Elena skipped down the stairs the next morning; excited for the prospect of seeing Damon. She'd missed him last night while she was lying alone in Stefan's bed. It had been quite a while since she'd had to fall asleep without someone holding her tight to their chest. Okay, just Stefan. But Damon could easily take his place and Elena wanted him to know that.

She arrived in the kitchen to find an envelope with her name in Damon's scribbly handwriting next to the coffee pot. She noticed that he'd already brewed some and she poured herself a cup before settling down on a bar stool and tearing open the seal.

Elena,

I should be back around noon. I just had to take care of something. Stefan called this morning just to check in and see how you were doing. I told him I'd tell you and give you the number he can be reached at right now because he left his phone here. 437-234-5867. So if you need to call him feel free. I hope you slept well and I'll be back soon for you.

I love you.

Damon

Elena stared at the number, which had clearly been written down with so much pressure the pen practically cracked through the paper. She so desperately wanted to call Stefan but it wasn't very fair to Damon. This was his time and she shouldn't waste it. But he wasn't here and he'd never have to know.

Elena grabbed their home phone from the port and dialed half the number before setting it back down. It was just wrong. It was exactly how she felt just a couple months ago when Damon kissed her, or she flirted with him. Like she was betraying him.

So Elena left the letter on the counter and walked into the living room, the fire blazing as it always was no matter the weather or time of day. She curled up beside it and found a copy of East of Eden by John Steinbeck on the couch. Instead of pondering the oh so tempting number in the room over, Elena began reading a book she'd had to read junior year. And she remembered it being truly ancient and terribly boring.

The door slammed shut and one second Elena was finishing a chapter and the next she was in the entrance hall to see Damon carrying a large paper bag.

"Did you go shopping?"

"No," he said, wrapping one arm around her shoulders and leading her down to the basement. "I was just getting some more blood from the hospital. You said you didn't want to kill people so we're doing it your way. And we're going to need a lot if you don't want to lose control."

"Thank you, Damon." He had no idea what this meant to her. Him simply saying we're doing it your way. And he did it in such a way that it didn't seem like something Stefan would do. And that was important, because at the end of this she hoped she would be able to see a large difference between the two and know which option she liked better, or in this case loved better.

He nodded and tossed a blood bag at her from the large paper bag before putting it in the large chest like freezer.

"Is it human blood?"

"Yeah. Is that okay?" he asked, worry clouding his voice. "I know this isn't what Stefan does, but seriously, if you do it this way you'll never lose control like he did. You'll be sort of like me except you won't have a bunch of pent up anger that results in dead people. End conclusion, no dead people, and a super strong, beautiful, capable vampire."

Elena looked at the dark red liquid in the bag and remembered saying she would give everything to this relationship. And trust was one of those things she would have to give him. "It's totally fine. I don't want to ever be vulnerable to a guy like Klaus."

"Good. Now, here is how the procedure works. At first, you're going to want to suck every single bag in this entire house dry, but I won't let you do that. We'll start with five bags today and stay there until I don't have to chain you up to a wall."

"You're going to chain me up to a wall?" Elena questioned nervously.

"That was an exaggeration. I'm basically just going to hug you really really hard."

"That sounds much more pleasant."

"Anyways, once you're at that point, we'll slowly decrease the blood intake until I can take you into a room that has blood sprayed on the walls, with bags scattered all around with some dripping onto the floor, and you can just walk out with no regrets. Understood?"

Elena nodded. "But how long will that take?"

"Well since you're more stubborn then a donkey, it shouldn't take long."

"You just compared me to a donkey!" Elena exclaimed in fake shock.

"Must be the nose," Damon chortled. And then she attacked him, putting everything she had into a single shove. He crashed to the floor without little effort and wrapped his arms around her waist since she was already directly on top of him. She nipped up and down his neck, leaving hardly noticeable marks everywhere. He groaned with pleasure and clasped her head in his hands to move her lips to his. She began kissing them ferociously biting his bottom lip to open his mouth to her searching tongue. His tongue quickly followed and they began a fast paced dance of fleeting contact. His hands inched up under her shirt and began running up and down her torso, avoiding the breasts just in case there would be a protest. He loved kissing Elena too much to stop now. Elena had to feel skin beneath her fingers so she rolled over, crushing Damon's hands and began running her fingers up and down his abs which rippled at her touch. He wanted her and Elena knew but she wasn't sure where that would put them. Her kisses became much more sloppy and Damon paused to ask what was wrong.

"I'm just thinking."

"Too much, it seems," he murmured rolling off of her and moving to a sitting position. "What can I do to help?"

"Nothing. You're the problem. I just don't know what...doing...doing...it...I don't know where that would put our relationship, and that scares me. I want to be able to go backwards if it turns out I need to."

"Stefan and you had sex," he said bluntly.

"That was so long ago it won't make a difference. It might now though and I need my head to be clear."

Damon nodded and stood to offer Elena a hand up. She grasped it and he pulled her against him in a hug. Elena twirled her arms around his neck and held on like her life depended on it.

"I understand, Elena. I really do."

Elena visibly relaxed and kissed him on the mouth. "How about that blood?"

*I haven't heard much rallied support behind a mature rating, so I just toyed with the idea a little. I think I will, but I need to be sure it's okay with you guys. They just seem to end up in those type of situations a lot. :)