ALICE: BLOODY WONDERLAND
CHAPTER TEN: THE LOOKING GLASS

My first instinct was to run, so I did. At first, I didn't know where I was going or how far I'd have to run on my burning legs to get there. But, it didn't matter. I was struck-through with sorrow to the very core. I was made nothing more than a hollow shell of a person, drifting through this stupid place with reckless abandon. There was no point in worrying about injuries or bruises or…

…..

"Momma!" A little girl wailed, "Momma, momma!"

"What, sweetie?" an aged, but still young-looking woman crooned. In her arms, she held the smallest child; a little baby boy, just born not two days ago. The little girl at her thigh stood on tippy-toes to get a good look. "You're gonna wake tommy up."

"Can't I see him, momma?" The girl persisted, "Please, momma, please?"

"Okay, but be careful." The cautious mother admitted. She sat both of them down, and carefully handed the small child to the girl on the couch. Her face lit up with excitement; a verve so strong that it couldn't be equaled, a thrill of life in her hands. In the tiny, American living room, another girl, looking about the same age as the one holding the baby, played grudgingly with blocks on the carpet. She remained silent. Meanwhile, the girl on the couch re-adjusted herself in an attempt to get a little more comfortable. She stared, wide-eyed, at the sleeping child.

"He's so tiny." She whispered, brushing his little tuft of hair out of the way. "He's so beautiful."

…

As I ran, I came to conclusions I'd pushed out of my mind before; things that I'd purposely driven from my conscious since we first crashed. One of the major themes was my own death. I had to come to terms with that now: that I was on borrowed time. I had always been on borrowed time. Order here was disintegrating, things were falling apart, and I couldn't rely on the boys any more for my protection. That wasn't their responsibility. After all, I might as well get my life over with while I still was in the know.

As I figured it, I had about two weeks, tops, to live.

….

The girl was worried. Little Tommy was sick, stricken ill with a fever. Her aunt would be here in a week with the proper medicine from England to cure him, but everyone fretted about the worst. Tommy just didn't have that much time to wait.

"Tommy's going to die, and then we'll be all alone again." The other sister often growled betwixt the passing night hours, "Just me and you, alone."

"He won't die." The first sister grumbled. Tommy couldn't die. Not when he was so young. It wasn't fair.

"Yeah?" The other jeered, "And what good is a word gonna do? Just because everyone listens to you doesn't mean death will too. If you want him to live, you better do something about it."

"…"

But what was there to do?

….

It was no matter to me whether it was any longer than that, or any less than I thought I had. After all, what was my time but its inglorious passing by? I was nothing anymore, and my life meant nothing too. I had no one waiting for me back home; my aunt was most likely dead, my parents didn't want me, and my sister had always wanted me dead anyway. Perhaps I had just been evading my fate all along. Perhaps, inside, I was already dead.

The fact of the matter was, I just didn't care anymore.

Eventually, I even came to the meadow, where a bloody clearing and a smiling pig's head on a stick were the only things that greeted me. There was no more Simon anymore. Not anymore.

Nothing was anymore.

…..

That evening, when the parents and the guests of the house were all having dinner, the little girl stood atop the loo and brushed out all of the drug cabinet. She sifted through the bottles, picking out certain pills and potions, and smashed them together to create a medical cocktail of her own.

Carefully, as to not disturb those waiting down in the dining loft below the rail of the second floor, she tiptoed back to her Brother Tommy's room and leaned over the crib. She had to stand on top of the rocking chair to reach him. As her hands urged the powder to his lips, he moaned in his sleep and stirred, cheeks blushed red with the fever. The doctor from down the street had come in and set up an IV drip and a heart monitor. However, because of the storm outside, he could never stay long. In addition to that, all his medicines were being used on the patients with Tuberculosis and typhus fever from the war. Daddy was stationed in the navy, in a place far away from here; a place called Pearl Harbor. It had been bombed back in the second war, and it served as a communications base now….whatever that was.

Urgently, the girl pried open Tommy's mouth and dumped the concoction into his throat. Shaking from the nervousness, she half stepped, half fell, off the rocking chair, and took her leave into the brightened hall way.

…..

Something snapped in front of me. I looked up slowly, taking in what I thought I saw through bleary eyes.

"Charisma." I stated flatly, weakly. There was nothing else to say. She smiled at me and kneeled, toying with the head jammed on the stick. After a few moments of this, she plucked it up and placed it on her own head like a grisly mask, covering her smile with its toothy, crooked one.

"Why, hullo there, Alice!" She greeted cheerily, playing with the sunlight and faking a British accent; just to bother me, I thought. "It's jolly good to see you here today! How are you?"

"How, or what?" I darkly muttered, muffled by the fabric of my dress pressed up to my lips. I was crouching, huddled on the ground. The sobs had ceased long ago; I had no more tears left.

"A little bit of both I suppose." Charisma chided back, laying on her belly now and resting her chin…or rather, the hog's….on the back of her hands, swinging her legs to and fro.

"Then…I am nothing anymore."

"Nothing?!" Charisma exclaimed in surprise. Her voice echoed around in my head and in the pig skull as she stood up. It seemed an almost triumphant gesture. "Are you sure?"

"How can I not be?" I accused.

"Well then, that's good!"

….

Tommy McClellan died the following morning. He died without a middle name.

A certain younger sister, all too eager, quickly spread the news of what she'd seen through the crack in the boy's door the previous evening. She didn't want it to be this way. She didn't want her sister gone to a different country. She wanted her sister dead.

But for now, this would have to do.

When the aunt of the sisters arrived in America, she left with no less medicine. Instead, she took the older sister and her things, with a promise to teach her how to return the life she had taken.

It was an accident, she had calmed on the plane, and no one is to blame.

The girl did not buy it. And, of course, over time she forgot.

…

"Charisma, just go away." I sniffed, burrowing deeper into my gown. There was no hiding from my mind though. One could not run away from figments of their imagination.

"I'm afraid I have to." She sighed regretfully. I heard the soft sound of the pig's flesh being set back on the stick, the sliding, sickening noise it made. "I can't stay forever. That's just how it works."

"Good riddens." I choked. Memories were bubbling up and frothing around in my mind. Just her cold, condescending coo was enough of a reminder. The touch of malice she added brought back better times…or were they? I wasn't quite sure anymore.

"But, I'll be back one day, Alice." She crooned, already fading, "And when I come back, don't expect me to leave so easily."

And with that last sentence hanging eerily in the jungle air, stiff and unbending, she left me as well. It's just as good. I never wanted her company anyway.

…..

"Oh, dear!" The younger sister had said to the older before she departed with the aunt; while the elder was still waiting, all bundled up with her things clutched in her lap, for news of their plane's arrival. The expression on the younger's face was smug, like an alley cat that'd just received a plump mouse for dinner. "What will I ever do without you?" she mocked, "There is truly no place for me in this world without my dear sister, Alice! I hope we can stay in touch, maybe meet again sooner or later. I'd simply love that."

The older sister said nothing.

…

Alice Persi McClellan, I kept telling myself, that will always be yours. But, no matter how many times after Charisma had left that I tried to convince myself of that, I failed. I didn't deserve a name. I didn't deserve my life. If only I could have given it up for another. I would have done that in a heartbeat. Anything was more desirable than this.

Heavy in the heart, I added Simon to the list of brothers I'd killed.

…..

Hey there! I'm updating :P

Anyway, thanks for your continued support! I can't believe that people have started reading this! I'm so excited that I finally started writing for it again too, because I really love Alice's character. I also want to apologize for the lack of Island boys in this chapter…there will be more in the future, I promise! Especially…IN THE IMMEDIATE FUTURE! DUNDUNDUN~~!

I also want to apologize for any confusion on this chapter's content…It is a little hard to follow, I know! If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Thanks to all my reviewers, you make it possible for me to keep my drive to the max and also to do…

REVIEW RESPONSE TIME! (What a Segway, right?)

FreedomWriter~~

Thanks for your review! I'm glad you like it! And, as asked, I updated quickly! Also, I'm not gold, but I will try to stay gold…at least, in the heart :D

Cocomelonkatzelada~~

Thanks for your review/continued support as well! And I can't believe you actually changed your username XD That's awesome! Also, I updated! AHAHAHA, I'M SO ON TOP OF THANGS!

Claire~~

Thanks for your review~ I'm glad you like Alice's character. I was afraid she would be received as SUPER MARY SUE and all…I really tried to work hard at making her as unique as possible, even making her a little mysterious at times, having fun with her past, extreme brainstorming! Also, I hope I can finish this too! So many fictions and fanfictions and projects in general I've left undone…I really want to finish this one! Hopefully I can do it!

So, with review responses out of the way, a brief announcement on different terms. To anyone who read Hale Protocol or Apocalyptica, I've started the sequel to the former on deviantart in graphic novel form. I WILL EVENTUALLY POST IT IN WRITTEN FORM HERE, however, I want to get some more things off my plate on this site before I do!

THANKS FOR READING, pls review…I'LL WRITE YOU SOON!