It's Murder Sequel
Chapter 5
BPOV
My first thought on waking was "My God, what have we done?"
I knew full well what last night's activities had been, and my body ached in a delicious way, so ecstatic that Edward had spent many hours making love to me.
Real, proper love.
Full sex.
That wasn't the part that was on my mind.
I rolled over and caught Edward's gaze as he smirked at me.
"We really did it, didn't we?" I said in awe.
"We did. And it was so worth the waiting."
He took my left hand and flattened it against his own, palms touching together, and I grinned at our new jewellery.
We were each wearing shiny gold wedding rings.
"My Mom is going to kill us," he laughed. "Cheating her out of a wedding."
"And don't think Rachel and Rebecca will take it quietly," I reminded him. "They have those dresses, remember?"
"Bella, you don't regret marrying me yesterday with nobody but Siobhan and Laurent as witnesses, do you?"
"And Laird," I reminded him. Laird had been an important part of the ceremony. He had handed over the rings,more or less. At six months old, everything went straight into his mouth but his Mom had managed to prevent him trying to consume our wedding bands.
"How could I ever regret marrying you, Edward? You are the most important person in my life and our wedding was perfect because you were there beside me."
"We can have a full wedding ceremony bit later if you want...what am I saying? We will have no choice other than to have the full shebang sometime later. Alice and Esme will insist."
"That's fine. Are we going to tell them what gave us the final push to tie the knot?" I laughed.
Edward grinned and threw the sheet that covered us to one side, and stroked his fingers down my body.
"You are not going to tell everyone I blackmailed you to get you into the Registry Office, are you?"
"What else would you call it? Refusing to let us make love until I became Mrs Edward Cullen. If that's not blackmail, what is?"
"Actually, I'm surprised you held out so long. I had figured six weeks maybe, never six months."
"See, I can control my reckless impulses," I replied with mock dignity.
All those months of stopping short of actual penetration. All those 'discussions' about what actual full sex was...yeah, he had blackmailed me but I had been so ready.
For both marriage and making love.
"So, I hope the honeymoon isn't over yet?" he said in dismay as I jumped out of bed.
"Our honeymoon will go on forever," I assured him as I looked for something clean to wear. "But I have kitchen duty this morning and I can hear my other boyfriend calling me. See ya, Cullen. It's been fun but someone a whole lot cuter needs my attention."
"Oh that's real nice," he growled, getting out of bed and grabbing my hands. "We need to shower. If you are preparing food, then we need to wash you off first. I do not believe there is a single inch of skin I didn't sully last night."
"Bad Edward," I laughed as he pulled me under the water with him.
His eyes shone as he stopped laughing and turned serious.
"I love you, Bella Cullen, with all my heart and soul. I am forever in your power. You may treat me however you wish. I do know I am completely unworthy, but I treasure that you love me anyway."
"How could I not love you?" I replied. "You hold my heart in your hands. We will never be apart again, ever."
"I promise you that, sincerely. If ever we fall out again, I swear to stay and work things out because you are my life now. I have to treat you like the Goddess you are."
I may have resolved all my issues, but Edward still feels guilty for leaving.
Many times we have discussed it from every angle and he still hates that he added to my insecurities by walking away that time. No matter that it achieved what he intended it to.
I refuse to let anything mar our happiness, so I just pushed my breasts against him and blanked his mind.
His eyes darken as he pulls me closer.
I guess breakfast can wait another ten minutes.
"I can't believe you think I will be finished with you in ten minutes," Edward growled against my throat.
I really have to buy myself a filter to stop my mouth saying what I'm thinking.
xxxx
Laird was wide awake and balancing against the side of the crib so he could stand up and reach for me. I kissed his chubby little hands and lifted him into my arms.
"Be just wet," I prayed out loud. Messy diaper changes before making breakfast was not the pleasure you might think.
Luckily he was just damp so no drama.
I plopped him into his highchair and washed my hands at the kitchen sink.
"So, what would Sir like for breakfast today? Let's see what's on the menu. We have oatmeal, or oatmeal with stewed fruit, or oatmeal with mashed banana? Sir chooses the oatmeal? An excellent choice, may I say?"
I paused and set Edward's state of the art coffee machine so the grown ups wouldn't whinge just because the smallest member of the household always got attention before they did. He got to eat first, always.
They were big and ugly enough to look after themselves, but he was just too adorable for words.
I sat in front of him and spooned the cereal into his gaping mouth.
Laird is a boy after my own heart. You never have to resort to 'here comes the airplane, open wide' crap. He just loves to eat.
I wiped his mouth when the bowl was empty, and smoothed his bedhair down.
"Well, you certainly surprised us all with this afro," I joked. To Siobhan's delight, his wispy blonde hair had fallen out and it seemed like overnight, he'd sprouted Laurents thick black curls.
We were all in agreement that he should have dreads from the start. How cute would he look flipping them around when he was just getting old enough to walk?
It was good that he was Laurent's child but it hadn't really mattered. By the time the change of hair occurred, his Mom and biological father were a couple anyway.
Laird would never know there had ever been any other contender, I hoped.
Edward and I had been witnesses at their wedding, so it had seemed right to ask them to do the same for us.
I had no doubt Edward had taken advantage of my emotional response to sharing the joy of their nuptials to suggest maybe we could do this ourselves, one day?
Next weekend?
I had agreed immediately.
The days when I doubted we were really meant to be together were long behind. I didn't tell him but I would have married him months ago.
And not only so he would make love to me again.
That had been entirely within my own power to change if I'd so chosen.
Edward's a man and had I ever whispered in his ear as he stroked my body "Oh go on, just do it, just come inside me again," he would have forgotten all his principles and ideals in a flash.
But over time, I'd become the one who wanted to wait.
I liked the idea of waiting until after the 'I do's' this time, and doing it right.
Our courtship had been amazing, and I now could see why people did chose to wait, in decades gone by.
Though there was always the worry you'd be completely sexually incompatible. God, what if we had married while still both virgins and I'd had to accommodate that monster in his pants without having been 'broken in' first?
That sure would have put a damper on the honeymoon.
All in all, we had both fucked up quite a bit in our earlier lives, but now we were truly perfect and knowing nobody else would ever touch me thrilled me.
The idea of only ever being with Edward until the day we died was amazing, and not daunting at all.
"Now you and I have to get to work and convince Uncle Edward that you need a little friend to play with," I cooed at Laird as I lifted him free from his chair and sat him in his playpen.
In a few short months our first year of reconciliation would be up, and I hoped against hope that Edward remembered his promise.
I wanted to be round and fat and pregnant.
Though not too fat.
My height kind of meant if I got as large as Siobhan had, I'd be pretty much as wide as I was tall. Kind of like a beachball.
Curiosity got the better of me and I picked up a scatter cushion and forced it up inside my Tshirt, pulling my sweats up over it. I tapped my fingers against my new abdomen and looked at myself in the full length mirror on the wall.
Jade could not bear to enter any room that lacked a mirror, but suddenly I was grateful for that. I could hardly do this upstairs, in front of my husband.
"Wow, I guess the honeymoon night was a complete success, then," Laurent laughed, walking out and standing at my side.
He placed his hand on my 'bump'.
"Whoa, this is very strange. I can usually tell what gender a baby is just by feeling the mom's belly, but all I'm getting is an image of Spongebob Squarepants. I think your baby is made of foam rubber ."
I laughed and slapped at him and he eased the cushion from my clothing.
"There, now we are even. Edward delivered my son, now I've delivered his. Wait, I think the pink gingham cushion cover might mean it's a girl. Congratulations."
He cradled the pillow in his arms and knelt down beside his son.
"Gently, Laird. This is Bella's newborn. Be nice."
Laird reached out through the bars and slapped at the bundle in his Father's arms.
"Remind me to keep my daughter at a safe distance from your son," I joked as I poured the coffee. The aroma would prompt everybody from their beds. It never failed.
Edward walked silently downstairs and came to my side putting his arms around me, kissing my neck.
"Congratulations, by the way," Laurent laughed, tossing the cushion at us. My husband caught it in his hands and frowned.
"It's our daughter," I explained, taking it from him and handing him his blue mug. I tossed the cushion back towards the soda and it landed on the floor.
"Bella, you are such a bad mother," Laurent snickered, rescuing our 'child' and checking it for injuries. He placed it gently on the couch. "Don't worry, I'll alert Social Services. We won't stand by and let her abuse you. Pillow abuse is rife in America today, did you know that?"
Edward shook his head, laughing and sat down.
"Bella will be an awesome Mom, just you wait and see."
I would.
I hoped I would.
I would become an 'Esme' not a 'Renee'.
"So, what did we name our daughter?" he asked.
"Um, let's see. 'Bella Notte Linens', it would seem," Laurent replied, reading the tag. "Figures she'd name the kid after herself."
"We most certainly will be naming our beautiful daughter after her beautiful mother," Edward stated, taking my hand as I sat down beside him.
"No way. One Isabella Marie is enough for this world," I argued. "I shall name her Edwina. Or Edyl? Or Edlyn. Or Edwarda."
"And that is why the Name Police will be handing me the Birth Registration form," my husband replied. "Her name shall be Kristabelle. I decided that a long time ago."
"You don't think we should name her after your Mom? She's going to be a tiny bit pissed off about us eloping and all, maybe we should try and make amends when we do have a baby."
"I think I should get to name our daughter and you should name our son," Edward replied.
"Okay," I immediately agreed. When you have two extremely stubborn people in a marriage it probably pays to make a compromise like this from the start, or else 'Kristabelle/Edwina' would be at High School before she got an official name.
And now I could name our son 'Edward' and he couldn't fight it.
I do sometimes think of naming him 'Masen' in tribute to the man who rescued me in my time of direst need, but then, that name might just remind everyone of things better forgotten.
"So," said Siobhan, sinking into the chair beside Laurent and grabbing her coffee mug," Any news on Emmett and Rose's baby progress?"
Rose was, in my opinion, being ridiculous.
She was refusing to marry Emmett until she conceived.
We were all sure he wanted her, first and foremost, and much as he did want children, he would never cast her aside if she couldn't give him any.
Anyway, lots of people got married without knowing if they could give their partner a child. In reality, neither Edward nor I had any idea if we were fertile. For all we knew our lives would just be about us sharing ourselves with one another.
We had Tommy and Josette, Alice and Jasper's kids.
Josette had entered the world surrounded by much drama, as she arrived a little ahead of schedule, but she was doing fine.
"Just like Alice's kid wanting all the limelight," Rose had sighed.
"Like yours won't?" I'd pointed out.
Rose was seriously worried. She wanted me to invite her to San Francisco for a week of female bonding and shopping, as a cover for the fact she had booked appointments with the doctor her research indicated was the best fertility expert in the country.
I agreed of course, but Edward was loathe to let me out of his sight for an entire week. Okay, I admit didn't want to go without him either, but until Rose agreed to confide in him, my hands were tied. I couldn't lie to him, so she had to let me tell him the real reason for our trip, or he'd argue until the cows came home.
"Think of the Devil and she shall appear," I joked as my cell lit up and Rose's name appeared on the screen.
I excused myself and went out onto the porch.
"You can tell Edward."
"I can? Maybe you could tell him yourself," I replied.
"Fine. Whatever. Put him on."
I could tell by her voice that this month had been another disappointment. She'd been slightly overdue, but of course, Rose had hoped even being a day late meant good news at last.
I signalled through the window for Edward to come out onto the sun porch and handed him my cell, then kissed his cheek before returning indoors to get the bread toasting and the eggs scrambling.
We were all eating when he rejoined us. He sat down beside me and squeezed my hand.
"So, does this mean Rose and I are off on a road trip?" I queried.
"We are on break next week, I agreed to be your chauffeur. You know both you and Rose will be too busy looking for hot guys in every city we pass through to drive carefully."
This was Edward's joke, and it had come about because in my sleep, I had apparently discussed the hotness factor of several actors and compared them to him.
And I'd decided he was definitely the hottest.
He'd figured where my monologue was headed and had videoed the whole thing on his phone, so whenever I saw some pretty actor on tv, he would play the part where I breathlessly admitted Edward was the prettiest of them all.
"Yeah, well, just remember, I have never traveled much. For all I know this country could actually hold a whole bunch of guys who are prettier than you," I joked, and copped a slap on my behind as I stood up and started collecting empty dishes.
Somehow over time, I'd become the more or less permanent kitchen bitch.
It did excuse me from doing any other household chores, so I thought it a fair trade. Edward cleaned our tub and bathroom and did our laundry, but our bedroom never needed more than a sweeping and mopping once a week because he was so anal about keeping it tidy at all times.
Such a clean freak.
Even my rusty old heap got washed and polished and detailed inside every weekend, because Edward just preferred it that way.
Mostly we went everywhere in his car, so I didn't quite get why he was so determined to give the heap a weekly spa session, but why would I argue? We both chose our battles very carefully and let anything that wasn't important just glide by.
We had early classes today so Edward was dressed and ready to go when I got back upstairs and my clothing of the day was neatly laying out on top of our neatly made bed.
As was often the case, there was a small, prettily wrapped gift sitting on my pillow. I smiled at Edward and reached for it.
"Get dressed first," he suggested, helping me off with my T shirt and jeans and assisting me into my college clothes.
He did hamper my progress a little by massaging my breasts while I was busy trying to clip up my bra, but other than that, all he contributed was a warm wet mouth against my throat.
"Stop it. We have to go soon and anyway, I want my present," I moaned.
We sat side by side as I unpeeled the paper.
"Oh. Cool. Multivitamins," I said, disappointed. Usually it was a tiny scrap of lingerie, or his favourite panties, the ones with 'access', or something cute he'd noticed in a shop or on a market stall and bought for me.
"Prenatal multivitamins," he corrected me, and I got it.
"Does this mean..."
"It means you need to be in tip top shape so when the time comes for us to start trying, you will be chock full of all the necessary vitamins needed to give the pregnancy a good beginning."
"And that will be in..."
He laughed and pulled me down onto the bed, hovering above me.
"Like you don't know that date off by heart," he said, covering my neck with kisses and sucking my skin.
"Don't leave marks. I'm a respectable married woman now."
"Married maybe, respectable? That wasn't the first word that came into my mind last night when you were..."
"Right, Cullen, behave. Oh by the way, is this the first time you have messed around with a married woman? Just asking," I joked.
He stilled and looked deeply into my eyes.
"Actually, to my knowledge, it is. And from now on I will only ever mess with a woman who wears a gold ring on her left hand. So, live with it."
He sighed as his alarm signaled it was time we were leaving, and jumped off me, heading for the door.
"Wait," I called, unpeeling the tamper resistant binding and shaking out a capsule. I swallowed it down with water from the ever present bottles beside the bed, and followed him out.
"Okay, explain," he said as he pulled the car out of the driveway onto the street. "Why would Rose be seeing a fertility specialist when she and Emmett have only be fooling around with a purpose for a few months? It takes an average healthy couple up to a year to conceive, if they have no problems at all. So why is she assuming something is wrong already?"
"What did she tell you?" I hedged.
"Just that they are eager to marry and as she has one condition to fulfil before she can do that, she wants to begin investigations right away. Just in case. I mean, it's just silly and waste of resources. Why tie up some specialist appointment that a woman who knows she has issues with her fertility could have instead?"
"I just need to call Rose," I replied.
She answered on the first ring, so it was obvious she had been expecting my call.
"You can go with full disclosure. I've told Emmett."
"How did he react?" I asked,concerned. Emmett is a great guy and I love him dearly but he has a certain fixed attitude about some things, and abortion was one of them. He'd said more than once that the only acceptable reason to do that was to save the mother's life.
He lived in a black and white world and this was such a grey area.
It was easy to have an opinion one way or the other but until it was you in the situation, you really do not know how you would choose.
Rose had never been a fan herself, but it had not been her fault the way things had gone down and ended with her being in that clinic.
"He was disappointed in me. He said he would have been more than happy to accept the child and raise it as his own, but I could not have done that."
"I understand," I replied.
"What was I meant to do? Raise a child I would never love? Kids should be raised by parents who love them unconditionally and never be dismissed as collateral damage. I could never have loved that child."
"I get it, Rose," I replied testily. She could not think that I, collateral damage from my own parents marriage, didn't understand. Having a mother who really had zero interest in you hurt every single day of one's life.
At least I had not had to live in the same house as the woman who looked on me as simply a regrettable mistake. Despite her financial windfall, I knew without any doubt if Renee could turn back time, she would have prevented my conception.
"And the other so called option? Giving the kid up for adoption? How could I do that in good conscience? Imagine some poor couple, unable to have their own child, thinking they'd hit the jackpot when they were handed that...spawn of the devil. What if he grew up just like his Daddy? No, I had no choice. I'm quite sure I will pay for my 'sin' but so be it. I did the right thing...the only thing."
"I know," I sighed. "I'll tell him."
We were running late as it was so I managed to get edward to agree that, as this conversation would take some time, that we could delay it until lunchtime.
I pondered all through class about how to explain. How to make him see Rose had been unfairly put in a position she would never have put herself in if she had any control of the situation. She never took chances; never ever.
No matter how hot and desirable the guy, if he didn't wear a glove, then he didn't get to sample her goods. Blanket rule.
Deep down I knew what I was really worried about was Edward seeing the truth. That I had put Rose in that hellish position and the abortion was all my fault. If I'd obeyed orders,none of this would have been necessary.
He waved and smiled when he saw me walking towards him from the opposite direction as we converged at the cafe.
"The usual?" he asked, refusing the offered menu.
"Maybe just something light for me," I replied. "Just a soda and an apple."
I had no appetite but there was no way Edward would sit by and let me consume absolutely nothing.
He sat there waiting,reaching out to take my hand in his as the waitress fetched our orders.
"You look stressed. Relax. I have an idea about what you are going to tell me. I do know the most common reason for a woman Rose's age to be concerned prematurely about her fertility. I am an almost doctor, Bella."
His lunch was placed before him and he took my bottle of pop and opened it, handing it back to me. No lecture about the single piece of fruit on my plate, either.
"She got pregnant. The night before you showed up in the dungeon. She sacrificed herself to Aro so he wouldn't take me."
Edward pushed his plate aside and frowned.
"Aro intended taking you to his bedroom the night before?"
"Rose saved me. I didn't ask her to. She just figured she would be better able to withstand the abuse... and she jumped in and insisted he wasn't being fair, 'inviting' me to his room when he had never asked her. She was so proud of having avoided his clutches until that point... It was all my fault."
"And after Emmett and I left...you were with her at the clinic that time I called and you said something about being supportive to a friend who was doing something you wished she never had to do."
I nodded.
"And then she had those infections later."
"She did?" I asked him in surprise. "I knew she was ill the once. With a fever. And Esme and Emmett looked after her."
"She was ill several times. Carlisle was treating her for some recurring infection. I kind of assumed it was a sexually transmitted disease, actually, so I more or less pretended it wasn't happening. There but for the grace of God go I, I figured."
"So it may have done something bad to her? Made her unable to conceive?" I asked in horror.
"There's no point jumping to conclusions. She's seeing one of the best experts in the world. I can't imagine how Carlisle managed to get her an appointment this fast, actually."
"So, we are taking Rose to find out if what I brought about has cost her the ability to have a baby," I wailed.
xxxx
Emmett came with us of course, and although it was probably better that the we all knew the truth, it was still so hard.
Conversation was sparse.
Sometimes I sat shotgun with Edward driving,other times Rose and I shared the back seat and left the men to take turns.
Edward found us a nice place to stay while Rose was admitted into the clinic attached to the specialist rooms, so they could put her through a battery of tests that seemed to take hours.
Then we played tourists and spent a few days sightseeing while we waited for the results.
Emmett insisted on going in with her, while Edward and I sat in the waiting area.
We knew at a glance it was bad news, when they reappeared but nobody spoke until we were back in the hotel.
"Tell me," I pleaded.
Rose looked away, and tried not to cry.
"Rose will never conceive naturally, and even IVF is not an option, because her uterus was damaged by the infections. It would probably rupture if she did try and carry a baby," Emmett stated.
Edward took the written reports from his brother and read them.
"So, the only solution is a test tube baby carried by a surrogate. They could retrieve Rose's eggs and fertilize them with your sperm. It will still be genetically your child together, we just need to rent a womb."
"I want to do it," I said, surprising even myself. "I want to carry Rose's baby. I owe her that much."
Edward frowned, instantly, and shook his head.
"Bella, there are women out there who do this for a living. You have no idea what is involved. There are drugs that can have far reaching consequences to your health. There's the risk something could go wrong and cost you your ability to have babies of your own afterwards. You can't promise to do this without finding out everything that could go wrong."
"I still want to do it," I replied.
.