Chapter 59: Shock to the System

The fifth of November arrived. James and Lily's funeral arrived. Remus was afraid for May's health. She barely ate and she barely slept. She was still living with him. She had not returned to her flat, nor had she been to James and Lily's cottage. She did not even go back to work. "Are you ready?" He asked her. He was dressed in a black, yet shabby, suit.

"Yeah." She croaked, evidence that she had barely spoken for five days. She was dressed in a knee length black dress with lace sleeves. "Let's go." She stood up from the bed and slipped into her heels. She caught her appearance in the mirror. She looked awful; bags under her eyes, and she looked very thin. "I can't do it." She whispered. "I can't go."

"May." Remus stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm here. I am never leaving you."

"You promise?" She asked, a single tear ran down her cheek as she stared at her reflection.

"I promise." He whispered softly and hugged her tightly "Come on." He pulled away and reached for her hand. She turned and took his hand, letting him lead her out of the bedroom and the flat.

May did not let go of Remus' hand at all. They stood at the grave, watching her brother and his wife being lowered into the ground. "Ashes to ashes... Dust to dust..." She barely heard the man speak. Tears were constantly falling down her cheek. Her hand was gripping Remus' tightly. She did not want to let go. He didn't want to let go. This was a comfort for them both. Holding his hand was stopping her from falling to her knees.

"Do you want to stay?" Remus asked her.

She looked up. Everyone was gone. She was the only one left with Remus. "I just want to say goodbye. On my own." James and Lily were buried. The graves had been filled in.

He nodded and gave her hand a slight squeeze before letting go. "I'll be by the gates."

She nodded silently and waiting for him to be far away from her. "Oh Jamie." She sighed heavily. "Come back. Come back." She sobbed. "I'm so scared, Jamie. I need you. I need you both. They've taken Harry from me. I'm not allowed to have. Apparently it would be best for him to go to Lily's sister. She came today. On her own." She took a deep breath and carried on. She didn't even wipe away her tears. "What do I do? Please Jamie. Tell me what to do." She ran a shaky hand through her hair. "I'm... I'm scared, James. Lily, please. Come back."

An arm wrapped around her shoulder and she went willingly to Remus' arms. "Come on. We need to go home. You need to rest." He kissed the side of her head. May let him lead her away from the graves. It was hurting him to pull her away but she could not stand there all day. He knew that she would.

She was back in work two weeks after her brother's funeral and trying to get back into a routine but it was hard. People whispered behind her back. They were all different remarks. Some pitying her. Some calling her names because of who her husband is. She just wished that she could divorce Sirius. Like muggles could do with their marriages. A wizarding marriage was for life. She was stuck with her bloody wedding ring until the day one of them died.

May couldn't take it any more. She had written her notice and handed it to her boss. He didn't even protest. He was one of the gossips who thought she had helped Sirius. "I won't be in tomorrow. Never again." She spoke sternly to him and placing her name badge on the desk. The man did not even say a word as May left his office. She gave a sigh of relief as she left the hospital. That was one thing less she had to worry about. She had packed her things in her flat and took them to Remus' flat. She had become a permanent resident in his flat. He didn't mind. She liked it but she was getting fed up with him sleeping on the sofa. "Remus. I'm back."

"What are you doing home this early?" He asked as he came out of the kitchen with a cup of tea in his hand.

"I quit. I quit my job." She laughed but it was a nervous laugh. She had not laughed for a long time. It had been two weeks since James and Lily were killed. Of course she was not smiling or laughing. She had just lost her brother and her best friend. Her own husband had betrayed them all. It would be a surprise if she ever smiled again. "I couldn't be there any longer."

Remus laughed softly. "What made you do it?"

She sat down on the shabby sofa and shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. I was getting fed up with the gossips about me. I need to get away. I can't stay here any more." The tears began again. "I want to leave. I need to leave."

He sat next to her and placed his hand over her own. "Do you want me to come?"

She nodded slowly and looked up at him with watery eyes. "Merlin, yes. I need someone. More than anything."

"Why?" He asked in confusion.

She gave another shrug. "I just don't want to be alone." She moved to lean against his side with her feet up on the sofa.

He wrapped both his arms around her and held her tight. "You will never be alone. You'll always have me." Kissing the side of her head. "I've made you a promise. I am not going to leave you." He held her tightly as she cried again.

After careful planning, May and Remus had decided to go travelling. Remus insisted on paying for himself but May fought with him and won. She wanted to pay for him. The plan of action was to close up the Potter manor, make sure everything was tidy and then leave. They were going to be travelling the muggle way. First to France, then Germany, followed by Italy. They were going to do the whole of Europe before moving onto the East.

She stood in the middle of her old room, looking around. It was covered in white sheets, like all of the furniture in the manor. Remus was checking the ground floor of the house. They split the jobs. He was checking there was no food left in the kitchen. She was making sure all the sheets were on the furniture. She left her room with a heavy heart. She had so many good memories in this house. In her room. Everywhere on this property.

She had checked James' room first. Not wanting to spend too long in there. Her heart was broken. She had lost her best friend. James was her best friend. Always had been. It hurt her to be without him. She had to move on. But she didn't want to move on. Her last stop was her parent's room. She slowly opened the door and stepped inside. The room had become a bit of a storage room. One thing stood out. A cot. In the middle of the room. "Oh Jamie." She sighed heavily. Lily had told her that James was going to give her the cot for when she was having Lizzy. She rested her hand on the wood and gently rocked it. It was her cot and James' cot when they were born. A floorboard creaked behind her. "Remus." She gasped at the sight of him when she spun around.

"Are you all right?" He asked softly, leaning on the door frame.

"Yeah." She nodded, turning back and looking at the cot. "Just thinking."

"May, what's wrong?" He stepped into the room and stood opposite her.

Tears were running down her cheeks. "Remus, I'm scared. I'm scared that I can't do this."

"Do what?" He asked, walking around the cot and standing next to her.

She remained silent for a moment, tears still falling down her cheeks. She looked up at him and stared at him for a moment. "I'm pregnant."

A/N: Nearly over. :( But remember, there is a sequel!

Responses from chapter 58:

warewold-princess558750: Well you were right. The problem will be solved in the next chapter. :)