It's Murder
Chapter 4
x~x
BPOV
To be honest, Edward has always confused me. His reputation preceded him so I knew when he was partnered with me that he had slept with all his previous female partners within days of meeting them. I knew his reasoning behind it, and somewhat agreed, but with me, he never offered. He didn't know at first about Riley, so what stopped him?
He'd made just that one weak, half hearted attempt to invite me out for a drink, so I had never been convinced he even intended following through and adding my notch to his bedpost.
Things had been at the best point ever with Riley that week; so I thought. He was talking about changes and moving forward and I guess I read things into his words that he didn't mean to imply. I really felt he was going to propose, so there was no way I would have slept with Edward anyway.
In truth, I was never put to the test.
He never asked.
Fidelity was not considered worth trying according to the other guys in the squad; by the time Edward came along. They were all jaded and divorced and some were bitter about ever having remained faithful to wives who had been seeing someone else; someone who had time for them, behind their backs. Nobody would have judged me harshly had I let Edward have his one night. It was what women did nowadays.
To save face, I started telling the many people who asked me if we'd 'done the deed yet' that it would never happen because Edward and I had mutually agreed it wasn't a good idea for us and we'd drawn that imaginary line in the imaginary sand.
We'd never actually talked about it at all.
Of course I told myself the reason he hadn't offered was because he respected me, and maybe once he knew about Riley he didn't want to rock the boat and cause a problem between us, even though he had no clue if I was the monogamous type or not. But deep down, I always suspected it was because he didn't think I was up to his standard.
His other partners on the force when he worked in DV or Major Crimes, had been all quite similar in looks. I'd seen them around the building at times. Edward had always been a guy you had to notice, even if you only looked at him when he didn't know.
He had managed to not only sleep with them, just the once rumour had it, but remain friends. And he had never let it interfere with their working relationship. In fact, the story went he did it to avoid complications by getting sex out of the way. Like it was inevitable every female partner he ever had just could not function until he bedded them. Who knows, maybe it had been true.
I'd looked at the various women, and wondered if they'd been mass produced in a factory somewhere.
Think of Barbie, original body shape before the toy company went all PC, and make the hair always long and blonde and you have a prototype for those women. They all had impressive racks, and somewhat vacant expressions, though maybe that is something I invented. It may not be true. I wanted them to be dumb blondes so maybe I tweaked them a little.
I knew I was not in their league, and my rack was very average, thus a complete fail to a man who liked enormous boobs, yet last night I heard him as he kissed my breasts and conversed with them.
"Perfect. Such a perfect fit. It's like you girls were made just for my hands."
That did not compute.
Maybe he adapted his seduction phrases to suit each woman he was playing with. Maybe it was all he could think of to say to my clearly smaller than he was used to, rack. I mean, it was hardly going to work if he raved on about how big they were when they clearly were not that big at all.
So he evolved and adapted and pretended they were good enough.
It kept me grounded, knowing I had not even appeared on his radar for three long years. He may have been getting carried away but foremost in my mind remained the knowledge he had possibly worked his way through every well endowed blonde in Boston, and now he was moving on to what was left. He'd had his idea of 'the best' now all that was left was 'the rest'.
I had noticed a few months ago, he started dating brunettes. Sometimes we would be in a bar having a drink together and my date would arrive, and Edward would say Goodnight grumpily and go pull right in front of us. He seemed to want to leave before we did. Just to prove he was all that and could have any woman he wanted, no doubt. Sometimes it felt like he wanted to have a pissing contest with me.
I had no problem finding willing men to scratch my itch, well lookey here, neither did he.
Jessica had just been the last in a long line of non-blonde girls he was hooking up with. But still, she had the Barbie Doll body and great rack. She was not such a great departure from his usual type.
Nobody would ever compare me to a Barbie.
Maybe Skipper, the cute little sister.
It hurt to think our friendship, that I truly considered completely real and unforced, was not standing in his way now he had decided I was acceptable to use for sex. I knew what he wanted, I wasn't stupid. At that one point when I was lost in his kiss, he'd almost got it last night.
He had said he wanted a change. Did he intend transferring to another unit? Was this seduction a last farewell? Was he pushing to sleep with me just so he could keep up his rep for screwing all his partners?
I tried to push it all away, into the back of my mind as we started work this morning.
We went to the hospital and checked on Emily. She was undamaged by her close call and seemed to have no sign of any brain damage, so it must have been mere minutes that she had been not breathing. Edward had found her soon enough to keep her brain intact.
The tox screen revealed her Mom must have drugged her to keep her quiet and hidden, which was why she had slept for the whole day and night. Jane must have thought she could handle whoever had come to her house. She must have needed Emily out of the way and silent, and she had improvised and done her best.
We'd stopped off at a toy store and stocked up with a doll and several toys and babyish games and took them to her.
She was in a small private room, off the Children's Ward, in a large metal crib. She recognized us and stood up excitedly as we approached, holding her arms out to Edward. All the girls loved Edward, no matter what age they were.
"Hi Wedward," she said excitedly.
He lifted her from the bed and bounced her in the air then sat down and put her on his lap.
She patted his face and laughed at him. I offered her the toys and she became completely absorbed with them as she picked up each new one then discarded it to go on to the next.
Finally she decided she liked the doll, and cuddled it to her little chest.
"Where's Jakey?" she asked.
"Jakey is safe. He ate lots of food after we found him," Edward replied. I noticed he didn't make her any promises about getting her dog back to her. Maybe whoever stepped in to parent her now would not want to keep the dog.
"Oh. Jakey kept me warm," she stated.
"Why did Mommy hide you, Emily?" he asked.
"Shh, Don't make any noise or the bad lady will hurt you and Jakey and you don't want that."
Edward's eyes met mine.
Bad lady?
She shook her head as she spoke. "Mommy gave me some yucky candy and hid us under the blanket. She said we could pretend it was a fairy Princess castle not a kennel. She said don't come out even if someone calls me cos she will be back soon and then we would have ice cream. I had to hold Jakey tight cos he wanted to go see the lady. I spitted out some of the candy and he ate it! Then he went to sleep and I went to sleep."
"Who was the bad lady, Emily?" Edward asked her. "Did you know her?"
The child nodded.
"Lauren. Lauren is the bad lady. She doesn't like Jakey or Memily."
"Lauren is Daddy's new wife," Edward reminded me.
We said goodbye to Emily and requested her police guard be kept on, and Edward told him to make very sure he didn't let Daddy or Lauren anywhere near the child. Babies and children had been murdered in hospitals before, particularly by their parents or stepparents, who were assumed to be safe and not threatening to the child's life.
Edward drove us to the father's house in a temper he rarely showed. It was one thing that the man had no interest in his own daughter but another that he had married a woman willing to kill to keep him from his first family.
Lauren knew the jig was up the moment she opened the door and saw Edward's expression.
"We have a witness that you went to Jane's house yesterday and threatened her life and the life of her daughter," he improvised. She frowned ,clearly wondering where she had slipped up and missed spotting this witness.
"You don't understand."
"Was your husband threatening to go back to Jane and Emily?" he asked.
"Never. He was well shot of them."
"Then why?"
"He refused to consider letting me have a baby of my own. He said if I wanted a kid that bad I could have the one he made with her. And she told me that was never going to happen. I told her I was coming to get Emily and the bitch hid her somewhere. Across the road in that other nosy bitch's house, I bet. I just got so mad when Jane took me up to Emily's bedroom and the brat wasn't there..."
"You tied Jane up and hung her?" I said in surprise. We had not considered this crime could have been done by a woman. I looked at her arms. She was fit and obviously worked out and kept in shape but still. Jane would have fought and kicked out, surely.
"I have to caution you," Edward began. Lauren stood there, mute now, and refused to speak further so we arrested her and took her in.
The coroner's report was waiting and I read it through.
Jane had been knocked unconscious by a blow with a blunt implement to the back of her head. And her feet had been taped together, then clearly Lauren had had second thoughts and had removed the tape after she finished the job, maybe to make us wonder if Jane had set up a whole death by suicide to look like murder. And murder it was unless wearing a coil of rope was the latest fashion statement. This had been pre planned long before Lauren walked inside Jane's house.
Edward had another interview with Lauren and came out with a complete confession. She swore her husband had no idea what she had done. She'd parked her car along the road that ran parallel to Jane's street and ran through the sand dunes, thus nobody in the street saw her arrival.
The last thing she said was how much she regretted not finding Emily, leaving us to wonder if she meant so she could have taken the child and raised her as her own, or...not.
x~X~x
I hate people.
Give me a dog any day.
"Emily is going to be adopted by Jane's sister and her husband, in California," Edward said when he finished talking to the local boys."Even if her father had no part in any of this, he still doesn't want to parent her."
"What's going to happen to Jakey?" I checked.
"I guess he will be put in a shelter. Someone will adopt him, Bella."
"No," I replied, shaking my head. "I'm not risking him ending up in a kill shelter. I want to keep him myself."
"Seriously? You want a dog in that pretty new apartment of yours? He will make puddles on the floor, or even worse."
I shrugged.
"Alice has to learn how to house train Tom one day, she may as well learn how with Jakey."
Edward went off and got everything in writing then when it was time to go home that afternoon, he sent me to sit in his car while he tied up one last loose end.
I was sitting there, waiting, when he finally appeared and handed the puppy through the open window to me.
"It's yours. The aunt has dogs of her own already and thinks a new child is enough to handle. They are happy someone wants him."
Dogs live in the moment. New owners quickly overcome any memories of the last owners, and he was bonded to my side like glue by the time we got home. Edward insisted on carrying him inside, leaving my hands free for 'keys, etc.' Whatever etc was. I soon found out.
I unlocked the door and came face to face with my second favourite Cullen, though in reality, I loved Emmett just as much as I loved this tall, crazy blonde.
"Jasper," I squealed, throwing my arms around his neck.
"Bella, Baby. It's so good to see you. I love your new home. The furniture is a little gay for my taste but whatever. This place is a tiny bit bigger than the last apartment."
Alice stepped forward and I noted her perfect hair was a little mussed, and her lips were definitely looking a little red and swollen. Rather like mine had been after last night in the tent.
"Oh really," I said as it all clicked into place. "I see you two have met, then."
x~X~x
Alice seemed afraid I was angry with her. She took my hand and waved the guys on so Edward and his brother went into the sitting room ahead.
"I can explain. Wait, I can't explain. Honestly, when Edward said he had invited his brother to come keep me company, I just felt sad that he was so pretty and I was so over men.
We just talked, and he played with Tom and helped me bathe him last night before bed, and all I expected to happen was a friendly evening chatting in front of the fireplace.
Then my arm accidentally brushed against his when I leaned to pour more wine and it was like static or something.
Bella, I couldn't help myself. I don't think he had any plans before that moment, either.
We forgot the wine, and kissed and touched and I swear we did not defile your sofa."
"You took it to the bedroom? Good," I huffed.
Like it's not frustrating enough doing this whole pathetic celibacy thing; now I will have the image in my head of this pair going at it like rabbits all night.
"Alice, please be careful. Don't rebound with him. I love you and I love Jasper but if this doesn't turn out well, I'm going to be caught in the middle. You have been without sex and companionship for a long time now. Don't mistake this for something it's not. Is he on the same page as you or is this just a holiday shag for him?"
She smiled.
"I think by now I can tell when a man is truly into me. I know, I was wrong about James, but you were wrong about Riley, don't forget."
How could I?
"This is different. It's hard to explain how. With James, there was always something not quite right, not quite real. I did fear at times he was just staying for as long as the good times lasted and he didn't really ever intend marrying me.
Like when we got engaged.
He could sense I was getting impatient and fed up with our lack of progress and he seemed to be weighing up if it was worth taking us to the next level or not. I was honestly confused about whether he would propose or leave.
Even as he slid that ring on my finger, it felt like a bribe to pay for a few more months.
I could tell he wasn't nearly as keen to get married as I was, and I think the pregnancy was just the last straw. He didn't want to be a husband and father; and now he had an excuse to just go.
Jasper feels different. He seems to want to stay, already. He loves Tom, and I think he loves me, Bella. I know it's been far too quick, but maybe there is such a thing as love at first sight."
"Please don't take any chances and get pregnant again," I begged.
"I won't. You know why? Because I would not do that to Jasper. I want him, not his child. Not yet. I know I was happy when I conceived Tom, but I think it was because I knew James would not stay in the long run, and I wanted a little piece of him to keep for myself.
With Jasper, I truly just want to be with him."
"Just don't get carried away. Keep a little detached until you know for sure," I advised.
"Not everyone lets one failed relationship change them and ruin their whole life," she said softly. "Riley still controls you, like he always did, but now he's doing it from miles away. You are letting him stop you from moving on."
"I don't even care about Riley now, and I have moved on. I've met other guys and dated. I just haven't met anyone worthwhile taking a chance on," I huffed. God, she thought she knew everything. Riley was nothing to me now. He chose to leave, and to never come back. I wasn't waiting for him. I wasn't the deluded one here.
I learned from my mistakes.
Love or whatever I'd thought Riley and I shared was an illusion. He'd never objected when I'd started talking about us moving in together, even if it never actually happened. I had understood, he'd had a lot on his mind and he wasn't ready to share his space with anyone else quite yet but he had assured me it would happen, in time.
And I always knew he put the job first so why I had been shocked that he chose to stay undercover? I should have expected it before anyone else.
Anyway, no harm done. He has his new life; I have mine. I have my amazing apartment. You can't have everything, even if Alice thinks she can.
This will all end in tears and I just hope she means what she says and she won't come out of it when it ends with another baby.
Imagine how awkward it would be.
Esme would be wanting to see her grandbaby no matter how bitter the end splitting up was, and Alice would probably not want anything to do with any of the Cullen's at all, so I'd be the one taking Jasper Jr back and forth between them. And Edward would either want to take over and do that instead, or else want us both to stay the Hell out of it completely, and Esme would be appealing to me to help, and he'd be stomping about threatening to transfer out if I tried to help her.
Fuck, who thought it would be a good idea to ever introduce this pair? Edward had told me about how fucked up Maria and Jas had been and I'd seen glimpses of it for myself when we visited the family.
Just more proof nobody but Carlisle and Esme had what it took and got it right. And don't bother telling me they are 'soul mates' so it all came easily to them. They both worked their arses off to keep one another happy and to hold on to what they had. If either of them had gotten lazy and given up trying somewhere along the way, tell me they wouldn't be like everyone else's parents by now? Divorced, bitter, 'moving on' with substitutes, and wondering how it all turned to shit.
Come on; one happy forever couple, out of all the people we know?
If it were something we could bet on, who would be crazy enough to put their money on the remote chance love lasted?
At least my head was capable of keeping sex and emotions separate, like everyone else should.
Look at Edward. He managed it as well. We were the smart ones.
"Come see your newly furnished rooms," Alice said, taking my hand.
The sitting room was amazing, with it's cathedral ceiling soaring above us. The stained glass windows had been custom made, with their multi shaped frames. A large circular window took up maybe a quarter of one wall. It contained a white dove with a twig in it's beak, flying past a rainbow. When the sun chose to come out from behind the clouds and shine through it, this whole room dripped with every colour known to man.
The original front wall had featured large tall windows but as the view was merely of a solid brick wall next door, this was a much better set up.
The other windows were square, or arched or rectangular, and each had simple stained glass scenes of wildflowers in meadows. Some in reds and oranges; some all shades of blue; some in purples and yellows and soft mauves. My favourite was diamond shaped and depicted soft pink fairy roses surrounded by tiny white blooms and bright purple irises. It was directly opposite where my bed faced out over the open void so it would be the first thing I saw when I awoke of a morning.
I dare say one did not often come upon that combination of flowers in the wild, but the colours melded together perfectly so some artistic licence was allowable.
I may not have an actual yard but I had the most beautiful garden right here on my walls.
All the walls were painted nondescript off white and the floorboards were whitewashed so they were just the canvas.
Edward's white lounge suite with it's many couches and armchairs fitted in perfectly. This sitting room was so big and open it needed a lot of furniture, so the many pieces his Mom had bought to fill all three of Edward's living rooms now filled just this one.
Looking up, you could see into my loft bedroom. Where the missing wall would usually be was an above the waist height balustrade of broomstick thick wooden columns, all beautifully carved by hand no doubt. They were evenly spaced and the gaps between them allowed you to see into the room easily.
The lack of privacy didn't bother me at all. Nobody would sleeping in the sitting room and looking up at me.
Not in this apartment.
You could see the ornate brass bed end, and the bottom of my white comforter. I needed something else, something amazing for a bed cover. My old quilt looked shabby and not in a chic way, so I would put it away in the closet.
Maybe I should buy a dozen throw pillows in bright patterns and colours and prop them along against the bedhead? I wanted my bedroom to be fun, not nearly as formal as Alec's had been, and Edward's was. Bedrooms are for fun, not deadly serious pursuits.
You could also see the claw footed tub ten foot from the side of the bed, so if I was sitting naked in it, maybe you would be able to see parts of me usually kept covered.
By bras or by Edward's chilly hands.
Had that been a good idea or a very bad idea? Did he think anything had changed between us now? God, men are just suckers for boobs. Just because they didn't have any of their own they become obsessed with them.
We don't have dicks and you don't see us wanting to paw the front of their pants all the time just because they have one each. Most of them are very ordinary and not that interesting anyway.
I've yet to meet a dick I'd want to have myself if I was a man.
We looked at men's faces when we were speaking to them, not their crotches. Dicks were something we borrowed the use of now and then, but it didn't have to mean anything.
How the hell did this become all about male appendages? I was glad none of these three could read my mind.
"Show me the dining room," I said and Edward and Jasper went back to whatever they'd been talking about before Alice and I had intruded.
As I expected, I now had a large white table and six matching elaborate chairs. Plus an armoire against each wall and two upmarket open kitchen dressers flanking the large bay window.
Now I just needed fancy dinnerware to showcase in them.
The media room now was a media room and had white leather recliner chairs and the largest television I'd ever seen. It creeped me out a little. In close ups, Johnny Depp's face would be larger than life. I hope he doesn't have bad skin or pimples when you are looking at him that closely. Ah, but it also meant I'd get up close and personal to Chris Hemsworth. My Thor and Avengers dvd's had better be here among the stack that must be Edward's.
Casablanca was on top, so it had made the trip upstairs safely.
Alice's bedroom was pretty and my bed looked good in here, with walls and all. She had the new pull out sofa against the wall with the large window so she could curl up on it to read.
If she found time now she had Jasper to play with. I'm not jealous or bitter.
Her few clothes were hanging in the walk through robe that led to her bathroom.
Maybe if she left the bathroom door open when she showered, the steam would keep them freshly ironed looking.
The baby's room was so adorable I pondered about buying one of those realistic baby dolls to put in here when Alice moved on in the future and took Tom with her.
The largest plain wall now boasted bright wallpaper that wasn't so childish it would need to be updated and changed as he grew, if he did stay for a few years.
"Edward put that up. He didn't think you would mind."
"It's fine. It brightens the room with all the primary colours," I replied. The curtains were made of identically patterned fabric. "Did he pull out his sewing machine and run these up?"
Alice looked quizzically at me.
"Sorry, I'm just frustrated. Whoever thought abstinence was viable? It's crazy. I'm no virgin and I could always find some man who would agree for us to hook up regularly at his place, I suppose. I don't want to sully my apartment with a succession of temporary men."
"Or you could man up and look for someone to love. Someone you would be happy to 'sully' your loft bedroom with."
"That won't be happening. That's my own personal space and will be forever. I don't want memories of some man who seemed to be my ideal then did me wrong, hanging about up there like some ghost."
"Not every single man in the world cheats, Bella."
"No, some of them just get your hopes up and desert you," I replied.
The other two guest rooms were pretty enough but the one Jasper's suitcase was in felt empty and cold. His bed was not even made up with linen. But then, it didn't need to be, did it? Alice had sheets and blankets on her bed and they seemed happy to share it, obviously.
"We should eat. Maybe food will make you more amiable," Alice suggested.
I doubted it.
Food would not satisfy the appetite gnawing at my body.
X~x~X~x~X
Supper was a lazy meal, with Tom grizzling and reaching for the dog, instead of eating the mushed up mess of unidentifiable vegetables his mother was trying to force into his mouth.
Jasper was sitting beside Alice, with their chairs pulled so close they were touching. They chatted to one another like old friends and barely noticed we were back.
"Okay, Edward, all this furniture looks familiar," I growled. "Strangely it seems to be identical to the furniture in your apartment. I wonder what the explanation could possibly be."
"Give him a break, Bella," Jasper broke off his conversation with Alice to interrupt, "Mom tends to forget her sons are single and free bachelors who are allowed to furnish their manly caves however they want to. She always likes missing the middle stage and honing in on where she hopes we will all end up in the not too distant future.
With a wife who likes this type of furniture. You want his women to think he chose it himself? He'll never get them into his bed, but they may send around their gay best friends."
"I'm not doing that anymore," Edward stated.
Jas looked at his brother in shock. He picked up his glass and examined the rich red wine inside it.
"You are not hooking up any more, or not taking them to your place?"
"Neither. If Bella can handle celibacy, I'm sure it won't be much of a challenge for me," he replied.
Yeah, because I'm handling it so well. I avoided eye contact with the emerald orbs looking at me.
"It's easy. Piece of cake," I lied. Two more minutes of Edward's hand roaming about down there last night and we'd neither of us qualify to use the term celibate. Maybe this was a very bad idea. Maybe Mike would forgive and forget if I promised to suffer through enough arias to keep him happy. Bad sex may just be better than no sex at all.
"So, you two cooked so go do Tom's bath and I'll clean up," I suggested, taking a pile of plates to the kitchen. Alec had left me all his white goods, so my dishwasher was much larger and more efficient than the little one in the other apartment.
I rinsed and stacked and Edward cleaned the counter tops and put leftovers away.
"You really did intend getting new furniture for your place before I bought this apartment?" I asked.
"I did. It's time. I always have wanted to change it, ever since Esme showed me what she had bought, but I never found the time. It's not me but it is you. Just accept it in the spirit it's given. If I'm renting a bedroom off you, I would prefer to have an armchair to sit in and a tv to watch in the media room."
He flicked off the light switch as I set the dishwasher, and the room went dark.
Next thing I had two arms around me and my body immediately betrayed me and relaxed and melded against his. A frisson of excitement hovered in the air.
"If I promised to keep it out of the workplace and we just used one another for sex, would you allow that?" he asked, his lips against my ear. "I don't think either of us are the abstaining type. It could create an awkward atmosphere at work, if we both want to shag every opposite gender suspect and witness we encounter."
His words sounded sincere but there was something a little off as well. But I ignored it, of course.
"It is starting to seem like the obvious solution," I admitted. A girl can change her mind. Change her rules, even if they were carved in stone. This could be useful for both of us.
I don't even get why I think sex with Edward could be dangerous, if there were no emotions involved. Why would it be any different to sex with Mike or his predecessors? It was just something my body clearly needed and didn't want to go without and Edward was here, needing the same thing.
He was well versed in sex without attachment. I wouldn't have to explain the concept to him or caution him, or sit through screaming fat ladies who mostly seemed to end up dead on stage, just to get some booty afterwards. We could keep it completely separate.
"Nobody can know. Marcus would be very displeased, " I reminded him.
"I wasn't planning on telling anyone," he replied, biting my earlobe and setting my body on fire.
"Have you been upstairs and seen how tidy my closet is?" I murmured. I know , no ghost in the bedroom but I could handle Edward's ghost. It would be different to some strangers and I'd rather enjoy having it as my companion when Edward himself was gone.
"No, you should show me," he whispered, wrapping his fingers in my hair and pulling it gently.
Somehow we made it up the spiral staircase and onto my bed, where it appeared some of my clothing had evaporated on the trip up here.
"Was this why you insisted we get tested?" I asked him as his lips grazed my earlobe. It had seemed a strange, random request at the time.
"Someday we may want to move on to sex without condoms, so we needed to be sure," he whispered.
I felt myself dampen at the thought. Not since my foolhardy teen years had I ever had sex without a layer of latex between my body and the owner of the joystick.
Edward's hand sought out my throbbing center and I wondered if finger size bore any relationship to the size of any other part of his anatomy because he had very long fingers indeed.
I gasped a little as his hand worked me into a vibrating, desperate ball of frenzy.
His touch was making me needier than I'd ever felt before. I wanted more of him, one other part in particular.
"Please," I begged and felt him push off his jeans and boxers together, and reach for the bedside cabinet in which he had apparently already created a stash of condoms.
The tear of the foil, the slight grunt as he eased it on, into place, and I was so ready.
Through my half closed eyes, I watched him smooth a layer of lube over the rubber. Just watching him touching himself like this made me so wet he would not need that lube.
His fingers were back, making sure the pot was still on the boil but that was not a problem, as he instantly realized.
His hands rested on the mattress on either side of my head as he hovered above me. We kept eye contact in the moonlight that streamed through the skylight above my bed, and smiled at one another. Normally at this point I shut my eyes and think of England, and just hope I will get one small thrill at least before my 'boyfriend' gets his and it's all over.
This time I wanted to keep eye contact and remind myself this was Edward. My best friend. He cared about me and if he wanted this to become our new 'thing', I'd wager he would try and make it good for me.
I had a feeling this would be worth the hassle of sneaking around.
He eased inside me slowly and I bit my lip and breathed deeply. My God, had I but known how well endowed he was, I would have swallowed my pride ages ago and jumped him one night when he was sleeping on my sofa, and risked injury from the springs.
"Are you okay?" he whispered, pausing as my body fought to adapt to his size. If any other man had asked, I would have thought him a complete tool for assuming this was the biggest I'd experienced but in Edward's case, it was true. He was...large.
"Mmmm," I replied, letting go of the breath I'd been holding and taking a gulp of fresh air into my lungs.
He edged in further and I felt him filling inside perfectly. This was so...unexpected. I thought he was probably a good lay seeing women did try to hook up with him again, but I guess I'd just assumed he knew what he was doing by now.
The fact he was so well endowed had not occurred to me.
He stopped and kissed my lips, making me moan out loud as his tongue massaged mine.
It worked, all of me relaxed.
"More?" he asked, a hand creeping down to my breast, playing with a nipple.
"There's more?" I said in disbelief.
He laughed quietly, amused, and started rocking, slowly, balancing on one hand; letting me adjust. Wow. I could feel every inch of him, and there were plenty.
I did thank God he had not been my first, because not only would he have been too large for a virgin to cope with, but also he would have ruined it for every guy who came after him.
Oh great time to be thinking of that now, Bella. If he decides this is a one off, then is there even any point looking for Mr Next, because he will disappoint.
I lay back and let him do the work, just to see how good he really was.
His green eyes burned and he kept watching my eyes as he thrust in over and over.
Sigh.
This was what I'd always imagined sex would be like. I'd read so many romance novels in my teens and had believed the lies. That every man was a God between the sheets and he lived to make you happy and satisfied, not caring about his own release because his main concern was pleasing you.
I could hear humming, and it took a moment to realize it was coming from me. Oh, Edward was good.
Very good indeed.
He pushed in and pulled out in long, slow strokes, igniting my body deep within and I bucked up to meet him every time, without thought. I could not lay there waiting for his re-entry, I wanted it now.
I suddenly understood why Jessica had been loathe to let him slip away after their one night of bliss. Not only did he have the goods but he knew how to use them for maximum effect.
Whoa, what was that? What the fuck was he doing to me? Something inside was purring and screaming for more.
Oh yes, it seemed I did have a g spot after all. I had wondered if it was just a myth but no, he was hitting it each time he came back inside me. It was like an electric charge. I was sure there were sparks.
He hadn't forgotten my other most sensitive area either, and he paused as he ground against it each exiting, and re-entry . My body was so on fire, I could almost smell it smoldering.
If he hadn't been making me desperate to come, I'd have been happy to lay here and take this for a very long time but my body refused to listen and ground against him.
I was writhing beneath him, not the best position for female satisfaction, but he had so much to offer he seemed to be everywhere and he brought me over the brink effortlessly.
"Edward," I cried out loud as everything built up to a crescendo and I peaked, moaning and shaking all over. It seemed there was a God, and he was inside me.
His arms closed around my body and held me still as I rolled with the waves of pleasure and forgot my own name. I felt so alive, and life was suddenly very worth living.
Just as I feared I was becoming too overwhelmed with this unprecedented level of pleasure, and it was too much and I may just blackout, he whispered in my ear and brought me back to him.
"It's okay, just relax and let yourself really feel, Bella. This is the reason we are here. I'll keep you safe, just go with it."
I shut my eyes and drifted, feeling myself tossed and buffeted as if I was in the control of the sea or maybe the wind. Colors streaked across the sky like shooting stars, and I heard myself cry out at the wonder of it all.
I had no idea my body was capable of this, and suddenly the reason why people become obsessed with sex made perfect sense. I'd never understood before.
Finally it started to abate, and I shuddered through the aftershocks. Then just in time, he moved again and kept them happening. His rock hardness against my melted softness, he somehow kept the waves pulsing for an age before they finally ended, leaving me boneless.
I opened my eyes and saw the delight in his.
He wasn't smirking, congratulating himself that, yes, he was that good, like I expected. No, he just looked happy for me. Like me being happy made him happy as well.
His rested his forehead against mine.
It seemed my release was important to him, which was new for me. Most guys care about getting themselves off and if you manage to get your thrill along the way, good for you. Whatever. Just don't ask for special consideration, or slow down their own pleasure.
"You are making me so happy," he said quietly, kissing my lips gently.
I was surprised at how different this was to any other encounter I'd been in. He really seemed to care that I was enjoying myself. But he had awakened something inside me and made me greedy. Was this almost done? Would he simply release himself and call it a night? That seemed to be how it usually went.
I need not have worried.
Edward kept his lips on mine as he started thrusting inside me again. I flexed my pelvic floor muscles and felt myself tighten around him, exciting him past his point of control, and he started thrusting wildly, desperately, and I felt him jerk almost in shock as he came and he screamed my name. Nobody had ever done that before.
He clung to me, holding me close, moaning into my mouth as his heart raced against my breasts. I kept my arms around him as he lunged in slowly now, feeling him ride out his orgasm. He seemed to know exactly how to prolong every bit of pleasure for us both and I felt myself get excited again, knowing I had brought him over as well.
This was so different, so foreign. I actually cared that he was enjoying my body. I wanted to give him everything. And I wanted more of him for myself.
His lips were on my throat, licking, mouthing me wetly.
"Oh God, do that again," I begged. I had no self consciousness, no care at how wanton I sounded. I had never experienced any lover a tenth as skilled as this man before. I just wanted more and more.
"So long as you do that thing to me again," he replied, his eyes shining, his body slick with sweat.
"What? What did I do?"I asked. I wasn't aware of doing anything special.
"You clenched. I've never felt that before. You blew my mind."
"Oh..there's a name for that? I just wanted to keep you inside me forever."
It seems a night with Edward is value for money and he bounced right back after each climax, ready for more. He loved it when I 'clenched' and took control of his orgasm. I could feel the anticipation from his body as he tried to pinpoint when I was going to bring him over. Sometimes I did it as soon as I recovered from my own orgasm; sometimes I kept him guessing and let him thrust for a few minutes more before tightening up on him and it was exciting to hear him scream my name over and over. Which was now "Yes, God Yes, Bella" it seemed.
I could easily become addicted to hearing that.
Condoms were discarded and replaced. I was no slouch myself, but I'd never managed even two orgasms in a row before. Let's face it, if I'd managed to get one before the guy finished, I'd considered it a victory. Maybe I should have 'clenched' them. It seemed to be something men went wild for.
The repeated orgasms left my body limp but happy.
"Really?" he sighed in my ear. "You are done?"
He was still moving inside me, still stoking the embers back into flame as he nipped my neck with his teeth. Everything he did just made me want more. He lowered his head and started nipping my nipples and my mind blanked.
"Oh Edward," I sighed, forgetting everything but the need to come again.
"Do you think you are ready to go on top?" he asked me.
I had visions of myself being split in two as he impaled me . He used a lot of lube on himself and then lubed up two of his long clever fingers and put them inside me, and he rotated them against my walls and coated them. He deliberately kept exciting me as he did this, and when I was humming with pleasure he lowered my body onto his slowly and showed me how to be in control of the depth of his penetration by taking my weight on my bended knees as I straddled him. Let's just say this had never been an issue before, with anyone else.
I could not take all of him in and I paused and rose away from his torso again. Edward just smiled and held my hips loosely, letting me remain completely in control.
"You are too big, I can't..." I stated.
"You will get used to it, in time," he promised. So, this was not a one off night? Good to know.
For the first time, I felt unsure about what I was doing, and it did cross my mind this may not have been our best idea, but as I felt him buck inside me, I didn't care. He felt amazing. I felt amazing. I'd never been with a man who seemed to know me so intimately and he'd already assessed my limits and was holding back so he didn't hurt me. As soon as I felt myself drifting into an orgasm, I did the clenching thing. We peaked together, for the first time and he grinned as he shook inside me and he leaned to kiss my shoulder.
"Tell me when you want to stop," he whispered, "because I'm never going to want to."
"Maybe we could rest for awhile," I replied, not because I wanted it over, but because I seriously needed a break. I had never done marathon sex before. It took some effort and adjustments.
Edward rolled me from on top of his body and disposed of the condom, then held me tight to his side. One arm was under my shoulders, keeping me close, the other flung above his head.
"Bella, that was the most amazing time I have ever had making , um, sex. You were right to call a halt because I will never get enough of you."
Making sex?
What was that about?
He could never get enough of me?
I wanted it to be true, but we had to keep this just between the sheets and if it changed and interfered with our working relationship, that would suck. We'd have to stop, because the job came first.
No, I came first, I laughed inside my head.
"Sleep," he commanded, shifting our bodies as one, spooning his around mine. "We need to regain our energy for the morning session."
"Like I will be able to sleep now, thinking about that," I murmured, but he already knew that molding his body behind mine, keeping maximum body contact, would send me off to Dreamland, and my eyelids were already fluttering. I felt so safe in his arms and I felt him softly kiss the top of my head as he surrounded me.
How come I had received more affection from a friend with benefits than ever from any of the guys who had sworn they loved me? It made no sense. Edward's hands slipped to wrap me in his embrace and I wove my fingers through his, and he sighed with what sounded very much like happiness. I had no clue as to the rules he wanted us to stick to, but we were beloved friends already and I didn't want to treat him like a convenient stranger, and it seemed, he didn't intend treating me that way either.
x~X~x
You know those dreams that are so vivid they trick you into thinking they are real? I was having one.
I woke up, alone, but could hear someone playing the piano.
I walked from the bedroom, dressed in something long and loose and floaty.
Edward was sitting at the piano, playing it intensely.
He started singing and I was surprised at how beautiful his voice was.
"This is a night
Something out of a movie from Hollywood
This is a night
Like your favourite song, makes you feel so good
This amazing night, I will remember until my time is through
Because I got to spend this night with you."
Oh, it was a love dream.
It seemed now my sexual needs had been taken care of so thoroughly, my brain had started craving love.
Edward looked up and his jade eyes burned. He walked towards me and took me into his arms, leading me around the loft floor, dancing in that old fashioned romantic way people used to dance.
Bodies together, hands entwined, eyes for only one another.
He didn't speak as such, but kept singing that part of a song over and over.
I could feel the love between us and he leaned down and kissed me.
Strangely, he still kissed the way he did in real life.
I was right; the man kissed like a man in love.
Although he was dancing, the piano kept playing.
Then he lifted me onto the top of it and sat down again, his fingers caressing the keys.
The music changed as he played so sweetly it had to be a lullaby.
I blinked.
There was a child sitting beside him.
She was small and had his hair, only it was very long, down her back, touching the seat.
She was clearly his little girl.
I watched her as she smiled at him and tried to copy the tune he was playing.
Then she looked up and saw me and her eyes were my eyes.
That was strange.
Was she my child as well?
Seriously?
Did my idea of a happy ever after now include a child, because it never had before.
They are too easily hurt by their parents. I would mess up her life and make her as confused and as closed off as I was.
So full of doubt that love even existed.
I drifted back, away from them, and Edward paused and held out a hand to me.
The child followed his lead and held out her hand as well.
I knew they were offering me a place at their side.
I stood there, undecided.
Love or an empty future?
I didn't really want to live the rest of my life all alone. I was gathering people to share my apartment with me because I needed friends. I needed companions.
Would the day come when I would take a chance on love again?
At worst, it would all fall down like it had with Riley but there was hope it wouldn't and it might just last and be real.
Everything went misty and Edward and the little girl disappeared and I sat there on the floor all alone.
Maybe they had got tired of waiting for me.
Was Edward my One or was he just a stand-in to represent the man in my future?
Surely I would know if he was meant for me in a real, lasting way.
Then I heard that song playing again.
Edward was singing but the words were different now.
"Well it's five o'clock, we share another cigarette
We're talking about a night that we will never forget
No destination, we went for a ride
Somewhere to run, some place to hide
And really soon, it's all over too fast
We're going back to nothing, so we are making it last."
Fuck me, reality had to show itself even in my dreams?
I am grounded, I know it's just sex so fuck off and stop reminding me.
And I would never share a cigarette with Edward. He'd had such a struggle to give up nicotine.
I care about Edward. I would never do anything to hurt him.
Get it right, Fate, Mother Nature, Universe, whoever the fuck you are.
The dream vanished and when I woke up just a tiny memory remained but it vanished completely as I stretched and opened my eyes.