If on a Winter's Night

by Touchstone67

One fateful, winter's night, Edward and Jasper's lives are turned upside down. Is their relationship strong enough to withstand the aftermath, or will they be driven apart forever? Rated M for sexual situations, language. AH J/E slash

26. Take These Broken Wings and Learn to Fly

Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.

A/N-Sorry for the delay in posting, but the original fiction I'm working on sucked me into its world and I didn't dare climb out long enough to play with these boys. Please know if there is another delay, I will never abandon this story and it will be completed.

This chapter will once again go back in time to the meadow- we need to hear what E thinks of marriage, and goes from there forward, spanning a five days. Again, this should have been two chapters, but hopefully you all don't mind much. I don't recommend skimming, a LOT happens in this chapter.

Thank you to everyone that reads, reviews, and supports this story.

This chapter is unbeta'd, all mistakes, grammatical and otherwise, are mine. Special thanks to Dannie, if it wasn't for her encouragement and faith in my writing, these boys wouldn't be here.

Now Edward's pov

"**~~**"

If on a winter's night he hadn't asked me….

"**~~**"

Marry him.

Jasper wanted to marry me.

At first, I didn't think he was serious. Like every other young couple in love, we'd spoken about it in the past, even picked out a song, but neither of us had ever officially asked the other. Even if he was joking, my heart still raced at the thought. Jasper had no idea how much time I'd spent daydreaming about this very moment, about the time when we would agree to become one in every way. Still, as well as I knew Jasper, I couldn't tell if he was being completely serious or not, and until I did, I had to play it cool.

"Love, I know that was an amazing orgasm but…" I gave him the crooked smile I knew always melted his insides.

He was shaking his head, halting me before I could finish. "It's the not orgasm talking, Edward. It's me. I want to marry you. I want to be your husband and know you're mine forever. I want to be able to kiss you freely, anyplace anytime I want and not feel guilty or ashamed about it. I want to know when we're six hours apart and you're sitting in a classroom full of hot pianists, that it's me you belong to. I want them to all know it too. I'm all in, baby."

I brushed the hair off his face, sticking it behind his ear. "Jasper, we have all that now."

"I can't kiss you freely. People don't know you're mine, or I'm yours. We're coming out after graduation, right? So why not?" he challenged.

"Jasper—" I went to stop him, to make him think about what he was asking, how big a step it was. It went beyond the daydreams of what we would wear and what song we would dance to, he was asking for a lifelong commitment…with a paralyzed husband.

"Don't say it. Don't say we're too young. You know age doesn't matter with us, not after all we've been through. It's about getting to spend the rest of my life with my best friend. All that matters is being together in every way we can. If not physically, then by marriage."

Didn't he know I was his already? That nothing could come between us? "Jasper, you don't have to marry me to know I'm yours."

"I know, but I want to. I want to call you my husband. When I'm at school and people see the ring on my finger, I want them to know I'm taken by the most beautiful boy alive," he whispered.

His words resounded inside me, swirling around with the love I knew we shared. I looked into his eyes, darkened from his excitement. Jasper, the dreamer, the romantic, was performing the grandest gesture of love. I was supposed to be practical and rational, and while my words were just that, inside my heart raced and swelled with possibility. Could I say yes? Could I have a husband, get married, and live a life with him? It wasn't just going to college with Jasper, it was waking up with him in my arms for every day of forever. We would have rings, buy a house, have careers, and grow old together.

There was never a more beautiful dream or perfect future.

Angling my head, I grinned, confessing quietly. "That does sound nice."

Squeezing my hand, he bit his lip and repeated his question. "So…will you marry me, Edward?"

I was in a wheelchair. My legs were useless. I couldn't have sex, I couldn't walk or run or jump, and he still wanted to marry me, he still wanted to be my husband. How could I say no to a future with Jasper? How could I say no to my boy?

"Yes," I vowed softly.

He lunged at me, lying on me as he kissed me and we laughed between our lips meeting again and again. Our hearts pounded against each other as giggles escaped him. Running my hand up and down his back, I pressed him to me, disappointed when he broke the kiss and lifted his head.

"I want to get married this summer, before we leave for college."

"Okay, but there's a few problems with that."

"What?"

While the dreamer side in me had dared to hope one day we would get married, the practical side in me had done some research. Only six states allowed gays to marry, Iowa being the closest to us. Washington wasn't one of them, neither was Oregon. In fact, neither of them would recognize our marriage even if we got married legally in another state. But there was something else stopping us besides the government. I was only seventeen. While he didn't always act like it, Jasper was actually three months older than me, but wouldn't be eighteen until July.

"Washington doesn't allow gay marriage, neither does Oregon."

"I'm not going to let that stand in my way," he grinned.

"My rebel," I murmured, brushing my lips over his.

"Damn right. They really don't allow it?"

"Nope. In fact, they don't even recognize it. We could get married legally in another state, but if we moved back here, they wouldn't accept it. Both states have domestic partnerships, but that's it."

"You said a few problems, what's the other one?"

"I won't be eighteen until October."

"Fuck," he groaned, dropping his chin to his chest. "So even if we did a road trip to someplace else to get married, you couldn't do it anyway."

"Not until October thirteenth." He suddenly looked so sad. The happiness that had been exploding out of him a few minutes earlier was gone. He closed his eyes. "Hey, you okay?" I asked, brushing my fingers down his cheek.

"Yeah." He was quiet as he just stared down at me, and if I looked closely enough, I could see the resolve rebuilding in his eyes again. That was my stubborn boy, not giving up on what he wanted.

"Let's get married anyway."

"Where, love? No one will marry us," I reminded him, fingering the end of his hair. He felt so heavy and warm on me, his sun-kissed skin turning a beautiful russet color before my eyes, making his own blue seem even lighter than normal.

"Then we'll get married here, in the meadow. Just you and me," he suggested as if it was already fact.

"Here?"

"Yep, right here. Our spot."

"I was thinking someplace with running water might be nice," I teased him. Actually, marrying at the meadow had been in a few of my daydreams too.

"There's a stream on the other side of those pine trees."

"Not exactly the kind of running water I meant," I laughed, kissing his nose.

"C'mon, baby. Just us, here, saying our vows. Then you can sing our song and we can dance…" He paused, letting his daydreams fill both our imaginations. "We can buy rings and put them on each other. It might not be legal by the law but it will be for us. I can still call you my husband."

Love was more than holding hands and sex, love was commitment, supporting each other no matter what. Moving my hand from his hair to his face, I traced his features, the thick eyebrows, the slope of his cheekbone, the curve of his lush lips, the square of his scruffy jaw. Somehow, as they always do, my fingers found their way back to his hair, where I twirled the ends. I still couldn't believe he wanted to marry me, and all the trouble I would bring with me. It would be a hard life for him, one I wouldn't wish on anyone, but one he was volunteering for. If he wanted to marry in meadow, then I did too.

"Okay, we'll get married here. Just you and I," I agreed quietly.

"All in?" He grinned.

"All in."

"Dance with me?"

He didn't even give me time to respond before he was pushing off me and standing up. I barely had time to fling my arms around his neck before he was scooping me up into his arms and forcing himself upright. I fell against his body, holding him tighter when he stumbled backward a step. Finding his balance, he began to sway us back and forth, his feet moving in a small circle as he began singing "All You Need is Love". Curling my fingers into the softest hair at the nape of his neck, I sang with him. He rested his temple to mine while his fingers rubbed my side. The songs changed, but our position didn't. I put my head on his shoulder and unable to resist the column of his neck and the pulse beating so quickly under the delicate skin, I darted my tongue and pressed on it before nibbling. He tasted of salt and fresh air and sun. His scent filled my lungs when I inhaled deep breaths of him and moved my lips further up his neck, tempted to mark him with each bite. There was no hiding his reaction, and while I couldn't feel his hard on, I knew he had one from the way his jaw clenched and breaths grew shallow.

When I asked him if he wanted to fuck my mouth, he almost dropped us. I smiled against his skin, proud I still had that kind of effect on him. Then I offered to the choice of coming in my mouth or on my face, never once easing on his neck and jaw. The stubble was abrasive on my lips as I swept them over it a few times, enjoying the sandpaper feel. By the time I put my lips to his ear, I had tingling the base of my neck.

"Wanna come again?"

"Yes," he gasped.

He lowered us onto the blanket, and I turned so my head was back on the sweatshirt. "Come fuck my mouth, love. Give it me."

He straddled my chest and I lifted my arms so he could get close to my face. "Jesus, where's this coming from?"

"What? I can't want my future husband to fuck my mouth?"

He was beyond an answer as he placed his hands on the blanket above my head, giving himself some leverage and sinking his cock into my mouth. I devoured him inch by inch until he paused deep inside me, then I swallowed around him. Using my tongue, I lapped along the bottom of his length, then over his head before he pulled back out again. After a few shallow thrusts, I could already feel he was close to coming, and tugged on his sac to hold off his orgasm. I watched his abs flex right above me, quivering each time his cock struck my throat. Sliding my middle finger behind his balls, I stroked the velvet skin behind them, and his cock swelled. He let out a guttural cry before yanking his hips back and pulling his cock out. Closing my eyes just in time, I felt the warm streams of cum land on my face, hitting my cheek, nose, and lips. Wanting to taste him, I dragged my tongue along my lip, gathering his seed and bringing it into my mouth. With grunts of pleasure and obscene murmurs, he fell to the side of me, landing on his back.

"Jesus, baby," he panted as I dragged my body until I was level with him. I loved that I could still make him come so quickly, so easily. Still breathing heavily, he reached up and wiped some of his cum from my cheek with his thumb and then laid it on my lower lip. Sucking it inside, I swirled my tongue around it and licked him clean. He continued to wipe it off me and I continued to lick it off him.

"Why is so hot to see you with my cum on you?"

"Because you like making me yours." Same reason I'd lain in bed many times jerking off to the image of Jasper looking up at me through hooded, desire-filled eyes with my cum painting his face.

"Mmm, do I ever."

Flipping onto my back, I laughed and stuffed the sweatshirt under my head. Before my eyes had closed, he turned and placed his head low on my pelvis. If I could still feel, I know I would have felt his warm breaths washing over my cock. My hand went to his hair, tangling in it loosely around my fingers, keeping him to me in our impending sleep.

I wasn't going to let him go.

Ever.

A breeze blew over us, cooling our heated skin. I heard Jasper sigh in content as he mumbled, "Love you."

"Love you too…" I barely got out before sleep took me.

"Cullen!"

I spun my chair in the direction of the voice, my teammate calling out to me. He was under the basket, blocking the guard next to him. Whipping the ball to him, I watched as he caught it, dribbled once and shot. The ball bounced off the rim, but his position allowed him to rebound it, and he immediately passed it back out to me.

The last seconds of the game were ticking away as I caught the ball. I was a several feet passed the three-point line, a little out of my range, but because I was so far out, the other team was guarding me loosely, and I had plenty of room to shoot. Still, I wasn't within my usual range…

We were down by two, a shot from there would win the game. Unsure, I looked to the stands, not even having to scan through all the people there, my eyes instinctively landed Jasper. Everyone around him faded away as he nodded and mouthed "you can do it." Turning back to the basket, I exhaled, and then lifted the ball. With a flick of my wrist, I released it and it sailed through the air. My opponent swore under his breath when he realized I was going to shoot and came to block me but was too late. It seemed a minute later before the ball dropped into the net and we won. Relieved, I turned toward Jasper, only he wasn't in the bleachers anymore, he was already making his way down the stands to me.

"You did it, babe," he said as he neared me. Without hesitating, he curved a hand behind my neck and I tilted my head back to accept his kiss. It was soft and brief, but as perfect as any other.

"And you were right," I smiled. "Let me get my stuff together and we can head out."

"Definitely. We need to celebrate. Tonight, it's burgers." He gave me his irresistible smile. He waited while I went to the bench and packed my bag, accepting the congratulations from my teammates and coach. When I turned around, Jasper was by the exit, leaning all sexy casual like against the doorjamb, his hair covering his eyes as they watched me.

Jesus, he was fucking hot.

Shaking my head, I pushed across the shiny floor to where he waited. Winking, he turned and walked next to me as we headed out the gym and to the parking lot. I stopped at the maroon van, pressing a button and waiting for the side door to open and the ramp to lower. Jasper climbed in the passenger side as I transferred from the wheelchair to the driver's seat and pressed a button to put the ramp up.

It was a short drive to our small apartment, but once we were inside, Jasper headed right for the kitchen. "Cheese and bacon on yours?"

"Yep."

A few minutes later, I joined him in the kitchen. Jasper had the iHome on with his classic rock playlist on. My breath caught when I saw his slim hips swaying to the deep beat.

"You staring at my ass?" he asked without turning around, but wiggling his butt for me.

"I am. Got a problem with that?"

"Not at all." He gave me an amused glance over his shoulder. Rolling next to him, I helped him cook dinner, flipping the burgers while he cooked the bacon. We worked easily together, moving around each other like there was no chair in our way.

We ate dinner on the couch watching a track and field event that Jasper had recorded. When were done, I took his hand and led him to the shower where he cleaned every inch of me before taking me to bed. He laid my naked body on the mattress and placed himself on top of me, kissing and rubbing and grinding until he couldn't stand it anymore. After I prepared his entrance with slick fingers, he lowered himself onto my cock, moaning as he sank down and took me inside. With my hands on his hips, I watched him move up and down me. He told me how I felt inside him, how I filled him. I couldn't feel his movement on my cock, but I liked to feel it through my hands, the way his muscles strained to go slow, and the way they trembled when he neared his climax. He took my left hand from his hip, bringing it to his lips and kissing the gold band circling my ring finger. Smiling at him, I pulled my hand from his grasp and stroked him, pumping until he came on me, coating my chest as he ground his hips and squeezed his ass around me. I followed him, shooting a weak load inside him. He fell on top of me and we fell asleep just like that.

As usual, I woke before Jasper did, but I didn't mind. Looking down the slopes of my chest, I smiled when I saw his hair still wrapped around my fingers. Even though he was looking away from me, I'd watched Jasper sleep enough to know his lips were parted, perhaps even smiling, and his eyes were moving back and forth under his lids. The small details, like the way his thick lashes fanned over his cheeks or the way his forehead was free of worry creases, were my favorite things about watching him sleep. My eyes lingered on his hair, the different shades of wheat and amber threaded around each other in the sunlight, before moving to his shoulders. Jasper's runner's body had always been thinner than me, but he didn't lack muscle. Under his tanned skin, muscles rippled even in his sleep. My hand followed the track of my eyes, skimming over the smooth skin down the dip of his spine to the curve of his ass. In his sleep, he shuddered when my fingers reached the dimples above his ass, dancing around them before returning up his back. I stared at his spine, amazed at how it worked, how it allowed him to do things so easily. I admired Jasper's body for all it was, not only sexy and beautiful, but a work of functional art.

Jasper didn't know what I was planning to do at PT the next day, and I should have woken him and told him. As much as I wanted to share the possible event with him, I didn't want to disappoint him, and if I wasn't able to stand, I would disappoint both of us. So for awhile, Emmett and I would be the only ones to know.

He was functional, but I was not. And I hadn't emptied my bladder since that morning, and Jasper's head was so close, the last thing I wanted was for me to accidently piss on his face. I needed to wake him.

The ihome began to play "Penny Lane" and I hummed quietly along with it, my fingers constantly moving over his back and shoulders. There was the smallest shift in his hips and I knew he was awake. I smiled when I asked if he was awake and he groaned, as if he had no energy for anything else, but I was pretty sure if I touched him in just the right way, he would have eagerly come again.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Very." He lifted his head and faced me. I almost gasped when I saw how intense his eyes were, and smiled at the imprint of my dick on his cheek. "Did you?"

"I had a dream." I don't know what made me admit it. I knew he would want details, and I couldn't tell him about OSU yet, it was too soon, but I wanted to share the dream with him.

"A sexy dream?"

"Sort of."

"Tell me. I want details."

Just like I thought.

"Okay, but first I need to…um…I need to use my catheter."

"Oh, shit, I forgot, I'm sorry," he apologized, sitting up.

"I did too."

Placing a hand behind me, I sat up and unzipped my bag, pulling out a kit and gloves. He sweetly gave me the option of privacy that I didn't really have with him sitting next to me. While he watched, I put on the gloves and opened the kit, attaching the tubing to the bag before gripping my dick in my hand and wiping it with iodine and squeezing the head to widen the slit. It didn't shock me anymore, to hold my dick in my hands and not feel anything. I inserted the tube, sliding the lubricated plastic through my urethra and into my bladder. It was only a few seconds before urine started to run through the clear tube and into the bag. When it was about half full, I pulled the tube out a little until the flow started again. Once it stopped completely, I slipped it all the way out and clamped the bag closed.

Then I looked around.

The bag was pretty thick, but if I put it in my bag, I would risk it leaking. Jasper offered to take it to the edge of the meadow and empty it. I was hesitant, but then gave him the gloves and showed him how to empty it, and then watched as he carried my piss to the trees and dumped it out. The things he did for me would never cease to amaze me. He returned and I put the empty bag into my backpack. Jasper didn't forget about the dream, because as soon as I was done, he was pushing me back down and lying next to me, his body filling in every crevice of mine like he was made to.

I proceeded to tell him about the dream, leaving out the details of where it was or what team shirt I was wearing. Jasper could fill in those blanks with his own active imagination, interrupting a few times with his sexual innuendos. Then I told him how he'd rode me, how we stared at each other, how he came on my chest and then I came inside him. I knew I was blushing when he cupped my cheek and his skin felt extra hot.

"That sounds like a really good dream."

"It was."

"That can happen, ya know. If you just let me go to UW with you," he frowned.

I had never been so tempted by anything ever before. The admission of applying to OSU almost burst from me, but I bit my tongue and snapped a quick response instead. If Jasper knew I'd applied, he would already be picking out an apartment, and it wasn't that easy. Just because I'd applied didn't mean I was accepted, and I couldn't get his hopes up only to squash them with the reality that seemed to always come crashing down on us. All I could do was promise it would go by quickly and hope I wasn't lying.

"Gonna be the longest fucking nine months," he sighed heavily.

He was hurting, the separation was weighing heavier on him than he was letting on, but right then, there was little I could do about it. Tugging on his hair, I drew him up my body for a kiss. Jasper trusted me, and when I told him we could do it, I knew he felt it too. We made out for what might have been hours or minutes, in our meadow time had a different meaning. Hands carded through hair and rubbed nipples. Soft moans were exchanged along with lingering, wispy breaths and kisses. Curving my hand around his neck, I forced him closer to deepen the kiss, then ran my hand over his shoulder and down his side, feeling him shudder under the light touch. I let it rest on his hip, stroking his jutting hip bone with my thumb before moving it through his wiry curls to his cock. The second his hips thrust forward, I pushed myself upright and placed his head in my lap. Sweeping the hair from his eyes, I gazed at him, at his gorgeous, trusting face and eyes so blue and full of us. When I pumped his cock, he whimpered and lifted his hips.

I wasn't sure he knew how beautiful that simple action was. How many muscles and nerves had to speak to each other, how the brain had to tell his hips to seek the friction his entire body desired. The surging arousal went through him, reaching his toes that curled and his eyes that fought to stay open. It was an instinct to him, something that felt amazing and incredible and wanton, and yet, it was a miracle of the human body to respond and move like that.

His eagerness, the shameless want on his face, reminded me of the first time I'd given him head. God, I'd been so fucking nervous.

My parents had gone out for dinner and while Alice was roaming around the house somewhere, Jasper and I were mostly alone. His long body had been stretched out on the bed next to my own as we made out. Our tee shirts had been shed in a mass of groping hands and tangled limbs. His sandals made a thud when they landed on the floor as he climbed on top of me, pressing me into the mattress. It'd only been two weeks since our first kiss, less than that since our first date, and I was still trying to understand how the flat planes of his body made my heart race and cock hard. When he moved his lips down my jaw, I forgot all about the why he turned me on and just let myself enjoy how he made me feel. Dragging my nails down his back, I deepened the kiss and thrust up. Rolling his hips, he rubbed our contained erections together and I moaned into the kiss. He made me feel amazing, more than amazing. So much better than I'd ever felt with Bella, and I while I loved kissing his full lips and feeling his hands on me, I was ready to give him more than the hand jobs we'd been sharing several times a day.

Breaking the kiss, I looked up at his flushed face. His hips never stopped moving as he stared down at me through the waves that had fallen in front of his face. "I want to suck you off."

His eyes widened, and then his gaze dropped to my lips as he shook his head no. Brushing the curls out of his face, I forced his eyes back to mine.

"You don't have to…"

"I know, I want to." And I did, but I was nervous as hell about it.

Biting his lip, he pushed off me, letting me up. I scrambled off the bed and stood in front of him, my own hard on straining against my underwear. "Are you sure?" he said as he sat on the edge of my bed palming his ejection in his shorts.

Unsure, I nodded. "Yes."

I kneeled in front of him, putting my hands on his thighs and parting them to make room to move between then. Then I glanced at my door. It was closed, but with no lock anyone could walk in and catch me with Jasper's dick in my mouth. Quickly, I stood and held out my hand.

"I don't want to get caught," I said as he took my hand and I led him to the door. Turning him, I placed him in front of it, making sure his back was against it before I kissed him. His hand wrapped around my head as he tilted it to plunge his tongue into my mouth. He tasted so fucking good.

I ground my hips into his, our bare chests fused together, until we were both whimpering. Tearing my lips from his, I kissed down his neck and chest and abs until I was on my knees in front of him. I put my hands on the button of his khaki shorts and looked up at him. He captured me in a rapt gaze as I slipped the button through the loop and lowered the zipper. I knew I was blushing, I could feel the heat on my face, but I couldn't look away. Hooking my fingers into his briefs, I pulled them down, along with his shorts, until they were twisted around his knees. I'd held Jasper's cock in my hands many times, but when it was level with my mouth, it seemed much larger. As nervous as I was, there was no way I was backing out. My desire to taste him, to feel him filling me, far outweighed any anxiousness or embarrassment I had. The way he looked down at me, so full of want and need for me, and only me, was erotic. Holding the base of his cock in my fist, I darted my tongue out and flicked it over the head.

It was the softest thing I'd ever felt, and then the hint of salt and musk coated my tongue and I wanted more. Moving my hand to expose more of him, I watched him as I licked along the vein running underneath his entire length, then traced the ridge of the head and lapped down the side, earning a loud groan from him. I'd briefly forgotten how loud he was. More of his taste and scent filled me with something I'd never realized I was missing until I'd met Jasper. My heart pounded not only because I was horny as hell, but because I was making him tremble and look at me with a mixture of adoration and arousal. I'd never felt like that with Bella, it had been nothing more than going through the motions because it was what I thought I was supposed to do.

"Please, Edward, please suck me. I wanna feel it…" he begged in a deep, raspy voice.

Unable to deny him anything since we'd met, I put one hand on his hip and parted my lips. As soon as I leaned forward, his hands were locked behind my head as he thrust into my mouth.

"I'm sorry," he whimpered apologetically, but didn't stop thrusting. "Feels so fucking hot…wet…oh my God I'm…"

The rough of my tongue ran along the bottom of his cock as he snapped his hips. His taste was different than anything I'd ever had, but so familiar and right at the same time. Jasper usually came pretty fast when we gave each other handjobs, and I knew he probably wouldn't last long, but I was still surprised when I felt his cock already pulsing inside me. Unsure of what I was doing, or even if I was doing it right, I swallowed around him, and he fell into the abyss.

"Coming," he grunted, holding my head still. Even if I had wanted to pull away, I couldn't. Jasper filled my mouth with warm, salty, thick cum and I had no fucking idea what do with it. I tried forcing it down my throat around his cock, but there was too much, he was too big, and I ended up choking. Some of his cum slid down my throat when he forced himself deeper, the rest spilled out around his cock, and dribbled down my chin. His chest heaved and regret filled his eyes as he pulled himself from my mouth, still semi-hard. Long fingers were still threading through my hair when I reached up and wiped his cum off my chin.

Our eyes never left each other the entire time.

"Edward, I'm sor—"

Before he could finish, I was standing and kissing him hard, tongue fucking his mouth as he had mine. I was overwhelmed with what we'd just done, the line I'd crossed that only a few months earlier I hadn't even known existed. When he moaned, I knew he tasted himself on my tongue, and it only made me harder. Gasping, I broke the kiss.

"Did it feel okay?"

"Baby, it was the most amazing thing I've ever felt…for about ten seconds," he chuckled embarrassedly and blushed.

"More like twenty," I teased before kissing him again. "Now about this problem I have…" I jerked my hips toward him, "how about you give me a hand?"

Reaching between us, he yanked my shorts down and did just as I asked.

"Love, remember the first blowjob I gave you?" I asked as he looked up at me with the same look he had in my bedroom a few years before.

"I came in about thirty seconds."

"Not sure you even lasted that long," I laughed. His body, so eager and willing to come again, squirmed in my lap. "Want me to make you come again? I love how shameless you are, how you just lie here letting me jerk you off."

With a nod of his head, I knew what he wanted. He wanted me to tell him about the blowjob. So I did. In a husky voice, I told him how nervous I'd been, how hot he was and how much I'd wanted him. With each word, his body hummed with excitement and impatience. Whenever I paused, he pleaded for more, more words, more touch. Fisting his cock, I pumped steadily. It was a practiced stroke, after two years together, I knew exactly how he liked it, and could have gotten him off much faster, but instead, I taunted his sleek body. The corner of his lips curled up in concentration as he tried to hold off his orgasm. When it seemed he would explode from the maddeningly leisurely pace, I bent over and got as close to him as I could.

"Come for me now, show me how hard you can come, my…fiancé," I whispered.

In the end, it hadn't been my hand in his hair or even on his cock that had pushed him over the edge, it'd been just one word.

Fiancé.

His head and shoulders lifted as his abs flexed. Grunts of pleasure fell from his lips right before the first steam of cum splashed onto his tanned flesh. I milked him until he was empty, watching in awe as I did every time his body responded to me to effortlessly.

And just like his first blowjob, our eyes never left each other.

I didn't stop until he wrapped his fingers around my wrist. "Had enough?"

"Never enough, but need a few minutes," he panted. Jasper might come quick, but he had zero recovery time.

"I'll never get tired of seeing you come."

"Good thing, because I plan on doing it…a lot."

Then he pulled me downward, meeting me halfway with fiery kiss that last for a long minutes. My fingertips smeared his cum around his abs muscles, and had long cooled by the time I lifted my head and realized just how late it was. He whined when I told him we should leave, and frowned when I reminded him of the homework I was sure he hadn't done yet. He said he wanted to stay, that it was perfect.

I wanted to stay too, I wanted everything he did, and hoped we would have it much sooner than he thought. With a final pout, he rolled off me and began to pack up.

The sun was behind the trees by the time he lifted me into my chair. When my nose was close to his neck, I could smell the sex on him, the potent musk scent that would be easily recognized.

"We smell like cum. They're going to smell it on us when we get home."

"I don't care," he shrugged. I knew he didn't. He didn't worry about getting caught for himself, he worried about it for me. He suddenly seemed distant, as if the thought of going home was a burden on him, and I wondered what he was so worried about, but then he flashed me a smile and all my worries faded. The meadow was our sanctuary from the world, school, our families, everything. It was where he and I could just be ourselves, leave everyone else and everything behind us and focus on only each other. That would never change.

"Ready, baby?" he asked, holding out his hand.

I wasn't anymore ready to face the world than he was, but it was unavoidable. Reaching up, I took his hand with my gloved one and pushed with one other until I needed both. I didn't follow him down the trail, he walked right next to me, kicking rocks and sticks out of the way for me. He was quiet most of the way, probably dreading going home more and more with each step. Keeping my eyes on the uneven path in front of me, I resisted the urge to reach out for him, to tell him whatever he was worried about would work out. The thought made me smile. It wasn't long ago he had been telling me the exact same thing.

We reached his truck, having barely spoken on the way down the mountain, and he tossed his bag and cooler in the back before helping me. By the time he was buckled up, my hand was already on his thigh and my head on his shoulder. Before I could even blink, we were pulling into my driveway and Jasper was nudging me as he unbuckled to get out. He set me into my chair, kissing my temple before straightening. I pushed my chair backward and he followed me. Putting a hand up, I stopped him, telling him to go home and do his homework. When he stuck out his lower lip, I smiled, but kept my resolve.

"Fine," he growled, kissing my forehead. "Thank you for today, thank you for letting me suck you again. I love you."

Didn't he know it should be me thanking him? He'd asked me to marry him, he still wanted me. After all I'd put us through, even with the burdened future I was giving him, he wanted me. "Mmm, welcome. I love you too."

"I'll call you later."

"After your homework is done," I reminded him as I headed toward the ramp.

"Yeah, yeah. Be safe, baby."

"See ya soon, love."

I reached the door and opened it, glancing over my shoulder to find Jasper in the truck waiting for me. After giving him one last wave, I closed the door and listened to the truck back out of the driveway. Already missing him, my heart fluttered.

"Have a good time at Jasper's?" my father asked from behind me, scaring the shit out of me.

I didn't know where it came from, but something in me stirred, a desire to tell him how incredible and beautiful and loving my day had been, and that his son, his crippled son who had no future, suddenly had one because he was engaged to the most perfect boy ever.

Dad, Jasper and I are engaged.

Those words sat on the tip of my tongue, just ready to burst from me and change my life forever, change how my father looked at me. It seemed like minutes passed before I finally spoke.

"Umm…yeah, it was fun."

"Good. Emmett called, he said he'll be by earlier than scheduled tomorrow and your session might run long."

"Okay, thanks. Where's mom?" I looked anywhere but his eyes, afraid of the knowing I might find in them.

"She went over to her sister's but left some food for you in the fridge if you're hungry."

"Okay." Remembering I probably smelled like Jasper, and his cum, I pushed my chair backwards. "I'm gonna shower, then do some homework," I mumbled guiltily before turning and going to my room.

Closing my door, I tossed my bag onto the floor and then transferred to my bed to strip before taking a shower. With each piece of clothing I removed, the more I could smell Jasper all over me, I was coated with his scent, and I didn't want to wash him off. After moving back to my chair and grabbing a towel to cover up with, I crossed the hall to the bathroom and closed the door before pushing my chair into the stall. Using my feet for balance, I shifted to the shower chair and pushed my wheelchair back so it wouldn't get wet. Turning on the shower, I let it spray down on me, regretting each drop that rinsed Jasper off me.

My fiancé.

I'd gone to the meadow nervous about getting a blowjob and I came home with a fiancé. The more I thought about him, the more I smiled. Jasper's essence ran through me, not just on my skin, and I realized it was going to take more the soap and water to wash Jasper off me. I washed my dick and sac, remembering what it'd been like to watch Jasper suck me, his lips once again wrapped around me. I had been able to get hard for him, because of him. It seemed even though I was broken, my body still responded to his like no other.

I turned off the water and rubbed a towel over me before moving back to my chair and using a catheter. Back in my room, I changed into some pajamas and a tee shirt. Deciding to take my dad's offer of food, I went to the kitchen and opened the fridge, cringing when I saw the leftover pork chops. Instead, I grabbed peanut butter and Fluff, smiling as I smeared it on the bread. It certainly took longer than it would have before, but I was able to make my own sandwiches, and even clean up after.

"See ya in the morning, Dad," I called out as I rolled out of the kitchen and down the hallway.

I set my food on the table and transferred to my bed. Clicking on my TV, I booted up my laptop and went to YouTube and searched for videos to prepare me for the next day. Emmett had finally agreed to let me try the parallel bars. I hadn't told Jasper because I knew he would want to come over, and I didn't want him there.

I didn't want him there because I didn't want him to see me fail.

I couldn't handle seeing a look of disappointment in his eyes when I wasn't able to move or stand. Emmett had warned me how difficult it was going to be, but I'd insisted on trying until he finally gave in. Like Jasper, I should have been doing homework, but I watched a few videos instead. Some of them made it look easy, others were crying out with the sheer effort it took. Nervous, I closed the browser and went to a forum for SCI teenagers I'd found. Skimming the new topics, I stopped when I saw 'miracle cure for SCI'. Curious, I clicked on the thread and read through the posts the members had made to the posting. I saw several mentions to stem cell research and shark cartilage, and some guy in China. Making sure my door was closed, I clicked on a link someone provided and it took me to a site about Dr. Hongyun Huang, a doctor in Beijing who used cells from the inside of aborted fetuses' noses and injected them into the spinal cord. Biting my lip, I read about the treatment, how he discovered it, and who it had worked for.

Was it possible? Was there really someone out there who could help people like me?

I found articles and sites on clinical trials, all promising at least partial recovery. Maybe it would work for me, I deserved a miracle, didn't I? I was a good kid, did my homework, respected my parents, didn't steal, cheat, drink, or do drugs. My practical mind let my imagination and hope take over. I knew it was stupid to even entertain the idea a cure existed, but when faced with the rest of my life in a chair looking up at people, dependant on others, a miracle wasn't so hard to believe in anymore. After bookmarking a few sites, I closed my computer, and opened my books for homework. Miracle cures or not, I still had physics to do. But each word I saw on the page, each problem I tried to solve, all led me back to the same place.

Jasper had asked me to marry him and I'd said yes.

I didn't have some flashy ring to show everyone like a girl would, in fact no one would ever know, but Jasper and I knew. The next morning I was going to get up and go to school engaged to the boy I loved.

The second I slammed my book closed, "Eye of the Tiger" played on my phone. Instantly, I smiled and picked it up. "Hey, get your homework done?"

"Yep. I've got some reading left, but fuck it, I'm too tired."

"Me too," I yawned.

"Hey, Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for saying yes," he whispered.

"Thanks for asking me," I returned softly.

"Fiancé. Have to admit, it sounds hot, doesn't it?"

"Not as hot hearing my fiancé is naked in bed."

"I am in bed but not quite naked."

"Want a bedtime story?"

"Yeah."

I could hear him moving around, and I did the same, shoving my books to the other side of my bed, I dragged my body up to my pillows and rolled onto my back. Picking up the remote, I turned off my TV, letting the darkness of the room settle over me. Instinctively, I glanced at the corner, relieved when I saw it empty of anything other than my medical supplies.

"Okay, I'm ready," he announced.

"A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away there were these two boys who were madly in love…" I began, smiling when I heard him giggle. Before even the second line, my eyes were drifting closed. "One was tall with hair every shade of blond. This boy was a hero to his lover, and saved him every day in the smallest of ways without ever even knowing it."

I continued until I knew he was asleep, and then I skipped to the end. "And they lived happily ever after," I murmured to myself before I let the phone rest against me. "Love you, my fiancé."

No sweeter words were ever spoken.

"**~~**"

I was already nervous about PT when Jasper picked me up the next day, but smiled when he called me his fiancé. Even though I was tired from the meadow, I had been plagued with weird dreams and hadn't slept well. I missed Jasper's warm body beside mine, which was going to make telling him not to come over even harder. But I had tom, I didn't want him there, I couldn't fail with him watching.

When he pulled into the parking lot, I moved over in my seat and waited for him to get my chair.

After months of performing it, the routine was quick. In the beginning it had taken a few minutes and was awkward, but now he could get chair and me in it in less than a minute.

Maybe someday he wouldn't have to.

I spun the chair around to go inside and saw Bella leaning against the back of her old red truck. As soon as our eyes met, she came jogging over, stumbling only once. "What did you guys do yesterday?"

"What makes you think we were together?" Jasper snapped, glaring at her. After their little moment outside Jasper's truck on Saturday, I'd thought maybe they would get along better, but apparently I was wrong.

She shrugged, falling in step with him but on the other side of me. "Because you guys are always together."

It was a reasonable assumption, and probably one made by a lot more kids her.

"We worked on a project," Jasper answered, the lie falling from his lips as easily as it did mine. It was something we were both used to. Unlike with my dad, I didn't have the urge to tell Bella about being engaged. For a while, I wanted it to remain secret, one I treasured.

"Oh fun," she chuckled sarcastically. "I had to work."

Jasper didn't answer her, but I saw him glance at her once more before holding the door open for both of us. After Bella walked through ahead of me, Jasper looked down at me and winked.

I sighed.

He was going to be pissed when I told him not to come over.

Through my morning classes, I debated on how to tell him. It took a lot to make Jasper mad, but after already being apart two nights in a row, he wasn't going to like being told to stay away for a third. I felt guilty every time he looked at me in English, his eyes sliding over to me while he faced forward. It wasn't until he met me after music that I had the courage to tell him.

"Hey," he grinned as he neared me. As worried as I was, I smiled at the way he sauntered down the hall like we were the only two kids there.

"Hey," I greeted and then rolled next to him. "I was thinking in class."

"Good as place as any to think."

"And I don't think you should come over today," I blurted. When a freshman slammed into him and he snarled at the kid, I realized he'd stopped.

"Why?"

"Because I've got PT, and it's been a few days, so it will be a long session. I've got a shitload of homework, and I know you do too. I should practice on a few pieces on the piano too, my first lesson is in a two weeks," I babbled the excuses. They were all true, it was just they normally wouldn't be reasons enough to prevent Jasper from coming over. We could do homework together, and he never minded listening to me play the piano. Before he could see the worry settle in my eyes, I pushed ahead of him.

"I don't care about fucking homework. As for PT, I can watch or do homework or something," he growled beside me.

"I'll be really tired, Jas, and regardless of what you say, I know you're tired too. It's just better this way," I reasoned.

"Fuck, no it's not. Baby," his voice softened apologetically, "we're kind of on borrowed time here. I don't want to spend a second, much less a night, away from you. This will make three nights in a row."

"I know you don't, neither do I, but it will give us a chance to get some stuff done, and if PT runs late, you won't be waiting for me," I repeated firmly. Looking up at him, seeing the confused expression on his face, I wanted nothing more than say okay, and have him over to console me when I failed.

"Fine," he snapped. Within a few strides, he'd pulled away from me and I was pushing my chair to even keep him in my sight. He was more hurt than mad, he thought I didn't want to spend time with him, and he had no idea why. Guilt already started to grow inside me.

We entered the cafeteria and he went directly into line, assuming I was behind him. He grabbed a tray and started tossing stuff on it. The lunch ladies flinched when he glared at them, bitching about how it'd been five months and they still didn't have a way for me to go through the line alone. Following at a safe distance, I went to the table, feeling bad when he slammed the tray down on the table and Angela jumped.

"Everything okay?" she asked.

"Fine," he answered gruffly.

Everything was far from fine. My boy was hurt, and I felt bad, but the lunch room wasn't the place to get into it with him. I took my food off the tray and set it in front of me. Bella arrived, sitting next to Mike and answering him when he asked how the basketball game had gone. I barely heard a word she said, my attention was on the mess of blond hair tumbling in front of the face I adored as he hung his head low and stared at his food, occasionally, tossing Bella a hard look. Newton asked a few questions about the game, and I answered him quietly. My stomach twisted when I heard Jasper sigh and push his plate of untouched food away. His eyes never met mine, but I knew what I would find in them if they did.

When the bell rang, he stood and went to empty the tray. His entire body spoke of defeat and weariness. Jasper and I didn't fight often, barely at all, and while we weren't exactly fighting, there was an undeniable tension between us.

"Everything okay with Jasper?" Bella asked me while we waited for him.

"Sure," I lied.

He returned and I looked up at him, not surprised when he averted his eyes quickly. With a heavy sigh, I gripped the handrims and pushed the chair forward. I could hear them talking quietly behind me, and from the tone of us voice, assumed Jasper was bitching at Bella for something. Then I heard her light footsteps and she was next to me, giving me a smile as we headed into the gym. After everyone else was changed, we went outside and played baseball. I tried to give Jasper the space he needed, and barely glanced his way. Perhaps I should have just let him come over, or told him to come over extra late, but I didn't know how long PT would run.

After class, Jasper headed for the locker room to change for track practice. Instead of following him inside and talking to him while he changed, I sat by the exit, waiting for him to realize I wasn't behind him. When he did, he looked longingly down the hallway at me. His face was contorted into pain and worry. I wanted to race over to him, to hold him and tell him it wasn't what he thought, but when a veil of anger clouded his eyes, I decided to wait. I could explain it all later on the phone. He would understand. I gave him a reassuring nod, and then turned to head out the door.

My mother was waiting in the car and I opened the passenger door, moving to the seat while she got out and put the chair into the trunk. She asked how school was and I grumbled a reply.

"Where' Alice?"

"She's staying after, I have to pick her later."

Keeping my eyes out the window, I clenched my hands on my lap and wished Jasper was next to me. Chatting all the way, my mother asked me a few questions, but I wasn't sure if I replied to any or not. My body was in the car, but my mind and heart were running around the track at school. She pulled into our driveway and I waited while she fumbled with my chair. She wasn't nearly as fast as Jasper was. When she went to grab my backpack from the floor of the car, I stopped her.

"I can get it," I snapped. Hurt, she looked at me, but took a step backward. Immediately, I felt like shit and turned away. "Sorry."

Tossing the bag on my lap, I rolled up the ramp and opened the door. I ignored her when she asked if I was hungry and went straight to my room.

"God fucking damn it!" I growled through clenched teeth and threw my bag on the floor with a loud thud. Lifting my fisted hands, I brought them down onto my legs. "Why can't you fucking work!"

I hit myself over and over, feeling nothing each time and only frustrating myself even more. My eyes darted around my room, looking for something else to hit, something that would give me more satisfaction. Spotting the catheter kits in the corner, I pushed my chair toward them, bumping into the corner of my bed and jamming my hand.

"FUCK!" I screamed. Forgetting the catheters, I began punching my mattress, doing nothing but making it bounce each time I pounded it with both hands as a stream of obscenities flew from my mouth. "Fuck you, Jasper. Fuck you for being mad at me, fucking asshole. It's not my fucking fault. God damn you. You don't have any fucking idea how much I want you here right now, how much I need your support, but I can't…I just can't."

My anger and frustration was irrational, and if I'd stopped to think about it, I would have realized it, but it coursed through me, fueling me, enraging me. My chest was heaving and I was sweaty.

"Might want to save some of that energy, you're going to need it," a deep voice said from my doorway. Startled, I spun my chair around and looked at Emmett.

"How long have you been there?" I snapped.

"Long enough to know you're not in a good mood," he replied with an arched brow. "Put the anger to good use, get changed, and let's do this."

Nodding, I waited until he closed the door before dropping my head back and closing my eyes. A sinking feeling enveloped my heart, but I didn't have time to dwell, Emmett was waiting for me. As quickly as I could, I changed into a pair of sweatpants and joined him in the dining room. The music was already on and Emmett was sitting on the bench digging through his bag. I noticed some new equipment in the corner and my heart began to race, but for a totally different reason than anger.

I was afraid.

"Why don't you warm up with shoulder presses, but only do one set of ten. By the time we're done today, your arms will be begging for relief."

Following his orders, I moved to the shoulder press, backing the chair in before putting on my gloves and adjusted the bar. Exhaling, I lifted it, and then pressed it in the air ten quick times before setting it back down.

"Any more spasms?" he asked and I shook my head. "Good. I was thinking we could reduce PT to twice a week, but let's see how today goes first."

"Okay."

"Bicep curls," Emmett instructed. Picking up a twenty pound dumbbell from the rack, I put my elbow on my knee and curled my hand up toward me. My eyes kept wandering to the new equipment of straps and metal in the corner that resembled some sort of old torture device. "How was your weekend?" Emmett asked, straddling the bench.

"Good, yours?"

"Fantastic. This sweet little nurse at work finally went out with me." He got up and went to the door, glancing out before closing it tight and returning to the bench. Then he leaned toward me and lowered his voice. "I got laid. Been too fucking long," he groaned. "How about you, get any action this weekend?"

Yes.

"Yeah, right. Like this?" I glanced to my legs.

He shrugged. "Remember what I told you. Sex is just different for you now, doesn't mean it can't be done. Have you touched yourself or had your…girlfriend do it to see if you can get hard? Some guys use Viagra to get—"

"I can get hard," I interrupted, blushing as I switched arms.

"With stimulation?" Sometimes he spoke like a teenager, and other times the nurse in him came out.

Embarrassed, I nodded. "That's great. Were you able to keep an erection?"

"Umm, yeah. Until I stopped… ya know. Then it took a few minutes to go away."

He winked. "Oh, I know. Trust me, Edward, I'm a professional at self love. Though I hope after this weekend, I will have do it less." I dropped the weight onto the rack and waited for his next instruction. "Ten pull downs." Reaching up, I grabbed the pulley and lowered it to my waist. "Did you ejaculate?"

My blush deepened and I shook my head. Then I quickly gathered some courage and asked quietly, "Can I?"

"Possibly. Some don't ever recover the ability, others can without too many problems, others do but have complications. It depends on your location and severity of your injury"

"Complications?"

"The semen might back up into your bladder," he explained. "It's not life threatening or anything, but it can cause a few issues that would need treatment. You haven't come at all?"

I'd never a had a more embarrassing conversation, but other than Jasper, I had no one to talk to about that kind of stuff, and I wanted to take advantage of Emmett's medical knowledge. "It kinda felt like I did, like the contractions and hazy feeling, but nothing came out."

"Maybe not enough stimulation," he chuckled. "Seriously though, keep trying, you're injury is low, but there's hope." I kept lifting the entire time, trying to keep my eyes away from his while we discussed the possibility of me being able to come. Then he asked something I wasn't expecting. "So want to tell me who you were so angry at?"

"No one," I grunted as I pulled on the weights.

"Didn't sound like no one. Sounded like you're pretty pissed at Jasper."

I let go of the bar and the weights slammed down with a loud crack. Emmett had heard me.

He knew.

My eyes closed and my chin fell to my chest.

"Edward, can I ask you something? I mean, you can tell me it's none of my business and to shut the fuck up, I'll understand." His voice was soft and accepting. Opening my eyes, I nodded, but refused to look at him as I gripped the bar and pulled it down again. "Is Jasper just your friend?"

"What do you mean?" I tried to concentrate on the weights, but my heart began pounding so hard it hurt, and I became slightly lightheaded.

"Is he more than your friend? Like is he your boyfriend?" he asked casually.

My heart stopped pounding and ended up in my throat. I gasped for breath. "Boyfriend?" I squeaked out as I pulled the weights down. It wasn't a heavy amount, and it should have been easy for me, but my body was suddenly weak with nerves.

"I mean, it's totally cool either way. I was just curious because…well, you seemed pretty pissed at him, and guys usually don't get that pissed at their friends. Not like that anyway." When I didn't answer he continued with his theories. "Then there's the way you smile when he's mentioned, and even though you're obviously mad at him, as soon as I said his name, you visibly relaxed. There was the day he was here sick, he carried you up a fucking mountain and is running a race for you. Jasper seems like a pretty great kid. I don't know him well, but I've heard Peri talk about him." He was silent for a long moment, letting his words sink in. "So is he…your boyfriend?"

It all came down to one little word. A simple 'yes' would reveal to Emmett I was gay. That Jasper was gay. That we were a couple. Together. Boyfriends. In love.

A 'no' would keep us in the closet, it would continue to hide what Jasper and I were, what he truly meant to me. Denying what Jasper and I were by not purposely outing ourselves to our parents or friends was one thing, directly lying when asked was different. Alice hadn't asked, she had caught us, lying to her hadn't been an option. There was no explaining the intimate position Jasper and I had been in when she found us. But Emmett hadn't caught us, he just suspected. He was a friend, and I didn't want to lie to him, but I was afraid of someone else finding out.

"Can I ask you something first?" I slowly released the weights, keeping my eyes trained on the floor in front of me.

"Sure."

"You're my physical therapist, right? So do we have doctor-patient confidentiality?"

"Sometimes I forget you're the son of a doc. PTs don't technically have binding confidentiality legally like you do with a doctor, but I can assure you, Edward, anything you tell me stays between us."

I felt his gaze on me as I took a deep breath and finally brought my eyes to his. "Yes," I whispered, barely aloud.

"Yes?"

I licked my lips nervously, then said something I'd been longing to admit to someone for almost two years. "Jasper's my boyfriend," I confessed even quieter than before. "We're in love."

Engaged.

"I won't say anything, Edward," he promised. "This is between you and me."

"Thanks," I replied, trying to smile but settling on gnawing on my lip.

"It's no one's business anyway, including mine, but it's helpful to know."

"Why?"

He shrugged and stood up. "I know he'll take care of you. Like carrying you places you can't go and making sure you're drinking and eating enough. Plus, it's good for you. To have someone you can confide in about all kinds of shit." When I didn't respond, he asked, "Hey, you okay?"

"You're not freaked out?"

"Nah," he scoffed, "my older brother is gay. It's not the team I bat for, but that doesn't mean it's the wrong team."

"Your brother is gay?"

"Yep. He and his boyfriend live in Seattle. He's an interior designer." He stood up and moved to me, putting his hand on my shoulder. "This doesn't change anything between us. Just don't let my awesome ass distract you, okay?"

I laughed and shook my head. "No worries there."

He frowned and then looked over his shoulder to his ass. "What do you mean? I have a hot ass." My silence worried him. "Don't I? I do, right?"

I smiled. "Totally."

"I thought so," he grinned. "Okay, you ready to do this, Cullen?"

Exhaling a breath I think I'd been holding since he'd said the word 'boyfriend', I nodded. I couldn't believe I'd just come out to someone, Emmett of all people. Before I had time to think about the consequences, Emmett was picking up the torture devices from the corner and bringing them over to the bench.

"Come here."

I rolled over to him as he sat on the bench in front of me. Picking up a brace, he put it on his lap. "These are knee-ankle-foot orthosis, or KAFOs for short." Showing me the bottom, he said, "This part goes under your foot, this here," he tapped a strap in the middle, "goes around your calf, and this one goes around your thigh. They're lighter than they look," he said, handing one to me.

The foot part resembled a sandal, flat on the bottom with a crisscross strap along the top. The metal holding it all together was light, like titanium or aluminum. The other straps were leather and Velcro. I touched it all, not believing they were going to help me.

"How can they support my weight if they're so light?"

"Well, your upper body is going to support your weight too. These will support your legs, keep them straight."

"What this lever here?" I asked, pointing to a strap with a ring on the end.

"A release. These KAFOs are made to be put on while you're in your chair, then you stand and the brace locks, but if you pull the release, it unlocks and you can sit down. This is a pretty standard one, but if you decide to get some, you can have them custom made to fit your legs perfectly. They even mold it to your calf."

I raised a brow. "Are they expensive?"

"This pair is about $1,700."

"Holy shit," I mumbled.

"When you see what they do, you'll understand. Ready?"

"Yes." I was more than ready.

He kneeled in front of me. Taking my left leg, he lifted it from the chair and straightened it, putting my foot on his knee. Then he undid the straps on the brace and slid it behind my leg. I watched as he maneuvered my leg into it, strapping in my foot first, then my calf and finally my thigh. The brace wasn't locked, so he was able to bend my leg at the knee to set it back down. While he put the other brace on my right leg, I reached down and ran my hands along my bracketed leg.

I looked like Forest Gump.

Run, Edward, run!

"What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing," I answered, shaking my head.

He finished strapping in my right leg and stood up. "I should be doing this with another person, so I'm going to need you to help me out, okay? Pull up to the end of the bars and then reach up and grip them as tight as you can. Use your feet just like you do when you transfer from the chair to your bed. I'm going to be next to you, help you upright, then push your chair away so I can move behind you, understand?"

"Got it."

Bending down, I wrapped my hand around the back of my calf and lifted my braced foot off the rest and let it fall to the carpeted floor, repeating the action with my other one. Once both feet were on the floor, I took a deep breath and reached up for the parallel bars, which were about level with my head when I was sitting. I glanced at the door. I didn't want Jasper to see me fail, but I would have done just about anything to have him there with me right then.

Emmett was right beside me, his hands hovering inches from me in case he needed to grab me. Using the upper body strength I'd been working on for the past five months, pulled myself upright. There was an immediate flurry of motion as Emmett kicked the wheelchair out of the way and quickly moved behind me.

"You did it!"

It was a good thing he was there because I swayed backwards into him. "Shit," I cried out, scared I was going to fall over.

He wrapped an arm around my waist and put the other on the bar behind my right hand. His lips were right at my ear. "I've got you. You won't fall, but you're off balance. You're upper body is too far back. I need you to move your hands in more and lean toward them."

Nodding, I did as he told me and slid my hand on the bars a few inches, shifting my weight forward.

"Good. Let's just stay like this for a few seconds, let you catch your breath."

I didn't even realize I was out of breath until he said it. Exhaling slowly, I tried to regain control. My arms were already straining, veins bulged from my forearms and hands as I gripped the bars tighter. "It's really hard."

"Now you know why we do so much strength training first. I won't have you up here more than a minute."

I still felt off balance, but then I remembered it'd been five months since I'd been upright.

Oh my God.

I was standing.

Fucking standing.

It was messy and uneven and I looked like Robocop, but I was standing. An uncontrolled sob of emotion escaped me and I tilted backwards again.

"Whoa, you okay?" Emmett asked and I nodded.

"Yeah," I sniffed as I readjusted my hands.

"Are you ready to sit back down?"

Before I could answer him, the door swung open and while my head turned toward the door, Emmett's attention remained on me. I was worried it was my dad. I hadn't told him or my mother what I was planning on doing, and knew they would be upset I hadn't consulted them first. But it wasn't either of them.

It was Jasper.

I heard his gasp even above the music playing. His jaw dropped and he blinked incredulously a few times, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. There was no anger in his eyes when they met mine, instead I saw confusion and surprise and a whole lot of love. I wanted to speak, but I was already out of breath again.

"Oh good," Emmett said, "reinforcements. Close the door and come here, Jasper." Not hesitating, Jasper slid his bag down his arm to the floor and in a few long strides was at Emmett's side. "Get in front of him and hold his hips for me."

Still dressed in his track clothes, Jasper nodded and ducked under the bars and kneeled in front of me. Following Emmett's instructions, Jasper placed his hands on my hips and I immediately felt steadier.

"Better?" Emmett asked me once Jasper was in place.

"Yeah, much." I dared to glance down at Jasper. He was staring up at me, there was wonder in his wide eyes, but they sparkled with pride. He was proud of me. Giving me a half smile, he waited for further instruction from Emmett.

"Jas, I'm going to set him down, let him rest for a minute and then we can try again. Can you stand and hold him up while I get the chair?"

"Yes," Jasper replied, standing. Stepping closer, he replaced Emmett's arm around my middle with his own, almost like we were dancing.

For the first time in months, I didn't have to look up at Jasper. His incredible blue eyes were level with mine, and he was so close his breaths were warming my face. Suddenly the strain on my body didn't matter, the ache in my arms and core, all I wanted to do was breach the few inches separating us and kiss him. I wanted to kiss him standing. Like we used to.

Emmett moved swiftly and the chair was once again behind me. "Edward, I'm going to pull the release on your left leg, it will collapse. Just let it and fall backwards. I've got your chair and Jasper won't let you go. As soon as the back of your right knee hits the chair, it will release the brace. Got it?"

"Yep."

I heard a click and felt myself falling backwards, but I didn't. Jasper had a firm hold on me and he slowly eased me into the chair. Just like Emmett said, the right brace released and I was sitting down again, and panting for breath.

"I need a drink. You guys want anything?" Emmett offered.

"Dew."

"Water?" Emmett suggested, ignoring me.

"Sure."

"Me too," Jasper said, his eyes tracking Emmett as he left. As soon as the hulking figure was out the door, Jasper kneeled in front of me, his hands on my knees, he murmured, "Baby, why didn't you tell me?"

"I was afraid I wouldn't be able to do it," I confessed.

"This is why you didn't want me to come over, isn't it?"

I nodded, looking down at his hands. "I didn't want you to see me fail."

"Aw, baby," he sighed, cupping my cheek. "Even if you failed, I don't care, you know that. We're supposed to be all in, good or bad, remember?"

"I know," I sighed, "I just…I don't know, love, I just had to do it first. Then I thought I could surprise you."

"Edward, I'm sorry about today. I was upse—"

"We'll talk later," I promised him when I heard Emmett's footsteps clomping down the hall. The man could never sneak up on someone. Jasper hesitated before standing up and taking a step back.

"Knock, knock," Emmett warned as he entered and threw a water to Jasper, who deftly snagged it out of the air. Emmett approached and handed me mine. "Two minute break, then we do it again."

I unscrewed the top of the water bottle. "I didn't think it would be this hard."

"You're standing on legs you can't feel. You're balance is off, so you try to adjust and use your upper body to make up for it, but it's hard to judge too far forward or backward. It's not like you can put a foot behind you if you feel yourself falling. Add in the fact you weight about one-eighty and that's a lot of weight you're asking your arms and abs to support," he reasoned.

I took a long drink, glancing at Jasper to find him staring at me, still in shock.

"Gotta admit, hard or not," Emmett smiled, "it's pretty fucking cool."

Jasper choked and almost spewed his water over me as he coughed in response to Emmett. I laughed and recapped my water. "Yeah, it most definitely is pretty fucking cool."

Emmett put his water down and wiped the back of his arm across his mouth. "Ready, Jasper?"

"Yep." He recapped his bottle and set it down. "Do I get paid for this?" he teased. It wasn't like Jasper wouldn't do it all night for free, but it was nice to hear him banter with Emmett. It gave me hope he wasn't too pissed at me.

"I'll donate another fifty for the race," Emmett bartered.

"Deal," Jasper agreed. "What do you need me to do?"

Emmett explained the technique he'd used to get me standing to Jasper, only now he was going to try to get me to take a few steps. "He won't be able to do more than a few minutes before he'll be too tired, but let's see how it goes. He's going to lift himself up, once he does, I want your hands on his hips, I'll get him from behind."

"Okay, got it," Jasper said. Ducking under the bar again, he waited until I was ready. Placing my hands on the bars, I took a deep breath and looked at my hopeful boy. He gave me a slight nod and mouthed, "You can do it."

With a loud grunt, I pulled myself up, swaying even more than the first time. My arms were already burning when I slipped my hands forward a little to keep my weight even. I heard Emmett move the chair and then felt his firm chest against my back and his arm around my waist. I couldn't feel Jasper's hands but I knew he was holding my hips as tightly as I was the bar.

Once I was steady, Emmett spoke to Jasper. "I'm going to put my hands on his hips and my legs against his. I need you stand up and keep him from falling forward, and when I push one leg forward, adjust his weight. Understand?"

"Yes," Jasper nodded. Immediately he stood, his hands still on my hips. Emmett slipped his arm from me and when I couldn't feel his hands anymore, I knew they were on my hips replacing Jasper's.

"It's been awhile since your hips have done this motion, so I'm going to help them. Eventually, you will be able to use your abs to swing or throw your leg forward," Emmett said behind me.

"Okay," I huffed.

"Here we go," Emmett said.

Then, as I watched in awe, my left leg moved forward. Rationally, I knew it was because Emmett was behind me, using his hands to swivel my hips and his left foot to push mine. But to see it move, even if it wasn't on its own, was amazing. Staring down at my feet I willed them to move. Maybe being on them again, maybe the motion, they would remember and do it on their own. Knitting my brows, I concentrated all my willpower and strength to my legs. While I watched, my right foot slid forward, the brace stuttering across the floor until it was even with my left.

I was panting for breath, sweat beaded on my forehead, and my arms ached more than when I pushed myself up a fucking a mountain. When I tilted to the side, Jasper was there to catch me, pushing me upright.

Emmett pushed my feet head three more steps, talking the entire time about what he was doing and asking if I was okay. I could see his foot behind mine, pushing mine forward a few inches at a time. Jasper remained extremely close, his eyes darting from my feet, to my hands, to my face, as he focused on following all the directions Emmett barked out. What we were doing wasn't without risk, and while Emmett was as strong as fucking bear, I wasn't light and if I fell, he'd have a hard time catching me. But with Jasper there, Emmett was able to concentrate on getting me to walk.

My sweaty hand slipped on the bar and my right side collapsed. Before I could even yell for help, Jasper's arm was around my waist hauling me back up. Once I was upright again, he leaned over the bar and grabbed a towel hanging on the weight equipment.

"Here, wipe your hands," he said, putting the towel on the bar. Jasper still supported me while I dried my hands and put them back in place. Releasing my waist, Jasper kept a hand on my side as he wiped the bar before tossing the towel to the floor.

Emmett whispered in my ear. "That's why it's good for me to know."

My eyes snapped to Jasper to see if he heard, but he was too focused to have noticed.

"Okay, Jasper, we're going to head back toward the chair. I need you do the same thing you did last time."

"Okay."

Excruciatingly slowly, Emmett maneuvered my body backwards by manually dragging my feet backward until I was almost at the end of the bars. I was thankful I was going to sit down and give my arms a rest.

"Grab him, Jasper. I'm going to get the chair."

As he had done before, Jasper pressed his body to mine and wrapped and arm around my middle, supporting almost all my weight because I was too tired to anymore. Awe swelled the love in his crystal eyes and I gave him a smile.

"Baby, I'm so proud of you," he murmured, barely aloud.

Overwhelmed by emotion and not caring we weren't alone, he curved his free hand around my neck, his long fingers threading my damp hair as he broke the tiny distance and brushed his lips across mine. The world faded away. There was no Emmett or cheesy 80's music playing. There was no ache in my arms or paralyzed legs. There was just my boy and me, standing eye to eye for the first time since New Year's Eve, and his soft lips on mine. It wasn't a long or deep kiss, in fact, I barely felt the sweep of his pink flesh along mine, but when we shivered in unison, there was no doubt we were kissing. The argument from earlier was forgotten, the frustration and hard glances were replaced by a tender touches and cherished gazes. Breaking the too brief kiss, he put his forehead to mine, his arm still wound tightly around me as he gazed with pride at his standing boy.

Behind me, Emmett cleared his throat. "We need to him in his chair before he collapses." If I hadn't already come out to Emmett, he would have most definitely figured it out.

Nodding, Jasper took a half step back, but kept his arm around me. "What do you need me to do?"

I smiled as Jasper's voice adopted the same tone as his mother and my father, clinical and official. He was already stepping into the shoes of his chosen career.

"Same as before," Emmett instructed. "On three. One, two, three."

Emmett released the left brace and my knee bent, sending me backwards. Just like he did before, Jasper lowered me into the chair, the right brace clicking as it also released and bent with my leg. I was heaving for breath, but I wasn't sure if it was from the effort of walking or the fact that Jasper had knowingly and willingly kissed me in front of someone.

How had he known I wouldn't freak out? Did he just not care or did he think I wouldn't mind? Did he suspect Emmett already knew?

I was exhausted. My entire upper body was sore, my abs hurt just to take a deep breath. Hanging my head, I took in shallow breaths.

"That's enough for today," Emmett announced.

"No," I said, jerking my head up. "I want to do it again."

I had to do it again.

I had to do it again, I had to stand face to face with Jasper again.

Emmett was behind me, but I knew he looked at Jasper because Jasper nodded question him silently. "Okay, one more time, then that's it. Drink some water." He picked up my water and handed it to me before going over the music. After pressing the skip button a few times, he stopped and looked at me with a wicked smirk. "YMCA" began to play and he lifted his arms above his head in the dance motions.

"Emmett," I growled.

"What? I thought you'd like this one," he chuckled as he lowered his arms and walked over. Jasper was still standing in between the bars, resting his hip against one as he looked between Emmett and me curiously.

"Don't be mad at Edward," Emmett said to Jasper. "I asked. He didn't just blurt it out or anything."

"Asked?"

"If you were my boyfriend," I murmured, looking at the floor.

"Oh," Jasper mumbled surprisingly, as if he hadn't just kissed me in front of Emmett. When he didn't speak again, I brought my eyes to his.

"Are you mad?"

"No, I'm just surprised."

Emmett snorted, "It's not like I wouldn't have figured it out when you laid one on him, kid."

Jasper blushed, the corners of his lips pulling up. "Sorry. Couldn't help it."

"Don't apologize on my account. Kiss him all you want as long as he does what he's supposed to do." Emmett drank some water before tossing it onto his bag. "Ready for more?"

"Yep," I said, although I wasn't sure I could do it again.

It was even harder than the last time. Jasper and Emmett had to support me more than before, but I stood again, and Emmett pushed my feet ahead a two steps. Jasper's hands never left me, but his concentration was on Emmett and following all his directions. I was gasping for breath by the time they sat me back in the chair. As I rested, drinking my water, Emmett showed Jasper how to take the braces off, explaining the adjustments that could be made on them. Jasper listened intently, asking a few questions and nodding as Emmett answered. Emmett removed the right brace, then watched as Jasper did the left. I watched his hands on my legs, letting them linger on me as he undid the straps and lifted my leg to get the brace off. Emmett stuffed them into a large bag he had and zipped it up.

"I need to give him a massage, if it's okay with Edward, I can show you how do it," Emmett offered to Jasper.

"It's okay with me," I replied, finishing my water. "As long as Jasper wants to."

"I do." He almost jumped up. "I've done research on it and seen videos, but it would be nice to see it in person."

That was my Jasper, thinking of the learning experience he was going to get and not the fact he might get hard doing it.

"You've done research on therapeutic massages?" Emmett asked, picking up his bag. "And here I thought you'd be like any other teenage boy and watch porn."

Before Jasper could answer, I spoke up, "He's going to college for PT or SCI research."

Emmett couldn't hold back his grin even he wanted to. "That's great. Where?"

"Oregon State," Jasper answered. I was sure Emmett missed it, but I heard the slight sadness in Jasper's voice.

"Great school. A few kids I went to high school with went there. Well, let's get this done," he said, opening the door and walking toward my room. I went to push the chair, wincing when the ache radiated up my arms, across my shoulders, down my chest and even to my abs.

"You okay?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah, just sore."

We followed Emmett into my room, where he set his bag on the floor. "Jasper and I are going to raid your kitchen while you undress. Call me when you're ready." Grabbing Jasper's arm, he dragged him out of the room.

When the door clicked closed, I transferred the bed, groaning at the dull pain my entire upper body was snared by. I couldn't believe after all the working out I did and all the muscle I'd gained, that standing and taking a few steps would exhaust me as much as it had. It took longer than usual for me to strip my clothes, letting them fall to the floor in a pile. To make Jasper feel more comfortable, I left my underwear on and grabbed the towel Emmett had left on my bed and laid it over my hips before rolling onto my stomach.

"I'm ready," I called out, listening for the sound of their footsteps. The door opened and I looked over my shoulder to see a tentative Jasper and grinning Emmett.

"We found sustenance," Emmett said, holding up a cookie.

"I think you eat more of my mom's baking than I do," I chuckled.

"Very funny," he said, moving to my right side. "Ready, Jasper?"

Jasper nodded, and after a long glance at him, I closed my eyes and laid my head on the bed. I heard them talking, but I was so sleepy they sounded far away. Then strong hands were on my arms and shoulders and back, kneading the tense, tired muscles with expert skill. There were smaller hands on me as well, more caring and softer, still unsure in their movement, but relaxing me more than the professional ones did. When I could no longer feel their comforting touch, I knew they'd moved below my waist, massaging the thinning muscles of my legs. The room was warm, the voices soothing, and the hands rubbed the ache from my body. I let myself drift away, floating on a cloud of accomplishment and love. My mind returned to Jasper walking in, how he'd come to me even though I'd told him to stay away, how his eyes filled with pride, how he helped Emmett.

How he'd kissed me in front of someone.

Groaning at the techniques they were using on me, I smiled to myself right before I fell asleep.

"Babe?" his voice was distant, but close. There was a hand in my hair, tenderly brushing it off my forehead. "Babe?"

I wanted to reply, open my eyes and take him in, but every part of me felt heavy. Then I was in the air, against a warm hardness that smelled of Jasper. Vaguely I felt the mattress return under me again, and my head lolled to the side where soft lips pressed to my temple.

"Love you," the wonderful voice whispered. A few minutes later, the bed dipped and the warmth coiled into my body, draping itself over me in a protective sleep.

"**~~**"

I was hot, and when I went to take a deep breath, my chest felt heavy. Then I realized there was satin skin under my fingers and moist, steady breaths washing over my bare chest. Strands of hair tickled my jaw line when I turned my head to the left, assuring me it wasn't a dream.

Jasper was there.

He'd come to me.

The fight at school, the way he walked away from me in the lunchroom, the way I'd left him after gym- none of it mattered.

He was there.

More importantly, he'd seen me stand.

By the time he lifted his head from my chest, I was smiling. He returned it, and after a glance to the door, kissed me. He deepened the kiss immediately, plunging his tongue between my lips to seek out mine. The second they met, I shuddered and angled my head to welcome him further. Lifting my other hand from the bed, barely feeling the ache, I buried my fingers into his hair, registering it was wet. My heart raced when my fingers tangled in his messy hair. Jasper moaned and lifted his head, breaking our kiss.

"You know what the best part about fighting with you is?" he murmured lazily as if my family wasn't right outside the door, probably cooking dinner or cleaning up.

"What?"

"The make-up sex," he grinned.

"But we're not having sex."

"Close enough," he shrugged, kissing me again. Pulling his body onto mine, he settled on me, resting his weight on his forearms that he curled under my shoulders. It was then I realized he was dressed in my sweatpants and tee shirt.

"Why is your hair wet?"

"I showered while you were sleeping. Borrowed some of your clothes," he grinned sheepishly.

"I can see that," I smiled. "How long was I out?"

"About an hour. I'm sorry about earlier," he blurted apologetically.

"Me too," I sighed. "I'm sorry we fought."

"Baby," he mumbled, kissing my nose, "fighting is a part of a relationship, but it doesn't matter because I'm all in no matter what. Fighting or not."

"I'm all in too," I reminded him, "but I should have told you."

Then he sighed and put his forehead to mine. "Why didn't you?"

"I didn't want to get your hopes up. I know you, you would have wanted to come, and been excited, but what if I couldn't do it. I didn't want you to see me fail."

"I don't care if you fail. You've seen me fail a lot," he reminded me.

"It's different now. I…I can't explain it," I whispered, frustrated.

I didn't know how to put into words how much doing things, even simple things, meant so much to me. What he might see as a small failure was huge to me. His failure was losing a race, mine was not being able to shit in the morning and having to use a suppository. The difference in our accomplishments and how we viewed them was enormous, and I didn't know if Jasper would ever understand that.

"What made you come over?" I asked.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you, and after practice I was going home and our song came on, and I had to see you."

I nuzzled his cheek with my nose and murmured, "I love you."

"Love you too."

As he stared down at me, he stared humming "Eight Days a Week". Jasper wiggled on me, like he was dancing, and soon had me laughing under him. "We should get up before we get caught."

"We should," he agreed, not moving off me. Instead, he kissed me again, not as intense as before, but just as wonderful. When he parted, he looked down at me thoughtfully. "Babe, why did you tell Emmett?"

"He asked me if you were my boyfriend, and I felt bad lying."

"Because he asked you?"

"Yeah, not telling people is one thing, but lying when asked seemed wrong."

"So if your dad or someone else asked, you would tell them?"

"I don't know, maybe."

"That's good, because I need to tell you something," he said quietly, pushing himself up to sit by my side. My eyes followed his even as he dropped his gaze from mine and stared worriedly at my navel. The joy of him being there quickly faded and I grew anxious. With a shaking hand, I reached out for him. He took it, lacing our fingers together and bringing his eyes back to mine.

Then he said two words that took my breath away.

"Bella knows."

I swallowed the thick lump in my throat and blinked a few times. Panicked, my heart began to race again, pounding against my ribs hard enough to bruise. "How?"

He thought for a few seconds before explaining. "At the game she asked me if I had a crush on you. She caught me off guard, and I didn't say anything. Then she said, she wouldn't tell you, and I told her you already knew," he finished, his voice so quiet, I could barely hear him.

"What did she say?" I choked out around the lump.

"Not much, she was surprised, but seemed okay. She made me promise to call her that night, so I did. She asked when we got together and stuff. I told her you never cheated on her, that you cared for her."

"Oh God," I groaned. I felt sick, my stomach wretched and twisted more with each word.

"She asked if we were in love and I said yes. When I asked how she knew, she said the same thing Alice had about looks and stuff. She said she doesn't think anyone else knows though."

Exhaling a trembling breath, I tried to wrap my mind around what he'd just told me. In a matter of hours, it had gone from one person to three people knowing about us. As confident as I had been in telling Emmett, giving his position with me, I wasn't as confident in Bella knowing.

But Jasper was.

While I knew Bella better than Jasper did, he was the one confident she would keep our secret, and I couldn't discredit his trust. Jasper wouldn't have told her, forced or not, if he didn't think she would keep her promise to stay quiet. My chest rose and fell quickly and I felt my face heating up. Lifting his other hand, he cupped my cheek.

"Babe, I swear, she's not mad or anything," he tried to reassure me.

"I should have been the one to tell her," I said.

"I know. But you couldn't lie to Emmett, and I couldn't lie to Bella. It just felt wrong."

Turning my head away, I screwed my eyes shut. It had been one fucking long day, I was tired on every level, and I just wanted to forget it all. But it wasn't that easy anymore.

"Don't be mad at me," Jasper sighed. "Please."

I opened my eyes and looked at him. "I'm not mad. I just wished you'd put her off until I could tell her."

"And when would that have been?" he challenged.

"I don't know," I admitted. "I guess after graduation, like we planned." I narrowed my eyes. "Why did you kiss me in front of Emmett?"

He gave me a small smile. "Because I was so fucking proud of you, so happy for you, that I didn't give a shit who saw us. Hell, I probably would have kissed you in front of your dad." He held my gaze for a few seconds. "Besides, I knew he wouldn't say anything to anyone."

"He won't."

"Are we okay?" he asked, brushing his fingers down the side of my face.

"Yeah, we're okay," I nodded, my eyes on his lips as he lowered them to mine in a soft kiss. My hand had just weaved into his hair when he broke the kiss.

"I've got more bad news."

"Jesus," I groaned. "I don't want to hear it."

"I can't drive you to practice on Thursday, I've got a track meet, and I can't miss a meet or else I don't qualify for States. Can your mom drive you?"

Relieved that was all it was, I let out a long breath. "Probably."

"Sorry, baby," he whispered.

"It's okay, don't worry about it. Any other bad news?"

"Edward," my mother called out from the other side of my door, "is Jasper staying for dinner?"

He moved away from me and looked at me hopefully. "Yeah," I replied to her and he grinned. When I heard her footsteps walking away, I said, "It's probably something gross."

"I don't care what it is as long as I'm with you."

And he was for the rest of the night.

After I got dressed, he followed me out to the kitchen where he helped set the table for my mother. My dad was working late, so it was just Jasper, Alice, my mother, and me. Alice chatted uselessly about some project she had coming up. Jasper and I didn't pay attention, we exchanged a few smiles and glances, and I knew if I looked under the table, I would find his foot resting against mine. When I asked my mother if she could drive me to practice, she said she would have to check.

Dinner ended, and Jasper went back to my room with me. We sat on my bed and did our homework, our knees touching when he crossed his legs. Music played while we debated physics problems and heatedly discussed our calculus homework. When it came time to read the chapter for English, Jasper laid his head in my lap, and holding his book up, read it aloud for us while my fingers played with his hair.

When there was a knock on my door, Jasper bolted upright, resuming his position from before but with a bit more space between us.

"Yeah?"

My mother opened the door. "I've got an appointment on Thursday. I can see if your father can drive you."

"Okay, thanks."

She closed the door and I sighed. "What if dad can't? I don't want to miss a practice."

"Why don't you ask Riley," Jasper suggested. "It's out of his way but he might do it."

"Good idea," I said. Picking up my phone, I sent Riley a text message telling him Jasper wasn't able to give me a ride and asked if he could. Then I put the phone down and patted my lap for Jasper to lie down again. He'd just started reading when my phone vibrated.

"What did he say?"

"He said 'sure, no problem, we can talk time at practice tomorrow.'" I sent him a reply and put my phone down.

"Sweet." Jasper snuggled back into me and waited until my hand returned to his hair before he spoke again. "Will you be okay with him driving?"

"No, probably not, but I don't have much choice."

"Just don't hold his hand," he warned with a raised brow and smile.

"Never," I murmured before bending over and kissing him.

It was several hours later before I was able to convince Jasper to leave my side. He kissed me feverishly, devouring and savoring every time our lips met in the hard kisses. "You gotta go," I groaned when he moved his lips down my neck.

He left an hour later.

I had just finished my nightly routine and climbed into bed when Survivor began to play on my phone. "Hey, love," I yawned.

"Hey, babe. Tired?"

"Very. That totally wore me out today."

"Want me to sing you to sleep?"

"Yeah." I wanted nothing more. My eyes were already close before the first words left his lips, but I smiled drowsily at his choice of song.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

"**~**"

"Jesus, you're so fuckin' hot," he groaned as his fingers squeezed the muscles of my shoulders. I loved when he got so worked up his accent wrapped itself around his words. Straddling my lap, he lazily slung his arms around my neck and moaned as our lips met.

Practice had finished only about fifteen minutes before, but the second Jasper had closed the door to the truck, he was climbing on my lap, yanking my shirt up my chest and kissing along my jaw. My body was still sore from the day before and I had felt every ache at practice. When Riley arched a brow at my third missed shot, I shrugged. I never would have thought walking a grand total of seven steps would exhaust me into the next day.

At school, I had eyed Bella, watching her closely for any slips she might make, but there were none. She glanced at Jasper once, confused by the grin he was wearing. The day before he had been slamming lunch trays around, but then he was smiling, and even talking to Newton.

My head fell back against the seat as my hands ran up his back, over his smooth, heated skin, feeling it quiver.

"Got so fuckin' hard watching you," he mumbled with a husky purr. Closing my eyes, I parted my lips and swept my tongue over his.

"What do you want?" I rasped against his lips.

"Touch me," he begged, his lips never leaving mine. Keeping one hand on his back, the other wandered down his sleek side to the waistband of his Levi's. Dipping my thumb behind the thick band, I ran it until I reached the button. As I tugged his lower lip into my mouth to suck on, I slipped the button through the hole. "Yeah, that's it."

His voice was heavy with need. The second button popped and I moved to the third. Short, wiry curls brushed against my finger and my eyes shot to his.

"Commando?"

"Just trying to save some time, babe," he said with a sheepish smile. His hips writhed on my lap, and he fused his mouth securely to mine once again. One more button and he would be mine. He shook with anticipation and excitement. "Please…"

The honk of a car horn scared the shit out of us, and Jasper jumped, practically all the way to his seat. His jeans were half undone, his erection peeking out and straining against the remaining buttons, and his shirt was ungracefully bunched up around his nipples. My heart had skipped about three beats and I ran a hand nervously through my hair and slapped Jasper's hand away when he went to pull my shirt down my chest.

"I got it," I growled at him. Taking a deep breath, I rolled down my widow before I dared to glance outside and see who it was.

"Well, hello," Riley chuckled from the driver's seat of his van. He had one arm draped over the steering wheel as he leaned forward a little. Next to me, Jasper lifted his hips and buttoned his jeans.

"Hey," I greeted breathlessly, "what's up?"

He laughed to himself, the corner of his lip curling up crookedly. "Seems like I should be asking you that question."

Fuck.

Now four people knew.

Sighing, I licked my swollen lips and stared out the front window, refusing to look at Jasper.

"I was just checking to see if you were okay. You seemed off at practice." His voice was concerned, sympathetic.

"Yeah, just sore. I'll be fine by Thursday," I excused.

"Sure thing," he stilled smiled. "I'll be at your place about five."

"Sounds good, thanks," I replied, having begun to calm down.

Riley leaned forward so he could see around me. "Night, Jasper."

"Night," Jasper mumbled.

"See ya, Cullen."

"Bye." He backed up the van. "Shit, shit, shit…shit," I grumbled as I rolled up the window. "Shit."

"Babe, it's fine. He won't say anything."

I shot Jasper a glance. "You don't know that."

"You're right, I don't. But I know he's your friend, and as your friend, I think if you asked him not to say anything, he wouldn't."

I knew Jasper was right, but I sighed in frustration anyway. "We're getting too careless."

"We're getting married," he argued. "You're my fiancé, I want to be able to touch you when I want."

I turned my head toward him and reached across the seat for his hand. "I know, love. I know you hate this."

"I don't hate it," he said, running his free hand through his hair while his other clasped mine. "I just don't mind people knowing I'm in love with you. I'm proud you're mine, baby, I want to show you off, but I'll wait until you're ready."

"Thanks." He gave me a smile, then took his hand from mine and started the truck before patting the seat for me to move over. Dragging my legs, I slid my ass across the fabric and pressed against Jasper. "It's going to be an awkward ride to practice on Thursday."

"Maybe not," Jasper said as he put an arm on the back of the seat and twisted his body to look out the back window. "He seemed pretty cool with it."

"Fuck, I hope so." Resting my head on my boy's shoulder, I put my palm on his thigh and looked out the window.

"**~~**"

"Four-fifty?" I asked as I pressed the buttons on the oven.

"Four-twenty-five," Jasper corrected. Standing beside me, he scooped the last of the cookie dough onto the metal sheet and then held out the spoon to me. "Wanna lick?"

"Mm," I moaned before parting my lips. He placed the spoon on my tongue and then groaned as I licked and sucked off all the dough.

"Jesus fucking Christ, how the hell do you make baking cookies sexy?"

Releasing the spoon, I shrugged. "We need to waste time until it's preheated, got any ideas?"

"Fucking dangerous question," he returned with a wink. Tossing the spoon into the sink, he turned to me. "We're alone, right?"

"Until eight."

He wiggled his brows and climbed onto my lap, his lips instantly going to my neck. "This is a perfect way to spend the time." Nibbling along the scruff on my jaw, he leaned against me and flung his legs over the arm of the chair.

After getting caught by Riley the night before and complaining we were taking too many risks, I should have tossed him off, but the more I thought about it, the more at ease I became. Not that I wanted my parents to walk in and find Jasper's teeth marking my neck, but maybe other people finding out wasn't as horrible as I thought.

Like Jasper had said on the way home, Riley was in a wheelchair too, so the 'fag in the wheelchair' wouldn't be an insult Riley would use. I didn't know him well, but he seemed pretty easy going and he was always smiling, especially considering all he'd been through, and maybe he wouldn't mind having a gay friend. He had still offered to give me a ride even after he knew about Jasper and I. Before I could work myself up too much, my phone played "Eye of the Tiger", and suddenly, things were better.

School was okay, Jasper yawned a lot, but when I even thought about suggesting he not come over after practice, he glared at me. So Jasper walked into my house after his track practice, having run less because of the meet the next day, and suggested we bake cookies. He pilfered my cupboards until he found all the ingredients, then he turned on music and taught me how to bake homemade chocolate chip cookies.

Jasper and I had just begun kissing with the buzzer on the oven went off and Jasper groaned. He got off me and while I held the door to the over open, he slid the tray of cookies inside. I closed the door and he set the timer.

"Now we've got twelve minutes. That's enough time to get me off," he grinned and sprinted for my bedroom. When I rolled into my room, his shirt was already off and he was undoing his pants. "Shut the door."

I pushed it with my hand hard enough to close it and then swallowed as he slid his pants down to his thighs. "C'mere."

In a daze he induced, I wheeled to him. Turning, he sat on my lap, leaning his back to my chest and putting his head on my shoulder. Without waiting for further instructions, I yanked his briefs down over his swelling cock and smiled when he gasped. It only took a few pumps of my hand to make him completely hard. Biting his bottom lip, he thrust his hips into my fist, not holding back his moans of pleas for harder and faster. Obeying, I stroked him just how he liked it, and pushing his hair aside with my nose, put my lips to his ear.

"How do you get so horny?"

"It's your fault," he panted, wantonly moving his pelvis. His jeans were around his knees, his underwear was bunched under his cock, and he was shirtless and sitting on my lap getting a handjob. Yet, he seemed as relaxed as ever with no fear of getting caught.

"You like me touching you?" I asked, already knowing answer.

"Yes," he gasped, his eyes rolling into his head when I swiped my palm over the head and smeared the beads of cum gathered there.

He cried out, and to muffle his moans, I kissed him. He had a more difficult time making sound when my tongue was down his throat. My pace remained steady, but his hips jerked erratically as he neared his climax. Our tongues met frantically just as his cock twitched and spilled warm cum onto my hand and his abs. Grunting, he tore his mouth from mine and clenched his eyes shut as his body stilled and flexed with each wave of his orgasm. Cum ran down my fingers as I continued to milk him, smiling at the way his cheeks flushed and his lids slowly drifted open.

"Thanks, babe."

"Welcome, love."

Kissing his cheek, I gave him one last pump before releasing his cock. Just then the oven buzzed and Jasper leapt off me. "Shit, don't want them to burn."

"You stay here, I'll get them." Backing the chair up, I opened the door and went to the kitchen, running my cum-covered hand under water before putting on a pot holder and pulling the cookie sheet out. Jasper joined me, pulling his shirt over his head, just as I closed the oven door.

"Oh, they look good," he said, touching one with the tip of his finger.

"Can we eat them?"

"They need to cool for a few minutes, then we can." Taking the spatula, he moved the cookies to a wire rack and then put the dishes in the sink. While we waited, Jasper grabbed sodas from the fridge, and after gulping half of his, he jumped up on the island and sat on the marbled top.

"Can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"The braces on Monday. Usually SCI patients have to until after their sixth month check up before they get the okay to try what you did. Why did you do it so soon?"

"I told Emmett a few weeks ago I wanted to try and he said he'd think about it. He gave me the okay last week."

"But why now?" Bracing his hands on the edge of the counter, he swung his legs back and forth.

"Remember I told you about my graduation dream? About wanting to walk on stage?"

"Yeah."

I decided to show Jasper what I'd found online. "Come with me." He followed me to my room and I went to my desk and booted up my laptop while Jasper sat behind me on the bed. Before I clicked on the bookmark, I looked at Jasper. "Promise you won't laugh?"

"I swear," he said solemnly.

Gnawing my lip, I clicked the link and opened up the miracle worker site. His eyes quickly scanned the page as he read the promises of walking for paraplegics and a life without pain for chronic sufferers.

"A miracle worker?" His voice a mixture of confusion and surprise.

I looked away and closed the laptop. My heart sank. He didn't even have to say anything more. Jasper didn't believe it was going to happen either. It had been stupid and foolish to even entertain the idea of thinking I could fly to China or Mexico for some operation and then walk a few hours later. I was smarter than that, but what the site promised was so much more enticing than intelligence.

Hope.

Staring at my useless legs, I spoke quietly. "I need to try everything, Jasper. I'd give anything to be whole again." Immediately, his face fell and he sighed, but I continued before he could stop me. "Since this happened, I've dreamed of one thing, walking on the stage at school to get my diploma, and that isn't going to happen. Fuck, they probably won't even have a ramp for me to fucking wheel myself up."

Jasper got off the bed and dropped to his knees in front of me, putting his hands on my thighs. "I know, Edward, but you know this isn't the way."

"I just thought…I don't know, maybe I deserved a miracle. I'm a good kid, right?"

His eyes brightened with moisture that he blinked it away. "Aw, baby, you're a wonderful and perfect, and if anyone deserves a miracle, it's you." Leaning toward me, he kissed me before sitting back on his calves.

"Do you think things happen for a reason?" I sniffed, wiping the lone tear on my cheek.

"Yeah. If things didn't happen for a reason, then how would we explain my parents moving from Texas all the way up here, and you and me in biology together, and falling in love? We were destined to find each other."

"Then why did this happen to me? What's the reason? I was on this forum and there was a story about a kid who was in a car accident and brain damaged. Under that post were others that said maybe he deserved it because he was gay."

"Edwa—"

"Maybe I deserved this too," I finished quietly.

"Baby, why would think that?"

"Because I'm a sin. I mean, our families aren't big church goers, but we know the basics, we believe in God, and what you and I are is wrong."

"It's not wrong and you know it. Some people might think so, but I believe in a God who made us all different for a reason. He made us like this, he must accept it, and if some people don't, that's their problem." His words were soothing, confident, like he'd thought about it before.

"Then why did this happen to me if I'm a good person?" It was an unfair question. I knew Jasper didn't have all the answers, he was just a teenager, but he was all I had to ask.

"Baby, you're a beautiful person. You're not a sin, and neither am I. But I don't know why this happened to you. I wish I did so I could fix it, but don't you dare think for one second you did anything to deserve this. Sometimes things just happen. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"I just want to be a man again," I sighed, bringing my wet eyes to his.

"You are. You're more man than anyone I know. Look what you've accomplished already. This new body, playing basketball, standing and taking few steps, and it's only been five months. Just imagine what you will be doing in another five." Reaching up, he traced my lips with his thumb. "You're amazing, Edward. You were amazing before the accident and you're more amazing now. If it'd been me, I never could have done what you have. You deserve a miracle, but you know you won't get it by flying to some doctor in China."

"I know," I admitted sadly in a mumble. "After the other day, I just want to walk on that stage so bad."

"Maybe you can with the braces."

I snorted. "You saw how hard walking fucking three steps was. And that was with two guys holding me. Graduation is only a month away. I'll never be able to walk that far by then."

Rising up again, he wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me into a hug. "I'll do whatever I need to do to make sure you walk on that stage, baby," he vowed softly.

Burying my face in his silky, golden waves, I sighed. I knew he would keep his word no matter what. Jasper would break himself, and possibly me, to make sure my dream came true, and while I doubted it ever would come true, I didn't doubt how much he would try.

Because that was what Jasper did.

If he wasn't there to catch my fall, he was there to pick me back up again.

"Love you," I sniffled into his hair, nuzzling my nose into him.

"Love you too," he whispered. "Ready for some awesome cookies?" Sitting up straight, I wiped my damp cheeks and nodded, trying to smile. He stood up and walked around my bed to the door. "You know there's nothing that chocolate chip cookies and ice cream can't solve."

"Yeah?"

"Yep, proven fact."

"Oh really?" I gave him an earnest smile.

"They are orgasms for the mouth. Nothing anything better."

I followed him down the hallway, watching his cute ass in the jeans.

"Oh, I can think of something better…."

"**~~**"

"You sure you're going to be okay going with him?" Jasper asked as he walked out of the cafeteria next to me. "If not, I can skip the mee-"

"No, you need to go because of States. I'll be fine," I said pushing alongside him. I wasn't entirely sure that was true, but it was what he needed to hear. He didn't believe me though because he sighed heavily as we worked our way through the mingling people.

Bella had left early to go to the guidance office before gym, leaving the rest of us at the table. Jasper had been quiet at lunch, a combination of focusing for the upcoming meet and the guilt of not driving me to practice.

"You okay with this?"

"What?" he asked as he stepped to the side to avoid a couple kissing against the lockers. "Riley giving you a ride?"

"Yeah. You're not jealous, right?"

He gave me an amused glance, "Should I be?"

Gripping the rims and pushing the wheel, I shook my head. "Course not."

"He is cute," he said lowly, winking.

"Those eyes…"

"That hair…"

"That body," we both said.

Reaching the locker room, Jasper turned to me before he went inside. Leaning against the wall, he motioned for me to come closer. My feet were almost touching his shins when he bent over. "I know where your heart lies, baby, and I won't ever doubt that."

Before I could say anything, he straightened and went into the locker room to get ready for his meet. I should have gone to gym, I was going to be late, but I didn't care. The closer it got to Riley picking me up, the more nervous I became. It wasn't only the drive, but what he might say after catching Jasper and me the night before. The conversation with Emmett had been awkward and I'd known him for five months, I barely knew Riley.

When the door swung opened and Jasper walked out, I immediately relaxed. He gave me an easy smile and shook his head to get the hair out of his face. A large duffle bag in the school colors was strapped over his shoulder.

"You waited."

"Of course." I looked up at him, holding the rims tightly to avoid reaching out and taking his hand. "I wanted to wish you luck."

"Thanks." Glancing down the hall, he crouched down in front of me. "I know you're worried, but you'll be fine today. Riley's cool, he won't care about us."

"I hope you're right."

"I always am," he said confidently. "Seriously though, just pretend I'm there, focus on your breathing and looking out your window, okay?"

"I will." When I saw my jeans moving, I looked down to see his index finger stroking my calf.

"Call me after practice."

"Okay."

"I really want to kiss you right now," he said with a grin, then mouthed. "Be safe, baby."

"See ya soon, love," I said as quietly.

Standing, he gave me one last look before turning and pushing the door open to go to the waiting bus. I watched him until he was out of sight, then spun my chair and headed to gym class. I suffered through it with Bella stayed close to my side. Part of me wanted to let her know I knew, but I never did.

My mother was waiting in the usual handicapped spot, and after I got into the car, she put my chair in the trunk. Alice was already waiting in the backseat, her headphones on and her head moving to the music she was listening too. The ride home was long considering the short distance, and I was anxious to get inside and change for practice.

"Don't forget I've got an appointment, but your friend is coming to get you, right?"

Looking out the window and fisting my hands, I nodded.

"Can you just eat a sandwich for dinner?"

"Sure."

When we pulled into the driveway, Alice climbed out and went inside. My mother brought my chair to me and I moved into it and pushed toward the ramp.

"I won't be too late," she said, getting back into the car.

"Bye."

I was inside the house before she was out of the driveway. Pushing into the kitchen, I found Alice there with the fridge open staring in it.

"Who's your friend?"

"I thought you had music on?"

"Exceptional hearing," she shrugged, finally deciding on chocolate milk and an apple. "So?"

"Jasper has a track meet so Riley is giving me a ride to basketball practice tonight." I held out my hand for an apple. Opening the door back up, she grabbed one and tossed it to me.

"He's hot," she said dreamily. "Jas doesn't mind?"

"Course not. It was his idea actually."

"Well, tell the hottie basketball player your sister says hi," she laughed and walked out of the kitchen before I could reply.

I started my homework and checked my email, anxiously hoping there would be something from OSU but there wasn't. However there was one from Mr. Harter letting me know he got the scholarship application and had submitted it to the committee and I should know in a few weeks. Disappointed there wasn't anything else, not that I expected there to be so soon, I closed my computer and grabbed a catheter kit.

In the bathroom, I emptied my bladder, staring into space while my urine ran through the small tubing into the bag. What I wouldn't have given to have been able to take a piss like every other guy. Sighing, I pulled the tube out, dumped the bag into the toilet and flushed it. After tossing the gloves and kit in the trash, I washed my hands and returned to my room to get dressed.

The day before Jasper had been in my room only a few seconds before he was almost naked, but for me getting changed was a twenty minute process. With the exception of one small spot, my legs were dead weight. That hadn't been more apparent than it had been on Monday when it had taken two people to hold me upright.

But I had been upright.

I'd looked Jasper in the eye, I had kissed him without him kneeling or bending over or lying on me.

While I changed into clothes for practice, my thoughts continued to swirl and race and tangle. By the time I was putting on my sneakers, I was exhausted. Mentally and physically it'd been one of the longest weeks I'd had in months. Moving back to the chair, I gripped my sweatpants and lifted each leg, placing my foot on the metal footrest before making sure my basketball bag was packed. After tossing a bottle of water in it, I zipped it up and headed outside to wait for Riley.

Leaving my bag on the ground, I shot the basketball for a few minutes before I heard Riley's van pull into the driveway. Spinning the chair around, I was relieved when he waved and gave me his trademark smile from behind the steering wheel. I watched as he went out of view, only to then see him on the ground on the other side of the van.

"Hey, Cullen," he grinned as he approached. "Ready?"

"Yeah." I tried to answer confidently but I sounded weak and unsure.

Cocking his head to the side, look at me with concern. "Everything okay?"

Reaching over to avoid looking at him, I grabbed my bag and hauled it to my lap. "Yeah," I sighed, "it's just riding in a car is still hard for me."

"Aw, shit, I forgot man. You sure you want to do this?"

Lifting my chin, I answered definitely, "Yeah, I'll be fine."

"I promise I'm a really good driver. I don't want to get hurt." He winked, lightening the mood.

Turning his chair with ease, he glided across the driveway to the side of the van. I followed him, seeing the ramp extended from the opened side door.

"Guests first," he said, motioning for me to go up the ramp. With one good push, I was inside the van. "You can put your bag in the back and then move to the passenger seat. There's a button on the side that will push it back so you can get in it."

The charcoal gray interior was empty with only his bag on the back seat. Unlike most vans, there was no middle seat, only the very back bench seat and the two front captain's chairs. Those two chairs sat in a metal track that ran a few feet behind them. When I pressed the button Riley had mentioned, the passenger seat slowly moved backward on the track until I could pull my chair up next to it. I transferred to the seat and then pressed the button again and it moved just as slowly forward until I heard it click into place. When I went to reach for my seatbelt, I saw the driver's chair moving and realized Riley was already inside the van. He'd moved my chair out of the way and transferred to the driver's seat much like I had. I watched as his chair eased him toward the steering wheel and controls. Once his seat stopped, he reached down and effortlessly moved his legs so his feet were crossed.

When he caught me watching, he explained as he buckled his seat belt, "It gives me more space for the controls, plus I have some spasticity and this seems to help ease it."

I nodded, and then watched in awe at the way he confidently started the ignition and shifted into reverse. His side of the van looked like any other except for the knob protruding from the steering wheel and the black metal bar extending from the pedals toward the steering wheel, where it turned left and became a rubber lever. As his right hand grabbed the knob, his left went to the lever and he pushed it down toward his thigh. Using his mirrors, Riley guided the van out of the driveway with ease and shifted into drive. Suddenly, we were moving forward, but instead of looking out the window, I watched him.

He had a nice profile with a straight nose and strong jaw, and lashes so long they could be seen a mile away. The eyes they framed never stopped moving as he glanced from the road before us to all of his mirrors while the wind from his open window blew his hair into his face. He shook his head to move it, but it didn't do any good. Already dressed in his tank top and shorts for practice, his muscles rippled under his skin as he spun the wheel to turn. When we came to the first stop sign, his left hand, which had never moved from the lever, pushed it forward and we rolled to a stop. The radio was on, playing some classic rock, but I was too enthralled with watching him to notice what song.

Or to worry about other cars or what he knew about me.

When he caught me staring, he glanced at me. "You doing okay?"

Pulling me from my thoughts with his flashy smile, I nodded. "Have you ever seen a handicapped equipped car before?" I shook my head as my eyes dropped to the handle right above his legs. "You haven't driven since your accident, have you?"

Finally looking away, I shook my head again. "I don't know if I can."

"You will someday. It's part of getting your independence back, and you'll want it back, trust me." His smile widened. "I can teach you some day if you want."

"That'd be great, thanks," I answered automatically.

There was so much to admire about Riley.

The way he was so comfortable in his chair, his van, hell, his life. He'd been in a chair longer than me, but I couldn't imagine I would ever reach the same acceptance level he had. Riley had that independence he spoke of, he was in college, lived in an apartment with a few other guys, had a part time job, drove, played basketball. Things I could only dream of accomplishing.

Then there was his comfort with who he was and how he looked. My eyes went to his shorts and his legs coming from them. There was a light dusting of hair on them, but the muscle was weak and thin, yet he didn't cover them up. He had intense eyes and styled hair and a smile that could melt ice, and he used his all American boy-next-door good looks to draw attention away from the fact he was paralyzed.

Riley wouldn't consider himself handicapped or disabled, it just wasn't how he thought. His mind was too positive for those negative thoughts. He was who he was, and others could take it or leave, but he was going to live his life regardless and not let anything stand in the way, including his paralyzed limbs, of what he wanted to do.

"Do you remember your accident?"

His face fell for just a split second and I regretted having blurted it out, but then he nodded and his smile returned. "I remember just about all of it." When I didn't ask anything more, he continued on his own. "I was sixteen and had been riding for about nine years. I was on my bike so much it was like an extension of me. Hell, I think I felt more comfortable on it then off it. When I was fourteen, I got my first sponsor, a local sporting goods store, and by the time I was fifteen I had a dozen sponsors, five bikes, and my own crew. On my sixteenth birthday, I was picked by Dirt Rag Magazine to be the winner of the Northwest Championships, which would put me on a national tour with the pros." He sighed. "At sixteen."

"You must have loved it."

"I did. There was nothing like the feeling of going down a mountain at crazy speeds, going over the jumps, hearing the people cheer when you landed on the other side. It gives you a natural high. You ever seen it?"

"Not really, just on TV."

"Hard to capture the rush with video, but it's amazing. Most courses are designed with all natural jumps, leaving in the rocks and shit. Sometimes you landed the jumps on rocks before it turned back to dirt. It was the second day of the Northwest Championships and I was in the semi-finals. The trail was pretty narrow so you raced alone, and they take the top eight times for the finals. I nailed the first half of the course, hit all the jumps perfectly, turning great, I was easily going to have one of the fastest times. I was a little over half way through when it happened."

He paused as he merged with traffic. I'd been listening to his story so intently, I hadn't noticed we were already getting on the highway. Keeping my focus on him, I took a deep breath.

"I hit this blind corner, people were on both sides and there was a huge tree on my right. I'd raced the course a few times, I knew it pretty well, but for some reason, I forgot when I hit that corner I needed to swing wide because there was a steep hill after it. I don't know what happened, I've spent hours and hours analyzing what I did wrong. I might have shifted my weight too far to the left and my front tire caught the side of the rock and before I could react I was sailing through the air. I flipped over the handlebars, heard my bike crash right before I hit the ground."

"Jesus," I mumbled.

"The second I landed, I knew something wasn't right. I could hear footsteps and people around me gasp, but when I tried to turn to see them, I couldn't move. The helmets we wear are pretty big, like motorcycle helmets with shields and stuff, and they restrict your movement. Then I heard a guy telling me to keep still and not move, and I remember laughing and telling him I didn't have a choice. Then I looked up and saw the look on his face. Jesus, I'll never forget it. He was fucking pale and there was a panic in his eyes. He held my head completely still while we waited. I didn't really feel any pain, except for my shoulder and my head throbbed, but I could tell I wasn't lying right, that I was in an awkward position. I wanted to move, but when I tried, nothing happened. I couldn't feel myself lifting my leg. I heard people saying stuff about a rock and that surely I had broken bones. The race EMTs got there and asked me to squeeze their hand and move my feet. I started to fade in and out then, but I know they strapped me to a board and carried me to the ambulance. Next thing I remember, I woke up in a hospital bed with a halo on my head and a doctor telling me I was paralyzed."

His last memory was one I could relate to, although I never had to wear a halo, I clearly remembered my parents, my doctor father telling me I wouldn't walk again.

I couldn't believe how easy it was for Riley to tell his story, it was almost more like fact than a horrible accident that had happened to him and taken away everything he'd known. It was hard enough to be paralyzed, but to have been conscious the entire time, to know something was wrong and not be able to fix it must have been scarier than what had happened to me.

"You're a T7, right?"

"Yep, T7 complete. The part that sucks the most is I don't have use of my upper ab muscles, so it took me awhile to get my balance in the chair, transferring was pretty hard at first but because I was an athlete, my core strength was really good and that helped a lot. How about you? Remember anything?"He asked so casually, like he was wondering what I'd eaten for dinner the night before.

"Not really. I was driving home after work, I looked away from the road for a second and then nothing but bright lights, crunching metal, screaming…a guy came into my lane. It was New Year's Eve, the guy was drunk. Hit me head on"

"Fucking drunk drivers. I don't know which is worse. Not remembering or remembering everything.

"They both suck."

He laughed and then switched lanes on the highway. With great coordination, he pushed the lever down, turned on the directional, and glanced in all the mirrors.

Wanting to keep him talking, keep my mind busy with his voice and not the highway, I asked, "What are you studying at college?"

"Sports and business. I can't decide if I want to own a sports store or be a coach, or maybe do something with disable sports." He gave me a roll of his eyes. "I'm not really sure, but I figure I'm young, I've got time to figure it all out."

"How do you do it?" I blurted out. I was suddenly curious about how he lived his life, and wanted to know everything about him.

"Do what?" he chuckled. "I need specifics."

"Live." It was as specific as I could get.

He shrugged. "I've got two really cool roomies. We share the cooking, cleaning, and errands. They do the housework I can't. I work at the campus bookstore part-time, so I have plenty of time to get my studying done. My parents are great, they help out with money if I need it, but so far, it's been awesome. How about you? Where are you going next year?"

I wanted to tell him about OSU but feared he might let it slip in front of Jasper. "I've been accepted to UW. I had a full scholarship until the accident. I'm still getting some on merit but not nearly what I was getting before."

"That sucks."

"Sure does," I sighed.

"You'll be fine. Moving away from home is scary, and doing in a wheelchair is even harder, but you can do it. You're roommate will help if you need it, and you'll get so caught up in classes and life on campus that you won't have time to miss your old life."

"I hope so."

A silence fell over us, but I noticed his fingers tapping to the beat of the song on the steering wheel. He was completely at ease driving, no fear of the other cars or the fact his feet weren't touching the pedals.

"Have you ever tried to walk with braces or something?"

It was a few seconds before he answered. "I tried them once. Harder than hell," he admitted, "Haven't really tried them since. I don't know, I guess I don't mind the chair. I've accepted my life in it, I don't try to fight it."

Again it was quiet, then he asked something I'd been trying preparing myself for since after practice Tuesday night.

"So, what's the deal with you and Jasper?"

"He's my best friend," I habitually gave him my standard answer. To everyone else it was the expected answer, but Jasper and I knew it went far deeper than friendship.

"Friend with benefits?" He raised a brow.

Blushing, I looked away. Talking about Jasper, about being intimate with Jasper, with someone else was still new to me. "No, he's a lot more than that."

"Boyfriend?" He glanced at me, the corner of his lips curling up at my confirmation. "Known him long?"

Shifting, I leaned against the door and chewed on my lip as I debated on answering. I could have easily said I didn't want to talk about Jasper like that and hope Riley understood, but like I had with Emmett, part of me wanted to tell someone about Jasper, all he meant to me and our history together. I wanted to share what we had, and maybe Riley would be cool with having a gay friend. Releasing my lip, I looked directly at him.

"He moved here three years ago from Texas, but we've been together only for two," I answered proudly.

"Oh, a cowboy," he laughed.

"Something like that," I replied. More like my superhero. "He's pretty fucking awesome. Especially with all this," I motioned to my legs, "shit."

"It's nice to have someone you can depend on."

"How about you? Got a girlfriend?" His laugh was hearty and loud, and I liked the way his night blue eyes glimmered when he looked at me and shook his head. "How come? Because you're in a chair?"

"No, it's not the chair, I get plenty of attention from the ladies," he chuckled, the sparkle brightening in his eyes.

"No time?"

"I'm busy with classes and basketball, but I would always make time for some loving." He was grinning mischievously by then.

"Then how come?" I found it really hard to believe that a guy as hot as Riley couldn't find a girlfriend if he wanted one.

Taking his eyes off the road for only an instant, he glanced at me with a crooked, knowing smile. A smile I knew. Just as it dawned on me, he spoke.

"Because I'm gay."

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

A huge thank you to C for his reassurance on this chapter! He just posted his first story, it's beautiful! http:/www DOT fanfiction DOT net/s/7358323/1/Bones#

So, lots in this chapter…thoughts?

A link to mountain bike racing video youtube DOT com/watch?v=Du3Iap2F9ps&feature=related (Riley has balls!)