Chapter 31

Austin's P.O.V.

3 weeks after spring break.

I couldn't take it anymore. The guilt was eating me inside.

I tried distancing myself away from Ally as much as I could when I got back. Every time I looked at her beautiful face, I saw all the hurt and pain that I would eventually cause for her when everything came crashing down.

Now, if you think I cheated on Ally when I took my trip to New York, you're wrong.

It all started when Dez and I were walking on the MUNY campus.

"Dez, this place is going to be awesome" I said strolling down the sidewalk. "They have every class I would ever want here. Singing, dancing, playing instruments-"

"Not Ally though" Dez said, fiddling with something on his camera. His words took a second to process in my head, and then I stopped walking.

"Huh, I guess your right" I mumbled.

After that we headed to the campus office to get forms and pamphlets, and the registration form for auditions. But one thought was stuck in my head all day. Ally.

We would be almost a thousand miles apart when I left for college. I would never be able to see her.

Ally couldn't come with me either, she still has to finish school. I know that some long distance relationships work, but I can't see how. Not being able to see my girlfriend everyday would be torture.

So Ally couldn't be my girlfriend.

As I walk up the stairs to the main entrance of Ally's dorm, my heart screams no, but my head says yes, I am making the right choice, aren't I?

I knock on Ally's door , I hear padded footsteps and the door opens.

"Hey Austin, why did you come here? Not that I'm not happy to see you or anything" Ally says in her usual cheery voice.

I push the door open and sit on her bed silently for a few minutes thinking, about how I'm supposed to do this.

"Austin, is everything okay? You've been distant lately, and now you're acting weird, is something going on?" she asks.

"We have to talk" I say emotionlessly, tracing the pattern of her comforter with my fingers.

"Oh, what? You're gonna break up me?" she asks still in her cheery voice, playfully pushing me.

She doesn't have a clue.

I silently look up from the bed, and right into Ally's eyes, I can feel the guilt dripping from my facial expression, god I can't do this.

Ally's jaw drops and she stands up flustered. "Y-your breaking up with me? Why? What did I do wrong?" she asks, tears threatening to fall.

"You didn't do anything wrong Alls, I- I have to love you enough to let you go" I say standing up.

Ally shoves me back onto the bed, "No! I'm pretty sure I understand why you're doing, you started acting this way when you got back from New York" Ally sighs and then looks completely outraged, " I bet you found another girl who goes to MUNY, who's prettier, smarter, and just all around better than me!" she says standing over me.

"No Ally! I would never cheat on you! I'm doing this so I don't hurt you!" I yell pushing her off of me and forcing my way off the bed.

"You're hurting me now!" she screams back, clenching her fists

"I know that! But this way, we break up in person!" I say.

"What?" Ally asks, her voice lowering drastically.

"When I go to MUNY, we'll never talk Ally, we won't have time for Skype or texting, or anything, long distance relationships don't work!" I say frustrated, bringing my hands above my head and hitting the wall, resting my forehead on it, trying to calm down.

Ally came up behind me and put her small hand on my large shoulder "We can make it work, Austin, we can make time, we can still be togeth-"

I cut her off, "How many long distance relationships do you think last, Ally? Almost none. We won't last long" I say, not turning around, refusing to show the tears on my face.

"Why can't we be together longer? You still have months before you go to college" she says, impatiently.

"I'm giving you time to heal, Ally, can't you see. I'm doing this because I love you!" I say, finally turning around, seeing tears covering Ally's face as well.

"Are you sure that this is about me healing? Because I think it's you who wants healing. You don't want to still be in love with me if I find someone else while you're gone. Is that it? Is that why?" Ally yells.

I stood there motionless. Everything Ally just said is true, I just didn't know it until she said it.

If you loved me you wouldn't be doing this!" Ally screams. She picks up a mug off her desk and throws it at me, but I snap out of my trance and duck as it shatters against the wall.

"I have to do this Ally, for us" I say grabbing her wrist, she yanks away from me.

"There obviously is no us anymore" Ally says angrily. "Please leave" she said, "Before I do something I regret" she whispered.

"Ally, please don't do thi-" as soon as I say that, her lips are pressed against mine.

I moan and pull Ally's small body against mine, knowing this is probably the last time we will ever do this. We waste no time in deepening the kiss, our tongues all over each other. Within 12 seconds of making out, Ally lifts up her leg and puts it around my waist, and then her other. I walk to the bed and through her on the mattress, giving us a second of air before we start again.

"Austin" Ally moans quietly, I almost died inside hearing her say my name with her angelic voice. She tugged on my shirt, signaling that she wanted it off, but I pulled away.

"Ally, we can't do this to ourselves, as much as I would love to be with you, and kiss you every day, we both know it would hurt too much when I left" I whisper.

"You're right, I just- I still love you, and I don't want us to end" Ally said.

"I know, me too, but I want you to know, that I will always love you. Always. No matter what" I say with a sad smile. "But not as a friend" I smirk.

"Same here" Ally slightly laughs.

"I better leave before Trish comes" I say, getting up and walking to the door, reaching for the door knob.

"I love you" Ally whispers.

I turn and face Ally one more time. "I love you too"

SORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRY. This has been in the plot since the beginning of the story. Not many chapters left, 4 or 5 depending on what happens in their summer. Next story should be up by Christmas. XOXOXO