Hello again! Here's another update. If you have any thoughts about the direction this is headed, feel free to review or message me. Chapter 6 is almost finished, so that will be posted soon. Thank you for reading!

I do not own Once Upon A Time or any of its characters.

Chapter 5

Most days, Emma left it up to chance whether she felt like her old self or if the darkness took hold. She tried to fight against the darkness for control of herself during the first few weeks, but eventually she learned that there wasn't much that she could do to stop it. Occasionally she would have a day where, for whatever reason, the darkness would relinquish its control and allow her to just be Emma—it always came back with a vengeance the next day, though. She lived for those days when she could feel like herself. When she felt the interval between those days became too great, panic would begin to build in the back of Emma's mind. Eventually, the sheer terror of losing herself would take hold, and she would resist the control of the darkness once more.

Emma leaned her head against the bars of her cell, feeling a bit of relief as the cold, damp bars touched her burning forehead. She'd been fighting the darkness inside of her all day, and the struggle was taking its toll. The internal fight left her feverish and physically weak, and she was losing hope that she would ever have another day of feeling like herself. She'd been fighting against the darkness all morning and, for the moment, it seemed she had won. This victory would not last—that much she'd learned—but even one moment of peace was incredibly satisfying. Any moment, she knew, the darkness would take hold again. She savoured the moment of internal peace, trying to will each second to stretch itself just a little longer. Her eyes grew heavy and she fought the desire to drift off into pleasant dreams; if she did, the darkness would creep in while she slept and ruin what ever sweet thought or memory into which she chose to retreat.

"Being naughty again, are we?" Merlin sneered. "You gave into it already, Emma. The darkness is a part of you."

"I…" she started. "I…did not."

"Oh, but you did! Remember? You killed those people and revelled in the thrill of snuffing out their pathetic little lives. Then there were the guards. You laughed wildly while you crushed their hearts still beating in their chests." He waited a moment for what he'd said to sink in. "Do you remember when we captured you in that village? The one with the little school that sat on the edge of a field filled with wild flowers? It was always a beautiful sight to behold in the spring—not that it will be anymore. You remember what you did there?"

"Why are you doing this?" Emma cried softly. Why did it seem like he was trying to make her give up? It was as if he wanted her to lose hope, to let the darkness win.

Merlin did not respond to her question. He waited, wanting to see the darkness take hold of her once more before he left. Seconds passed, then minutes, and after an hour of waiting, the Sorcerer grew angry. Emma had eventually passed into sleep, but he could see that it wasn't the kind of fitful sleep she normally had. There were no nightmares, she didn't cry out for Henry. He approached the cell, glaring down at the sleeping blond. For a moment, he cleared away some of the magic fog, hoping to get a better look at Emma in the moonlight. He noticed how her skin was glittering just a bit less than it had the previous day and she had gotten some of the natural colour back in her face. This was not a good sign.

Emma slept peacefully, having a pleasant dream about Henry being in New York City with Killian. As Emma watched scenes play out from Henry's life in the city, Regina told her about how much they'd all missed her and how excited they were to have her back. It had been so long since Emma had been able to dream about them; when the darkness took over, it was nearly impossible for her to even remember her loved ones. Emma smiled to herself as she slept. Even if it was only a dream, it was so wonderful to be able to see her son's face again.

Allowing the fog to settle back into the cell, Merlin turned away from Emma and stormed out of the cavern. As he left, he turned to one of the guards and instructed, "Restrict her food until I tell you to stop. One meal a day or less." He needed the darkness to consume her, and for that to happen, she had to start losing the fight against it. He needed her to be weak.

• • •

The door to Camelot was open, allowing moonlight to stream into the otherwise dimly lit room. Regina sat on the bed, staring into the landscape that appeared to be on the other side of the bedroom wall. She hadn't gone in yet. She knew that she needed to tell the Charmings, Henry, Killian, and Robin about this before she did anything. For now, she was content to only look.

"Emma," she began, holding the dagger in her hands. She'd done this a few times, pretending that, even though she could not summon Emma, she still might be able to use the dagger to communicate with her. It had been quite a while, though. Whenever Regina felt that she wasn't making progress on finding Emma, all of her guilt over the other woman's sacrifice would come rushing back to the front of her mind, making her conversations with the dagger too overwhelming for her to handle. Now, though, she finally felt like there had been a leap forward. The door to Camelot, to where Emma was sent, was sitting in front of her. She could finally give Emma some good news—assuming Emma could hear her, that is. "I know it's been a while since I last spoke to you. When the Apprentice started to grow weaker, it felt like I was hitting another dead end and I just couldn't handle talking to you. It hurt too much. I'm sorry." Regina nervously flipped the dagger over in her palms. If Emma could hear her when she held the dagger, then Regina knew that her going to long without talking to her was cruel. She started again, fighting back tears and the lump in her throat as she spoke, "H-Henry is still in New York. Killian says he's doing well in school and he's made quite a few friends. Apparently, Henry is also trying to teach Killian to play video games, but Killian is having a very hard time grasping the concept." Regina chuckled to herself at the thought of the one-handed pirate trying to use and Xbox controller. "We all miss you Emma. So much." Regina paused to swallow the sobs that were forming in her throat. "It won't be long now. I promise. I am going to come for you—we're all going to come for you. We won't let your heart turn black." Regina squeezed her eyes shut, refusing to let the tears fall from her eyes. She clutched the dagger in her hands as though doing so would somehow keep her from losing Emma. "Please, Emma. Please hold on. We're coming."

A faint gold glow erupted from Regina's hands and enveloped the dagger for a few seconds before fading. Regina opened her eyes just in time to see the soft golden glow as it disappeared. "What?" She stared down at her hands in shock. "What just happened?" Regina wasn't able to think much more about what she'd seen before she heard the squeal of tires outside, followed by Ruby's quick footsteps coming through the hallway.

"Regina!" Ruby called as she burst into the room. "Regina! Are you here?"

"Well it's not like anyone else would be," Regina muttered as she tried to wipe away her tears before the wolf could spot them.

"You need to go! Now! Robin is in the car outside." Ruby was practically pulling Regina up from the bed.

"Hold on a minute!" Regina ripped her arms away and shot a glare at Ruby. "First of all, go where? Second, why would I leave? I finally have a portal to get to Emma and—"

"Blue came running into Granny's when she found the Apprentice. She said he was running from you! That you killed him! The whole town is riled up. They burned down your house, Regina!" The last sentence got Regina's attention.

"Roland and Robin—!"

"Are safe. I got them out just in time. They are in the car waiting for you right now." Ruby went to look out the window and make sure no one had followed her to the mansion. Turning back to Regina, Ruby said, "Blue told everyone that she won't be able to save Emma without the Apprentice's help. People are calling for your head!" Ruby started to try and pull the shocked Regina out of the room once more.

"Wait—"

"There's no time! They'll find you here eventually!"

"Hold on!" Regina ripped her arm away from the wolf again. "I don't know what Blue is playing at, but she's definitely not trying to help Emma." She turned her attention to the door.

Ruby had been helping Regina care for the Apprentice and had heard her conversations with him, so she knew that the Apprentice had never been working with Blue to save Emma. More importantly, she'd been there the night the Apprentice had run off; she'd seen him before he died and knew he hadn't been running from Regina. "What're you going to do?"

"I need to destroy the door to Camelot."

"What?! Why?"

"I don't know what Blue is up to, but whatever it is, she's not acting in Emma's best interests. If I leave the portal open and she finds it, there's a chance she might do something to keep us from saving Emma." Regina let out a sigh. She didn't know how to get to Camelot without this portal, but she couldn't just leave now; she couldn't just leave Robin and Roland, but she also knew that it might be too dangerous to take them with her. She would have to find another way. "I'm sorry, Emma," Regina whispered as she closed the door to Camelot. After securing the dagger in its sheath, she raised both of her hands toward the door. Opening her palms, Regina released two beams of magic that caused the door to collapse inward and eventually shrink out of existence.

Before leaving the mansion, Regina retrieved the books and other items that she had found in Blue's fireplace and hid them in her trunk in the compartment that was supposed to hold a spare tire. She then pulled the bags Robin had packed for them over the lid, hiding the compartment completely. As she closed the trunk, she and Ruby turned their attention to the sound of rabble that was slowly growing closer. Regina turned to Ruby and said, "Call me if anything changes. Do not tell anyone you were here or that you saw me. Got it?"

"Got it."

Regina opened the door to the car. Before getting in, she looked over her shoulder at Ruby. "Thank you." She lowered herself into the car and started the engine. After backing the car most of the way down the driveway, Regina turned her attention to the mansion one last time. She couldn't risk Blue finding anything in there. Looking around to make sure that Ruby was long gone and that no one else was around, Regina used her magic to make the mansion collapse. Then, she lit a fireball in each of her palms and sent them flying onto the rubble.

• • •

Killian sat on the couch in front of the television watching his reflection in the black screen. He knew he had to press one button and then another on the remote to make the black screen light up, but he could not, for the life of him, remember which buttons those were. After trying several different combinations, he'd tossed the remote onto the table, only to realize that there was a second remote on the floor in front of him. At that point he'd given up. He would have to find some other way to entertain himself until Henry came back from school.

When they had first arrived in New York, Killian had decided to try and find a job. However, he soon realized that he was not familiar enough with this world to pass as a normal citizen. Every potential employer he'd met had asked him to fill out an application somewhere called "online." Although Killian had recently learned to turn on the computer, using it was an entirely separate challenge. For now, he was going to have to rely entirely on the money Regina had given him.

He leaned back into the couch, trying to determine how best to spend his day. Just as he was mustering up the strength to try the second remote, Killian heard his phone ringing in the next room. He ran to the only piece of technology he could actually use and answered the call.

"Hook, it's Regina."

"Aye. You're the only one with this number, love. Have you any news of Emma?"

"I can tell you about that when we get to New York. Do you have a guest room?"

"Hold on," he said, confused about why Regina was coming to the city. "Why are you coming here? And who is 'we'?"

"Something happened," she sighed. He could hear that she was exhausted. "Robin, Roland, and I had to leave Storybrooke. I'll explain when we get there. Can we stay in Emma's old apartment with you?"

"Yes, of course." Killian looked around the apartment, trying to determine how much cleaning needed to be done before the queen arrived. Having spent most of his life living on less than sanitary ships, as well as only having one hand, keeping an apartment clean was not one of Killian's talents. He started attempting to clean the kitchen just as Henry walked through the front door.

"Whoa! What's this?" Henry joked, motioning to the broom in the pirate's hand. "I was starting to worry that you didn't know how to clean."

"Excuse me, but I keep things in order."

"Sure, but only by having me do most of the work as chores." Henry dropped his bag on the kitchen table. "I know, I know. 'It builds character,'" he mocked as he plopped down into one of the chairs. "It's weird, the apartment was always spotless when mom was here." He looked down at his hands, losing himself for a moment in a memory of his mother. Regina had restored all of Henry's memories of his life with Emma that she'd given him before ending the first curse, as well as from the year he'd spent in New York with Emma before the second curse. She'd even sent Henry and Hook to their old apartment in Manhattan—luckily, Emma had paid the co-op fees for three years in advance after she signed for the apartment. Henry believed that Emma died in a car accident several months ago on their way back from a case in Maine. Emma had taken him with her and he had been recovering in the hospital for a few months after the wreck. After his mother's death, he believed that she had left her former foster sibling, Killian, in custody of Henry. Luckily, being back in New York, Henry had quite a few supportive friends who were helping him deal with his loss. He had eventually started to move past her death, but every now and then something would remind him of her and it would all come bubbling back to the surface. As far as Henry knew, his mother had been all he had for his entire life before her passing. With her gone, every moment, every experience he had felt like there was something missing.

Killian pulled a chair close to Henry and placed his hand on the boy's shoulder. "I know this has been hard for you, my boy."

"It's fine. I'm fine." Henry blinked the tears away. "I'm going to go work on my homework," he told Killian as he pulled his backpack over his shoulder and walked to his room, closing the door behind him.

Watching Henry try to hide what he was feeling, Killian couldn't help but wonder from which of his mothers he'd picked up that habit.

• • •

The collapse of the mansion had been both heard and felt throughout the town. At first, everyone had wondered if it was an earthquake, but the thick black smoke rising from the rubble made them think otherwise. Charming had run to the scene as soon as he saw the smoke. Although he was concerned about whether or not anyone had been hurt, he couldn't help but feel relieved at having an excuse to get out of the apartment. Although both he and Snow were slowly accepting that Emma was never coming back, they were handling the realization in very different ways. Both of them recognized that, throughout Emma's entire life, she'd been isolated, terrorized, and manipulated by magic and those who could wield it. Neither of them wanted that for Neal, but they had very different approaches for how to go about doing so. Charming had suggested that they leave Storybrooke and raise their infant son in a world without magic. Even though he blamed Regina to some extent for losing Emma, he recognized that she would be capable of leading the townspeople in he and Snow's absence, which, in his mind, made leaving the town seem like a viable option. Snow, on the other hand, felt that being in Storybrooke helped her stay connected to Emma. After all, they had only gotten to know their daughter when they were in the magical town, and being there helped Snow keep her memories of Emma alive. However, the thought of her son's life being touched by magic left her in a state of terror. In the apartment, Snow thought she could keep him safe from the magic's reach. As a result, she refused to allow her son to leave the apartment or her sight. David understood his wife's behaviour, but it was slowly becoming too much for him. He found himself using any excuse he could think of to get out of the apartment.

As he surveyed the charred remains of the mansion, Charming puzzled over why anyone would want to destroy it. Only a few people in the town even knew about the Sorcerer's mansion, and about half of them were not currently in the town. He kicked at the ash, trying to determine if it was cool enough to touch. As he continued to walk around the perimeter of the rubble, he heard the rising sound of yelling coming up the road. He watched as the angry mob moved toward him. "What is going on?" he demanded.

Leroy, who was leading the crowd, approached him. "Regina killed the Apprentice! She's the reason we lost Emma and now she's sabotaging Blue's efforts to bring her back!" After surveying the area, he continued, "We couldn't find her at her home, her office, or her vault, then we saw the smoke and thought maybe she was here."

"If she was, she's either dead or gone." David surveyed the scene once more. It didn't make any sense that Regina would be trying to sabotage any effort to save Emma. Regina had been leaving messages on his phone for weeks now, letting him know whenever she'd found something. A few weeks ago, she'd mentioned having spoken to the Apprentice, that they were going to find a way to get to Camelot to save Emma. One of her last messages had sounded worried, though. She'd said the Apprentice was growing weaker and she wasn't sure if he'd recover. Charming hadn't told anyone about the messages, though, and he felt certain that Regina hadn't been confiding in anyone else in the town—other than Robin, there was almost no one in the town that Regina trusted. To make matters more confusing, he was sure that Blue had told him there was nothing that she could do to help Emma almost four months earlier. He had also told Regina that, but she'd looked so confused when he said it. Something about this situation wasn't adding up. He needed to find Regina and ask her what had happened. "You said she wasn't at home?"

"Nope, and she won't be going back, either. We burned that big house of hers to the ground. We're done letting her destroy everyone else's happiness!"

Charming grabbed the dwarf's shoulders firmly, looking unblinkingly into his eyes. "Leroy! Robin and Roland were staying with her! Where are they?"

"I…W-we didn't know anyone else was in the house. We figured the fire would drive her out, but it went up so fast and no one came out." Leroy was going into shock. Had he killed Robin and his son? Leroy continued to explain, his voice getting more and more quiet as he continued, "We burned all of her hiding places so that she would have nowhere to go. We didn't even think that maybe someone else was…" His mouth hung open, but no more words came from it.

David turned away from Leroy and the now silent crowd. He pulled out his phone, finding Regina's number and calling it as fast as he could. It didn't ring. His call went straight to voicemail. "It's David," he whispered into the phone. He was careful not to mention her name in front of the mob. "If you get this, call me immediately." Even though he knew about Regina's actions in her dark past firsthand, he still felt that Regina hadn't done what everyone was claiming. Before hanging up he told her, "Stay hidden. Something is wrong, but I'm going to find out what's going on."

• • •

A small 'thunk' sounded in the little car as Roland's head finally collided with the window. He'd been trying to stay awake to see where they were going, but finally nodded off just as they reached the outskirts of the city. Regina reached back and lifted Roland's head, putting her folded coat beneath it as a cushion. She turned back to the road, preparing to give Robin directions when they reached the exit. "Are you okay to drive in the city?" she asked.

"I'll be just fine, milady." He smiled at her, but it didn't fully reach his eyes. That morning he'd been rudely awoken by an angry mob running through the streets and howling Regina's name. He'd thrown some clothes in a bag, grabbed Roland, and run to Regina's car just before the mob reached Mifflin Street. Lucky for him, Ruby had coming running toward him just as he pulled out of the driveway, and told him where Regina was. The mob had set the house ablaze just as he turned the corner on the opposite end of the block to drive away. He had been able to see the smoke in the rear-view mirror as he drove to the Sorcerer's mansion. The fire had spread so quickly! If he hadn't gotten out of the house, both he and Roland would surely be dead. He hadn't wanted to mention this in front of his son, who didn't seem to have grasped the danger they were fleeing, so he had waited to ask Regina about what had happened. "So, then. Are you going to tell me why we are back in New York?"

"I found the books." She'd kept Robin up to date for the most part. He knew about her conversations with the Apprentice and that she was convinced that there were other storybooks hidden in the fairy's convent. Robin had thought she was finally beginning to snap, but now he wasn't so sure. "The Apprentice ran away while I was getting them."

"I thought he was too weak to do much of anything, though?"

"He was. He died after he left the mansion and the Blue Fairy found him." She sighed, remembering that her main ally in this quest was now gone. "Ruby said that Blue convinced the town that I'd killed him. She told them that I was preventing her from saving Emma."

"So they burned down our home?" Robin tried to hide some of the frustration in his voice; he was angry at the townspeople, not her.

"Most of the people in Storybrooke have pretty good reason to hate me. It wouldn't take much to get them to turn against me. They've tolerated me because Emma, Snow, and Charming told them to." She looked out the window, not wanting Robin to see how much this all troubled her, and continued, "But with Emma gone and the Charmings hiding in their apartment, there's no reason for them to hold back anymore. Even if I had tried to explain myself, no one would have believed me."

Robin glanced over at Regina. He could see the toll this whole ordeal was taking on her. People had been acting hostile toward her for weeks now. Even though she was the only one still trying to save Emma, no one could see her as anything but the Evil Queen. Life in Storybrooke after Emma disappeared had been so hard for her, and it pained Robin to watch her deal with it day in and day out. Perhaps, other than for escaping the angry mob, leaving Storybrooke was for the best. "I believe you, my love." He reached out and gave her knee a gentle squeeze. Regina stayed turned toward the window. As they passed under the streetlamps, Robin could see the light reflecting off the tear that was rolling down her cheek. "What's the matter, my dear?"

"The Apprentice. He left me a portal to Camelot. I…destroyed it before we left." She swallowed hard. "I don't know how we're going to find Emma now." The sob she was trying to choke back finally forced itself out of her throat. Regina covered her mouth as she finally gave into the distress she'd been hiding the whole day. "How am I going to find her, Robin?"

They drove the rest of the way to the apartment in silence, save the few times Regina had to tell Robin where to turn. He gave Regina's knee another squeeze, his way of trying to let her know that it was going to be okay. Regina called Hook just as Robin was pulling into the parking garage. Killian would meet them at the front gate in ten minutes. After they parked, Regina opened one of the back doors to pick up Roland while Robin retrieved their bags from the trunk. Neither of them saw the man in a dark hoodie wielding a knife sneaking along the back of the adjacent car.

Grabbing Robin's hair and placing the tip of the knife at the base of his head, the man yelled, "Give me the keys and put the bags back in the trunk."

"What's going on?" Regina asked, standing back up from the other side of the car. "Let him go," she demanded after seeing the knife.

"Oh yeah, lady! What're you gonna do? If you want your man to walk away from this, you better do what I say." The man gave Robin's head a harsh tug.

Regina came around the side of the car and started to raise her left arm as though she was going to conjure a fireball. In a truly menacing voice, Regina instructed, "I said, let. Him. Go."

"I'm not gonna tell you again lady."

"Neither will I," she said as she flicked her wrist, igniting a ball of fire in the palm of her hand.

The man dropped both the knife and Robin, and stumbled backward, falling onto the ground. "What—?"

"Now get out of here!" He didn't need to be told again; the man scrambled to his feet and fled. Regina closed her fist, extinguishing the flame.

""Let's get to the apartment," Robin said, rubbing the back of his neck where the knife had been held. He picked up the bags as Regina lifted Roland from the car. Neither of them said anything as they hastily made their way to the apartment building, but they were both thinking about the same thing: Regina had used magic outside of Storybrooke.

• • •

Neal was laying on his back in his crib staring up at the brightly coloured mobile hanging above his head. He rocked himself back and forth with excitement as he watched the brightly coloured figures rotate. After a short while, he'd built up a great deal of momentum from all of his rocking and he suddenly found himself on his stomach. His little arms and legs shot out with surprise as he realized that he was now facing down instead of up. He didn't like facing this direction; it was uncomfortable and smelled like whatever his mother had rubbed on the back of his head. Neal squirmed for a moment, clenching and unclenching his tiny fists, before a bright white light started to glow in his palms. The light started to become stronger until he was finally engulfed by a puff of white smoke and disappeared, only to reappear moments later in the same spot, but on his back. The baby giggled with delight as he returned to watching the mobile.