Disclaimer: I don't own the TMNT.

Song for this Fic: Iris as performed by the GooGooDolls

Leo and his brothers are 32 years old. Tony is 37.

**Warning** This fic contains something that may be disturbing to some. Please if you choose to read do not flame this fic but rather comment concerning the quality of the writing.**

Chapter 13: Hold My Heart

Tony's POV

Leo is shaking as he opens the letter, fingers trembling so badly he can barely hold it. his breath catches after he finishes unfolding the paper and begins reading.

My heart is torn into a thousand pieces. I'm scared for what my beloved will find there, I'm scared for what Splinter might have said.

I know Splinter didn't approve of Leo being gay, I knowit disturbed him.

I can only hope that whatever Splinter said in that letter won't shatter Leo's already wounded heart.

Leo drops onto the couch and chokes out a sob, covering his mouth with his hand and Raph and I share a nervous look before I walk forward and sit beside Leo.

"Hun?" I ask softly.

Leo is struggling to speak as he hands me the letter.

I look at it and frown. I can't read katakana or hiragana.

"Leo…I can't…Don? Can you read this?" I turn my attention towards Don who has stepped forward, "I can't read it."

Don nods stiffly before gingerly taking the letter from my hand and glancing down at it.

His eyes widen as he skims it, then he clears his throat before reading out loud.

"Leonardo,

There are no words to describe my sorrow for what I have put you through. In the end I hope that you have at least achieved what I sought to do. In truth I never wished to hurt you but only to give you a chance to prepare your heart and mind for the possibility of rejection from your brothers or even April and Casey. I know now that my methods would have never achieved what I sought, to toughen your skin. I only sought to prepare you for the worst.

Understand that I love you as only a father could and wish you only happiness. It is my greatest lament that I was not the father you needed but the father who made the wrong choice. I hope that someday you can forgive me for all that I have done. Antonio is a wonderful young man that I hope will continue to treat you well and stand up for you in the years to come. You have my blessings to be together.

My son, may peace go with you,

Your father, Splinter

I'm stunned as Don finishes reading and Leo chokes out another sob his shoulders shaking as he tries to regain control of himself.

Raph steps forward and takes the letter from Don who is standing still in shock. Raph's eyes skim the page as Mike leans over his shoulder.

I turn my attention on my beloved and pull him against me with a quiet sigh.

"Oh Leo," I whisper.

He hugs me and trembles, struggling to wrap his mind around what he's heard.

"I…I…," Leo chokes out, "I…hated him…."

I feel my own tears fall at Leo's words because I too held a bitter rage towards Splinter, I felt a disgust for the man.

But knowing this? Knowing that Splinter had simply tried to do what he thought would help Leo and had ruined the relationship the two had in the process is heart breaking.

Especially knowing how I felt about Splinter and how Leo came to feel about his father. We both harbored a grudge and bitter rage towards the old man.

Leo stumbles to his feet, hand clutching mine in an iron grip as he stands and drags me towards the door.

Raph, Don, and Mike step out of the way to let Leo and I pass.

I shoot a confused look towards my brothers-in-law.

"Splinter's grave," Raph mouths.

My eyes widen and then I nod before turning and moving with Leo.

I've never visited it, because to my knowledge Leo's never wanted to go more than a few times and he's never asked me to come along.

He knows how I felt about Splinter's role in the falling out of their relationship.

But now he wants me there and I will go.

Leo's POV

Tony follows me in silence lightly gripping my hand as I stumble towards the path that leads to my father's grave.

My mind is twisting with shock, shame, and unaltered joy.

My father never hated me…

I release Tony's hand as I drop to my knees before Splinters grave and we sit in silence as I let the tears fall and the catharsis takes its path through my heart.

I don't know how long we kneel there or even if Tony has said anything to me during that time but I lose my eyes and let memories of happier times with my father cascade across my consciousness and smile through the tears.

But when I finally open my eyes again Tony is still beside me I turn to look at him and he cups my cheek and tips my forehead against his.

We rest that way and I feel my heart tremble.

"I hated him," I breathe finally.

"He would've forgiven you Leo," he whispers softly.

And my heart shudders in my chest.

"I know," I whisper finally, "I know."

I hear the faint step of one of my brothers' and look up.

It's Don and he offers a slight smile as Tony and I look up.

"Hey," he greets softly.

"Hey," I reply after leaning against Tony and struggling with my twisting emotions.

How to I deal with this?

How to I set aside years of bitter anger and subdued hate towards my father?

He had never meant to hurt me or to push me away but he had made wrong choices and only sought my forgiveness and love in the end.

He wanted me to be happy…he wanted Tony and I to live our lives together.

If only he were still alive to see the way our family has grown.

Don squats beside Tony and I then I realize he's said my name twice.

"Leo…none of us blame you for anything you felt towards Splinter…heck…I…I even hated him for a while after we found out," Don whispers.

"I just…after everything I thought and felt now…I don't know what to think," I reply, rubbing the back of my neck and sighing.

I do know that we need to go home, to rebuild our lives and suddenly I feel a determination to make my family safe again.

"Don, do you know who destroyed our home?" I ask softly.

Tony chuckles at my change of subject and then as if he had been following my train of thought he offers something.

"You want to do something in his honor?" Tony asks softly.

I nod before making eye contact with Don. He cocks his head and frowns slightly before replying.

"No, but April's been doing some digging since she got back…she might know something by now," he replies.

"When we find a new home I want to have the Dojo be in his memory," I whisper.

Tony nods and then slowly stands, brushing the pieces of grass from his clothes before reaching down to take my hand and help me up.

As we walk together back to the house Don and I discuss a few options for relocating our home.

There are a few options that can be quickly fixed up but they are still close enough to the old lair that it would be dangerous for us to try and rebuild there since the burning ruin where our former home was will be inspected by the people of the city and might have structural issues being that close.

Don pauses and then turns to Tony.

"There is an old water treatment plant in central park that has been abandoned for years with access to the sewer tunnels or rather water channels into the tunnels. Do you think the City would allow you to buy it if you were willing to of course," Don offers as Tony raises an eyebrow with a humored look.

Tony nods thoughtfully.

Depending on the pricing I should be able to afford it as well as cleaning it up and all the renovations. I would assume they'd want to get rid of it…" he replies, "I'll do some digging when we get back to the house and make some calls."

As we enter the house the rest of the family greets us and we all spend some time talking and Mike brings up some rather humorous memories as Tony makes some calls to the City about the old water treatment plant.

After about an hour Tony walks back into the group and pulls Meir and Ellie aside. The trio chat quietly for a minute before returning to the rest of us.

The Plant is ours.

I have a feeling it was more than Tony was wanting to spend on it. I'll talk to him later though.

I pick up the phone and dial April, she seems shocked by my phone call, well more startled really.

I walk out to the porch while I talk to her.

"April…there is so much to tell you….just…for one….Splinter he…he left me a letter of apology…," I'm rambling by the end and April is laughing softly.

Then she says something that makes me frown.

Leo, I know who attacked the Lair and there is something else…something you need to know.

"You know for sure it was an attack? But who?" I'm struggling with the questions running through my mind, "What do I need to know?"

April sighs on the other line.

You remember when Bishop had you last year?

"Yeah," I whisper cautiously, suddenly feeling a flicker of concern for my family.

All I'll say for now is that Bishop and Karai have been working together for the last year. They are the ones who attacked you. Karai's declared open war…she broke the truce.

My heart freezes in my chest.

"No," I breathe.

Let the girls, the kids, and Tony if he'll agree to it, stay back at the farmhouse until everything is figured out here. But I need to tell you something in person. Leo you guys need to get here and be ready. Karai, who knows what she'll do next.

I straighten up, fingers gripping the phone as my mind twists with worry.

"Ok…we'll meet up at your place by tomorrow night," I reply before hanging up.

Then I glance inside and suck in a breath.

How do I break the news to my family that war with the Foot clan is hovering on the horizon?

How do I face the chance of death for all of us?

I guess the same way I ever have.

With a love for my family.

A/N: Sorry for the delay in updates guys! GAHH! RL has been crazy, with work, the funeral, and finals. I'll be on vacation until the 25th but I'm going to try and update again on Saturday the 18th before we head out. But no promises I have a 10 page paper to finish up.