Its Murder Sequel
Chapter 2
I met Laurent, the 'other' absent housemate about an hour after I got my room sorted and drifted downstairs. He'd opened the front door,and walked in, hanging his coat on the pegs in the foyer.
It was an interesting coat, sort of tribal or something. Woven in brightly coloured yards, it looked pretty amazing but then this man was never going to settle for plain leather.
He was tall, Jamaican, with bright dark eyes and long dreads to his waist. They'd rival those worn by Lenny Kravitz in his 'Are You Gonna Go My Way' heyday.
He raised his eyebrows as he openly looked me over, then smiled and took a step towards me.
"Bella, I presume. I'm Laurent."
"Hi, I'm Bella," I replied, immediately realizing. "Oh, you know that. How did you know I'd be the one invited to move in?"
I shook the hand he offered, awkwardly. I never know how to carry this hand shaking thing off confidently and not look like an idiot.
"Because the girls wanted another female in the house, so that ruled out the three males who applied; and the only other female in the running was a skinny blonde girl who couldn't cook, or even read a cookbook I suspect. So I was quite sure our new family member would be the amazing all cooking, all cleaning Bella Swan."
I bit my lip.
"Yeah, that whole all cleaning bit...my Mom may have exaggerated that to make sure I got voted in."
"She was that keen to get you out of her house?" he laughed.
"Twenty something year old student daughters are not always the recipe for a peaceful life, believe it or not. Some of them can be a challenge."
"Oh good," he said, still holding my hand in his. "If there's one thing I like it's a challenge."
Of course I blushed like a fool, and he finally let my hand drop.
"How about we get to know one another over a coffee?"
"Yes, sure, okay," I stuttered, hoping he would be a typical male and do most of the talking himself.
We sat facing one another over the kitchen table as he raided various tins looking for snacks to offer me, finally cheering at a stash of ginger cookies I'd actually made and brought in here myself.
"I don't know who owns these but they won't notice if we just take two each," he whispered as he offered them to me.
He poured the coffee and sat down and I grinned as he bit into one of his stolen cookies and his face lit up.
"Wow, these are amazing. Nobody here usually actually bakes, all their snacks are store bought. I wonder who ... Crap. You made these, didn't you? I'm feeding you your own purloined snacks. I don't steal food regularly, I assure you."
"Liar," said Siobhan, coming in and sitting down on the chair beside me.
"I have a strong suspicion you stole the last of my breakfast muesli," she growled.
"And I suffered for that. It tasted like sawdust. Next time I'll just skip breakfast and go off to class starving."
"Or you could buy your own food supplies more regularly, like the rest of us do," she suggested sweetly as he moved around the kitchen again, making her a cup of some kind of herbal tea.
"Laurent, if you ever need to borrow again from anyone's food supplies, choose mine. I shop all the time and we don't want our baby maker going without.
Same for you, Siobhan. Please always help yourself to my stuff if you prefer what I have or if anyone takes your supplies. I honestly will not mind. And I love to bake and never get a whole batch of cookies eaten by myself before they go stale."
And the department paid my expenses anyway so it was no skin off my nose.
I need to be popular and trusted.
Just because one might think Laurent was the more obvious person to be buying drugs didn't mean that was the case. Stereotyping was a dangerous tool. I had a feeling I might actually enjoy this assignment. So far I liked all my fellow housemates.
I liked the sense of companionship and they were indeed rather like siblings.
I may not have any of my own but I've had years to observe Edward and his brothers joking about, bantering with one another like this.
Edward.
I wished he'd come in and prove to me he was my Edward Cullen. I was probably going to burst into tears if it turned out to be another man of the same name, though what my Edward would be doing here was a mystery. He did not work for Marcus anymore, that was a fact so there was no reason it would be him.
Oh well, at least it would give me a valid excuse to talk to him again if it wasn't him. It would be perfectly natural to call him and tell him I had a housemate with the same name.
Dinner was my job tonight, last in, so I rustled up a pot of mushroom lasagna, and it met with everyones approval.
Benjamin was out on his date, so he didn't get to taste my first effort, and Edward Cullen was still absent as well.
Jade told me to leave their servings in covered dishes in the fridge so they had the option to reheat and eat later when they got home.
I watched some tv with the others then made my way upstairs, my ears alert for any sound that indicated my neighbour had managed to sneak in unnoticed. Unlikely, as I'd spent more time watching the front door than the flat screen.
I knocked quietly on his bedroom door but there was no answer and no sounds coming from inside to indicate he was here.
Rats, now I'd have a restless night waiting for the sound of his door shutting to alert me that he was home and my curiosity would have to wait until tomorrow morning to be satisfied.
Could it be my Edward? Wouldn't he have given me a heads up if it was? If it was him, was he here because he wanted to be, or here to make sure I didn't put myself in the middle of a drug deal between bikie gangs?
I truly intend for this to be the simple case it could be.
Chat, observe, listen, feign disinterest, then casually go tell Riley some hours later so nobody associated talking in front of me, and me running off anywhere.
I was going to keep myself super safe and never put anyone else in danger like I had last time.
God, what had happened between Aro and Rose?
I mean, besides the obvious.
Would I ever be a good enough friend to make up to her for what she had suffered through because of me?
Her text messages were light hearted and sassy, though she had been ill for a week or so with a fever, but she assured me Emmett was rather good at bed baths, and Esme had nursed her back to health with copious amounts of homemade chicken soup and regularly fluffed up pillows.
It sounded like it was helping Bree to have Rose there in the same house.
They spent a lot of evenings sitting together, talking about what they had been through and Rose even suspected Bree got more out of their chats than her sessions with her various mental health workers, who could barely imagine the horrors she'd suffered.
Rose had taken my puppy, Jakey ,back with her and given her to Bree.
It had become impractical for me to keep her now I had no support system in place to fill in and look after him when I wasn't around.
I missed his big muddy paws leaving paw prints on my floors, and his goofy expression. He put his head on one side whenever I was having an in depth heart to heart discussion with him, and just listened without judging or blaming me.
Now he was someone else's dog.
But it was for the best. I wasn't sure I should be responsible for another life any more.
My recklessness had shocked myself as well as the others, once the reality of what could have happened finally hit home, and broke through my stupid and entirely erroneous conviction that everyone had overreacted.
I didn't deserve a dog.
Bree would be a better owner for Jakey.
Owning a dog could be a form of therapy all by itself and Bree now had someone she could tell her deepest, darkest secrets to, if she was still withholding anything from Rose.
I know it was breaking Rose's heart to see such a young girl so broken by that man and his 'trainers'.
'God damn Aro to Hell' was her new sign off motto at the end of every text. Some people put smiley faces and Hello Kitty and cute little logos but Rose just wanted to put that request out there to the Universe every time she messaged anyone.
She and Emmett were not in any hurry to build a house for themselves. They were quite happy living with his parents.
She did think Emmett's choice of land was 'typical Emmett' and not really they type of backyard she had in mind if they had kids in the future but she had joined in his skirmishes with his friends there and thought paintball wars were quite fun.
Rose never failed to surprise me.
Before she went u/c, she wore designer suits and Manolo's and never had a hair out of place. Now she was running around with a paintball gun in camouflage gear and combat boots.
I was just glad her recent experience had not put her off wanting to have a baby sometime.
Despite their lifestyles to date, things were different now and they'd both make excellent parents. Rose would definitely not be one of those pathetic mothers who always made up excuses why her little Billy had done something bad.
She'd never enable him by the 'it wasn't his fault, he got led astray by that bad Freddie Smith, who was the actual one who did the deed. My Billy had no idea what that Freddie was going to do. He was an innocent bystander.'
Nope, little Billy would cop a just punishment for whatever he got up to.
I couldn't decide if I'd rather see them with a big brawny son like Emmett or a ravishingly beautiful daughter who took after Rose. Just as long as it didn't work the other way around.
I'd never have thought Rose would rush ahead of me in the settling down stakes, but it has happened.
She and Emmett are already gotten to a whole level at the very least, ahead of Edward and I.
I had no doubt we would catch up at some point, but that depended on how soon we reconciled.
And how quickly we moved ahead.
In the end I took a shower and was just coming out of the small bathroom, closing it's door behind me so there would be room on the tiny landing to open mine, when I saw him.
He was standing with his back to me, unlocking his bedroom door, so we had no choice in the restricted available space but to be close enough for our bodies to graze together slightly.
I inhaled and a shiver went down my spine.
My Edward was here, living in this house, sharing the third floor with me.
He'd taken the first step and there was no way I wasn't reciprocating and showing him I was just as keen as he was to put the past few weeks behind us.
"Edward," I said in delight, holding my towel around my suddenly excited body.
He turned and smiled.
I could see he was vastly relieved that I'd regained most of the weight I'd lost. His eyes slid over me like the doctor he would one day be, assessing my health.
I'd just found it really hard to eat for a while. It was normal for me to avoid mirrors so until I went back to Forks for the wedding, and saw the shock at my appearance on everyone's faces, I hadn't realized how bad I looked.
Edward assumed I'd lost the will to live but it was just a normal reaction to extreme stress for me. It had happened before.
When I was a child I was sent twice a year to visit Mom for two week breaks, and as soon as the calendar ticked over to the month I was going there, I would stop eating.
Not so bad if my visit was early in the month, but sometimes it was in the latter half, and I'd be skin and bones by the time I got there.
I think Renee took a little delight in seeing me looking half starved and 'neglected' so the entire visit would be her stuffing me full of every foodstuff known to man so she could send me back looking so much better than I had when I'd arrived.
It was totally unfair on Dad, who took me to doctors and bought all manner of fatty, sugar laden unhealthy treats in the attempt to tempt me to eat.
The stress of knowing I had to leave him and my home was just overwhelming and there had been nothing he could do other than have me admitted to hospital and tube fed.
He found the solution by insisting I had to go to my Mom's within the first week of the vacation month regardless of whether that school term was finished or not.
Of course this messed with Mom's leave from her job, but Charlie had stood firm and said if Renee couldn't adapt, then maybe she didn't really want to see me at all, and the access visits could always be canceled.
She always complied and rearranged her time off but she grizzled about it the whole time I was with her, so it really had spoilt any joy I may have hoped to experience while visiting my Mom.
xxxx
When Charlie picked me up at the airport when I went back for Alice's wedding, , he'd taken one look at me and headed straight to a restaurant, then sat there watching me eat.
"No, this is not happening again. This happened after Jake, but when it didn't happen after Riley, I thought we were past this, Bella. You have to eat. No matter whatever happens in your life, you have to keep eating. Promise me."
Sometimes eating just seemed too much trouble.
"The only reason it didn't happen after Riley left was because Edward was always there, cooking meals for me and taking me out to restaurants. He never gave me the opportunity to grieve," I replied.
"Well, as grieving for you always means flirting with anorexia, I'm glad he was there. Eat."
I felt strong inside, so I'd fooled myself that I was fine.
Everything was fine.
My clothing had just stretched for some reason.
Nothing tightening up the belt a few notches couldn't solve.
I'd eaten the meal he'd bought me, then picked at the sandwiches he'd forced upon me to snack on during the drive home to his house, and then Sue had planted a large serving of her delicious stew in front of me for dinner.
In my bedroom there were little packets of nuts to nibble,and a bowl of fruit.
No flowers.
Only edibles.
Still, much as I had tried, it had been impossible to fatten up before the wedding two days later, but Sue and Charlie had given it their best shot.
I had shocked Edward the first time he'd seen me, so it kind of made sense that he was here, now.
I know he cares deeply about me and every phone call after I'd left Forks had started with a grilling about what I'd eaten.
He'd backed right off as well about our issues and promised we would work through things and get back what we had before. Then he'd sworn on his Mother's life that he had absolutely no interest in moving on, and leaving me behind.
In fact, we'd start over and end up stronger than ever.
I was debating whether to just drop the towel and make no pretence about not wanting him back inside me as soon as possible, when he silently took it from me himself.
Sadly this was not inspired by lust. He just wanted to make sure I was a hundred pounds again.
He motioned for me to turn, and touched my back and shoulders.
I wanted to giggle and tell him he wasn't inspecting a horse because that's what it seemed like. Some potential buyer checking the health of the animal on sale.
He tucked the towel back around me and stepped back, as if that hadn't even happened.
"Hello there. You must be Bella Swan. It's nice to meet you. I'm Edward Cullen."
I stood still, glancing around. Was he undercover? Had he changed his mind and rejoined the squad? Why else the pretence? Nobody downstairs could hear us.
"I'm enrolled in the same college as you are. I'm doing a revision course to refresh myself with the medical course I left halfway through previously, a few years ago. I shall look forward to getting to know you. Good night."
His hand reached out and stroked my cheek.
"You look beautiful."
And with that he went into his bedroom and closed the door.
I guess my mouth gaped like a fish out of water for a moment, then I shivered, from the cold this time, and went into my own bedroom. It was as I was quickly crawling into my pj's that I realized.
This was our fresh start.
This was Edward and I, beginning again. Starting over.
And this time we had to get it right.
xxxx
I woke up the next morning knowing before I even opened my eyes that something was different. Oh, of course. I was smiling.
Lately I'd hated waking up because dragging myself into consciousness meant leaving my dreams behind and facing reality.
A reality where Edward was just an occasional voice on the phone, rather than the phenomenal lover in my arms whose lips tortured mine all night long in my dreams.
But now he was here and even if we hadn't rushed into one another's arms, this was enough.
I showered quickly and dressed far more carefully than I'd expected to, and frowned at the contents of my suitcase. These clothes had seemed ideal before but now I wanted some prettier garments to wear.
Practical was all very well, but I wanted to add some feminine touches and indulge in some luxuries. Perfume. Make-up. That expensive hair product line that made my hair shine.
I wanted to look my best and be as pretty as I could manage to be.
Maybe I'd even buy something to wear in pink.
Just a blouse or top, I wasn't about to turn into a girlie girl but I wanted Edward to notice me again, and so I would make more of an effort to be the type of girl he would be proud to have on his arm.
I'd never really cared about clothes before.
Or lingerie.
Suddenly I wanted to be draped in black lace.
That would be a whole new experience, but the old sweats and cami's had to go. You never knew who'd you'd run into on that tiny landing.
Well, okay, maybe just the only other person who shared that shower room but he was the only one I'd wear lingerie for anyway.
It seemed a shopping trip would be necessary after all.
Today was Saturday, so I had two days grace before fronting up at college so I decided I would use that time well. Hit the shops and max out the plastic.
Marcus had approved a rather generous general living expenses limit and I'd dismissed the idea of using it before for anything apart from emergencies, even though he'd told me to 'buy something pretty'.
I'd also never touched Mom's 'guilt money' in the account she set up for me when I was a child. It has a pretty healthy total now.
I had never touched it because I didn't want her money, only her love, but whatever. Time to put that cash to good use. I could be a college student with generous parents.
Firstly though, it was my turn to clean the kitchen.
A trial by fire as they say.
The morning clean seemed to also be the only clean up this room saw each day so I had to unstack the clean dishes from the dishwasher, wipe down countertops and table, put away various containers, and gather up the used dishes that were supposed to be neatly scraped and stacked on the sink.
Four sets were but the others were scattered around the sitting and tv rooms, so I hunted them down. Obviously some of the dishes I found had been left for days and the food remnants were crusted on drily.
I was walking back to the kitchen with my arms loaded when Jade appeared.
"Bella, don't go picking up after the guys or they'll expect you to do it every day. The 'kitchen bitch' only has to put the dishes that are stacked on the draining board into the machine. Anyone who leaves their plates and coffee cups scattered elsewhere has to retrieve and wash them themselves."
"How's that working out?" I asked with a grin and she scowled.
"Okay, maybe Alex and Benjamin like living like pigs but our policy has been to ignore it until they have no clean plates or mugs left, then they are forced to clean up."
"That's fine. In future I'll stick to your rules but I've already gathered everything up now and this way there will be a full load," I replied, making for the sink to attempt to grind some of the leftover grunge from a couple of green plates.
"Green. That's Laurent. Great, he's crossed over to the dark side. He used to be dependable, at least when it came to cleaning up after himself. I sometimes wonder why we let men live here with us."
Siobhan walked in, yawning.
"Because they are a captive audience for you, Jade and this house is your preferred hunting ground. She likes her bedmates on tap," she grinned behind Jade's back.
"For someone who doesn't even know who the father of her spawn is, I'd watch my mouth," Jade replied harshly. "Who's calling who a skank here?"
Siobhan turned and left the room again and I sighed. I'd kind of hoped my home from home would be harmonious and drama free. Apparently not.
Jade watched me clean from her vantage point at the kitchen table and dropped her head into her hands.
"It's your job to set up the coffee machine as well. You should have done that first before playing domestic Goddess."
"Oh, okay, not a problem. I'll remember next time."
I looked at the coffee machine and girded my loins.
It was old and heavy and probably quite grumpy, I decided. The thing I hate about these machines is that they are all different.
However, I was a college graduate and this beast would not intimidate me. I filled the water well and surveyed the other openings.
Obviously it wasn't modern enough to take those cool little pods of coffee and be simple to use, but gradually I worked it out. The grinder was right beside it, and in ten minutes I had a steaming pot of coffee ready.
By then, the kitchen was crowded as the others got their morning jollies watching me trying to tame the beast.
Edward came in last and took a blue coffee mug from the shelf. Good to know. Edward is blue.
Jade transformed from tired and grumpy to tousled and alluring the second he entered the room, and I read her like a book. So she had set her cap at my Edward. Good luck with that.
Once upon a time she would have been exactly what he was looking for to fill his bed for a night or two. Before he decided he wanted more than a roll in the hay, and that he preferred brunettes.
It seemed like a lifetime ago.
What we had may not have been perfect but it had been the first real relationship either of us had been in for years so maybe it had to fall apart so something better could happen.
"So Edwardo, how are you liking living here,?" Jade purred, pushing her chair closer to his. "I hope I've made you feel really welcome."
Predator and unwilling prey.
She put an elbow on the tabletop and rested her head in her hand , right in his face, leaning in front of him and shaking her long blonde hair out, messing it casually with her other hand.
The strong stench of her perfume filled the room and he coughed.
Sorry, chicky babe, Edward prefers to inhale something subtle with just a gentle hint of flowers, not an entire bottle of Cheap And Available by An Almost Celebrity.
Edward pushed his chair back from the table, creating a gap between them and crossed his arms. I smirked to myself. He was pretty fussy about who he let into his personal space and it seemed Jade had not made the grade.
Just then his cell buzzed and he looked gratefully at it as he answered and wandered outside onto the sun porch. It only gave the illusion of privacy, we could still hear every word of his side of the conversation.
"Hi Mom. Fine. Yep, I've gotten my classes sorted. Yeah, it's not a heavy load. Just a few revision classes. Yes, I'm doing Music as well to pass the time. Yes, teaching it, not learning," he laughed.
I knew he was better than Rick Blaine when it came to playing the piano and I smiled, then suddenly realized Rick had never played the piano, it was Sam. How could I have forgotten that?
Maybe I'd morphed Edward into a compilation of the two men. He had Rick's ruggedly handsome looks and Sam's ability to coax the most wonderful music from any piano he encountered.
That was typical of me, always wanting more qualities than most men possessed all in the one perfect specimen. Edward wasn't perfect, but neither was I. We'd both made mistakes and they'd been pretty bad but not unforgivable.
I hoped.
"Everyone's been very welcoming. And guess what? There's a girl here who has caught my eye."
Jade smiled and nodded, confident he was referring to her.
Siobhan rolled her eyes.
"She's lovely. Just my type. Yes, I do realize what you hoped would happen but sometimes you just have to leave the past behind and start afresh. Move on."
Jade buffed her fingernails with a paper napkin and licked her lips.
"No, Mom, I won't be bringing her home to face the Cullen Inquisition until I at least ask her out on a few dates, so you will have to wait. I have to go, I smell coffee. Bye. Love you."
"Oh God, don't you just love a man who loves his mother and isn't shy to admit it," Jade said quietly. She seemed more than lustful. Maybe she was smitten already. It did happen.
Edward came back and took the coffee I'd made him and stood, leaning against the sink rather than sitting down in Jade's spiderweb.
"So, Bella. I was wondering if you'd like me to show you around the town today. There are a few okay shops. A couple of them are just your cup of tea. I'm sure you'd like to see what's where for future reference."
"That would be nice," I answered and caught a death glare from Jade. Her eyes flicked back and forth, from Edward to me.
"I'm picking up something here," she said out loud, her forehead crinkling. "Do you two know one another already?"
"Sure," Edward replied. "Bella's a family friend. Her bff is married to my younger brother. I saw her at their wedding last month."
"Oh, right. So, you're like cousins or something," she said, reassured.
"We are certainly something," Edward agreed. "Bella has known my whole family for years."
"So, you have a brother who is married. Any other siblings?" she purred.
"I have an older brother who will be getting married soon I imagine, one way or the other. Probably a shotgun wedding, the way he and his fiancee carry on."
I cringed inside. There was no way that was Emmett's child she had terminated. It had to be Aro's and I didn't blame her at all for feeling she had no other options. I wondered if anyone else knew? I would never tell.
"And you are single yourself?" Jade was asking. "I haven't seen you with anyone since you got here."
"I'm single but unavailable," Edward answered, looking into my eyes. I broke the connection and looked away. This time we were playing by the rules and sadly the rulebook didn't have a chapter on throwing him to the floor and jumping him in front of everyone, just to mark my territory.
"That's going to change to 'well and truly taken' really soon. I know who my soul mate is and I will do whatever it takes to be back with her."
Jade sighed then shot me a 'see, you can't have him either' glance.
He turned to face me.
"We can use my car. I've seen yours. You must have really seriously annoyed your father to end up with a heap of junk like that."
"Oh, Daddy is very pissed off at me at the moment," I agreed. If Marcus was my actual father I'd probably be under house arrest in my bedroom when not actually at class. Probably with an armed babysitter at my side to make sure I had no fun whatsoever.
"Not without good reason," I conceded.
"Everyone fucks up now and again. The important thing is to learn from those mistakes and not let them ruin lives. Maybe it's time everyone let go of the past and started fresh," he replied. "Time to forgive and forget. Can you be ready to leave in an hour?"
"I can be ready in ten minutes," I answered.
Jade was clearly confused about what exactly we were to one another. With luck one day soon there would be no doubt whatsoever.
xxxx
"So, what do you want to buy today?" he asked as we sped into town in his sensible silver Volvo.
"Clothing. The stuff I brought with me doesn't feel right now."
He grinned and I looked at the passing scenery out of the side window.
"What's going to happen?" I asked quietly.
"We are going to become firm friends again, and then, when we regain the trust we both lost in one another, then Bella, I want us to be all we can be. And you know even though we got things wrong , what we shared was special and incredible so this time it will be perfect."
"So we are taking it slow and behaving," I stated.
"By behaving, you mean abstaining. I think we should. Much as I want that connection back, this time I want it to happen gradually. I think we will know when the time comes to resurrect our love making. What do you want?"
"I want the same. Of course I want the same. I want us back in a forever way."
I knew his way would be the right way but my body didn't agree. It wanted him now.
"It won't be easy, knowing how close you are. Knowing your bed is twenty foot away from mine with two thin partition walls between us."
"Mmm," I replied.
Bloody walls. Why hadn't they left the attic as it had been built, just one big open space? It sounded like the two flimsy walls had not kept the last two occupants apart.
I trusted Edward but not myself so much. Maybe I needed a deadlock on my door that could only be opened from the outside.
"I was really stupid and I risked everything. I'm just glad you are going to give me another chance," I said hurriedly.
"Ditto, I knew I'd done the wrong thing walking away the moment I got onto the plane. But I think we both benefitted from that time apart, if only because it meant we couldn't say out loud the terrible things we were thinking. Some words you just can't erase or take back and I was pretty mad at you. I know it went both ways so I'm glad we were apart and didn't say anything unforgivable."
"So now we've let it go?"
"Clean slate. We don't need to keep rehashing it, we both know where we went wrong and I know you will try just as hard as I will to get it right this time. There's just no way we were meant to breakup permanently over it. It's too late. It's like our book is already half written and we can't just rip out the pages and pretend they never existed. Our story will have a happy ending."
"This time I know what I want," I admitted. "When I thought I'd lost you forever, I realized I'd lost the future we had planned as well, and I knew then just how much I really did want that future. I truly do want us to get married and have kids. All my doubts about that are gone."
"Then we achieved something good already," he replied with a smile. "Now we are both on the same page. That gives us a stronger beginning, seeing we both want the same ending."
"Thank you, Edward."
"Thank you, my Bella."
Shopping was fun but it did remind me of the fortune he had lost buying us from Aro. I know he said he didn't care but still I felt terrible that I'd made him toss away his money like that, when it had been completely avoidable. If I hadn't been there, Aro would have eventually let Rose leave the castle again, and she could have hopped onto a plane and got out of there.
And Edward wouldn't have had to risk his own life coming in after me.
If Aro had managed to find out Edward Anthony Masen didn't really exist...
I tried to apologize, clumsily.
Edward took my hands across the table in the restaurant we were sitting in, waiting for our lunch.
"Bella, on the bright side, I was able to rescue Bree from a horrible future and that makes it all okay. You know I'd never begrudge one penny I had to pay to get you back. All the money in the world wouldn't keep me warm in bed at night if I didn't have you."
"But Marcus said you were bankrupt."
Edward laughed.
"Nobody with a billionaire father is ever going to be bankrupt for long. Carlisle probably found a way to write it off as a tax loss."
"So, you aren't a struggling college student."
"No, I'm merely a little less wealthy than I was before. The money is not a concern. Forget it."
I guess he and I have such different standards. At best I could possibly get together a ten grand loan, seeing I couldn't just snap my fingers and get a mortgage on my apartment,:and paying it back would leave me in financial difficulties for a long time.
Years.
I had no real idea how much he had paid and I would never ask because it would just make me wonder if I'd been worth it.
After lunch we shopped more diligently, and Edward picked out a couple of shirts for himself while I tried on floaty white dresses that screamed to me of romance and fields full of wildflowers, and laying in Edward's arms while he kissed my face. I could almost see the butterflies around me as I twisted and turned so the skirt section twirled out. I looked at my image in the mirror and smiled.
The black bags under my eyes that I'd accepted as a new facial feature were fading and my sallow skin was still pale but now it looked more creamy white than grey. Edward was good for me.
Mentally and physically I had changed in his absence and only now was I blossoming again. I'd learned my lesson. I'd never ever put him through anything like that again.
He'd left me, but I'd given him plenty of reason to leave. He'd tried to save himself when he realized my biggest enemy was myself, so buying me back from Aro had only removed one threat.
There was still me, waiting to fuck everything up, so from now on I had to think and rethink before jumping off a cliff. I'd possibly still jump, but next time I'd make sure I had a parachute.
And a lifeboat waiting below.
Edward should not always have to be there to break my fall.
I chose a dozen dresses and was rehanging the rejects on hangers when my cubicle door opened and Edward handed me a cornflower blue cotton shirt.
"Try this on, please."
"Um, it's a man's shirt in your size, not mine."
"I just want to see what you'll look like in it."
"Okay," I said, giving in.
With only my lace bra and boyleg panties on under it, apparently Edward thought it was a good look.
"Not that I didn't love the outfit you had on when we met on the landing," he added, taking the dresses I'd chosen and his shirt away with him as I redressed in my own clothes.
What had I been wearing? I tried to recall.
"Oh, the bath towel," I remembered.
"It was very nice. That colour suited you. It was little skimpy but that's always a good look on you."
He kissed the top of my head as we waited for the salesperson to bag our purchases and that led me to wonder what the new rules would be. No sex, dammit, but surely we would kiss.
I was finding it very hard living without his kisses.
For the whole afternoon, we explored amazing little shops tucked away in surprising locations. Edward knew me so well. We bought little knick knacks for one another and he even let me put a brightly coloured striped hippie hair wrap over his golden hair.
When we got back to the house, Jade looked us over warily.
"You two have been gone for hours. I kept your dinner in the oven."
"We ate already. Sorry, I should have called," I replied.
Edward laughed and took my hand, leading up the staircases.
At the tiny landing between our doors, he took my face into his hands and kissed me gently, lightly, on the lips.
"Goodnight, Bella. See you in the morning. We could go explore the local area if you want."
"I'd like that, " I replied, slipping inside my own door and closing it as he closed his. I leaned against it and tried to slow my breathing. I already knew I sucked at celibacy. Kissing him was going to make things that much harder.
xxxx
Midnight, more or less, I woke up and wondered where I was and what was happening. I could hear Edward calling out.
I quickly oriented myself and went to my door, pulling it open. His door wasn't locked, so I took a chance and went inside.
Edward was asleep, but thrashing around on his bed, fighting off some unseen attacker.
"How could you have done that to her? She'll never be whole again. This will change her; she won't be my Bella again," he howled. "She's broken."
I sank down beside him and pulled him against my body.
"Edward, wake up. I'm here. I'm safe. You saved me."
He opened his tear filled eyes and looked blindly at me.
"Bella? Aro didn't hurt you? You are okay? He didn't force himself on you? He didn't rape you?"
I swallowed and shook my head.
"No, Edward. You saved me in time."
"I did? I saved you?"
I snuggled against him and he put his arms around me and kissed my forehead.
"Bella's safe. I saved her."
I don't think he even really woke up, but he held me so tightly in his embrace I could barely breathe and I had to wriggle around so he'd loosen his grip.
His breathing calmed and he slept happily now, so I just lay there in the dark thinking about what I'd put him through.
I remembered how I felt when he was shot, and shuddered.
This had been so much worse.
The man was dreaming that Aro had raped me, for God's sake.
I'd put myself into the hands of a monster and thanks to Edward I'd walked away unharmed, but it had scarred him.
Now it was my job to make him better.
I wondered just how I would manage that, and kissed his jawline, all that was in my reach.
xxxx
The next morning I watched Edward wake up and realize I was tucked up in his bed with him.
"Okay," he said, his eyes narrowed as he propped himself up on one elbow. " What happened last night? We weren't even drinking. Just wine with dinner. I thought we decided not to move so fast this time. What's going on?"
"You had a nightmare. I didn't molest any part of your person," I swore. "Your door was unlocked and there was no way I could sleep through the racket you were making so I came to calm you down. That's all."
"I'm sorry. Esme told me I was doing that. Night terrors or something. Most sufferers are children but I guess some of us never completely grow up. Sorry for disturbing you."
"I am quite happy to sleep in here any time you need me," I replied, kissing his mouth in much the same way as he had kissed mine last night.
His hands stroked down my back, across my shoulders and he hummed a little.
Then he started to pull me in closer, tightening his arms around me.
"Hey, I have kitchen duty again. Come down in five for a coffee."
I wriggled from his arms and jumped out of his bed, then went into my own room to change.
Rules were rules.
If behaving ourselves would reward us in the long run, then we had to do it.
I threw on yesterdays jeans and hoodie and hit the stairs.