ALICE: BLOODY WONDERLAND
CHAPTER NINE: I Hear the Music of A Thousand Screams and It Sounds Like A Symphony to Me.
We'd all heard before of the beast, that dreadful thing that haunted us all on the island. I knew more of it than any other; I would've liked to think, because of my dreams. Maybe Charisma was the beast; maybe we each had our own personal beast that tormented our daily lives and gave us nightmares at bed time. How was one to know?
However, when the threat of the beast was very imminent and so close, we just couldn't take it anymore. All I remember is everyone running, everyone screaming and crying as the twins told their tale and the monster broke free from the swaying trees of the forest. And then, like magic, I started my journey. Not a physical journey, no, but one where I stayed entirely in one place for the entirety of it, and simply had revelations of the mind and soul and heart. There were certain perplexities I found in my hallucinations. The thing I saw when I started, for instance. The only real-world memory I had at the time to hold on to was running, the cutting of the branches as I ran, and the place I ran to; the safe haven that was the meadow. Simon wasn't there, but the flowers were. They offered me comfort in between bouts of euphoria, and drugged me with their strange, cloying scent. They were blurry when I saw them, and often sideways or upside-down…but at least they were there.
When I woke for the first time, it was in a dream. My house was burning, and I was trapped in my bedroom with the tipped candle so mocking me that it hurt. Charisma was not to be seen or heard, but I could feel her presence; an awful taunt.
I began to scratch vainly at the door. It didn't feel like a dream to me.
"HELP!" I screamed, "PLEASE, SOMEONE HELP ME! THERE'S A FIRE! FIRE!"
But nobody came, there was only silence and the rumble of the flames. They cracked and growled for my flesh. Then, suddenly, one roared louder than the others and I snapped out of the fever-dream. I sat upright, clutching my chest and trying to see the world in a way that made sense and could be told as rational. But there was nothing. I could only make out the vague outline of a reflection of myself as I fell back under the flower's spell.
This time around, I was underwater and could not breathe. I could feel the edges of the wash tub with my hands and feet, graze their ridged surface, and I could see the light filtering above me, blocked partially by the shadow of something I deemed sinister. However, I couldn't go up. I struggled for freedom, gasped in the water, but a hand was holding me down. Then, just like before, a clap of thunder from the outside world brought me back to a bleak, waning reality in which everything was fleeting and nothing was actually there for me to hold onto. One time, I heard voices, but they were quickly drowned out by the pounding of my own head.
I don't know how many times, or for how long, this continued. It felt like forever that I lived in this detached world of mine, alone and wishing for company; when I got it, the company was always Charisma and her too-wide smile, whispering in my ear of things I should do in the future, things that would happen. I tried to ignore her…I tried so hard…but there was one thing that stuck with me as I gradually came to for the last time, loosely gripping the dry grass below for support.
"Hide."
So I did. I ran into the bushes at the edge of the meadow and almost stomped right on top of Simon, who was already there. I swore under my breath for being so clumsy as I crashed to the ground. Then, I re-thought it. Oops. It wasn't nice to swear…Roger must've been rubbing off on me.
"Are you alright?" Simon whispered, "It's a good thing you woke up just now; I was about to go fetch you."
"I'm…fine. I think. What happened?" I asked curiously.
"I think you were seizing or something." Simon said in frustration, "You were all twitchy and were muttering about things to yourself."
"Oh." I whispered. That had surely never happened before. However, I kept this to myself. No need to worry my brother. "Why are we hiding?" I briskly changed the subject, for lack of anything better to say. Also, I was genuinely curious.
"The hunters." Simon said grimly.
"What?" I frowned.
"They formed their own group and probably would do some pretty awful things to us both if they saw us here, Alice." Simon explained quickly, filling me in. This must've been after I fled the scene, because this was also a revelation to me. "Jack hates me, and we both know…you know…"
"Yeah." I cut him off, trying to spare him of the discomfort. "That's okay."
My head was pounding as I peered up and out of the shrubbery with Simon, Just in time to see a group of familiar, masked faces parade through the other side, trampling over a few of the flowers and unleashing a sickly fog in their pursuit of some pink creature. They all covered their faces in wicked paint, like some death carnival. I covered my mouth with my hands to prevent myself from screaming, and quite possibly losing my lunch. The whole scene shook, as if its base was being vibrated. A deep, throing hum sounded bass in my ears. This all felt like another dream. A very real one, but distorted nonetheless. There was blood.
And a scream; I had to double check to make sure it wasn't mine. Before my very eyes, the boys in the meadow were enveloped in a red and black haze, their smiles curled unnaturally and their laughing cracked like glass. Then, there was that terrible wailing that perforated it all and the scent that still clung. I began to hyperventilate loudly. I turned to Simon in a wide-eyed trance, expecting to find solace in my brother…but he had changed too.
He tried to talk to me, I could tell, he tried to calm me down. He may have even been genuinely worried, but I couldn't tell at the moment. My head was spinning so fast I couldn't tell if anything was real. My heart threatened to explode out of my chest. What was wrong with me?!
"Just…hold…on…" I heard Simon whisper through the pain, "Alice…stay with me…"
That's the last thing I heard before I lost my mind and my consciousness.
…..
"Hey!" A strained muttering came through, at last. I moaned through parted lips. I felt a hand clamp over my mouth, and shot up. I was in the middle of the meadow, surrounded by the blood from some unknown origin. There was some rancid stink; it stung my nose. "Thank God you're awake. Alice, you have to get out of here."
"Hmph?!" I struggled against the hand by my mouth. When I looked for its owner, I was found with only Roger, giving me a stern look through his strangely colored eyes; they were like blood and mud mixed together in a strange cocktail. I calmed myself. He wouldn't hurt me, would he?
Would he?
"Meet up with Simon in the forest." Roger ordered sternly, "He left when he saw the blood. He really wanted to stay, honestly, he did. Maurice didn't know you were here."
I pushed his hand away, groaning with the effort when he resisted. He wouldn't let me go.
"Stop, Alice!" Roger whispered through his teeth, "Dammit, Jack will hear you! He's probably close by here, you know!"
"I don't care; let me go, let me go!" I shrieked, kicking and lashing out wildly, "Don't touch me! Get away!" Suddenly, I felt as if it was my first day here. Everything I had learned, everything I knew, it all had been stripped away. Roger was made mysterious and dangerous; especially the paint that he'd put on his face and torso. It curved up on his lips, making him look like the joker, like he was smiling even as he looked at me in astonishment. Roger let go.
"What's wrong with you?" He said.
"I…I don't know…" I murmured, gripping my head. It was still pounding. I had to go find Simon, I reminded myself. I painstakingly pushed myself to my feet and wobbled away, not making it two feet from the place I had been laying before crumpling to my knees again. Gripping the grass for support, I stared in wonder at a small, orange flower, smashed into the dust. Its scent wrapped around me, granting me, if for just one moment, a satisfactory peace and reign on reality.
"…Roger." I finally asked, even though I'd been wondering it for a while now, in the back of my mind. "Why are you here?"
"I couldn't just leave you here." He scoffed, "Anyone would've done the same thing."
"What are your motivations though?" I tried to explain what I thought, now that my head was cleared, "You have to have some…you told me so yourself, that you never do something that won't benefit you."
"…"
When he didn't answer, I scooped up the water and tucked it away in the ribbon of my dress, right at my waist. I breathed in deep and started in the woods, dragging my feet and abandoning all stealth. I didn't need his help, I told myself, he would just hurt me in the end; just like he would with Maurice…and probably with countless others too.
"Simon!" I weakly called, "Simon!" Above me, the sky cracked with thunder and the first few drops of rain began to fall. I looked up with dull eyes, measuring the clouds in a gaze. If there was any wisdom there, I couldn't see it. Tiredly, I started forward again. "Simon!"
I don't know how long this went on. It seemed as if time had no influence over my life anymore, and it made no difference to me whether or not it passed. It got darker, and the rain poured buckets over my head and thin frame. I shivered and coughed as I made my slow progress up the mountain. Maybe he was there.
By the time I got there, it was storming so hard I could barely see my hand in front of me. The rain thundered in my ears, running into the bursts of lightening.
"Simon!" I screamed into the dark. There was no response. Something fluttered in front of me. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. I was drenched, I was so freezing cold that I felt as if my bones and blood had frozen solid, I was alone, and there was absolutely no way I could make it anywhere on my own. I began to sob on my hands and knees, though I didn't know why. Something broke out suddenly from the storm, bringing me back to myself, back to everything. It was a scream, not artificial like from before, but real; terrified.
It was Simon's…but it was so far away…
"SIMON!" I cried, "SIMON! I'M UP HERE! WHERE ARE YOU?! SIMON!"
I continued to cry like that until the flower's scent breached my nose once more and I blacked out. I was starting to wonder how many times I'd have to put up with this.
…
"There's no beast!" Ralph insisted, "that's absolutely ridiculous, Jack! Stop going around scaring everybody!"
Jack glared at Ralph with subdued fury. I shuddered, but remained seated. Nothing seemed to be going wrong at the moment, there was no threat here. I was safe on the island, I had to remind myself, and Jack was just lying. How could there be a beast? There was no beast…it was a lie.
"There was one, I saw her." Jack scoffed softly. Ralph whipped to face him.
"What?" He scathingly asked in dismay, "Are you trying to say this is all Alice's fault?!"
"No!" Jack shouted, standing up, "I'm just saying it's a possibility! I saw a girl in the woods the other night! She was wearing almost the same dress Alice wears!"
"That's so stupid!" Maurice interjected.
"Hm." Roger sighed. I looked up at the platform in awe. I was the subject of one of their conversations, and it didn't matter what the topic was, all that mattered was that it was happening. Nobody ever talked about me. I was too quiet.
"I don't mind if people think I'm the beast." I piped up, "I'm not one though."
Ralph and Simon stared at me incredulously, where Jack just smirked in what I assumed was satisfaction. Maurice gripped my shoulder comfortingly.
"I don't think you're any kind of beast." He smiled.
"Thanks." I frowned. Now that I knew what he thought of me, I didn't know if I could take our relationship the same anymore.
"There's more to it than that." Ralph stated adamantly, "There's absolutely no beast. This meeting is over."
….
I woke up again, still on the mountain, the following morning. My flower had been waterlogged, and smothered to pulp. I heaved myself up, trying to regain my facilities.
What had happened?
I went back to the beach as quick as I could; taking advantage of the new silence that had spread throughout the forest. It was unsettling. A few hours ago, the woods had been crawling with activity and rain. But now, the ground felt as if it was as dry as if the rain had never fallen. I broke out of the jungle with relief. Something had been chasing me in there, I was sure of it.
Along the stretch of sand, I picked out the camp. I strode over, picking up the skirt of my dress as not to tear it or ruin it any more than it already had been. Four boys looked down at me from the platform as I approached, and I waved. They looked…shocked.
"Alice!" Ralph shouted, louder and angrier than I'd ever heard him, "Where the hell have you been?"
"What do you mean?" I gasped, halting in front of them, skidding up sand with my quick stop.
"You've been unaccounted for three days now."
"Oh." I muttered. Had it really been that long?
"Yes, we were all wondering-"
"-where you'd gone off to." Samneric, the twins, said. I still marveled at them. I frowned.
"Where's Simon?" I asked. It was what I'd been worried over when I first blacked out anyway. I might as well carry my purpose out to its full end, find the conclusion.
Ralph and Piggy exchanged a horrified look. Samneric retreated into the woods, murmuring something about getting more firewood.
"What?" I wondered.
"Well…uh…" Piggy stammered, "you…uh…see…you see, we…we saw it when it happened, but we really don't know what to say….Alice…"
"What?!" I demanded, suddenly in a panic, "What happened?"
"Alice," Ralph gently said, "Simon is dead. Roger killed him."
My whole world just seems to be crumbling away.