If on a Winter's Night

by Touchstone67

One fateful, winter's night, Edward and Jasper's lives are turned upside down. Is their relationship strong enough to withstand the aftermath, or will they be driven apart forever? Rated M for sexual situations, language. AH J/E slash

21. Something In The Way He Moves

Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.

A/N-My apologies for the cliffie last chapter, I hope the why it had to end there is clear here, if not, then please feel free to ask me in a rev or PM. This chapter picks up with them driving home, but does include some flashbacks while they're driving. The boy has a lot on his young mind. Chapter is a bit dialogue heavy.

There's been a rush of alerts and favs for these boys lately, thank you all! This chapter is unbeta'd, all mistakes, grammatical and otherwise, are mine.

Special thanks to Dannie, who stuck by me for so long with this story, if it wasn't for her encouragement and faith in my writing, these boys wouldn't be here.

Now Jasper pov

"**~~**"

If on a winter's night I could fight the darkness for him…

"**~~**"

I was beyond exhausted.

My body was tired from running, driving, and lack of sleep. My mind was worn from the guilt I had been carrying from actually considering accepting the scholarship I had been offered to OSU. I felt I had no choice. I hadn't heard from any other school, and even if I did, the odds of getting the same kind of offer weren't likely.

How could I do it? How could I tell my parents I was turning down so much money for friendship? And if I didn't do that, how could I tell Edward that I was giving up on the dream we had shared for two years, the one that he had worked his ass off to help us reach? The reason he was in the fucking accident to begin with was because he was earning money for us. How could I walk away from that?

But none of that mattered as I sat next to Edward on our way home from Seattle with his new chair strapped safely in the bed of the truck. The highway stretched before us and I let my mind wander to the past week, every second leading me to exactly where I was, exactly where I wanted to be.

After Edward had called to ask if I could drive him to Seattle to pick up his chair, I immediately went to find my dad. He was in the garage loading up his work truck for the next day.

"Hey," he nodded when I walked in. "Can you grab those two-by-fours?"

"Sure." I went over the pile and grabbed a few boards and slid them into the long bed of his truck. "I need a favor."

"What's up?" He leaned against the truck and took off his work gloves.

"Edward ordered a chair for basketball and it's going to be ready on Saturday. He wants to know if I can drive him to pick it up. His dad is working."

"Saturday?"

"Yeah."

"Where?"

I looked down at my feet, unable to stop my toe when it rubbed along the cement floor. "Seattle," I murmured, slowly raising my eyes to his.

"Seattle? As in four hours away?"

"That would be the one," I muttered. He sighed and brushed the sawdust off his jeans. "I'll be careful."

"Oh, I know you will. I know you wouldn't let anything happen to Edward." I watched him, biting my lip, as he thought about it.

"I'll pay for the gas," I offered, trying to sweeten the deal.

"That's a given," he smiled. "Okay, here's the deal. You can go, but you have to call me the second you arrive in Seattle and right before you leave. I also want you home by eight."

"Deal," I jumped to agree. "No problem." I turned to help him finish loading the truck.

"Jasper?"

"Yeah?"

"Be careful."

"I will."

When I called Edward later to tell him, I heard the relief in his voice when he thanked me. I knew spending four hours in a car with his mother was not his idea of good time.

At Edward's practice two days later, I was on the bleachers watching my boy. He was still amazing.

The distraction of watching Edward play had given me a reprieve from my thoughts about college. Since I'd gotten the letter from OSU, I had barely thought of anything else. Hundreds of questions raced through my mind, each one leading to another, and all of them eventually led back to Edward and what it would mean for us. My parents were hard workers, they earned decent money, but college wasn't cheap for anyone, and being able to save a hundred and forty thousand dollars was too much to turn down.

It seemed it was all coming down to which was more important. Love or money?

Unlike Edward, I hadn't yet been accepted to UW, and I worried that if I turned down the chance at OSU, then didn't get into UW or couldn't afford it, that I would have missed the chance of a lifetime. I couldn't do that. Edward wouldn't want me to.

Which was exactly what scared the shit out of me.

If Edward knew about the scholarship, he would beam with pride, and then promptly tell me I should go, it was my chance and I needed to take it.

But how could I take it without him by my side? It wasn't supposed to be that way. We were supposed to be together, taking classes and studying, waking up every morning and cooking breakfast. I wasn't ashamed to admit I needed him by side every bit as much as he did me. Rationally, I knew that four hours apart wasn't much, but it was four hours too far. What if he needed me? Who would be there for him?

Who would be there for me?"

Shaking my head, I forced my focus back to Edward on the court.

There was seriously something in the way he moved that went straight to my cock. If I tried to analyze it, I could break it down into the fluidity and coordination of his muscles and body, the way he looked with a film of sweat covering his pale skin, and even his scent that wafted across the gym. Each factor was powerful on its own, but together they were a lethal combination for me, and my dick stirred to life the second he made his first shot, and was aching by the time he took off his sweatshirt. I attempted to think about something else, anything else, but it was useless. I almost creamed my jeans when he reached up, his long arms extending all the way to his fingertips and they brushed along the bottom of the ball, knocking it to the side enough for Edward to grab.

I smirked at the surprised looked on Riley's face.

My boy impressed him.

The zipper cut painfully into my erection and I debated going to the restroom to jerk off. It wouldn't have taken any longer than a few strokes, but I didn't want it to be my hand doing those strokes, I wanted it to be Edward's.

And less than an hour later it was.

I couldn't remember the last time I'd been so desperate for his touch. It was primal, nothing romantic about it, I needed his hand on my cock and his mouth on mine. He didn't question it, he just gave me what I needed, stroking me hard and fast. After I came and cleaned up, I drove us home, listening to him talk about practice.

"So what did you think about Riley?"

"He seems nice," I shrugged.

"Anything else?"

"Like?" I glanced over and saw his raised brow. "Fine. He's got nice eyes."

"You know what he did with those nice eyes?"

"What?"

"He noticed a mark on my neck."

"Oh. Ah, sorry," I grinned, not the slightest bit sorry that another guy had seen my mark on Edward.

"I don't think you are," he smirked. "He said my girlfriend must have gotten feisty. I told him she had great lips and huge tits."

"Fuck off, you did not," I replied, only slightly worried he was telling the truth. When he didn't respond, I glanced at him. "You didn't really, did you? Though I do have a nice rack."

Edward chuckled. "Nice eyes, huh?"

"Yeah, nice eyes," I repeated. "I admit he fills out a tank top quite nicely, but…"

"But?"

"He ain't no Edward Cullen."

"Dork," he laughed, reaching over to shove my shoulder. "Hey, how much homework do you have?"

"All of it," I sighed.

"When you drop me off, come down to my room."

"For round two?" I asked hopefully.

"No, so you can copy my homework. I've got physics, calculus, and history done. We had to read for English. That only leaves your WWII class."

"Baby?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you," I murmured, then lifted his hand to my lips and kissed it.

"Love you too," he smiled. "But next time, bring your homework."

"Ugh! Watching you play is way more fun."

The next day I handed in all my homework assignments, not surprised when I got everything right. Later that day, Edward and I had just sat down at the lunch table when Bella joined us.

"Where's Newton?"

"He's coming," she said, attempting to open her juice and handing it to Edward when she couldn't. He easily unscrewed the top and handed it back to her.

"Do you want to tell her?" I asked Edward and he nodded.

"Tell me what?"

"I'm on a wheelchair basketball team," Edward announced with an uncontained hint of pride in his voice.

"Seriously?" she squealed, bouncing in her seat. "Where?"

"Port Angeles. A team that Jasper found for me. I've been to a few practices, even ordered a new chair for it."

"Wow, that's so cool!" Her excitement was genuine, she beamed for her ex-boyfriend, a boy who undoubtedly still held a piece of her heart. "When is your first game?"

"A few weeks, I think."

"Can I come?"

That question was one I hadn't expected, but I shouldn't have been surprised. Even when they weren't dating, she had gone to all his Spartan games.

"Sure. Maybe you can ride with us," Edward offered without hesitation. "Right, Jasper?"

"Yeah, sure."

She grinned and nodded. "I can't wait."

Just then Newton, Eric and Angela appeared with their trays. Newton plopped in a chair next to Bella, giving her a smile before he looked pointedly at me.

"You really going to run a thirteen mile race?" Newton asked.

Bella gasped, then tossed me a shocked look. "You are?"

"Damn right I am," I replied, then asked Mike. "How'd you find out?"

"Dude, it's all over the fucking school," he scoffed.

"Seriously?"

"Yep."

I looked at Edward and he shrugged. "Wasn't me."

"I told my coach yesterday to get some advice, he must have said something," I thought aloud.

"Thirteen miles is insane," Eric said, shaking his head and Newton agreed.

"I'm running to raise money for Edward's medical bills and some other stuff, like a car," I announced.

Staring at Edward, Bella tilted her head. "That's pretty great. How much are you hoping to raise?"

"At least thirty thousand." Her juice went spraying all over the table as she coughed at my answer.

"Thirty thousand?" they all asked simultaneously.

"Yep."

"That's ambitious," Bella replied.

Edward finally spoke up. "I think he can do it."

"Me too," Angela agreed, whacking Eric's knee until he said the same thing.

"Thanks, guys," I yawned, then looked at Mike. "Think your parents would donate?"

He shrugged. "I don't see why not. They like to do community shit like that. I think they've held races before. Come by after school, my mom will be there."

"I'll be by after practice," I replied. They continued to drill me about the distance and how it was physically possible for someone to run that far until the bell rang.

At practice after school, I reviewed the ideas I had written down the night before when I had gone online and researched on training for marathons. I had to adjust them to fit the short time I had to train in, and it meant I had to start running at least five miles a day, about twice what I normally ran. It wasn't out of my range, something could do only getting slightly winded, but it was going to take longer than I was used to, and delay me getting to Edward's. Instead of a warm up lap, I stretched for a few extra minutes and then headed out onto the track, closing down all thoughts except keeping my pace and breathing.

As soon as practice was done, I tossed my bag into the truck and drove to Newton's store. He was at the counter when I came in and nodded to me.

"I'll go get my mom," he said before disappearing out back. I leaned against the counter to wait, unable to stop my eyes from closing in the minute it took for his mother to come out.

"Mr. Whitlock, good to see you. How's school?"

I didn't know Mrs. Newton very well. Since most of the parties I went to at Mike's had happened when his parents were out of town, I hadn't seen her too much, but I knew her from the store and I knew she knew the Cullen's.

"Pretty good, thanks."

"Good. Now, what can I do for you? Looking for a job?"

"Actually, no." I picked up one of the race flyers off the counter. "I'm running in this to raise money for the Cullen's medical expenses, as well as the expenses for their alterations to their house and for a car for Edward, and I was wondering if you would be willing to donate?"

"You're running the half marathon to raise money for Edward?"

"Yes."

She pushed her hair off her face, tucking the strands behind her ear. "That's quite honorable."

"Thanks," I gave her my 'aw shucks' voice that Edward often teased me about.

"How are you training for it?"

"Well, I've got track practice every day anyway, so I'm going to start using it to help train for this. I've got a schedule planned out so I'll be ready."

"Will you finish?"

"Definitely," I answered confidently. Though, right then, I couldn't walk a mile much less run thirteen.

"Tell ya what," she began. "We have everything you would need for training here, so I'll make a deal with you. We'll provide you with all the gear you need, including sneakers, and I'll give you a thousand dollar check right now if you agree to let us sponsor you and you wear something from our store the day of the race."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Wow, that's awesome, thanks."

"Do we have a deal?"

"Yes, definitely," I nodded, shaking her hand.

"Let me go get that check. Why don't you have a look around, see if there's anything you need," she suggested. While she went out back, I went over the rack with the UnderAmour and picked out the long sleeved one I couldn't afford before. She returned to the counter and found me waiting there with the shirt.

"That's it? No sneakers or socks or anything?"

"No, this is good, thanks."

She bagged it and then wrote something down and then handed me a check made out to me for one thousand dollars. I'd never held so much money before.

"Thanks, Mrs. Newton. This is great, I appreciate it."

"My pleasure. If you need anything else, let me know," she smiled.

"I will, thanks," I said, taking my bag. Mike was unpacking a box when I turned around and I nodded to him as I walked by. "See ya, Newton."

"See ya," he replied and I walked out.

When I arrived at Edward's later, I fell onto his lap, my head barely landing on his shoulder before my eyes began to close. He let me nap, but woke me up for dinner and to do homework. Quietly sitting on his bed, I tried to concentrate on the work we were doing, but my mind kept jumping around and I lost what little focus I had. He glanced up at me from his book a few times, but it wasn't until I sighed that he asked what was wrong.

I should have known he would notice. Just like I could tell when something was bothering him, I should have realized he would too. Lowering my eyes so they couldn't betray me when I lied, I told him I was just tired. After assuring him everything was fine, I crawled out to the truck and drove home, collapsing on my bed without even undressing.

Thursday went similar, I went yawned my way through school, ran my ass off at track, then went to Edward's to bring him to his practice. I arrived on his doorstep and helped him into the truck, noticing he had his backpack with him, but didn't find out why until we arrived in Port Angeles.

"Got your homework?" he asked as I shifted into park.

"Yeah." Not that I had any intention of doing any of it.

"Good, bring it inside," he said firmly.

"But-" I started to whine, but then saw him digging through his bag, pulling out books.

"Here's our calc, history, and physics homework. You need to read twenty pages for English and be prepared for a quiz tomorrow," he said as he piled the books on the seat. He was letting me copy his homework again.

"Baby-"

"Don't. Yeah, I know it's not right and all that shit, but nothing is right anymore. It's not right that I'm paralyzed, it's not right that you're running yourself into the ground, literally, because of me. Driving me everywhere, getting donations. Helping you out on some homework is the fucking least I can do," he finished with a sigh.

As much as I needed the help with the homework, I knew he needed to give it to me, it was something he could do help me, not the other way around. There was no way I wouldn't accept his offer.

I leaned over his books and curved my hand behind his neck, drawing him to me for a kiss. My lips brushed over his a few times before my tongue entered and swept it over his, filling my mouth with his taste. Sliding his hand up my arm, his fingers twisted in the ends of my hair and I moaned into the kiss when he tugged on them a little. The corner of the books cut into my abs as I moved closer to him, deepening the kiss.

"Thanks, baby," I mumbled against his lips as I pulled away, but didn't break contact. The soft tufts of hair at the nape of his neck slipped through my grasp as I angled his head and kissed him again. Offering no resistance, he returned my need with equal fervor, our noses bumping with the sudden desperation that filled the cab. Tearing my mouth from his, I moved my lips along his jaw.

"Practice," he stuttered between breaths, reminding himself. "Need to go."

Placing my lips at his ear, I outlined the shell before whispering, "You're mine after practice, Cullen." Pulling back, I took in the flush on his cheeks and the growing lust in his eyes. "C'mon, let's get you inside."

I gathered his books and put them into my bag, then slung it on to my back before getting him into his chair. We entered the gym and I took my usual spot on the bleachers while Edward joined the team. While the team talked, I took out my homework and sighed. When I saw Edward and Riley make their way down the other end of the court, my eyes drifted up from the physics problems I was copying and I watched my boy move. It only took a few warm up shots before I was shifting my weight and moving a book to strategically cover up my growing erection. They both took some shots, rebounding for the other, and then they started playing some light one on one. When Edward tossed his sweatshirt off, he looked over at me and caught me staring and shook his head. With a coy shrug, I looked down at the books, keeping my head lowered while my eyes strayed back up and watched Edward through my lashes.

Guilt wracked me then, but not because I was still keeping the scholarship a secret. My first track meet of the season was less than a week away and I wanted Edward there more than anything, but as I watched him moving in his chair, his portable prison, I was at a loss as to how to ask the boy that had lost his legs to come watch me use mine. There was no doubt he would come even if it killed him, and that's what bothered me. He would suffer through the pain in order to support me.

By the time he was done I had gotten most of the homework copied, but none of the reading done. Silently, we made our way to the truck. Without a word, I shoved our bags onto the floor and straddled Edward. Just as eager as me, he took off his sweatshirt, undid my pants and pulled my hard cock out, groaning when his thumb swiped over the slit. We kissed while my hips bucked and jerked with an awkward rhythm into his tight grip, my blunt nails dug into the hard muscles of his bare shoulders when he quickened his pace. My hips pumped erratically as my tongue twisted with his. He swallowed my cries when my orgasm hit me, my cock releasing thick, warm streams of cum between us, landing mostly on his chest. Grunting, I convulsed through each wave of, letting him milk me until I softened in his hands. Using the towel I had brought, I wiped us clean and then kissed him again. Finally, I stuffed my dick back into my pants and moved back to my side. I started the truck and looked at Edward, his head lolled to the side as he stared at me.

"Get your homework done?" he chuckled.

"Thanks to you," I grinned and grabbed his hand.

For the first time in weeks, we spent a Friday night apart. After practice, I had gone to a few businesses and gathered some more donations, then stopped by Edward's for dinner and an intense make out session in his room. It was hard to leave him, his hair mussed from my hands, his clothes rumpled from my body rubbing along his, but with one final kiss, I headed home.

No matter how busy I stayed, the scholarship offer lurked in my mind the entire time. It was only when Edward's hands were on my body that I was able to run from the ache that had settled in me. I dreaded going home Friday night, knowing that being alone in my room was going to lead to thoughts I wanted to avoid.

I was at my desk when my mother poked her head in. "Don't forget, May first is the acceptance deadline."

"Yeah, I know," I snapped, then sighed and turned around. "Sorry, just tired."

"You've got a lot going on," she accepted with a shrug. "Once you make this decision, things will get easier."

No, they wouldn't. I would either worry about telling Edward that I wasn't going to college with him or face making my parents pay for college. Even the dreamer in me wouldn't allow me to think of the possibility of getting a scholarship to UW. Life just didn't work out that way.

"Maybe," I gave her, not wanting to argue either way about it. Instead of leaving, she came in and sat down on my bed.

"Jasper, I know why this is hard for you."

"You do?" I choked out.

"You feel guilty," she said quietly.

Dropping my eyes to my lap, I swallowed thickly. "How can I do it, Mom? What if he needs me? How can I take a scholarship when his was taken away? I feel like it's a slap to his face." My voice was barely audible, but she heard every word. She probably knew my reply before I had even spoke.

"I'm sure he would understand, he's not going to hold an opportunity like this against you. As for him needing you, maybe it would be a good thing for him to gain some independence from you." My eyes shot to hers and I couldn't stop the hard glare I gave her. "I'm just saying he has become very dependent on you, maybe some time apart would be good for him."

"He's my best friend, I don't care if he's dependent on me. I depend on him too," I implored harshly.

She studied me for a few long seconds and then nodded. "You need to make the decision based on what you want, Jasper. Not what you feel you need to do. Opportunities like this don't come around often, and true friendship can survive separation." Reaching out, she patted my knee, then stood and left.

"Fuck," I growled, pushing some books off my desk onto the floor with a satisfying thud.

Her words sliced through me with a logical awareness that my love for Edward often blinded. She wasn't saying it because of money, she hadn't even mentioned that, she honestly thought that Edward might be better off without me, at least temporarily.

And it fucking scared the shit out of me that she might be right.

Sleep was nonexistent that night. I tossed and turned in my bed, the sheets twisting around me until I kicked them off. No matter how tightly I clenched my eyes, or tried to convince myself that my mother was right, all I saw was Edward's tears as I told him I wasn't going to college with him, that I was taking our future away from us.

The entire drive to Seattle, it was all I thought about. Edward chattered next to me, mostly about basketball, and I commented and laughed with him, but it didn't matter. I didn't fool him. He knew something was wrong, just like he had all week. He couldn't stand it anymore and asked me at the pizza place. Unable to escape his knowing eyes, I told him what had been bothering me, at least partially. Just like I knew he would, he said he would be at the meet to cheer me on, and he quickly tried to hide the flash of pain that danced through his forest eyes.

Somehow telling Edward about the meet lightened the weight on me, though part of me felt all I had really done was unfairly transferred it from me to Edward. But when we left, his mood was good, he smiled and laughed as we climbed into the truck and headed for the highway. The sun had fallen behind the tree line as we entered the two lane highway. The headlights on the truck automatically turned on once it had gotten dark enough. The entire drive was filled with nothing but teasing as we debated the hotness of Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne, though in my opinion there was no real debate. Bruce Wayne was clearly the sexier of the two.

"You can't be serious!"

"Totally am," he laughed. "I had a total crush on him."

"Edward, I'm sorry, but we're done," I taunted, smiling when he put his hand over his heart even as he held my other. "We can't see each other any longer. I can't believe we've been together all this time and I didn't know this about you. It's just…shocking. And sacrilegious."

He laughed, free and loud and every inch of the cab filled with a sound more beautiful than anything ever heard.

"Kent has a better body," he countered. "And his powers are real. He didn't need a utility belt."

"Two words for you…leather codpiece."

"Black-framed glasses."

I groaned in frustration. "Ugh! Wayne had to work his ass off to do what he did. Kent was just 'oh, gee, I'm super strong and can leap tall buildings in single bound'."

"Yeah, but Wayne's abs were only in his suit. Kent's were all natural, baby."

"He was a fucking alien," I shot back.

"A hot one."

Perhaps it was time for a different approach. "Wayne was rich beyond words, Kent was a farmer's son."

"Mmm, all tan and dusty."

"You're unreal," I laughed.

Even with all that was going on in our lives, nothing mattered to me more than him, his happiness, his health, his life. I wanted to tell him he was my very own Superman, minus the black framed glasses. He was certainly filling out his shirts just as nicely as Kent did. Half turned in the seat to face me while we argued, he leaned against the door, the seatbelt cutting across his firm torso. My window was half way down, the cool breeze from outside doing wonders to stave off the exhaustion that I seemed unable to shake. After a quiet moment, he reached toward me, his fingers capturing a few waves as they blew around my face and he tenderly tucked them behind my ear before running his hand down my neck, sending a strong tremble through me. Our song came on the stereo and I glanced at my boy and he looked just so…happy.

Edward looked happy.

It had taken months of convincing him his new life was worth living, that I needed him even if he didn't need me, that he could do whatever he did before, just differently. But it was there, buried deep in his jewel eyes was a glimmer of happiness that showed in the flush on his face and the smile on his lips.

In that second, in those very eyes, I saw his vision of us together. The future we had both imagined for the past two years, only altered to make the adjustment for his new body. Instead of us running together, he wheeled and I walked, instead of his hips thrusting into mine, I straddled him, instead of racing up the stairs, I carried him. He would never accept fate's cruel twist, but he might just accept our life together, even if it was different. It wasn't the future either of us had ever expected to have, but it was the one we had been dealt, and it was being handed to us.

We just had to be brave enough to reach out and grab it, and then hold on to each other really fucking tight.

I saw the headlights coming at us right before he screamed my name. Instinctively, I dropped his hand and grabbed the wheel with both of mine, yanking it sharply to the right and swerving the truck out of the path of the oncoming car. The other car's horn blared as it passed us and I pulled over to the shoulder of the highway, my heart pounding so hard that I felt it thundering against my ribs. Every part of my body was pumped full of adrenaline as it rushed through me, feeding my tired muscles with an energy and strength I had never experienced before. It had all been so quick and so slow at the same time. Exhaling, I shifted into park and flicked the hazard lights on before turning to Edward. He was cowering in the seat, both his arms folded up over his face, the sobs he was releasing were muffled by his sweatshirt.

"Oh, Jesus," I murmured. Fumbling, with shaking hands, I undid my seatbelt and slid across to the seat, taking him into my arms. He resisted, pushing me away and twisting his upper body from my embrace.

"No!" he screamed in the most terrified voice I'd ever heard.

Using the strength from the rush I was getting, I forced him to me, my arms holding him tight. He fought me with every ounce of his new strength. Before I might have been able to challenge him, but Edward was stronger than me now. Easing my hold on him slightly, I cupped his face in my hands, the tears streaming down his cheeks dampened my palms.

"Baby, it's me, we're okay, everything's okay," I whispered desperately. He thrashed his head side to side but I refused to let him go. His fingers dug into my forearms as he tried to get me to release him. "Edward, it's Jasper. Look at me, open your eyes." His entire upper body was shaking violently, but his fingers loosened their grip on my arms and his head stopped moving. "That's it, baby. Come back to me," I murmured into the air between us. His hands dropped from my arms and went to my waist where he clutched the cloth of shirt. Ragged breaths wracked him as he slowly opened his eyes. The happiness that had filled them only minutes before had been replaced with sheer terror. "I'm so sorry, this is all my fault."

"Jasper?" he breathed.

Jesus, what had I done? With one look to him, taking my eyes off the road for just a few seconds, and I had put him back into that horrible place he'd barely escaped from the first time. Guilt started to seep through me following in the footsteps of the adrenaline. I'd never had an accident, never even a close call until then. I'd become lax in my driving, as I suppose all teenagers do, though unlike them, I knew I wasn't invincible, I knew exactly what could happened when you were in an accident.

I looked into the eyes of the end result every day.

And yet, I'd still let myself be lulled into thinking it couldn't happen again. Not to him.

Apparently, I was wrong. I could happen to anyone at anytime.

"Yeah, baby, it's me. I'm here. Everything's okay," I assured him. Then his wide eyes snapped to the windshield.

"The car, it was coming at us," he remembered with a quivering voice. "It was going to hit us just like before."

"It didn't. We're fine." With those words, he collapsed onto me, falling against me forcefully as he wrapped his arms around my neck and used his strength to tether me to him. Burying his face into my neck, he cried. I rubbed his back and stroked his hair until I felt his hold on me relax and then I whispered in his ear. "Baby, we need to get back on the road, but I can't bring you home like this. I'm going to call my dad and tell him we're going to be a little late." He nodded and I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone, calling my father with Edward wrapped around me.

"Hey, Dad."

"Hey, everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine, but we're going to get something to eat on the way back so we might be later than eight, is that okay?" I hoped my voice didn't betray my own nerves.

"Sure, don't be too late."

"I won't. Bye."

"Bye."

Hanging up, I put my phone on the dash and grabbed Edward's bag, fishing out his phone. While he clung to me, I brought up his text messages and sent one to his mother, telling her the same thing. She replied almost immediately, telling him have fun. With our parents contacted, I grabbed Edward's arms and untangled myself from them. He resisted the urge to grab me again and let me put his hands in his lap.

"I need to drive. I want to get off the side of the road, are you okay?" He nodded, but the trembling of his body told me otherwise. His eyes were fixed on me and nothing outside the truck. "Do you want to move closer?" Again, he nodded. I undid his seatbelt and put my hands under his arms and dragged him across the seat until he was next to me. After straightening out his legs, I reached over his lap and buckled his seatbelt before doing my own. With him pressed against me, his head burrowed in my shoulder, I turned off the hazard lights and pulled back out onto the empty highway.

With both hands firmly on the wheel.

The truck was eerily silent except for the stereo and Edward's occasional sniffle. I seemed hyper aware of everything going on around us. My heart had returned to a normal rate but I could still feel the adrenaline flowing through me. Taking our exit, I drove through the center of town until we reached the back road, driving a few miles down it before pulling over. Edward never moved from my side, never even lifted his head, but his hand had found its way to my lap, where his fingers bit into my thigh. Shutting the truck off, I pulled the keys out of the ignition.

"Babe, we're here," I said, leaning my head on his. He turned his head and looked out, slowly recognizing the forest even in the darkness. The meadow had been the only place I could think of where we could be alone, where Edward could have some time to calm down. "I'm going to get out and get your chair, okay?"

"I can't make it up the trail, not like this." His voice still trembled and his body still shook as he sat up straight. "I don't think I have the strength to move much less push myself up the trail.

"Then I'll carry you," I said without hesitating and reached for the door but his hand on my wrist stopped me.

"You can't carry me."

"Yes, I can," I defied him.

"Jasper, you're exhausted, you can't carry me a mile up hill," he reasoned rationally even though his voice was broken with slight gulps of air.

"I can carry you anywhere," I argued quietly.

"No, you can't. We can just sit here for awhile," he offered and my hand fell from the handle of the door. Staring at him, I judged if I could push him on it, but he looked so scared and worn that I found myself nodding slowly. I started the truck up again, making sure the heat was on and then undid our seatbelts before wrapping an arm around him. His head immediately went to my shoulder, his breaths warm and moist on my neck. Then he spoke softly.

"I don't remember much from that night. I remember talking to you on the phone, I remember being really excited because of what we were going to do, but I was nervous too. I was thinking about stuff like would it hurt and would it feel okay for you. It was snowing, not hard, but enough to keep the ground coated, and I told myself to slow down. I had music on, I think it was our song but I can't remember, and I was singing really loud. I swear I looked away for only a second to see the time on the dash and when I looked back up, there was nothing but brightness. After that, it's just flashes of lights and sounds. I felt blood running down my face and my horn going off…."

In the four months since the accident, Edward had never talked about it, at least not to me, and all I could do was hold him tightly as he relived the night that changed his life.

"I might have screamed. I could hear a voice at first, and I thought it might be you because all I could think about was getting back to you. When I woke up, I realized it was you, but it wasn't at the accident, it was at the hospital days later," he murmured.

"Were you in pain?"

"I don't think so. I was scared when I felt the blood on my face though…then nothing else. I think I passed out."

"I'm so sorry, baby. I should have been paying better attention. It was stupid of me," I sighed.

"It was my fault," he sighed. I took his hand in mine and threaded our fingers together.

"No, it's not. It's mine, I looked away."

He lifted his head and looked at me. With his free hand, he ran a finger down my cheek. "I thought you were going to die. I had just seen our future together and I thought it was being taken away. I thought you were going to be taken away from me. I don't know what I would have done without you. Who would fight the darkness…" His words were strung together, only broken by the shallow gasps he took between them.

I kissed his finger when it passed over my lips. "Tell me about our future."

He almost smiled and then began in a hushed, still trembling voice. "I was watching you drive and the wind…it was blowing your hair around and suddenly I saw us together doing stupid, everyday things like going to class and cooking dinner. It was just flashes mostly, and they were quick, but I could see every detail, like what you were wearing and how dinner smelled."

My heart ached and my breath hitched at his vision.

"Yeah?" I swallowed.

"Yeah, you were wearing my Abbey Road tee shirt and standing barefoot by the stove stirring pasta. My heart almost burst with how domestic and simple it was, but there was this sense of incredible happiness," he sighed at the end.

"Of course there was. We were together," I whispered in return, searching his eyes for that vision of us. "That's all that matters you know, that we're together."

"I know."

"I don't care where, you know that, right?"

"I know, love."

Breaching the gap between us, I kissed him briefly, feeling the shudders still traveling through him. "Tell me more."

He continued to go into great detail about what he had seen, our night spent cuddling on the couch watching television and eating popcorn. Gradually he calmed, as if the future itself became his sedative. He held my hand, he looked into my eyes, he leaned his head against mine. With each word he said, I began to realize there was no way in hell I could ever leave him, scholarship or not.

He was my boy, and wherever my boy went, so did I.

"Told you it was stupid," he said when he finally finished and I shook my head, kissing him instead.

"It sounds beautiful, and I can't wait to live it with you," I told him softly against his lips.

"Me either." He shifted until his head was resting on my shoulder and our clasped hands were on his lap. We were quiet for awhile, and Edward calmed more each minute we just sat there.

"Feel better?"

He nodded, but remained silent. The Beatles, oblivious to what had happened, still played on the stereo. John began to serenade us with "Across the Universe", telling us nothing was going to change our world when our world had already been changed. I remembered something Edward had said earlier and as much as I told myself to let it go, I couldn't.

"Baby, what's the darkness? You said 'who would fight the darkness'. What is it?" I let the question sit until he was ready to answer it. I wouldn't push him, not on that. Instead, I squeezed his hand and nuzzled his hair with my nose, whispering into the soft strands. "Babe?"

"You're going to think I'm crazy," he sighed.

"No more than I already do," I chuckled, hoping to ease his worry, but then turned more serious. "You can tell me anything, Edward, you know that."

"I know. It's just…this isn't normal."

"I don't care about normal," I reminded him.

Lifting his head off my shoulder, he looked at me. "You have to promise to not tell my parents."

"I won't," I vowed.

"No talks with my dad behind my back like you did with basketball," he frowned.

"Edward, I swear I won't say a word."

Taking a deep breath, he began his second confession of the night. "It started in the hospital, it was something like unconsciousness, as long as I was in it, I didn't have to face that what had happened. It was peaceful and quiet there. But then as I became more aware of what was going on, it became something more."

"More?"

"It became like a thing, a ghost or something that was just always around me. At first, I let it stay there, even welcomed it because when it was around, I didn't have to deal with my life, it kind of made me numb. But then it started to tell me things and I-"

"Wait," I stopped him, "It speaks to you?"

"Not literally. More like I could hear it in my head. It started to tell me that you were going to leave me and that I was going to get hurt, so I needed to leave you first."

"Aw, babe. That would never happen," I told him even as I thought about how much of a possibility it almost had been.

"I know that now, but then I couldn't understand why you wouldn't just leave. You kept coming back and I started to believe you still wanted to be with me, and the darkness faded the more you were around. But it still comes back sometimes."

"When?"

"Mostly when I doubt myself, or when something happens, like when I realized you thought of me as handicapped or when I found the bills."

"It just appears wherever you are?"

"Sometimes, but mostly it stays in my room. In the corner where the supplies are."

The guilt I already felt quadrupled when I realized he had been battling something I didn't even know existed, that he hadn't felt he could tell me about it. I believed every word he said. It made sense that it would live where the reminders of his condition were kept. All those nights he had seemed so scared, that his eyes had kept returning to the corner of his room, was because he was being taunted by the darkness.

"Sometimes it follows me, just waiting for me to let it in. It promises to keep me safe if I just listen to it."

Kissing his head, I mumbled into his hair. "Baby, why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I couldn't. It scared me and I thought you would think I was crazy."

"I would never think that," I assured him, looking around the cab and outside the truck. "Is it here now?"

He shook his head. "It's afraid of you. You usually keep it away."

While I knew what he was talking about wasn't tangible, it was all in his head, it didn't make it any less frightening for him. It was real, it existed, and it was trying to lure Edward away from me. Somehow I had broken him free of it, and intended to keep it away from him if it was the last thing I did.

"Then I'm never leaving alone you again," I whispered into the cab, as much a warning to the darkness as a promise to Edward. We both knew there would be times when Edward would be alone, until we lived together at college I couldn't be with him twenty-four seven, but every second I could, I would be with him.

"You don't think it's crazy?" he asked tentatively.

"Not at all. I think you were brave to take it on by yourself all this time. You never gave into it, you were strong than it was."

"My love for you was stronger, not me."

"Whatever worked," I chuckled. "I love you."

"Love you too," he breathed gently. "We're going to make it, aren't we?"

"Yeah, baby, we are," I agreed. "We sure are."

If possible, he moved even closer and if there had been room, I would have pulled him onto my lap, but I settled for an arm around his shoulder, his head against mine, our hands together on his lap. The tremors in Edward's body gradually faded to occasional shivers and his breaths evened and tears dried up. It was almost nine by the time I nudged him.

"Think you're okay to go? We gotta get you home," I sighed regretfully. I would have much rather stayed there alone with him.

"Yeah, I think so. Mind if I sit here though?" He reached for the seatbelt before I had even replied.

"I don't want you any place else. Eyes on me," I reminded him of how we used to drive right after the accident as I did up my seatbelt. Nodding, he stared at me, and only me, as I shifted into drive and pulled back out onto the road.

By the time we pulled into his driveway, I swear there were bruises on my thigh from his fingers digging into it. Turning the truck off, I peeled myself from him, opened the door and grabbed his chair. Instead of going to his side, I went to mine and found him still sitting where I'd left him.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," he answered, sliding across the seat enough so I could reach in and lift him out. His arms went around me and he kissed my neck before I lowered him to the chair. He waited while I returned to the bed of the truck and climbed in. Undoing his basketball wheelchair, I slid back out, pulling it with me and setting it on the ground. Edward turned and headed up the ramp and I followed him with his new chair. Opening the door, Edward entered and held it for me while I pushed the chair through. Immediately, his mother jumped off the couch and came over, hugging Edward before saying hi to me. His father followed her, smiling as he looked over the basketball chair.

"Looks really nice," he commented. "How did everything go? Any problems?"

"Nope, I just had to sign a few papers and Jasper might get a donation from them."

"Great. Thanks for taking him, Jasper. I'm sure going with you was much more fun than going with his mother," he father chuckled.

"Hey," she chided him, laughing. "Are you boys hungry?"

"No, we stopped to eat on the way home," I spoke up before Edward, being forced to lie because of the text I'd sent her. "But we could go for desert? We finished off the cookies."

"Sure," she said, going to the kitchen and returning with more of the same cookies that we had brought with us and handing them to me.

"I'm tired from the ride, I'm going to head to my room," Edward announced. His mother kissed him good night and then returned to the living room.

"Night," his father replied. Edward headed down the hallway and I glanced at his dad.

"It was a long drive," I excused for Edward. "He was falling asleep on the way home."

"I imagine he was," Dr. Cullen said, looking at Edward as he reached his room. "Was his mood okay?"

"Yeah, actually he was in a pretty good mood."

"I was worried that once he saw the chair, he might start to have doubts."

"No, he seemed pretty excited about it."

"Good. I hope he continues to be. Thanks for taking him, Jasper. I know it meant a lot to him to get out and do something normal again."

"Anytime," I smiled.

He's my boy, Dr. Cullen.

When I looked down the hallway again, Dr. Cullen motioned toward Edward's room. "I'll see you in the morning, Jasper."

"Night," I murmured before quickly turning and almost running down to Edward. The entire time I had been talking to his father, all I could think of was if Edward was okay in his room, was he fighting the darkness while I chatted? When I walked in, his sweatshirt was already off and he was grabbing a catheter.

"I'll be right back," he said before leaving the room again.

"Wait, is…is it here now?" I asked, scanning his room.

Edward shook his head and left for the bathroom. I sat on his bed, eyeing the corner for anything that looked out of the ordinary. All I saw was a table with boxes of supplies on it, looking the same as always. Taking out my phone, I texted my father.

Back in Forks, staying at Edward's tonight. Will see you at the jobsite tomorrow

Then I set my alarm for five in the morning and put my phone on his nightstand before taking off my own sweatshirt and tossing it on the floor. I toed off my sneakers and socks. By the time Edward returned, I was only in jeans.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm sleeping over," I answered, unbuttoning my jeans.

"I thought you were going home tonight because you had to work early tomorrow?"

"I'm not leaving you alone," I replied firmly, attempting to leave no room for argument. "Got some sweatpants I can borrow?" Kneeling in front of his dresser, I pulled a pair out and changed into them. Edward transferred to his bed and I helped him undress, my eyes glancing at the corner a few times. Once he was changed, he moved up his bed, sighing as he lay back against the pillows.

"This is part of the reason I didn't tell you. You don't have to babysit me," he said as I crawled into bed next to him.

"I'm not."

"Bullshit."

"Can't I just want to spend time with you?"

"Yes, but I happened to tell you about the darkness and now you're glued to my side," he argued. I leaned in, putting my lips right at his ear.

"Better get used to it because I'm here for the rest of your life," I vowed.

Turning his head, he looked at me with a hopeful gaze as he searched my eyes for any hint I wasn't telling him the truth. "Promise?"

"Forever." Making sure the door was closed, I curled into his side, my head going to his shoulder, my arm over his middle. He took my hand in his and gripped it tightly as he kissed my temple.

"Thanks, love."

I nodded and after one last glance to the corner, I snuggled closer, guarding Edward from anything that dare to near him. I began to hum to him, the beat of his heart setting the rhythm for me and soon his breaths lengthened and his hand went limp. Closing my eyes, I thought about everything that had happened, everything he had confessed to me.

My mother had been wrong.

Edward didn't need to be away from me anymore than I did him.

"Something smells good," he said as he closed the door behind him and threw his bag onto the threadbare couch. Even without hearing him enter the apartment, I knew he was home. I just sensed him. It had been something we had always been able to do, but since we had started living together, our ability to do it had gotten better. I stirred the pasta and turned the heat down on the sauce. Shifting on my bare feet, I glanced over my shoulder in time to see Edward enter the kitchen.

"Hey, welcome home, baby, how was music comp?" I asked, turning around and bracing my hands on the counter. He pulled up to me and looked up at me with his beautiful woodsy eyes.

"It was good, Katherine made some good points about that piece we listened to yesterday. Started a nice debate," he replied as his hands went to the waistband of my jeans.

"Did you impress them with your knowledge?"

"Damn right I did." He tilted his head and studied me before letting his finger dip under the cotton shirt and graze along the dusting of hair there."I love it when you wear my clothes. Tell me why my Abbey Road tee shirt looks so much hotter on you than me?" He smiled when I visibly shivered from his touch.

"Trust me," I began, tunneling a hand through his hair and yanking his head back to look up at my face and not my cock. "It looks better on you." Leaning forward, I captured his lips in a rough kiss, my tongue plunging inside and mating with his before retreating. I stood up and scooped some sauce onto the wooden spoon. Cupping my hand under it, I held it out for Edward. "Taste this."

He opened his mouth and let me place the spoon inside before closed his lips around it and I pulled it out. "Mmmm, delicious, but I'd much rather taste something else," he moaned, licking his lips. "When is dinner going to be done?"

"About ten minutes."

"Just enough time," he smirked, his hands deftly undoing the button and zipper of my jeans.

"Babe?" He didn't reply, instead, he yanked my jeans and briefs down to my thighs, freeing my soft cock. Two long licks from the flat of his tongue later and my erection was buried in his throat. "Jesus fucking Christ," I groaned with one hand on the counter for balance while the other fisted his hair to make sure he didn't ever stop sucking. "Feels so fucking good."

Without restraint, my hips bucked toward him, my eyes never leaving the vision of my cock gliding between his perfect lips. I hissed when he scraped his teeth along my length, then I begged him to do it again. When he relaxed his gag reflex and let me sink even deeper into his tight, wet throat, I tensed, my orgasm hurling through me. Twitching, my cock exploded and filled his mouth with my seed, and I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed it all. He didn't release me until I had started to soften. Limp and milked, my cock fell from his mouth and I bent over and kissed him again, willingly tasting my release on his tongue, actively searching out the potent flavor. Breaking the kiss, I put my forehead to his.

"I love when I can taste myself on you," I whispered.

"I love having it there," he breathed. "But as good as that tasted, I'm still starving. A boy can't live on jizz alone, no matter how much protein is in it." I gazed down at him as he pulled up my underwear and jeans, tenderly stuffing my cock into them before doing them up. Leaning forward, he placed a kiss on my jean covered cock, then grabbed my hips and spun me around. "Cook," he demanded. "I'll get the dishes."

Laughing, I drained the pasta while Edward got out the plates and silverware, setting them on the small table in our kitchen. The kitchen, like the rest of the apartment, was handicapped accessible, allowing Edward complete independence when I wasn't home. The apartment was small and worn, but it didn't matter to either of us.

"There's a salad in the fridge too," I said and he grabbed it, placing it on the table. Once the sauce and pasta were in bowls, I served us and then sat down across from him. He inhaled the steam from the hot food and moaned. Shaking my head, I handed him his soda and opened my own.

He held his can out toward me. "To blow jobs before dinner," he toasted.

"They make everything taste better," I agreed, clinking his can with mine. "So, tell me about your day."

He did. Well, at least since lunch, when I had last seen him when we had met on campus at the cafeteria. Edward updated me on all his classes and a few assignments he had coming up, then I did the same. When dinner was done, Edward washed the dishes while I dried, then we moved to the couch. Both of us spread our books and laptops out on the table in front of us and studied for a few hours. Around ten, Edward closed his laptop and sucked on my earlobe convincing me to close my laptop too. We changed into our pajamas and spooned on the couch, Edward's firm body behind mine as we laughed our way through some stupid comedy on television.

The day had been a repeat of the day before, and the day before that, but each day allowed us fall in love with each other all over again.

Startled, I woke up, my head bolting off Edward's chest. The room was dark except for a sliver of dim moonlight through the window. Next to me, Edward slept peacefully, his lips parted and his head to the side. Even in his sleep, he was perfect.

My heart skipped, then kept time with his and I exhaled.

How could something as simple as waking up next to someone be what made someone happy? I didn't need anything else but him by my side to hold in my sleep and to wake up with every morning. It was a feeling I wanted every day forever, and I shook my head that I had ever thought, even for a second, that I could go to college without him.

It was simply impossible to be away from him for that long.

Returning my head to his chest, I smiled when his arm instinctively tightened around me and his heart, with its strong and steady beat, lulled me back to sleep.

"**~~**"

I got off the elevators and walked down the corridor I knew well. A few women nodded at me as I passed, some called to me by name and I returned the greeting but didn't stop until I reached the nurse's station in the center where all the hallways met.

"Hey, Mom," I said, putting my clipboard on the counter. She looked up from a monitor, her hair was pulled back messily and her pale green scrubs were wrinkled. "Long day?"

"Yes, but only for another hour. Did you bring the papers?"

"I got everything."

That morning I had gotten up when my alarm went off and I dressed in Edward's dark room, kissing him on the forehead and whispering I loved him before sneaking out of his house and going to work for my dad. He had eyed me as I approached, but never commented that I was wearing the same clothes as the day before. Taking pity on my tired body, he had me do some simple, no brain necessary things and even let me leave an hour early so I could met my mother before she got off work.

"You look tired," she commented as she took the clipboard.

"Just tired from yesterday."

"Hey, Jasper," Carol, another nurse, said as she walked behind the counter and joined my mother. "How's everything going?"

"Pretty good."

"What's that?" she asked my mother.

"Jasper is running a half marathon to help raise money for Edward Cullen's medical and supply expenses, and he's here to see if any of the nurses might like to support him," my mother explained for me, her voice edged with pride.

"Count me in," Carol replied, reaching under the counter for her bag. "Twenty dollars okay?"

"Yeah, that's great, thanks," I smiled, dimples and all, tilting my head in the way that always made Edward sigh with content.

Whatever worked.

If they wanted me to striptease for cash, I would. But not in front of my mother, of course.

Carol wrote the check out and handed it to me and I put it in the envelope on the clip board and wrote down her name and number and how much she donated. As each nurse approached, my mother told them what I was doing and they all donated ten or twenty dollars piece. My mother stepped away to check on a patient right before Mrs. Fuller, the one that had let me sneak in to see Edward every night he had been there, walked up.

"Hello, Jasper, how are you?"

"Good, Mrs. Fuller, you?"

"I'm well, thanks. Here to see your mom?" she asked.

"Sort of. I'm here to see if some of the nurses wanted to support me in a half marathon I'm running to raise money for Edward Cullen's expenses."

She took the clipboard and read over the donation letter I had written and printed out. Without looking up at me, she asked, "I remember how scared you looked when you came to see him." Swallowing, I nodded. "A scary thing for a friend to go through."

"Scary for him too," I added. "But he's playing wheelchair basketball now."

"Really? That's great, good for him. He's a tough one."

"Yeah, he is," I agreed.

"I don't know if you know this, Jasper, but I'm head of the nurses association here. It's an organization that does some fundraising, we also hold parties on the different floors for the patients, help grieving families and stuff."

"My mom's mentioned some of things before."

"Well, this is exactly the kind of thing we like to support. I'm going to give you thirty dollars from me, but then I'm going suggest to the nurses that we donate as an association as well. I could probably get you about five hundred from us."

"Seriously? You'd do that?"

She glanced around before leaning over the counter a little, her brown eyes crinkling at the corners. "I've rarely seen such devotion between friends. If I can support that, I will." Biting the inside of my cheek, I replied with a mumbled thanks. "I'll let Peri know about the association and send a check home with her. Should only be a few days."

"Thanks a lot. It's really great of you."

My mother returned and Mrs. Fuller updated her and my mother nodded, saying it'd be a great idea. Then she directed me a few other floors, where I repeated my speech over and over. On the last floor, I saw Emmett. His wide shoulders blocked out the light behind him as he scanned the clipboard.

"If I'm one of his expenses and I donate, does that mean I'm paying myself?" he asked with a smile.

"Yeah, I think so," I laughed.

"Either way, count me in for fifty. He's a great kid, strong too."

I wrote Emmett's information down and took his check. "Thanks a lot."

"No problem." I turned to leave but he called out to me, and I turned. "Edward tells me you wanted some ideas on building some leg strength?"

"Yeah, I could use a little more I think."

"How far do you usually run?"

"Usually three miles, but I can do five pretty easily."

He nodded. "I've got a few suggestions, I'll go over them tomorrow with Edward and he can pass them on to you."

"Great, thanks!" I gave him a little wave and headed for the elevators. An hour later, I walked out with just under three hundred dollars, and another five hundred possible. Maybe thirty grand wasn't going to be the stretch I thought it would.

Later that night, I lay on my bed and called Edward.

"Hey," he answered, his voice light.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Just came inside from practicing in the driveway, did some shooting and dribbling."

"How'd it go?" I flipped onto my back and scratched my belly with my free hand.

"Shooting was fine, but I still suck at dribbling."

"Did you use test drive the new chair?"

He laughed. "Yeah, I did. It's so much lighter."

"Going to be lightening fast on the court on Tuesday," I chuckled.

"Definitely faster than I was. How was work?"

"It was okay, my dad let off an hour early so I went to the hospital and hit up the nurses for some pledges. Got a few hundred, plus Mrs. Fuller said she might get me five hundred more from the nurses association."

"Wow, that's fucking cool. I still can't believe you're doing this," he sighed.

"Oh, I ran into Emmett, he said he will show you some leg stuff for me tomorrow."

"I'll take notes," he teased. "Hey, Jas?"

"Yeah?" I yawned.

"Why don't you just go home after practice tomorrow?"

"Ed-"

"Don't argue. Go home, get your homework done and then sleep."

"But I don't want you to be alone," I murmured into the phone, my eyes closing even as I said it.

"I won't be. Alice will be around, probably my mother too. I can practice outside. I'll be fine." When I sighed, he continued. "Tell you what, you stay home tomorrow and I'll make it up to you on Tuesday at practice."

My eyes snapped open. "How?"

"I don't know yet, but I will," he promised with a throaty murmur.

"Fuck, babe, you're making me hard." The hand scratching my stomach had already snuck under the elastic of my sweatpants. "How about you talk dirty to me?"

"No phone sex, you need sleep. I'll see you in the morning," he reminded me. "Love you."

"Love you too. Be safe, baby."

"See ya soon, love."

He hung before I did, but I finally let the phone fall to the bed. Seconds later, my eyes were closed again.

"**~~**"

"Cullen," Riley called out after he rebounded the ball. Edward was at the top of the arc, his hands up waiting for the pass. Brady was on Riley, his arms up trying to block the pass but Riley got it off anyway, landing the ball in Edward's hands with perfect accuracy. Edward's fingers barely touched it before he released it, swishing it through the net. Brady took the ball out of bounds to toss it in to Collin while Riley wheeled over to Edward, giving him a high five as they prepared to play defense.

With the new chair, Edward was able to play in the practice scrimmage, and while he still looked awkward dribbling, his passes were dead on and his shots couldn't have been better. Even though it had only been a few weeks, he directed the team for the plays, reading the defense and adjusting accordingly. He moved with ease, quicker than before and with more fluidity in weaving the chair in and out of the other players.

But it wasn't Edward's skill, although that didn't hurt, that had me hard and almost drooling as I watched from the bleachers. They were playing shirts versus skins.

And Edward was a skin.

I swallowed as sweat ran in rivulets down his developed shoulders and firm back, gathering in the dip in the center of his spin. Damp tendrils of hair stuck to the nape of his neck and a deep flush of exertion covered his high cheekbones. When he spun his chair and I saw his chest, I literally gasped. Hard pectorals bulged, dark nipples pebbled from the rush of air over them as he pushed his way down the court. Unlike everyone else, Edward had sweatpants on, but his defined abs and the beginning of his 'v' were clearly visible. Enthralled, I licked my lips as he reached down and gripped the wheels with strong hands, sinewy forearms moving with grace as he smiled at his teammates before spinning the chair around for defense. Then he glanced at me, sliding a barely there wink my way and my cock throbbed. There was no fucking way I was going to make it until practice was over, but there was no fucking way I wasn't waiting for it to be Edward's hands on me. My homework sat unfinished in front of me while my gaze remained fixed on the sexiest thing I'd ever seen.

Practice ended and I watched Edward chat with his teammates before picking up his tee shirt and sweatshirt. He and Riley, both still shirtless, rolled across the gym toward me. Waiting at the door, I kept my bag in front of my crotch. I didn't need to advertise my hard on to everyone.

"Hey, Jasper," Riley smiled at they reached me. "How are you?"

"Hey. Pretty good, you?" I greeted, my eyes never leaving Edward's face…and shoulders and chest and arms. He returned my heated stare, though his eyes dropped to my backpack hiding my erection.

"Not bad, thanks. Good practice, Cullen," Riley said as he pushed past me, "See ya Thursday. Bye, Jasper."

"Bye," I replied absently. Shaking his head, Edward rolled by me.

"Ready to go?" he smirked.

As if he didn't know. If I could have sprinted to the truck and not have had it look strange, I would have.

"So you said you were going to make not seeing you on Monday up to me. I'm thinking an hour of you play basketball shirtless is a fucking pretty good start."

He shrugged. "I didn't plan on it, but when I had the chance to play on the skins team, I thought you might enjoy it."

"More like you thought you might tease the shit out of me, keep me from doing my homework, give me a raging hard on, and make sure I had to mop up the drool after?"

"You could say that," he smiled. Just as we were about to exit the automatic doors, Edward went to put on his sweatshirt and I grabbed his wrist. Not caring who saw me, I looked down at him.

"Don't you dare put that on," I growled.

"But it's cold out," he frowned.

"I don't care," I said, releasing his hand and walking out the doors. At the truck, I lifted Edward, inhaling his heady scent before putting him in the truck and then securing his chair in the back, groaning when my jeans pressed against my straining cock. Opening the door, I climbed in and started the truck, turning on the heat for Edward. Not even looking at him, I lifted my hips and undid my jeans, sighing when my cock bounced free. I went to straddle Edward, but he flattened his hand to my chest.

"Take them all the way off," he commanded. Holding his eyes with mine, I did as he said. Kicking off my sneakers, I slid my jeans and briefs all the way down and onto the floor. While I did that, Edward leaned forward and grabbed his duffle bag, unzipping a pocket on the outside. In the dark cab, I couldn't see what he pulled out and sat on the seat next to him. "C'mere."

Already breathless, I moved to him, settling my knees on either side of his thighs and running my hands over his shoulders, still slightly glistening with sweat. He trembled.

"You're shaking. Are you warm enough?"

"Yeah, I'm not cold," he sighed. Curving a hand behind my neck, he pulled me toward him, his tongue insisting on entrance the second our lips met. My dick throbbed for attention while we kissed. The soft cotton of his sweatpants rubbed my bare ass as I began to slide along his lap, thrusting forward and moaning into the kiss when the overly sensitive head of cock tapped his hard abs. One hand remained tangled in my hair while the other danced down my back, pressing me closer to him before sneaking under the hem of my sweatshirt and pulling it up. Breaking the kiss, I sat up and allowed him to pull it off over my head.

After he tossed it aside, I sat on his lap completely naked. Except for my socks.

His eyes skimmed my body in the low light, his hands following his gaze and I felt thoroughly fucked just from his look alone. Between us, my cock twitched, early pearls of cum beading eagerly at the slit, just begging to be spread or licked.

"Please touch me," I whispered. Obeying, he left one hand on my hip and moved the other to my cock, wrapping his fingers around it. "Yeah, that's it. Stroke me."

He did as I asked, in the fucking slowest, most tantalizing, languid strokes ever. My balls drew up even at the slightest hint that they might find relief. There was no rhythm of my hips as I began rocking into his touch, silently asking for more.

"Kiss me," he moaned, and I did. Unable to control myself, my fingers dug into his arms as his lips left mine and moved over my scruffy jaw and down the tendons of my neck. "So fucking hot."

I never felt his other hand leave my hip, I never heard the cap of the bottle top, but I certainly fucking felt the cool, slick finger rubbing the velvety skin behind my balls.

"Oh fuck," I groaned loudly. "More." I pushed my hips forward, encouraging him. Licking and nipping along my collarbone, he continued to tease me by rubbing his finger back and forth until I was shaking from need.

"What do you want?" he asked me lowly just as his middle finger reached my hole, lightly resting against it. Panting, I angled my head to give him more room and tried to focus on answering his question. Closing my eyes, my entire body's energy went to my cock and ass, leaving none for my brain.

"You, I want you."

"You want my finger in your ass?"

"Yes," I gasped. "Fucking yes."

"Tell me, love, have you done this to yourself lately?" He kept his finger at my entrance, but released my neck and leaned back.

"No, not since the last time with you." It had been only days before the accident when we had been in the back of his Volvo where he had watched me wank and fuck myself.

"My Jasper," he breathed.

Opening my eyes, I stared at him, caught in his rapt look of lust that darkened his eyes to the colors of our meadow under a full moon. Not letting me move from his heavy stare, his finger pressed into me, slowly easing its way into my puckered entrance. Immediately, I clamped down on the intrusion even as I welcomed and begged for it.

"Fuck," I rasped. The burn spread through my ass and pelvis, even my cock stopped aching while I got used to the invasion of his finger. Clenching his jaw, he resisted the urge to thrust it into me quickly, instead, he waited for my body to relax, to breathe through it. After a few long seconds, I let my knees spread further apart, and he worked his finger past the tight ring of muscle. Slick and wet, he forced it inside until the blunt tip scraped my prostate. "Oh fuck yeah, fuck yeah, fuck…"

Skillfully, he began stroking my cock again, timing them with the thrusts of his long finger. I impaled myself on it, taking him deeper and wanting more each time, my body torn between pressing onto one hand and bucking into the other. Our eyes were locked on each other as he worked my body in ways we hadn't often done.

"Yeah, that's it," he groaned when I began to plead him for more. A second lubed finger shoved its way inside me to join the first, and he wiggled them back and forth, stretching my eager hole. "That's it, fuck my fingers."

"Oh shit," I cried out at his words.

Then I did exactly as he asked. In the dark cab, completely naked and wanton, I writhed on his lap and fucked myself with his fingers, constantly pleaded him to add another and grunting through the piercing pain when he did. It was only seconds after that addition, when one brushed along my gland, that the sweet fire ignited and spread up my spine. Tingling sensations reached everywhere, like a live wire, and my cock pulsed as a result. Sitting completely on his fingers, keeping them buried in me, I stilled.

Then it hit me.

"You're gonna make me come," I moaned, then crushed my lips to his, edging his jaw open to brush my tongue along his, moaning once they made contact. We kissed and my orgasm ripped through me, singeing every nerve as my body convulsed and rode the waves of the pleasure. In his hand, my cock emptied on us both.

"That's it, love, give me your load," he groaned against my lips as my seed ran down my cock and over his hand. Shamelessly, I moved against him, drawing out my climax with his hands and body. My ass tightened like a vise around his fingers, forcing them deeper with each crest that hit me until the orgasm gradually ebbed away. Ragged breathes escaped me as I broke the kiss and dropped onto Edward's shoulder. Shudders still wracked me in the minutes after the orgasm while Edward's stroke on my cock gradually slowed. I didn't care that I was naked, or that we were in a truck in a public parking lot, all I had cared about was getting off, and fuck, did my boy get me off.

"This," he murmured, wiggling his fingers inside me and my body jerked, "was your reward for being a good boy yesterday." His soft lips moved along my shoulder, nipping their way up to neck, where he sucked on some skin, teasing me with his teeth.

"Do it," I begged, the sound thick in my throat. "Please."

Needing no further direction, he took my skin between his lips and sucked hard. Trembling, I moaned at the marking, digging my fingers into his thick hair. When he was satisfied, he lavished the same area with the roughness of his tongue before lifting his head to study his handiwork.

"No tee shirt is going to cover it," he moaned.

"I don't care," I whispered. "I want people to see it."

"You'll have questions to answer," he reminded me.

"Bug bite," I chuckled, using Edward's excuse for whenever I had given him a hickey. My cock softened and he released it, placing his hand on my hip to ease me back. I hissed when his fingers slipped from my used hole, which immediately wanted them back inside. We sat like that for a few minutes, my cum drying on us both, my ass already missing his touch, our mouths fused together in lazy kisses. I nuzzled my nose along his jaw, then dipped my head and grazed my lips along his.

"It's getting late," Edward mumbled before he deepened the kiss. It wasn't until a good ten minutes later that we finally parted.

Moving my hips along his lap, I whispered in his ear. "Want me to return the favor?"

What I would have given to have felt his hips buck up into mine at my suggestive words like he would have only four months before. Hell, four months ago, we both would have been naked and in the bed of the truck humping like bunnies.

"It's too late," he sighed. "Besides, I'm probably not hard."

"If you're not, I could get you that way. I'm sitting naked on your lap," I reminded him.

"Maybe this weekend," he offered quietly. Sitting back, I looked at him, running the backs of my fingers down his cheeks.

"You're okay with me touching you, right?"

He shrugged. "Sometimes."

Running my fingers through his hair, I fisted it. "I want to touch you, Edward. It doesn't have to be now, but I still want to touch you. I know you can't feel it, but I like it, it's just as hot as ever, and I want to do it as much as ever did."

"Which was pretty much all the time," he smirked.

"Exactly. I'm just saying…it's not something I feel I should do, I want to. Desperately. A lot. I want to feel your skin, I want to see it, taste it, and smell it."

"Jesus, love," he moaned, "I want to fucking kiss you all night, I want to make you come again and again, and I want to let you touch me, but we've gotta go. They're going to worry."

Sighing, I nodded and reached for the towel to clean some of the cum off us before wiping the lube off his fingers. I dressed, noticing the slight burn still lingering in my ass, reminding me of the pleasure my boy had brought me. Edward finally put on his tee shirt, even though I pouted as he did so, then he slid across the seat until he was next to me. His side pressed to mine, he did up the seatbelt and put his hand on my lap. His eyes never left my profile for the entire ride home, his shaking a little less severe than it had been for the ride up there.

In his driveway, I shifted into park and then kissed him in the truck before helping him into his chair.

"Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow. Don't forget my meet after school," I said.

"I haven't. I told my mom I'm going and that you would bring me home."

"Thanks for tonight," I smiled, still high from his finger fucking.

"My pleasure," he winked.

"Be safe, baby."

"See ya, love," he whispered before turning toward the house. Leaning against the truck, I watched him push himself up the ramp, his biceps expanding with the effort. My sated cock stirred.

Yeah, there was definitely something in the way my boy moved.

"**~~**"

The drizzle fell steadily, but it wasn't anything that I hadn't run in before. Standing on the damp grass of the infield, I raised my arms above my head and twisted side to side, stretching out my torso.

"Gonna kick some ass today?" Hunter asked me as he walked up. He was our best hurdler, third in the state, he also had one hell of a long jump.

"Damn right," I agreed. He pulled off his sweatshirt and dropped it to the ground.

"Worst thing about doing track is all the fucking waiting," he complained.

"Yeah, no shit."

The meet had started on time but after the opening ceremonies, it was a bunch of standing around for the distance runners. I had already done a few warm up laps and then just had to wait until my event. Glancing around the bleachers, I looked for Edward, but didn't see him anywhere. Trying not to feel disappointed, I continued to stretch. I knew it was going to be hard for him to watch, I couldn't blame him for changing his mind. In the middle of a lunge, I saw Bella frantically waving to me from behind the metal fence surrounding the track.

"I'll be right back," I said to Hunter before weaving through the other teams and jogging across the track. The hundred meter was about to start and the kids were lining up for their respective heats. "What's up?"

Grinning, she grabbed my hand and yanked me toward the opening in the fence. "Come with me."

Not like I had much choice. She dragged me to the concession stand where the counter was full of baked goods, cookies, brownies, cupcakes, whoopee pies, and fudge. Standing next to it, she waved her hand over it like she was a game show girl showing off the prizes for a contestant.

"It's for you."

"Looks delicious, but I need to run a mile in about half an hour so maybe later," I said, but when I went to walk away, she stopped me.

"I mean, it's for your race," she attempted, but failed, to clarify. When I looked even more confused, she sighed. "It's for your race for Edward. I baked all day yesterday to sell them here. The money we make is going to you."

I looked over the food again, ignoring my rumbling stomach and sweet tooth. "Seriously?"

"Yep, and not only that but Mrs. Cassidy of the track boosters said they are donating all the money they make on concession sales today," Bella announced proudly. "And if my stuff sells well enough, I'm going to hold bake sales during lunch. I already asked Mr. Bradshaw and he okayed it."

"Bella, I…I don't know what to say…" I looked down at her beaming smile.

"You can start with thank you," she chuckled. "Then maybe a few 'you're awesome's will do."

Weaving a hand into her long hair behind her head, I leaned forward and placed a brief kiss on her forehead. "Thank you," I murmured.

"Welcome," she grinned, she began to speak again, but paused, her eyes drawn to the mark on my neck visible over the neckline of my team tank top. Self consciously, I hand went to it, trying to pass it off as an itch, I scratched it. "What's that?"

"Bug bite," I lied, and not very well, the heat that rose to my cheeks had nothing to do with the running I had done. A huge part of me just wanted to proudly blurt it out 'Edward did it', but I didn't. While I might have been blushing and putting on an offended front, I was secretly pleased that Bella of all people, noticed. While I wanted to claim current, and forever, ownership of her ex-boyfriend, I remained quiet.

"That is not a bug bite, that is a hickey," she countered, squinting and eyeing it closer. I flatted my hand over it and she backed away. "Who's it from? Jessica?"

"Jesus, Bella, if it was a hickey, give me more credit than that," I growled. "But it's not." My voice apparently sounded stern enough because she changed the subject.

"So, want me to save anything for you?"

I glanced over the buffet of sweets. "One of everything?"

Laughing, she shoved me. "Go run. I'll find you after."

"Hey, you haven't seen Edward, have you?"

"Yeah, he was talking to Mr. Harter from the music department. I saw them on my way down here."

"Thanks," I said, relief creeping into my voice. At least he was still at school.

"Good luck!" She called out as I headed for the gate and back to the infield.

Pacing to keep warm, I watched the shorter distance races, my eyes scanning the bleachers and walkway in front of them the entire time for any signs of Edward. I was unable to stop my eyes from wandering to the La Push team, and the dark skinned kid that had taken my title last year. His hair was shorter, but his body was as sleek as ever. Wearing his team uniform, his long legs easily carried him across the field in a loping stride as he warmed up for our race. He was loose and fit.

He was going to kick my ass.

Again.

Defeated, I look away and shook my head, preparing for the embarrassment of losing my race, the one I was known for, on my home track. I watched Hunter win his heat in the hurdles and cheered my teammates on in the high jump and pole vault. Finally, after what seemed like hours, they announced first call for the eight hundred and I made my way the corral and took off my sweatshirt. There were six heats in my race, the faster the runners, the later heat they ran in. The race before mine finished and the officials recorded the times, then directed the last heat of my race to our lanes. I had drawn the inside lane while Wright, the La Push kid, had the far outside one. While we waited for our numbers to be checked, I glanced around one last time, skimming the bleachers and paved way in front of the concession stand. Finally I looked up the hill on the far end of the track. A relieved sigh left me as my eyes landed on him. I didn't know how he saw me, but he knew I was looking at him and he waved.

He was there to watch and support me. My winning or losing suddenly became much less important.

"Runners, take your mark," the race official said. Tearing my eyes from Edward, I bent over in my stance and stilled, my heart even halting for the beat until the starter's gun went off and my body instinctively responded. Bolting forward, I took the first leap of the race.

Within ten steps, my body settled into my pace, having done the motion so often. My upper body straightened, my arms pumped loosely by my side, my eyes focused on nothing but the track in front of me, though I was acutely aware of exactly where my competition was. Being on the inside lane, they were all ahead of me. The eight hundred was a difficult race to run, too long to sprint, too short to really pace yourself. It was one distance that had taken me a few years to get the hang of. I easily caught the two racers in the lanes nearest to me, and was gaining on the third by the time we reached the end of the first corner. I needed to be ahead of as many as I could so when we came out of the corner and could move from our lanes, I wouldn't get boxed in. My heart was barely working as I lengthened my stride just a bit on the straight side of the track, blowing by two more runners. Wright was in the lead, but there was only one other person between us. We rounded the far corner, and even with my focus on my mission, I heard a very distinct 'Go, Jasper' from Edward on the hill. Then I began to hear the cheers from the crowd and my fellow teammates on the field. There were several calls of my name as I hit the second straight way. With all but two racers behind me, we crossed the line and the gun shot singling the last lap.

The wind blew through my hair, keeping it off my face as I took in the gulps of air and listened to the rhythm of my feet pounding the rubber of the track, giving just enough to absorb some shock. The runner in front of me began to fade, he had gone out too fast, leaving only Wright and me. When we reached the final turn, he was only a few paces in front of me. I heard Edward on the hill, whistling and cheering as I turned it on. My distance running body wasn't made much for sprinting, but I had a decent finishing kick, and I caught Wright within a few meters and matched him stride for stride down the final stretch. His pace was as strong and steady as mine, he was compact and built for sprinting with his bulky body while my lanky one wasn't. I began to think he was going to win, that he was just too damn fast at that distance for me. As we ran in front of the bleachers, the misting falling heavily on us, we neared the finish line.

There was no burning of my muscles or lungs, I thought of nothing but my boy watching, and how I was doing something he never would. My feet slammed the ground with the force of my weight, my calves flexed, my thighs bunched, all things Edward would never feel again.

"This is for you, baby," I muttered under my breath, and then with a surge, I leaned forward and began to pull away by only inches. The crowd went crazy at the close race, our competition left behind, it was a two man sprint. Using every ounce of energy I had left in my exhausted body, I forced myself even faster, willing speed that I didn't really have. The finish line loomed in front of us, and then because I absolutely refused to lose in front of Edward, I lunged forward just in time for my foot to cross the line half a step before Wright's did.

A few strides after the line, I slowed and put my hands on my head, taking deep breaths. The burning that I hadn't felt while running hit me, my muscles tightening as I walked to keep them loose.

"Great race," Wright said as he passed me while cooling down.

"Thanks, you too," I returned.

"You doing the qualifiers this year?"

"Yep," I smiled. There was no way I was going to let him bet me at State's again.

"See ya there," he nodded, walking off.

I walked a few paces, then turned toward the officials to get my time. Up on the hill, Edward was clapping and yelling my name. I grabbed my sweatshirt from the infield and headed for the gate, slapping some high fives of congratulations on the way. By the time I reached the opening, Edward was there waiting for me.

"Hey," he said, looking up at me. He didn't bother to hide his emotions from his eyes, I saw the grief for what he had lost in them.

"Hey." There were words missing after the greeting, but we both heard them.

"You kicked ass!"

"I won…barely. Hardly an ass kicking," I corrected him, tugging on my sweatshirt so I didn't get stiff. I walked down the fence until we were alone. Turning, I leaned on the fence to stop myself from kneeling before him and putting my hands on his lap. "You okay? I understand if you want to leave."

He was shaking his head before I was done. "No, I'm fine, really. I'm not going to say it's easy. I sat up there thinking about last year and how I would sit on the bleachers with your mom and watch the races, but it's okay. Sorry I was late, I was talking with Mr. Harter about something."

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'll tell you later. You need to go run another race."

"I've got about twenty minutes before first call." I motioned to the concession stand. "Are you warm enough?"

He was dressed in his jeans and sweatshirt but the rain was falling a bit steadier, and Edward was getting pretty wet. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"You should see what Bella did."

"What?" He spun his chair around.

"Go see."

I waited while he made his way to the counter, having to stop a few times when people just walked in front of him. Bella leaned over the counter and fluffed his hair, and then I saw her explaining all the treats to him. He pointed to a brownie, and she handed him two. He never gave her any money. Smiling, he set them on his lap and returned to me.

"Pretty neat, huh?"

"Yeah, pretty nice of her to think of that," he agreed.

"She still cares about you, about what happens to you, regardless of who she's dating," I reminded him.

"I know," he sighed. His gaze slid to the runners on the track, then to the people cheering in the bleachers. The sadness that seemed to be ingrained him now, that darkened his eyes so often, was there.

Glancing around, I crouched in front of him. "Do you want to come over my house today, babe?"

"Are your parents home?"

"My dad's on a job in Port Hadlock, so he probably won't be home until around eight. My mom is working three to eleven. Want come over and have some pizza? I was going to order some for dinner, my mom left some money."

Looking down at his lap, he tugged his lip between his teeth. "Would that be okay? You'd have to drive me home later."

If I could have kissed him right then, I would have. "I'd love to have you over, and I can drive you home."

"You sure?"

"Positive." The announcer came over the speaker for first call for the sixteen hundred meter. "I gotta run…literally."

"Kick their ass, love," he whispered.

"I'll try. See you in a few minutes," I smiled. Standing up, I winked at him before jogging across the track to the infield.

Less than ten minutes later, I was lined up at the starting line for my second race, positioned in between a few kids from La Push and one from Port Angeles in the field of ten. The gun went off and my body shot forward, quickly breaking away from the pack and settling into my pace. With the training I had been doing for the half marathon, running a mile was a walk in the park to me, but I didn't want to take any chances by going out too fast. I heard the other runners' feet slapping behind me, but I could tell I had pulled away. Breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth, I let my mind clear and thought of nothing but the rhythmic sound of my feet.

By the time I came out of the first turn, I saw Edward near the gate opening, clapping and cheering. Inspired, I quickened my pace a bit and pulled further away. By the end of the second lap, I was almost half a lap in front of the second place runner. I was running against nothing but the clock now, so I slowed to a comfortable pace and eased my way through the third lap, glancing over my shoulder once to make sure I had enough of a lead. My uniform was drenched with sweat and rain and clung to me like a second skin. The gun singled the last lap and out of habit, I sped up, my legs and arms relaxed, my heart beating only slightly faster than normal. Each time I passed Edward, I heard him, but when I passed him the last time, he was louder than ever before.

For my baby, I pushed into my final kick, and took the last half a lap in a sprint, my strides lengthened and I pumped my arms, crossing the finish line well ahead of the rest of the field. Immediately, I put my hands behind my head and exhaled a few times, quickly lowering my heart rate from the sprint and watching the other runners cross the finish line long seconds after I did. Once my time had been verified, I checked in with my coach and then headed for Edward.

I approached, carrying my sweatshirt in my hand and smiled when he licked his lips. "Good race." In his lap was a plate of Bella's baked goods covered with plastic wrap.

"Easier now that I'm training for your race. Are those for us?"

"Yeah, Bella said you wanted one of everything."

"It all looked good. Ready to go? I need to change in the locker room, but I already told Coach I had to go."

Edward followed me up the hill and into the school to the locker room. He waited while I changed into some dry shorts and tee shirt and tossed my stuff into my duffel bag. Closing my locker, I turned to Edward. We went out to the truck, where I helped him in and put his chair in the back. Edward slid to the middle and waited for me to get in. Once I was in my seat, his already trembling hand went to my thigh and his head to my shoulder as he concentrated on his breathing and keeping his eyes on me and nothing else.

"Okay?" He just nodded.

My boy was so fucking brave.

Each and every day he faced a battle I couldn't imagine. Every morning he got up and lived a life he wasn't meant to, fighting his fear and trying to accept fate. If I told him he was brave, he would deny it, claiming he didn't fit the definition of brave, but he did, in so many ways, he did.

The drive to my place was short, and I got out and wiped Edward's chair off before lowering him into it and we headed inside. On the table in the entry was a note from my mom with twenty dollars on it.

"Why don't you call the order in?" I said to Edward as I put my bags down. "I'll go get us some drinks and we can start our homework."

I heard Edward's muffled voice as I grabbed two cans of soda and then met Edward at the couch. He finished the call and put his phone on the table before transferring over to the couch next to me and putting his feet up on the coffee table next to the plate of cookies and brownies. Pointing the remote, I put on ESPN and lowered the volume.

"Do I stink too much? I don't want to make you lose your appetite. I can take a shower if you want?" I offered.

"Nah, you're fine," he chuckled. "Physics first?"

"Mmm, remember what happened last time we tried to do physics homework?"

"Yeah, it makes you horny, but, Jasper, what doesn't make you horny."

"Good point," I sighed and pulled out my book. Kicking off my sneakers, I let my socked foot rest against Edward's, our bodies touching almost completely from shoulder to toe. Sharing one book, we made our way through the problems and finished without incident. Calculus was next, and we debated on a few problems, but eventually came to an agreement. We worked diligently until there was a knock on the door, and I got up and took the money from the table. After paying the delivery guy, I went into the kitchen for some napkins and then back to Edward. He smiled when I handed him napkins, and he covered his thighs when them and then took a slice of pizza. Sitting back, we watched ESPN and ate.

The pizza was half gone, the sodas empty and my hand was in Edward's on his lap. I dropped my head to his shoulder and sighed.

Being sexual with Edward was amazing, there would never be a time where he didn't turn me on just by breathing, but sitting there with him watching Sports Center and holding hands was just about as perfect as anything I'd ever dared to dream of. It was the sweetest simple contact, innocent and comforting, and it made me just want to stop the world and melt with my boy.

I remembered the first time I had held his hand. The world actually had stopped when our skin made contact like that, on purpose, for the first time. There had been accidental brushes of our hands and bodies for a few weeks, each one sending a charge through my entire body, making me lightheaded with a racing heart. But it was one night, about a week before my birthday and our first kiss, when he was over my place and we were playing WoW. Well, I was helping him play. He was sitting at my desk, logged in as my character, his hand on the mouse moving it around as he played. Standing behind him, I was leaning over his shoulder a little, trying to concentrate on guiding him when all I could focus on was how fucking good he smelled. I didn't know if it was his shampoo or body wash, or a mixture of both, but there was something hovering under his usual honey Edward scent. It took all my fucking strength not to bury my nose in his hair to find out if it felt as soft as it looked.

"So, I just follow this guy here?" he asked, bringing me out of my daydream and pointing to the monitor with his free hand.

"No, that one there," I directed.

"Where? Which one? Fuck, I'm going to get myself killed," he said, clearly frustrated.

"The guild master right there," I motioned to the top corner.

"What the fuck is a guild master?"

Without even thinking about it, I leaned forward more and covered his hand on the mouse, directing it toward the corner where the guild master, a huge green guy in armor, was waiting. At first, it seemed completely natural, easy, but once my brain realized my hand was on Edward's, feeling his warm, smooth skin under mine, my heart skipped a few beats, then began pounding forcefully against my ribs. I was sure he could hear it. Once he was where he needed to go, I released his hand, yanking my own back like I had been electrocuted.

"Sorry," I mumbled when he glanced at me over his shoulder. He turned back to the screen and I exhaled in relief.

For about a month, I had been getting a different signal from Edward. I wasn't getting the 'I'm completely straight because I have a girlfriend' vibe anymore, and it was confusing the shit out of me. One minute I was laughing at something he said, and the next I would catch him staring at me with the most intense eyes I'd ever seen, but a second later, it was gone. Then there were the slight touches that inspired hours of fantasies for jerking off in the shower, or how he stood extra close to me when we walked next to each other. For months he'd made me hard just by being near him, and now with the extra looks and closeness, I was in a constant state of arousal and confusion. Edward's body was hot, his face perfect, and his hair color the most unique I'd ever seen, but it had been the sparkle in his eyes that had grabbed me and had refused to let go.

"Show me where to go again?" he murmured.

Oh fuck.

Clearing my throat to calm myself, I decided to use my other hand and just point to the screen. I didn't want my dick telling me he wanted me to touch him again when it could have just been an innocent request. Lifting my left hand, I pointed to the top of the monitor. He mimicked my motion, raising his own hand to mine, his index finger stretched out.

"Right there?" he tapped the monitor and I nodded. I could feel the heat coming off just his finger alone. Then not only did he stop my heart, but he stole my breath. Before I could pull my hand back, he wrapped his around mine, clasping loosely as he moved it from the screen and back to the desktop, where he left his on top of it. Swallowing, I closed my eyes and slowly, tentatively, turned my hand up so we were palm to palm. At first our hands remained like that, fingers spread and shaking, skin barely touching. Then his fingers slipped between mine, and mine curled up around his like it was meant to be.

With his eyes on the screen, and his back to me, we held hands for the first time and my world stopped.

Sitting on couch, we were doing the same thing we had a few years earlier. While now it was common and natural to hold hands, it still made my heart race. We talked about the start of the NBA playoffs, who we thought would go all the way, and debated on James and Bryant. When the sports anchors started talking hockey, I lifted my head and looked at Edward.

"Thank you very much, by the way," I chuckled.

"What?" He looked at me wide-eyed.

Reaching up, I pulled down the neck of my tee shirt so he could see the fading red mark. "Bella saw it."

"Oh," he smirked. "Hey, you can't complain, you begged me for it. What did she say?"

"I told her it was a bug bite, she thought it was Jessica."

Edward visibly shuddered. "I hope you told her it wasn't." There was something in his voice, something I hadn't heard since…Seth. Tilting my head, I gazed into his eyes, watching the green fire ignite into a flicker.

"Babe, are you jealous?" I teased.

"What? Pfft, no," he denied a bit too much.

Grinning, I ran my thumb over the back of his hand. "My baby's jealous," I said in a sing song voice, beaming while he narrowed his deepening eyes and glared at me.

It was stupid and childish, but it made my insides heat up with the idea of Edward being jealous, of the possessiveness I felt coming off him even though he denied it. I stared him down with my raised brow, making sure my hair was falling just the way he liked it, and sharing one dimple with him. Finally, he sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Fine. Yes, I was jealous at the party. I didn't like her hands on you like that, or her propositioning you in front of everyone," he confessed.

"So sweet," I chuckled.

"Fuck off," he returned. "The thought of her and you alone in a room made me sick."

"Me too," I laughed. "I'm not going into a bedroom with anyone but you."

Suddenly, Edward kissed my temple. "Speaking of bedroom, can we go to yours?"

My cock twitched, quickly stirring to life just from the words. Mutely, I nodded and stood up, swooping him into my arms. We left the pizza box open on the table and the television on as I carried him upstairs to my room, his lips already working their way languidly up neck.

In my room, I sat him on the bed and he immediately moved over to make room for me. Kicking my door closed with my foot, I grabbed the hem of my tee shirt and peeled it off, dropping it to the floor before crawling on the bed and lying next to him. He was on his side, but when I went to mirror him, he pushed me onto my back. I watched as he took off his own shirt, and then with those deep green eyes on mine, eased his way down the bed until his face was level with my hips. Reaching down, I carded my fingers through his hair and smiled at him, my heart racing at the close proximity of his lips to my cock. No longer just twitching, it strained against my cotton briefs under my nylon shorts. Ignoring my obvious erection, he lowered himself even further, turning his body so that he was almost perpendicular to me, his head by my knees.

Leaning forward he placed a kiss there, before turning awkwardly toward my feet and pulling off my sock and kissing the top. Giggling at the tickling sensation, I flinched at the wet kiss and felt his lips curl up in a smile against my skin. After reaching over to take off my other sock, he proceeded to leave feather light kisses along the top of my calf, dancing his fingers through the light hair. Once he reached my knee again, he worked his back down toward my foot, only he placed a hand under my knee, coaxing me to bend it. With the back of my calf exposed, he rained kisses down it, his hand following behind, massaging my tired muscles.

"Mm, feels good," I sighed, my body completely relaxing. With every touch, my cock thickened and pushed against my briefs.

Turning so his body was in the same direction as mine again, he began to show my thigh the same treatment. Starting at my knee, he kissed around it, then up the top of my thigh, nudging the cloth of my shorts out of the way with his nose as he worked his way to the crease of my leg. There was no containing the tremors that went through me as a result of his lips delicately teasing me. He curled a hand under my thigh, kneading the ropey lines of muscle in the back while kissing the top. He seemed to notice every detail, every hair and mark, not one spot went undiscovered.

His attention was tender, loving… worshipping.

Edward was worshipping my legs, worshipping what his could no longer do.

Feel.

Move.

Respond.

The body parts that he no long had use of were the same ones I used the most. Their endurance was going to raise money for him, their strength helped us get around, and their speed had gotten me a free ride to college. What he could no longer use had become my ticket to a future.

My hand remained in his hair, constantly weaving in and out of it as he continued to grace my leg with his mouth and hands.

"They're so strong," he mumbled against the hard muscle of my quads. "I don't think I ever realized how strong you were. Watching you run today was amazing. You made it look so easy." He didn't expect a response, instead he moved one hand to my shorts, sliding the silky material up my leg, sending a shudder through me when his fingertips grazed the bottom of my briefs. "You can do so many things."

"So can you," I reminded him quietly.

He shook his head. "Not like you, not anymore." Before I could speak, he said, "Promise me something."

"Anything," I answered honestly.

Kissing my thigh again, he lifted his head and looked up at me. "Don't ever take them for granted."

Tilting my head to the side, I gazed at down at his beauty, not even marred by the pain etched onto his face. Slipping my hand from his hair, I ran the backs of my fingers down his cheek.

"I won't. Ever. I promise, baby," I swore.

His eyes fluttered closed for a long minute, and I wondered if he was battling the darkness, if it had stalked him during my meet and followed him to my house. Biting my lip, I debated on asking, but he opened his eyes. They were clearer, slightly brighter than before. One last kiss to my leg and he shifted himself until he was lying level with me again. I turned onto my side and cupping his chin, drew him to me for a kiss, not waiting for his lips to part, I plunged my tongue into his mouth to seek out his. My hand left his hair and skimmed along his shoulder and down his upper arm and forearm, admiring the sinewy muscles under the skin. Moving his hand from my hip to my thigh, he snagged the hem of my shorts and pulled them up, brushing his hand over the cotton underwear and earning a groan. Pressing my body closer to his, I slung a leg over his and he hitched my knee up to his hip, then groped my ass through the slippery material. Moaning, he angled his head and deepened the kiss until our mutual breath was gone. When I moved to roll him to his back, to straddle him, he stopped me with a hand on my wrist covering the braided leather there. Pulling back from the kiss, I looked at him, my breaths shallow.

"I want to be on top this time," he whispered. He didn't wait for a reply before he was using his strong arms to push me onto my back. Once I was there, my hand resting on his shoulder, he used a hand and began tugging on the waist of my shorts, first one side, then the other, until he had them down my thighs. Then he did the same thing to my briefs, exposing the tip of my cock, already shiny with pearly fluid. Bracing my feet flat on the bed, I lifted my ass and he was able to pull my shorts and underwear down my thighs to my knees. I wiggled until I was able to kick them off.

I lay naked and hard in front him, blushing under his hungry stare as his eyes roamed every inch of me. His hands followed in his gaze's wake, tracing every muscle in my abs and legs, every indentation and shadow so intently I could practically feel it. My erection throbbed and ached for his touch to finally arrive where I desired it most. When he leaned against me to kiss my hipbone, I shuddered at the skin on skin contact and clung to him as he sucked my skin and pulled blood to the surface.

"I don't think anyone will see a hickey down there," I chuckled and he lifted his head and smiled.

"I want to mark you everywhere," he returned in raspy whisper.

Swallowing, I nodded. Without touching my cock, Edward dragged himself back up to my face, kissing me hard and rough. One of my hands went back to his hair, tugging on it, wanting and needing more, while my other wrapped around his bicep as much as possible. Shifting his weight, he was able to slide himself on top of me, my legs parting to make room for his as they clumsily fell between mine. Finally, he was completely on me, our chests pressed together as his hips rested on mine.

"You okay?" he asked me, pushing my hair back. "Am I crushing you?"

"It feels amazing to have you on me again," I murmured and he blushed, lowering his head. Edward had been shy before the accident, but he'd had no problem telling me what he wanted, and getting it, but now, just the simple request of wanting to be the one on top again was enough to bring heat to his cheeks. It was as if he was surprised he wanted it. "Does it feel okay for you?"

"Yeah," he breathed right before lowering his mouth to mine.

The kisses started off lazy as we let our tongues twist and explore well known mouths, outline lips, and flicker against each other. Edward curled his arms under my shoulders, cradling my head in his hands while his fingers tangled in my hair and his blunt nails scraped along my scalp. Earnest, keening sounds were drawn from us both in the form of long moans and whimpers. While his hands remained in my hair, mine wandered his entire back and shoulders, constantly surfing over the taunt muscles, occasionally digging into them as they rolled under his skin. My hips began to move against him, my cock trapped firmly between our bodies as I gripped his hips through his jeans as bucked my hips up into him, but with every thrust of my hips, my cock was scraped by the abrasive material of his jeans and I hissed at the pain. His lips left mine and worked their way over my jaw and then down my neck. Arching my back and angling my head, I gave him as much room as possible. Slipping my hands from his waist to between us, I was able to undo his button and start to lower his zipper. He didn't feel my touch, but he heard the zipper and lifted his head.

Staring at me with fear in his eyes, I pulled one hand out and channeled it through his hair. "The jeans hurt," I explained, "I just want to feel you, not them."

Biting his kiss swollen lip, he debated my request. Even though I had given him a handjob, every time I wanted to touch him was like starting all over again. I think he feared that just because he had gotten hard a few times didn't mean it was going to happen every time, and maybe he was right, but that didn't matter to me.

But it did to him.

"Please," I begged, lifting my head to kiss his chin, "let me feel you against me, baby. Just you."

Finally he nodded, and I sighed in relief, my hand quickly leaving his hair and returning to his pants. To help me, he put his hands next to my head and lifted his upper body off me enough so I was able to yank his pants and underwear down over the curve of his delicious ass.

"Oh fuck," I moaned when his limp cock fell free and grazed my erection. Unable to stop himself, he looked between our bodies, down toward his cock, and sighed when he saw it was hanging heavy and flaccid. Cupping his cheek, I brought his attention back to me. "You're beautiful."

It was the only thing I could think of to say.

"So beautiful, baby," I repeated. Before he could deny it, I pulled on his hands, dropping his weight back onto me. Instinctively, his hands grabbed my wrists to stop me. Gasping at his strength, my breath stalled when he took my wrists and brought my hands above my head, stretching my arms out. Lacing his fingers with mine, he held my hands there.

It felt so dominating, powerful, and fucking hot.

"You like this?" he asked, lowering his mouth to my ear, his moist breath washing over me.

"Fuck yeah," I groaned.

I squirmed under his dead weight as he kissed along my neck, sucking and nibbling, leaving at least one more mark behind my ear. I didn't fucking care if he tattooed 'property of Cullen' on my neck with his mouth as long as he didn't fucking stop. Edward's buff body pressed me into the mattress in the most satisfying way and I writhed against him, my lips capturing his anytime they were near mine, moaning into the kiss. While his hips remained still, Edward's upper body did not. He was constantly moving against me, sweat glistened skin sliding along each other as his lips traveled over my collar bone. Ducking his head, he managed to flick his tongue over a nipple. I arched off the bed so high I almost knocked him off me. The sounds I made only encouraged him to tease me, giving me just enough to keep me on the edge, but never push me over.

He controlled me in every way, and I fucking loved it.

"I love it when you're like this," I mumbled against his lips as I bit his bottom one. "You're so fucking strong."

Squeezing my hands tightly to prove his strength, he lifted his head. Before he could go too far, I lifted my own and nipped his neck, before caressing it with my tongue right after. I felt the vibrations of his groan and matched it with one of my own. With each movement of my hips, my body, against his, I felt his cock begin to grow. It wasn't instantaneous, it took several circles and some grinding, but his length hardened until he was leaking precum as much as I was.

"Love you so damn much," I whispered reverently.

It was then that I felt it. It was slight, it was barely there, but his cock twitched against mine in response.

His head was buried in the crook of my neck while his lips sucked on the tender skin enough to drive me crazy but not mark me. Nuzzling my nose into his dampened hair, I murmured, "Babe, you're hard."Against my neck, I felt his lips curl into a relieved smile. "And you feel so fucking good sliding against me. It's going to make me come?"

Releasing my neck, he smashed his mouth to mine. I wrapped my legs around his hips, holding him even tighter to me. Grinding my hips up against the pressure, my cock rubbing along his, I used his body to get myself off. The smooth, rhythmic undulation of my hips against his weight quickly turned into frantic trusts, desperate in their need to seek the friction my cock yearned for. My fingers grasped his as the coil in my belly began to tighten, and I could feel the heaviness of my sac as it filled in anticipation.

"Fuck…yeah, baby, make me come…fuck, yeah," I whimpered. Tearing his lips away from mine, he raised his head and gazed down at me.

"Come for me, let me feel it," he said softly.

Holding his stare, I clenched his hands for leverage and thrust up three more times before I fell into the bliss that only he gave me. My balls pulled up into my body just as the coil sprung and I felt the fire travel up my spine, tingling everywhere and curling my toes as my climax surged through me.

"Coming," I growled with no control. Trapped between us, never even touched by his hand or mouth, my cock jerked and shot my load, coating our cocks and lower abs with my warm, sticky cum. My instinct was to push up as my cock emptied, but his unwavering weight kept me down and the climax literally overpowered me. The entire time my body shuddered, Edward watched me, his fingers stroking mine, his full lips parted as his staggered breaths escaped him. There was a deep flush to his sharp cheeks and a darkness in his eyes that had nothing to do with the one that followed him. As the last of my orgasm still flowed through me, the ripples of sensation still fresh, my body finally began to still and I sighed in pure contentment.

"You're so fucking hot when you come," he smiled down at me.

"Yeah?" I blushed.

"Yeah."

The steady rise and fall of his body on me synced with mine intoxicated me, lulling me into something I already knew. I never wanted him out of my arms.

Ever.

It wasn't going to be easy. If I got into UW with Edward, I was going to have to get loans that I would pay for years and I was going to have to ask my parents for help, but it would all be worth it when I came home every night to my boy.

"Can we stay like this?" I asked with a raised brow, still trying to catch my breath.

"Your dad might suspect something if he walked in right now."

"I don't know why he would. I'm just naked with my half-dressed hot boyfriend on me and we're covered in my cum. Nothing suspicious about that at all," I chuckled.

"No, nothing," he agreed.

His hold on my hands loosened and he released them, immediately putting his in my hair while mine went to his firm ass. I felt slightly guilty for groping his ass when he couldn't even feel it, but damn, he had a fine ass.

"Do you want me to touch you?" I offered, hissing when his erection brushed along my sensitive, sated cock. "See if you can have one of those…see if you can come again?"

"No, that's okay. I just wanted to be on you again." I nodded, and went to kiss him but he stopped me. "Am I…am I still hard?"

"Mmm, very. Feels amazing against me. Someday, baby, me and you, completely naked debauchery."

He laughed. "Maybe when we can get to the meadow again. Some place where we won't get caught."

"Promise?"

"Yes."

"You'll let me suck you?"

He swallowed at the thought, but I wasn't sure if it was because he was excited or scared by the question. "Yes," he answered, his voice stripped bare.

"Fuck. We're going tomorrow, I don't care if I have to carry you all the way up the trail. I want your cock in my mouth so fucking much, baby," I said quietly, but not leaving any room for him to back out.

He shook his head. "We can't. Practice."

"Soon then. Maybe this weekend if it's warm enough."

Instead of replying, he lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me fucking senseless. It was about half an hour later, just as my cock began to harden again and his softened, that we finally parted. Edward rolled off me and I reached to the bottom of the bed and grabbed my clothes, tugging on my shorts. Edward was on his back, his chest still heaving from our kisses, his jeans still down around his thighs, my dried cum was spread thin low on his abs. My eyes went straight to his length, limp and thick, lying nestled in short, auburn hairs. Self consciously, he reached down and covered himself. Leaning over, I grabbed his wrist and shook my head.

"Don't."

Gnawing on the inside of his lip, he let me direct his hand away. The rest of Edward was just as impression with his flat, defined abs with a dusting of hair gathered in the center that faded as it gave way to his trim waist then firm chest and developed pectorals, and finally, wide shoulders that now bulged with muscles wrapping all the way around them. His pale skin flushed under my attention and as much as Edward tried to hold my gaze, he looked away.

"Stop objectifying me," he chuckled. "Am I nothing more to you than your play toy? I feel so used."

"My life-size toy." Laughing, I leaned over and kissed him. "I'll be right back."

Darting across the hall, I wet a small towel and cleaned myself off, pulling my cock out and wiping it clean. Then I rewet the towel with some warm water, glancing at myself in the mirror as I did.

Even if my father hadn't caught us in the act, the look on my face would clearly give away what I had been doing. There was no mistaking what caused the deep flush on my cheeks, the fresh marks on my neck or the euphoria that still darkened my eyes.

Making love with Edward.

Nothing else would ever give me that high that being with him did.

Grinning like a schoolgirl at my post-coital face, I finished rinsing the towel and squeezed out the excess water. After I turned off the faucet, I walked back to my room, opening my partially closed door.

Instantly, I knew something was wrong. The air in the room was suffocating, and when my eyes dropped to Edward on the bed, my heart stopped. And it wasn't because of how hot he looked.

It was because in his hand he held a letter on heavy ivory paper. Slowly, he raised his confused eyes to mine and I swallowed thickly, my mouth suddenly completely dry.

"What is this?"

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

These boys own me. Completely.

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