Words I Couldn't Say

Chapter Eight: "Phantom Feelings"

(Arnold's Point of View)

School had been moving along smoothly for the past few weeks and it finally seemed like things were in a nice routine. That was always one thing that I liked about school—it put you onto a schedule which was always welcoming after a crazy summer break. So far my senior year was sailing along pleasantly with nothing big or small happening. Good grades seemed to be my lot so far too. Can't complain there.

The weather was definitely transitioning into fall. The days were cooler and the nights crisp and clear. All around the leaves were turning orange and gold. Little Valley's football team was on a winning streak and the air smelled of victory. Quite often while we sat and enjoyed lunch we'd hear geese flying overhead, heading somewhere warmer for the winter.

As for Sandy and I, we were constantly growing closer and I was beginning to become hopeful that perhaps in the near future we could be more than friends. After a terrible week of battling she had finally gained the part of Christine in the school's rendition of "Phantom of the Opera". Ben had gotten the part of The Phantom and Sandy's swing choir partner Cash had gotten the part of Raul. Everyone was talking about the threesome and how excellent this year's play was going to be since they were an immensely talented trio. However, this meant that unless I met her for a few minutes after school or later after practice we actually didn't see that much of each other, and yet, I felt we were getting closer. Oh, not in a friendship sort of way—we had been as close of friends as any for years—but in a more than friends way. Being part of the yearbook staff I often had to stay after school to help so I'd meet up with her sometimes and we'd get ice cream at the local Dairy King or sit and talk for a little while before we headed home.

And then there was Helga. She and I had come to a cordial relationship. We could tolerate each other but often it seemed we were both walking on egg shells, afraid that if we weren't constantly careful we'd revert to the old days. Still, I was beginning to really enjoy her company and found it a good thing rather than bad when she would join us all for lunch or after school activities. I'd be a liar, though, if I didn't admit that is did bother me when she'd join Sandy and I during our time alone, but I could at least tolerate the intrusion instead of fighting with her.

Helga seemed to be falling well into the new school. She had made friends, joined the school newspaper, and was considering trying out for softball in the spring. She seemed happy and didn't seem to be having the problems I remembered from our childhood. That made me feel good and I assumed that could be what had caused her changed nature. I often caught myself sitting in class and wondering about her family life…wondering if it had improved at all or if she had just found a way to be in it but not a part of the anger and cruelty. She seemed so different from our childhood and I was glad for that. I don't think I could have handled having a female bully constantly insulting me as an seventeen year-old boy.

"Oh, you definitely should, Helga! That would be fun!"

I looked up to see Sandy and Helga approaching. Sandy was dressed in an orange long jacket, brown pants, and brown knee high boots. Helga was wearing her usual pink sweatshirt, jeans, and pink tennis shoes. They were chatting excitedly and waved when they saw Ben and me.

"Hey, what's so exciting," Ben asked pulling out a sandwich and biting into it. "Ah waha knoh cous id souns coo."

Sandy cocked an eyebrow and gave Ben a condescending look. "Don't talk with food in your mouth and I have absolutely no idea what you just said." She sat down glaring at him and said, "Helga's thinking of joining the tech crew for the play and concerts. I was just telling her I think that would be totally fun to have her around."

I nodded encouragingly. "I worked on the crew one time and it was lots of fun. You are a part of the show without having to be seen. You should do it."

Helga returned my smile genuinely and I couldn't help but think how pretty it looked. It hadn't been very often in the past that I had seen her smile, but it really softened her whole countenance. "Well, maybe I will."

We ate in silence until Ben sat up and exclaimed, "isn't anyone wondering how I'm doing as the Phantom?"

We looked at each other and started laughing.

"Feeling a little conceited there, are we, Ben?" Sandy giggled, shaking her head and patted his cheek patronizingly.

"How are you doing as the phantom, Ben?" Helga asked sarcastically, with a chuckle.

Ben smoothed back his black hair dramatically. "Oh, I am so amazing! My deep, bass voice just melts everyone's hearts, right, Sandy?"

Sandy started busting up laughing, almost choking on her apple, and finally managed, "if you call hitting the wrong notes about 100 times today melting my heart, than, Benjamin, my dear, my heart melted like a pile of chocolate chips on a hot summer's day!"

Ben playfully glared at Sandy as the rest of us laughed.

"But, seriously, Ben, you are doing a great job," Sandy's lips turned into a bright smiled and she patted his knee.

Ben winked at her and turned to Helga and I. "Well, if the truth must be known, Sandy will definitely steal the show. I'm not sure why I'm even trying."

Sandy smiled and shook her head, causing her hair to bounce. "Nah, we are all doing great. Anyway, moving on." She blushed slightly and smiled at me. "Arnold, you are awfully quiet today."

"Yah, football head, what's new?"

I didn't cringe at the name. It surprised me slightly that I didn't, but the tone in her voice was so different than any other time I'd heard her utter those words. It sounded kind. Almost like it was just a fun nickname for a friend. So I returned her smile and said, "not a whole lot. Yearbook's taking most of my time lately."

"Already?" Helga asked, completely surprised.

"Well, if we want to stay on top of it, we have to go page by page with each event during the year. But it doesn't bother me. It keeps me occupied."

"I wish I had had time in my schedule this year to join yearbook, but two choirs really do take up way to much time." Sandy shook her head. "Plus, the play is any extra time I have."

They continued chatting—Sandy, Helga, and Ben—but for a moment I paused and watched Sandy. She was listening to Ben tell a story about something. I watched as her sparkling emerald eyes lit up at the funny parts of the story and listened to her petite giggle as she tried to keep the laughter from spilling out. Every once in a while she would twist a strand of hair around her finger really tightly until she let go and it left a funny looking twisty thing on her head. It would stay there a few minutes while she said something and then finally I watched as she slowly untwisted it and brushed it out. Then she'd start all over again. I always found this very entertaining and cute and I smiled to myself as there was another twisted strand of hair on her head.

"Well, if it isn't Miss Liar-Liar-Pants-on-Fire," a deep voice from behind us said.

(Helga's Point of View)

I turned to see Cory Jackson looking down at me with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. I returned his smirk with one of my own and asked, "oh, you mean Sandy?"

She made a little squeak and said, "what are you talking about, Cory?"

I tried not to laugh when I noticed a strange twisted piece of hair on the side of her head that she had apparently forgot about in the commotion. I had seen her twist her hair but had never noticed the funny shapes it ended up making if she didn't immediately untwist each strand.

He casually tossed his backpack down between the two of us and joined our group. "Oh, not you, Sandradee," he replied giving her a meaningful look. "I was talking about Helga G. Pataki…who is now also known as Miss Liar-Liar-Pants-on-Fire."

Arnold, Ben, and Sandy all shot me a questioning look, but I returned Cory's gaze. "That sounds mature. How old are you? Three?"

Sandy apparently couldn't take it any more and stuck her face in front of Cory's and between the two of us. "Cory, why are you calling Helga a liar? I think that's kind of mean and as far as I know—"

Making a "shh" shape with his lips he put one tan finger over Sandy's lips and untwisted the knot in her hair with his other hand. She smacked him away and glared at him.

"Miss Liar-Pants here told me she had lived here in Little Valley her whole life….turns out, that ain't quite the truth."

I gave him a little evil grin. "And it so happens that Mr. Jackson here is quite the ladies man."

"Don't we know it," Sandy huffed under her breath, rapidly twisting another piece of hair.

"How'd you find out the truth anyway?" I asked acting nonchalant.

He casually laid down on the grass using his backpack as a pillow and looking at me. "Oh, it seems my friend Josh—who is in your A.P. English class—told me you were new around here. He thought it was pretty funny that you pulled a fast one on me. But seeing as how you lied, I believe you owe me a date." He leaned forward and stared intently at me.

Through the corner of my eye I saw Arnold roll his eyes. Apparently he didn't like this fellow, Cory. But apparently, he could care less about me. Oh, these past few weeks he had been polite and kind, but that was just Arnold. There hadn't been any real advances in our relationship and as hard as I was trying to get him to at least feel friendship towards me (friendship can always lead to more, right?) he continued to pursue Sandy.

It was getting harder to bare—watching those two together. Despite what others couldn't see, I could tell there was more and more evolving with the relationship. Just little things I'd notice when I casually watched them. Arnold would gently brush a stray hair from Sandy's face, almost caressing her. Or she'd touch his arm as if she just couldn't take the distance between them. And though it was most likely just a subconscious thing, they'd noticed the other's gestures and soon I knew something would happen. I was starting to feel the old jealous Helga coming back, but so far I was doing okay with keeping her at bay.

And it's not like I thought Arnold would be jealous or something, but the fact that he disliked Cory, made me wonder if he would notice me more if I were to…I don't know…accept Cory's proposal of a date.

"A date, eh?" I asked him casually looking at my nails. Not that they were anything to be examined, but still this seemed to work for other girls.

I noticed Arnold's ears perking up…okay, not literally, but he was definitely more attentive to the situation.

"That seems like a fair payment for your lies," Cory stated coyly, leaning closer to me.

"Or a fair penance," Arnold grumbled from behind Cory.

Cory just ignored him and narrowed his eyes at me. "So once more, Miss Pataki, what will it be…?"

"Well, I don't see why not—" I started slowly.

"Great, how about on Satur—" he interrupted.

"—As long as it's on my terms and under my rules," I stated matter-of-factly, finally looking back up at him and giving him a nice smirk.

I saw Arnold grin and clapped his hands together, and he said, "well, that's the Helga I always knew." He seemed very pleased with my response. Which made me have to hold back a lovesick smile.

Sandy winked at him and he was immediately distracted. Ugh!

"And what might those rules and terms be?" Cory asked, still actually casually cool.

"You pay. I drive. We go where I want and the night ends when I say," I stated, folding my arms defiantly across my chest. "Deal?"

Putting his arms up at his side he said, "okay, deal. What time and when?"

"Friday night. I'll be at your house at six sharp. You better be ready."

(Arnold's Point of View)

I leaned against the school's auditorium waiting for Ben and Sandy to come out of play practice. I had been working on a yearbook page for a couple hours and I figured meeting them would be a great opportunity to ask Sandy a question about our plans for the night.

Finally I spotted the two of them with Cash exiting the back doors. Ben and Sandy were talking excitedly between giggles and Cash, with face down, was covering his left eye.

"Arnold!" Sandy called waving excitedly as they quickened their pace to catch up. "What are you doing here?"

I smiled at her and began, "I was working in the yearbook room and didn't get done until just now so I—" I was suddenly distracted as Cash looked up and I spotted his swollen and bruising eye. "What happened to you?"

He shrugged ashamed and didn't say anything. The area all around his eye was swollen, bruised, and there was a long cut next to it.

Sandy started laughing. "Kristi got him with her cane during practice. Don't ask me how. But the way she throws that thing around while she over acts it's a wonder we haven't all been killed!" She rolled her green eyes theatrically.

"It looks terrible, Cash," I said. "Are you alright?"

He ran a hand through his dark hair and shrugged again. "It'll be okay. I'll just look amazing for our first choir concert next week."

"Aw, Cash," Sandy began putting a comforting arm around his shoulder, "you'll just have an adorably masculine scar! Chicks dig scars," she gave him a cute little pat on the cheek and a wink and I suddenly felt very jealous. I clenched my fists at my side and forced my face to stay neutral.

I always attended Sandy's choir concerts and had that same twinge of jealousy at each one. I should have joined choir like Sandy tried to get me to, but I refused. So now whenever I went to her concerts I had to watch her tangled up in Cash's arms. The Swing Choir was famous for having choir "Boyfriends and Girlfriends" and in concerts and performances they always performed that way in couples. Cash had been Sandy's partner the year before as well. And they were the talk of the school. And I had to admit that they did look very attractive with their dark brunette hair, tan skin, and engaging smiles. They were definitely the best—both in singing ability and entertaining the audience. But I dreaded every concert that I had to watch while she flirted on stage with him-real or not. I felt my eyes narrow as I looked at him.

"Well, I have to be home, it's my sister's birthday," Cash said uncomfortably and with that he started walking towards the parking lot.

"Bye, Cash," Sandy said waving cheerfully.

"He's such a weirdo," I stated, watching him walk away. Cash was kind of almost reclusive at times and could be insanely awkward in social situations if he didn't know the people around him well enough.

"Oh, Arnold," Sandy said condescendingly. "You sure are judgmental lately. Cash is an artist. People who are that musical are always a little...eccentric." She twisted a big bunch of hair and tossing it over her shoulder. "Besides he can write some gorgeous music so I think it totally makes up for the eccentricity."

I felt like gagging, or running away or maybe even smacking Cash. "So how was practice?" I asked trying to casually change the subject away from musical Cash as quick as humanly possible.

"Spectacular!" Ben exclaimed. "I am so amazing!"

Sandy started laughing. "You wish, Ben." Turning to me Sandy added, "all he did all practice was try on possible costumes. The rest of us did all the practicing." She grinned at Ben and her green eyes lit up as she looked at me once more. "You're still coming tonight? Mom and Daddy are way excited to have you over!"

"Oh, of course! That's actually what I wanted to ask you. You never told me what time to be over."

"Oh," she got a confused look and her mouth did a little dance back and forth as she thought about it. "Well, Helga's coming over at six…so six?"

"Wait, Helga?" I asked, suddenly feeling not as excited about the evening. "What about Ben?"

"Ben can't come, he's got a game."

Ben huffed from beside her. "I can answer questions about myself by myself, Sandy. Thank you very much," he teased.

She pushed him away playfully. "I've got this, Ben. You just sit back and bask in your amazing phantomness." She gave him a playful wink before turning to me again. "Oh, Arnold, don't tell me you weren't listening when I told you I invited her too." She put her hands on her hips and gave me a teasing frown.

"Apparently not. But that's fine, I'll be over at six," I said while Ben gave me that knowing look.

"Okay," she replied looking down at her cell phone. "I gotta get going so I can help Mom with dinner, but I can't wait for tonight!" With a little wave she headed on over to her little yellow Dodge Neon.

"I know what you're thinking, Arnold, and don't worry about it, it will be fine," Ben said, with a raised eyebrow.

"I know. I'm just a little disappointed that's all." I said avoiding eye contact

"Understandable. Understandable."

We started towards the parking lot and I begrudgingly kicked a rock along in front of us as we went. Helga. Always popping up at the worst times and ruining my time with Sandy.

"I am guessing you're planning on asking Sandy to homecoming," Ben said slowly and almost thoughtfully.

"When's homecoming?" I asked, totally blown away. I had no idea it was even coming up.

"In two weeks, you blond! Where have you been?" he rolled his eyes and looked back at me, "so…asking Sandy?" He sounded exceptionally interested in my answer.

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Well, I guess so. If it's not too late." I certainly hoped it wasn't.

"Oh, it's not. Trust me." He paused and he looked over at me without turning his head. "I was thinking of asking Kristi or Helga."

"Helga? Kristi?" I almost yelled, my eyes growing to the size of saucers.

"Quiet, Arnold! Geez!" Ben looked around nervously. "What are you trying to do?"

My mouth fell open in shock. "What am I trying to do? Me?" I shook my head furiously and grabbed his shoulders. "What are you trying to do?"

"What are you talking about?" he asked with an annoyed tone in his voice. "If I can't ask who-"

But I cut him off. "Okay, first of all we always double. Second of all, Sandy hates Kristi. Third of all…Helga? Helga G. Pataki?"

Opening his car door he paused and looked at me. "Well, Kristi and I have known each other forever and she's nice to me and she can be really fun. But I was thinking because Sandy and Kristi despise each other, I'd invite Helga. She's funny. We all get along don't we? Don't we, Arnold?" He looked at me meaningfully.

"I guess so." I shrugged. Helga?

"Good, it's settled then. I'll ask Helga." He got into his car and paused before closing the door. "And you had better get on asking Sandy, man. Oh, and have fun tonight!" and with that he closed his door and drove off.

With a sigh I got into my car and headed home to do my homework before the dinner.

Posted: August 2008

Updated: March 2016

-Arnold's Love