If on a Winter's Night

by Touchstone67

One fateful, winter's night, Edward and Jasper's lives are turned upside down. Is their relationship strong enough to withstand the aftermath, or will they be driven apart forever? Rated M for sexual situations, language. AH J/E slash

20. We Can Do It, Just Me and You

Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.

A/N-Again, there are some scenes in here from the previous chapter, but I tried to only highlight a few key parts of them where I felt it was important to hear Edward's thoughts, particularly dinner with his parents, and his ghostgasm

This chapter is unbeta'd, all mistakes, grammatical and otherwise, are mine. Thank you to everyone that has read, recommended, reviewed, and learned from these boys. Let's hope there is less FFnet fail with this chapter than there was with the last.

Special thanks to Dannie, who stuck by me for so long with this story, if it wasn't for her encouragement and faith in my writing, these boys wouldn't be here.

Now Edward pov

"**~~**"

If on a winter's night he hadn't been distracted by me…

"**~~**"

Jealousy.

I had never really considered myself the jealous type. In fact, I prided myself on being secure enough in my relationships that jealousy was never a factor. When I had been with Bella, I had no problem with her hanging out with other friends, even guys, and after meeting Jasper, I had encouraged Bella to go out with her friends even more. Looking back I realized that I sent Bella out with others so I could spend time alone with Jasper without feeling guilty about wanting to be with him. I also realized that I was never jealous over Bella being with other people because I didn't love her like a boyfriend was supposed to. Even when Newton had asked me about taking Bella out, the jealousy I had felt then was because I had grown use to her attention and the thought of not having it scared me. It was wrong, and I knew it, but it didn't stop me from feeling it.

The only time I had been jealous about Jasper was before we were even dating, before I knew he was gay. He had only been in Forks for about a month and he'd asked me to go the movies, but I had a date with Bella. Jasper smiled and said he would go with someone else, and he did.

Seth.

My stomach churned the entire time I was with Bella that night, and I didn't know why. I kept telling myself I was just eager to hang out with my new friend, and that the bile in my throat had nothing to do with the fact that he was out with another guy. I was confused and anxious the entire night, I lied to myself, and I lied to Bella. For some reason all I could focus on was that someone else was hearing Jasper's laugh as he told his stupid jokes, someone else was sitting next to him, feeling his warmth and seeing his blue eyes. I rushed through the date with Bella, brought her home and immediately called Jasper, feeling like I was going to throw up with each ring of his phone. It wasn't until he answered that I breathed a sigh of relief. It was only ten and he was already home.

The relief I felt when he answered left as soon as he told me he'd fun. The lump returned to my throat and my stomach twisted once again. When I hung up, I lay on my bed all night, not sleeping, but thinking about what it all meant. Why when I was out with my girlfriend was I thinking about another guy? Why did I care about what he was doing, I barely knew him? Why I was sick about Jasper hanging out with someone but it didn't bother me when Bella did the same thing?

It was that night that I began to think that Bella might not be the one for me, that the one for me might actually be my new friend.

Since that night, jealous hadn't been an issue for me, but it had for Jasper. He never hid his envy over the way Bella touched me, the freedom she had with me in public that he desperately longed for. No matter how many times I reminded him that it was him, not her, that I wanted, he would still look at me with green tinged eyes. The longer we were together, the less it affected him, but sometimes I still think he felt it.

And watching Jessica with him, I finally understood exactly how he had felt.

I wasn't jealous when Mike sat next to Bella and put his arm around her, I wasn't jealous when he brought out a cake, announcing Bella had baked it for him. But seeing Jessica's red dagger length fingernails caressing my boyfriend's jean clad thighs sparked a flame that coursed through me so bright that I thought I might out us both. Then she fucking reached up and pushed my boy's silky hair back and then her lips were at his ear.

"Why don't you take me upstairs, Jasper, and I'll show you a good time," she whispered loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Spare room is last one on the left," Mike offered.

"No thanks," Jasper replied quickly, leaning away from Jessica and toward me.

"Why not?" Mike asked. "You look like you could use it."

"Come on, I promise I'll make you feel real good," Jessica promised. My hands gripped the handrails, my white knuckles covered by the leather gloves.

"I already feel good, thanks," Jasper said, squirming away. "I said no."

"Just a kiss then?" she pouted. "I promise if you kiss me, I'll leave you alone."

Watching Jasper, I saw him considering her offer, but the more intently I watched him, the more I realized it wasn't because he wanted to kiss her, it was because he hoped she might actually keep her end of the deal. My jealousy was irrational, I knew better than to even think for a second that Jasper would be interested. In fact, I saw the panic on his face every time she moved closer.

"I…I…"

We were all staring at him, waiting for his answer.

Then my boy proved just how perfect he was.

"I could really go for a Fluffernutter sandwich," he blurted out as he stood up and practically ran for the kitchen. Everyone's eyes then fell on me, and as I held back a smile, I shrugged. The fire of jealousy that had been so present only seconds before was gone with just one word.

Fluffernutter.

When everyone started dancing, Jessica beckoned Jasper over to her with seductive sways of her hips. Jasper shook his head, he wasn't going to leave my side. It was me that he wanted to dance with. It was me he wanted to scoop up and hold.

And while I wanted to be scooped up and held, I really wanted to just dance. I wanted to put my hands on the armrests and push myself up and joined my friends, foolishly jumping and spinning around. Before the darkness could nip at my heels, winding up the metal of my chair, evilly reminding me that I would never be able to jump and dance like my friends, Jasper spoke.

"Not a single one of them has any rhythm. You ready to go?"

"Yeah."

After Jasper told Newton we were leaving, we headed outside, Jasper pulling down the steps backwards. We were in his truck, my jealousy long since faded, and I held his hand and rested my temple against the window. It was in the quiet cab by the light of dashboard that I began to let myself remember what had happened earlier that day.

When Jasper had shown up to pick me up for the party, I had been tempted to tell him I didn't want to go. Immediately, he offered me the out I wanted, and I knew he would gladly stay home with me, but as he kneeled in front of me, I heard the darkness in the corner, wafting and snickering around the supply table waiting for me to let it in. The bills had encouraged it, the realization I was the burden I had feared, that college, much less basketball, wasn't going to happen. The only thing in my life that had remained unchanged was in front me, tilting his hand and rubbing his thumb over my hand.

The Beatles were playing on the stereo, but I barely heard them as I stared out at the passing houses. It wasn't until we passed my street that I remembered Jasper had packed a bag for me.

"Jas?"

"A surprise."

"The last surprise didn't go so well."

"This one will."

"But my parents-"

"I cleared it with your dad. And my mom's home. Is this okay? The other day you mentioned you wanted to come over so I thought…"

It was okay, it was sweet and thoughtful, and it scared the shit out of me.

The darkness was near, I sensed it flittering about, waiting for Jasper to leave me alone to pounce on my weakened state. Jasper's bedroom was on the second floor, and I would have to stay in the living room…alone. Turning toward Jasper, I bit my lip. "Where will I sleep? I don't want to be alone," I confessed.

"Baby, I would never leave you alone. We're going to sleep in my room, like we always do."

"But the stairs?"

"I think I can handle them." Less than a minute later, he pulled into his driveway. "If you want me to take you home, I will. I just thought since you-"

Releasing his hand, I brought my finger to his lips. "I want to stay."

After a brief kiss, he got my chair out and helped me into it. I backed out of his way so he could get the duffle bag and then I turned toward the porch and stopped.

Instead of the six steps I was used to taking in two leaps, there was a ramp. It wasn't as fancy as the one that led into my house, there were no rails and it wasn't stained, but I'd never seen a more beautiful ramp. He'd made me ramp just so I wouldn't have to feel awkward about him pulling me up the steps like he had at Newton's. Just so I could feel the slightest bit more normal. Turning, I looked up at him and just melted. I went to speak, to thank him or say something, and nothing came out.

"It's not as nice as yours, and it's steep, but it should hold you," he said quietly.

Slowly, I pushed myself to the edge of the ramp, and then glanced at Jasper before rocking my chair forward. It was steeper than the one at my house, and it took some effort to make it up, but I did it, and at the top, I reached for his door.

It was a simple act, and one of complete normalcy.

By the time I had the door open, Jasper was by my side, and as soon as I entered his house, his mother was hugging me. She had always been nice to me, never treating me like a kid, but more like an adult, and as another son. When she asked how I felt and I said that it still sucked, she didn't answer with the typical 'It will get better', she answered with the honest, "Yeah, it sure does."

Jasper's dad was cheerful as always, constantly offering help on adjustments to my house if necessary. I saw both of his parents in Jasper, the persistence and generosity of his father, and the calm level headed thinking of his mother. They said good night and went to the living room while I went to the bottom of the stairs.

I hadn't remembered there being so many. "You sure you want to do this?"

"Yep. If it means I get you alone in my room, it's totally worth it," he said quietly.

Bending over, he slipped my arm under my knees in a practiced moved and I wrapped my arms around his neck. Straightening, Jasper lifted me and pushed my chair out of the way with his foot before taking the first step. Laying my head against his shoulder, I relaxed against him, letting him support me completely. Even though he was carrying an extra one hundred and eighty pounds of a flight of stairs, he wasn't winded at the top. He pushed his door open and for the first time since New Year's Eve I saw Jasper's room.

It hadn't changed. I swear the same clothes were still on the floor, his drawers were half opened, papers covered his desk, and there was a pile of dishes on the floor and books scattered across his bed.

"I see not much has changed. Maid's day off?"

"Cleaning isn't high on my priority list," he said, setting me on the bed. "Let me take care of some of this shit."

Then in a flurry of movement, he picked up laundry, straightened his desk, emptied his trash and brought the plates downstairs, returning with soda and brownies. He bounced on the bed next to me, an energy vibrating off him as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, but I told him I needed to use the bathroom. Grabbing a kit, he handed it to me before easily lifting me off the bed and walking across the hall to the bathroom. He went to leave after sitting me on the toilet, but I found myself telling him he didn't have to go.

With him watching, I went through the routine that had become second nature. My gloved hands inserted the tube and watched as piss started to flow. "Real sexy, huh?"

"Baby, pissing is never sexy no matter how anyone does it," he grinned as he brushed his teeth. He turned around to spit into the sink and I watched him perform the simple act. I finished up and then brushed my own teeth before he carried me back to his room. He handed me my clothes but they sat on my lap as I was transfixed him.

I think he asked me what I wanted to do, and I think I replied, but all I could concentrate on was his movements. The way he pulled his sweatshirt over his head, even the soft thud of his sneakers as he kicked them off. His tee shirt followed, revealing his defined muscles that I had mapped with my tongue many times. As I stared, he undid his jeans and let them fall down, stepping out of them and hooking his thumbs under the wide band of his briefs while he internally debated on going commando. He did all this without knowing I was staring, until he reached for his pants and caught me eyefucking him, my gaze obviously focused on his cock. Before I could tear my eyes away, he was kneeling in front of me, his hands quickly taking off my sneakers and socks. Instinctively, I lay back on the bed and undid my jeans, knowing he was going to lift me to pull them down. My jeans were on the floor and Jasper's fire blue eyes were on me, intense in their need but asking first.

Would I go commando with him.

"Not yet," I answered.

Instead of taking off my briefs, he placed a tender kiss on my thigh and I felt a spark ignite before stalling as soon as it attempted to breach that one spot where nerves still lived. Once my pajamas were on, I sat up and yanked off my sweatshirt, throwing it on the floor with the rest of our clothes. I went to move up on the bed, but his hand on my wrist stopped me.

"Take it off," he said motioning to my tee shirt. Holding his gaze, I did as he asked and dropped it to the floor. Flipping over, I dragged myself up to the pillows before moving onto my back and untwisting my deformed legs. My eyes darted to the corners of his room, relieved when I saw them empty of nothing but Jasper's furniture. When I looked back at Jasper, I realized he knew.

I had gone to a party and had blatantly admired him as he undressed, but none of it hid the turmoil that was wrenching through my heart like a vise. And even though I had done those things, he had known something was wrong the entire time, he had just been waiting until I was ready to tell him. When I had found the bills, I had considered calling Jasper and telling him right away. Then I remembered everything he was already doing for me. The bills were something I had decided to try not to worry him about.

I should have fucking known better.

He straddled me, his hands on my chest while my music surrounded us. He asked me what was wrong, I lied. Poorly. He reminded me that I had promised not to shut him out. Closing my eyes, I considered his words, each one said with nothing but love. There was no hint of frustration or anger or weariness, only the desire to help ease my pain. The battle of my new life was mine alone, it was one that I was going to face every day I woke up, it was one I wasn't sure I could make it through unscathed. I wasn't sure I would survive, sometimes I wasn't sure I wanted to. But in all those things I wasn't sure of, I was certain of one thing.

I could only fight the battle if he was by my side.

Without him, the battle would have been lost long ago.

Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes and began to invite him into my newest battle, hoping his armor was tough enough. In confusing, stuttered sentences I told him about the chair and how much it was going to cost. His answer was simple, my parents would get it for me, and that's when a tear slid down my cheek and I continued in shaky voice, telling him about bills I had found, about the guilt I felt for wanting to play basketball when there were thousands of dollars of bills sitting on my father's desk, I told him that college wasn't going to happen. He listened patiently, he asked questions, he assured me that I wasn't selfish, that I wasn't a burden. Even if I didn't believe him, I listened, and my battle became slightly easier each time he gave me a smile or threaded his long fingers through my hair.

"Fuck. But won't your dad's insurance pay for them?"

"Probably, but I don't know if they would pay for all. Even if they did, there's still the stuff they won't cover, like the stuff we did to the house. I can't go to my parents and ask for two thousand for the chair plus the money for fees and stuff for basketball when they've got those bills to pay. I…just can't." The tears began to flow more freely and he leaned forward, his forehead on mine.

"Sssh, babe, it's okay."

I wished it was. I really fucking wished it was.

"I want to believe that, Jasper. Sometimes I want to believe it so much, I actually feel it and it does seem okay, but then shit like this happens and no matter how much I believe it's okay, it doesn't seem like it ever will be."

"It will," his confidence unwavering. The optimism he'd always had shined through more powerfully than ever, even diming my realist's pessimistic attitude. My boy, the dreamer, so easily amazed me.

"But how? How can you be so fucking sure?" I asked him desperately, wanting to know his secret.

"Because I refuse to believe otherwise. We will get through this, you will get your chair and you will play basketball," he assured me in a hushed voice. "You want to play, right?"

"Yes," I sighed, swiping at my cheeks and drying them.

"Then you will. I will make sure you do. I won't let money stop you. We will figure something out. I promise, baby. Besides, I need to watch you play basketball as much as you need to play it."

I couldn't helped but smile, my lips still curled up when he brushed his over mine, kissing away my worry with his gentleness. Before I had realized what he was doing, I was kissing him back, my hands rubbing his thighs. I had been attracted to Jasper on some level since I'd first seen him, but it had taken months of getting to know him before our friendship had grown into love. Since then, I'd loved him a little more every day, sometimes for really simple shit, like remembering a towel to wipe off my wheelchair, or for the more amazing stuff like carrying me half way up a fucking mountain just to dance with me under the moonlight. No matter how small or grand the gesture, my love for him grew.

Part of that love was because of his generosity, but when he offered me the six hundred dollars he had saved up from working with his dad, I think my heart burst from the emotions that swelled inside it. My ribs hurt from the pressure as he did it so casually, as if there was nothing better to spend his money on.

"I can't take your money, love." My fingers were in his hair, the ends slipping through before I recaptured them again.

"You're not taking it, I'm giving it to you. Besides, I've got nothing to use it for."

"College?"

"Trust me, it's not enough to make a dent in a tuition."

"I've got some saved up too." It was only fair I offered mine as well. I had about three thousand saved for our apartment. We'd had done our research and had found out that we could rent an apartment off campus for about the same amount of money as room and board would cost on campus, and it was going to cost about eight thousand for the year. My parents had offered to split the cost fifty-fifty with us. I was only one thousand short of having enough.

"But you're saving for us to have an apartment. You can't use that. Even with my money, we still need about fourteen hundred. Maybe I can get an advance from my dad."

"Love…you…"

"Don't bother to say it, Edward. You know I won't listen anyway, it would just be a waste of energy."

I laughed, actually laughed, because he was fucking right, he wouldn't listen. Tilting his head, he stared at me, his eyes tracing every feature of my face. My heart stopped, literally stopped, for a beat under the heat of his gaze. I wondered how he saw through my flesh and bone inside to my soul so easily. There was so much I wanted to do right then, so much I wanted to say, but only three words came out.

"I love you."

"I love you too," he smiled. "Now tell me about the team. Are they nice?"

I rolled my eyes, surprised he still thought he could get away with such well worn techniques, but I answered his question, telling him about the other players. Then he asked about Riley.

"Riley. He's the captain, been playing a few years I think. He's a T-7 complete. Apparently, he was a really good mountain biker, like on his way to the pros and then had his accident. He was in a race and fell down the mountain, hit a rock."

"He's just like you."

"Hardly," I denied.

"He's about your age, excelled at his sport, had a future in it and now he's in a chair. Sounds a like you."

"Jasper, I know you were, um, preoccupied while you were there, but did you see him? I'm nothing like him. The way he handles himself and the chair is amazing. And if you had talked to him, you'd know he's nothing like me. He's just so…" I couldn't quite say what Riley was. His qualities went beyond his good looks and bright smile.

"What?" Jasper pushed.

"I don't know. Confident? Comfortable? There's just something about him. Trust me, he's nothing like me," I replied, stumbling for words.

"Babe, he's been in the chair longer. He's been able to adjust mentally and physically. Hell, your body is still healing."

"I won't ever be like he is though," I sighed.

"Mmmm, you're as buff as he is." Jasper squeezed my bicep for good measure.

Didn't notice anyone else my ass. I raised my brow. "I thought you didn't notice?"

"I might only have eyes for one boy, but I'm not blind," he admitted without shame and I couldn't help but smile and tug him down to me. His mouth covered mine and we moaned the second our tongues made contact, igniting the simmering under current that constantly flowed between us, touching or not. When we heard footsteps, Jasper stopped and I swear I heard his heart pounding. While he started at the door, fearing someone might walk in, I palmed his cock, feeling the slight thrust of his hips from my touch. With no underwear on, thin flannel was the only thing separating us as I ran my thumb over the wet spot darkening his pants.

"You're so hard," I moaned. His eyes remained on the door, but his concentration was on me and my touch. Knowing I still had that kind of power over him, that he still desired me in the most elemental way, excited me and I suddenly wanted so much more than to tease him. I wanted to see him, touch him, taste him. Bluntly, I asked him to jerk off for me.

It was no secret it was something I enjoyed watching him do, and had spent countless hours watching him do just that. The locations always differed, from the meadow to our rooms to my car, his dad's truck, even under the bleachers at a football game, but the way he got lost in himself for me never did. The glazed look in his ocean eyes, the half closed lids and parted lips, the tip of his tongue peeking out right before he came. Feeling bold, I told him to show me how hard he was, and seconds later, he did, fears about being caught long forgotten.

"Mmm yeah, fucking hot cock," I mumbled.

"I'm only gonna last about a minute with you talking like that." He took himself into his fist.

"The sooner I can taste your load. Stroke fast."

Furiously, his hand pumped his length, already dripping fluid onto me. Licking my lips, I watched his hand, the way he twisted it, the steady, but frantic pace he used, the way his hips bucked forward even though he tried to hold off. My eyes skimmed up his body, the shadowy indents of his muscles, the pebbled nipples, the slender collarbone and neck up to his eyes.

"I love watching you like this."

"Yeah?" His other hand left my chest and moved to his balls, where he tried to pull them down, hoping to delay his orgasm that had already begun to tease his groin. Arching his back, he cupped himself and displayed them for me. I growled at the sight, tempted to have him teabag me.

"What do you like watching, baby? What turns you on?"

"You. Everything about you," I whispered, my eyes darting between his face and his cock. "The way your abs flex, the way you lick your lips right before you come, your hair in your face, the scent of your cock and balls. The way only I know how they taste." My hands were on his hips, clutching him as he stroked. His hair fell in front of his face, and he habitually shook his head to move it, the movement so natural he didn't even realize he did it.

He was close.

Jasper was loud, he liked to scream and grunt and cry out when he came, and having to contain it was hard enough at my house when my parents were on a different floor much less in his house where his parents were less than ten feet away. I wanted to see my boy explode, I wanted to see him shudder and shake with the force of his climax, I wanted to see him lose control.

For me.

"Come on my face," and with one small demand, he did. Thrusting forward, he aimed his cock at my face and I closed my eyes, feeling the warm stripes land on my cheek and lips. My tongue snaked out to gather what it could to bring back into my mouth. Falling forward, he slammed his open palm against the wall as he continued to release on me until his cock finally emptied. Looking up, I saw his eyes clenched shut, his jaw tightened as he held off the screams threatening to break free.

He slid down me, leaning forward to clean me of himself, then sharing his taste with me as he dropped his weight onto me. He was heavy and solid and wonderful. Finally, he broke the kiss and cleaned himself off before climbing back into bed with me, rubbing the scruff that had grown on his jaw along mine until his lips were at my ear.

"I love you," he murmured.

My senses were heightened from watching him jerk off, and I couldn't stop the tremor that went through my shoulders. The need to touch him and kiss him suddenly overwhelmed me, even more than it had only moments before. Arousal surged through me, drugging me as I turned my head and captured his lips with mine in a heated kiss. It was clumsy with need as our noses bumped and teeth nipped at lips, tugging on them before tongues met again and again. One of my hands was in his hair, tangled tightly, while the other gripped his shoulder, my nails marking his skin. Tearing his mouth from mine, he nibbled down my neck and I released a loud, throaty moan. My skin was on fire, everywhere he touched burned and the rest tingled with anticipation. I maintained some control until he took my earlobe into his mouth. A violent shudder hit me, my upper body shaking and quivering as his tongue moved around the shell of my ear, his breaths hot and moist. Then his hand was in my hair, scratching my scalp and tugging on the tufts, and my back arched off the bed, my body seeking more of whatever he was offering.

"Feels so good," I groaned thickly. Before I realized he had left my ear, I felt him biting along my shoulder taking the newly hardened muscles between his teeth, then swiping over the love bites with his warm tongue. Every so fucking slowly he worked his way to my nipples, already sharp points and begging for attention. As soon as he flicked his tongue over them, I cried out, forcing his head to me with my hand and arching my back further. Jasper had certainly sucked my nipples before, even recently, but even that time didn't compare to this. The wetness from his tongue as it danced around my skin sent bolts of pleasure through me. Every sensation was more powerful than the last, my fingertips tingled, my skin seared, my lips burned, and my mind raced with one word.

More.

"Can I touch you, baby? Please."

I stilled. I had been so focused on what he had been doing above my waist that I hadn't even considered anything below it. "I don't…"

"You're hard."

Gulping, I dared to look down my chest to my cock and I saw Jasper's hand inside my pants, slightly moving under R2-D2. "I am?"

"Mmm, very. Feels so good. Please, baby. I need to feel you. I'll stop whenever you want me to," he promised in my ear ear.

Desire coursed through me, I wanted him to touch me.

I wanted to feel him touch me.

Nodding, I watched as his hand moved under my pants and he lifted my briefs and pajamas down over my erection. I still hadn't seen myself hard except for the time Jasper had straddled me, but I'd only seen the head between his thighs. But now my cock was hovering over my lower abs like it always did, the same size and swollen with need. Jasper laid his head on my chest and we both watched as he wrapped his fingers completely around me for the first time in months.

I couldn't feel a fucking thing, but it looked hot as hell.

"Fuck," I sighed as he pumped him once.

"Remember how it felt, baby?"

"Yeah."

His fingers were in my hair still tugging and fisting it when he returned his mouth to my ear, running his tongue around it. I felt drunk, the base of my neck tingled, and if I touched my skin I knew it would be scorching. I squirmed from his touch while craving more of it.

"You're beautiful like this, all fucking needy, so fucking hot. Watching you makes me hard."

"More," I begged, tilting my head, hoping he would accept the invitation to continue his path.

"Your cock is hard in my hand, pulsing. You smell so fucking good."

"More," I moaned.

"Someday, I'm going to taste you again. I'm going to suck you off while you watch."

"Fuck yeah…" That vision reeled through me forcefully, Jasper hollowing his cheeks as he sucked and watched me through his lashes. His thumb was on my lips, leaving a salty taste behind.

"That's your cum."

I opened my eyes and looked down at my cock again, just in time to see him stroking me hard and fast, just like he would have before. While I watched, he alternated his lips between my neck and ear, each time his tongue touched me, I arched my back off the bed. I think I was trembling. I heard him groan and saw him pumping me. Closing my eyes, I remembered a time when I had felt the tightness of each individual finger, the calluses on his palm from helping his dad as he dragged it up with each stroke, the ecstasy his touch always gave me. Then the tender skin of my neck was between his teeth and he bit down, marking me as he tugged on my hair.

And it hit me.

The tingling in my neck spread, traveling down my spine and arms, warming all of me in waves as the sensation crested over me. I felt every single thing, Jasper's wet tongue on my neck, his breath, even his fucking eyelashes as he opened his eyes to watch me. Grunting, I lifted my upper body off the bed, my abs clenching, forcing the tickling back up my stunted spine to my head and leave me breathless. It was like waking up from a wet dream, when you don't remember coming, but you sure fucking felt the aftermath of it with the cum stained underwear and the remains of your climax still fresh in your body. Panting, I collapsed onto the bed, my hand still clutching the blanket, and slowly opened my eyes to find Jasper watching, and still stroking, me.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I think so," I sighed.

"Did you…"

"I don't know. It was like…weird. I mean, at first, it just felt really good. Everything was really sensitive, but then when I saw you touching me, even though I couldn't feel it, the other stuff you were doing got even more intense. Then I closed my eyes I imagined you touching me like that before and what it felt like and how it felt to come. There was like this weird tickling in the back of my neck and it spread down my spine instead of up like before."

"Did it feel good?"

Turning to him, I smiled, feeling pretty fucking relaxed. "Yeah, it felt really fucking good."

"Jake said the brain is the largest sex organ, maybe when you saw me touching you, it triggered a memory and you kinda felt it again."

"I wish I could really feel it," I sighed.

"I know, babe, me too. Thank you for letting me touch you."

"Welcome. You can stop anytime ya know." I motioned to his hand still slowly stroking my erection.

"Do I have to?"

"Probably not a good idea to fall asleep with my cock in your hand."

"Probably right." He released me, and tucked my still hard cock back into my pants. I saw him glance at his handiwork on my neck and I already knew what was there. It was one of his favorite things to do after we started dating, something about if he couldn't tell the world I was his, he was going to at least let them know I was taken. I pretended to be annoyed by it, and I was…sometimes, but mostly, I loved how possessive he felt.

"So help me, if you have me a hickey."

"It's low and really tiny," he blushed. "Your shirt will cover it up."

He quickly changed the subject, asking if I wanted to watch a movie. He hit play, claiming he didn't know what movie was in the player and I teased him. With his head on my chest and my arm around his back, we watched the credits and I yawned.

"Are you going to talk to your dad about the bills?" he asked suddenly, but quietly.

"You think I should?" I hadn't planned on telling Jasper much less my father. I didn't know if he would be made that I had gone through his stuff. He replied that I should tell my dad, and I asked if he would do it with me, I couldn't face my parents alone, I couldn't handle all the bad news myself. Of course Jasper said yes and we made plans.

"Thanks, love," I finally said and he kissed me.

"Always, baby."

Jasper was sleep long before me. My mind had filled with numbers while my eyes constantly darted around his room looking for the darkness. Jasper was in my arms, but he was still and quiet, his presence not nearly the force it was when he was awake. Each sweep my eyes made of the room found us alone and I was finally able to close them.

The music played and the students lined up in two long rows all took one step forward. The day before, we had practiced walking in straight lines for an hour. Well, walking for everyone else. But not for me. I didn't walk with my classmates, I rolled next to them, slowly pushing my chair so I didn't bump into the kid in front of me. We made our way down the paved walkway toward the awaiting rows of chairs that were lined up in front of the stage. Chris, my alphabetical partner in the line, walked beside me, practically bouncing out of his skin.

"Can you believe this is finally happening?" he asked and I just shook my head. I really couldn't. For four years we had all waited for graduation and it had finally arrived. Jasper was near the back, but I could practically feel his hand entwined with mine. We all made our way to our seats, except for me. I parked my chair at the end of the front row. My heart was racing in my chest while the rest of my classmates filed in. Anxiously, I looked down the rows of students still walking in, squinting in the late day sun to see my boy. I saw the halo of blond hair and immediately relaxed. When the end of the line walked by, Jasper stepped out of his spot and crouched in front of me.

"You're such a rebel," I teased him.

"A rebel with a cause," he grinned in his dorky way.

"What cause?"

"You," he answered quietly and simply. I glanced around us, everyone was too busy with their own excitement to have even noticed Jasper's hands were practically on top of mine. "I know you're nervous about the speech, but you'll do great."

My eyes went to the ramp on the side of the stage. "I really wanted to walk up there, ya know?"

He titled his head and nodded. "Baby, you just have to imagine you can walk and you will," he assured me before giving me a brilliant smile and then standing. When he was sure no one was looking, he winked at me. Looking over my shoulder, I watched him stride down the aisle, his maroon robe swirling around his feet. As if he knew I was watching, he wiggled his ass before he threw his head back, his hair tumbling around him as he laughed. Shaking my head, I turned to face the stage, swallowing nervously. It was almost time. My parents sat to my left and my mother waved when I looked over at them. They both beamed with pride.

"Please welcome the valedictorian of the class of two thousand eleven, Mr. Edward Cullen," Mr. Bradshaw smiled. Cheers erupted from everyone but I heard Jasper's voice above them all. Then suddenly, I heard only his voice, whispering in my ear.

"…you just have to imagine you can walk and you will."

He would never lie to me, not about something so important.

I had faith in Jasper as I reached down and lifted my feet off the footrest, placing them on the solid ground beneath me. Taking off my gloves, I braced my hands on the armrests and took a deep breath. He was beside me, he was behind me, he was in front of me, he was everywhere when I pushed off the chair and stood on shaky legs. Once I was upright, I let go of the chair and took one unsteady step forward before glancing over my shoulder at Jasper. He was grinning knowingly. He'd never doubted me.

Step by step, I made my way to the stage, hearing the small gasps of shock as I walked up the steps and shook Mr. Bradshaw's hand. Turning to face the crowd, I felt hundreds of sets of eyes on me, but only one set penetrated to my soul. With my eyes on only him, I began.

"Congratulations class of two thousand and eleven," I started, speaking to them all but my gaze never leaving Jasper. "A few months ago, I felt my future had been stolen from me. I lost everything I thought was important, until someone reminded me that I still had everything I needed. I had friends and my family. Every day they faced adversity with me, and every day that I didn't think I would make it, they told me I could. I'm here to tell you all the same thing. When you think you can't make it, when the darkness is shrouding you, reach out and take the hand offered, because it will pull you back into the light. My…" I took a deep breath, "boyfriend taught me that."

The last syllable had barely left my lips and he was standing. By the time I tugged my bottom lip nervously between my teeth, he was walking down the aisle.

"He's the most important person in my life, and he is the reason I stand here before you all. If you believe in your dreams, if you have someone believe in them with you, they will come true."

Then he was sprinting, his robe flowing behind him as he took the steps and swooped me into his arms, swinging me around, his lips at me ear.

"You did it, baby, you did it," he breathed. "I love you."

I had done it. Just like he had always believed I could.

"I love you too," I returned before pressing my lips to his and showing everyone just how beautiful my boy was.

My eyes blinked open, my heart still racing from the kiss in my dream. The dream I'd been having every few nights.

The dream that would never come true.

Every time I woke up from it, I remembered quicker than the time before that it had only been a dream, a cruel, unrealistic dream.

I heard his parents wake up and use the bathroom, I heard their hushed voices in the hall just outside Jasper's door, but I never woke him. He kept the darkness away, and he made the ache of waking up and having to face each day a little bit more bearable. Peacefully, he slept in my arms, his face buried in the crook of my neck, his arm resting on my torso, his leg draped over mine. We usually slept in Jasper's room when I had stayed over, sometimes we put an air mattress on the floor for me, and sometimes we just shared his bed, even before we were dating. It was certainly big enough for two people to sleep in and not touch. I wasn't sure they would think it usual to find two friends so intimately embraced, but I couldn't bring myself to wake him. Lying there in the morning light, I relished in his heavy weight against me, his hot breath on my skin, the sounds of his snoring.

It was how I wanted to wake up every fucking single morning for the rest of my life.

I didn't care where we were, as long as he was next to me, as long as his heart beat for me.

Glancing over at the clock, I saw I was about an hour past my routine time. It was important to stick to it, especially because I done it so early then night before. Jasper got up and carried me into the bathroom, leaving me to do my morning routine. When I was done, he returned and helped me to the counter where I looked in the mirror and saw the red bruise low on my neck. The most adorable and guilty blush spread over his cheeks.

After I dressed, he carried me downstairs and set me in the chair. As much as I hated my prison and as much as I loved Jasper carrying me, I didn't like having to rely on him for the simplest of things, like getting to the bathroom. It was actually nice to grip the handrims and push the chair toward his kitchen.

"Breakfast? Eggs? Bacon? Pancakes?"

I don't why he bothered to ask. "You're going to cook pancakes regardless of my answer, so why do you even ask?"

"My mamma raised a polite southern boy." He blended the mix and then put the griddle on. "Bacon?"

"Definitely." I went to the refrigerator, got the bacon out and opened it. Then I reached under the stove and attempted to pull out the drawer. It hit me a few times before I was able to move the chair and pull the drawer at the same time. I put the pan on stove while Jasper turned the burner on. It was the same thing we'd done dozens of times before, only with slight changes, like I couldn't reach the buttons on the stove or the top cupboards where they kept the plates.

At the table, I poured maple syrup on my Darth Vader pancakes because Jasper said, "The pancake master, I am," and took most of the Yoda ones.

"You really think I should do this?" I asked him as I stuffed a forkful into my mouth.

"Yeah, I think we should do this," he winked. "Nothing's going to happen if you don't talk to them except you're going to worry even more than you are now, right?"

"Yeah, probably."

"Then better to find out and face it head on."

"But what if they tell me my scholarship is revoked? What if they tell me I can't play basketball because they can't afford it?" I worried.

He covered my hand with his. "Babe, you already think the scholarship is gone, right? Them telling you won't change that, you just won't wonder anymore. If it is gone, I'm sure your parents have already done things to try to figure out how to pay for college. As for basketball, I told you not to worry. I will make sure you play. I promise."

How could I ever doubt him when he spoke with such clarity, such utter devotion and certainty?

He took his hand back just as we heard his father in the kitchen. Jasper gave me one last wink before his dad walked in and joined us.

Jasper brought me home after breakfast, dropping me off before heading to work with his dad. I wheeled myself up the ramp and inside. My mother came out of the kitchen, smiling.

"Have fun?"

"Yeah, we didn't stay long at the party, but it was fun." It was only a half lie. We hadn't stayed long.

"How's Peri?"

"Good. She said hi."

"We should have her and Jason over for dinner soon," she suggested.

"Speaking of dinner, Jasper is coming over for dinner tonight, is that okay?"

"Edward, I count on him being here every night. If he's not, it only means we have leftovers." Before I could reply, she went back into the kitchen and I headed to my room.

Without Jasper by my side, the day dragged. Even my workout seemed boring without him to tease me about the music. Alice stopped in while I was lifting, crinkling her nose at the smell and then recommending I buy scented candles for the room. I tried to stay busy because every time I wasn't, all I could think about was dinner with my parents. Homework kept me occupied for a few hours, as did attempting to clean my room, but by late afternoon, I was sitting in my chair staring out at the pool, remembering when our futures had looked so much clearer.

"You really think so?" he asked me from the pink raft he floated around on, the summer sun glistening off the beads of water scattered on his bare chest and legs. He watched me with one closed and the other squinting at me waiting for my answer.

Sitting on the edge of the pool, I watched him. "Sure, why not?"

"Um, because I don't have you grades or GPA," he challenged.

"Bullshit, you're grades are as good as mine, and your GPA is only lower because I took a few AP classes," I countered. He sighed and looked away. "I'm telling you, Jasper, you can do this. You can get a scholarship for track."

He had just finished the season, finishing second in the state for the eight hundred meter, and breaking the school record for the sixteen-hundred and eight hundred meter. He could also do the high jump and hurdles, but he opted to focus on running.

"What about you? Is UW going to ask you to be a Huskie?

"Of course they will," I replied confidently, but inside I doubted myself. I was fast and had an outside shot, but I was shorter than those colleges typically recruited. Tilting my head, I studied Jasper's lithe runner's body. I'd known I always wanted to be a Huskie, but did he? "Jasper?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to apply anywhere else?"

Lazily, he turned his head toward me, using his hand to shield his eyes from the sun as he looked at me. "Why would I do that? I'm going wherever you go."

Guiltily, I looked away. It wasn't fair that my childhood college dream dictated where he chose to go too. He should be able to go wherever he wanted, regardless of me. But deep down, I knew I didn't want to go anywhere without him.

Scholarship or not.

"Because the more options the better," I suggested with a shrug.

"You mean in case I don't get into UW, I should have a back up?"

"Well," I teased, "I'm not sure they have a WoW major, or classes on the Force. You won't see Yoda as a professor there." I'd barely finished before he had slid off the floatie and was under the water, not even surfacing before he yanked on my ankles and pulled me into the water with him. Laughing, we both broke through the surface, shaking our heads. Jasper immediately swung his hand and splashed water at me until I was laughing so hard I was panting. Suddenly, his cool lips were pressed against mine and I moaned and parted my own, welcoming his tongue inside. The sun shined down on our wet bodies as we kissed, our legs sweeping by each other as we moved them to stay afloat. Breaking the kiss, he wrapped his legs around my hips and his arms around my neck, trusting me to keep us above water, which I did by circling my legs and moving my outstretched arms back and forth.

"Kiss well you do," he grinned.

"Fucking dork," I chuckled as I moved to kiss him again.

"Hey, baby," he mumbled against my lips.

"Mmm?"

"I go where you go," he vowed.

And I knew he meant it.

The snickering was faint, barely audible, but it resounded through me, hostilely tearing me from my recollection of a time that seemed so long ago. I refused to look over at the corner, I refused to see it skittering along the floor toward me, eager to cloak me like it always did. Doubt of my future was quickly seeping into me, and with the darkness came a comfort that if I didn't care, I couldn't get hurt. In only a few hours I was going to tell my parents I knew about the bills, and I was probably going to find out if my dream of going to UW was going remain just a dream. Before the darkness could slither out and encircle my feet with its smoky tendrils, my phone vibrated on my bed. Backing my chair up, I grabbed it, smiling when I opened the text message.

Should I wear the body armor and utility belt or just bring my handsome self?

Does the armor have a codpiece? I replied.

Of course. A huge one for my…cod. *wink* I'll see u in a few hrs. be safe baby

See ya soon love

I put the phone down and glanced toward the corner.

It was empty.

Relieved, I headed for the bathroom to shower before my boy arrived.

When he did arrive, he was minus the body armor, but he had a twinkle in his eyes when I opened the door. We all sat down at the dining table and the room filled with the sounds of forks scraping plates and Jasper slurping his milk. Jasper started off the conversation by asking about Alice and complimenting my mother on her meatloaf. He was such a suck up.

"So, Jasper, I was reading the Peninsula Daily News the other day and saw an interesting letter to the editor," my father began.

"Oh?" Jasper replied, his voice octaves higher than normal, his gaze suddenly fixed on his plate as if it held all the answers to question he suspected were coming.

"Seems someone was upset over some handicapped discrimination at Ronaldo's. Made some very valid points about the ADA and businesses not adhering to them under the guise of not having to because they are small," my father continued.

Swallowing, I stared at Jasper. He had threatened to write it when we had left the restaurant that night, but he had never mentioned it to me after that.

"It was very well written," my mother added.

"Than-I mean, that's good. It should be brought to everyone's attention," he attempted to lie but gave up. "I had one version that was 'angry' according to my mom. She said I needed to tone it down and back up my statement with facts."

"Well, you did exceptional. Had passion and facts," my father complimented with a bright smile.

My boy definitely had passion.

The conversation easily moved into talk about school and while I answered the question directed at me, I mostly chewed on my lip, trying to figure the right time to bring up what I'd discovered. When my father asked me if everything was okay, it was a perfect opportunity to tell them. I glanced at Jasper for some courage before answering.

"The other day I was putting something on your desk and I saw some bills. Bills for me. Big ones. Why didn't you tell me?"

My father seemed only slightly surprised. "We were trying to protect you," he replied.

Protect me from what? I had already lost my legs, my ability to walk, have sex, play basketball, how much more was there to protect me from? How much worse could it get?

"It's a little late for that, isn't it?" I snapped back harshly. "How much are they?" When my dad hesitated, I tried a different approach. "I deserve to know. They are my bills."

"But they are our responsibility, Edward, not yours," he said quietly.

"But they're because of me. You wouldn't have them if I hadn't been in the accident."

"We didn't want you to worry," my mother spoke up. "You had enough going on."

"How much?" I demanded.

"Medical expenses will be around two hundred thousand, and we saved money by having you do your rehab at home. It would have been much higher if we didn't," dad replied.

He told me that after our insurance, and James's insurance, we would probably still owe about fifteen thousand, and that was only for the medical bills. There was still going to be all the other expenses above medical, and we had probably capped our insurance for the year, which meant anything beyond that was going to be all ours to pay. Desperate, I asked about a lawsuit, and was told that James didn't have enough assets to cover much. Then he told me James would probably end up in jail.

I had a hard time feeling bad for the guy.

"What about college?" I asked, slowly looking up at my dad to see him glance at my mom. He didn't even need to tell me, I already knew, but I asked anyway. It was like pouring salt on the wound. "They revoked the scholarship, didn't they?"

My future, the one that had been so set in stone for as long as I could remember was sliding away from me, like the sand on a beach under your feet when the waves go out. No longer was playing for UW an option, no longer was my dream of being a music teacher or concert pianist a possibility. My dreams, our dreams, were gone.

I'd fucked up our future.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled to Jasper, but my parents assumed it was to them. I knew then, without having to look down and confirm, that Jasper's sneakered foot would be resting against mine. My father told me it wasn't my fault, that they would take care of everything, that I didn't have to worry. I thought otherwise.

"How? I can't live my life. I can't go to college, I can't play basketball because I need a new chair," I said with a shaky voice.

"You've still welcomed to attend there, we just need to pay for it now. You're mother has already filed for financial aid, and I'm sure we'll get some. Plus we've got some put away for your college expenses," he reassured me.

"What is this about basketball?" his mother asked.

My father broke the news to her in the way that only husbands can. I watched with my head bowed, I saw her glance at Jasper who quickly looked away. Of course, she asked if it was safe, and my father answered, but I knew, like all parents, they would be discussing it behind closed doors later that night.

"Tell me about the chair, Edward?" my dad asked but when I didn't speak up right away, Jasper took over.

"Sam…he's the coach. He said that the chair Edward needs is about two thousand dollars. Plus there are some other fees and stuff he needs to pay. But I think I found a way to pay for it." His eyes left my father and went to me and he grinned. "I'm going to raise the money."

Raise the money? Like stand out at the grocery store holding a can with a picture of me in the wheelchair on it, and ask people for donations as they entered and exited.

"How?" I asked.

"A race," he answered confidently before pulling a flyer out and putting it on the table. "I'm going to get donations from people and stuff."

He was going to run a race. For me.

"You would do that for me?" I choked out.

"Of course," he replied quickly, as if it was the most stupid question he'd ever heard.

"Jasper, I think that's a great idea. I'm sure with my and your mother's connections at the hospital we could get you some decent donations, maybe the hospital could even sponsor you, or match your donations. It would be great for the community to get together and support one of their own," my dad supplied, an hint of excitement in his voice too.

"There's only one problem. The race isn't until the end of May, which is good because it gives me time to train, but Edward is going to need the chair within a week, but I think if I asked my da-"

"Esme and I will pay for Edward's chair. If you raise the money, then we can put it toward the expense," my dad offered.

"I've got six hundred I can give you," Jasper said. I couldn't believe he was offering my parents his savings.

"Jasper, you don't need to do that," my mother said, shaking her head.

"I want to. I want to help," he insisted in his usual stubborn ways. My parents were in for one hell of a battler if they even thought they might have a chance against Jasper's persistence.

"Jasper, you just offered to run a race to raise some money, I think that qualifies as helping," my dad smiled.

If Jasper was going to run a race and give up his money, then I was would too, I wasn't completely helpless. "I want to help too. I've got the money I've saved and I'm going to get my job back."

"Edward, I'm not sure that's a good idea," his father began. "You've got school and now basketball, plus PT. These things all take a toll on your body. Working would be too difficult."

"So I will only work a few hours a week, just something to help," I answered quietly.

"We'll talk about it," he sighed before picking up Jasper's flyer. "A half marathon?"

"Yep."

"Thirteen miles?" I gasped, looking at Jasper and he nodded. The most he'd run was seven, I didn't know how was he going to do thirteen.

"I've got time to train. I already practice every day, I just need to up the distance. This week I'm going to hit a few places and see if I can get some donations. I want to raise as much as I can to help out with bills and maybe car."

"A car?" I scoffed.

He shrugged, "Well, a van. They cost about thirty thousand used."

"Someone's done their homework," my dad laughed.

Thirty thousand dollars. Jasper thought he could raise that much money with a race. I thought it highly impossible, but there was one thing that dating Jasper had taught me.

Never, under any circumstances, underestimate him.

He might have seemed quiet and shy, but he was a fucking force to be reckoned with when he wanted to be. He was also charming when he put on his drawl and tipped his head in that way that only cowboys seemed to know how to do. No one was going to be able to resist him when he approached them with his 'aw shucks' manner and asked for money for his crippled friend. The more I thought about it, the more I thought thirty thousand was probably an underestimation.

But he still had to run thirteen miles.

My dad raised his glass. "A toast to Jasper's race and Edward's basketball."

We all drank, Jasper's eyes on me as he gulped his milk and then licked off the moustache it left behind on his upper lip. Then my dad asked me about the team and I told them about Sam and each of the other players. When I mentioned practices, Jasper spoke up again, offering to bring me to each practice after track. My parents thought it was a generous offer, but I knew there was a selfish, and horny, reason behind it. Of course, my father said it was fine as long as we kept up our grades and I listened to my body, stopping if I felt something was wrong. Both Jasper and I promised.

"So how do we get this chair for you?" my dad asked.

"Well, the place is in Seattle, we can order it and then go pick it up. Sam emailed me a link to their website. He said they give discounts for his team." I continued to tell them about the first practice, how much I had sucked at dribbling, how the team had great plays but their left side was weak. As I spoke nonstop for a few minutes, and saw Jasper smiling at me, I realized that for the first time in a long time, I was proud of something again, and it was all because of the boy sitting across from me.

The one with a heart of gold.

We went to my room after dinner. Jasper closed the door and then promptly sat his fine ass on my lap, his legs hanging over the armrest with his arms around my neck as he leaned his head back while I nibbled along his jaw, inhaling his scent of pine and body wash. He always smelled like wood after working with his dad.

"You smell so good," I murmured and he moaned. "I can't believe you are going to run thirteen miles for me." I stopped kissing him and looked at him. Sighing, he put his head on my shoulder and touched my face with his fingertips.

"Babe, I'd run so much farther than thirteen miles for you."

Always with the right words. Superhero powers, codpiece or not.

"You would?"

"Definitely. I'm going to need your help though."

"Doing what?"

"I want you to help me train. The running part I've got but I'd like to build up some muscle on my legs. Think you can help with me that?" he asked coyly, unable to hide the twinkle in his eyes.

Apparently watching me play basketball wasn't enough, he now wanted to work out with me. I told him I would help, but that I needed something in return.

"I want you to bring me to work tomorrow. I want to talk to my boss and see if I can get my job back."

"But your dad-"

"Yeah, I know. But, Jas, I can't sit around…literally, and do nothing while you all get money. It's not right," he reasoned and he nodded. Like me, he knew the battles worth fighting, and he wasn't going to get anywhere on that one. He asked me if I was okay with learning about the scholarship being revoked.

I sighed, long and heavy. "Yeah, I guess. I mean, I've been telling myself all along that they were going to revoke it, but it was still kinda hard to hear. I know my parents have some money saved for college, but I don't know if it's enough."

"Well, there's always loans and grants and stuff," he added hopefully, always the optimist.

"I hope so."

"Shit." He pulled his phone out and told me about Newton and the movies.

"I really just want to stay here with you tonight," I confessed. I wanted my boy all to myself, I didn't feel like sharing. He typed a reply and tossed the phone on the bed before looking at me with some very hungry eyes and asked if it was too soon to take me up on my earlier offer a blow job, then he told me it was about time he put his legs to use besides wrapping them around me.

"But that's what they're best at," I moaned right before I leaned toward him.

"True," he mumbled as my mouth slated over his, taking his breath with it.

I fulfilled my offer from earlier, gradually working my hand down his lean body to his jeans, where I teased him through the heavy material before finally undoing them and slipping my hand inside. He was panting into the kiss by the time my hand was under his briefs, and after making sure the door was blocked by my nightstand, he stood before me with his jeans around his thighs and his shirt pulled up as he watched my mouth glide over his length. To stop himself from crying out, he bit down on his lip when he came and fisted my hair as his cock emptied and filled my mouth.

"**~~**"

Keeping his promise, he picked me up the next morning and brought me to the sub shop. I'd lied to my mother, but only felt slightly guilty about it. If I could help out, I was going to. I wheeled into the restaurant, inhaling the all too familiar scent of baked bread and cut vegetables. Glancing around nervously, I spotted Katie behind the counter, waving frantically at me. Katie was nice, we'd always gotten well. She had trained me when I had started working there and we had bonded over those first few days that I had stuck to her like glue.

As soon as she was done helping the customer, she took off her plastic gloves and ran around the counter. After a hug, she asked how I was feeling, then apologized for not coming to visit me. I knew why she, and all my other friends, hadn't come see me while I was out of school. They were scared, they felt uncomfortable, awkward, useless…all of the above. No one knew what to say to the cripple, and I couldn't blame them.

Before the silence got too awkward, I asked, "Hey, is Mr. MacFarlin around?"

"Yeah, he's out back. I'll go get him." She turned and headed back around the counter and then through a doorway.

When Mr. MacFarlin walked out from the backroom, he shook my hand and then proceeded to tell me he missed me, right before he said they didn't have any openings. All I got out of going there and practically begging for a job was two free subs.

Jasper followed me through the line. I ignored the height of the counter and ovens, I ignored the fact that even if Mr. MacFarlin had let me come back to work, I wouldn't have been to do my job like I had before.

We left and Jasper helped me back into the truck, then told me they didn't deserve me before holding my hand all the way to his house. I couldn't help but smile as I went up the ramp over his steps and into his front door. While he grabbed some sodas from the kitchen, I transferred to the couch, even lifting my legs onto the coffee table like I would have any other time. He came in and flopped on the couch next to me, handing me a Mountain Dew. Jasper turned on the television, leaning back into the couch, his shoulder and arm brushing mine as we ate. We should have been doing homework, but we played Fable III instead, and when I began to kick his ass, I teased him and he shoved my shoulder.

"Fuck off, Cullen," he growled with a smile and a roll of his eyes.

I felt so…normal.

When we finally started our homework an hour later, we made it through about four physics problems before I saw Jasper tapping his foot against mine. Sighing, I looked at him with a raised brow.

"Physics makes me horny," he said, leaning closer, his breath feathering over my skin. "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Like the action of stroking my cock bring the reaction of it shooting my load. Why don't we go upstairs and I jerk off for you?"

"We need to get this done," I reminded him breathlessly.

"I need to come for you," he murmured sweetly.

"Homework can wait," I replied, closing my book and looking into his lust laden eyes.

Yeah, homework could definitely wait.

I didn't even transfer to the chair, he lifted me off the couch and carried me up the stairs of the empty house. In his room, he put me on the bed and I moved up to the pillows while he lay next to me, already undoing his pants and pulling them down to his thighs. I wanted to see him completely naked, but it was too big a risk during the day.

I watched as he pumped himself in long, measured drags, his eyes closing as he licked his lips and shifted his jaw back and forth in concentration. Moving so my body was pressed to his side, I put my lips near his ear, telling him how sexy he was and how I wanted to see him come hard for me. While he stroked, I slid a hand down his side and over his thigh, nuzzling my face into the strained tendons of his neck, I licked his salty flavor with a murmur of appreciation. It only took few sentences before he was lifting his back off the bed as his body tensed and convulsed and he came. Opening his eyes, he gazed at me and I kissed him, muffling his loud cries of ecstasy. The day might have started off pretty shitty but it had gotten a whole lot better as I watched my boy recover from his orgasm, his cock still in his fist.

"Feel good?" I asked, watching his chest heave as he tried to regain his breath.

"Yeah," he exhaled, then lifted his head and looked down his chest with lines of his cum on it. "Kinda messy, huh?"

Bracing myself on my elbow, I pushed my body down his, dragging my tongue along his skin, lapping up his cum. Suddenly the breaths he had caught were quickening again, and his hand was in my hair, directing me to each line until every drop was gone. Raising my head, I looked at him, seeing the fire in his eyes right before he pulled me down to him, smashing our mouths together in a searing kiss. His hands went under my arms and he hitched me onto him. I curled my arms under his shoulders and cradled his head as we kissed.

For once I was pressing him into the mattress, I was on top of him, it was his cock trapped under my hips. He moaned into the kiss and I knew if I released his silky hair long enough I would find his cock twitching back to life. His insatiable appetite for me only fed my hunger for him. To know I still turned him on that much with just a kiss and my hands in his hair was powerful, an aphrodisiac all on its own. Before his cock became completely hard, I lifted my head, looking down at him while I pushed his hair back.

"Tell me again," I whispered.

"It's all going to be okay," he smiled, threading his own fingers through my hair. "I promise."

"College?"

"That too. We will go together, live together, and wake up every morning together," he vowed with such absolute certainty, there was no doubting him.

"Thanks, love," I replied, resting my forehead to his. He kissed me gently.

"Anytime, babe."

A few hours later, Jasper dropped me off at my house, complete with homework not done, and I was barely in my door before my dad was calling to me from his desk in the living room. I pushed around the end table, the couch and chair and went to him in the corner. Our living room was more congested with the addition of our dining room table and my dad's desk.

"Yeah?"

He held up the pieces of paper I had printed for basketball. "Are these the forms I need to sign?"

"Yeah, both of those. The other one is a typical athlete contract. I signed a copy already but that one is ours to keep."

Picking up a pen, he didn't hesitate as he scrawled his signature on the bottom of the two pages, then handed them to me. "There ya go."

"Thanks," I said, taking the papers and folding them back up.

"You sure you want to do this?" he asked softly.

A few weeks ago, I would have laughed at him and said he was crazy if he remotely thought I wanted to play wheelchair basketball, but after being with the team and feeling that rush again, I had to play. "Yeah, I am."

Smiling, he turned back to his computer and clicked the mouse and opened up a browser. "Then let's order this chair for you."

My heart raced as I told him the URL and he brought the site up. "It's that one right there," I said, pointing to the image of an orange and black wheelchair.

He clicked and opened up more images of it, commenting on its streamlined design. However when he downloaded the order form we found out it was lot more complicated than simply picking out the color. Apparently the chairs were custom made and we had to select everything from the seat width to the type of footrest I wanted. It was incredibly detailed and took us over an hour. I had gone back into my room and referred back to the email that Sam had sent me that had a few required specs on it, like color and frame size but the rest was up to me and my personal preference. As my dad and I worked our way through the form, I began to get excited as I saw the chair start to come together, and when the colors of maroon and gray were finally chosen, I realized I was going actually going to be playing with a new team.

"What are you doing?" Alice asked when she walked through the room on the way to her bedroom.

"Ordering me a chair for basketball," I said, recognizing the slight sound of pride in my voice.

"Wheelchair basketball?"

"Yep. I'm going to play on a team in Port Angeles."

"Can I come to a game?" she asked, glancing over my dad's shoulder as he checked out the team's page to show her. "Oh, he's cute!" She reached over and pointed to Riley and I felt myself blush.

"You can come to cheer me on, but you can't come to drool over the other players," I teased her and she frowned.

"I'll think about it," she giggled before picking up her bag and sprinting up the stairs.

"I think it's done," my dad said as he checked over the form. "These specs for the seat and wheels are the same as you have now, so the height of them should be fine. The wheels are slanted so that might take some getting used to. This chair is going to be a lot lighter, so you're going to move faster."

"Good, because I felt pretty slow compared to the other kids the other night."

"Well, you'll have to practice this week in your chair, this new one won't be done until Friday." He entered a few more things, then clicked submit. The total screamed at the bottom of the page.

Two thousand two hundred and forty dollars.

I swallowed at the number, but my dad never said a word as he entered his credit card information and then selected submit and confirm.

It was done.

I was going to play basketball again.

"Thanks, Dad," I replied, a little choked up at what he had just done for me, his crippled son.

"You're welcome. Now your mother and I want to go to the games and watch you kick some ass," he smiled before reaching up and fluffing my hair.

"I don't think mom will want to go."

He sighed. "Sure she will. Just give her some time to adjust. You're still her little boy and you've gone through a lot these past few months, and now you want to do something she thinks might hurt you even more."

"Will it?"

"Not likely. They take every precaution, I'm sure you'll be fine," he said confidently. "According to this, you can pick the chair up next Saturday. I think that's my weekend to work, but maybe your mother can take you in to pick it up," he suggested.

"Um, I can see if Jasper can take me. I mean if it would be easier for you guys," I countered.

Tilting his head, he eyed me for a few seconds before nodding. "That's fine with me. It's a long way though, are you sure he would be allowed to go that far in Jason's truck?"

"I'll check."

"Do that and let me know. If not, we'll figure something out, don't worry. Now how about we go scrounge up something for dinner, I think your mother is meeting some friends tonight."

"Sure, I'll be right there," I said as he got up and headed for the kitchen. Pulling out my phone, I dialed Jasper.

"What's up, stud?" he answered and I immediately rolled my eyes.

"Stud? Is that a construction joke?"

"Yep. It should be closely followed by 'I want to nail you'," he laughed. Even without him saying it to my face, I felt my cheeks heat up.

"Don't give up your day job for comedy," I teased.

"Fuck you, I'm hilarious," he retorted, fringing hurt.

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"My dad ordered the chair."

"Awesome. When can you get it?"

"The site said it should be ready on Friday. So I was wondering if you could drive me to Seattle next Saturday to pick it up?" I asked him, glancing over my shoulder to make sure I was still alone.

"Sure, let me see if I can get the truck," he answered without even thinking about it.

"Okay, thanks," I said hesitantly.

"Hey, babe?"

"Yeah?"

"It's okay to be excited," he said quietly.

He was right. It had been so long since I had thought about something in a positive way. I might not have realized that I had missed it so much, but Jasper had. I was playing because he knew I had to. At the same time, I was worried that this excitement, on any level, meant I was accepting my fate in the chair. If I was okay with playing wheelchair basketball, then I was okay with being crippled. And I wasn't. I never would be.

Somehow, some way, he'd sensed that.

"Are you sure?" I whispered. "Because I just feel like if I am, then it means…" I couldn't even bring myself to say the words.

"Yeah, I'm sure. It doesn't mean that you're giving up hope, baby, it just means you're playing."

I sighed. "I really want to."

"I know you do, and that's why it's okay to be excited about it. You're not giving up your old team just because you're playing with a new one. It'd be the same at college, right?"

"Yeah, that's true," I agreed.

"So tell me about the chair," he said, and I couldn't help but the let the excitement creep back into my voice. I was in the process of telling him how many things my father and I had to do for the form when my dad yelled out from the kitchen that he had found something for dinner. "I gotta go, love. See you in the morning?"

"Yep, I'll be there at seven. Be safe, baby."

"See ya soon, love."

Hitting end, I put the phone back in my pocket and heading toward the kitchen for dinner. My phone buzzed before I was halfway there.

Btw, I'm funny as hell damn it.

I wheeled into the kitchen with a grin plastered on my face.

All because a certain perfect boy.

"**~~**"

"Where are your books?" I asked him, motioning to his empty hands as walked beside me on the way into the gym for practice.

So far everything had gone according to plan. I had emailed Sam the day before and updated him on the status of the chair, and he reminded me to bring the paperwork with me to practice. Jasper had come over right after track practice, practically throwing me in the truck so we would have time to hit McDonald's on the way, claiming he was craving a burger and chocolate shake. As he inhaled the burger in three bites I told him it wasn't exactly the diet of Olympic athletes in training, though I didn't exactly mind watching him suck hard on the straw.

"In the truck," he answered.

"You promised my dad you were going to do your homework while you waited for me," I reminded him.

"Babe, if you're out there playing, there is only once place my eyes will be. And it's not in a book," he chuckled.

"Dork." I shook my head.

"Your dork," he said just as we reached the entrance to the gym. I paused at the doorway, looking over at my new teammates on the other side when I heard someone behind us.

"Good to see you back, Cullen," Riley smiled as he pulled up next to me, holding out his hand for a fist bump. I returned it and then motioned to Jasper.

"Thanks. This is my friend Jasper," I introduced. "Jasper, this is the team captain, Riley."

Jasper held out his hand and Riley shook it. "Nice to meet you."

"You too," Riley grinned. "You play?"

"Only for him to kick my ass in his driveway," Jasper admitted without shame.

"He does track," I bragged. "Second place last year in the eight hundred."

"Cool. A friend of mine is a pole vaulter at UW. Scary shit if you ask me," he chuckled.

"Says the guy that used to go down a mountain on bike," I retorted.

"Yeah, well, that was different," he laughed. "I'll see ya over there." He nodded to Jasper and then rolling across the gym. I glanced behind me to find Jasper staring down at me, not Riley as he moved toward the rest of the team.

"What did ya think?"

"Seems really nice," he replied. "Go get 'em with your mad Cullen Skills."

Encouraged, I pushed forward, then looked over my shoulder at Jasper leaning against the doorframe. "Enjoy the show." I winked before turning around and rolling across the parquet floor to the team.

They welcomed me back with smiles. Sam slapped me on the back and said he was thrilled I had decided to play, claiming they were going to kick ass with their secret weapon.

"Riley, why don't you take Edward down the other end and go over our defense with him while I work on a few offensive plays with these guys," Sam instructed Riley after we broke from the pre-practice meeting.

"Come on, Cullen," Riley said as he pushed toward the other end of the court, grabbing a ball from the rack on his way. I glanced over at Jasper sprawled on bleachers, legs stretched, elbows on the row behind him, eyes intently on me. No one else but me caught his wink. Shaking my head, I turned and followed Riley, who was expertly dribbling the ball next to his chair as he pushed. I watched the coordination he had, the speed at which his hands went from the ball to his wheels and then back to the ball before it bounced again. He made it look so fucking easy. I also couldn't help but notice the way the muscles in his forearms glided smoothly under the tanned skin. His tank top showed off the upper body he had developed over time while his shorts revealed the thin legs that were no longer used. I looked down at my own sweatpants, still ashamed to show my legs, even if they weren't much smaller than before. A wide strap cut across his thighs and another around his hips.

"It's to keep my balance," he said, catching me staring at him. "The higher the injury, the harder to keep balance without your core muscles. Your injury is pretty low, you still have abs?"

"Yeah, most of them."

"Then you'll probably only need one across your legs," he said. "Did Sam tell you the classifications or anything?"

"No."

"Players are assigned values one through three based on their muscle control and function. A one has the lowest amount of balance and muscle control while a three has the highest. Threes are usually amputees, polio, stuff that puts you in a wheelchair but you still have muscle function. Two's have limited use of their legs, but still have good core control, like abs and lower back muscles. One's have very limited use of their abs and low back muscles. A team can have twelve points on the floor at one time. So, we could have three threes, a two and a one. Make sense?"

"Yeah, I think so. What are you?"

"I'm a one, Leah and Brady are threes."

"What would I be?"

"You might be a two, but probably a one. Even though you've got some abs, you don't have any use of your legs."

"Is a one okay?"

"Yeah, we won't have any problem staying under twelve." Suddenly, he threw the ball at me. Whipping my hands up from the wheels, I caught it. "Nice reflexes." He grinned and pushed his chair back from me, weaving it back and forth. "So, Cullen, work on your dribbling at all?"

"A little, but I didn't have much time this weekend," I admitted.

"You'll catch on quick enough, but extra practice at home won't hurt. Why don't we warm up with some shooting and then we'll go over defense."

I nodded and moved the chair so I was facing the net head on. I hadn't shot since the last practice and hoped I wasn't about to embarrass myself. With Riley watching me, an easy smile on his face, I lifted the ball and shot, relieved when it swished through the net. Shaking his head, Riley rebounded it and bounced passed it back. I shot a few more times from the three point line, then moved closer and tried some in the paint. Riley gave a few hints on shooting from the chair, and even came over to attempt to block me a few times. I was surprised when his long arms reached up and his fingertips grazed the ball, sending it off enough so that it missed the basket. Laughing, he retrieved it and then passed it back to me.

"Try again," he smiled. Anticipating his block that time, I arced the ball even more and grinned when his hand didn't touch it and it sailed through the net. "Touché." He came over with the ball on his lap. "Okay, so here's the deal with defense. We tend to do our defense depending on the team we're playing. We do both man to man and zone. If we're playing a decent outside shooting team then we'll do man to man, if they're not, then we will do zone and save some energy. It's a lot like when you played before." He spun his chair around and stopped.

"But defense is all about feet," I said, confused on how I was supposed to use my feet for defense now.

"Now it's all about the chair, and positioning it. Using it to block someone. I'll show you. Come at me," he encouraged before tossing me the ball. "I'll defend you." Flicking his head to his side, his damp hair moved off his forehead and exposed his sapphire blue eyes. "Just keep it on your lap, don't worry about dribbling."

Doing as he instructed, I put the ball on my lap and pushed toward him with some speed. He was fast, turning his chair and angling it into mine, bumping me gently. When I tried to spin around him, he twisted his chair and blocked my path.

"You can force people to take the outside shot like this. It's not always this gentle, when you get your chair, you'll see how hard you can bumped. It's what the fender and fifth wheel are for."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," he smiled. He was always fucking smiling. Why was he so damn happy all the time?

"Have you ever gotten hurt?"

He chuckled and looked down at his legs. "Yeah, it's why I'm here."

"I meant playing."

Laughing, he tossed his head back, his hair falling right into place when he looked at me with sparkling eyes. "Nothing more than a few pinched fingers here and there. I've fallen over, but didn't get hurt." He moved his chair closer, then reached toward me and took the ball from my lap. "Now you defend me." Effortlessly, he spun his chair around and headed for the basket. I tried to block his path, but he easily turned around me and made a layup.

"Again," he said, moving back to half court. He breezed right by me, smirking as he made another easy shot.

We did it over and over, each time, he was too damn fast and I missed him. "Damn it," I muttered when he rolled by for what seemed like the hundredth time. Glancing over the bleachers for some support, I found Jasper. His eyes pierced me even from across the gym, his lips curling up into a small smile. I knew what he was thinking, and it had nothing to do with basketball. Shaking my head, I turned back to Riley.

"Again," I demanded as I stripped off my sweatshirt and tossed it to the floor.

Riley motioned to my neck. "Looks like your girlfriend got a little feisty."

The tank top I had on was one I used to wear at basketball practice, and apparently its low neck made Jasper's mark visible. "Fuck," I muttered, resisting the urge to glance at Jasper. "Nah, just a bug bite."

"Right," Riley snorted.

"Come at me again," I demanded, changing the subject.

"As you wish," he teased. "Ya know I never could have gotten by you when we played each other before."

"So this is some sweet revenge?" I challenged.

"Maybe," he winked. "I gotta admit, it's nice to see the all mighty Cullen flustered."

Gritting my teeth, I positioned my chair as he rolled toward me with increasing speed. That time, I watched his hands, not the ball, and I noticed the slight twitch in them. Then it came back to me. Reading the offense was something I'd always been able to hold my own at, I'd learned to watch their feet to see which way they were going to go regardless of where the ball went. Now there were no feet to watch, but there were hands on wheels. As he approached me, I saw his left hand shift slightly, and instinctively, I moved to my right, my wheel catching his fender in time to throw off his direct line to the basket and he spun around to approach me again. Watching his hands again, I saw his right move off the wheel and again I stopped him from pushing by me.

"Hmmm," he said as he turned and came at me again. Concentrating, I focused on his hands and moved my chair in front of him at the last second, catching enough of his chair to stop him completely. Frustrated, he went to shoot and I reached up, the tips of my fingers brushing along the ball enough for it to fall beside my chair and I reached out and grabbed it before he could, effectively stealing it from him. Out of habit, I looked down court for my outlet teammate for a fast break, just as I would have if I'd been playing in a game.

It had taken me close to an hour, but I'd finally stopped Riley. He challenged me, he didn't let me rest on my reputation as a star player. There was no doubt I could shoot, but the rest of it was going to take some time, and Riley was going to make me earn back my reputation.

"You're catching on, Cullen," Riley chuckled. "Want to go again?"

"Yeah," I replied, passing the ball back to him and running my hand through my sweaty hair.

I stopped him again, forcing him to take a long outside shot, which he missed. "Looks like someone needs to work on their outside shooting."

"Hey, I'm a post," he grumbled with a grin. "You're the outside shooter."

We continued going over defense techniques and the more I watched his hands, the quicker I got at knowing which way he was going to go. I stopped him a few more times before we were both panting for breath and wiping sweat off our faces. It was the hardest workout I'd had in months, and I fucking loved it. I loved the exhaustion in my muscles, I loved pushing them until they burned and ached. I loved the sweat on my face and the feeling of my lungs sucking in air until my throat was dry. I was pushing myself to the limit, something I hadn't done since the accident.

Sam called the team over to do a three on three scrimmage. While they went through some plays, I watched with Brady from the sidelines, sucking down my water in large gulps. When Sam stopped it to go over a play, I looked over at Jasper. He was still leaning back, his long legs crossed. A few waves of silk fell across his eye when he tilted his head at me, then teasingly ran his tongue along his bottom lip. I couldn't contain the shiver that went through me at the sensual movement. I think I wanted to get him out the truck as much as he did.

"Okay, time to call it a night," Sam said from center court. The team headed toward the sidelines and picked up their duffle bags. I went to grab my sweatshirt, but Riley whizzed by me, reaching down and picking it up before I could. Putting it on his lap, he spun his chair around, pushing backwards away from me.

"Come and get it," he teased. Rolling my eyes, I surged my chair forward with one large push, almost catching up to him. He raised his brows, surprised at my short burst of speed. "You might have potential yet, Cullen." He rolled to a stop by at the end of the court, and I gently tapped into his chair with mine. Holding his blue gaze, I reached over, snagged my sweatshirt from his lap and quickly spun my chair around, glancing at him over my shoulder.

"Maybe next time you'll be faster," I smiled, and then turned toward Jasper. He was already in the doorway and even from a distance I could see the outline of his erection as he shifted his weight back and forth.

"See ya, Cullen," Riley called out behind me.

"See ya," I replied, but my attention was already on getting my boy off. Jasper turned before I reached him, his strides long and purposeful as he walked down the hallway. I pushed hard to keep up with him, following him down the ramp to the truck. Wordlessly, but with a flush on his cheeks, he got me into the cab and then put my chair in the back. The door had barely closed and he was lifting his hips off the leather seat and unbuttoning his jeans. Enthralled with his desperation, I watched him as he lowered his zipper and sighed in relief when his erection sprung free.

He'd gone commando.

"Jas…" I began but stopped when he looked at me with wild, fiery eyes. After glancing out the back window, he moved across the seat and went to straddle me, but I stopped him. "Have they all left?"

Sighing, he looked around me. "There's a few cars over there," he said, pointing behind us. "But, baby, it's dark. They won't see."

"What if they come over here?"

Groaning, he hung his head. "Fine."

Sexual frustration rolled off him as he stared out the window, his cock in his loose hand while he watched the rest of the team leave, a few getting into Sam's van for a ride home. The last one to leave was Riley, who got into a gray conversion van. He'd barely backed out of the parking space before Jasper was climbing on top of me and pulling off his shirt.

"Off," he demanded, his fingers tugging at the bottom of my sweaty shirt. "Need to see you. Need to touch you." Before I could protest, he was sliding the tank top up my body, and without hesitating, I raised my arms for him to pull it off. He immediately ran his hands over my shoulders and down my arms, squeezing my biceps, which flexed under his attention. "You smell so fucking good."

"You okay?" I asked, slightly intimidated by his feral need. I had seen Jasper eager many times, but never quite as urgent as he was then.

"I need you to touch me, baby. Right fucking now," he commanded lowly. His knees were on either sides of my thighs and I grabbed his hips and pulled him forward so I could yank his jeans down over his ass. His cock twitched, a bead of precum forming at the slit. Holding his hips, I looked at him through my lashes and leaning forward, flicked my tongue over the head before swirling it around once. His hips bucked forward. "Babe, you do that again and I'm going to come."

Smirking, I did it again.

He didn't come, but he moaned, long and loud, filling the cab with his sound and scent. "Please…" Pushing his hips back down onto my lap, I held them with one hand while the other wrapped around his cock. His head lolled back, his Adam's apple jutting out as he began thrusting into my closed fist.

"Only gonna take a few strokes," he warned me. Lifting his head, his eyes captured mine, holding them in the heat of his gaze as he ran his hands over my chest and shoulders and arms. Sometimes lightly, other times he gripped so tight I thought he might bruise me. Then he slid one hand up my arm and shoulders to rest on the spot where he'd marked me. While his thumb rubbed it, his other hand went to a nipple, pinching it. When my back arched forward into his touch, his hips pushed up erratically.

"Faster," he breathed. Obeying, I quickly slid my hand over the velvet skin of his shaft. His other hand traveled to my other nipple, and he worked them both, tugging and flicking and tweaking until I was moaning as loudly as he was. He grabbed my hand from his hip and shoved his between his thighs, curling it around his balls. "Play with me…yeah, just like that," he cried out when I cupped and tugged on the wrinkled sac. He dropped forward, his forehead landing heavily on my shoulder, but his hands never stopped on me. One last hard pump and he tensed. "Coming," he cried out hoarsely.

He was wrong, it hadn't taken him a few strokes, but it had taken less than a dozen before his cock was pulsing and releasing his warm cum in short, strong bursts. The waves of his climax hit him, his body convulsing on me as he grunted. I hadn't seen him come that hard in a long time, his cock still twitching and releasing even after several streams had landed on us. Not even trying to control himself, hot breaths washed over my chest as he gasped for air while strands of silky hair brushed my jaw as he moved his head and kissed my neck.

"Mind telling me what had you so worked up?" I asked, my hand leaving his hip to run up his bare back, pleased when he trembled.

"You."

It was a simple answer, and the raw honesty of it sent a shiver down my stunted spine.

Slowly, he lifted his head, moving his forehead to mine. "Just something in the way you move, baby. When you blocked that kid's shot, I almost came in my pants. Then when you did it again, I was fucking tempted to go the bathroom and jerk off," he confessed.

Smiling, I ran a finger down his cheek. "What stopped you?"

"I wanted you to do it more," he admitted with a smirk, "but it was fucking torture to sit there and wait and watch. Thought my nuts were gonna burst."

"My horny boy, that's what you get for going commando," I sighed. Breaching the space between us, I kissed him for the first time since we'd gotten into the truck, my tongue seeking out his for a long few minutes before he groaned and pulled away.

"We gotta go, huh?"

"Yeah, probably. I remembered to bring one this time," he announced proudly as he reached for a towel on the seat and used it to wipe off my chest and hand, then his own abs and dick before tossing it on the floor of the truck, then he put his tee shirt back on and handed mine to me. He rose to his knees and I pulled up his pants and stuffed his cock back into his jeans, carefully zipping them up. While he moved back to his seat, I put on my tee shirt, then we buckled up our seatbelts and Jasper started the truck. He took my hand and placed them on the seat between us.

"So how was practice?" he asked causally, as if we both couldn't still smell his release in the air or see the flush remaining on his cheeks.

Shaking my head, I looked away. "It was good," I began and then filled him in on the details, watching him squirm in his seat as he recalled what he'd seen, what had gotten him so worked up. He listened intently, occasionally letting go of my hand to palm his cock.

"**~~**"

"You got everything?" he asked as he placed me in the cab of the truck, then tossed my backpack on the floor.

"Yeah, I think so. I've got some kits, pain pills, the forms and," I reached into the bag and pulled out a container full of cookies that my mother had baked, "snacks!"

"God, I love your mother," he sighed happily.

"Dude, that's just gross." He rolled his eyes and closed the door, cutting off a longer rant from me. I heard him put my chair in the back and I buckled up just as he climbed in.

"Did you bring drinks too?"

"Of course. What's a road trip without Dew? You got the cap on the back?" I asked, pointing to the cover on the bed of the truck.

"Yeah, I thought it might be good to have it on for the ride out there. Want to keep the investment safe." Smiling, he reached up and turned on the GPS. "What's the address?" I gave it to him and he entered it. "Looks like just under four hours. Should put us there about two." After hitting play on the stereo, he leaned back and did up his own seatbelt.

I looked out the windshield, confirming my suspicions and finding my mother standing on the porch. She might have baked us cookies and checked to make sure that I had enough of everything several times, but she couldn't hide her nerves over Jasper driving me four hours from home. After a lot of worry from my mother and convincing from my dad, she had finally agreed to let Jasper drive me. It hadn't escaped anyone that I was returning to Seattle for the first time since my accident. The last time I'd been there, I had been strapped to a backboard and had arrived by helicopter in the middle of the night. I couldn't fault my parent's concern, and part of me reveled in the way they cared so much about me. Jasper had an easier time getting the truck as long as he agreed to call his dad when we arrived in Seattle and before we left to head home.

As Jasper shifted into reverse, my mother waved and smiled. Jasper twisted his body, his arm resting along the back of the seat as he turned to look out the window and back up. Slowly, he backed out onto the street and then shifted into drive.

"Sure you're ready for this, Cullen?" he grinned.

"Fuck yeah," I replied, waving to my mother before Jasper pulled away. We were barely a few hundred feet from my driveway when his hand covered mine on the seat between us.

It had been a long week spent in school, doing homework, PT with Emmett, practice with the team and then practicing on my own in the driveway. A few days he was later than usual after having stopped at a few places to ask for pledges for the race, but Jasper still came over every day after track practice, practically collapsing on my bed, his eyes closing before he'd even said hi. He had already raised a little over two thousand dollars after a large donation from Newton's Sporting Goods. Mike's parents had said they would sponsor Jasper, providing him with sneakers and clothing for training as long as he wore something with their logo on it in the race. When they handed Jasper a thousand dollar check, he agreed without hesitation. The other thousand had come from a few stores and restaurants, but he had yet to hit a lot of businesses, the hospital or friends at school. But even after already raising enough to almost pay for the chair, Jasper's pride in his early effort couldn't shadow his clear exhaustion. After updating me on his status, he sat on my lap and we made out for a few minutes. Twice he fell asleep on me, his head heavy on my shoulder as he snored.

But there was something else besides his exhaustion, something was bothering him. I had asked him about it a few times, but he had shaken his and said, "I'm just tired, baby. I'm running more than I'm used to and it takes some getting used to." Then he had kissed me and made me forget what I had been worried about to begin with.

I studied him as he drove, his face was tight and drawn. No easy smiles, or even tired ones. He joked with me, even teased me a few times but he was preoccupied and I could tell.

And I had no idea why, but whatever it was scared me.

We stopped at a truck stop about half way there so Jasper could use the bathroom. When he got back into the truck, I handed him a few cookies and a soda, telling him he looked like he could use it.

We arrived in Seattle a few hours later, Jasper concentrating on navigating the city with the GPS until he pulled into a small parking lot next to Top End Chairs. Jasper pulled out his phone and called his dad, letting him know we had arrived safely, and I called my mom, who breathed a long sigh of relief. I grabbed the order forms and receipt from my bag before Jasper helped me out and we headed toward the store. Several large glass windows lined the front of the store on either side of the automatic doors. The inside was huge and open with a large, wide aisle in the center and rows of chairs on both sides. The walls were covered with accessories like helmets, clothing, bags, and spare parts for wheelchairs. Jasper pointed to a few chairs, ones made for road races, commenting on their aerodynamic design and bright colors. A man with an orange polo shirt approached us in a wheelchair.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes, my father ordered a basketball chair and I'm here to pick it up. We got an email yesterday saying it was ready."

"Sure, come over to the counter," he said, spinning his chair around and going behind a counter. I pulled up to it, noticing how low it was. The man typed a few keys on a computer and then asked me my name and order number. I gave him the information and he entered it. "I see an order for a Paul Schulte Signature. Is that all you ordered?"

"Yes."

"Let me go get it from the back, hang on," he smiled and went toward the back of the store.

Jasper leaned against the counter and looked around. "They've got some really nice chairs," he said, scanning the store.

"Really expensive chairs," I muttered under my breath. The man returned, dragging a maroon and gray chair behind him. Jasper jogged over to him, taking the chair for him and pushing it over to the counter.

"Check it over and make sure the specs are what you ordered," the guy instructed and I moved over to where Jasper stood with it. I had to admit, it was sleek looking, the metallic paint sparkled under the store's lights, the tires were a pure black and the seat was thickly padded.

"Gesh, Cullen, you've got the Mercedes of wheelchairs here," Jasper joked as he looked it over. "This thing is sweet."

Laughing, I ran my hand along the wheels and the footrest and compared it all to the specs on the form. Satisfied it all matched, I nodded to the worker. "Looks great."

"Awesome, let me just have you sign a few things and you can be on your way." He moved back behind the counter and printed out a paper for me to sign. Once I had, he took it and gave me a copy. "These are Sam's colors, are you playing for him?"

"Yeah," I nodded as I folded the paper. "Just started."

"He's great. Always has a good team. You'll enjoy it," he smiled. "Do you need anything else? Gloves, helmet, clothing?"

"Nope, this was it," I replied. "Thanks for your help."

"Actually," Jasper spoke up. "I'm running a half marathon to raise money for his medical bills and other expenses, and I was wondering if the store would like to make a donation?"

I couldn't believe the professional, confident voice Jasper had as he outright asked a stranger for money. Then I saw his half smile, just enough so one dimple was visible and his eyes lit up. Both evidence he was a man on a mission.

"Actually, the store does do some sponsorships, but it's the owner you need to talk to. I'll get you his email and number and you can call him," the man replied, grabbing a pen and piece of paper.

"Great, thanks a lot," Jasper smiled. "I appreciate it."

"No problem. I know how expensive it is. Here you go," he handed Jasper the paper. "If you have any questions or problems with the chair, let us know."

"Thanks." I turned to Jasper, who was gliding the new chair back and forth. "Ready?"

He nodded and followed me out to the truck. He lifted me in and then put both chairs in the back. Hearing him move around in the bed of the truck, I looked through the window and saw him using bungee cords to secure the new chair so it would bang around. Once he was satisfied, he climbed out. He got inside and put on his seatbelt.

"Want to get some lunch? I saw a pizza place a few blocks back." He started up the truck and backed out of the parking spot.

"Sounds good. I'm starving."

He turned onto the street and headed the way we had come, pulling over about four blocks later in front of Piecora's Pizza. After helping me into the chair, we went inside, the delicious scent of spices and baked dough hitting us. There were a few booths against the wall and some wooden tables scattered in the middle. There was a counter in front of us with a brightly colored menu hanging above it. There were a few other people in there, one family and a few couples.

"What can I get for ya?" a teenage boy asked with a pen in his hand.

We ordered a large pepperoni and sausage and two sodas. Jasper pulled out his wallet and handed over the money. The boy said he would call us when the pizza was done, and I followed Jasper to a table with four chairs. Before Jasper sat down and opened a soda, he pushed one of the chairs aside so I could pull up the table.

"You know this is the first time I've gone out to eat since the accident," I told him, taking a sip of my drink. "Well, there was Ronaldo's, but that didn't work out."

"Fucking assholes," Jasper muttered, and I couldn't help but smile at his protectiveness. I watched him as he drank his soda and twisted a paper napkin tightly around his finger, only to undo it and then do it again. It might not have been the most ideal of locations, but I needed to know what was going on with him. Lifting my hand, I covered his and stopped his motion. His eyes immediately darted to the counter and the men working behind it, then back to me, questioning my public touch. I ignored his unspoken question and asked one of my own.

"What's got you so distracted lately?"

He lifted his eyes to mine, a smile teasing his lips. "You."

Exhaling, I shook my head. "No, it's not sex. It's something else. What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he assured me.

"Jas?" I pressed him. His stubbornness wouldn't let him give anything up too easily.

He glanced away, and then sighed. "It's nothing to worry about."

"Damn it, you give me a hard time about shit like this. Fucking tell me," I growled lowly so as not to draw any more attention than a boy in a wheelchair holding another boy's hand already did. Swallowing, he eyed me for a long minute, his hand automatically upturning and lacing his fingers with mine.

Lowering his head, he stared at our clasped hands before quietly saying, "The first track meet is coming up next Wednesday."

Jasper had done a lot of meets, and sometimes he would anxious with extra energy right before them, but I'd never seen him nervous about one that was days away, not even the state championship meet the year before. He was confident in his ability, he knew he was fast, he knew hardly anyone could touch him in the three races he ran, unless there was some new track star, I didn't know why he would be worried this time and not others.

"You've never been worried about a meet before."

"It's different now," he answered almost absently, his thumb stroking mine.

"How?"

He shrugged. "I've got more on my mind now than before, I might not be as prepared as I should be."

My boy was pushing himself beyond his limits between school, track practice, seeing me daily, getting pledges, working with his dad, and taking me to basketball practice. So much of what he was carrying on his shoulders was because of me. Before my accident, there were rare days when we didn't see each other after school, but now Jasper was at my house every spare second he had. I gazed at his tired face, even with his downcast eyes, I knew the weariness that fogged them. I was causing his exhaustion, he was so tired because of me. I was the burden I didn't want to be.

Finally, he raised his eyes to mine and gave me a smile, squeezing my hand. "I'm fine, baby, don't worry."

"Is that all there is?"

"Not exactly." I waited for him to continue on his own, knowing he would in his own time. "I was…well, I was kind of hoping that you…that you wouldcomewatchme," he blurted out before chewing nervously on the inside of his cheek. "Ya know, like you used to."

"You want me to come watch the meet?"

"Yeah."

"I wouldn't miss it, love," I said softly.

Grinning, practically fucking beaming, he said, "Really? You'll come?"

"I'll be there with pompoms to cheer you on," I replied.

"I just didn't know with the chair, if you'd feel uncomfortable going," he admitted.

"I don't think I can get to the bleachers, but I can watch from the ground, or up on the hill. I wouldn't miss seeing you kick some ass for anything."

"Thanks," he sighed again, only that time it was with contentment.

I studied him for a moment. "You got some serious balls."

"What do you mean?"

"You just…at the store, you just asked them for money. I could never do that," I explained. "It takes a lot of guts to do that."

"Well, donations aren't just going to appear, I have to ask if I want them. The worst thing they can say is 'no thanks'. I figured if that place specializes in sport wheelchairs, they might support something like what I'm doing," he answered nonchalantly.

"It's still pretty fucking cool," I smiled.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Leaning forward he asked, "Does it turn you on?" But before I could answer, a guy behind the counter called out that our pizza was done.

Jasper got it and returned with the box, some plates and more napkins. I shook my head as he handed me a small stack of them, as he always did when we ate pizza. We both clearly remembered the day we were doing homework in my room when my mother burst in and bitched me out about ruining another pair of jeans from wiping my greasy fingers on my thighs.

"Looks good," I said, opening the box and inhaling the scent of freshly baked pizza. Jasper moaned as he bit into it, and I swear his eyes almost rolled back into his head. "You look like you're coming." His eyes grew wide and he started choking on his food. Leaning over I whacked his back. "You okay?"

With tears in his eyes, he finally swallowed. "Jesus, you can't shit like that in public," he scolded me with blushing cheeks.

"Well, you did. Must be really good pizza to make you jizz," I continued to taunt him.

"Must be the sausage," he tossed back. It didn't take long before we were giggling like girls over our stupid sexual innuendo, not giving a damn who heard in a city where no one knew us. We finished all but two slices, which Jasper had boxed to bring home with us.

"I should use the bathroom before we go, I'm overdue," I said. "But I didn't bring the bag in."

"I'll go grab it," he said standing.

When he returned, I took the bag and went down the small hallway under the restroom sign. Pushing the door the men's room open, I was relieved to see a large stall with a working lock on it. I used the catheter, working quickly, and then washed up and went back out to Jasper. I found him with his arms folded on the table and his chin resting on them with his eyes closed.

"Jas?"

His head snapped up and he yawned. "Ready?"

At the truck, he lifted me in, put my chair in the back and then got in. Before he started, he texted his father to let him know we were heading back toward Forks and would be home about eight. I called my mother and updated her, telling her we had gotten the chair and eaten lunch, and I would see her in about four hours. She told me to be careful and then said she loved me before hanging up. We buckled up and Jasper backed out, turning on the GPS to guide us home.

His hand snuck into mine and that's where it remained.

"**~~**"

"You can't be serious," he exclaimed, shaking his head in obvious disappointment.

"Totally am," I laughed. "I had a total crush on him."

"Edward, I'm sorry, but we're done," he smiled. Gasping, I put a hand over my heart. Of course, my other was still entwined with his on the seat. "We can't see each other any longer." He shook his head disbelievingly. "I can't believe we've been together all this time and I didn't know this about you. It's just…shocking. And sacrilegious."

Laughter bubbled out of me, my upper body shaking with it. The darkness of twilight surrounded the truck as we sped along the curvy one two lane highway less than an hour from home, and while The Beatles played, Jasper and I debated over who was hotter, Batman or Superman. It had gotten quite heated at times.

"Kent has a better body," I argued. "And his powers are real. He didn't need a utility belt."

"Two words for you," Jasper glanced at me with a wink, "leather codpiece."

I countered with, "Black-framed glasses."

He groaned and threw his head back. "Ugh! Wayne had to work his ass off to do what he did. Kent was just 'oh, gee, I'm super strong and can leap tall buildings in single bound'."

"Yeah, but Wayne's abs were only in his suit," I retorted playfully. "Kent's were all natural, baby."

"He was a fucking alien," Jasper cried out.

"A hot one," I grinned.

"Wayne was rich beyond words, Kent was a farmer's son," Jasper tried a different tactic.

"Mmm, all tan and dusty."

"Your unreal," Jasper laughed, the joyful sound filling the cab. I couldn't help but laugh along with him.

My body was turned slightly in the seat as I watched him drive, one hand relaxing on the top of the wheel, the other in mine between us. His window was about half way down, and the wind coming in whipped his hair around his face, sending it blowing in every direction. He didn't seem to care, but I thought it might be distracting. Leaning over, I used my free hand to capture some of his tangled waves and tuck them behind his ear, taking a little longer than necessary with the silky strands. Just then "Maybe I'm Amazed" came on the stereo and Jasper turned to me with his blue eyes bright and clear and just fucking happy. The exhaustion from earlier was gone, the worry I'd seen in him had morphed into nothing but devotion and love. My finger dragged down his neck in a light caress and he smiled at the tender touch. He was so beautiful, the way he slid his eyes to mine and smiled with dimples.

I didn't know how he did it, whether it was his own superpower or fate intervening, but right then I saw our future together. Flashes of us going to classes, cooking dinner, watching movies, and cuddling on the couch. It was a simple life, perhaps not the one I had imagined prior to the accident, but it was one of happiness and love. And after four months of dreading the next day, much less my future, I finally let myself hope that Jasper just might be by my side forever after all. Entranced by his dazzling smile, I tilted my head and sighed. Something in front of us caught my eye.

I saw the blinding headlights coming directly at us just before he did.

"JASPER!"

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

WN was featured in an article on sexuality and paralysis on the PPSS http:/www DOT pervpackssmutshack DOT com/2011/04/we-here-in-shack-love-reading-smut-and DOT html?zx=e0f954fb54e4ed88 (link also in profile)

The Slash Awards Round Three will be starting soon. Categories are up, and nominations will start on April 23rd. Go check it out! http:/theslashawards DOT blogspot DOT com/

Top End Chairs exists, but not in Seattle. I used a wee bit of creative license there. http:/www DOT topendwheelchair DOT com/