sunshine," she said in a sickly-sweet voice.

I groaned and pulled the blankets over my head. She could be so annoying in the mornings. She'd try and sound all sweet while waking me up but all it was just plain obnoxious! I snuggled deeper into the warm comforter and tried to block out the sunlight.

Grabbing the blankets and pulling them back, my mom frowned at me. "Helga, I wanted to talk to you before you head off to class today."

I moaned again and sat up. "Is this about Arnold, Mom?"

She nodded. "Sweety, I was up all night worrying about it."

"Criminey, Mom! I am seventeen years old!" I glared at her. Then without thinking added, "I spent most of my life taking care of myself."

I saw her cringe at that. That was a sharp blow. "Helga, honey, I'm sorry, but after last night, I just don't know." When I didn't answer she continued, "your father and I had wanted this to be a new start for all of is, and that's not going to happen if this Arnold thing consumes you all over again."

I was getting irritated now. "Okay, Mom, stop it alright," I snapped. "Your lack of faith in me is so comforting. You can go back downstairs and stop worrying about me. I can take care of myself. I'm not a moron." I glared at her. I couldn't help it, the Arnold thing seemed to be getting under my skin and what did my mom know about the situation anyway. All she knew was what I had told her, the rest of it she had been…shall we say, indisposed for.

"Helga, honey, what's gotten into you? You haven't acted like this for a long time." She was frowning questioningly at me.

I shrugged. "Nothing…just had a nightmare and didn't sleep well, so I'm probably just grumpy."

She seemed to feel better after my lame excuse and wrapped me in her arms. "I love you, sweetie. I've got breakfast downstairs when you're ready and a lunch all packed for you." She kissed my forehead.

I tried to smile at her. "No shaving cream?" I asked.

She smiled back. "No shaving cream."

I sighed after she closed the door behind her. My stomach was all in knots with nerves. I wasn't quite sure what to think about this first day. I had all the normal first day, new school expected jitters, but there was that additional little Arnold jitter springing around inside my stomach like a trapped frog.

I got in the cold shower to wake myself up and tried to clear my head. I hummed a little tune to myself as I dried my hair and put on just a light touch of makeup. If there was one good thing Olga taught me it was a little bit of makeup goes a long way. Some high school girls would cake and pile on makeup until suddenly what should be eyes and a mouth and a face became an abstract painting by Picasso.

I put on a pink shirt with khaki capris and threw a pink ribbon in my hair. Pink was a great color. It felt empowering, and it also made me think of Arnold. He had always liked my pink bow as a child. Arnold, my love…what are you doing right now? I thought to myself as I headed down to breakfast.

(Arnold's Point of View)

I grinned contentedly to myself I pulled up into the parking lot. I could actually feel the excitement…and nerves welling up inside. School in the end may suck, but there's nothing like the first day to brighten one's spirit. And I was pretty sure that my little surprise for Sandy would mend most of the problem created the night before.

"Hey, Arnold!" I heard someone call from behind me. I turned to look and saw my friend Ben walking towards me. "Man, so tell me how it went with Sandy yesterday."

I had forgotten that I had told him that she was coming over. He pretty much knew everything about me and that included my feelings towards Sandy. I told him the short version of the story—including the part about our dinner and how she was mad at me by the end.

"And, Ben, it's so weird, I know I know that girl from somewhere!" I finished.

He stared at me a minute with a strange look on his face. Finally he simply stated, "Arnold, you know how Sandy is. You really should have been more attentive."

"Ben, what are you even talking about?" I asked, feeling a little annoyed.

"Girls can be over-dramatic it's definitely true-especially Sandy. But from the way you go on about Sandy I thought you liked her more than that." His deep bass voice went even lower at the last statement.

I raised an eyebrow and glared at him. "More than what?"

"Well, more than enough to let some random blond distract your attention for so long. You're too much, man! I should have known this was just some weird crush that came and went for you." He seemed uncharacteristically irritated as he slammed his locker shut.

"Some crush? Some crush!" I exclaimed. "It's not just some crush! I really do like her!" I was angry now too.

"Look, Arnold," Ben said placing a hand on my shoulder. "We're friends right? Well, Sandy's my friend too and you can't keep playing these games with her feelings. Sometimes you really hur—upset her and then she comes…uh…whining to me. And don't forget about what happened last year-"

"Games? What are you talking about? I really do like her. And anyway, aren't you over reacting? You know when you get those annoying feelings where you are trying so hard to remember something and it's just out of your grasp, and it just...it just bugs you!" I shrugged. "That's all it was. Sheesh!"

"Okay, whatever you say, Arnold, seriously, man, don't hurt her."

I shook my head at him and we continued walking in silence, Ben finally turning to go to his class as I contemplated what he had said. I did love Sandy. I knew it. I had never felt this deeply about anyone before. It was just infatuation like it had been with Ruth, or Lila or anyone. It was real and I could feel it in every fiber in me-in every butterfly I got when she was in my sight, with every shiver when she touched me, with every smile that she brought to my face. There was no doubt in my mind. I hadn't been thinking about the blond girl because she took my affection away from Sandy. I was thinking about her because the feeling that I knew her nagged at the back of my brain like the distant sound of a drippy faucet in the middle of the night-I couldn't ignore it and the more in persistent the more annoying it got and the less I wanted to deal with it.

Suddenly I was jarred out of my thoughts when I felt myself collide head on with someone as I turned a corner. My backpack fell of my shoulder and I landed hard. Rubbing my head lightly where it had quickly began to throb I stood up and reached down to help up the girl I had knocked down. She took my hand and as she stood up I finally looked to her face. I felt a little gasp in my throat and saw her blue eyes suddenly widen as she too looked up into my face.

"Arnold!" she gasped, with a strange, dazed expression.

It was the blond from the restaurant-my mind immediately recognized her again. I was so surprised. "You're…you're…"

"Very sorry," she stated as she seemed to pull herself together. She dusted off her pants and picked up her books once more.

"I know you," I managed to get out finally.

She looked almost scared for a moment. Slowly she shook her head.

"Don't I?" I asked, feeling confused and suddenly doubting myself.

She gave me a half smile. "Probably, we go to school together," she said casually.

"No, I don't think—"

"Arnold, you're always so nice, you know everyone around school," she assured me lightly.

(Helga's Point of View)

He still looked confused and a bit dazed. Hope I didn't cause any damage to that gorgeous, football shaped head of his.

"Don't feel guilty that you don't remember me." I gave him a friendly smile, the whole time my stomach was doing flip-flops.

"I don't think—" he began just as the bell rang, signaling five minutes until class.

"Look," I interrupted, quickly, just wanting to get out of there, "I'm really sorry I ran into you, but I don't want to be late for class!" I hurried off down the hall with only one more glance back to see Arnold staring at me with a puzzled look on his face.

Inside the classroom only a few people were there so far. Spotting Sandy I decided to sit with her since I didn't know anyone else, and besides, everyone else looked like a bunch of chuckleheads.

"Hey, Sandy," I greeted her. "Hope you don't mind if I join you." I plopped down in the seat next to her and began pulling out my binder.

"Sure," she replied with one of her award winning smiles. She looked to the boy on the other side of her and smiled. "This is my friend Ben."

"Hi, Ben. I'm Helga," I offered,

"Nice to meet you. I'm guessing you're new since I've never seen you, so how do you two know each other?" he asked smiling. He was very good-looking. Tall—at least six three—with a big build. He had long, shaggy—but attractively so—black hair and a few small freckles sprinkled on his nose. His eyes were the darkest shade of brown I had ever seen and looked like maple syrup…all warm and welcoming. He grinned at me when he noticed me looking him over, and I couldn't help but grin back.

"Oh, we met at The Vinyeard last night," Sandy replied cheerfully. "Arnold took me," she added, with a big grin and a little swivel of her slender shoulders.

Of course she had to add that. I felt like rolling my eyes. It totally bugged me that she had been out to dinner with Arnold. But I shrugged it off and listened to what this good-looking Ben had to say.

"I already heard about it." He chuckled. "Sandy Ann…what are we going to do with you?" he reprimanded, grinning mischievously at her.

"Do with me? What do you mean?" she asked. She twisted a strand of hair around her finger and rolled her eyes at me.

"Arnold," Ben said, his tone sounding annoyed. "He tells me you're mad at him again."

"Yah, but knowing the two of you, no one heard my side." She let the hair twisted around her finger go and it spun around as it untwisted itself.

He gave her a look that told her he disagreed. Then he turned to me. "Sandy Ann here has this atrocious temper, don't you?" Without letting her reply, he continued, "apparently our poor little friend Arnold last night did one little thing and it made her madder than a wet hornet."

I laughed and Sandy shot a joking glare at me and Ben. "That's something my 90 year-old grandma would say," I chuckled.

Sandy groaned. "I'm working on the temper thing, Ben, okay?" She turned to me. "Besides, Helga, don't believe everything Ben tells you—he's quite the story teller."

"Okay, okay. Sorry, but please! Just forgive him soon, you guys have way too good of a friendship to let it end over something so trivial," he stated.

Sandy glared at him again.

"Sorry, not trivial." He smirked and put his palms up, "completely serious."

Wanting to push the matter and see if what Arnold had done to her, I asked, "what happened? Why are you mad at him?"

Sandy's face got all red and she looked down at her desk instead. Ben didn't seem to notice her discomfort and said, "oh, he ignored her for a second and wouldn't listen to her silly chatter." He winked at her, but she continued looking down as she traced the design in her desk with her fingernail.

I wanted to pry more and ask about the reason he ignored her and what not, but I felt bad for making her so uncomfortable. I mean I still kind of like her, and it's not her fault Arnold loves her, and that I love him and he should actually love me and be with me and be blowing her off instead of me. You get the picture.

"Well, I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Sandy," I told her rather awkwardly-being comforting still wasn't my strong suit. "Arnold's not the kind of guy to go out and purposely hurt someone's feelings."

They both looked up at me then and gave me a strange look.

"That's very observant, since you only saw him for—what?—a second at the restaurant." Sandy stated arching a delicate eyebrow at me almost suspiciously.

"Uh…um…well, you know," I breathed in nervously. "I'm very good at, uh, reading people," I lied.

Ben opened his mouth to respond when Mr. Merrill walked in. Our mouths dropped open at his insane outfit. He had on khaki dress pants, a pink button-up with a green vest over it, a tie that looked like it had been in the back of someone's closet far thirty years, and shoes that were taupe and tan. He was a round fellow with wavy, eccentric hair. He looked to be about forty and we knew immediately that this would be an interesting class.

"Hello, class," he greeted. "I am Mr. Merrill and I will be you're A.P. English teacher this year. I'll hand out these syllabi and you will need to follow along as I go over each imperative article."

Ben and I exchanged glances as he handed out the syllabus.

"Okay, class, first of all this class is to help you in your expository, argumentative writing as well as introduce you into the study of literature. You will learn how to read each text analytically and the hope is that you will be able to argue your point of view using substantiation from the text and the world around you…"

Wow, this teacher is crazy, I thought to myself as I listened to him go over the syllabus. He used humongous words and so far had said the most random things I could ever think of.

"Now, class, I'm going to break you up into partners so that we can prepare a little introduction for the class. You will learn about your partner and then share what you have learned to the class." He began pairing people up and I ended up with Sandy as a partner.

"Hey, nifty," she smiled as she turned to me, pen in hand. "Go!"

"Go?" I laughed. "You mean ask questions?"

She giggled. "Sure, whichever part you want to do first."

"Name?" I asked with a wink.

"Sandy Ann Transtrum," she smiled.

"Any siblings?"

"Two. Two younger brothers."

"Favorite color?"

"Lavender."

I grinned. The first time I saw her she had been wearing a lavender shirt and today it seemed again she was dressed in a lavender and white striped blouse. "Okay," I smiled suddenly. "I've got a good one."

"Okay," she giggled. "I'm ready."

"If someone asked you what you think would be the most relaxing place, or thing, or activity what would you say?"

She gazed out the window dreamily. "It's wintertime, the Christmas tree in set up in our living room by the big window in front. It's dark and I'm all alone and watching the lights twinkle while I sip hot chocolate and listen to Bing Crosby sing 'White Christmas'." She sighed and looked up at me.

I smiled back. That did sound peaceful and relaxing and she had made it sound so nice, although I would like to be sitting there with a certain someone…not by myself.

We were interrupted then by a few gasps around the class. I looked up and it was as if everyone was staring at me. I felt nervous until I realized they were, in fact, staring at Sandy. Someone had come in from the office and brought a huge bouquet of lilacs and they were now being presented to her.

She gasped and let out a little squeal. She quietly thanked the T.A. and smiled at me. "I love lilacs!"

"Yah, and as my old friend Mrs. Vitello would say, they are currently way, way out of season. Someone must really like you to go out and find them for you." I bit my lip, knowing full well who would be so considerate. "Why don't you open the card?" I asked, I figured that this was a common occurrence for her, since she probably had guys falling left and right over her.

She opened up the little card and quietly read it to me. "I heard once that roses heal the soul, but for you only a lovely lavender colored lilac would do! Please forgive me! Arnold."

(Arnold's Point of View)

I waited nervously by her locker when lunch arrived. I hadn't seen or heard from Sandy since last night. I spotted Ben as he came running up to me.

"Wow, Arnold, you're pathetic," was all he said as he jogged off to his locker.

Finally I saw Sandy rounding the corner with the bouquet in hand. She saw me and started rushing towards me, her eyes sparkling with delight. I let out a little sigh before she reached me. She looked happy. Maybe I had done something right for once.

"Arnold, I can't imagine what you went through to find lilacs in September!" she gasped setting them carefully in her locker before grabbing me in a fierce hug. "They're wonderful!"

I hugged her back and smiled. "Well, I felt really bad about last night and I want you to know that you are my…my…friend and I do…respect you and care about what you think."

She smiled and said, "I know. I woke up this morning and I knew I over-reacted and I was totally going to apologize..." she trailed off for a second. "I can't believe you bought me lilacs! This about makes my year!" She squealed loudly and everyone around us stared at her as she wrapped me in another big hug.

I breathed in one last breath of her amazing smelling hair, and stood back. "Good. You ready to go to lunch?" I asked, rubbing the back of my neck.

"Yah, I need to run to my math class first to grab something, will you save me a seat?" Her eyes were sparkling and she could hardly stand still from her joy. Obviously the lilacs were a success.

"Of course," I smiled.

"Thanks again," she said, leaning forward to place a small kiss on my cheek. "You're so sweet." And she sauntered off down the hall.

I turned around feeling dazed and as the owl in Bambi would say, "twitterpaited".

"Oh, and Arnold," she called from down the hall.

I turned to face her, hopefully not looking too lovesick.

"I invited my new friend to join us for lunch, I hope that's okay."

"Sure." I smiled. I was a little sad that it wouldn't be just the two of us, but not effected enough by it that it would affect my mood in the least. I didn't give it much more thought. I'd won Sandy back over and not I could try to take it a step further soon...hopefully.

Posted: January 2008

Updated: March 2016

-Arnold's Love