If on a Winter's Night

by Touchstone67

One fateful, winter's night, Edward and Jasper's lives are turned upside down. Is their relationship strong enough to withstand the aftermath, or will they be driven apart forever? Rated M for sexual situations, language. AH J/E slash

23. Real Love

Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.

A/N-I started this chapter thinking it would be 10k max. It's a bit longer. These boys just get talking and I can't stop typing!

Thank you to everyone that reads and reviews and supports this story.

This chapter is unbeta'd, all mistakes, grammatical and otherwise, are mine.

Special thanks to Dannie, who stuck by me for so long with this story, if it wasn't for her encouragement and faith in my writing, these boys wouldn't be here.

Now Jasper's pov

"**~~**"

If on a winter's night he hadn't insisted we change our future…

"**~~**"

Edward always challenged me.

Even when he didn't realize he was doing it, he challenged me to run faster, get better grades, and just simply be a better person. And I welcomed every challenge he brought to me.

But right then in my bedroom as he lay half dressed on my bed, his cheeks still flushed from what we had just finished doing, the last thing I wanted was for him to challenge me. Every argument I made for why I needed to go to UW with him, he countered.

What sucked was he countered really fucking well.

When I had first walked back into the room and saw the letter in his hands, my heart literally stopped. I think it missed several beats before I realized he was yelling at me. I didn't think I was going to be able to get him to listen to me, but somehow, he calmed enough to pay attention to what I was saying. It never dawned on me when I put my hand on his leg to make sure he didn't leave that not only could he not leave that room without me, but he couldn't even feel my hand on his leg.

He often said I was the most stubborn person he knew, but there were days where I thought that title easily belonged to him. No matter how many times I told him I wanted to go to college with him, I knew he was still thinking I had applied to those other places because I didn't. But it hadn't been that at all, it had been exactly as I said. They mailed me an application waiver, I checked them out online and applied. Nothing more, nothing less.

I had never thought about getting in, much less getting a scholarship.

"Why didn't you tell me you got in?" His hand covered mine. Instantly mine flipped and our fingers automatically laced. It was as natural as breathing.

"Because I wanted to decide first. If I wasn't going there, then I wasn't going to tell you. I didn't want you to worry."

"And if you decided to go?"

"I never would have. I just didn't know that until I got the letter. Until I got the letter and the chance of me going became a reality, I hadn't thought about it much. It wasn't even a factor to me. I applied and that was the end of it. But now, these past few days, I've realized I knew all along that even if I got in, I couldn't go. I couldn't be that far away from you."

"Because I'm in the chair?"

"No."

"Then why?"

Smiling, I reached up and ran a finger down his cheek. Even after a few years together, after sticking by him after the accident, it amazed me he still didn't know. "Because I love you."

It was the simplest of all reasons. One that our parents would probably scoff at, telling us we were young and foolish and making life altering decisions based on emotions and not logic or reason. But I didn't give a fuck. I loved Edward. I wanted to be with him every second of every God damn fucking day that I lived, and if that meant giving up my own dream and paying for college, then I would.

It was Edward that wouldn't let me.

My finger was still on his cheek when the first tear rolled down it. Catching it under the pad of my thumb, I wiped it away. He asked what he had done to get my attention and I almost laughed. The answer was so stupid he would never believe me, but it was the truth.

My first day at Forks High I had walked into my third period biology, dreading the introduction to the class the teachers had made me do. The day had been long already and I wasn't looking forward to being alone when all the other kids were already paired off into lab partners.

All except one.

He was sitting on a stool at a lab table, the kind with the thick, black tops and a couple of drawers and doors underneath. With his head down, he was busy furiously writing something on a notebook as I approached. At first, all I had noticed was the unique color of his hair. It reminded me of the late summer sunsets in Texas.

But then he looked up and I stopped in my tracks.

Not only did he have the unique hair, but he had the most incredible eyes, dark and light and perfect with so many shades of green, framed in long lashes to go with it. If I had looked out the window at the field and the forest surrounding it, I wouldn't have found as many shades of green as were in his eyes. Then there were his sculpted cheeks stained pink, like he'd just come in from the cold. His jaw was square and clean shaven, and his lips…his lips fucking killed me. Full, slightly wet, and delicious.

Well, I didn't know if they were delicious but I vowed to someday find out.

He motioned for me to sit down next to him and I swear my cock twitched. I'd seen cute boys in Texas but none of those tanned southern boys had anything on the pale God from Forks. Glancing at the notebook in front of him, I saw what appeared to be music notes scrawled in the margins. I choked out in an embarrassingly squeaky 'hey' as I sat down and let my bag fall to the floor. Then he spoke to me and I realized his voice was as incredible as the rest of him. It was velvet cake and creamy icing.

I was completely, utterly taken.

"You were sitting in biology," I shrugged. It sounded stupid when I said it aloud.

"I'm serious."

"So am I." To convince him, I leaned forward and swept my lips over his. "That's all it took for me, baby. You were breathtaking in every way. You still are."

"And you're a dork."

"Your dork."

"A full scholarship is huge. Your parents must be relieved."

"Doesn't matter."

"Why not?"

He was maddening. "Weren't you listening? I told you I'm not going to OSU. I'm going to wait until I hear from UW and go there with you."

"What if you don't get into UW? What if you tell OSU no and then can't go with me anyway? What then? You've wasted a chance to go for free and you're still not at the same school as me."

His words had been my fear. What if the first of May passed and I didn't accept OSU's offer, and then I got rejected by UW. It had kept me up late at night, it plagued my thoughts when I ran, along with just about every quiet moment I had.

"Then I hope I get into one of the other places in Seattle I applied to."

"Are any of them as good as OSU?" I looked away and he continued. "You can't do this, Jasper. You can't give up this scholarship for me. I won't let you."

Bringing my eyes back to his, I glared at him. "It's not your choice."

"No, it's not. But do you want me to feel guilty that you gave up a chance like this for me? Do you think that will make me feel good?"

No, he wasn't going to pull that. No fucking way.

Dropping his hand, I bolted off the bed and began pacing back and forth. Frustrated, I tugged on my hair to stop myself from shaking some fucking sense into him. "This is exactly why I didn't fucking tell you. I knew you would try to pull some shit like this. I fucking knew it. I knew you'd tell me to go, asshole."

"I would be an asshole if I let you give up a chance like this for me. What kind of person would that make me, huh, Jasper? What kind of guy lets his boyfriend do that?"

Taking a few deep breaths to calm myself, I rubbed my hands over my face. "So you're telling me I need to go so you don't feel guilty?"

"Yes…I mean no."

"Which is it?" I asked, raising a brow. I was pushing his buttons, I knew, and I still pushed them.

"Fuck, Jasper. Up until five minutes ago, I didn't even know this was an option. Give me some fucking time to get used to the idea, okay?" he spat back just as frustrated.

I wanted to rewind time and go back to us humping on the bed. I wouldn't have left the room, he never would have found the letter. Hanging my head back, I sighed. "Can we just pretend you didn't see the letter?"

"Afraid not. We've talked about college a lot, but now I realize we really didn't. I talked about UW, you talked about living together."

He was right. If I thought back to our conversations about college, we rarely talked about the same things. He focused on UW, what it would be like to play for them and bragged about their music program. For me, it wasn't about where I went, the campus, or the professors, it was about being with Edward. The location was secondary to having him by my side.

"I told you, I don't care where I go."

"That's just it. You should care. It's your fucking future too, Jasper. I love you, I want to be with you, but I can't be responsible for you going to a school you don't want to go to."

"Damn it, I told you I only applied to OSU because it was free and the campus looked nice."

It was true, that had been why I had applied, but then once I'd received the scholarship, something had changed. It was slight and I often forced it away, but I honestly couldn't deny its existence. I had begun to want something else. Something that felt so wrong, I didn't even admit it to myself. It wasn't right. It was the last thing I should have wanted.

Edward knew I was holding back and he called me on it. "Are you sure about that?" Unable to face him, I turned away. I couldn't see the hurt look in his eyes when I told him the truth. "Then why did you apply?"

"I want to run, Edward," I admitted for the first time to anyone, even myself. "You're good at so many things, but running is all I'm good at. I'm not the best by any means, but I love it. In Texas, running kept me sane when I was so confused about liking boys. Up until your accident, running made me feel so alive and strong. Now…it's different now. But I still want to do it. It's part of who I am. I can't stop."

"Then don't," he murmured softly.

It was easy to say that, it was easy to tell myself I shouldn't stop running because of him, but every time I did it and I thought about him not being able to, guilt overwhelmed me. It was wrong to want to run when he couldn't. Before I could stop them, a few tears escaped.

"I shouldn't want to run."

"Why? Because I can't? Jas, you can't do this to yourself. You can't give up your life for me. I won't let you."

"You can't stop me," I shot back, glancing at him over my shoulder.

"So fucking stubborn," he sighed. "You said you want to run. You can't run at UW?"

"Not like I can at OSU. A few years ago they had some really big budget cuts and had to cut some of their athletic programs. One of them was track and field. They've got more money now, so they have started to reestablish the sport. They started with the girls' team and now they are working on the boys. Spring of next year will be their first team in a few years. The scholarship is for that."

"They want you to run for them?" Still refusing to face him, I nodded and he continued. "Jasper, that's…awesome. Love, do you have any idea how special that is?"

"What do you mean?"

"They are putting together a new program, they want to get the best they can find to start it off, right? And they picked you, Jas. They think you are one of the best."

"I didn't even win states last year," I reminded him.

"You were coming off a fucking broken ankle, and you came in second by less than a second. Don't you get it? OSU thinks you are worth taking a thirty thousand dollar chance on. Trust me, they're right."

When Edward had gotten the scholarship for basketball, he'd had doubts on whether or not he was good enough to play at that level. Every time he questioned it, I reminded him that the school wanted him, they scouted him, they sought him out. They wouldn't have chosen him if they didn't have faith in his ability.

He was throwing my words, my encouragement to him, right back at me.

"Maybe it means they're desperate," I suggested.

"No. After you applied and told them you ran, they checked you out."

"It doesn't matter anyway. I'm not going."

"Jesus fucking Christ, I could kill you sometimes. Turn around," he demanded.

I turned around, trying to look defiant even with tears on my face. "I'm not going, Edward."

"Love, you have to."

No.

"What I have to do is be with you. UW will take me, I know it."

"Jas, answer this honestly, okay? If it were me, what would you tell me to do? Say I got offered a scholarship to a school for wheelchair basketball. If our roles were reversed, and it was me that would be going further away, what would you want me to do to?"

I would do and say everything I could to get him to go. He deserved it, he earned it, he needed to take advantage of it. "I'd tell you to go."

"Then why won't you listen to me when I say the same thing?" he asked quietly.

"Because it's different. You don't need me as much as I need you."

He asked if my parents knew and I told him what my mom had said, but neglected to tell him about her saying Edward and I needed time apart because he had grown too dependent on me. She was wrong anyway. Then he asked if I thought I might get a scholarship from UW like I had OSU and I told him it was unlikely. UW already had a team, they had people begging to run for them.

"Jas-"

No. I couldn't hear him say the words. It would make the possibility of going without him too real. "Don't fucking say it, Edward," I warned as I sat down on the bed. "I'm. Not. Going."

"It's the chance of a lifetime, love. You have to," he said softly, taking my hand into his again. "We can do it. How far away is it?"

"Four hours."

"That's not too far."

"Four hours too far. Edward, sometimes I feel like I can't breathe when you make me stay home a night. How am I supposed to do it for weeks on end?"

"We'll figure out a way," he assured me. "There's webcams and we can text and talk all the time."

There was not one hint of doubt in his voice. It was as if he knew it would all work out. Somehow, someway, it would work out and we would still be together, just not at the same college or the same apartment. I looked down at our hands, so comfortable in each other's. Could I handle going a day when I didn't hold his hand? Could I handle it for weeks on end?

"But what about our dream of living at college together?"

"Maybe I can transfer after the first year. Maybe all we have to do is get through one year. We'll see each other on holidays and some weekends. Then next May, we'll be together," he explained.

He had an answer for everything, but it wasn't going to make time go by faster. Bringing my gaze back to his, I saw all the same questions in his woodsy eyes, they were as confused as mine, but above all else, I saw his love. "I don't want to be apart from you for a year."

"Me either, but I'm not letting you give this up. It's too good an offer."

He was doing exactly as I knew he would. He was telling me to go. He was insisting I leave him.

"Are you still mad I didn't tell you?"

"Hell yes. I can't believe you were going to make this decision without asking me," he said with an edgy hint to his voice.

"Because I knew you would tell me go to," I whispered.

"And you knew you would listen to me," he murmured and I nodded.

Of course I would. I would do anything he said. He was the voice of reason in my dream filled mind. Regardless if I knew he was right, if he was telling me what I already knew he would, it still hurt like hell.

"Jasper, you know whatever happens, whether we are five feet apart or four hours, wherever tomorrow brings us, I'll be there," he promised.

It was our future he was risking. Not only the big things like finding an apartment together, but the little things too. The things I'd been looking forward to, like waking up in his arms and walking to class with him by my side.

Or cooking him dinner.

"Who's going to cook you pasta?" I asked, feeling another tear slid down my cheek.

"You can cook it when you visit."

If he was alone, if I wasn't there, then how was he going to battle the darkness when it shrouded him? Who would be there for him if I wasn't? "Who will fight the darkness?" I asked quietly. Sighing, he tilted his head and lifted his hands, his fingers twisting the ends of my hair.

"I'm sure it'll be gone by then. It gets tired of fighting you all the time." He countered every fucking argument I gave with reason.

"But what if it comes back? I can't let it get you." Now that I knew about it, it was my job to fight it off. Nothing was more important than protecting Edward, making sure he got to lead the life he wanted.

"As long as you love me, it won't. I swear. You gotta go, love. We need to let it be and see what happens."

I hated he was right. Fucking hated it, but I nodded anyway. Releasing my hand, he used both of his to push himself further up my bed so that he was resting against the headboard. He held out his hand to me. Accepting it, I curled into his side, fitting my body perfectly to his as his arm wrapped around me and mine went over his middle. I would miss cuddling with him whenever I wanted to, but the more I considered what he was suggesting, the calmer I became. Not that I wanted to be apart from him, I didn't, but I also knew that nothing would diminish our love. Not time or distance.

For the rest of my life, I was his.

"Babe?"

"Yeah?"

"You know I'm all in, right? Like, for life?" I breathed, watching the pulse jump in his neck at my words of devotion. He turned his head, his nose nudging my hair as he took a deep breath.

"Me too, love, I'm all in too."

Relieved, I closed my eyes and held him just a little bit closer. Suddenly, I looked up at him and found him staring at me with a silly grin on his face. "What?" I rested my chin on his chest.

"You're like magic or something," he chuckled.

"Huh?"

"I was so pissed at you when I found that letter. Pissed you hadn't told me, pissed you were leaving me, and now…"

"You love me?" I grinned, dimples and all.

"Very much."

Edward and I had our share of arguments. Early in our relationship, they tended to center around Bella, but as time went on, they were usually stupid and small and sometimes I think we only had them so we could have make-up bjs. Before the accident there had only been one time I'd been so mad at him that I had stormed off and refused to answer his phone calls all night. The next day I found myself on his doorstep with black circles under my eyes silently pleading with him to forgive me. As soon as he fell into my arms, I knew he already had. I never doubted we could work through just about anything, but what we had just done, what we had just talked about, was life changing. Suddenly the dreams we'd shared for two years were no longer going to be a reality. I wasn't as set on the idea of being separated as he seemed to be. His reasons and logic made sense, but my heart was telling me I'd never survive.

I think my heart was right.

Edward sighed and kissed my temple. He was silent, his breaths steady, and I my throat began to constrict when I tried to imagine a time when a day would go by and I wouldn't touch him. I wasn't ready for that day yet. Not even fucking close.

Reaching over, he put my phone on the iHome and his playlist started. I burrowed into his neck when the mp3 of the music he'd composed for me started playing. It was such a girly thing to do, and yet it made me smile every time I heard it. Hearing the piano reminded me of something he'd promise to tell me.

"Tell me what happened with Mr. Harter."

His fingers were grazing up and down my bare spine and I trembled. "He's doing some traveling in Europe this summer, but he had already taken on students for piano lessons before he found out he was going. So he asked me if I would teach them while he's gone."

"He wants you to take over his students?"

"Yeah, for the summer. He had me play for him. I must have passed," he smiled.

"Babe, that's awesome. You'll be able to save up enough money for us to-" I stopped short when I realized I was about to say for us to live off campus. If we were at different schools, there would be no living off campus. Not for me anyway. I would be stuck in some random dorm room with some annoying roommate while Edward would be in an apartment alone.

For nine months we would be apart.

It was doable, right? Not for me, not when Edward wasn't with me.

Instead of saying something, he nuzzled his nose in my hair. Closing my eyes I sighed. "So what did you tell him?" I asked, bringing the subject back to music.

"I said yes. He's going to pay me twenty dollars an hour, which is what he charges for a lesson. He said it would easy with me because he knew how I played and when the summer was over, I could tell him what level everyone is at."

"That's really great. I'm so proud of you."

"I should probably practice a little, brush up on some sheet music. I haven't played much since the accident. He said some might want to start before summer."

"You'll be busy," I sighed, worried he would have little time for me.

"Don't even think that," he whispered, reading my thoughts.

"At least we've the meadow this weekend," I reminded him. "The weather is supposed to be nice on Saturday." Before he said anything, I knew something was wrong. "What?"

"About that…at practice last night, coach announced that our first game is Saturday."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I was a little preoccupied with my fingers in your ass," he quipped and I blushed. "Then I just forgot."

"So no meadow on Saturday?" I pouted.

"No, but maybe Sunday?"

"Okay," I groaned.

"Not sure I've ever seen you so eager to go to the meadow."

"It's not the meadow I'm eager for, it's your cock." It was his turn to blush as he rolled his eyes. "You promised."

"I know, I know," he nodded.

"Are you excited about the game?"

"More like nervous."

I rose up onto my elbow and leaned forward enough to capture his lips in a light kiss. We were both still shirtless and I was clearly wrapped in his arms. If my father walked in, he would definitely have some questions, but there were some things that were way more important than whether or not our parents knew about us. One of those things was calming Edward the only way I knew.

"I feel better," he chuckled.

"See? This is why you need me around next year," I said trying to convince him that he couldn't survive without me even though I knew the opposite to be true.

"I will need you, and I will talk to you every day." He stared at me before asking, "Can I ask you something?"

"Yes, I will suck your cock right now."

His chest rumbled with his laughter. "Good try, but that wasn't it."

"Damn, losing my touch." Laying my head back on his chest, I asked, "What is it?"

"We've talked about college a lot and you've always known where I wanted to go and what I wanted to major in, but you never really decided. One time it was history, another it was English, one time I think it was Nija studies…"

"That was when I was under the influence," I said, hitting his shoulder.

He was right. My thoughts on what I wanted to do for the rest of my life changed from month to month. When I was a kid in Texas, I had wanted to be a cowboy, but after I witnessed firefighters saving my neighbor's house, I wanted to be a fireman, then a vet, and for awhile I thought it would be cool to be in a circus. By the time I hit eighth grade, I knew history and English were my best subjects, but I wasn't sure how I would go about getting a job as Indiana Jones. My imagination always guaranteed me an 'A' on papers in English class and I considered being an author. But as all those had entered and fled my mind, one thing had always remained constant.

I was a runner.

Once I had started doing it competitively, and realized I was pretty good, I wondered if I could do something with running for work, but had no idea what.

"You must have looked when you applied to these other places."

"Not really. I mean, they all had English or history, and those are my best subjects, so if I got in, I could just do one of them, but…"

"What?"

"You're going to laugh."

"Never," he laughed.

"I've always kind of wanted to do something with running, but I wasn't sure what. Like a coach or something?"

"You'd make a great coach, love."

"Well, I've changed my mind, and after getting into OSU, I think I've finally found my major," I admitted. When I had applied, a month before Edward's accident, I had listed English as my preferred major, like I had with them all, but since New Year's Eve, things had changed and with them, my interests.

"To what?"

Looking down at his chest, I traced a nipple, smiling when it perked up and his upper body shuddered. "Since…since the accident, I've been doing all this research, ya know? And well…I find it really interesting and I think I want to continue it. Maybe do something in sports science. Maybe PT or researching paralysis or SCIs or something…"

He was quiet and I began gnawing on my lip, my eyes firmly fixated on the pulse in his neck. His hand left his side and brushed the hair back from my face. "Jas?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

Relieved, I gave him my dimples again." I love you too."

His fingers still held the ends of my hair, sending shivers down my spine. "Does OSU have that?"

"Yeah," I nodded shyly, hating to admit that I had looked after I'd been accepted.

"The spasms I told you about, you already knew about them, didn't you?"

"Spasticity? Yeah," I nodded, "a little."

"Bullshit. You know more than a little."

"After a SCI, the nerve cells are cut off from the brain because of scar tissue around the injury. Right after an injury the spine goes into shock, and can take a few weeks to a few months to recover. Once the shock wears off, the natural reflex of the muscle reappears. Spasticity is an exaggeration of the normal reflexes, but it usually only occurs when something brings it on. For me, it would be like if I was pinched. The nerves send a message to the brain up my spine and my brain tells my muscle if it is dangerous or not. Basically, if my brain senses no danger, it sends a signal to tell my leg to not move. But for you, it's different. That signal to not move is blocked so the natural reflex to move continues anyway, contracting the muscles. Lots of things can cause it, including bladder and kidney infections. Some say it's a good thing because it might show an infection when you wouldn't normally feel one. Anyway, normally if you workout and stretch, you don't get them often, but they can still happen. You having one is a sign that your spine is no longer in shock and now maybe you can start doing more physical things. It's also good because it can improve functions like transferring when you stand on your feet for those few seconds…"

When I finally looked up, he was beaming. Fucking beaming.

"I just babbled, didn't I?" I sighed.

"And I fucking loved it. Jas, I love that you know this stuff because honestly, it scares the shit out of me. I get online and last about a minute because I can't handle reading it. I don't want to know all the awful things that might happen. I'd probably never leave my house if I knew. But having you know…it means I don't have to know and that makes it so much easier, trust me."

"Really?"

"Definitely. I also think that you will make an amazing PT or researcher."

"Do you honestly think so? You don't think it's a stupid idea?"

"Fuck no. You've always been good at anatomy."

"Well, your anatomy anyway," I chuckled. "Seriously though, I don't know if I'm smart enough. A lot of biology, anatomy and physiology…some really hard shit. If I get into the research aspect of it, I'd have to find an area to concentrate in."

"Is there a lot of research on it? Like that's going on right now?"

"All the time. It's amazing how far they've come." Edward sighed and turned his head to the side, but still held me tight. "You okay?" When he didn't answer, I grew worried and kissed his neck, feeling the heat radiating off him. "Babe?"

When he spoke, his voice was so quiet I barely heard him. "Remember I told you that I wake up in the morning and for a few seconds I forget I can't walk?"

Unable to say anything, I just nodded. I remembered seeing that happiness in his eyes quickly morph to sadness.

Keeping his turned away from me, he continued as softly as before. "For the past few weeks, maybe a little more, I've been having the same dream almost every night. We're at graduation. My parents are in the stands, all our classmates are around us. I'm always scared about giving the valedictorian speech, but you calm me down every time. You tell me…you tell me…." He stopped and took a few breaths. Not wanting to push him, I waited for him to continue on his own. Reaching down, I took his hand in mine and entwined our fingers again, then kissed his shoulder.

Long moments passed, a few songs played on the iHome before I finally spoke. "What do I tell you, babe?"

Closing his eyes, he imagined the dream in his head. "I tell you that I'm nervous and you tell me that they will love my speech. Then I tell you I want to walk to the stage and you tell me that if I just believe in it, it will happen."

I tried to wipe the tear before it fell from my eye onto his chest, but I knew he felt it anyway. There were things in my life I wanted to change or do better, things I could always attempt if I wanted, but what Edward was dreaming every single night was something that probably wasn't going to happen. There were no miraculous cures for SCI. There was therapy and surgeries and equipment, but there wasn't anything that would make him just stand up from his chair and walk. Not even the strength of my love for him could do that.

How does someone tell their boyfriend, someone they've watched struggle daily, that their dream was just that…a dream. That it would probably never be reality.

The answer is they don't. They let him have the dream. The few minutes of peace when their body feels whole and alive and complete again.

"Then you go sit down and Mr. Bradshaw calls me up. I look back at you and you're always smiling or winking at me or something. I reach down and take my feet off the pedals and put them on the ground. Then I look back at you and push myself upright. I feel awkward and clumsy but I walk to the stage and go up the steps. I see you sitting there, and I know I was able to walk because of you. You gave me the courage and the strength. I give my speech and watch you the entire time. The speech changes each time, but in the end, you always do the same thing."

Lifting my head, I put my fingers under his chin and force his wet eyes to mine. "What do I do?"

He smiles. It's small and sad, but he smiles and I see the world in his eyes. The greens fill with our history and our future. I see every time we held hands and kissed, and I see us holding hands in front of our parents and friends. I see nothing but joy with no hint of the sadness that surrounds my boy so much.

"You run up the aisle and jump onto the stage. Then you hug me and spin me around, then," he took a deep breath, "then you kiss me. Right there at graduation in front of everyone. Our parents, our friends…everyone."

I grinned. "Well, you will look irresistible in a maroon gown."

The tension was slightly relived and he gave me an earnest smile. "It is my color."

"Babe, every color is your color. Do you get mad at me for outing us?"

"No." He shook his head. "That's just it. In the speech I give, I out us before you even get up. By the time you reach the stage, everyone already knows I'm in love with you."

I kissed him, feather light and brief. "That sounds like a beautiful dream."

"It is. One that I desperately want to come true," he confessed. "Jasper, do you think with all the research they're doing that maybe it could come true? Maybe there is something they can do for me so I can walk up there?"

Edward's logic and my dreams usually balanced each other out. He was reasonable, I wasn't. But right then it was as if our roles had reversed. He was the one having the hope and daring to dream about something while I was the one holding back and not wanting to get him excited about something that was unlikely.

I couldn't tell him what he didn't want to hear.

I loved him. He was my life and I wasn't going bring him down. Instead, I would lift myself up to his dream, I would live it and hope it with him.

"You never know, they make progress every day," I answered as best I could. Relieved, he exhaled and drew me in for a grateful kiss. Edward was a brilliant boy, he knew as well as I did that his dream probably wouldn't happen, but after feeling the spasm, his hope had been raised.

"I really want to walk," he murmured against my lips. "I want to dance with you again."

Before he could stop me, I was off the bed and standing next to it. His wide eyes watched me as I bent over and slid my arms under his knees and shoulders. Grunting, I lifted him and he fell against me, wrapping both arms around my neck and putting his head on my shoulder. "Real Love" started to play and I shuffled…our feet back and forth. They were no longer my feet or my legs, I shared them, just like I shared everything else, with Edward. My heart already belonged to him, and he'd owned my body since the first day I saw him.

Resting my head on his, I hummed along with the song while Edward's fingers toyed with the curls at the nape of my neck. The heat from his bare chest seeped through my skin and warmed my blood. There was never a more perfect feeling than his body against mine. I didn't care how well it did or didn't work, none of that mattered.

"This isn't what I meant," he whispered into my neck, "But thank you."

Smiling, I kissed his forehead, encouraging him to lift his head so I could kiss his lips. A spark shot through me the instant our tongues met. The small, raised scar low on his back rubbed against my arm, a reminder of why I was holding him to begin with.

I thought about his dream. It might be impossible, but I was going to do everything I could to make it happen for him. As we danced, as I held my boy in my arms, I vowed to myself that somehow, someway, Edward would walk on that stage.

The song changed, but we didn't.

We just danced and kissed and loved.

It was all I knew to do.

"**~~**"

The sound of my feet hitting the pavement was rhythmic, calming, soothing. It always had been.

Until Edward was hurt.

Now each step sounded like guilt. Instead of listening to the slap of my feet on the track, I popped my earbuds in and hit the playlist Edward had made for me.

The night before we had danced to a few more songs before Edward insisted he was too heavy and made me put him down. Knowing my father was going to be home soon, we put on our tee shirts and sat a respectable distance from each other. We got talking about training for the race and then Edward's eyes brightened. Without telling me why, he told me to get his cell phone from his bag downstairs. When I returned, he took it from me, along with mine, and dragged himself across my bed to my desk chair. I watched in awe as he easily moved from the bed to the chair and then pulled it up the desk. Sitting on the bed, I watched over his shoulder as he did a few things in iTunes. It was several minutes later that he was done and handed my phone back to me with a coy grin.

"What did you do?"

"You'll see."

My father had arrived home about twenty minutes later, talked with us for a few minutes, and then I drove Edward home. After a long kiss in the truck, I helped him into his chair and then watched him go into his house. Jumping back in the truck, I scrolled through my phone and found a new playlist called

Totally Awesome Music For Sure.

"What the fuck did you do, Edward," I mumbled as I plugged it into the radio and hit play. "Oh, you did not." By the time the song started, I was already laughing.

Risin' up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive

Edward had transferred his eighties music that he used for working out to my phone. Shaking my head, I backed out of his driveway and headed home.

With Survivor playing the entire way.

When I picked him up the next morning, he pretended to know nothing as he rolled down the ramp. In the truck, he kissed my cheek before putting his head on my shoulder all the way to school. Neither of us had slept much the night before. After I had gotten home, I'd called him and once again spent the night on the phone with him, sleeping with mine on speakerphone next to me on my pillow. Just hearing him breathe on the other end seemed to be enough to calm me and lull me into a sleep. Throughout school, it took every bit of restraint I had to not talk to him more about college. Instead, I had to listen to him tell everyone about his first basketball game, and he even invited Bella to ride with us when she said she wanted to come. He knew I was still upset, he could see it even if no one else could. When he looked at me at lunch, I tried to smile but ended up just looking away. I didn't want to be without him. He was right, I knew it, but I didn't like it.

It just hurt.

While he made plans with Bella, I sulked. While he ate, I pouted. While he talked, I remained silent. On the way to gym, he pushed his chair next to me, almost close enough to brush my leg. When I glanced down, I saw the mirrored pain in his eyes. It wasn't easy for him either.

He hurt too.

With the music playing in my ears, my breaths evened out, my arms pumped loosely and my stride steadied. I let my mind wander to an easier time, a time when our love was unborn, long before I had realized that I had anything more than a physical attraction for Edward.

After the first time I'd gone over his house to do homework, it quickly became a regular thing. I was all for spending as much time as possible with him, sometimes I tended to forget he had a girlfriend.

Edward was sitting in his computer chair while I was on his bed with a few books sprawled between us. We were putting the finishing touches on a biology lab we had done. The Beatles were playing in the background as we debated over the lab results.

"I don't think that's right," I said, questioning his answer.

"It's right, I did it both ways and I get the same answer," he argued. He had to have been the most frustrating person ever. He was also the most gorgeous. Especially when he was mad and his brows lowered and his eyes darkened. "Well, then what is the answer?"

"Seventeen."

Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair and looked down at his paper again, studying the numbers for a minute. I stared at the tip of his tongue peeking out between his pink lips as he concentrated.

"Fuck," he murmured and shook his head. "You're right, it's seventeen." He changed his answer and then sat back in his chair. "Do you want something to eat?"

Keeping my head lowered to hide my satisfied smile, I replied, "Sure, that'd be great."

He put his notebook down and left the room. Once I was sure he was out, I reached over for his sweatshirt sitting on the edge of the bed. Glancing over my shoulder at the door, I brought it up to my nose and inhaled his faint scent, letting it fill my lungs. It was better than air itself. When I heard footsteps on the stairs, I tossed his sweatshirt down and pretended to be deep in thought when he walked in with a plate full of cookies and two sodas.

"You like Coke, right?"

"Sure." I didn't care if had brought me a prune juice, I would have drank it. Handing me the coke, he put the plate on the bed between us as he sat down in his chair again. Picking up a chocolate chip cookie, I bit into it. "These are really good," I mumbled, spraying cookie crumbs onto my homework. Sweeping my hand over it, I brushed them away. "Did your mom bake these?"

Edward opened his Mountain Dew and took a long swallow. Mesmerized, I watched his Adam's apple bob up and down. When he was finished, he wiped the back of his hand over mouth and nodded. "Yeah, she bakes…a lot. Like all the time."

"I can tell they're homemade and not store bought," I said, finishing off one and starting a second.

"How?"

I shrugged. "Texture mostly."

He tried to stop the smile, but the corners of his lips curled up anyway. "Jasper, do you bake?" My gaze dropped to a spot on the bed. "Oh my God, you do. You bake."

"Sometimes," I confessed. He barely contained his giggling. "What? It's relaxing."

Picking up a cookie, he looked at me curiously. "What else do you bake?"

"I don't know. Brownies, cakes, muffins. Oh, I've done an apple pie," I bragged.

"I like pie. And cookies," he hinted.

"Maybe I'll make you some."

"That'd be cool." The lab report forgotten, he leaned back in his chair and put his feet up on the bed. "What else do you like to do?"

Not wanting to sound too geeky and scare him off, I skipped over WoW and opted for a straight guy, and slightly less geeky approach. "I run."

"Run?"

"Yeah, run. I did cross country and track in Texas. I've run a few five k races too."

"That's cool. How did you do?"

"I won my age group a few times."

"I play basketball," he announced proudly. "But sometimes I run before the season. Maybe we can run together sometime."

I sat up straighter and eyed him. "Sure, that'd be cool."

"Not sure you could keep up with me though," he smirked as he reached for another cookie.

My body instantly accepted his challenged. "I think I can handle you just fine."

"Care to find out?"

"Now?"

He shrugged. "Why not?"

If I said no, I would look scared, but I wasn't exactly dressed for running. "You're on," I grinned, pulling off my sweatshirt. Edward finished off his soda and burped before going to his dresser. He pulled out a pair of running shorts and threw them to me. Then he started to undo his jeans and was pulling them down his strong legs before I'd even registered what he was doing. Trying really fucking hard not to stare at him, I took off my own pants and put on the shorts. I followed him out of the house to the driveway.

"To the end of this road and back is a mile. Can you run that far?"

"Are you kidding?" I snorted. A mile was a walk in the part for me. He gave me a once over as I did a few stretches. "Any rules?"

"No tripping," he smiled.

"What does the winner get?"

"Bragging rights. Ready?"

I nodded and then at the exact same time, we both started off in a slow jog. Side by side we ran along the edge of the road, both of us going slow as we tried to sense what the other was capable of. My pace was easy, my breathing not anywhere near heavy as we neared the quarter mile mark. Edward still seemed pretty steady, his legs matching me stride for stride. I wanted to impress him with my running and my competitive nature was telling me to win at all costs, but at the same time I wondered if I should let him win. Even though I didn't know him very well, I could tell he wasn't the type of guy to just let someone win.

And neither was I.

Edward was going down.

We hit the half mile turn and crossed the street. "What's the farthest you've ever run?" he said, starting to get a bit breathless.

"Seven miles," I grinned, even showing off my little used dimples.

"Fuck," he groaned.

"Want to call it a draw?" I asked, taking pity on him as he began to pump his arms a bit more.

"No fucking way," he snapped and started running faster. To give him a boost of confidence, I let him run ahead of me, even putting some distance between us. Glancing over his shoulder, he winked at me. "Running out of steam?"

Instead of answering, I inhaled a deep breath and took a few long strides and then I was next to him again. "Not even close."

His house was in sight, there was less than an eighth of a mile left. Before I could stop myself, I went into my finishing kick and pulled away from him each time my feet slammed the road. By the time he reached his yard, I was sitting on his porch steps waiting for him. Gasping for breath, he leaned over and put his hands on his knees.

"You suck," he huffed and I laughed.

"You wanted to run," I reminded him.

Straightening, he walked over to me. I couldn't look away from his glistening skin or the color on his cheeks. "And I want to again."

"Huh?"

"When basketball season rolls around, I need to run to get in shape. Want to run with me?"

Every fucking day of forever.

"Sure," I answered casually, hoping to not betray my inner excitement.

"Oh, and next time? You and me, one on one basketball," he said as he passed by me into his house.

The music still played in my ears as I ran around the track. Sweat dripped down my forehead and stung my eyes, but I didn't bother to wipe it. If I concentrated hard enough, I could almost feel Edward running beside me, his feet hitting the ground in time with mine, his breaths slightly more labored as he struggled to match my pace.

I missed running with my boy as much as he missed running.

The more I thought about our future, the one that had suddenly gotten so fucked up in one day, I knew that there was no way I could do it. He was stronger than me, he depended on me less than I did him. There was no way I could make it a year without him. Web cams and phone calls were great, but they were a poor substitute for his fingers in my hand or his lips against mine.

Going to OSU on a scholarship might have been a chance of a lifetime, but Edward was the one I wanted to spend my lifetime with.

Barely winded, I finished my six miles and headed for the locker room where I showered and changed quickly before rushing over to Edward's. He was waiting for me, his duffle bag on his lap as he pushed down the ramp to greet me.

"Hey, love," he smiled.

"Hey, babe," I returned his smile. The worries and fears from just an hour earlier faded as he neared. He was like a deep, cleansing breath of air. Opening his door, I lifted him into the cab and put his basketball chair in the back, securing it with bungee cords before getting in the truck. "Mind if we hit McDonald's? I'm starving."

"Sure." After we went through the drive thru and I had my shake and burger, we headed for the highway, Edward's hand on my thigh and his head on my shoulder. "How was practice?" His voice was muffled by my arm.

"Pretty good. I ran six miles pretty easily. I'm going to up it to seven this weekend."

"That's great. Did you listen to anything?" I didn't reply, I just hummed "Eye of the Tiger" and felt him laugh next to me. "Emmett would be proud."

There had been a shift between us, a resignation or acceptance of sorts. It was like we both knew what was happening, and as much as we both hated it, it was unavoidable. All in or not, things were changing for us. I kept reminding myself that we still had all summer. We would see each other as much as possible, maybe even go camping again so we could be completely alone in the meadow for a few nights.

We arrived at practice and I went to get Edward out and realized he didn't have his backpack. "No homework?" I pouted. I had been hoping to copy our physics and calculus…and maybe English.

"Oh, um. No, I haven't done it yet."

Holding him in my arms, I eyed him. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just didn't have time."

I put Edward in his chair and followed him up the ramp. Inside, he joined his team while I went to the bleachers and started my homework. My eyes wandered up from my books several times to watch Edward as went through the warm up drills. He glanced at me several times, catching me watching him but he only smiled. When they scrimmaged, I gave up on the homework and just enjoyed watching my boy. He and Riley made a good team, and I was glad Edward had someone to fill in the post spot that he depended on so much as a point guard. Sam had remembered the practice pinnies, so there was no shirts versus skins, but I enjoyed watching him clothed almost as much. He was so much faster in the new chair and his confidence had increased. I could tell in the way he called out plays and directed his team, proving himself to be the leader he had always been. I watched as he made some great passes to Riley and Leah underneath, and groaned when he blocked Brady's shot and then made a layup of his own.

When my phone vibrated in my pocket, I pulled it out, surprised to see a text message from Jake. Tapping it, I smiled.

Hey you alive?

Yeah. At basketball practice with E. what's up?

Not much. Embry is doing pretty good. His last surgery went ok and he's home but not back at school.

Any progress?

They fixed the problem, but it won't help his paralysis.

Sorry

It's ok. I think he's accepted it. Anything new with you?

I told him about the fundraising and college. He seemed excited and congratulated me. Embry was graduating that June, but Jake still had another year. I typed with one eye watching Edward.

The ninety minutes flew by and before I knew it, Sam was calling the team over to the sidelines for their after practice talk. I packed my bag, sighing when I saw I'd only gotten about halfway through physics. It was going to be a late night. I waited for Edward at the door and he pushed across the gym with Riley by his side. I almost moaned when I saw Edward's hair damp with sweat and his tank top sticking to his firm chest.

Edward reached me first and looked up at my pouting face. "What's wrong?"

"No shirts versus skins," I murmured just as Riley neared. Edward rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Hey, Jasper," Riley greeted. "How's it going?"

Barely able to pull my eyes from Edward, I managed to look at Riley and give him a smile. "Good, thanks. How about you?"

"Same," he returned. He looked at Edward before he spoke again. "Congrats again, Edward. I'll see you tomorrow. Three, right?"

"Thanks, and yeah. You got the address, right?"

"Sure do. See ya, guys," he said to us both as he pushed away.

"Congrats?" I raised a brow.

Edward motioned toward the door. "Let's head to the truck."

He was quiet as I walked next to him, but I could see a smile teasing his lips. He wasn't anxious or upset, he was happy, but I wasn't sure why. At the truck, I got him inside and took care of his chair before getting in. When I looked over at him, he was practically bouncing with excitement.

"Spill."

"I'm the starting point guard on Saturday," he almost squealed.

"Serious?" He nodded and I slid across the seat and wrapped him in my arms. "Babe, I'm so proud of you!" Pulling back, I kissed him, deep and hard and passionate. He returned the frenzied kiss, our noses bumping as he went to deepen it, but before I could move to straddle him, he stopped me.

"Not tonight. I need to show you something," he said in a shallow breath. Ignoring him, I pushed his hand aside and straddled him anyway, my arms loosely around his neck while my hands played with his sweaty hair.

"First, tell me about starting."

"The starting point guard used to be Brady, but Sam has me starting because Brady is good at passing but he doesn't really have an outside shot and Sam said the team we're playing plays zone defense, so we're going to need to shoot outside." He shivered, but I wasn't sure if it was my finger tickling the nape of his neck or because he was excited.

"Was Brady mad?"

"He seemed okay. Sam explained his reasoning, saying it was best to have me out there because of my outside shot."

I sighed, "Mm, I love your outside shot. Now tell me about Riley?" I asked, kissing along his jaw. "How is he going to see you tomorrow?"

"You caught that, huh?" My lips were tugging on his lobe, so I just nodded. "He's coming to my place so we can practice more, go over some the plays we've barely covered in practice. He's played this team before, he might have some insight to their players and stuff. I'm used to watching game film, but there isn't any. Riley is as close as I'll get to game film."

"He's coming to your house, huh?" I murmured in his ear, "Should I be jealous, baby?" There was no doubt that the shiver that traveled through him then was because of me. Groaning, he tilted his head to the side and let me have his neck. "Do I need to mark you again? Let Riley know his basketball partner is taken?" To tease him, I sucked some skin gently between my lips.

"He already saw one hickey," he reminded me, almost purring when I bit gently. "Why is it so hot when you're like this?" he moaned.

"Like what?"

"Fucking possessive."

Tugging on his hair, I angled his head for me and kissed down his throat. "Mmm, you like me possessive?"

"Fuck yes. So fucking hot."

"You like me owning you?"

"Yeah," he breathed. His hands, which had been sitting loosely on my hips, moved up my sides under my shirt and over my heated skin. Splaying his hands, he grazed his thumbs over my nipples and then it was me that shivered.

"Jesus, the shit you do to me," I mumbled right before I kissed him, plunging my tongue into his mouth and over his own as it eagerly met mine as we succumbed to our base desires and made out.

We probably should have been talking about college or his practice or even Riley coming over, but right then all I wanted to do was connect with him physically. Wiping any memories of our problems away with our bodies, my hips moved on his lap and his fingers continued to tease my nipples until I was grunting. My cock throbbed in my pants, pressing painfully against my zipper and begging to be touched. Edward had me so fucking worked up I felt my balls already tightening. With frenzied motions, I thrust toward him, our lips parting only slightly to take a breath before we were kissing again. We lost track of time as I continued to rut my contained erection into his abdomen and he continued to tease me with his hands on my nipples and in my hair. Having taken off our shirts long ago, our bare chests were pressed together as his dragged his nails down my back, leaving marks behind. My name fell from his lips like a mantra, as if repeating it would tell him everything he needed to know. I knew the feeling. The one of never being able to say it enough, get close enough, love enough.

"Fuck, I need you to touch me, please," I begged, unashamed in my desperate need for him. When one of his hands left my back and I anticipated where it was going next, I pulled back slightly, putting my forehead to his and waiting, just fucking waiting, for his hand to stroke me.

"Am I yours?" he asked and I nodded.

"Always mine," I gasped. "No one else's." He responded with a long moan just as his fingers ran up my thigh toward my crotch. "Oh God, oh God." The backs of his fingers brushed over my erection and I lost it. Grunting, I clenched my eyes and thrust my hips toward his hand, my cock pulsing and emptying in my jeans.

"Fucking hot," he whispered before kissing me fiercely as my climax overcame me. My body convulsed on his lap while my load warmed my pants. I couldn't stop my hips from jerking forward a few more times until the last of my cum was coating my briefs.

"I just jizzed in my pants," I chuckled.

"I was going to jerk you off but you were too quick," he smiled, brushing the hair that fallen in my face back. "I love it when you lose control."

"I hadn't planned on that," I confessed. "I thought we might talk more instead."

"Speaking of, I've got something I need to show you."

"Oh oh," I sighed, lifting my head.

"It's not bad, I promise." Trusting him, I sat back a little and let him reach into his bag. When he pulled his hand out, he had his phone in hand and he was tapping the screen, but before he showed me what it was, he looked at me. "I lied earlier. I didn't do my homework today because I was online."

"Okay," I said tentatively. Had he found out some bad news?

"I was online researching."

"SCIs?"

"No." He shook his head. "OSU," he said quietly, hesitantly, knowing my reaction.

Lulling my head back, I closed my eyes and groaned. "Why?"

"Love, look what I found," he said and then tapped his phone and a video on You Tube started. It was of a track meet. "This is the Olympic trials a few years ago."

Putting my temple to his, I kept my hand around his neck, my fingers still buried in his hair at his nape, letting the silky pieces fall through before doing it again.

Curious, I watched and listened. The announcer named all the runners as they prepared in their lanes. They were bouncing up and down with energy and nerves. I knew the feeling well. Finally, they stilled and the gun went off. They all shot forward, staying in their lanes until after the first turn when they all moved to the inside. I watched the front runners, but it was one in the back that caught my attention. He was shorter than the typical middle distance runner, and had an all American look about him. Behind him, in last place, was a tall lanky runner who didn't look like he had a chance, although he never fell far behind. They finished the first lap in a pretty tight group, and as a whole they sped up.

"Look at that guy," Edward said, pointing the one I'd been watching.

Out of nowhere, he found a hole in the crowd and worked his way through it, then shot to the outside. With a little over a hundred meters left, he sped up, passing everyone like they had stopped. Right behind him was the tall lanky runner. They ran past the field and crossed the finish line first and second. The third place runner had to dive across the line but beat out the runner next to him and the crowd went wild. The top three hugged each other and held up flags and waved to the fans as the announcer said it was an 'Oregon sweep' and those three were now moving onto the Olympic team for the summer games.

"You have to go, Jasper," Edward begged softly. "An Oregon sweep. How can you not want to be a part of this? The history this college has is amazing. They produce Olympic athletes."

"I'm not Olympic quality, baby," I reminded him.

"Maybe not, but you can run and they want you. They believe in you and so do I. You can't pass this up," he implored.

Turning my head so I could see him, I looked into his blurry eyes. "I don't think I can do it without you. I've been trying to imagine it all day and…I just can't."

"Of course you can, you just need to use your mad Whitlock skills," he smiled, dragging a finger down my cheek. "I'm not letting you give this up, Jasper. You are getting the chance that was taken away from me. How can you give that up knowing how much I wanted it?"

Sighing heavily, I closed my eyes, unable to face the pain in his. He was hitting below the belt, but he was also right. "The guilt thing again?"

"I'm not letting you throw away your future for me," he whispered firmly. "You have to go."

"I have to be with you."

"You will be. Just because we at different schools doesn't mean we're not together. Just think of how horny you'll be when we finally see other? Think of the webcam sex we can have, think of the phone sex."

"I want to be able to touch you," I murmured. "I want to sit on your lap and hump you until I come in my pants."

"You will. Just not every day."

I hated he was reasonable. I hated he was right. I hated I was actually considering it.

"I fucking hate you right now," I growled and opened my eyes.

"As long as you love me tomorrow."

Lifting my head, I looked at his leafy green eyes and stained cheeks. "I love you always." I brushed my lips over his a few times before sighing and pulling back. "I'm really scared, babe. I'm scared I won't be good enough. I'm scared of being without you."

"I know, me too. But, Jas, we've got all summer, and I'll only be a phone call away. Can we try? All we need is nine months, then we'll go from there."

Nine months.

Thirty-nine weeks.

Two hundred seventy-three days.

Too many days without Edward, but I could see him on some weekends and vacations. I could call him every day and talk to him all night. My roommate would hate me, but I didn't give a fuck. If my life was going to be four hours from me, then I was going to be in constant contact with him.

"I can all anytime?" I asked with a shaky voice.

"Anytime," he promised. "You can do this, love. You'll meet new people, you'll be running for a college team, you'll have classes and studying. The time fill fly by, you'll see."

"Babe, time will drag without you."

He smiled. "I love you so much, Jas, but please… I need you to do this for me. For us. Take the chance I don't have anymore."

There were so many things I was uncertain about, but my love for Edward wasn't one of them. There wasn't much, if anything, I wouldn't do for him, and if he wanted me to go, if he thought we could do this, then I had to at least be willing to try.

Pressing my lips to his, I cupped his cheek. "I'll do it for us," I breathed into the kiss and I felt his upper body relax at his victory and he deepened the kiss. When I pulled away, I lifted his hand with the phone still in it. "Can I see this again?"

"Sure," he smiled. The video replayed and I watched it closely. After it ended, I looked at Edward.

"Babe?"

"Yeah?"

"They're from University of Oregon, not OSU," I told him, trying to hold back a smile. He looked at the video again.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. That's Andrew Wheating, he ran in the 2008 summer games. He didn't make the final heat, but he's one hell of a fast eight hundred meter runner."

His face fell and he pouted, his full bottom lip sticking out. "My bad. I just saw the Oregon and got all excited."

Shaking my head, I sucked his lush bottom lip in between mine. "I fucking love you."

He tried to mumble, but I kissed away his answer. The cum in my pants had dried before we finally parted from our lazy kisses.

"We're going to be late."

"I'll tell them practice ran late," Edward said, drawing me back in for another round, his tongue tracing the seam of my lips before pushing between them. "God, I love the way you taste."

"You trying to make me come again? Because I think my cock is stuck to my underwear."

His shoulders shook when he laughed. "We should go, huh?"

It was after nine before I finally slid off him and put my shirt back on. Starting the truck, I buckled up and waited until he was settled by my side before backing out and heading for home.

With my boy next to me, I wondered if it was physically possible to survive when your heart was four hours away from your body. Between now and the time we left for school, I was going to spend every second with Edward. "All You Need is Love" began playing and Edward started to hum along.

I hoped The Beatles were right. I hoped all we needed was love.

Because we definitely had that.

"**~~**"

I had just flopped onto my bed, my eyes closing before I could even think about opening a book to finish my homework. When I'd dropped Edward off, I held him a little longer than necessary before putting him in his chair. Before he rolled away, he looked up at me.

"I need a favor."

"I'm already going to OSU, what more can I do," I teased, rolling my eyes.

"You can film me playing the piano tomorrow. I promised Mr. Harter I'd give him some video and it'd be good for me to review it too."

"Sure, I'll be by after practice. I'm sleeping over right?" A wide, crooked smile graced his beautiful face. "I'll be by around five-thirty. I might do an extra mile if I'm up for it. Be safe, baby."

"See ya, love."

Debating on whether or not to skip the whole homework thing, I wondered if not passing it in would be that big a deal. The extra sleep was sounded much better. There was a knock on my door and my mother opened it.

"You're late tonight."

"His practice ran late. Their first game is Saturday," I replied, not even opening my eyes.

"He must be excited."

"He is, he's starting too," I mumbled into my pillow.

"That's great. Anything else going on?"

She was about as subtle as an elephant. Sighing, I rolled onto my side and pried my eyes open. "You mean have I decided?"

"At least thought about it?" she asked hopefully.

"Yeah. I have," I sighed, thinking of being away from my boy, and what I was doing because he couldn't.

You can't give up this scholarship for me. I won't let you.

I also think that you will make an amazing PT or researcher.

I want to dance with you again.

You have to go.

I need you to do this for me. For us. Take the chance I don't have anymore.

"I'm going to take it."

For Edward.

Her grin was quick and wide and really fucking relieved. "Are you sure? Have you talked to Edward about it?"

"He's the one telling me to go. Said he might be able to transfer there next year."

"I'm sure he could. Do they have music?"

"I don't know, I haven't looked. I assume so."

"If you want to sign the papers tomorrow, I'll send them back for you."

"Okay."

"I'm proud of you, Jasper. Not only for getting in and the scholarship, but for going. I know it's not where you want to be, but I think you'll see it will work out."

"I hope so," I mumbled.

"How about fundraising? Any luck?"

"With the nurses' association and the places I hit Monday, I've got a little over three thousand. I'm going to go more places this weekend."

"Good start," she smiled.

"Thanks. I've got homework I need to get done so…"

"I'll see you tomorrow. Night."

"Night."

She left and I rolled onto my back, digging out my phone from my pocket. Typing, I sent Edward a message.

Sweet dreams, my beautiful boy.

He replied a few seconds later. Only if they are of you. Love you

"Fuck it," I growled, hitting his number.

"I knew you'd call," he said as he picked up.

"What can I say, you're irresistible," I yawned. "Are you doing homework?"

"Nope. Too tired."

"Me too. Sleep with me?"

"Always." I undressed while he waited and then climbed into bed, snuggling under the covers with the phone to my ear. Our talking gradually faded into yawns and eventually sleepy breaths.

"**~~**"

"So what time are we leaving tomorrow," Bella asked as she sat down next to Edward at the lunch table the next day. He glanced at me with apologetic eyes before answering. Without me telling him, he knew I wasn't happy he'd offered for Bella to go with us. Not only did it mean she would ride up with us, probably in between us, but she'd be sitting with me on the bleachers and I'd have to entertain her and answer all her questions.

"Game is at noon, I need to be there by eleven, so probably around ten." He looked at me for confirmation and I nodded.

"Perfect. I'll be ready to go by then."

"Are you working?" Edward asked me.

"No, I took the weekend off. I do need to run though." Yawning, I put my head down on my folded arms and watched Newton come over, followed closely by Eric and Angela. The conversation quickly turned to an upcoming physics test and my eyes started to close. Just as I was about to drift off, I felt Edward's hand on my thigh, his thumb rubbing back and forth. Too tired to lift my head, I pried my eyes open and gave him a lazy smile. His caress was soothing and could have easily put me to sleep. When I tore my eyes from his, I found Newton making faces at a bad joke Angela was telling and Eric listening intently like a good boyfriend. Then my glance went to Bella. She wasn't paying attention to Newton or Eric or Angela.

Her eyes were darting between Edward and me.

Furrowing my brows, I closed my eyes again.

Edward never stopped touching me.

The rest of the day went slowly, but I was finally running around the track. I ran an extra half mile at the end, putting in over six miles before I was changing in the locker room, eager to get to Edward's.

I kept telling myself I was eager because I hadn't seen him in a few hours, but it was really curiosity. I wanted to see if Riley was really there. But first, I had to run by my house and pick up the forms I needed to sign. Pulling into my driveway, I went inside and up to my room. I tossed in some clothes for that night and the next day into my duffel bag before grabbing the papers I needed from OSU. Before I left, I picked up "Phantom Menace" because you never know when the urge to watch might strike. Jogging down the stairs, I went into the kitchen to get something to eat. After making a Fluffernutter sandwich, I turned and saw the mail sitting on the table. My heart stopped when I saw the envelope on the top.

University of Washington.

Swallowing, I picked it up, wondering if I could tell what it was just from holding it. Chewing on my lip, I tossed it into my bag. I couldn't open it. Not then. Not without Edward.

My heart was still racing when I pulled up in front of Edward's and saw a gray van parked on the curb. Pulling up behind it, I shifted into park and looked up to find Riley and Edward in the driveway. There were some small orange cones on the ground and Edward was dribbling around them while Riley watched him with a smile. The second my eyes fell on my boy, my heart immediately slowed to its normal pace. There was nothing different about him. He was dressed in some jeans and a tee shirt, his hair was messy and his eyes were focused on the ball, but just knowing he was near, he was there, was enough to reset the rhythm of my heart. No matter what was in that envelope, he and I were still the same. If it was a no, then the decision to go to OSU was made for me. If it was an acceptance, then Edward and I had some talking to do.

Leaving my stuff in the truck, I got out and headed up the driveway. Edward stopped dribbling and smiled at me.

"Hey,"

"Hey," I said to him first, but then looked at Riley. "Hey, Riley, how's it going?"

"Pretty good, thanks. Just telling Edward he's worried about nothing, but he's not listening."

"Welcome to my world," I mumbled under my breath but they both heard me. Laughing, Riley threw his head back, his hair falling perfectly back into place. The guy could have done shampoo ads or something. Bright, perfect teeth flashed between his lips as he grinned. Like Edward, he was dressed in jeans and a tee shirt that stretched tightly across his wide chest and shoulders. Having seen him shirtless, I knew exactly what kind of body was under his clothes. He was tall too, probably close to my height if not an inch taller. No wonder he'd been a post player.

"No ganging up on the guy in a wheelchair," Edward pouted. "Hey, lo-Jasper, will you rebound for us?"

He had caught himself before he said it, but my eyes went to Riley to see if he noticed. Seeming oblivious to Edward's almost slip, Riley rocked his chair back and forth and smiling.

Always fucking smiling.

Like the cat that ate the canary or some shit.

"Sure," I replied and walked between them toward the hoop. Riley turned his chair and grabbed the ball from Edward's lap with a wink.

"Let's run Texas to the left," he said, backing up. I waited under the hoop while they ran the play and Riley took the shot, missing by inches. Snatching the ball, I passed it back to him and they ran it again. I rebounded for them both, grinning when my boy made his shots and complimenting Riley when he made his. For almost an hour, they ran some plays while I watched and rebounded. Riley smiled and laughed the entire time, but he never stopped talking about basketball and the other team. By the end, Edward seemed more comfortable and was returning Riley's smiles. My eyes may have strayed to Riley's arms a few times, his biceps straining against the sleeve of his tee shirt, his forearms tan and sinewy.

Edward's movements were much more fluid than before. Time had given him the chance to grow comfortable in the chair. Riley still owned him in the dribbling and quick turning, but Edward was catching up. My cock remained semi-hard the entire time, pressing against my briefs as Edward blocked shots and made baskets. If Riley hadn't been there, I would have dragged Edward to him room a long time ago.

"C'mon on, Cullen, you can make that shot," Riley teased with a shake of his head as Edward tried to shoot around Riley's long outstretched arms. Pushing back, Edward quickly reached up and shot, making the basket. "Told ya."

He wheeled his chair forward and high-fived my boy. It was a simple team bonding move, one I'd done a hundred times, but I still narrowed my eyes in warning at Riley.

And thought maybe I should have marked Edward the night before.

Mrs. Cullen came home and Edward introduced her to Riley. He was a perfect gentleman, shaking her hand and calling her 'ma'am.' She invited him to stay for dinner, but he said he had to get home. As she walked by me, she said, "I've got one of your favorites tonight, Jasper."

"You staying for dinner?" Riley asked me.

Edward snorted, "He practically lives here."

Riley laughed and looked at me. "Can't pass up free food, huh?"

Beaming, I nodded to them both. "The Cullens will start charging me rent soon."

Riley chuckled and tossed the ball to Edward. "One last time."

It was actually three more times before Edward felt comfortable enough with the plays they had. He took the last shot, swishing the ball before tossing it on the garage.

"So what do you say, Cullen? You ready for tomorrow?" Riley asked as he pulled his chair up to Edward's.

Edward furrowed his brows as he thought. "I've got the plays down, it's dribbling I'm still worried about."

"You'll be fine. This team won't press and you pass so well they won't have a chance to get on you for a steal."

"I hope you're right," Edward sighed.

"I am," Riley answered confidently. "I should probably go. The roommate will wonder where I am. I'll see you tomorrow at the game."

"Thanks for coming over, it helped a lot," Edward said, holding his fist out. Riley bumped it, and of course, fucking smiled.

"Anytime. See ya, Jasper," he glanced at me. "Thanks for rebounding."

"Anytime," I quoted. "See you tomorrow."

"Bye, guys," Riley said as he spun the chair. Edward and I watched him get into the side of his van with the electric lift.

"Pretty fucking cool," I muttered and Edward nodded. Riley pulled away with one last wave and Edward tilted his head back and looked up at me. Sweat beaded on his forward and his damp hair was gathered in clumps. I really wanted to kiss him.

"Ready to film?"

"Let me get my stuff from the truck. I'll meet you inside."

Nodding, he went to the garage door and closed it as I headed for the truck. After grabbing my duffel bag, I went inside and found Edward in the kitchen with his mother.

"Dinner will be ready in about half and hour," she announced just as I walked in. "Spaghetti and meatballs."

"Garlic bread?" I asked hopefully.

"Of course," she replied. Edward opened the refrigerator and took out two sodas.

"Mom, we're going to get some stuff done, call us when it's ready."

"Sure."

I followed Edward to his room and watched as he went to his desk and grabbed his phone. I sat on his bed and he handed it to me.

"What's this for?"

"To film."

"You want me to record you on your phone?"

"Yeah. It's much easier to email it to him. I can upload it to You Tube and send him a link if I need to. The quality should be fine. I need it to be about eight minutes."

"Wow, he's rather specific on his time, huh?"

Edward shrugged and then suddenly pulled his shirt over his head. The phone fell from my hand to the bed as I watched him bend over and get a new shirt. The muscles in his back, tight from playing with Riley, bunched under his skin. My eyes traveled over his shoulders down his spin to the scar at the base and then out toward his slim waist and back up his sides.

"Stop drooling," he chuckled with his back to me.

"Not a chance." Glancing at me over his shoulder, he winked and shoved his arms through the sleeves of a blue button down shirt. When he turned his chair, I could see his chest. I might have moaned. Loudly. "Kind of formal for Mr. Harter, isn't it?"

"Just want to look presentable in case he shows it to someone else."

Tilting my head, I watched as he gradually covered up his body button by button. "You definitely look presentable." Lifting his head, he smiled at me and finished doing up his shirt.

"Does my hair look okay?"

Growing more suspicious, I nodded. "Perfect."

He ran his fingers through it a few times anyway and asked if I was ready. I nodded and followed him down the hall to the living room where his piano sat in the corner. It was more squished than usual with Dr. Cullen's desks and the dining room table, but he was able to pull up to the bench and transfer over to it.

"Where do you want me?"

He looked around before pointing to a spot a few feet away. "Can you start there and maybe pan around a little? Not the back, just the side and front. Zoom in on my hands a few times."

"Okay."

"Let me warm up for a minute though," he said just as his fingers touched the keys. Sitting on the arm of the couch, I watched in awe as he immediately lost himself in the music. His eyes focused on his hands as they floated over the keys, barely pressing one before moving to another. I could see his long fingers working to reach the notes, the veins in his hands bulging at the effort. I didn't know much classical music, but he was playing one I did recognize. It was one he played often.

Claire de Lune.

There was no sheet music in front of him, he played strictly from memory. His body remained still with the quiet melody, except for his tongue peeking out between his lips in concentration. I felt someone in the room with us and turned to find his mother standing in the doorway watching Edward. There was a look of pride on her face. I saw the way he became one with the music, how he brought it to life was feeling was amazing and powerful.

Edward loved basketball, but music…music was his life.

Without telling him, I lifted his phone and started to film. His eyes crested with the emotions of the highs and lows of the song. Standing, I slowly moved around toward the front and watched his body sway slightly from side to side as the notes grew in strength. His mother was still watching as Edward reached the end of the song, hitting the last few notes softly and letting them fade away. With a sigh, he looked up at me and I hit pause.

"That was beautiful," his mother smiled. "It's so nice to hear you playing again."

Edward turned toward her. "You're going to hear it more because I think I've got a job teaching piano this summer to some kids."

"Really?"

"Mr. Harter can't do it and he asked me to take his place and I said yes," Edward told her and her smile only got bigger.

"That's wonderful." The oven beeped from the kitchen and she turned and went back to dinner.

"Ready for more?" he asked me as he dramatically stuck his hands out and wiggled his fingers over the keys.

"Always." I winked and held the phone up and hit record. I had assumed his next song would be another classical one, but it wasn't. The first few notes hit me and I gasped.

What it was and what he did took my breath away.

Even though it was our song, Edward rarely played it on the piano, and even rarer was to hear him sing it while he played. When we sang in the car for fun, Edward's voice was in tune and simple, but with the strong notes of the piano around him, his voice took on a deep husky quality that easily competed with Paul's. My heart raced as I tried to keep the phone still in my shaking hand as Edward played and sang our song. No longer still, his upper body swayed side to side, his eyes rarely leaving the motion of his hands.

I loved watching Edward play basketball, getting sweaty, making shots, commanding his team, but nothing he ever did on the court could rival how incredible and beautiful and fucking hot he was playing the piano and singing our song.

To me.

Pulling myself out of shock, I remembered to walk around, holding the phone as steady as I could as I moved to his side and zoomed in on his hands for a few seconds before pulling back out and getting his entire body. Moving toward the side of the piano again, I kept recording. Lifting his eyes from his hands on the keys, he looked at me, into me, as he sang the last verse.

Maybe I'm amazed at the way you're with me all the time
Maybe I'm afraid of the way I leave you
Maybe I'm amazed at the way you help me sing my song
Right me when I'm wrong
Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you

I was amazed. At every fucking single thing he did, I was amazed. There was no maybe about it. It was scary, it was comforting, it was wrong and so very right, and I never wanted to feel anything else. That last verse had never meant more to us than it did then, when we were faced with parting in a few months.

Nodding his head to the beat, he finished the song, letting the final notes drift away. I hit pause and glanced at the doorway to make sure we were alone. Walking to the bench, I sat down next to him and kissed his cheek.

"That was beautiful, baby," I whispered for his ears only.

"Yeah?" He leaned into me. Not obvious to anyone that might walk in, but I felt his weight pressing warmly against my arm.

"The way you sang it was…I didn't realize you could sing that well."

He shrugged. "Some songs. That happens to be one of them. Did you film it?"

"Yeah. I got some of Claire de Lune and all of that, but," I whispered in his ear, "babe, if anyone sees it, they're going to know."

"Know what?"

"That you were singing it for whoever was filming. The way you looked at me…"

"Is that a bad thing?" he asked, chewing on his lower lip.

"Not to me."

"Then me either," he said with a short nod. "I think we should get one more. I'll do some Chopin. Maybe some Nocturne Op. Nine Number Two?"

"Sure," I agreed. It sounded like a foreign language to me. Standing, I took my position and began to film him playing. Music filled the air and I just melted.

My talented boy owned me.

After that song, he seamlessly continued into the music he had composed for me and I just kept filming, trying to alternate between his hands and wider shots. When he was done, he exhaled a breath and then looked up at me and gave me the widest smile I'd seen on him in a long time.

It was free.

It was full of life and the joy of rediscovery, like a part of him had woken after being dormant. The emotion from his music remained in his eyes, skittering along the edges of his love for me, which shone almost as brightly.

Yeah, there was no doubt about how he felt about the person that was holding the camera. He was just as owned.

I hit pause and lowered the phone. "How was that?" he asked quietly.

"Fucking perfect," I sighed. "You're amazing." Blushing, he closed the cover and scooted along the bench to transfer to his chair. "What now?"

"Now I need to go upload it," he said as he spun his chair and headed for his room. I followed closely, inhaling the scent of dinner from the kitchen as we passed. In his room, Edward took the phone and connected it to his computer to transfer the file. I lay across his bed behind him. "Want to watch?"

I nodded eagerly. He hit play and we sat and watched him play and sing, laughing at the occasional shaky camera work. When it finished, he turned his chair a little.

"You're right, they will know."

"Do you want to redo it?" I asked, sitting up.

He shook his head, a small smile gracing his lips as he leaned forward and put those delicious lips at my ear. "No," he breathed warmly over my ear. A shiver went through my entire body, even my toes tingled.

"You sure?" I choked out, not sure if he realized what he was saying. If someone saw that video, if they knew I filmed it, he would be outing himself.

"Yeah, I'm sure, love." He turned back to the computer. "But I need to edit out Clair de Lune." I rolled onto my side and propped myself up with my elbow as Edward ran the program and edited the video. A few minutes later, he was done. "It's a lot longer than I thought, should I cut out more?"

"No," I snapped. "Don't you dare. The more he hears, the better."

Agreeing, he saved the file and then opened up You Tube and uploaded it. Then he emailed the link to Mr. Harter and closed everything out.

"Babe?"

"Yeah?" He turned his chair to face me.

"What's going on?"

Edward knew me. He knew when my phone calls masked as help for homework were really to check on him, and while I knew he knew, he never called me on it. He let me get away with it, even went along with it. Well, I knew him just as well, and there was something else going on besides music lessons.

Sucking his bottom lip between his teeth, he glanced at his half open door then back to me. "When I talked to Mr. Harter the other day, he asked what I was going to college for and I told him to be a music teacher. He mentioned that the music department has a scholarship for students majoring in music. It's not very much, only about four thousand, but it's better than nothing. I checked into it and they need a video of the applicant playing their instrument or singing."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

He shrugged. "I didn't want you to get your hopes up that I would automatically get it. There are some good musicians at our school."

"Good, sure. But you're the only one that is amazing, incredible, and talented beyond words."

"We'll see what the committee thinks. It's up to them. I've got a paper I need to fill out for it too, maybe we can do that after dinner?"

My eyes immediately dropped from his to a spot on his blanket. With my free hand, I picked at imaginary lint while avoiding his eyes.

"Jasper?"

The whole knowing each other too well fucking sucked sometimes.

Sighing, I looked up at him. "I have a paper to sign too."

"Boys, dinner," his mother called from the kitchen.

"We'll talk after dinner," Edward promised as he backed his chair away from the desk.

Nodding, I climbed off the bed and followed him to the dining room table. I helped his mother carry in a large bowl of pasta and then took my seat across from Edward. Under the table, my foot rested against his. Alice bounded down the stairs and sat down, giving me a smile.

"Jasper, what a surprise," she smirked. I was about to reply when Dr. Cullen walked through the door.

"Just in time," Mrs. Cullen said, serving him as he sat down and greeted us all.

Dinner was full of conversation, mostly Alice catching us all up on the last bit of gossip at school that none of us really needed to know. I twirled my fork and ate my spaghetti and garlic bread, moaning when I bit into and making Mrs. Cullen blush when I told her she made the best garlic bread I'd ever had.

"How is the race going, Jasper?" Dr. Cullen asked as he sipped his wine.

"Pretty good," I mumbled around a meatball. "Training is going okay. I've got three weeks left and I'm up to six miles and I have a little over three thousand for donations."

He almost spit his wine out. "Excuse me?"

"Three thousand so far," I repeated hesitantly.

"I'm impressed, Jasper. That's great."

"I hoped to have more by now, but I've been busy and haven't had much time to go to many places yet."

"Do you have anything for people to fill out? I can bring it to the hospital if you want, hit up some my colleagues."

"Yeah? That'd be awesome. I've got a flyer and stuff but it's at home. I can bring it over this weekend though."

"Sure, no rush."

When we were finished, I helped clear the table and then followed Edward. But instead of going into his room, he went into the dining room. I closed the door behind me and wiggled my eyebrows at him.

"We gonna work out?" I asked hopefully. Anything to see Edward shirtless and sweaty. "You gonna get sweaty for me?"

He shook his head. "Not exactly. I was going to show you those exercises that Emmett showed me on Monday."

"Oh," I said, slightly disappointed. Chuckling, he began to describe the exercises to me and then had me do them. Some were ones I already knew but Emmett had put a different twist on them.

"Don't you dare," I warned when Edward went to the CD player. Holding my stare, he defiantly hit play and "Everybody's Working for the Weekend" began. I desperately tried not to laugh but Edward started bopping his head to the beat and I couldn't help it. The same boy that had played the most emotional and incredible classical music only an hour earlier was now dancing to Loverboy.

Then he played the air drums and began singing.

I was a goner.

My sides ached from laughing and my stomach twisted with the enormous amount of spaghetti in it. He didn't care, dressed in his button down shirt he kept waving his hands, shaking his head back and forth. The weights I'd been using ended up on the floor as I fell forward on to a bench, my arm going around my middle to ease the cramps I was getting. When a Michael Jackson came on, Edward began singing in a hitch pitched voice and pushing his chair backwards.

"Hey, Jas, look I'm moon walking," he giggled.

It was moments like this I loved him the most.

I loved when we were physical, I loved that he knew me so well, sometimes, I loved that he would give me anything, but it was the simple things, like holding his hand and doing homework and singing stupid songs, I loved the most.

I remembered the first time I had realized I was in love with him. About a month after we started dating, I knew I cared deeply for him but I hadn't named it love until one day when he was driving us in his car. I don't remember where we were going, but the music was playing, the windows were down, and my arm was sticking out, waving up and down as it rode the wind. Edward was laughing at something I said and had reached over to put his hand on my lap. I covered his hand with mine own, smiling when his turned up and he laced our fingers. It was a simple gesture, but it screamed of intimacy.

Suddenly, he slammed on the breaks, brining the car to a screeching halt. I lurched forward a little and looked at Edward to find him slightly breathless. Shifting into park, he opened his door and got out.

"Edward, what the…" I trailed off. He couldn't hear me anyway as he walked to the front of the Volvo and crouched down. Curious, I undid my seatbelt and leaned forward but could barely see the top of his head. Just as I went to open my door, he stood up with a grin on his face.

In his hands was a turtle.

Edward had slammed on his breaks and left a few feet of rubber treads to avoid hitting a turtle.

Proud of himself, he carried the turtle to my window. "Can you move the car to the side of the road?"

Sliding into his seat, I shifted into drive and pulled the car over, then got out. "We need to find a place to set Tommy free."

"Tommy?"

"Tommy the turtle," he clarified as if I was the crazy one for not knowing the turtle's name. Glancing around us, he motioned to a ditch across the street. "I think there's a stream over there." After checking for traffic, he headed in that direction and I followed him as he marched down the hill. Sure enough, there was a small stream at the bottom of it, complete with bubbling water and rocks.

"Do you want to say goodbye?" he asked me, holding the turtle up to me. It didn't seem to be very afraid. It's head and legs were out, his little feet searching in vain for some solid ground. Reaching out, I patted its head with my finger.

"Bye, Tommy."

Smiling, Edward held the turtle up to his face. "No more crossing the street. Not everyone stops." Then he gently placed Tommy in the water and watched as Tommy very slowly made his way toward a rock.

It was then that I knew that I loved Edward.

It was probably a stupid moment to realize such a life altering emotion, but it was then that I really saw his generous heart, his protective nature, and his love of life. All things that helped make him the boy that my heart yearned for. Still standing by the brook, he stood and turned toward me all satisfied and shit with that crooked smile that took my breath away. I didn't know how he did it, but he immediately saw the change in me and his head tilted as he eyed me.

"Jas?" he prompted when I hadn't moved. "You okay?"

I held his gaze for a few long seconds, debating on telling him what I'd discovered. But our relationship was so new, and while the realization wasn't exactly a surprise to me, it might be to him. He might not be ready to hear that another boy was in love with him. There was a difference between sucking a boy's cock and having him say he loves you. One was sex, the other was commitment.

Exhaling a long breath, I nodded and answered with a racing heart. "Yeah. Never better."

It was the fucking truth.

Then there were all the times when he just fucking let loose and his hidden child came out to play. Edward was smart and talented but he was just a kid. We both were. And sometimes it was easy to forget that with all the shit we had going on. It was nice when Edward acted like the teenager he was, and of course, I never hesitated to join him.

That was exactly what I did when the next song began.

In his chair, Edward swayed his shoulders back and forth seductively and began to sing while he played his air drums. The leg exercises forgotten, I danced around him, bouncing up and down and spinning in dizzying circles. Stopping in front of him, I put my hands on his shoulders and circled my hips. Reaching out, he loosely rested his hands on my hips and followed their movement. Tilting his chin up, he looked at me through his lashes and sang to me.

Don't drink don't smoke - what do you do?
Don't drink don't smoke - what do you do?
Subtle innuendos follow
There must be something inside

It wasn't the same way he had sung to me earlier. It wasn't full of love or emotions, it was strictly fun and sexy. It was doing stupid shit like that I was going to miss while we were apart.

"I'll show you what I do later, baby," I murmured to him, thrusting my hips toward him. Leaning forward, he buried his nose in my crotch and I bit my lip to stop the loud moan building in my throat. Pulling back, he gave me a devious wink just as the song ended.

"So you got all those exercises down?"

At first, I was confused, but then I remembered why we were there and I nodded. "Yeah, I'm good."

Back in his room, I closed the door behind me and flopped across his bed, my eyes on Edward as he began to unbutton his shirt.

"Should I take mine off too?"

"I need to change and use the bathroom," he said as he slipped the shirt off his shoulders and down his arms.

"Fuck, baby," I groaned hungrily. Shaking his head, he grabbed a tee shirt and put it on before picking up a kit and leaving for the bathroom. While he was in there, I changed into my Darth Vader pants and Halo tee shirt, keeping my eyes on the area where his supplies were the entire time. "You fucking stay away from him," I growled to the empty corner. "I'll kick your ass if you touch him again."

"You okay?" Edward asked behind me and I jumped, blushing.

"Yeah, just talking to myself," I hoped. He closed the door and pushed over to me, gently bumping his chair into my legs and looking up at me with his woodsy eyes.

"Hey."

And with one word, the mood shifted from the fun of earlier, returning to the heavy seriousness that weighed on us both.

"Hey."

Without asking, I sat on his lap, hanging my legs over the arm of the chair and wrapping one arm around his neck. Leaning forward, I met his lips halfway in a soft lingering kiss. Neither tongue entered the other's mouth, but it was as passionate as any kiss we'd ever had. His free hand searched blindly for mine, finding it and entwining our fingers. When we pulled apart, I left my fingers buried in the hair at the nape of his neck and laid my head on his shoulder, smiling when I heard his heart racing, matching my own.

"You going to tell me what was bothering you before dinner?"

Fuck. He hadn't forgotten.

Kissing my temple, he left his lips there and mumbled, "You can tell me, love."

"I have the papers I need to sign to accept the scholarship in my duffel bag. I couldn't… sign them alone."

"You wanted to give me a chance to change my mind," he assumed correctly.

"You might when I tell you something."

"What?"

Lifting my head, I kissed him. "You know I love you, right? That I would do anything for you?"

"What's going on?"

"When I went home after practice to get my stuff, I saw the mail on the table. There was a letter from UW."

"What did it say?" he swallowed, but his eyes remained steady on mine.

"I didn't open it. I wanted to be with you when I opened it."

He exhaled a long breath. "Then let's open it."

Nodding, I climbed off him and opened my duffle bag, pulling out both letters. I returned to Edward's lap, resuming my position from before. Turning the UW envelope over, I put my thumb under the flap but hesitated and looked at Edward. His green eyes swam with love and certainty.

"You can do it." Chewing on my bottom lip, I slid my thumb across and opened it, slowly pulling out the folded letter. "Go on," he encouraged when I stopped.

Opening the letter, I read it aloud for him.

Dear Jasper,

We are pleased to inform you that after great review of your academic career, we would like to offer you admittance to the University of Washington for the fall of 2011. We are excited you have decided to further your education and know that you will find our university the best choice for you. Enclosed please find the necessary forms to be signed and returned to us to hold your place for the upcoming semester…

His arms wrapped around me so tightly I felt crushed. "You did it, love," he whispered in my ear. "You got in."

"I got in," I repeated disbelievingly. "Oh my God, I got in."

Suddenly, my future with Edward was back in place and all seemed right with the world. Edward kissed me, smashing his lips to mine. Unlike before, it wasn't a tender kiss, it was a bruising and powerful release of emotions. Clutching his hair with my hand, the letter fell to my lap and I concentrated on the congratulatory kiss. Gasping, he tore his lips away.

"Does it say anything about financial aid or a scholarship?" Picking the letter back, up, I skimmed it. Then I flipped to the other two pages included in it. When I looked back at Edward, his question had been answered. "Fuck," he sighed sadly.

"It's okay. It's only twenty-four thousand. I'm sure I'll get some grants and I can get loans and stuff."

"No."

It was only one word, but it was firm and definite and left no doubt.

Frowning, I glared at him, but he shook his head. "Not this again. Edward, I got in. We can live together."

"You will have to pay and you won't be running," he reminded me.

"Schematics," I countered. "I'm sure they have a running club I could do. As for paying, loans aren't a big deal, I'll be able to-"

He clamped his hand over my mouth. "Jasper, I can't do it. I won't let you give up OSU. If you had gotten a scholarship to UW and could run for them, sure, but not like this. You have to go to OSU."

Unable to speak, I looked into his eyes and watched them get blurry as a tear slid from my own. Removing his hand, he replaced it with his mouth as he brushed his lips over mine.

"I love you so fucking much, Jasper. You've got no idea how much. You need to do this for you, for me and for us. Please. I'm not very strong and the more times you offer to go to UW the more likely I am to agree, and I don't want to. I want to go on You Tube and watch my boy running for a college and brag to everyone that you're mine."

"I'm yours," I mumbled.

"Even if you're at a different college, you're still mine. It's awesome you got into UW, but, love, UW isn't your dream, running is."

"You still don't want me to go to UW," I sighed. I had thought if I had gotten in, if he had just seen it in writing, the images of our future together at college would have changed his mind, but I'd been wrong. He was still telling me to take the scholarship. To live four hours from him. If only he hadn't found that fucking letter, I could have gone to UW and he never would have known about OSU.

"Where are the papers?"

He didn't have to specify which ones, I knew what he meant. Putting the UW letter on his bed, I revealed the OSU envelope under it. I pulled the letter out, along with the form behind it. It was a simple form, basically saying I accept and agree to the terms of their offer for admission and the full scholarship. At the bottom was a line for me to sign and date. Edward read it and smiled.

"I'm so fucking proud of you." Letting me go, he moved his hands to the wheels and backed his chair up. Pushing us both over to this desk, he reached around me and snagged a pen and a book, handing both to me. Taking them, I put the letter on the book and held the pen over the line.

But before I signed, I looked at him.

He was so beautiful, so fucking perfect. I couldn't imagine not waking up to his face every day like we'd planned for the past two years. I didn't want to wake up with some strange roommate, I wanted Edward. Staring into his eyes, I searched for any doubt to what he was suggesting we do. There was none. This was what he wanted.

"I'm sure," he whispered, taking my free hand into his. "This is the right thing."

I hoped he was right.

I looked down at the paper and with a shaky hand, I signed away the next four years of my life to OSU. Once they received it, I would be officially enrolled.

As I finished writing the date, Edward's lips met mine in a tender kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too," I sighed. I put the pen and book back on the desk and then folded up the letter and put it back into the envelope. Edward wheeled us back my duffle bag and I put it inside. Then he reached for the UW letter, reading it over once more before folding up our dream of living together and putting it in the envelope and handing it to me for me to put away.

"Let's get into bed and we can do my scholarship application," he suggested.

"Ya know you say all those words but I didn't hear anything after 'bed'."

He rolled his beautiful eyes and shoved me off him. Edward gracefully transferred to his bed and lay back. I watched as he undid his jeans and began to work them over his hips and ass and down his thighs. He'd become skilled at it and was quickly tugging them off his feet. Before he could put on his pajamas, I took them from him and kneeled between his legs. Easing his feet through the pant legs, I pulled them up to his knees and paused. Looking up at him, I leaned forward and kissed the inside of his left thigh. When I saw his upper body tremble, I knew he'd felt my lips.

"No more spasms?"

He shook his head. "Not since Monday."

"Have you seen Emmett?"

"Not since Monday," he echoed.

"So you haven't had a massage all week?"

"No." Standing, I leaned over his legs and gripped his thigh, kneading the muscle from hip to knee before doing the same to his other leg. Up on his elbows he watched me. "How do you know how to do that? You've researched it, haven't you?"

"I wanted to know how to take care of you when we lived together."

Kneeling, I moved to his calves and repeated my actions on each one, moving the pajamas out of the way. Both legs done, I pulled his pants up his thighs and then stood and lifted him to get them up over his ass. Once he was dressed, he rolled over onto his stomach. Joining him, I lay down next to him and mimicked his position. Draping his arm over the edge of the bed, he reached for his bag and then pulled out a folded piece of paper, a book and a pen.

For the next half hour, we lay on his bed reviewing the scholarship application. Most of it was pretty forward, but there were some questions we had to think about. Edward answered honestly and when he was finished, I had no idea how anyone could not give him the scholarship. His answer to the question of what music meant to him was enough reason to pay his entire way through college. With my shoulder pressed to his, my foot rubbing his still one, I watched him fill in the questions and offered suggestions when he seemed stuck. When he was done, he folded the papers up and put them back in his bag.

"I'll give those in to Mr. Harter on Monday," he said, turning onto his side facing me. Before he could resist, I pushed him onto his back and climbed on top of him. He smiled as I took his hands in mine and pulled them above his head so we were completely pressed together.

"Hey."

The same word from earlier but with the lust growing in his eyes and the raspy quality to his voice, it took on a whole new meaning.

"Hey," I purred, dipping my head to run my nose along his cheek.

"Mmm," he moaned and angled his head to give me more room. I inhaled his scent, kissed his eyelids, nibbled his earlobe, and sucked gently on his neck. "Jas?" he warned when he felt me getting too ambitious with the sensitive skin.

"What?"

"What are you doing?" His fingers tightened in mine and his thumb ran over the back of my hand.

"Having desert."

Even without looking I knew he was smiling. "Taste good?"

"Delicious. Sweet, salty, mmm mmm good."

"Dork."

"Your dork."

"Love?"

Sighing, I lifted my head and looked at him. "Babe, you're making the whole seduction thing I've got going on here difficult with all the talking."

"Sorry, I was just going to ask if you minded Riley here today."

"No," I answered immediately, "but I do wonder why he's always smiling." Edward's chuckle vibrated through his chest and into mine. "I mean no one is that happy all the fucking time…and…"

"And?"

"What's with his Justin Bieber hair?" His chuckling turned to laughter and he shook us both.

"Jealous? Wish you had hair like that?"

"Maybe. Think I should cut mine like that?" I teased, knowing what his answer would be.

"NO! You're not touching a hair on your head. It's so silky and amazing."

"You know what else of mine is silky and amazing?" I nudged his jaw with my nose so I could resume my work on his neck. I kept writhing on him, rubbing our clothed cocks along each other. Mine was throbbing and Edward's stirred.

"What?"

"My cock," I replied, grinding it into him for effect even if he couldn't feel it.

"I hate having a boyfriend with such low self-esteem," he moaned as I neared the skin under his ear. "Oh Jesus."

Putting my lips at his ear, I whispered, "I want you to suck me."

"Then put your dick in my mouth," he murmured. If I hadn't already been hard, I would have been with those words.

"Jesus, Edward," I groaned and released his arms. Rolling off him, I pulled my shirt over my head and dropped it on the bed. Pressing my shoulders into the mattress, I raised my hips and slid my pants and briefs down my legs, kicking them off my feet. Naked, I turned back to Edward, pleased when he grabbed me and pulled me back on him. Using his strength, he moved me up his body until his mouth latched onto a nipple. "Oh, fuck."

I arched into his touch, my head dropping and hair falling in front of my eyes, blocking my view of him. After that nipple was a wet, pebbled nub, he moved to the other one, lavishing it with the same attention. I tried to stay still for him, but my hips rocked into him anyway. His hands spanned my ribcage as he easily held me above him.

"I want to try something different," he said as he released me.

"Anything," I squeaked. With an open palm, he spanked the flesh of my ass and I jumped.

"Turn around," he directed. Edward's head was the edge of the bed and when I turned and straddled his head with my knees on either side of him, my cock lined up perfectly with his mouth. Falling forward, I braced my hands by his hips on the mattress. If lowered myself, Edward's cock would be within reach of my mouth. Taking a deep breath, he inhaled my musky scent. "I love how you smell when you're turned on."

"Suck me, baby, please," I begged.

Ignoring my request, he ran his hands up my legs, then I felt them between my thighs forcing me to slid my knees out further. "Sit on me."

"Oh Jesus, oh fuck," I breathed as I lowered my ass to his face. Strong fingers parted my cheeks and exposed my hole to him. I almost screamed when I felt the wet of his tongue along the inside of my thigh and tracing the puckered skin around my entrance. "Yeah, fuck, yeah. "

Warm, moist breaths coated my flesh, fingers pried at my hole, spreading me until he was able to insert the tip of his tongue. I became lightheaded as pleasure surged through me, igniting every nerve in my body. My cock, swollen with need, ached and twitched every time his tongue explored more. Just when I thought I might collapse on him and grind my ass into his face, I felt his tongue dancing along the skin behind my balls, leaving a slick trail as it made its way to my sac. Heavy with cum, my balls hung low, waiting to be lavished. His tongue began to trace the soft, wrinkled skin and I just about came undone. He slurped one ball into his mouth, sucking so hard I thought I might burst and explode all over his chest. Throaty, gravelly streams of obscenities and begging fell from my lips as he released one ball and moved to the other, paying it the same attention and sucking it between his lips. His fingers never stopped playing with my hole, one was constantly pressing against the entrance waiting for the moment to slip inside.

I began to beg for that too.

A string of precum dripped from my slit to his chest, tethering us together in the most fragile of ways as he licked and nibbled his way over my balls.

"Babe, much more and I'm gonna come. I can't…" I couldn't even finish the sentence. He scooted down the bed a few inches until his mouth was level with my cock. The talented tongue that had already sent me to the edge ran along the bottom of my length, outlining the veins there with the tip before following with the rough flat of it. Reaching up, he took my cock by the base and directed it into his mouth and I fell apart.

Suddenly there was something in his mouth besides my cock. Realizing it was his finger, and what he planned to do with it, I groaned loudly. He scolded me, but it was muffled by my erection in his mouth. I was only dimly aware that I was naked and straddling Edward's face with my cock in his mouth. Getting caught was the last thing on my mind even though I hadn't moved the table in front of his door like we usually did.

"Sorry, can't help it," I hissed through clenched teeth. His finger left his mouth and returned my hole, immediately easing inside. "Oh fuck, babe, babe…fuck…."

I babbled, I gasped, I swayed back and forth and began to fuck his sweet mouth with shallow pumps. Timing the thrusts of his finger with those of my hips, he used other hand and spread my cheeks. He inserted his finger until it met the resistance of the tight ring of muscle. I wanted to relax, to let him in further but my body was humming with the need to come, every muscle tense and waiting. Overwhelmed by the sucking of his mouth on my cock and his finger in my ass, I panted for breath and screwed my eyes shut. There was no rhythm to my movements, my hips were erratic, my breaths labored, and all I could think of was more, I wanted more. Pleading to both come and not at the same time, sweat beaded on my forehead and I licked my lips before biting down hard on my bottom one when his finger plunged deeper. The tip barely brushed over my prostate, but it was enough to hurl me into euphoria.

"C'ming," I barely warned him with a gasp as my body jerked forward, sinking my cock deeper into his hot, tight throat. His middle finger remained in me, tickling my gland with teasing touches as my cock swelled and released cum into his mouth. Edward swallowed around me, drinking every burst shot from me and then milking me after. My strangled cries were stifled when I fell forward and buried my face in his cock. Rocketing through me, my orgasm was extended by Edward's finger inside me, stroking me deeply enough to keep my body on that heightened plateau for a long minute. The shudders that wrecked my body gradually faded to trembling and Edward slowly slid his finger from me. His mouth remained firmly on my cock, still lapping and flicking his tongue over every inch and I wondered if he was trying to get me hard again.

Because in about a minute, I would be.

"Babe," I heaved for breath into his flannel pants. I couldn't help but run my nose along his cock. "Wanna suck you so bad…please."

My cock was released and it fell half hard from his mouth. "I..."

I looked between our bodies, seeing the head of my cock resting against his chin. His eyes were closed. "I know you're scared. How about a lick, just one, I promise." While he debated, I nuzzled him and inhaled the scent of him through his clothing.

"Just one."

Before he'd even finished giving me permission, I had his pants and briefs down over his cock. It was soft and heavy. Darting my tongue out, I flicked it over his head, tasting his flavor for the first time since before the accident. It was delicious as the rest of him. Swirling around the head once, I dipped my tongue into the slit. His hands were on my hips trying to pull me back and I reluctantly let him, tugging his pants back up.

"That cock is mine at the meadow," I reminded him as I lifted one knee and spun around so I was lying next to him.

"You're awfully eager."

"Duh." Turning his chin toward me, I kissed him, meshing my lips to his, seeking out his tongue to tangle with mine. The faint taste of my cum coated his mouth and I moaned when his fingers grazed down my bare back and settled in the dip just above the curve of my ass. Breaking the kiss, I sighed and reached for my clothes. Edward watched me through half lidded eyes as I pulled on my shirt and pants. "I'm going to set my alarm for seven. I need to run tomorrow morning before we go and then I need to shower."

"Can I go with you?"

"You want to run with me?"

He raised a brow.

"You know what I mean," I sighed. He looked away and I forced his eyes back to mine. "Babe?"

He sighed heavily, as if I was dragging the biggest secret out of him. "I'm nervous about tomorrow. I thought going with you might burn off some energy."

"You can certainly come, but why are you still nervous? I thought after Riley…"

"I feel better about the plays, but not my dribbling and shots and not my…not my legs," he finished barely aloud.

"What about your legs?" I glanced down at them.

"I don't want to wear the shorts. I don't want people to see my legs. They're useless anyway."

"Aw, babe, they're not useless. You use them to move from your chair to stuff, you can balance on them pretty good. Their still muscular and firm."

"They are?" he asked, completely surprised.

"Edward, don't you touch yourself at all?"

"No. Other than going to the bathroom, I try to avoid it. I don't want to see me touching myself and not feel me touching myself."

Leaning forward, I kissed him. "Trust me, you're legs are beautiful. Don't be ashamed to show them off tomorrow." Biting his lip, he eyed me to see if I was bullshiting him, but he finally nodded. "Speaking of tomorrow, you know Bella is probably going to ride between us, which means no hand in my lap."

"Yeah, I didn't think of that when I offered the ride to her. She might get suspicious if she saw my hand on your thigh, huh?"

"Yeah, probably a bit," I smiled. "Not that I mind."

"Maybe I'll be distracted with the game enough that it won't be so bad."

"If it gets too bad, tell me. I'll stop and move you next to me. I don't care what she thinks. Okay?"

"Okay," he finally agreed. "We should sleep, huh?"

"Yeah, it's late." After one last kiss, I got off the bed and ran to the bathroom. When I returned, Edward was laying on the pillows, the blanket pulled back in invitation for me. I crawled on and took my position by his side. I glanced over to the corner, a satisfied smirk on my face as I saw nothing but medical supplies. For another night, I was with my boy, protecting him from his personal demon. He kissed my forehead.

"Jas?"

"Mm?"

"I'm proud of you for getting into UW but I'm more proud of you for signing those papers," he yawned. Holding him tighter with my arm over his middle, I kissed his chest, right over his heart. I was nervous about being away from him, but it was nothing compared to the unwavering love that came from him.

"I don't like going without you."

"I know you don't. Love you."

"Love you too, baby."

They were the last words spoken before sleep took us both, catapulting us into our separate slumbers.

Gasping for breath, I laced my fingers on the back of my head and sucked in deep breaths of air. My lungs stung and my legs burned, but I was on such a high I didn't care.

"Great race," the guy next to me said as he walked by mirroring my position. The sun beat down on the track, creating little visible waves of heat to rise from it as the race official came over to gave me my time and record my name and number.

"Congratulations," he smiled as he walked off. Once I was released from the race, I jogged across the track, ignoring the protest from my body, and went through the gate.

He was there of course, looking fucking sexy as hell in his black OSU tee shirt and jeans. What really turned me on was how sexy he looked in the dark sunglasses that covered his amazing eyes. Tilting his head back, he gave me a dazzling, knee-weakening smile.

"Hey, love," he said. There was no whispering or murmuring, no glancing around to make sure were alone. He didn't care if we weren't. We were in public and he was calling me 'love'. "Congratulations."

"Thanks," I smiled at him, bringing up the bottom of my tank top to wipe my face. "That guy almost caught me though."

"But he didn't," Edward replied. "You have just one more, right?"

"Yeah, the fifteen hundred. Why?"

"Because you look fucking sexy and I want to take you home and ravish you," he purred and I melted.

"Don't you have a test tomorrow?"

"I do, but my music history was cancelled today so I went to the library and studied. Tonight, we celebrate your first college track meet. Pizza, Dew, ESPN, and sex. Not necessarily in that order."

"Mmm, sounds perfect. Are you going to stay for my next race?"

"I wouldn't be anywhere else," he said honestly. "Wherever you are…"

"Is where I'll be," I finished our phrase. It had started a year earlier when we were dealing with the thought of being at two separate schools. "I've got to see my coach real quick before I warm up. I'll meet you here after the race."

"Deal," he nodded. Not bothering to look around us, I curved a hand around his neck and angled his head back as I leaned down and swept my lips over his in an innocent kiss, a promise of the fun naked times later when we were alone in our apartment. Straightening, I licked my lips. "Good luck, love. Kick their asses."

"I'll try. See you in about twenty minutes, baby." Winking, I turned and head toward the infield and my teammates. I cheered on a few racers and then warmed up for my own race. Things were more organized than the high school meets I was used to and they moved along smoothly. Time came for the fifteen hundred and I ran it, hearing Edward's cheers all the around the track. I came in a close third behind two upperclassmen from UW and Arizona State. I wasn't pleased with the race, but my coach was thrilled that a freshman held his own with the 'big boys'.

As soon as I walked off the track, my baby was there waiting for me. We headed toward the gym together where I changed while Edward waited. A few of my teammates came over and congratulated me and said hi to Edward. They all knew he was my boyfriend and not one of them cared. Once I was in my sweatpants and a tee shirt, we headed across campus toward our little apartment a block away. We laughed and joked along the way. Edward teased me about my last race and I made him carry my duffle bag.

"Pack mule," I chuckled.

"Dork."

"Your dork."

"Always," he grinned as we reached the ramp going into our apartment. It was small, it was simple, but there was a bed, kitchen, and bathroom, and most importantly it was handicap accessible for Edward. We spent the night eating pizza, drinking soda, watching ESPN, and then finally going to bed where we made love for hours.

It was a perfect life for two boys. It was all I'd ever dreamed of.

My eyes snapped open and it took a few seconds for them to adjust to the darkness. Excited, I quickly scanned the room, but then I made out Edward's desk and dresser and I sighed. I was in his room in Forks, not our apartment at college.

"You okay?" he mumbled, his voice thick and full of sleep. Lifting my head, I saw his eyes open, their sparkling green visible even in the low light.

"Yeah. Sorry, didn't mean to wake you." I kissed his chin and laid my head back on his chest, running my fingers down his forearm.

It was his turn to sigh. "You didn't. I've been awake for awhile. That must have been some dream. You were twitching and moaning like mad."

"Really?" He nodded. "It was pretty cool…we were at OSU together. At a track meet, then we went home to our apartment."

Under my ear his heart skipped a beat before pounding viciously. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. It was really nice. We were really happy. Why were you awake?" I asked, lifting my head and resting my chin on his chest.

He hesitated and glanced away, his eyes darting to the corner before meeting mine again. When my hand reached his, he grabbed it and threaded our fingers together. "I couldn't sleep."

"Why?"

"Because I'm nervous about tomorrow."

"How come?"

"Because I don't want to fuck up, Jas. Because everyone's going to be watching the new guy. Because I'm used to being a superstar and in the spotlight and handling the pressure and now…I don't want anyone to look at me. What if I fuck up? What if I don't protect the ball and it's stolen from me? They are expecting this amazing outside shooter, but what if none of my shots go in? What if I let them down?" He reeled off in a quiet, shaky voice.

"Babe, that's not going to happen. None of it."

"How do you know that? How can you be sure?" he whispered worriedly.

"Because I know you. You're much better than you think. Even Riley said so."

"I'm not as good as he is."

"No, you're better than he is. He's just been playing longer, he's just more at ease." His chest rose up and deflated with his deep breath and I just stared into his anxious eyes.

"I just wish..."

"What?"

"I don't know. That I had more time? That I wasn't starting? That they didn't know who I was before I was this way?"

My heart clenched for him. There was so much on his weary mind, giving up the dream of us living together next year, pressures of the game, the scholarship he applied for. There wasn't much, if anything, I could do to relieve any of it, but I could try. While I didn't think I had ever felt the amount of pressure he was, there had been many times I had felt unprepared and overwhelmed. It was running that soothed me, and more than once I had been unable to sleep and had climbed out of bed and put on my sneakers. It wasn't until my feet were rhythmically pounding the street that I began to feel better. The fresh air would coat my lungs, clearing my body of all the fears and worries that dragged it down.

Running was my antidote, my therapy. And basketball was Edward's.

Releasing his hand, I pushed myself off him. "Get up."

"What? It's two in the morning." He furrowed his brows as he watched me get off his bed. I stuffed my bare feet into my sneakers and pulled his chair next to the bed.

"C'mon. Get up," I repeated. Slowly he sat up, eyeing me curiously as he moved to the edge of the bed and into his chair.

"Jas, what the hell are you doing?" Ignoring his question, I put his shoes on his feet and then opened his door, glancing both ways down the hall before walking quietly toward the living room with Edward behind me. When I opened the front door, he stopped.

"Are you crazy?"

"Maybe," I mumbled. Pausing, I turned to him. "Trust me, baby."

"I do, you know that." Smiling, I walked out the front door and down the ramp, thankful it was warmer, and not nearly as dark, as I had expected. I heard Edward close the door softly behind me and by the time I was opening the garage door enough to bend under it, Edward was at the bottom of the ramp watching me curiously. When I reappeared with his basketball, he shook his head disbelievingly. "You want to play now?"

"You said you wanted more time. No sense wasting it lying in bed when you could be out here practicing," I reasoned hopefully. Biting his lip, he glanced at the basketball in my hands, then up to me.

"You are insane, you know that, right?"

"It's one of the many things you love about me," I shrugged. "So, what do say? A little one on one, babe?"

He looked up at me, the moonlight illuminating his face with an angelic glow. Brightening, slightly mischievous, but loving, eyes held mine as he debated just how crazy an idea this was. Even sleepy in rumpled clothes, he was breathtaking.

Then a small smile dawned across his face and I grinned, tossing him the ball. "You take it out first."

With the ball on his lap, he pushed out the arc where he began to dribble it next to him. Widening my stance, I readied for him to go by me. I might have been the one standing, but under no circumstances was I going to underestimate my boy. He went to turn the left and I went to my right, but he spun the chair and shot, swishing the ball.

"Fuck," I muttered as I retrieved it. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea." I dribbled the ball back to the arc and he spun his chair to face me, his eyes were trained on my feet, not my hands. I faked right, but went left, running into him on the way. I got the shot off but it bounced off the backboard and into Edward's hands.

"Oh, I think this was a great idea," he smirked, dribbling back out.

We continued to play, Edward kicking my ass, sometimes shooting outside, sometimes dribbling around. I put pressure on him, never easing up and he never once lost control of the ball. And as much as I tried, I was never able to steal it either. The teasing continued the entire time, as did some laughter and smiles. When it was my turn I stood at the arc waiting for Edward to set up and a movement in a window on the second floor caught my attention. I wasn't sure I'd seen it, but when I squinted my eyes, I saw a curtain falling back into place. I didn't tell Edward. He didn't need something else to worry about.

Determined to get by him, I dribbled to my right, spinning and shooting a fade away. The ball went through the net and I did a running man victory dance.

"Who da' man?" I asked him.

Shaking his head, Edward rebounded the ball and went to the line. "That makes it what? Twenty to ten?"

I stopped dancing. "Wow, way to bring a guy down, babe. That hurt." Edward made an incredible outside shot and I shook my head. "Why were you worried again?" I asked, carrying the ball over to him.

Then he looked at me with his intense eyes and the air shifted, thickening so much it was difficult to suck in a breath. Dropping the ball, I moved to him. Standing in front of him, his feet against my shins, I gazed at him. Taking his hand, I held it as I climbed into his lap and wrapped an arm around him before kissing the warm skin of his neck.

"This okay?" I breathed in his ear.

"Yeah, definitely okay," he sighed, resting his head against mine. "Thanks, love."

"This is why you need me with you next year," I whispered, still hoping to change his mind. Until that signed paper was in the mail, I could still say no to the scholarship.

Lifting his head, he put his fingers under my chin and drew me to him for a kiss. And there, in the middle of his driveway in the middle of the night, we kissed. His tongue met mine briefly before retreating back into his mouth. Sucking my bottom lip between his teeth, he tugged on it, then ran his tongue over it.

"Don't you know?" he murmured as he pulled away, replacing his lips with the tip of his finger as he traced my lips and stared into my eyes.

"Know what?"

"Jas, it doesn't matter if you're in Forks or Seattle or at OSU, wherever you are-"

"Is where I'll be…" I finished quietly for him. He didn't even seem surprised that I knew what he was going to say, and I wasn't surprised he had quoted my dream.

"Exactly. With us, distance doesn't matter. All in, remember?"

"All in," I vowed, moving my lips against his finger. "All in forever."

"Forever," he whispered reverently before kissing me again.

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

These boys…*sigh*

Andrew Wheating and Nick Symmonds. They run an amazing race, watch what happens with less than 300 yards left. http:/www DOTyoutube DOT com/watch?v=49Fwxo50ZiI