Neat little tidbit I noticed about the characters in the movie. Specifically, Lydia's parental figures have a bit of a theme naming. Adam, Barbara, Charles, and Delia. They're alphabetical. I know it doesn't really mean much, but it was just something interesting I noticed.
As usual, thanks a lot for the people who review this story. I always appreciate it. And if you really enjoy this crossover, I do have a purely "Danny Phantom" story also posted on this site called "Harmless." You're welcome to check it out too since I recently updated it.
Either way, thanks for reading this story and I hope I never disappoint my readers.
Talked to Barbara and Adam finally about Betelgeuse showing up in my mirror a little while ago. As I predicted, they weren't exactly happy about him being around. Can't completely blame them for the reaction. They wanted to charge straight to Juno and tell her. It took a little while to talk them down.
After convincing them not to tell their caseworker, I had to explain that I honestly think he's sorry about the almost wedding. That was a little trickier, but I did it. I considered calling him up to help support my story about him not actually knowing my age at the time, but I knew it would probably make things worse and more complicated.
They still weren't happy about him, but they trust my judgment to an extent. Which is part of the reason they're awesome ghost godparents as far as I'm concerned. Talking them into not telling Dad or Delia wasn't quite as tough. I just pointed out that neither of them would react well to the news and Dad would probably give himself a heart attack out of stress. Of course, Delia might just try to turn him into her new muse, which would be scary to imagine in an entirely different way than Betelgeuse seems to prefer.
But anyway, they promised to not tell anyone as long as I promised to tell them the moment he tried to do anything inappropriate (after banishing him if possible). Then they gave me a hug and asked me to be careful.
I'll probably still try to keep him out of the house as much as possible. It wouldn't be good if he managed to freak all of them out with his usual behavior before I have a chance to make sure that my theory is right.
I have no interest in getting shanghaied by your step-mom to be her muse. Granted, she wasn't half-bad looking, though the brunette in the attic is pretty decent in the flower dress too…
Stop writing in my journal, Beej. And stop commenting on Delia and Barbara. That's my step-mom and sort-of godmother. Do you know how creepy that is for me?
I can't help it that both of them are attractive, Babes.
They're married. And stop writing in my journal.
I can be patient. And what theory are you talking about?
Stop writing in my journal.
You keep responding, Lyds, so I got to keep it up. What theory?
The one that you're not as bad as you seem.
…You repeat that idea to anyone and I'll leave your bed on roof next time I visit. I have a reputation to maintain.
Whatever you say, Beej.
-Excerpt from "Lydia Deetz' Journal"
Sam thought she was growing used to strange surroundings. Her hometown was once dragged into the Ghost Zone, for goodness sake. Weird events were part of her daily life.
That didn't stop her stomach from performing a few somersaults as the poltergeist did something and their surroundings vanished. She felt like she was being pulled along, like the tail of a kite. It lasted for less than a second, not even long enough for her to blink, but the sensation was just so odd that Sam couldn't ignore it. Like going down the steep hill of a rollercoaster.
Then it was over. The world reasserted itself beneath her feet, though Sam could have sworn she spotted Betelgeuse stagger slightly out of the corner of her eye. She blinked and glanced around curiously at where she ended up.
At first, Sam thought they were still standing in the middle of a street. Not the same street, but certainly a street. There were houses, trees, and a few parked cars scattered around. The place was rather quaint, feeling more like a small town than the city of Amity Park. Then she started to notice a few details seemed off about the place.
"Is this Winter River?" asked Tucker hesitantly.
"Not unless the place is made of cardboard and foam," remarked Sam, scuffing her boot against the fake pavement. "Everything here is just a bunch of props and trickery."
The grass was green foam. The cars were toys. The buildings were cleverly-made, painted facsimiles. Everything was fake. Following a hunch, she looked up. Instead of a sky, she saw a distant wooden ceiling with lights dangling from it like makeshift stars. Unless they were in a giant enclosed stadium, Sam suspected they weren't the same size anymore.
"You're not completely wrong. This is Winter River. Or at least a model of it," Lydia said.
Sam started to take a step forward, curious to explore her new surroundings. Even with her life, how often did a person get shrunk down and have the chance to wander around a scale model of a town? But as she tried to move forward, Lydia's grip tightened. When she looked back questioningly, her fellow Goth shook her head. Apparently they needed to stick together.
"Let's see if they're in the attic," muttered the poltergeist. Then, in a louder voice, he called, "Hey, Doll! Are you and the dork still going strong or are you finally available?"
She didn't even have to look to know Lydia was rolling her eyes at his words. There were apparently multiple reasons why he was unpopular.
"Go away," a female voice shouted from somewhere overhead. "Lydia isn't here and we don't want to deal with you tonight."
Sam shook her head briefly. There was something odd about the voice. It was hard to explain. Like she could and couldn't hear it at the same time.
"Actually, she is here," he yelled back. "And unless you want to leave her the size of a toothpick, say the words and let us out."
There was a brief hesitation and an indistinct murmur from somewhere out of sight. There was obviously a discussion going on overhead, likely over whether or not to call him.
Turning her head upwards, Lydia called, "Barbara? Adam? It's me. He brought me and a few friends."
"If you're just copying her voice, you'll regret it," the woman's voice warned. "Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse."
The stomach-flipping, pulling, odd sensation hit again and Sam found herself standing in the middle of an attic. There was a window on the left, just past a large model with intricate details. There were a few odds and ends stashed around, like an ancient television that probably didn't even work anymore, empty picture frames stacked against the walls, and a sheet-covered couch practically shoved in a corner. Glancing behind her, she saw the bricks of a chimney with a chalk line running up it. In front of her, she saw a doorway that probably led to the stairs. She could tell it was probably at least a three story house based on the glimpse she caught out the window.
As she glanced around the room quickly, Sam noticed something strange. Her eyes and her brain seemed to be having trouble agreeing. Part of her insisted they were alone in the attic. The rest of her was certain she saw a curly brunette woman in a floral dress and a bespectacled man wearing a black-and-white checkered shirt and khakis. It was like having double vision as her mind tried to deny their presence.
The moment of confusion didn't make sense, though. Sam knew ghosts were real and that someone was definitely in the room, responding to Betelgeuse and Lydia's remarks. They had to be present. And with that thought, the strange dissonance vanished. She could abruptly see the pair easily. And they wore horrified expressions on their faces.
Danny wasn't certain how the poltergeist was able to transport them apparently all the way to Connecticut. He knew Wulf could slice through the barriers between the different dimensions as a quick shortcut, but this seemed different. And maybe a little more impressive. He just didn't know exactly how it worked.
What he did know, however, was that Betelgeuse was far more tired than he wanted to let on. The arm draped across the teenager's shoulders certainly seemed casual and intended as mocking friendliness. But when they first appeared in the strange model town and then in the attic, Danny felt the ghost lean against him in an attempt to regain his balance. He wasn't even sure that Betelgeuse realized he'd done it. He might be trying to hide it, but there was clearly some residual effects from whatever damage barreling through the portal unsummoned caused him and moving a lot of people probably wasn't helping. If it was Danny, he'd probably have already reverted back to human from lack of energy. But if Betelgeuse wanted to hide any signs of weakness or exhaustion, Danny wasn't going to say a word. He could do that much for the poltergeist.
He was, however, wondering if he should risk getting some distance between him and Betelgeuse. The guy didn't seem to be popular and he didn't want to get caught in the fallout. The two strangers in the attic, the ones who were previously speaking and obviously didn't want the poltergeist around, were staring at the group with matching horrified expressions. And even though they looked completely human and didn't seem to be triggering his Ghost Sense, there was something about them that just announced that they weren't alive. Once again, it seemed he was facing non-Ghost Zone entities.
"Barbara," smiled Lydia in relief, rushing forward to hug the pair. "Adam. I've missed you."
The man was quick to return the embrace, but the woman soon pulled back enough that she could properly see the injuries to the girl. A quick look to the man and abruptly there were death glares directed towards the poltergeist.
"What did you do to her?" snapped Barbara. "We should have told Juno the instant you came back. I don't care how powerful you are—"
"Hey, he didn't do this," interrupted Tucker. "That was the other guy."
"For once, I can honestly say this wasn't my fault. Mostly," Betelgeuse said. "So try turning all that parental anger towards the more productive direction of the guy who actually did it. Or, I don't know, maybe see if you have bandages around here for the bleeding injury to her head before she makes a mess all over your attic."
Adam nodded slowly, "I think they left a first aid kit in the bathroom cabinet. Give me just a minute to find it."
The man hurried down the stairs while the woman gave a final glare at the poltergeist before returning her focus to looking over Lydia's head wound. The girl seemed to be stuck in the awkward state where she was both embarrassed by the way Barbara was fussing and happy with the affection, a state of existence experienced by most teenagers at some point in their lives. Mostly, though, Lydia seemed content and relieved to be near the woman.
"What happened, Lydia?" she whispered.
"There was a jerk of a ghost who got a lucky hit," said the girl. "I'm fine. It looks worse than it actually is."
"You were almost killed by the ghost of Jack the Ripper," exclaimed Tucker. "Dude, you really have a talent for understatement."
Barbara looked appropriately horrified to hear that, hugging Lydia close again. The two Goth girls directed a pair of sharp glares at the boy, ensuring that everyone knew that they didn't appreciate the blunt way he said it. In his defense, Tucker seemed to realize that mentioning near murder to the clearly maternal woman was a mistake.
"See? Mostly not my fault," muttered Betelgeuse. "Sanduleak's fault. And maybe her aunt's. I'm definitely blaming that crazy old bat. I'll blame her for anything I can come up with. I'll even blame her for the economy too. But it wasn't my fault this time."
"He's right," Danny said. "He wasn't even in the human world until near the end, so there's no way he could be the one to blame for this. And even if he freaked out all the other ghosts in the area, he did charge in to rescue her."
Looking a little uncertain still, the woman at least gave the poltergeist a less hostile look. Danny spotted the brief look of surprise before his expression became more confident and smug. Betelgeuse also still had his arm draped across the halfa's shoulders, occasionally steadying himself a little. Danny purposefully didn't mention it and stayed in place. The ghost simply acted like everything was under control, so the boy tried to keep up the illusion.
"I'm sure it comes as a shock to you, but I did try to keep Lyds safe," said the poltergeist tensely. "Even told Danny-boy about the girls being in trouble the moment I figured it out so he could charge in like a classic thick-headed hero type. Though he is cleverer than most of them. He pulled off a few neat tricks, after all."
"Thanks?" Danny said uncertainly.
The man finally returned from downstairs, carrying a small chair with one arm and a plastic first aid kit and a couple of washcloths tucked under the other. The couple quickly shuffled Lydia into the chair before sitting on the covered couch themselves, putting them at a perfect height to focus on the painful-looking lump on the side of the girl's head. From there, they started cleaning away the drying blood gently, the washcloths already making progress on the sticky mess.
Everything about the pair, from the expressions on their faces to the way they interacted with the girl, made them seem like her parents. But Danny heard about the Maitlands, Adam and Barbara, earlier. They weren't technically her parents, but they were important to Lydia. They obviously cared for her like family. So even if they weren't her parents, they were a close enough substitution as far as the boy was concerned.
"Guess it's a good thing they left so many belongings when you left," remarked Adam, grimacing as he pushed back her hair enough to see the damage. "There are a lot of sheets draped over the furniture, some of the clothes were donated, and your room is pretty empty, but your aunt and uncle didn't take much."
"They took plenty," Lydia muttered, wincing as they cleaned the injury.
Trying to obviously distract the girl from their efforts to doctor her, Barbara asked, "So who are your new friends, Lydia? They definitely seem to notice us."
"Well, the boy in the red beret is Tucker. He's good with technology," she explained. "The girl's name is Sam. We kind of have similar fashion tastes. And the boy with the white hair and the superhero jumpsuit is Danny. I met them in Amity Park. They have class with me. Turns out they deal with ghosts regularly too. Just… different types."
"You mean the ones mentioned in the book from that zone place?" asked Barbara, reaching for the antiseptic.
"Right," Lydia said before hissing sharply in pain as they dabbed at her head.
"Nice to meet you," greeted Sam. "We've heard a lot about you, Mr. and Mrs. Maitland."
"And since I haven't mentioned the time you fed me to a sandworm, I'm sure they've heard nothing but good," Betelgeuse said dryly.
"Beej," said Lydia in a warning tone.
Rolling her eyes, Barbara turned towards the other teenagers and said, "Sam? Tucker? There are some scratches on you too. We should probably take care of those."
"We certainly have enough bandages and gauze," added Adam as he began to bind up the lump on the girl's head.
Smiling wryly, Tucker remarked, "Yeah, we do look a little mangled."
"Betelgeuse! You idiotic, infuriating, insane poltergeist! You just couldn't resist. You just couldn't stay put for a little while."
Everyone flinched at the angry explosion from an unknown speaker, the target of the rage nearly stumbling as Danny found himself supporting a lot of his weight for a moment. The boy briefly wondered if they were about to be attacked again and thankful that he was still in his ghost form, though he also knew it would be a short fight.
Stepping into view, though the halfa wasn't certain from where, was a short-haired blond woman in a grayish suit jacket over a white shirt. She wore a necklace of pearls, held a cigarette between her fingers, and gave on the impression that she didn't put up with nonsense from anyone. She looked like someone's grandmother, but walked forward with far too much authority to be underestimated. And once again, Danny knew she was a ghost even without his Ghost Sense going off.
"Juno," said Adam, looking briefly panicked. "I know we should have told you he was still around—"
"Save it," she snapped. "I'm not worried about you two. I'm here about him."
"Hey there, June-bug," greeted Betelgeuse, aiming a winning smile at her. "You're not upset about me leaving the Waiting Room, are you? Because that place was enough to even bore ghosts to death."
"How in the world did you manage to get by on your own for so long? I should have your head for all the trouble you cause, both to my afterlife and in general."
Smirking, he said coyly, "Well, if you really want my head—"
"Shut up," she snapped. "I am not in the mood. I just got done reading your file—"
"All of it?"
"Just the most recent additions. The rest was too long to read in a hurry."
"You don't know what you're missing, June-bug. It should have some great stories."
"Betelgeuse, you'll shut up and listen right now or so help me, I will personally drag your sorry hide back to Saturn and leave you there until the next century rolls around. Am I clear?"
Apparently deciding the older woman was serious and that the threat was bad enough to warrant some cooperation, the poltergeist didn't say a word. He just leaned on Danny in what appeared to be a casual fashion and waited.
With her head freshly bandaged, Lydia stood up and pulled away from her ghostly pseudo-parents. She quickly placed herself between the woman and the poltergeist, her very posture declaring her intent to protect him.
"Juno, I know you're mad at him about the near-wedding. Everyone by this point agrees it was creepy, weird, and wrong. But we didn't get married, we aren't going to get married, and everyone involved knows it was a mistake. And he didn't know I was twelve at the time. That was just a misunderstanding. And if I've forgiven him, then I think everyone else should just get over it and move on by now. And the reason Adam and Barbara didn't tell you is because I asked them not to. I wanted to give Beej a chance and I knew you wouldn't let him stay around if you knew, so blame that part on me. But you can't be mad at him now—"
"Oh, I can be mad at him," interrupted Juno as the Maitlands stood up from the couch and pulled the girl away from the woman. "Ever since I met him in 1919, he's been a giant pain in the neck. And while I'm trying to clean up his last mess, trying to forcibly marry an underage girl against her will—"
"In my defense, she did agree and I kept up my end of the deal," Betelgeuse muttered.
"I said keep quiet," she snapped. "And you know if you're going to do something stupid like marry the living, they have to do it by their own free will. No tricks, no coercing, and no compulsion. And voice mimicry doesn't count. And did I mention the underage part? But while I'm trying to keep my bosses from deciding you've gone too far finally and handling my usual caseload, do you stay in the Waiting Room where you can't cause anymore headaches? No."
Gesturing in frustration at the poltergeist, the woman shook her head briefly and brought her cigarette up to her face. The brief awkward pause in her tirade was rather uncomfortable, practically begging someone to break it.
"Uh, you know smoking is bad for your health, right?" said Tucker hesitantly.
The disbelieving expression on Juno's face in response was actually pretty hysterical. Danny could feel Betelgeuse fighting back the urge to laugh out loud. Of course, he could also feel the poltergeist leaning against him far more regularly than before. Thankfully, he was stronger as a ghost than as a human, so Danny could support his weight without looking like he was actually doing anything.
"I'm fairly certain that I don't need to worry about that," the woman said dryly, blowing out a puff of smoke as a second cloud floated out of a slit in her throat Danny hadn't even noticed previously.
Eyes widening as he spotted the same thing, Tucker mumbled, "I'll just be quiet now."
"You do that," she said, rolling her eyes in a clear statement that she felt like she was surrounded by idiots. Then, turning her attention back to Betelgeuse, she continued ranting, "So you skip out after apparently a couple of months and run right back to the scene of your most recent disaster. Whether for revenge or to complete your nuptials, I don't care. All it would take would be one false move and all my efforts to get you some form of leniency would be wasted. Which would serve you right and would give me a break. But by some miracle, you managed to stay under the radar for two years. You caused some chaos, but nothing large scale."
"Hey, I still pulled off some bio-exorcist jobs," the poltergeist muttered, sounding almost like he was sulking.
"Did I give you permission to talk?" asked Juno sharply. "You avoided large scale chaos, but you still ended up in trouble. Your most recent file entries make that quite clear. How in the world do you end up in these situations, you impulsive ghost?"
Gesturing towards his chest with the hand not supporting himself, Betelgeuse asked, "Trouble? Me? And here I thought I'd been displaying some pretty good behavior recently. What exactly did I do since the almost-wedding that has you so worked up, June-bug?
"We'll ignore the fact you've been moving the living into and through the Netherworld for the moment. That's a headache for another day. Let's review what's happened in the last week or so, shall we? First, you nearly get yourself exorcised."
"It wasn't the first time people tried it on me. I'm just usually able to break out and stop them before it gets too far," he muttered. "My power trumps most people's will power. She just had a secret advantage other people lacked. Evil witch and her freaky necklace…"
"So you barely escape an exorcism and end up getting bound by the living for your troubles. And instead of doing the smart thing and taking some time to recover from that misadventure, you decide to go charging through the Ghost Zone like you don't have a shred of common sense and scaring the locals," she said, actually stepping closer to poke him in the chest. "Then, because apparently normal insanity just wasn't enough for the Ghost With The Most, you go lurking around that stupid portal. Actually, you did more than just lurk."
"What did you expect me to do?" he snapped, though his voice lacked some of his early force. "A serial killer ghost was trying to kill Lyds. That wasn't going to happen, June-bug. And you and your bosses certainly wouldn't approve of the dead killing the living, so you're not allowed to complain about me stopping Sanduleak. Of course, if you bothered to deal with him years ago—"
"That was before my time and you know it," she said. "Blame the previous civil servants. And he was locked up, so no one was worried about him anyway."
"Well, obviously he got out finally. And it isn't my job to deal with Jack the Ripper for you," muttered Betelgeuse. "I haven't worked for you in quite some time, June-bug. Remember?"
There were definitely hints of the poltergeist reaching the end of his strength. Even a few of the others in the room were starting to notice something off about him, Lydia especially giving him a look of concern. His voice was less energetic than before, the ghost no longer able to mask it with his tone. His eyes looked less animated, his eyelids drooping down. And the arm draped across Danny's shoulders no longer appeared as casual.
"I'm quite aware you don't work for me and we will track down Mr. Sanduleak for proper punishment," she said curtly. "That doesn't erase the fact that you were idiotic enough to go through that portal. You are not some freshly-dead spirit who doesn't understand his limitations. You cannot get out unless someone says your name."
"Well, it wasn't easy or fun," he mumbled.
"Of course not, you idiot. It could have destroyed you, regardless of how powerful and stubborn you think you are," shouted Juno. "You managed to get by for almost six hundred years without me babysitting your sorry hide, so you must have something resembling a survival instinct. And yet you do something completely insane and almost ended up with a fate worse than entrapment in the Lost Souls Room. Is that what you want? The Ghost With The Most suffering oblivion because he lacked the sense to remember his limitations? I did not go through all the trouble of dealing with you as an assistant for decades and then still cleaning up your messes afterwards for you to just throw away your afterlife because you decided to be impulsive and stupid."
The woman's anger abruptly made far more sense to Danny. It wasn't just fury and frustration. The ghost was worried about the poltergeist. As much as she was clearly annoyed by Betelgeuse, she obviously didn't want him dead or destroyed or whatever the correct term would be. She was ranting and yelling at him because she felt upset he almost got himself killed.
"Oblivion?" asked Barbara quietly, looking between Juno and Betelgeuse uneasily.
"She's exaggerating," claimed the poltergeist even as Danny subtly moved his arm to steady the ghost's slight wobbling. "Believe it or not, June-bug can act like a real mother hen sometimes. I think she forgets I'm actually older than her."
"You act more like a rebellious child, so I have to treat you like one," said Juno. "And I'm not exaggerating. You never gave yourself a chance to rest after one brush with disaster before diving straight into another. Then you nearly rip yourself apart. How much power did it take to avoid it? Because I'm guessing it was enough that you can't bounce back instantly like you're trying to pretend."
"And why would you say that?" he mumbled, trying to adopt a stubborn look.
"Because if you weren't obviously out of energy, you wouldn't have stood there listened to me this entire time without trying to create some type of disruptive distraction," she said, pausing momentarily to release another cloud of smoke. Then, in a slightly gentler tone, Juno continued, "You can fight it all you want, but you're exhausted. Considering you should be gone after that stunt you pulled, I'd call that a reasonable state to be in at the moment. You need to get some rest before you fall over."
"I think he'd have fallen over already if I wasn't holding him up," Danny admitted.
Through his increasingly bleary eyes, the poltergeist managed a slight glare at the halfa and mumbled, "Traitor."
"Come on, Beej," Lydia said gently, taking his other arm and leading him forward. "I'm safe. You're safe. Everyone is safe. Except Sanduleak. He's gone. No one is going to bother us here. Surely you can risk a short nap while I visit with Barbara and Adam, right?"
"I guess a short nap wouldn't hurt," he mumbled as she and Danny shuffled him towards the couch. Pausing briefly, he glanced in Juno's direction, "Take a look at Danny-boy while you're here. He's a paradox. That should give your paperwork some trouble."
"I don't deal with ectoplasm ghosts," she said dryly, "so I don't care what's going on with him."
Betelgeuse snorted, his eyes already closed, "Too bad. Wanted to see your reaction. Thought it'd be funnier."
"Sorry to disappoint," said the woman, sounding completely unapologetic.
By this point, Danny was trying to lower the poltergeist onto the couch only to discover that Betelgeuse seemed to have already slipped into unconsciousness. He wasn't sure if it was the dark circles under his eyes, but he looked painfully exhausted now that he wasn't pretending to be fine. Danny had a feeling that nothing short of a direct attack against the poltergeist would wake him up now.
…Or a direct attack against Lydia.
"Idiotic, impulsive, insane poltergeist," muttered Juno, shaking her head at the sight. "It would be so much easier to deal with him if he matched that reputation he works so hard to maintain. It would be easier because I could hate him and let him destroy his afterlife. But no, he's got to go and do something halfway decent every now and then." She glanced towards Lydia and said, "I don't know how you do it, but you're bringing out that tiny spark of goodness buried under all that scum. Practically had him playing hero today. Doesn't change the fact he essentially needs a babysitter to keep him out of trouble."
"Or a friend," the girl replied, looking towards him with the sort of exasperated fondness that seemed perfectly natural.
In case you're wondering how their files ended up with all sorts of recent info when no one seemed to realize Betelgeuse left the waiting room, I imagine that the files update themselves automatically. Just like the Handbook appears for the recently dead wherever they end up haunting. It is one of the good parts about the bureaucratic nature of the Netherworld. It won't necessary keep track of the ghost's exact location, but it'll list major activities, encounters, events, and any rule infractions that they might attempt. Of course, someone still has to go locate the file and read it before they know what's going on, but at least no one has to record the stuff.
Once again, go and buy my book. There's a link on my profile, but it is currently not working for some reason. So just go to Amazon and look up "Dead Man Walking" by A.R. Jones. You can't miss it. You can buy it for the Kindle or download the Kindle app thing for your smartphone. You can probably even download it on your iPad or other computer things. Just go out and support my original piece of fiction, please.
Remember, reviews are nice and I always appreciate them. I love hearing feedback on this and all stories I write. Thanks.